1
00:00:01,830 --> 00:00:03,760
I was watching this
spy movie last night,

2
00:00:03,830 --> 00:00:05,030
and it got me thinking.

3
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:07,530
Why do supervillains always
want to take over the world?

4
00:00:07,660 --> 00:00:09,600
Well, I think it would be kind
of cool to rule the world.

5
00:00:09,730 --> 00:00:11,630
I mean, you could meet
any celebrity you wanted.

6
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,830
I could pass a new law making
Ethan Craft worship me.

7
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,300
And I guess I could feed
starving people or something.

8
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,960
-[CAT MEOWS]
-But Ethan Craft would be job one.

9
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:23,030
You'd have to be
in charge of everything.

10
00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:25,400
What if the electricity
went out in Stockholm?

11
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,460
Or there's a mud slide in Argentina?

12
00:00:27,530 --> 00:00:29,830
Or Thailand's being infested
with aphids?

13
00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:31,030
I mean what do you do?

14
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:33,400
I never thought of it that way, Gordo.

15
00:00:33,460 --> 00:00:35,630
Well, luckily, I don't want
to rule the world.

16
00:00:35,730 --> 00:00:38,030
I want to be a singer
on a cruise ship.

17
00:00:38,130 --> 00:00:39,900
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

18
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,300
Hey, kids.

19
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,230
Lizzie, you got a package
from Gammy McGuire.

20
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,930
Ugh, excellent.

21
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,900
My grandmother can't remember
when my birthday is,

22
00:00:48,030 --> 00:00:49,960
so she just sends me stuff
every couple of months,

23
00:00:50,030 --> 00:00:51,200
just to make sure.

24
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:53,000
Ooh, maybe it's that scarf you wanted,

25
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:56,030
or those cool rhinestone
sunglasses or that jewelry box.

26
00:01:00,030 --> 00:01:01,700
Dwarflord: The Conquest?

27
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:05,300
Or it could, you know, reek.

28
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,300
"The game of dragon
monarchs and Dwarf warriors."

29
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,600
Like I said.

30
00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:11,660
"Imagine you're an exiled dwarflord,

31
00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:13,400
"seeking to reclaim your kingdom,

32
00:01:13,460 --> 00:01:16,460
"stolen by an evil wizard
and guarded by his dragon slave."

33
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:20,730
Hey! You're not throwing
your gift away.

34
00:01:21,260 --> 00:01:23,300
Why not? Didn't you hear
about the dwarflords?

35
00:01:24,230 --> 00:01:26,200
I want you to play it
at least one time,

36
00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:28,630
and then if you don't like it,
we're gonna donate it to charity.

37
00:01:28,730 --> 00:01:29,800
Fine. I'll play it.

38
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,300
Come on, Gordo and Miranda,
let's get this over with.

39
00:01:32,430 --> 00:01:35,860
Oh, I got to go home and clean fish.

40
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:39,530
See, my dad went fishing,
so I have to go home and gut them.

41
00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:41,900
Yeah, and I'm gonna go home
and try and grow a mustache.

42
00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:44,330
I've been meaning to.

43
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,430
Miranda, I let you borrow my blue top,

44
00:01:45,530 --> 00:01:48,260
and you got deviled eggs
all over it. Okay? You owe me.

45
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,100
All right, all right.

46
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,760
And, Gordo, if you don't play,
I'll tell everyone

47
00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:55,030
what you did at Dakota Himmelfarb's
fourth of July party.

48
00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:57,060
You know, with the mustard?

49
00:01:57,130 --> 00:01:59,200
Hey, what are we
wasting time yakking for?

50
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:00,800
Let's play Dwarflord.

51
00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:04,860
Dear Gammy McGuire, thank you so much
for the cool present.

52
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,360
Next time, please send cash.

