1
00:00:08,660 --> 00:00:11,200
The best part of this is,
it's not a dream.

2
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:19,160
The worst part, it's CPR class.

3
00:00:20,900 --> 00:00:22,730
Yo, coach. What do I do now?

4
00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,000
Kiss me, you fool.

5
00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:28,100
Blow in my mouth.

6
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,260
Craft, we have been
over this 15 times.

7
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,000
Take a seat.

8
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:37,860
Tudgeman, front and center.

9
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,030
Oh. No, no, no.

10
00:00:40,430 --> 00:00:41,830
Maybe I should take a seat too.

11
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:44,060
Give someone else a chance
to be a choking victim.

12
00:00:44,130 --> 00:00:45,160
On the floor, McGuire.

13
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:46,500
Could I run laps instead?

14
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:50,130
You can run laps in addition to,
on the floor, McGuire.

15
00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:52,560
Tudgeman.

16
00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:55,960
Make us proud.

17
00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,130
[ALL CHUCKLING]

18
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,230
Ooh. Looks like
my junior firefighting course

19
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,460
is finally paying off.

20
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,100
Lips, don't fail me now.

21
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:05,200
[KISSING]

22
00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:07,160
LIZZIE: Oh, my God. Ew.

23
00:01:07,230 --> 00:01:09,600
Let me die.

24
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:11,930
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

25
00:01:52,430 --> 00:01:53,600
Mint, mint.

26
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:55,700
You're gonna be okay, Lizzie.

27
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,560
It was only CPR class.

28
00:01:57,630 --> 00:02:00,160
It's not like Tudgeman
actually kissed you.

29
00:02:00,230 --> 00:02:03,000
Hey, Lizzie.
I heard that you kissed Tudgeman.

30
00:02:03,060 --> 00:02:04,830
So, where are you two
going on your honeymoon?

31
00:02:04,900 --> 00:02:06,960
[LAUGHS]

32
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,430
Why does Ethan Craft
have to be so dumb?

33
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:13,060
Squeeze and blow, it's not that hard.

34
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,330
Maybe he has a lot on his mind.

35
00:02:15,830 --> 00:02:17,400
Why did we have
to learn mouth to mouth

36
00:02:17,460 --> 00:02:18,700
and the Heimlich maneuver anyway?

37
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,730
It's not like I plan on
being a lifeguard.

38
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,700
What do we ever learn
here that's useful?

39
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:25,330
How to make Mock Apple Pie
out of salty crackers.

40
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,400
Mmm-hmm.

41
00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:29,400
It's official, we're the only
three kids in this school

42
00:02:29,460 --> 00:02:32,300
who haven't seen
<i>Vesuvius: The Eruption.</i>

43
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,860
Duh, 'cause it's rated R.

44
00:02:33,930 --> 00:02:36,060
Besides, Gordo, since when do
you care what other people do?

45
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,200
I don't. I just wanna see the movie.

46
00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:41,300
An entire ancient city
destroyed by lava and...

47
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,260
And, Ben Affleck
in a doomed love affair.

48
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,030
I know you're right.
It's like the best movie ever made.

49
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:48,600
Why does it have to be rated R?

50
00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:52,400
Because of adult situations,
mild violence, and brief nudity.

51
00:02:52,460 --> 00:02:54,200
This is so unfair.
I mean, if I can handle

52
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:56,300
mouth to mouth with Larry Tudgeman,

53
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,600
I think I can handle
<i>Vesuvius: The Eruption.</i>

54
00:03:00,660 --> 00:03:03,430
You locked lips with Larry Tudgeman?

55
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,500
Health class. It was required.

56
00:03:06,030 --> 00:03:08,200
Nothing good ever happens
in health class. Ugh.

57
00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:10,700
The movies they show us,
give us nightmares.

58
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,500
I cannot believe they make us watch
a women smoke through her throat,

59
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,400
but I can't see
<i>Vesuvius: The Eruption.</i>

60
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:17,630
You know what?
You're absolutely right.

