1
00:00:00,060 --> 00:00:01,260
Mail's here.

2
00:00:02,430 --> 00:00:03,430
Here you go.

3
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,730
[SARCASTICALLY] Oh, goodie.
Property tax bill.

4
00:00:06,900 --> 00:00:08,860
Matt got something from Gammy McGuire.

5
00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:12,200
It's all junk. Junk, junk, junk.

6
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,360
Cool!

7
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:16,200
A $50 gift certificate
for my birthday!

8
00:00:16,330 --> 00:00:18,430
But your birthday
was seven months ago.

9
00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:19,930
Gammy got him a baseball glove, right?

10
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,930
Your mother sends him birthday
presents every six weeks now.

11
00:00:23,130 --> 00:00:25,200
She's getting a little fuzzy
around the edges.

12
00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:27,630
Hey, Mom, can I be a model?

13
00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:30,200
[SARCASTICALLY] Sure, and I can be
President of the moon.

14
00:00:30,260 --> 00:00:32,200
Fine, as long as you move there.

15
00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,300
[MATT SCOFFS]

16
00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,800
<i>Teen Attitude</i> magazine

17
00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:36,730
is putting on a fashion show
at Cielo Drive.

18
00:00:36,830 --> 00:00:39,830
If I get picked, I get $500 worth
of free merchandise.

19
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,060
If I say yes,

20
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:43,300
will you stop picking on your brother
and do all your homework?

21
00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:45,660
Pfft. Like that's gonna happen.

22
00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:47,300
Sure. [CHUCKLES]

23
00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:50,130
This is <i>so</i> cool.
I'm going to be a model.

24
00:00:50,230 --> 00:00:51,360
I get 50 bucks.

25
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,630
[THEME SONG PLAYING]

26
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,330
LIZZIE: <i>So they just had me walk down</i>
<i>the catwalk and spin around twice.</i>

27
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:43,660
GORDO: <i>Let me get this straight.</i>

28
00:01:43,730 --> 00:01:45,430
<i>You're going to be in a fashion show?</i>

29
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:48,360
Yep. And I get $500 worth
of free merchandise.

30
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,530
Five hundred simoleons?

31
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:52,330
Why didn't you tell me
about this thing?

32
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:54,930
I didn't think you'd be
very interested in a fashion show.

33
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,000
I wouldn't be.

34
00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:59,660
But for 500 skins I'd volunteer
for scientific experiments.

35
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,930
-[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
-[DOG GROWLING]

36
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:03,900
I thought to be a model,

37
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,400
you had to scowl and stomp around
like you own the place.

38
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,530
No, I just walked.

39
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,160
They said I looked like a nice,
typical 13-year-old girl.

40
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:12,260
You <i>are</i> a nice,
typical 13-year-old girl.

41
00:02:12,530 --> 00:02:13,700
Thanks a lot, Gordo.

42
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,900
What's next?
I got a great personality?

43
00:02:16,230 --> 00:02:18,460
Well, for once being typical
is finally paying off.

44
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,000
-That's good Milk it.
-[LIZZIE GASPS]

45
00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:22,000
Whoa, Mr. Dig, where'd you come from?

46
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,730
Well, my family's
originally from Tobago

47
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,300
but I was born
in East Lansing, Michigan.

48
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,930
Go, Wolverines. [LAUGHS]

49
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:28,760
So, you heard Lizzie's
going to be a model?

50
00:02:28,930 --> 00:02:32,830
And I give her the same advice I gave
supermodel Colette Romana.

51
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,460
I told her you have a natural gift.

52
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:38,260
Share it with the world
and the world will love you.

53
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,530
Colette Romana. True story.

54
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:43,230
Um, I've never heard
of Colette Romana.

55
00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:45,530
Well, that's because on
her first photo shoot in Nairobi

56
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,530
a zebra sat on her head
and broke her face.

57
00:02:48,830 --> 00:02:50,330
Could have been famous. Tragic.

58
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,900
Um, Mr. Dig, I don't think
you need to be famous to be happy.

59
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:54,960
Oh, boy, please.

60
00:02:55,030 --> 00:02:56,830
You don't have to be tall
to play in the NBA.

61
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,660
You don't have to be funny-looking
to be the Queen of England.

62
00:02:58,730 --> 00:03:01,230
You don't have to be 700 pounds
to be a Sumo wrestler.