53
00:02:08,660 --> 00:02:11,000
[THEME SONG PLAYING]

54
00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:54,460
Okay, Lizzie, you're in the Seventh
Room of Discovery,

55
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,060
so you have to roll the Dream Dice

56
00:02:56,130 --> 00:02:59,600
and "The Toe Bone
of Rumba Peter Goblin Beater."

57
00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:02,360
But, I thought I could get out
of the Seventh Room of Discovery

58
00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:04,630
by getting a Wish Feather
from a moon cat.

59
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:08,660
Let's see... Lodestones...
troll blessings...

60
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,130
Oh, here it is.

61
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,530
It says if you don't roll
the Toe Bone,

62
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,960
you have to cross the bridge
of ultimate darkness

63
00:03:15,030 --> 00:03:17,560
and spend your wish feather
on insanity syrup.

64
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:19,600
[SIGHS]

65
00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:21,730
Whatever happened to hide-and-go-seek?

66
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,960
Simple game, you know,
count to 50, then go hide...

67
00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:27,830
ideally with Ethan Craft
on a yacht.

68
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:31,130
We've been playing this game
for 20 minutes now. Okay?

69
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,530
Gammy McGuire's gift
has been... enjoyed.

70
00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:36,400
You guys just want to quit
'cause I'm winning.

71
00:03:36,530 --> 00:03:38,700
You are? How can you tell?

72
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,800
Well, I've acquired the 13 skulls,

73
00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:42,200
and you know what that means.

74
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:45,700
No, I really don't. Nor do I care.

75
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,300
Well I can trade them in
for a shape-shifting button.

76
00:03:48,430 --> 00:03:50,630
I'd turn into the dragon Monarch.

77
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,860
Then I'd need to get an inferno robe
and a smoke shield.

78
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,100
Mall?

79
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:57,260
You bet.

80
00:03:58,460 --> 00:03:59,960
All right, all right, I-I'll come.

81
00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:02,160
[CHUCKLES]

82
00:04:02,330 --> 00:04:03,600
Bye, mom. Bye, dad.

83
00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,230
-Bye, honey.
-Bye, honey.

84
00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:11,830
Mom, Dad, I need a ride to the docks.

85
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,030
How come, champ?

86
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:14,500
To check out some wharf rats.

87
00:04:15,830 --> 00:04:19,160
Are you talking about colorful
waterfront characters named

88
00:04:19,230 --> 00:04:22,330
"Captain Salty" or are you talking
about actual disease-carrying rodents?

89
00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:25,330
The actual disease-carrying rodents.

90
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,260
I'm studying wildlife for school.

91
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,900
Well, you're not studying rats,
young man.

92
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,200
Okay.

93
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,700
Well, I'm gonna go ride
my bike up to the hills

94
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,560
to check out some rattlesnake nests.
See you at dinner.

95
00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:39,860
Hey, come here, Indiana Jones.

96
00:04:39,930 --> 00:04:42,560
You can study nature
right here, at home.

97
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,230
But there isn't any here.

98
00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:46,660
Dad killed all the fire ants
with spray,

99
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:50,260
trapped all the mice and hosed away
all the wasp nests.

100
00:04:50,730 --> 00:04:52,760
Sam! How could you?

101
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:54,960
What? You want fire ants?

102
00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:59,560
Hey, there is a bird's nest
in the oak tree in the backyard.

103
00:04:59,630 --> 00:05:02,260
Well quick, go study before
your dad cuts the tree down.

104
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:06,500
Good idea. I bet he's just itching
to chop that puppy down.

105
00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:11,230
So, Digital Bean after school?

106
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,760
I-I can't make it.

107
00:05:12,860 --> 00:05:13,860
Why, what are you doing?

108
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:15,160
Playing Dwarflord.

109
00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:17,730
[LAUGHS] No, really,
what are you doing?

110
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,330
I'm playing Dwarflord.

111
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:22,600
Why on earth would you want
to do that?

112
00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:23,730
'Cause I liked it,

113
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,630
and it turns out there's a Dwarf tribe
right here on campus.