61
00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:19,330
I say, we go see it.

62
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,230
-I'm free Saturday afternoon.
-Coolie. I'm in too.

63
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:25,800
Great. So, we're gonna go see
an R rated movie.

64
00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:26,860
It's about time.

65
00:03:26,930 --> 00:03:28,630
I'm totally mature enough
to see an R rated movie.

66
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:32,000
-Absolutely.
-Great. So, let's do it.

67
00:03:32,060 --> 00:03:33,430
We'll just go.

68
00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:36,200
Great, so, uh,
whose parents are gonna take us?

69
00:03:36,860 --> 00:03:38,860
[SCOFFS] Who are we kidding?

70
00:03:38,930 --> 00:03:40,800
-[SIGHS] We're doomed.
-[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

71
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,960
There's no way
our parents are gonna let us go.

72
00:03:43,030 --> 00:03:45,700
Of course, not. If that's
our attitude when we ask them.

73
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:47,060
LIZZIE: Why bother asking?

74
00:03:47,130 --> 00:03:49,400
My mom won't let me wear
tops that show my stomach.

75
00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:51,530
She'll never let me see
an R rated movie.

76
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,660
Fine. Let's not try.

77
00:03:54,030 --> 00:03:56,360
Let's just spend
the next four years of our lives

78
00:03:56,630 --> 00:03:59,030
watching movies about
talking animals and cartoon elves

79
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:00,500
and call ourselves happy.

80
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,260
I don't think I can stand
one more talking pig movie.

81
00:04:05,060 --> 00:04:06,960
Okay, we'll try.

82
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:08,600
Good, we can do this.

83
00:04:08,930 --> 00:04:10,730
We just need
to handle it in the right way.

84
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,600
And, make sure we're on the same page.

85
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,630
Maybe I should write this down.

86
00:04:18,260 --> 00:04:19,260
[CLEARS THROAT]

87
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,230
Mom, Dad.

88
00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:31,060
I've been reading the reviews on
this new movie <i>Vesuvius: The Eruption.</i>

89
00:04:31,130 --> 00:04:33,530
It turns out there's a lot
of historical information in it.

90
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:36,230
So, it would be beneficial
for me on lots of levels.

91
00:04:36,300 --> 00:04:37,830
Because, the emotional issues

92
00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:39,400
involved in
Ben Affleck's forbidden love...

93
00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:41,400
...with a peasant girl,
not of his station...

94
00:04:41,460 --> 00:04:44,100
...mirrors certain
socio-economic issues.

95
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,700
In our own society today.

96
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:47,630
And, even though it's rated R.

97
00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:50,100
It's not that inappropriate
for kids my age to see it.

98
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,060
And, all the other kids
at school have seen it.

99
00:04:52,130 --> 00:04:54,100
And, it's all anybody
ever talks about.

100
00:04:54,860 --> 00:04:56,300
-So...
-ALL: Can I see it?

101
00:04:56,700 --> 00:04:57,730
BOTH: No.

102
00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:01,860
Lizzie is way too young
to see an R rated movie.

103
00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:04,530
Sounds like a cool movie though.
Maybe we should go see it.

104
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,700
What? We're over 17.

105
00:05:08,430 --> 00:05:09,500
Mom, Dad.

106
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,430
Mrs. McNamara is so excited
you're building a booth

107
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,800
for the school carnival.

108
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:15,560
We are?

109
00:05:15,630 --> 00:05:17,130
I thought
we were blowing up balloons.

110
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,960
No, I volunteered
you guys to build a booth.

111
00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:22,600
And, I want you guys
to make something really cool.

112
00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:25,030
Oh, honey.
Last time we did something cool,

113
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:26,800
your dad got his eyebrows burned off.

114
00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:29,530
And they grew back sort of funny, too.

115
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,360
No, I like your new eyebrows.

116
00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:35,430
But, Jeff Thompson and his parents
are building a dunk tank.