63
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:02,300
But it helps.

64
00:03:03,130 --> 00:03:04,760
Stay away from zebras.

65
00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:06,460
Peace.

66
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,930
Shouldn't teachers be telling us
that fame and money aren't important

67
00:03:12,030 --> 00:03:14,500
and that we should focus on
being good people?

68
00:03:14,630 --> 00:03:16,600
Uh, he's just a substitute.

69
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:18,360
I guess he's allowed
to tell us the truth.

70
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:26,000
So, I can get anything I want
with my gift certificate?

71
00:03:26,100 --> 00:03:27,700
As long as it doesn't produce flame.

72
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:28,860
Or make loud noises.

73
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,130
Or hurt when I step on it.

74
00:03:30,730 --> 00:03:31,730
Roger that.

75
00:03:32,230 --> 00:03:34,360
Man, look at all this cool stuff.

76
00:03:34,630 --> 00:03:36,060
What should I get, Lanny?

77
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,100
Lanny?

78
00:03:39,830 --> 00:03:41,800
Hey, that's a great idea.

79
00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:43,400
I've always wanted one of these.

80
00:03:44,630 --> 00:03:47,760
Three thousand dollars?

81
00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:49,330
Come on, Lanny.

82
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,060
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
We better keep looking.

83
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,200
Lanny, come on.

84
00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:55,830
[STRAINING] Let's go, Lanny.

85
00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,500
[HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHING]

86
00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:28,460
[IMITATING DR.EVIL]
I shall call him Mini-me.

87
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,330
[SNORING]

88
00:04:43,330 --> 00:04:45,400
Look, Lanny, it's perfect.

89
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,800
"Sale, as is, $75!"

90
00:04:49,460 --> 00:04:52,530
Hey, that's right. You're starting
to earn money from your website.

91
00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:54,230
Okay, we'll split.

92
00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:56,800
My gift certificate
and you put up the rest.

93
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,200
This is perfect.

94
00:04:58,430 --> 00:04:59,700
Don't you think so, Lanny?

95
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,630
Lanny?

96
00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:03,460
Lanny?

97
00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,530
[ALL APPLAUDING]

98
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,760
Thanks for coming tonight, everyone.

99
00:05:08,860 --> 00:05:10,500
I'm Natasha O'Neal.

100
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:13,100
<i>Teen Attitude</i> is
very excited to present

101
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,030
<i>Stylin' N Sassy.</i>

102
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,600
We've got some
awesome young people backstage

103
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:18,800
and they're eager to get going

104
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,500
so, let's give it up for them.

105
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,360
[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

106
00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:56,460
Lizzie's pretty good.

107
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:57,530
I could have done this

108
00:05:57,630 --> 00:06:00,700
if I hadn't had to go to
a stupid funeral the day of tryouts.

109
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,230
Lizzie, all right!

110
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:29,530
Our little girl is really growing up.

111
00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:32,030
You know, honey, I have a new rule.

112
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,700
Our little girl's not allowed
to leave the house till she's 25.

113
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,630
NATASHA: Let's give a big thank-you
to all our beautiful models.

114
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:39,160
[ALL APPLAUDING]

115
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,900
Oh, guys! Guys, guys, guys.

116
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,530
They're doing another fashion show
and they want me to be in it.

117
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,600
That's incredible!

118
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,230
Check you out. You're gonna be famous.

119
00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:53,160
Now, don't let all this
go to your head.

120
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:55,500
Don't forget us little people
when you become a big celebrity.

121
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:58,130
Oh, I won't. Don't worry, um...

122
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:01,100
-Gordo?
-Gordo. Right. [LAUGHS]

123
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,230
ETHAN: Lizzie, all right.

124
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:05,600
Hey, there you are.

125
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:07,060
We've been looking for you.

126
00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:08,730
That was a banging show.

127
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,300
-You really looked cool up there.
-Thanks.

128
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:13,300
Listen, a bunch of us
are getting together

129
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,300
at my dad's club tomorrow afternoon.

130
00:07:15,430 --> 00:07:19,260
We're going to go in the hot tub
and watch the new Backstreet Boys DVD.

131
00:07:19,330 --> 00:07:20,700
But that's not even out yet.

132
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,300
My dad pulled some strings
and got an advance copy.

133
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,600
He's trying to buy
me and my sister's affection.