114
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:29,730
Really? Do they get
like special parking or anything?

115
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,830
A Dwarf tribe is a what you call
a group of people

116
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:34,100
who get together and the game
on a regular basis.

117
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,460
I thought the name for that was...

118
00:05:36,930 --> 00:05:39,800
You just don't understand it.
It's more of a guy's game.

119
00:05:39,900 --> 00:05:42,330
The epic struggle of good versus evil,

120
00:05:42,430 --> 00:05:43,530
the intricate strategies,

121
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,530
the mighty deeds of fearsome warriors.

122
00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:48,360
Hail, Gordo Glimmerfoe.

123
00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:50,830
The tribe salutes
its newest questling.

124
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,400
TOGETHER: Huzzah!

125
00:05:54,260 --> 00:05:56,700
Farewell and good luck,
Gordo Hammertoe.

126
00:05:56,830 --> 00:05:58,530
Yeah, have fun storming the castle.

127
00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:00,900
A thousand thanks, Maidens fair.

128
00:06:01,030 --> 00:06:02,660
You know, they're making fun of us.

129
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,100
They are?

130
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,430
Fine.

131
00:06:10,930 --> 00:06:12,100
[BOTH SHRIEK]

132
00:06:13,530 --> 00:06:14,660
That ought to show 'em.

133
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,200
ALL: Huzzah!

134
00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:20,230
Ugh! What was that?

135
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,400
This is boring.

136
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:32,160
No, it isn't. This is the whole
miracle of nature at work.

137
00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:35,300
This is... life renewing itself.

138
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:40,100
This is the universe unfolding
according to a grand plan.

139
00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:42,560
And it's boring.

140
00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:46,130
Hey, mighty bird-watchers!
I brought you some snacks.

141
00:06:46,260 --> 00:06:48,560
Oh, great. I'll come
right down and get them.

142
00:06:48,630 --> 00:06:50,560
That's okay. You don't have to.
I can toss it up to you.

143
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,900
No, no, no, that's way too dangerous.

144
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,360
I'll come right down and get them.

145
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,930
Hey, where you going, sweetie?

146
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:03,760
Um... bathroom, yeah.

147
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,500
He's not coming back, is he?

148
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,230
I wouldn't count on it.

149
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:10,430
Here's your juice.

150
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,500
Ah.

151
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,000
Anybody home?

152
00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:16,760
Hey, Sam, Edward Sanchez is here.

153
00:07:16,830 --> 00:07:17,830
[SIGHS] Oh.

154
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:19,330
Standing right next to me.

155
00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:21,160
Oh! [CHUCKLES]

156
00:07:21,330 --> 00:07:25,160
Hey, Eduardo, remember that
15 bucks I borrowed from you?

157
00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,630
I just keep forgetting
to give it back.

158
00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:29,560
Ah, forget about that. I have.

159
00:07:29,630 --> 00:07:30,830
Oh.

160
00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:32,400
I brought back Sam's hedge trimmer.

161
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,400
My topiary's turning out well.

162
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,330
What's Sam doing in the tree?

163
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,130
Oh, it's a school project for Matt.

164
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,030
In fact would you take this up to him?

165
00:07:41,130 --> 00:07:42,400
I'm afraid he's gonna die of thirst.

166
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:45,060
Oh sure. Coming right up, Sam.

167
00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:46,260
Righty-o!

168
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:49,900
-[EDWARD GRUNTS]
-Thanks.

169
00:07:55,430 --> 00:07:57,130
Hey, a bird's nest!

170
00:07:57,230 --> 00:07:59,400
Yeah, sparrows, I think.

171
00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:01,900
You want some protein bar?

172
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,260
Ah, thanks.

173
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,230
Wait! Don't hog all the juice!

174
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:08,960
Sorry. Let me have some
of that protein bar.

175
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:11,430
[PHONE RINGING]

176
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:13,430
Hello?

