I saw the grossest thing this morning, and it was floating.
-In the air? -No, no.
In the water fountain outside the school.
-I don't want to hear about this. -GORDO: I do.
Good morning. Lawrence Tudgeman III here with your morning announcements.
So, what exactly was floating in the water fountain?
So, whoever put the "you know what" in the water fountain this morning,
the principal is going to find out who you are.
Joey. I mean, not that I'd tell anybody.
Joey. So, let's just forget that I ever said it, okay?
Joey.
I would not want to be Joey.
I would not want to be Tudgeman.
Anyway, next Monday, we will be voting on class favorites.
Great. Yet another opportunity to make students feel inadequate.
The categories are Best Looking...
Cheerleader.
Best Dressed...
Cheerleader.
Most Poised and Most Likely to Succeed.
Hi, Joey.
[LOUD CRASHING OVER PA]
I guess the announcements are over.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
So, who do you think will win Best Looking?
Kate or Claire.
-What about Best Dressed? -Whoever doesn't win Best Looking.
-How about Most Poised? -Hey, I could win that one.
Poised? Balanced? Easy-mannered? Graceful?
Ahh!
Ooh!
Okay, maybe not.
That sounds more like you, Miranda.
-You think? -Yeah.
I mean, you haven't tripped, fallen or spilled anything on yourself
the whole entire year.
Neither have I.
Or blown up any science experiments.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
That was a long time ago.
-People remember. -GORDO: Fine.
Then I'm going for Most Photographed this year.
Is that even a category?
When the yearbook first comes out, what's the thing that everyone does?
Draw a mustache on Coach Kelly's picture.
No, no, after that.
They all count how many times they got their picture in it.
There's my hand. That counts.
I don't do that.
How many times were you in the last yearbook?
Three.
I think it was three.
[CLOCK TICKING]
Five!
See? Everybody keeps the count.
So this year, I'm going to set a record. I'm going to be everywhere.
Thank you very much.
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
Well, I definitely think that you're Most Poised material.
I don't really feel like most anything.
That's what Kate wants you think. That way, you never even try.
It's her way of maintaining the status quo.
"Status quo"?
It means that Kate wants to keep things the way they are.
Why didn't you just say that?
I did.
Well, I say, no more quo.
If someone completely normal
came to school dressed in an outrageously hip outfit,
well, then they'd get the vote.
-So do it. -Me?
All you have to do is be better dressed
than Kate or Claire for this one day.
And win Best Dressed. You can break the status cow!
-"Quo." -Whatever.
I wouldn't know what to wear.
There's a hot new pair of hip-huggers in the window at the Style Shack.
All the music video people get their clothes there.
Kate and Claire might as well not even show up.
All you have to do is outdress Kate and Claire for one day,
and you'll be Best Dressed in the yearbook forever.
Forever?
Ever.
Hey, Mom. There you are.
Hey, listen. Monday is yearbook voting,
and I was hoping to maybe make Best Dressed.
Best Dressed? Are they still voting on that?
It's so materialistic.
-It'd be cool if you won, though, huh? -Exactly.
I remember when I was your age, Coco Newbury always won Best Dressed.
Well, listen. You want me to help you with anything?
You need anything washed or ironed?
Actually, there's this really cool pair of hip-huggers at the Style Shack
and this awesome top.
-Well, how much? Tell me. -$110.
$110?
Honey, this household runs on a budget!
A budget? I couldn't possibly be on a budget.
I'd run out of money!
But, Mom, this is an emergency.
A clothes emergency.
Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
but the money tree in the backyard died!
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
I thought you wanted to help me win.
Well, I want to, but this house still runs on a budget.
I mean, we just put new brake shoes on the car.
Great! The car gets new shoes before I do.
Better not lose that. It's going to be worth a lot one day.
-Really? -Yep.
Your son's a star!
Are they still running that Cardio Punch ad?
-[DRAGON GROWLING] -[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
The Uncle Wendell Show is taping at the ball park.
Matt made this crazy face and cracked everybody up.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
The Uncle Wendell Show?
I think I watched that when I was still in diapers.
So, you're still watching it?
Mm.
They asked us to bring Matt back next week.
MATT: And every week!
They said I had "pizzazz."
I'm sure they did, because I can smell it from here.
Mom!
Now, now. My son, the TV star.
My brother, the Uncle Wendell dork.
Lizzie.
Mom, I mean "dork" in a very loving way.
Listen, what do you say you and I go through your closet
and try to put together a few new outfits?