134
00:07:25,660 --> 00:07:27,000
Ooh, he's got mine.

135
00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:30,400
But it's just that
Gordo and Miranda and I

136
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:31,900
were planning on going
to the movies tomorrow.

137
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,160
Oh, they can come, too, if they want.

138
00:07:34,230 --> 00:07:35,300
Oh, they want.

139
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:36,360
They want.

140
00:07:36,430 --> 00:07:37,560
GORDO: Let me get this straight.

141
00:07:37,630 --> 00:07:39,030
Just because you did a fashion show

142
00:07:39,100 --> 00:07:40,830
we're suddenly invited
to a country club

143
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:43,800
to hang out with all the popular kids
that always ignored us before?

144
00:07:43,860 --> 00:07:45,800
We don't have to go
if you don't want to, Gordo.

145
00:07:45,860 --> 00:07:48,230
Are you insane?
I just wanted to get it straight.

146
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,630
I've never been to
a country club before.

147
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:51,000
This is gonna be awesome.

148
00:07:51,060 --> 00:07:52,930
Can it get any better than this?

149
00:07:54,330 --> 00:07:55,860
Yes, it can.

150
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,200
Are we ready?

151
00:08:01,730 --> 00:08:03,260
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

152
00:08:23,630 --> 00:08:25,160
This is the life.

153
00:08:27,230 --> 00:08:28,900
[STRAINING] Lanny,
you're squishing me.

154
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:35,330
Look at all the shrimp toast.

155
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,400
Oh, that's good shrimp toast.

156
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:40,860
You guys going to
have some shrimp toast?

157
00:08:40,930 --> 00:08:42,100
I'm going to have
some more shrimp toast.

158
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,860
Uh, no, thanks, Gordo.

159
00:08:43,930 --> 00:08:45,300
Hey, you want to go
get something to drink?

160
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:46,560
Try the iced tea.

161
00:08:46,630 --> 00:08:48,130
It's got a sprig of mint in it.

162
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,200
It's very refreshing.

163
00:08:49,260 --> 00:08:50,300
This is massive.

164
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,530
You should have
been a model years ago.

165
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,130
Yeah, then maybe for
the fifth grade holiday pageant

166
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,200
Miss Thalheimer would have
let me play the Snow Princess,

167
00:08:57,260 --> 00:08:58,300
not a sheep.

168
00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:01,230
Who's laughing now,
Miss "I got axed for stealing supplies

169
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:03,660
and now I sell hot dogs
in front of the Lumber for Less"?

170
00:09:03,730 --> 00:09:05,060
Who's laughing now?

171
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:14,300
Lizzie, what's this I hear about you
and <i>Teen Attitude</i> magazine?

172
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,500
Oh, they called me last night
after the fashion show

173
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:18,600
and wanted me to do
some photo shoots for them.

174
00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:20,700
We heard you're going to be
on the cover.

175
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:21,760
Wow.

176
00:09:21,830 --> 00:09:23,300
That's right. Wow.

177
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,760
Lizzie's gonna be famous.

178
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:26,230
What kind of clothes
do you get to wear?

179
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:27,300
Where's the photo shoot?

180
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,330
Lizzie does not want
to answer questions all day long.

181
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,330
She's looking for a little quiet time.

182
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,900
-Okay. Okay.
-I am?

183
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:34,960
You are.

184
00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:36,760
Why don't you go back to the hot tub.
I'll get your drinks.

185
00:09:36,830 --> 00:09:38,460
-What do you want?
-Uh, water.

186
00:09:38,530 --> 00:09:39,530
What kind?

187
00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:43,800
Uh... the, uh,
the wet kind. [CHUCKLES]

188
00:09:43,860 --> 00:09:46,400
They have sparkling Italian,
French and Swiss,

189
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:48,700
Artesian from the Julian Alps
in Slovenia,

190
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,030
deep-spring from Utah.

191
00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:52,230
Maybe I'll just have some tea.

192
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,860
Oh, they have mango, raspberry, lemon,
spearmint mist, cinnamon...

193
00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:57,360
-Thanks, Dad.
-[SMACKS LIPS]

194
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:00,500
I've known Lizzie my entire life.

195
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,360
I always knew she'd be discovered.

196
00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:04,260
That's why I put her in all my movies.

197
00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:07,730
Now, if you want I could come over
sometime and show them to you.

198
00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:09,200
Would Lizzie come?

