LIZZIE: Okay. This one says raspberry. But it tastes so much like vanilla.
I love it anyway. Here, try it, Miranda.
The... The monster truck roundup is coming to town.
Six fun filled hours of monster truck force
and monster truck action.
What? I'm sick of talking about girl stuff.
Gordo, lip gloss is important.
By the way,
since when have you been interested in monster trucks?
I'm a guy. And we never talk about guy stuff.
Miranda.
Oh, hi.
Are you okay?
Yeah, you've been kinda quiet.
[SIGHS] I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't eat, I can't sleep.
I've been, like, totally distracted.
-Why? -I don't know.
It all started in drama class yesterday
when Ryan Adams did that monologue.
Oh, yeah. He was pretty good.
-Good? -Good?
Ryan Adams wasn't good.
He was amazing, Gordo. Amazing.
And wasn't he cute, Lizzie?
And smart. Really smart.
And, um, what's that word?
Uh... charismatic.
He looked charismatic.
I thought he was amazing, funny and smart.
Oh, my gosh. This is so exciting, Miranda.
I know. Nothing says exciting like the Monster Truck Roundup.
Not that. This!
She loves him. She loves him not.
Nah! She loves him, she loves him, she loves him!
What?
Miranda, you're in love.
I am?
With who?
With Ryan.
Really?
She doesn't even know him.
Yes, I do. Didn't you hear that monologue?
He was sensitive, he was cute, he was funny.
All right, all right, enough.
I've got to start hanging out with some guys.
So, what do we do now?
Listen, as your friend
I'm going to do everything I can to get you two together.
What am I saying?
I have no idea what to do.
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
[GAGS]
Mom! Matt's staring at me.
Matt, stop staring at your sister.
[SIGHS]
[MOCK RETCHES]
What are you doing?
Clearing my throat.
Oh, Matt.
Morning, kids.
Morning, Dad.
Dad, Matt won't let me eat my breakfast.
Matt, let your sister eat her breakfast.
But her face hurts.
-What? -What? My face doesn't hurt.
I thought it did, because it's killing me!
[CHUCKLING]
You know, it's been going on all morning.
All morning? Try their whole lives.
What are you eating for breakfast? A big bowl of ugly?
Ugh, I'm going to school.
Oh, I'll miss you. Not!
Hey, come on you two, we're a family.
We're supposed to like each other.
But I do like Matt.
I like him when he's not around.
Later.
[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]
Well, I guess this is available.
[BELL RINGING]
Ryan is totally the guy for me.
You're so smart to figure that out, Lizzie.
Flattery goes a long way.
I mean, he's sensitive, he's funny.
I mean, you could tell by the way he played that part
don't you think?
I can't wait to tell him how good he was.
Yeah, I'm sure he'll appreciate it. [CHUCKLES]
So, how do I look? He should be walking by any minute.
I usually see him between classes.
Yeah, you look great.
Except for that you're sweating a little bit.
I am? Where?
[GRUNTS] Look in the mirror.
-Oh, right. -[CHUCKLES]
Oh!
Ow!
Uh, buh-bye.
[GROANS]
Lizzie, are you okay?
Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just help me up.
-Sure. -[LIZZIE GRUNTS]
Ooh, breathe. Ooh, ooh, there's Ryan. Go.
-[GASPS] -[LIZZIE SCREAMS, GROANS]
[CHUCKLES]
Hi.
Uh, hi. Hi.
I, um, um, uh...
Did you want to talk to me?
Um... uh...
I thought I was the one who got bumped on the head.
I, um... um... um...
Yeah. Yes, she... She did.
Uh, we, um...
We saw you in the drama class yesterday and, um,
she just wanted to tell you that you, uh... you were amazing
Amazing? Yeah, she wanted to say that you were amazing.
Amazing. Ryan. Amazing.
Thanks. So, um... Well...
I guess I'll see you guys later.
-[CHUCKLES] -Yeah. Yeah.
Ugh, what is wrong with you? You couldn't even talk to him.
You were totally freaking me out.
You're freaked out?
I just reminded myself of you just now.
Hey!
[SIGHS] This has never happened to me before. What do I do?
Maybe you just got nervous.
Lizzie, this is me you're talking to.
I don't get nervous.
That's you.
Hey again!