177
00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:15,230
Hey, do you understand
this English homework?

178
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:17,830
I understand that
it's a pain in the rear.

179
00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:19,330
I guess we could go down
to the library

180
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,500
and check out some reference books.
Or we could...

181
00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:22,600
Call Gordo!

182
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:25,760
[DIALING]

183
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,260
ALL: Huzzah!

184
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,130
[PHONE RINGING]

185
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:33,430
Gordo.

186
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,260
Hey, explain prepositional phrases.

187
00:08:36,330 --> 00:08:38,060
Sorry, I'm kind of busy right now.

188
00:08:38,130 --> 00:08:40,400
This is your homework hour.
What are you doing?

189
00:08:40,930 --> 00:08:43,160
Um... nothing special.

190
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,360
The hour of magic is upon us.

191
00:08:45,430 --> 00:08:47,160
Are you playing that
munchkin game again?

192
00:08:47,630 --> 00:08:49,030
Yea. And I'm about to vanquish

193
00:08:49,100 --> 00:08:50,830
the winged werewolf
to the eighth vortex,

194
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:53,360
so I can't really help you
with your prepositions right now.

195
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,100
Is that Lizzie and Miranda?

196
00:08:57,930 --> 00:08:59,200
[ELECTRICAL BUZZING]

197
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,100
Look, I have to roll the Toe Bone.
I'll see you guys later.

198
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:05,960
I'm a little worried about this.

199
00:09:06,060 --> 00:09:08,730
Me too. You know how Gordo
obsesses about things.

200
00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:10,760
I mean, I'm worried about
how we're gonna get

201
00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:13,300
this homework done.
My mom's working tonight,

202
00:09:13,430 --> 00:09:15,860
and my dad's up
in a tree with your dad.

203
00:09:16,030 --> 00:09:18,060
Well, I'm worried about Gordo.

204
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,900
He's way too interested in this game.
And Tudgeman plays it.

205
00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:22,530
That puts a red flag up right there.

206
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:25,000
He's gonna lose interest
in it eventually,

207
00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,760
just like his carrier pigeons.

208
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,760
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

209
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,230
He didn't lose interest
in his pigeons.

210
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,730
A cat developed an interest in them.

211
00:09:35,930 --> 00:09:38,800
I hope you're right, but I'm gonna
keep an eye on him.

212
00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:44,060
So, are we gonna study together?

213
00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:45,800
I can't. I've got other plans.

214
00:09:47,130 --> 00:09:50,560
Oh, Princess Candlewick,
I figured out the circle stone code.

215
00:09:51,830 --> 00:09:53,730
Oh, my gosh!

216
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:56,400
Now we can get
into the dragon chamber.

217
00:09:56,460 --> 00:09:59,000
And then we can battle
the man with the iron fist

218
00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:02,830
after we go through
the eighth vortex twice.

219
00:10:03,860 --> 00:10:05,960
-Hey, Gordo.
-Hmm.

220
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:08,760
-We thought we'd have lunch with you.
-Hmm.

221
00:10:08,830 --> 00:10:11,130
There's ground-up eyeballs
in the chili today.

222
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,360
Hmm.

223
00:10:13,430 --> 00:10:14,460
Gordo!

224
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:16,660
[GASPS]

225
00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:21,500
Yikes! Okay, I see
what the problem is.

226
00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:24,560
Gordo died a few weeks ago
and didn't bother to tell us.

227
00:10:25,060 --> 00:10:28,630
Gordo, what's with the dark circles?
You look like a raccoon.

228
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,530
Have you been getting
any sleep at all?

229
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:31,660
GORDO: No time.

230
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:34,760
I'm this close to solving
the riddle of the silver hammer.

231
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,230
And where's your lunch?

232
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,400
I told you silver hammer!

233
00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:41,160
-Quit being a nag worm.
-But...

234
00:10:41,230 --> 00:10:44,730
Yeah, Lizzie, quit being
such a nag worm! Sheesh!