117
00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:37,530
Wait a minute, Jeff Thompson.

118
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,160
Isn't he the one
with the mother whose cookies

119
00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:42,160
always come in first at the bake sale?

120
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,800
Yeah, but, I guess
we could just blow up balloons.

121
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,500
It'll be fun.

122
00:05:55,030 --> 00:05:56,800
No, no, no. We can build a booth.

123
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:58,760
What do you have in mind?

124
00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:01,100
Okay. So, people come up to the booth

125
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,800
and stand up against a wall

126
00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:04,530
with an apple on their head.

127
00:06:05,100 --> 00:06:07,830
I don't... I don't see
the game here, honey.

128
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:11,800
Then, Dad shoots the apple off
their head with a flaming arrow.

129
00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,960
Very William Tell.
Historical, I like it.

130
00:06:15,730 --> 00:06:16,730
Sam?

131
00:06:18,030 --> 00:06:21,100
Fine, um,
we shouldn't shoot flaming arrows

132
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,260
-at people's heads, son.
-[GASPS]

133
00:06:23,430 --> 00:06:26,960
-But, what if the arrow isn't flaming?
-Yeah.

134
00:06:27,030 --> 00:06:27,960
No.

135
00:06:30,830 --> 00:06:34,030
But, I wanna do something extreme.

136
00:06:34,430 --> 00:06:37,860
What have you got all over
your new cargo pants?

137
00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:40,830
If you wanna do something extreme,
let's just take it down a notch.

138
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,830
We could have, uh,
milk bottles lined up

139
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:45,100
instead of throwing baseballs,
we could throw frisbees at 'em.

140
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,160
That'll be extreme.

141
00:06:46,430 --> 00:06:48,630
Yeah, extremely lame.

142
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:52,260
I have an idea.

143
00:06:54,430 --> 00:06:57,660
How about we build a Velcro wall.

144
00:06:58,300 --> 00:06:59,730
A Velcro wall?

145
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:02,560
Talk to me.

146
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,800
Well, people will pay good money
to put on a Velcro suit

147
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:08,560
and go run and jump
and stick to a Velcro wall.

148
00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,530
You know, I like how she thinks.

149
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,860
That's why I married her, son.

150
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,630
Yeah, Mom, you rock.

151
00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:18,100
It's true. I do.

152
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,560
Son, we've got a wall to build.

153
00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:22,800
Yes. We're gonna have
the coolest booth in the carnival.

154
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,960
Yes, yes, yes, yes.

155
00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:27,330
Hey.

156
00:07:27,830 --> 00:07:30,760
Oh, hey. I was thinking,
since we can't go to the movies

157
00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:32,860
this weekend, we should
got to Mount Rushmore minigolf.

158
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,730
Miniature golf? Is that
the dorkiest thing you can think of?

159
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,330
How about the sci-fi convention?

160
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,160
Hey, I like miniature golf, okay?

161
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:45,430
You're just still mad about
your fourth grade birthday party,

162
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,060
when I set
the course record for windmill.

163
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,000
I can't believe that I'm saying this,

164
00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:52,330
but <i>Vesuvius</i> is actually
better than <i>Star Wars.</i>

165
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,100
I've seen it four times
and I still can't figure out

166
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,600
how they do that thing with the lava.

167
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:01,030
[SNORTS] I'm not watching the lava,
I'm watching the slave girls.

168
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:02,230
Yeah.

169
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:03,500
Oh, Lizzie.

170
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:07,800
Gross.

171
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:10,300
Okay, new plan.

172
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,360
We tell our parents
we're going miniature golfing,

173
00:08:12,430 --> 00:08:15,030
and when instead,
we go and see <i>Vesuvius.</i>

174
00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:17,800
Okay. So, you're telling me
to lie to my parents?

175
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,100
No, I'm asking you
to make a last minute change

176
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:21,660
in plans in advance.

177
00:08:21,930 --> 00:08:23,830
Hmm, that sounds reasonable to me.