Mom, everybody at school has already seen my clothes.
You lost to Coco and I'm going to lose to Kate.
Coco?
I remember Coco.
-She was hot. -She was not hot.
She was just well dressed.
MATT: Four hundred and ninety eight,
four hundred and ninety nine,
five hundred.
-Morning, sweety. -Good morning.
-What are you doing? -I'm making copies of my picture.
Let's see. Five hundred and six.
Five hundred and seven.
-Five hundred? -Five hundred one, five hundred two.
-Five hundred? -Five hundred and one...
-[PRINTER BEEPING] -Mom, we're out of paper.
We're out of paper?
You used all the paper making copies of your picture?
They're not for me. They're for my fans.
Morning, Mom.
Morning, sweetheart.
I just want to say that I was up all night, tossing and turning,
but I think I have worked it all out.
That's terrific, Mom.
Great, so, I would like to take you bargain-hunting on Saturday.
Ba...
Bargain-hunting?
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
-Great! -[SIGHS]
It's called Style Shack for a reason.
I'm not going to be voted Best Dressed
wearing last year's rejects from a bargain basement.
Excuse me?
Are you that goofy-faced kid from the Uncle Wendell Show?
Why, yes. Yes, I am.
Can I have your autograph?
Why, yes. Yes, you can.
Turn around.
-Here you go. -Thanks.
And so it begins.
Hey, so, where are the pants from the Smiley Shack?
-Actually, it's Style Shack. -Oh.
And they're still being worn by the world's best dressed mannequin.
-What's that? -Oh, this?
This is a map of the school, but this,
this is a list of where the photographer will be next week.
Wherever he is, you'll find me.
LIZZIE: Wow! I never realized Miranda was so...
poised.
Hey, guys. Catch this.
I've had people come up to me
and tell me they're going to vote for me as Most Poised.
Me! Maybe a Most.
This is so exciting. My best friend, Most Poised.
And Gordo is going to be Most Photographed.
And after we go to the mall, Lizzie McGuire, Best Dressed.
Actually, no mall.
My mom has decided to take me bargain-hunting.
Bargain-hunting? Is she serious?
How are you supposed to outdress Kate and Claire with bargains?
I can't.
Well, if you want, we can go halfsies on Most Photographed.
You know, Lizzie, you could always borrow some clothes.
Yeah, that'd be great, but stores don't lend out their clothes.
You know, I've heard of people buying their clothes for special occasions,
wearing it and then returning it and getting their money back.
All you have to do is tuck a few price tags.
And avoid all damages.
Oh! That's a must.
Well, I don't have enough money to buy the pants in the first place.
Well, how much are they?
Well, $65, but I've only saved up $10.
Well, I've got $30 from my birthday.
[CLOCK TICKING]
Fine, fine. I've got $30, too.
There's no downside to this investment, right?
No, we buy the pants tomorrow and we get our money back on Monday.
But I'm supposed to go bargain-hunting with my mom tomorrow.
So, tell her we're going to study.
Which we will, after we go to the mall.
Do you really think that this is going to work?
Absolutely!
What if I spill something on them?
I'll be leading the way, keeping you out of harm's way.
I'll be very poised!
Gordo, what are you doing?
I'm just practicing my hit and run photo-crashing.
See, I'm going to be in all the club pictures
before they even realize I'm not in their club.
Okay.
I don't wanna look at clothes! Clothes are boring.
Fine, I'll just be a few minutes.
We can meet back at the fountain, okay?
[SIGHS]
These must be the ones.
It's the goofy-faced kid from the Uncle Wendell Show!
-Here, take this. -Okay, sure.
Smile.
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]
[KIDS CLAMORING]
Yeah, okay. Why not?
Hey, everybody, it's the goofy-faced kid from the Uncle Wendell Show!
Uh, all right. Easy there now.
Hey, wait.
Hey! I got a piece of the goofy-faced kid's shirt.
-Come on, Matt, let's go! -KID: Get him!
-Where'd he go? -That way!
[ALL PANTING]
-You see anybody? -No. I think we lost them.
Going through the car wash and the alley helped.
-Yeah. -Good work, Dad.
Did you ever work for the Secret Service?
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
I'm not at liberty to discuss that.
[PANTING]
Ah!
-Morning, Matt. -Howdy.
What do you have planned today?
Right. Like I could go somewhere.
Did we ground you?
Dad, please. I can't go out there.
The people. They can't control themselves.
So you're never going outside anymore?