Well, maybe you just have to try talking to him again.
See what happens.
I can't. I-I choke. I stammer.
I sweat. I don't sweat.
Whoa, snap out of it.
[SIGHS] Sorry. This love stuff is freaky.
Hey, Matt.
I'm so bored.
Where's Lanny?
Quarantined.
Highly contagious toe infection.
Ugh. What about Oscar?
His family wants him to stay away from me for a week.
He's the one who wanted to see if his skin would prune
if he stood out in the rain all day.
I merely encouraged his curiosity.
So, did it prune?
Uh-uh.
So, uh, where's Lizzie?
With Miranda.
Talking about some boy.
Ugh.
Here I am,
thinking that eavesdropping on my sister would be fun,
but, my bad.
-It's so boring. -I know.
Lizzie and Miranda are my best friends but when they get in that boy mode,
there's, like, no talking to them.
Personally, I don't get why you talk to them at all.
I just wish they were into the same stuff as me.
I like the Monster Truck Roundup.
BOTH: It's coming to town, you know.
Anyway.
[GRUNTS]
Say, how do you do that?
Here, it's easy. Just watch.
Sometimes I think my life would be so much easier
if Lizzie were a guy.
Yeah.
I think my life would be easier if I had an older brother.
You know, someone cool.
Someone fun. Someone who could teach me stuff.
Here, you want to try?
[CHUCKLES]
-Hey. -What?
You and me, you know, we could... hang.
Yeah, I guess.
Sure, why not?
I always knew
you were too cool to be friends with my dorky sister.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay, let's have a practice conversation.
I'm going to be Ryan and you be you, okay?
-I guess. -Okay.
Hey, Miranda, I like your sweater.
Uh, thanks, Lizzie, but this is a T-shirt.
Miranda, I'm Ryan.
Oh, right, right.
Thanks, Ryan. How are you?
I'm doing good.
You know, you should come to one of my plays sometime.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
I'd love to.
See, that wasn't so hard.
No.
Just lame.
Come on, Miranda.
At least you were able to have a conversation with him.
Yeah, because it was you.
Okay, we're going to make this really easy for you.
We're going to write down everything that you have to say to Ryan.
That way, next time you see him you won't be so nervous, okay?
When I'm good, I am really good.
But I'm no good at memorizing.
So, we'll make it short.
Don't worry, it'll be fine, okay?
-Thanks. -Hmm?
"Ryan..."
So, uh, where's your partner in crime?
Oh, Miranda's talking to Ryan.
I thought she got all nervous and sweaty and tongue-tied around him.
She did, until I...
Wait. I thought you said you didn't want to hear any more girl talk.
I don't, but since when do you listen to me?
I listen to you a lot.
-[SIGHS] -Oh, and Matt told me to tell you that
the Monster Truck Roundup has been postponed, or something.
Oh, no. It has?
Are you, like, friends with my little brother now?
Because I got to tell you, Gordo, that's kind of creepy.
What can I say? The kid's got spunk. It's refreshing.
Uh, bye, Ryan. See you tomorrow?
[SQUEALS]
Oh, my gosh. Tell me everything.
No, no. Not everything, please.
Ryan said he wanted to have lunch with me tomorrow.
I knew writing down what to say would work.
You wrote down what she should say?
-He said I have nice eyes. -[GASPING]
You wrote down what she should say?
And when I went on about his smile, he actually blushed.
-[SQUEALS] -You wrote down what she should say?
It's in the name of love.
Get with the program, Gordo.
Yes, Gordo, I wrote out a few words for Miranda to say to Ryan, okay?
But look, now they have a date.
That's... that's... genius.
Like I said, when I'm good, I'm really good.
I told you that you and Ryan would be H&H.
This is so awesome.
Thanks to you. Just meet me here a few minutes
before lunch to go over what we're going to say.
Okay. Wait. What?
I need you to be here without actually being here. Understand?
Finally gets interesting.
I don't know, Miranda.
All you have to do is hide somewhere close
listen to the way the conversation is going
and tell me what to say back to him.
I won't be so nervous if you're here.
Please?
Okay, this is the worst idea I've ever heard.
There is no way I'm doing that.
So, you'll come, right?
Yeah, totally. [CHUCKLES]
He kicks... He scores!
That was awesome.