178
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:26,700
Okay, I'll try.

179
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,260
But, I don't think it's gonna work.

180
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,560
This is never gonna work.

181
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:42,230
Mom?

182
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:45,030
Can I ask you something?

183
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,460
This is never gonna work.

184
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,500
Sure, sweetie. What's up?

185
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:53,300
Uh, can I go play miniature golf
with Gordo and Miranda this weekend?

186
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,030
This is never gonna work.

187
00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:58,200
Sure. That sounds fun.

188
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,030
What?

189
00:09:00,930 --> 00:09:02,030
Yes!

190
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:08,100
We can't all go up together.

191
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,330
Why not?

192
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,930
Because if they turn us
all down, we're dead.

193
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,500
But, if we go one at a time,
we'll have three shots at this, right?

194
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:17,830
Fine, I'll go first.

195
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,000
[SIGHS]

196
00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:20,300
-Good luck.
-Good luck.

197
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,900
Good afternoon, uh,
my fiancé and her friend

198
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,630
are parking the car outside,

199
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,530
and I was picking up
the tickets for them.

200
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,030
Is the 1:30 show sold out yet?

201
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,530
My college teacher's making me,

202
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,030
'cause she wants me
to write a paper on it.

203
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,230
I tell you, boy,
do I need this day off.

204
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,900
If it is, the 4:00 show
it'd be okay too.

205
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,600
The boss is just busting
my hump down at the office.

206
00:09:43,660 --> 00:09:47,230
And, working at a law firm,
part time is no picnic.

207
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:50,800
-Ben.
-Uh...

208
00:09:50,860 --> 00:09:51,860
Um...

209
00:09:51,930 --> 00:09:53,460
-Boy, do I...
-Hey.

210
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:54,900
Oh, not sold out?

211
00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:56,800
I guess I'll take three tickets then.

212
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,260
So, if you could just...

213
00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:01,830
$7.50 each?

214
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,000
Isn't there, like,
an under 14 discount?

215
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:09,630
No.

216
00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:11,460
[SIGHS] No luck.

217
00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:14,000
Okay, revised new plan.

218
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,800
If they're not gonna sell us
any tickets,

219
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:18,060
we'll just sneak in through the back.

220
00:10:18,430 --> 00:10:21,460
Sneak in? Isn't that like stealing?

221
00:10:21,530 --> 00:10:24,230
Yeah, but we're gonna
give them great word of mouth

222
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:25,800
so a lot more people
will see the movie.

223
00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:27,630
In a way we're doing them a favor

224
00:10:28,030 --> 00:10:30,560
Plus, we'll just buy a bunch of
stuff at the concession stand.

225
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,460
I mean, that's where they make
all their money, anyway.

226
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,760
I guess that kinda makes sense.

227
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,660
It's my law school training.

228
00:10:37,730 --> 00:10:39,100
[CHUCKLING]

229
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,160
[SIGHS]

230
00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:45,800
How can the fire exit be locked?

231
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,760
I mean that can't be good.

232
00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:49,260
So, what do we do now?

233
00:10:49,330 --> 00:10:50,530
I say we go home.

234
00:10:50,630 --> 00:10:52,030
I mean, <i>Vesuvius</i> can wait.

235
00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,100
No, it can't.

236
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,500
It's Ben Affleck, Lizzie.

237
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:58,660
Ben Affleck. Sweating
in clingy Roman clothes.

238
00:10:58,860 --> 00:11:00,000
Okay, here's what we do.

239
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,730
We wait for the current show
to let out,

240
00:11:01,930 --> 00:11:03,860
and then while everyone's
leaving the theatre, come on.

241
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,100
All right, guys, talk like
you just saw the movie.

242
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,260
Okay.

243
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,760
The critics are right.

244
00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:13,300
<i>Vesuvius</i> explodes off the screen.

245
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,500
Another triumph for Ben Affleck.

246
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:17,430
His love scenes are hotter than lava.