235
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,630
Hey, McG, sorry I ragged
on you the other day.

236
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:07,800
I was out of line.

237
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,760
Oh, it's okay. I was just worried
about you. You have to eat.

238
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:12,260
I know. I know.

239
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,800
That's why I was hoping, maybe,
I could borrow a couple bucks

240
00:11:14,860 --> 00:11:16,160
and get a turkey burger?

241
00:11:16,230 --> 00:11:17,800
You don't have any money?

242
00:11:17,860 --> 00:11:19,060
Did you spend all your cash

243
00:11:19,130 --> 00:11:21,260
on those stupid dwarf
game-card thingies?

244
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:24,130
Yeah, yeah, I wasn't thinking clearly.

245
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:26,060
That's why a turkey burger
would be good, you know.

246
00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:27,260
I'd get some food in me.

247
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,130
[SIGHS] Okay.

248
00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:34,000
Here. And get some sleep, too.
Okay? You're falling apart.

249
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,630
Yeah, yeah I will. Thanks. See ya.

250
00:11:41,530 --> 00:11:44,600
Hey, still got the golden edition
dragon monarch card?

251
00:11:45,260 --> 00:11:46,460
Got the money?

252
00:11:52,230 --> 00:11:53,260
BOTH: Huzzah!

253
00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:00,360
Not bad, B-plus.

254
00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:02,360
Me too. The only one I got wrong was,

255
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:03,660
"Where's the English Channel?"

256
00:12:03,730 --> 00:12:05,300
I thought it was next to E-S-P-N.

257
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:07,630
How about you, Gordo?

258
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,930
Oh, I got an "A."

259
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,500
Glimmerfoe, join us.

260
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,330
Princess Candlewick has acquired
the alabaster dragon egg.

261
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:16,760
Oh, cool!

262
00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:21,830
We've lost Gordo.
He's obsessed with Dwarflord.

263
00:12:22,730 --> 00:12:24,100
It's worse than that.

264
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,260
Gordo got an "F."

265
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,660
Okay, I'm here. Let's play.

266
00:12:39,730 --> 00:12:41,730
-Where are your game pieces?
-We don't have any.

267
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,600
Your message said
you wanted to play Dwarflord.

268
00:12:43,660 --> 00:12:45,000
You said you wanted me to teach you.

269
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:47,730
Yeah, well, there's a simple
explanation for that.

270
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:48,830
We lied.

271
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,860
Just like you've been lying
about your grades

272
00:12:50,930 --> 00:12:52,830
and what you've been doing
with your lunch money.

273
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:55,200
Oh, I'm sorry. I mean my lunch money.

274
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:56,460
Fine. You don't want me to borrow

275
00:12:56,530 --> 00:12:58,030
your lunch money anymore? I won't.

276
00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,460
That's not it, Gordo.

277
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,660
We just don't want you to play
Dwarflord anymore.

278
00:13:01,730 --> 00:13:03,460
Okay? It's taken over your life.

279
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,460
-It has not.
-Has so!

280
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,400
I swear on the sacred shield
of Owen Thunder Eater,

281
00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:09,800
it has not!

282
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,500
All right, maybe that
didn't sound so good,

283
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,060
but I know what I'm doing.

284
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:16,300
We don't think you do.

285
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,900
We want you to go back to normal.
We want you to stop.

286
00:13:19,030 --> 00:13:20,030
No.

287
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,360
Look, I can stop playing
any time I want to,

288
00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,700
but I'm not going to
just because you say so.

289
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:25,930
I'm outta here.

290
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:33,200
Man, that's one bad Dwarflord jones.

291
00:13:33,830 --> 00:13:35,030
What do you know about it?

292
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:38,560
It's a cool game, but it can
take you down a bad road.

293
00:13:38,630 --> 00:13:41,760
Last year, Lanny was
seriously on the Dwarf.