We've got to invent games more often.
I never do stuff like this with Lizzie.
Of course not.
All this running around would make her "break a nail."
Got that right.
I knew having an older brother would rock. I mean...
I know what you mean.
Come on, let's go get into some trouble.
[GLASS SHATTERING]
Ow! Ooh.
I think I just got stung by something.
Lizzie, get down before someone sees you.
You know it smells in here, Miranda, don't you?
That's what makes you such a good friend.
-Ugh. -Oh, ooh, here comes Ryan.
-My heart's depending on you. -[LIZZIE SCREAMS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hi, Miranda. Thanks for having lunch with me.
Thanks for inviting me.
Please sit.
Uh, please sit.
-Ow! -Ow!
Ooh, I think I just got stung again
Ooh, I think I just got stung again.
I mean how fun again. [CHUCKLES]
-Yeah, this is fun. -Oh, yeah.
Can you hold on one second?
I'm just going to throw this...
Quit fooling around, McGuire. I need you.
I know, I know, but there's, like, a bee in here or something.
[SCOFFS] Come on. Ryan is waiting.
Okay, uh, uh... You look nice.
Oh, thank you.
-Not you! -Oh.
You look nice, Ryan.
Thanks, so do you.
So, how are...
How are... how are...
How are... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
[GASPS]
Are you okay?
-[GASPS, WHIMPERS] -[LIZZIE GASPING]
[SNEEZES]
[YELPS]
[GROANS]
What are you doing here? Why are you hiding in the trash can?
-[CHUCKLES] -[STUTTERING]
Uh, yeah, Lizzie, what are you doing here?
No, I can explain.
Yeah, well I kind of have this thing, uh...
See you later, Miranda.
But, uh...
He hates me!
He'll never speak to me again.
Oh, we'll never go on a second date.
I'll never get a first kiss or... or a wedding!
Come on, Miranda.
All you have to do is go talk to him and tell him the truth. Okay?
It's going to be fine. Not a big... deal.
I can't, Lizzie. I can't be near him.
Bad things happen.
I've got to go.
[GASPS]
[SIGHS]
Oh, hey, Gordo. I thought you left after dinner.
I tried, but Matt challenged me to a game of hacky-basket.
That kid never tires, does he?
Mmm... Have you talked to Miranda?
She's not answering her phone.
Nah, I guess she's still upset about that whole thing with Ryan.
D'oh! Why do I keep talking about that stuff?
I was just trying to help, and now she's all angry at me.
Well, why don't you try talking to Ryan?
Tell him what happened.
There I go again. It's like a disease.
Maybe I should try that.
I could talk to Ryan.
That's a great idea.
Hey, Gordo. I found this web site, it's all about cheese.
Sorry, little man, but I've got to get going.
How about another round of hacky-basket, then?
Matt, do you remember when I was talking to you about responsibility?
Not really.
Look, I've got to go. I've got homework to do
and I've got to pair up my socks. They never seem to match any more.
See, that's what happens
when you start hanging out with M.C. Dorkalot.
You, too become a dork.
You're one to talk, Lil' Dim.
[CHUCKLES]
If you don't want to play hacky-basket,
I'll show you the web site. It's about cheese.
A guy actually built a house out of it.
Wow. Cheese house. How cool.
Wait a second. A guy built a house out of cheese?
What kind of cheese?
Gordo, I was being sarcastic.
They have pictures.
Well, I guess my homework's going to have to wait.
Yes!
[SCOFFS]
Look, Ryan, we need to talk.
Yeah, we do.
Look, the whole reason I was telling Miranda...
-You don't need to explain. -I don't?
Uh-uh. I totally get it.
You do?
Don't be shy around me, Lizzie.
-I like you. -What?
I think it's cute you had Miranda do all the talking for you.
Uh, you've got this all backwards, Ryan.
-See, what we were doing... -[BELL RINGING]
...and that's all we were doing.
I couldn't quite hear everything you said.
Let's pick this up later, okay?
Um, the Digital Bean after school? Later.
Wha...! No, I'm not... I...
[CLEARS THROAT]
Miranda, you are never going to believe what just happened.
How could you do this to me?
What are you talking about? Do what?
I was just explaining to Ryan everything that was going on.
Oh, yeah, that's why Ryan just asked you out?