247
00:11:17,860 --> 00:11:20,200
Don't hail Caesar, hail Oscar.

248
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:21,430
I like the volcano.

249
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,300
What? I-I like volcanoes.

250
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,130
Okay, we're in.

251
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,360
Everybody hide in the restroom

252
00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:29,700
and meet back here in five minutes.

253
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:30,760
Okay.

254
00:11:30,860 --> 00:11:31,860
All right. Come on.

255
00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:33,530
How does it feel? Is it snug?

256
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,030
Really comfortable.

257
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:36,700
I could wear this all the time.

258
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,360
Well, let's see
if it works first, okay?

259
00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:43,630
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls, children of all ages,

260
00:11:43,830 --> 00:11:49,630
prepare to be awestruck by
Velcro-boy the flying McGuire.

261
00:11:52,030 --> 00:11:53,100
Can't get up.

262
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:56,360
Sam? A little help inside, please.

263
00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:01,600
I'll have a large popcorn,
a root beer.

264
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,860
Ooh, sour gummy worms,
malted milk balls.

265
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,860
Okay, I didn't buy
an eight dollar ticket.

266
00:12:08,030 --> 00:12:10,260
But, I'm spending 17 bucks on popcorn.

267
00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:12,330
Butter flavoring on the popcorn?

268
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,600
Only if it costs extra.

269
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:15,600
[MAN COUGHING]

270
00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:20,030
I can't believe we're gonna
go see an R rated movie.

271
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,060
Today, I'm a man.

272
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:28,130
Jeremy? Je... Jeremy?
Jeremy's choking.

273
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:30,560
Come on, somebody get help.

274
00:12:30,860 --> 00:12:32,030
Oh, my gosh.

275
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,000
Somebody do something.

276
00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:37,530
Lizzie, you've had the CPR classes.

277
00:12:39,260 --> 00:12:40,560
Help that guy.

278
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,160
Somebody besides me.

279
00:12:45,430 --> 00:12:47,300
-But... No, but...
-Go. Go. Lizzie, help that guy.

280
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:56,030
[COUGHING]

281
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:09,660
Ugh.

282
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,100
Hey, you want this?

283
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,300
Thank you so much.

284
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,200
I-I told him to slow down
on the sour balls.

285
00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:21,300
Ugh.

286
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:22,830
I'm just glad
you were here to save him.

287
00:13:22,930 --> 00:13:25,730
Wow. Something I learned
in school actually paid off.

288
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,960
See, Lizzie. If you hadn't
lied to your parents

289
00:13:29,030 --> 00:13:30,860
and snuck into an R rated movie,

290
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,600
that guy would have choked to death.

291
00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:34,330
I love you, man.

292
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:38,560
Bye.

293
00:13:38,930 --> 00:13:40,460
I'm a hero.

294
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:43,700
Well, I learned CPR
in school and I just reacted.

295
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,260
And, I told her to save the guy.

296
00:13:46,330 --> 00:13:48,030
And, I was on board
with it right away.

297
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,930
[CHUCKLES] So, there you have it.

298
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,160
A real life matinee hero.

299
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,530
From the 1:30 showing of <i>Vesuvius,</i>
I'm Kirka Johansson.

300
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:59,000
-So cool.
-All right, thank you.

301
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,060
This is so cool.
You guys, we're gonna be on TV.

302
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,400
This could be my big break.

303
00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:10,230
Next, I'll be starring opposite
Ben Affleck in <i>Vesuvius-Two.</i>

304
00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:12,030
We have to get home and tape it.

305
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:13,100
Oh, yeah.

306
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,200
Um, Lizzie, Miranda.

307
00:14:14,900 --> 00:14:16,130
We're gonna be on TV.

308
00:14:16,930 --> 00:14:18,100
Yeah, we know.