294
00:13:41,860 --> 00:13:44,000
Spent all his money
on collectors' cards,

295
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:46,360
talked nonstop about his characters.

296
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:49,530
That Dwarflord is bad medicine.

297
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:51,860
Ah, I just hope he can get over it.

298
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:54,660
You can hope. And you can hope
a grizzly bear doesn't eat you

299
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,360
if you rub yourself with bacon.

300
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:59,800
Gordo's a dwarfhead. He needs help.

301
00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:01,560
So will you help him?

302
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:05,360
[SIGHS] It won't be easy.

303
00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:08,830
It will be intense... it will be ugly.

304
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:11,530
But, Gordo helped me that time

305
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,430
I got my head stuck in the banister.

306
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:15,800
[SCREAMING]

307
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,030
I owe him one.

308
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,030
I hate to bother you,
but I really think Edward

309
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:27,400
left his cellphone at home
on purpose so I couldn't call him.

310
00:14:27,460 --> 00:14:28,730
[JO CHUCKLES]

311
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:31,160
Edward, your wife is here.

312
00:14:31,230 --> 00:14:32,260
[SIGHING] Oh.

313
00:14:33,030 --> 00:14:34,560
Standing right next to me.

314
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:35,830
Oh!

315
00:14:35,900 --> 00:14:39,300
Edward, you've been over here
for four hours now.

316
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,860
Remember, you promised
to clean the rain gutters.

317
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,860
I want to watch the eggs!

318
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:47,000
I really think it's time
for you to come home now.

319
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,030
No.

320
00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:50,230
<i>Eduardo, vamanos!</i>

321
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,760
<i>No quiero.</i>

322
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,560
Sam, maybe you oughta come down, too.

323
00:14:54,730 --> 00:14:56,860
I don't wanna.
Just give us our potato chips.

324
00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:59,200
All right, I'll come up there.

325
00:14:59,300 --> 00:15:01,100
No! No girls allowed.

326
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:02,200
Yeah!

327
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,300
Hey, you wanna go to the day spa?

328
00:15:04,430 --> 00:15:07,030
Sure! I've got Edward's credit card.

329
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,400
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

330
00:15:11,130 --> 00:15:12,930
Just as I thought,

331
00:15:13,030 --> 00:15:16,430
they've posted sentries
outside the game chamber.

332
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,360
These are hard-core Dwarfites.

333
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,700
Miranda, you know what to do.

334
00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:28,730
Hi!

335
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,000
Hi.

336
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,960
-That's a really great outfit.
-Really?

337
00:15:34,030 --> 00:15:35,930
Yeah, I've always
had a thing for, uh...

338
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,900
what are you again?

339
00:15:38,030 --> 00:15:39,900
Half-elf, half-badger.

340
00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:41,860
For one of those!

341
00:15:41,930 --> 00:15:43,630
Hmm, pitter-patter.

342
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:44,930
Oh, listen, could you show me

343
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:47,860
where the nearest water fountain is?
I'm feeling kind of warm.

344
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,960
A quest I would fain
undertake, fair damsel.

345
00:15:51,130 --> 00:15:52,200
Yeah-huh.

346
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,460
I won my spurs in the gremlin wars

347
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,230
of the 12th dimension when...

348
00:15:59,660 --> 00:16:00,860
[SCREAMS]

349
00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:07,830
You're half-elf, half-badger.

350
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,700
You won your spurs
in the gremlin wars.

351
00:16:09,830 --> 00:16:11,200
[SCOFFS] I wish I had time for a bath.

352
00:16:11,330 --> 00:16:12,900
I smell like a petting zoo.

353
00:16:14,630 --> 00:16:16,660
A great thirst grows upon me.

354
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,230
The wizard of the Wood Glen
craves a break.

355
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,600
Princess Candlewick,
prepare the dwarf brew.

356
00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,030
How are we supposed to get
Gordo out of there?