-Miranda, you don't... -Save it, Lizzie. You've said enough.
And people who believe in me
I got miles and miles of things to see...
[GRUNTING]
Oh, yes! [CHUCKLES]
Okay, four out of five.
Winner gets to short-sheet Lizzie's bed.
Matt, we've been playing this game for five hours.
And my bedtime's not for another three.
Look, we need to have a talk.
I know you're going to find this hard to believe
but I miss Lizzie. Miranda, too.
Hey, you know what? We can glue Lizzie's favorite chips together.
That way, when she goes to open the bag,
they all come out in one big clump. [LAUGHS]
But you've already put peanut butter in her shoes.
Actually, it was jelly,
but I'll remember that peanut butter for next time.
You know, Matt, we've had a lot of fun these past couple of days.
Tons of fun.
The hanging out.
Uh, the hacky-basket.
Cheese house.
But the truth is I really need to start hanging out with Lizzie again.
That's crazy talk.
Come on, let's go see
if there's anything of Lizzie's lying around we can destroy.
Sorry, little buddy, no can do.
She's one of my best friends,
and believe it or not she and I have a lot in common.
But she's so boring.
Look, you're only ten-years-old.
You have plenty of time to do stuff before you become boring.
Invent another game. Learn to juggle.
Build your very own cheese house.
Hey, now you're talking.
Well, I'm going to go now.
But we can still hang out on occasion.
-Really? When? -Whenever.
Mm, tomorrow?
Mm, no.
This weekend?
Mm, no.
How about the next time the Monster Truck Roundup's in town?
Cool.
Ugh, I don't need to be here.
Yes, you do.
Good, you made it. I got us a table, Lizzie.
-Bye. -Miranda, wait.
Lizzie, it's okay.
Like I told you before you don't have to be so shy around me.
Miranda doesn't have to do the talking for you.
Okay, that's it.
Gloves are coming off, walls are coming down.
I'll show you who's shy.
Ryan, look...
Wait, what did you say?
-"Ryan, look"? -Not you. You.
I said you don't have to do the talking for Lizzie any more.
I'm sure she'll find her voice now that everything is out in the open.
Wait a second. In the monologue, you were so much smarter than this.
So insightful and sensitive.
Ah, the curse of the good actor.
People don't see you.
They only see the person you're playing.
You know what? I think that's been my problem.
I didn't fall for you.
I fell for the guy you were playing.
Love is so complicated.
Wait a minute. You're the one that likes me?
Let's make that "liked."
You know what, now that I think about it,
that whole crush thing doesn't even work for me.
I get all jittery and sweaty all the time.
-Who wants that? -[LAUGHS]
Well, I'm sorry you feel that way
but, you know, I'm happy to give you an autograph.
Later.
Hey, Miranda.
Can you make up your mind
if you like someone before I climb in a garbage can?
[CHUCKLES] Sorry.
By the way, even if Ryan were the guy for me,
I should have never let him come between us.
-I'm sorry. -It's okay. We're friends.
And even if we get in a fight, and you walk away from me
you'll always know where to find me, okay?
Right here.
-Let's go find Gordo. -Oh, cool, yeah.
GORDO: I can't believe that after all that drama,
your crush on Ryan is actually over.
And I can't believe you're still talking about it.
He's making up for lost time.
I guess.
Let's just say that you two guys
aren't half as bad as the stuff you talk about constantly.
-[SCOFFS] -It's good to be back.
So, anyone hungry?
-Oh, me. -Me, too.
There's some chips in the kitchen. Let's go.
I don't think you want to eat the chips.
Why not?
Mm, never mind.
MALE CREW MEMBER: Two mark. FEMALE CREW MEMBER: One.
-[SPEAKING GIBBERISH] -[LAUGHS]
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
[CHUCKLES]
[YELPS]
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
What is this about?
[ALL LAUGHING]
[LAUGHS]
Okay, that's it.
Gloves are coming off, walls are coming down.
I'll show you who's shy.
Very funny, guys.
Let's go see... [LAUGHING]
[CREW LAUGHING]
MALE CREW MEMBER: Cut.
[IMITATING RYAN] Hey, Miranda, you know, I like your sweater.
-Uh, thanks, Lizzie. -[LAUGHING]
-I'm so sorry! -I thought...
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]