309
00:14:18,460 --> 00:14:21,060
We're gonna be on TV
in the lobby of the rated R movie

310
00:14:21,130 --> 00:14:22,860
that we snuck into
while all of our parents

311
00:14:22,930 --> 00:14:24,300
thought we were playing
miniature golf?

312
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:26,800
Oh.

313
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:30,700
Or, I could be starring in
<i>Grounded Forever,</i>

314
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,100
<i>the Lizzie McGuire story.</i>

315
00:14:32,860 --> 00:14:35,130
We need to get home and make sure
our parents don't watch the news.

316
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:36,730
This is so unfair.

317
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,260
I saved someone's life
and I'm gonna end up in trouble.

318
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,360
[SIGHS]

319
00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:47,700
And, thank you also
for the free movie passes

320
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:48,860
and the...and the gift certificate.

321
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:49,930
That's fantastic.

322
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,160
Okay, thanks, bye, bye.

323
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:54,430
Who was that, honey?

324
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,630
It was the manager
from the Wilco movie theatre.

325
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,530
Lizzie saved
someone's life down there.

326
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,860
A guy was choking and she gave him
the Heimlich maneuver,

327
00:15:03,930 --> 00:15:05,260
she saved his life.

328
00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:06,330
You're kidding.

329
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,660
No, it's gonna be
on 6:00 news and everything.

330
00:15:08,930 --> 00:15:11,630
Wow. Our daughter, the hero.

331
00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:15,400
Wait a second.

332
00:15:15,460 --> 00:15:17,100
Did she say the Wilco theatre?

333
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,630
Isn't that where <i>Vesuvius</i> is playing?

334
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:21,900
Yeah, it is.

335
00:15:23,030 --> 00:15:25,430
She told me
she was playing miniature golf.

336
00:15:25,930 --> 00:15:28,730
Our daughter may be a hero,
but she's a lying hero.

337
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,060
[MATT YELLING]

338
00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:35,830
You might wanna wait
till I put the Velcro up, son.

339
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:38,500
MATT: Thanks for the heads up, Dad.

340
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,700
[GROANS]

341
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,100
Okay, here is the plan.

342
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,200
You had another?

343
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:46,430
How about a plan
that actually works this time.

344
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,160
We have to prevent
your parents from seeing

345
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:49,960
the six o'clock news at all costs.

346
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,460
That's not a plan. That's a goal.

347
00:15:52,630 --> 00:15:54,230
Fine, new goal then.

348
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:56,460
Well, maybe they won't
watch the news tonight.

349
00:15:56,530 --> 00:15:58,100
Maybe they won't see the interview

350
00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,400
and this'll all go away.

351
00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,030
Nah. Not gonna happen.

352
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:02,330
My parents never miss the news.

353
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,000
My mom gets all weepy
at the adopt a pet segment.

354
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:07,830
Hey, kids. How was miniature golf?

355
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:10,660
-Um, great.
-Fun.

356
00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:13,160
Really good. I-I had
the bright yellow ball.

357
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:14,800
-Yeah.
-Who won?

358
00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:15,860
-Gordo.
-Miranda.

359
00:16:15,930 --> 00:16:16,930
Lizzie.

360
00:16:17,930 --> 00:16:19,360
It was a tie.

361
00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:22,530
Yeah, we never really understood
how that whole scoring thing works.

362
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,430
Besides, we're all winners here.

363
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,800
Oh yeah. Mmm-hmm.

364
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:28,430
I'm so glad that you guys
had fun playing miniature golf.

365
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:30,760
Hey, you know, we should play
miniature golf more often.

366
00:16:30,830 --> 00:16:32,760
We should. You know, maybe
we should go this weekend.

367
00:16:32,830 --> 00:16:34,860
-Oh, but, you guys just went.
-Yeah.

368
00:16:34,930 --> 00:16:36,960
Oh, oh, we'd go again.

369
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,060
You know what,
we would go right now even.

370
00:16:39,130 --> 00:16:40,560
Yeah, let's go right now.

371
00:16:40,630 --> 00:16:42,200
Right now.
That, that's a great idea...