199
00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:12,260
Yes. Yeah, yeah, she would.

200
00:10:12,330 --> 00:10:14,060
Great. How about next Sunday?

201
00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:15,500
Lizzie, next Sunday

202
00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:17,600
we're all going to go
to Jessica's house and watch movies.

203
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,700
She's got HDTV and surround sound.

204
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:20,800
Oh, I can't.

205
00:10:20,860 --> 00:10:22,130
That's when my next fashion show is.

206
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,460
Oh, that's in the afternoon.
You're free by 7:00.

207
00:10:24,530 --> 00:10:25,600
We'll do it at 7:00.

208
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,900
-Great. Great.
-Great.

209
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,400
-Wait.
-What?

210
00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:32,130
Maybe I don't want
to spend all my time

211
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,030
hanging out with cool kids
in hot tubs.

212
00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:36,160
What? Am I delirious?

213
00:10:36,230 --> 00:10:37,330
I must be cracking up.

214
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:38,530
[LOUD THUD]

215
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,760
Sunday at 7:00 sounds good.

216
00:10:41,830 --> 00:10:44,530
Perfect. Then Saturday night
we can all go dancing.

217
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,600
Coolie.

218
00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:48,130
The Shango Tango is hard to get into.

219
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:51,530
But if we're with Lizzie,
that shouldn't be a problem.

220
00:11:02,030 --> 00:11:04,700
Hey, Lizzie that is a great blouse.

221
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:05,930
Oh, thanks.

222
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,330
Wait a minute.

223
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,830
I always wear this blouse.

224
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:11,160
And your earrings match your eyes.

225
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,060
My earrings match my eyes?

226
00:11:15,460 --> 00:11:17,230
And your shoes are way cool, too.

227
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,400
Thanks.

228
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:21,100
I need rubber boots with
all this manure she's shoveling.

229
00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:22,360
[MOOS]

230
00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:25,000
So, I'll see you at
the Shango Tango on Saturday?

231
00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:27,660
-[NERVOUSLY] Yeah, I can't wait.
-[KATE GIGGLES]

232
00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:34,130
Hey, Ethan.

233
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:35,900
Me?

234
00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:38,260
[NERVOUSLY] Uh, hi.

235
00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:41,960
Um, so what did you think
of the English test?

236
00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:43,060
I don't know.

237
00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:44,330
What did you think?

238
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,760
Oh, I thought it was really hard.

239
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,700
[NERVOUSLY] Yeah, yeah, it was hard.
It was it was really hard.

240
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:49,760
Are you okay?

241
00:11:49,830 --> 00:11:50,830
[VOICE SHAKING] I don't' know.

242
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:52,730
Am I? I mean, I...

243
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:55,860
You... I got to go.

244
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,500
Since when does Ethan Craft
turn into jelly around me?

245
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,160
Ew.

246
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:11,160
Ugh!

247
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,460
Why don't you take a picture?

248
00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:14,900
It'll last longer.

249
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,500
I'm glad you guys are here.

250
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:19,760
This modeling thing is starting
to make everyone act all freaky.

251
00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:21,760
I'm sure not everyone's acting freaky.

252
00:12:21,860 --> 00:12:23,700
Kate Sanders is complimenting me.

253
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,530
Ethan Craft is all of a sudden
like a drooling chimp.

254
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:30,330
Everyone's acting all different
ever since I became a "celebrity".

255
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:33,030
Well, would you rather
Kate be mean to you like usual?

256
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,900
No, but it's just so weird.

257
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:38,760
People who never liked me before
want to be my best friend now.

258
00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:40,700
Who cares? We're popular now.

259
00:12:41,230 --> 00:12:42,900
-We?
-You.

260
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:44,930
<i>You</i> are popular. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

261
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,130
She said "we".

262
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,330
I was right here. I heard her.

263
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,400
You <i>are</i> popular.

264
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:52,600
In fact, Whitney Nussbaum wants us to
go to her bat mitzvah on Saturday.

265
00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:54,560
They're giving away cell phones
as party favors.

266
00:12:54,630 --> 00:12:55,630
I can't.

267
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:57,500
I can't go to
the Shango Tango Saturday night

268
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,060
<i>and</i> a Bat Mitzvah during the day.

269
00:12:59,130 --> 00:13:00,930
I have a book report due
on <i>Lord of the Flies</i> .