357
00:16:26,130 --> 00:16:30,330
That dwarf brew they're drinking?
It's a strong iced tea.

358
00:16:30,460 --> 00:16:34,130
Gordo Glimmerfoe's gonna need
a pit stop anytime now.

359
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:37,330
Okay, here's what we do.

360
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,830
It's off to the watering trench,
my half-badger brethren.

361
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:48,200
Ah! You're tickling me!

362
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,360
GORDO: Don't jostle me!
I have to go to the bathroom!

363
00:16:52,460 --> 00:16:53,860
MATT: Careful! We're losing it!

364
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:55,230
[GORDO SCREAMS]

365
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,400
This isn't helping
the bathroom situation at all!

366
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:01,100
Glimmerfoe?

367
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,730
Art thou still in the toilet?

368
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,430
What are you doing to me?

369
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,230
We're helping you.

370
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:10,260
How is this helping me?

371
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,400
-Dwarflord!
-Ow!

372
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:14,030
-Dwarflord!
-Ow!

373
00:17:14,430 --> 00:17:15,630
-Dwarflord!
-Ow!

374
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,700
This is aversion therapy.

375
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,200
The thing you like causes you pain.

376
00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:22,630
Therefore, you don't like it anymore.

377
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,400
What are the wires for?

378
00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:27,000
Well, the wires are for
absolutely nothing.

379
00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:29,130
They just look pretty cool.

380
00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:31,530
Well, if you don't cut this out,
I'm gonna cause you pain.

381
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:35,030
Okay! Moving on to the next step.

382
00:17:35,860 --> 00:17:36,860
Ow!

383
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:39,160
I just wanted to do one.
It looked fun.

384
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,160
Why are you doing this?

385
00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:43,060
Because we want you back
the way you were.

386
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:44,160
Back in the old days,

387
00:17:44,260 --> 00:17:47,500
when you ate and slept
and talked like a normal person.

388
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,560
Maybe I just like Dwarflord.

389
00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:51,700
Well, maybe you do,
but if you don't change,

390
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:52,930
you're gonna end up like this.

391
00:17:53,130 --> 00:17:56,630
Alvin Steck, he's a regional
Dwarflord champion.

392
00:17:56,700 --> 00:18:00,000
He's 36 years old, and he lives
in his mother's basement.

393
00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:02,960
He works part time
at a barbershop, sweeping up hair.

394
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:05,660
He hasn't had a date
since his junior prom.

395
00:18:05,830 --> 00:18:06,960
He took his cousin.

396
00:18:07,730 --> 00:18:09,460
His whole life is Dwarflord.

397
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,330
He missed out on swimsuit
calendars, curly fries,

398
00:18:12,430 --> 00:18:14,130
and souped-up motorcycles.

399
00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:16,060
Don't miss out, Gordo.

400
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,460
[OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

401
00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,830
Ah! Enough, enough, enough!

402
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,560
French fries, French fries...
give me French fries.

403
00:19:02,130 --> 00:19:03,600
Hmmm.

404
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:05,160
How about we go
to the lake tomorrow?

405
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:07,800
And Matt you wanna watch
a basketball game tomorrow night?

406
00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:10,230
-Is there ketchup?
-No!

407
00:19:11,260 --> 00:19:13,030
[CHUCKLING]

408
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:16,960
The crisis has passed.
My work here's done.

409
00:19:22,430 --> 00:19:23,960
You know what's really good?

410
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:26,100
When you mix Sugaros
and Marshmallow Puffies.

411
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,460
Very good combination.

412
00:19:27,530 --> 00:19:30,200
I say, we do the mall today,
and we can save the lake

413
00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:31,900
for next week,
when it's supposed to be warmer.

414
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:33,960
Gordo's back!

415
00:19:34,030 --> 00:19:36,560
I mean, he still obsesses about stuff,

416
00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:40,000
but at least it's good stuff,
like sports and junk food...