372
00:16:42,260 --> 00:16:43,300
You know, I don't know.

373
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,060
-I-I heard it might rain.
-Oh, I heard that too.

374
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,830
You know, maybe
we should turn on the news

375
00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:49,860
to hear what
the weather report is, huh?

376
00:16:49,930 --> 00:16:52,230
-That's a great idea.
-LIZZIE: No. No, no.

377
00:16:52,330 --> 00:16:54,130
Aah. They-they're always
wrong anyways.

378
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,900
Yeah. Uh, we should just go.
I call shotgun.

379
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,460
-I call bright yellow ball.
-No, let's watch the news.

380
00:16:58,530 --> 00:17:00,960
-No, wait.
-Sweetie, what's wrong?

381
00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:04,860
Uh, the-the sports guy,
he'll announce who won the car races

382
00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:06,760
and Gordo's taping it at home,

383
00:17:06,830 --> 00:17:08,830
and he doesn't wanna
know who the winner is.

384
00:17:08,900 --> 00:17:10,130
[INHALES] Right, Gordo?

385
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,930
Yeah, I-I love car races.

386
00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:14,500
Really, Gordo?

387
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,560
I had no idea that
you were a racing nut.

388
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:19,330
What're you into, NASCAR? Formula 1?

389
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:24,830
All, all of them.
NASCAR, Formula 1, Formula 2, uh,

390
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:26,560
nitro powered funny cars.

391
00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:28,060
[IMITATES CAR ENGINE]

392
00:17:28,430 --> 00:17:29,700
What... you know what we can do?

393
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:31,860
We can turn off the TV
before the sports

394
00:17:31,930 --> 00:17:33,860
because they always save
that for the end anyway.

395
00:17:33,930 --> 00:17:34,960
Yeah.

396
00:17:37,460 --> 00:17:38,800
-[GASPS]
-Lizzie.

397
00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:41,430
I'm sorry. I'm such a klutz.

398
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,300
I loved that lamp.

399
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,160
We can glue it back together.

400
00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:48,460
Yeah. Everyone,
help me pick up the pieces.

401
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,460
Kids, you can leave that.

402
00:17:51,130 --> 00:17:55,360
No, no. Uh, um, this was
Dad's favorite lamp, Mom.

403
00:17:55,430 --> 00:17:58,730
So, um, we're gonna have
to into the kitchen and...

404
00:17:59,860 --> 00:18:01,500
pick it up, glue it back together.

405
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,100
-All of us together.
-MIRANDA: Right. Yes.

406
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,960
Honey, forget about the lamp.

407
00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:08,960
Jo, I really did like that lamp.

408
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,060
Why can't we fix it?

409
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,130
Because we don't have time.

410
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,760
Because we have to watch the news
to see if it's going to rain,

411
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:18,930
to see if we can play miniature golf.

412
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:20,360
Right.

413
00:18:20,430 --> 00:18:22,960
But, you see it's not going
to rain because my big toe

414
00:18:23,030 --> 00:18:24,400
always hurts when it's gonna rain.

415
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:29,230
And, right now it feel great,
so we can go.

416
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,600
Come on, let's move it on out.

417
00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:31,660
You know what?

418
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:34,130
I don't feel like playing
miniature golf anymore.

419
00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:35,960
I feel like going to the movies.

420
00:18:36,030 --> 00:18:37,560
SAM: That is a great idea.

421
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:38,760
Huh?

422
00:18:38,830 --> 00:18:41,000
Yeah, um, there's this
talking dog flick out

423
00:18:41,060 --> 00:18:42,730
that I, I really want to catch.

424
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,560
It seems that his master has been
spending too much time

425
00:18:45,630 --> 00:18:47,830
at the office, neglecting
the wife and the kids,

426
00:18:48,130 --> 00:18:51,160
and the talking dog
shows him the error of his ways.

427
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:52,560
You know what I really want to see?