270
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,000
I'll write that for you.

271
00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:04,660
Um, you think doing
other people's homework is wrong.

272
00:13:04,730 --> 00:13:06,260
I've asked you, like, a million times.

273
00:13:06,330 --> 00:13:08,560
These are special circumstances.

274
00:13:08,630 --> 00:13:10,760
You have a lot on your plate.
I'll write the report.

275
00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:13,060
-[CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY]
-Problem solved. See you. Go.

276
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,560
Problem not solved.

277
00:13:15,630 --> 00:13:17,000
Problem huge.

278
00:13:17,060 --> 00:13:18,700
My friends are turning into freaks.

279
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,200
This is horrible.

280
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:23,560
Gordo and Miranda
aren't my friends anymore.

281
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,000
They're my <i>people</i> .

282
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,530
Stop staring at me!

283
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,160
I'm not a celebrity!

284
00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:38,960
[SHOUTS] I'm a human being!

285
00:13:46,930 --> 00:13:48,660
-Hey, how you doing?
-[YELPS] Wah!

286
00:13:48,930 --> 00:13:50,860
Oh, I'm sorry. Did I startle you?

287
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,800
No, it's just, um...

288
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:55,930
Thanks.

289
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,860
My nephew didn't believe
I knew the new <i>Teen Attitude</i> girl.

290
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,160
Great. Now you're acting
like everyone else.

291
00:14:01,230 --> 00:14:03,060
What? Other people are selling
your picture to my nephew?

292
00:14:03,130 --> 00:14:05,160
You're selling my picture
to your nephew?

293
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,200
[CHUCKLES] Uh, I got a niece, too.

294
00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:10,560
Hey, what's bugging you?

295
00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:13,060
Everybody's acting all weird.

296
00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:16,300
Gordo's using me to get invited places
and Miranda's scheduling me.

297
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:17,900
I can't take it anymore.

298
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,800
Oh.

299
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,430
I don't know who those people are.

300
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,600
Oh, well, they're supposed
to be my friends,

301
00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:25,030
but ever since this modeling thing

302
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:26,730
they've been treating me
completely different.

303
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:27,800
Oh, I get it.

304
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:29,200
You don't want them
acting like your posse.

305
00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:31,330
Right. So, what do I do?

306
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:32,800
Treat them like your posse.

307
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:34,900
Look, you're a celebrity now.

308
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,930
It's human nature
for them to treat you different.

309
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,660
If you want them
to go back to being your friends

310
00:14:38,730 --> 00:14:40,500
you have to show them
why they shouldn't act like

311
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,000
miserable, groveling, suck-up dogs.

312
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:43,830
I like substitutes.

313
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:45,560
They teach you useful stuff.

314
00:14:46,130 --> 00:14:47,600
So, as a teacher,

315
00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:49,200
you're telling me
to treat my friends like dirt?

316
00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:50,630
Oh, I'm telling you as a buddy.

317
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,230
As a teacher, I'm telling you that
France exports aerospace products

318
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:54,600
and Italy is shaped like a boot.

319
00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:57,900
I'm teaching geography this week.

320
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,860
I get in trouble if I deviate
from the lesson plan. [CHUCKLES]

321
00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:02,830
Say <i>fromage</i> .

322
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,100
Let me do the talking, okay, Lanny?

323
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,530
Uh, Matt, I'll handle it.

324
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:09,600
Excuse me.

325
00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:11,900
Excuse me.

326
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,560
I'm exercising.

327
00:15:13,730 --> 00:15:14,730
Twenty more minutes.

328
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:18,900
Uh, my son bought this hammock,

329
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,630
and when we got it home
it ripped in half.

330
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:21,700
We'd like a refund.

331
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:22,700
Oh, I get you.

332
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,830
[LAUGHS] No.

333
00:15:25,060 --> 00:15:26,060
Excuse me?

334
00:15:26,130 --> 00:15:28,130
No returns on sale items.

335
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,200
But it was ripped.

336
00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:30,260
Yeah, it's defective.

337
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,360
So he shouldn't have bought it.

338
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:34,260
Look, I told you, old-timer.
I'm exercising.

339
00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:35,600
That's it.

340
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,360
Get tough with him, Lanny.

341
00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:39,700
[BREATHING HEAVILY]

342
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,060
Matt, I'm gonna get the manager.