Let's face it, Mom.
I'm destined to the reclusive life of a lonely, eccentric celebrity.
Well, I'll be in my room.
If you want in, knock three times fast, then yell...
[WHOOPING]
If you want in my room, don't say that.
Okay, Lizzie, it's our day to go find those clothes you want.
This is going to be so much fun.
I can't lie to my mom, but I can't wear bargains.
Ooh!
Oh, my gosh! Mom, I completely forgot.
Gordo and I are going over to Miranda's house
to study for a really big test.
Oh, I thought you and I would... Well, that's okay.
School comes first. I know your sizes.
[SIGHS]
Where is the button for "lower than low"? That's how I feel.
[COWS MOOING]
[CATS MEOWING]
[LION ROARS]
Yes!
Best Dressed, here I come.
-[KNOCKING ON DOOR] -Just a second.
[SIGHS]
Come in.
Look what I got!
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
Oh, I have one more thing.
Now, I know you really wanted the pants at the Style Shack,
but I thought you might like these.
Wow! Not hideous. Not Style Shack, but not hideous.
They're fantastic, Mom, and you got these on sale?
Honey, I spent less on all this stuff
than I would have spent on that one pair of pants
from the Style Shack.
Now you go out there and you win Best Dressed.
Yeah.
Oh, hey, you don't want to go in there.
The toilets overflowed.
It's so...
[FLUSHING]
[MOUTHING] Bye!
Oh! So, how many clubs have you gotten into so far?
MATT: A lot!
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
And I just slipped into the Safety Patrol picture.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
Wow!
Lizzie, those pants are sweet!
And I'd like to thank my mom and dad and the Style Shack!
Thanks. Okay, are you guys ready for this day?
Are you kidding? Today is our day.
Today, we make yearbook history.
Okay, Best Dressed.
Most Photographed.
Most Poised.
MATT: Look out.
The pants! They're ruined.
[ALL LAUGHING]
I guess Most Poised is out of reach.
Well, at least that's one more picture I'm in.
[SIGHS]
Okay. I don't even want to talk about it. Let's just get to class.
Okay.
You know, I bet people still love the clothes your mom bought.
Then you can still win Best Dressed.
No, no! Forget about winning. What am I going to do about the pants?
I can't even return them now.
Hey, Lizzie, I love those pants.
These are bargain basement pants, people.
But they are kind of cool.
Hey, Lizzie, very cool pants.
Thanks.
I wish I had never seen these pants. How stupid was I?
I ruined a pair of pants that none of us can afford to buy,
and I lied to my mom.
-"None of us"? -"None of us"?
Matt, what's wrong, honey?
What's the worst thing that could have happened?
Are you okay?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'll get it.
Well, tell me.
Just when I was climbing the ladder of fame and fortune,
I get squashed like a bug.
What happened?
The Uncle Wendell Show went on a hiatus,
but everyone knows that means it's cancelled.
I've got ten dozen
"Matt, the Uncle Wendell Show guy" T-shirts here.
The guy at the door says we owe him $360.
-Yikes! -SAM: Yeah, yikes!
Matt! Matt!
[MATT YELLING]
Mom, why are you putting toilet paper in the kitchen cabinet?
Well, I saved money buying the 50-roll package,
but I ran out of places to put all of them.
Oh, let me help you.
Hey.
Did Kate win Best Dressed?
No.
Claire did, but that's okay.
It is?
Yeah, because, by the end of the day,
every girl at school wanted to know where I had gotten my clothes from.
That's great!
But the problem is, I don't know where my new clothes came from.
And I really wish I did, because that would have meant that
I would have spent a whole great day shopping with you.
Mom, I really want you to know that I appreciate everything that you did.
And next time you go bargain-hunting, would it be okay if I came with you?
-I would love that. -Me, too.
A new pair of hip-huggers from the Style Shack, $65.
A more popular pair of hip-huggers from Nel's Clothes Closet, $12.95.
An afternoon of hiding toilet paper and laughing with my mom.
Oh! Hey!
ANIMATED LIZZIE: Priceless.
MAN: Deep breath.
[INHALES AND EXHALES]
I'm just kidding. Okay, wait. Um...
No, no, no, no, no! Well, you know what I'd say?
Should we go back?
There's a hot new pair of hip-huggers in the window at the...
Agh!
Style Shack.
I'll be very poised.
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHING]
What are you doing?
Where's the button for lower than low?
[BLABBERING]
Today, I just slipped into the...
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]