417
00:19:40,130 --> 00:19:41,960
And helping me with my homework.

418
00:19:43,430 --> 00:19:44,860
Sounds good to me, Gordo.

419
00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:47,900
And when we're at the beach,
we can get curly fries.

420
00:19:49,860 --> 00:19:51,360
-Dwarflord!
-Ow!

421
00:19:51,430 --> 00:19:52,600
Just checking.

422
00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:55,500
Hey! Everybody! Come quick!

423
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:56,600
EDWARD: Yes, hurry!

424
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,330
Come on! The eggs are hatching!

425
00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:02,560
[EDWARD STUTTERS] Hurry!

426
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:05,360
Their little beaks
are breaking through.

427
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:08,660
We're fathers! [BREATHING HEAVILY]

428
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,630
SAM: Kids, you should really see this.

429
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:13,400
Nature is such a miracle.

430
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:18,200
Uh... you guys ready
to go to the mall?

431
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,260
Sounds good.

432
00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:21,830
Ah, the mall. No trolls, no wizards.

433
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:24,760
Just cinnamon buns,
the arcade, and you guys.

434
00:20:24,830 --> 00:20:26,030
Thanks for pulling me back.

435
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,400
[CHUCKLES] Sure. But,

436
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:30,400
[IMITATES A WIZARD] now you get
to pay for the cinnamon buns!

437
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,360
[CHUCKLING]

438
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,430
Look! One's poking its head out.
And it's black.

439
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:40,900
-[CROWS CAWING]
-They're crows...

440
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,430
cute, little crows.

441
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:43,930
-[SHELLS CRACKING]
-[CAWING]

442
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,800
Hey, that must be the mother.

443
00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:47,600
-[CAWS LOUDLY]
-Looks like she's in a hurry.

444
00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:49,830
She looks... angry.

445
00:20:49,930 --> 00:20:51,300
-Oh-oh!
-[SCREAMS]

446
00:20:51,430 --> 00:20:54,060
[CAWING ANGRILY]

447
00:20:56,730 --> 00:20:58,500
Oh, I'll go get some ice packs.

448
00:21:02,530 --> 00:21:04,060
Is my school project done yet?

449
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:06,300
Yeah, it's done.

450
00:21:07,430 --> 00:21:08,900
I think I sprained my shoulder.

451
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,100
Cool! My next project is first aid.

452
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,060
-Does that hurt?
-Ow!

453
00:21:14,730 --> 00:21:15,930
-That?
-Ow!

454
00:21:16,030 --> 00:21:17,100
<i>-How about this?</i>
<i>-Ow!</i>

455
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,560
<i>-That?</i>
<i>-Son.</i>

456
00:21:19,430 --> 00:21:20,830
MALE CREW: Stay on the mark.

457
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:27,560
Stop that! [CHUCKLES]

458
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:30,860
MALE CREW: And... uh-oh.

459
00:21:30,930 --> 00:21:32,460
-[CREW LAUGHING]
-Cut it!

460
00:21:34,260 --> 00:21:36,530
Could you show me where the nearest...

461
00:21:36,660 --> 00:21:39,030
You want I should rough him up...
[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

462
00:21:39,260 --> 00:21:40,660
[CREW LAUGHING]

463
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,930
Yo, Savage, are you watching this?

464
00:21:43,030 --> 00:21:44,030
[CREW LAUGHING]

465
00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:47,660
I could pass a new law making
Ethan Craft worship me.

466
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,660
-[CAT MEOWING]
-Oops.

467
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,300
[SNEEZES LOUDLY]

468
00:21:53,100 --> 00:21:55,260
So the twelfth dimension...

469
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:57,300
[GRUNTS] Unhand me...

470
00:21:57,460 --> 00:22:00,900
-[GRUNTING]
-[CREW LAUGHING]

471
00:22:01,030 --> 00:22:01,960
MALE CREW: Cut it.

472
00:22:03,230 --> 00:22:06,360
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]