343
00:15:42,130 --> 00:15:43,160
Thanks.

344
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,930
Hey, maybe we can fix the hammock.

345
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:49,230
Excuse me, sir,

346
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,830
do you think we could
use this tape to fix the hammock?

347
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:53,900
I'd rather use it
to tape up your mouth.

348
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,260
[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]
That's a good one.

349
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,460
Very interesting,

350
00:15:58,260 --> 00:16:00,300
but I've got a better idea.

351
00:16:02,430 --> 00:16:03,430
Lanny, help me.

352
00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:09,200
Lanny, do you suppose
this treadmill goes faster?

353
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,530
-[TREADMILL BEEPING]
-SALESMAN: Hey!

354
00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:14,400
[HYSTERICAL STAMMERING]

355
00:16:14,830 --> 00:16:16,730
Why, it does.

356
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,700
Turn this thing...
turn this thing off!

357
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,760
-Hey!
-[TREADMILL BEEPING]

358
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,930
-Tickle him, Lanny.
-SALESMAN: No. [SCREAMS]

359
00:16:23,130 --> 00:16:25,660
[LAUGHS] Okay.

360
00:16:25,730 --> 00:16:26,730
[SHOUTS] Get a new hammock!

361
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:27,960
Hey! Get a new one! Go on!

362
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,600
Hey! Help!

363
00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:31,860
Have fun exercising.

364
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,660
[GROWLS]

365
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,000
Um, Lizzie, where are you?

366
00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:39,200
LIZZIE: I'm out back!

367
00:16:45,260 --> 00:16:46,800
You, uh, wanted us to come by?

368
00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:49,100
Commence Operation Superstar Brat.

369
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:52,460
Yeah, did you bring
the jellybeans like I wanted?

370
00:16:52,530 --> 00:16:54,900
Um, you didn't ask for any jellybeans.

371
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:55,960
What?

372
00:16:56,030 --> 00:16:57,760
I have to ask, now?

373
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,030
There's some in the kitchen.

374
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,200
Could you go get me some?

375
00:17:01,260 --> 00:17:02,630
Uh, sure.

376
00:17:03,730 --> 00:17:04,930
Where's the book report?

377
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,260
Hot off the printer.

378
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,160
[SCOFFS] No, no, no. Not good enough.

379
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:14,860
[BLOWS NOSE]

380
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:17,100
Do it over.

381
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,200
But I spent three hours on it.

382
00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:20,600
So spend four.

383
00:17:20,660 --> 00:17:23,060
Make it more fun.

384
00:17:23,130 --> 00:17:24,130
Fun?

385
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:27,160
<i>Lord of the Flies</i> is about shipwrecked
children eating each other.

386
00:17:27,230 --> 00:17:28,660
Doesn't mean it has to be a drag.

387
00:17:28,730 --> 00:17:29,730
Do it again,

388
00:17:29,830 --> 00:17:31,600
or you're not coming to the
Shango Tango with me tonight.

389
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:32,760
Here.

390
00:17:33,630 --> 00:17:34,630
Ew.

391
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:36,360
You didn't pick the green ones out.

392
00:17:36,430 --> 00:17:38,600
Uh, I didn't know I was supposed to.

393
00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:41,630
I don't need excuses.

394
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,500
What do I need you guys around for

395
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,060
if you can't do anything right?

396
00:17:45,130 --> 00:17:46,460
You want to keep messing up?

397
00:17:46,530 --> 00:17:48,730
You want to keep acting
like untrained dogs?

398
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,600
Fine. Bark.

399
00:17:50,730 --> 00:17:53,060
Go ahead, bark like dogs.

400
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:54,800
You're joking, right?

401
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:57,300
You want to go to Whitney Nussbaum's
bat mitzvah with me?

402
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,630
Start barking.

403
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,360
[SHOUTS] I said, bark!

404
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,430
-Woof?
-Woof, woof.

405
00:18:04,730 --> 00:18:05,830
[GROWLS] Grrr.

406
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,400
That is pathetic.

407
00:18:07,730 --> 00:18:10,500
I don't know why I've been
wasting my time with you guys.

408
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:13,060
[SCOFFS] I'm going to go find
better people to hang out with.

409
00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:14,200
Move!

410
00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:21,630
Wasn't that horrible?

411
00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:23,530
Uh, yeah.

412
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,700
But you got my point, right?

413
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,460
That you totally snapped your twig?

414
00:18:27,530 --> 00:18:28,530
No.

415
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,030
That you guys have changed.

416
00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,130
We haven't changed.

417
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,860
Gordo, you let me blow my nose
on your book report

418
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,100
and, Miranda,
you let me boss you around

419
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,730
just because I'm becoming "famous".

420
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,800
I guess I did get a little caught up

421
00:18:41,860 --> 00:18:44,430
with the whole
country club hot tub stuff.

422
00:18:44,930 --> 00:18:47,130
Yeah, but it's not worth
you guys treating me different.

423
00:18:47,430 --> 00:18:49,060
I need you guys to be my friends.

424
00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:50,360
Not my posse.

425
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,900
Well, I guess
I could go back to refusing

426
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,400
to help you with your homework.

427
00:18:55,730 --> 00:18:58,200
And I can tell you whether
your clothes make you look dorky

428
00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:00,130
and if your hair
makes you look like an ostrich.

429
00:19:00,330 --> 00:19:01,830
[CHUCKLES] Thanks.

430
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,030
Like now, for instance.

431
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,230
-You look like you're molting.
-[ALL CHUCKLES]

432
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,000
Well, see the thing is,

433
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:08,860
everybody else is
still treating me different

434
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,530
so I've got to stop being a model.

435
00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:12,530
Bye-bye shrimp toast.

436
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,230
And there's one more problem.

437
00:19:14,430 --> 00:19:16,300
I've got a contract
with <i>Teen Attitude.</i>

438
00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:17,730
That's not a problem.

439
00:19:17,830 --> 00:19:20,300
All you have to do
is stink at being a model.

440
00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:25,560
-[POP MUSIC PLAYING]
-[ALL APPLAUDING]

441
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,030
NATASHA: Cheyenne Keegan in
Lorenzo's new casual collection.

442
00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:43,260
And now, Lizzie McGuire

443
00:19:43,330 --> 00:19:47,200
in Andrea Taylor's new evening wear,
Elegance in Ivory.

444
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,200
[FOLK MUSIC PLAYING]

445
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,500
[SHRIEKS]

446
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,830
Way to go, graceful.

447
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:31,660
You talking to me?

448
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:33,260
Who do you think you are?

449
00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:35,300
Not a dork-o like you.

450
00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:36,460
I don't think so.

451
00:20:36,530 --> 00:20:39,000
[BOTH SCREAMING]

452
00:20:40,430 --> 00:20:42,060
[COMICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

453
00:20:51,030 --> 00:20:52,160
Lizzie, stop it!

454
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:53,630
LIZZIE: [SCREAMS] No!

455
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:57,060
That's it. There's no room for you
at <i>Teen Attitude</i> .

456
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:58,130
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

457
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,900
Hey, Miranda want to go
get me some hot chocolate?

458
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,100
[SCOFFS] Get it yourself.

459
00:21:06,330 --> 00:21:07,930
[CHUCKLES] How about you, Gordo?

460
00:21:08,030 --> 00:21:09,030
[SCOFFS]

461
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,030
My friends are back.

462
00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:12,830
I'll go get it myself.

463
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,500
Could you bring me some?

464
00:21:16,630 --> 00:21:17,630
[SCOFFS]

465
00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:25,360
-LIZZIE: A mark.
-CREW MEMBER: Thanks, Big Bird.

466
00:21:25,530 --> 00:21:27,430
-I love being an adult because...
-[MATT SNEEZES]

467
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,460
Bless you. Everything you get stinks.

468
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:32,330
Don't forget us little people
when you... Well, that's...

469
00:21:35,230 --> 00:21:36,760
LIZZIE: Don't blink!

470
00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:38,000
[STAMMERS]

471
00:21:40,060 --> 00:21:41,330
[CHAIR RATTLES]

472
00:21:41,830 --> 00:21:46,330
Well, who's laughing now Miss "I got
axed for stealing supplies"? And...

473
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:47,530
[GROWLS]

474
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:49,760
Set dressing!

475
00:21:49,830 --> 00:21:51,200
[SHOUTS] I said, bark!

476
00:21:51,330 --> 00:21:52,530
[ALL BARKING]

477
00:21:56,330 --> 00:21:57,360
Yowzah.

478
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:58,830
[CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]

479
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,000
[BELL RINGING]

480
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,230
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]