428
00:18:53,530 --> 00:18:54,600
<i>Vesuvius.</i>

429
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,000
Oh, yeah.

430
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:01,360
But, I thought you said
we couldn't see that movie.

431
00:19:01,430 --> 00:19:04,000
Well, Lizzie, your mother
and I have been discussing this,

432
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,860
and we feel that you guys
are mature enough

433
00:19:06,930 --> 00:19:08,230
to enjoy that movie.

434
00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:09,760
And, you can't get in without us.

435
00:19:09,830 --> 00:19:11,860
-Right?
-[CHUCKLES]

436
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,160
You think they know?

437
00:19:16,930 --> 00:19:18,800
Oh, yeah, Lizzie.

438
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,200
BOTH: We know.

439
00:19:21,730 --> 00:19:22,960
Oh. [GROANS]

440
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,860
Oh. So, uh, how busted are you?

441
00:19:28,530 --> 00:19:30,200
Busted like gnome lamp.

442
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:31,560
You?

443
00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:34,260
Uh, my parents
are very "disappointed" in me.

444
00:19:34,530 --> 00:19:36,300
I hate it when
they're disappointed in me.

445
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:39,000
My mom started saying my name
like it was all one word.

446
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:41,030
Miranda Isabella Sanchez.

447
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:42,930
Oof, I hate it when that happens.

448
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,360
Sorry, my parents called you guys'
parents and ratted you out.

449
00:19:45,830 --> 00:19:48,530
That's okay. Parents are always
doing stuff like that.

450
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:49,830
It's their code.

451
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,660
So, I'm grounded for a week.

452
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:52,960
How about you guys?

453
00:19:53,430 --> 00:19:56,260
Two weeks and I have
to write a 10-page paper

454
00:19:56,330 --> 00:19:57,830
on responsibility.

455
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,230
Mm, what about you, Lizzie?

456
00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:00,760
Grounded for a week.

457
00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:02,900
But since I did save a human life,

458
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,130
Mom's letting me go
to Matt's carnival tomorrow.

459
00:20:05,860 --> 00:20:08,830
Six hours of peeling kids
off a Velcro wall.

460
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,130
JO: Honey, time to practice
for the carnival.

461
00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:13,530
Gotta go.

462
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:14,800
-BOTH: Bye.
-Ugh.

463
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:17,730
Okay, Matt. You ready?

464
00:20:17,830 --> 00:20:19,430
-[HELMET CLICKS LOCKED]
-Roger.

465
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:21,160
Okay, let her rip.

466
00:20:27,730 --> 00:20:28,830
[GRUNTS]

467
00:20:29,260 --> 00:20:30,400
[WHOOPING]

468
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:31,660
It works.

469
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,160
Hey. All right.

470
00:20:33,230 --> 00:20:34,930
And look, it's not falling over
or anything.

471
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:37,360
That is so cool. Can I try?

472
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,000
Sure. Uh, let me get
your brother off the wall first.

473
00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:44,130
Yeah, it comes off too.

474
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,200
[CHUCKLING]

475
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:49,260
Oh, uh, hold on a second, Lizzie.

476
00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:01,600
[CREAKING]

477
00:21:06,330 --> 00:21:07,730
Oh, that was cool.

478
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,930
Dad, help me up so I can go again.

479
00:21:11,130 --> 00:21:12,230
Dad?

480
00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:16,230
SAM: Jo, could you peel our daughter
off of the wall, please?

481
00:21:19,530 --> 00:21:20,600
LIZZIE: Hello?

482
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:25,100
MALE CREW MEMBER 1: B-camera mark.

483
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:27,500
Okay, new plan.

484
00:21:27,630 --> 00:21:28,860
[LAUGHING]

485
00:21:28,930 --> 00:21:30,130
MALE CREW MEMBER 2:
Okay, everybody, chillax.

486
00:21:30,530 --> 00:21:32,000
Somebody do something.

487
00:21:32,060 --> 00:21:34,760
[LAUGHING]
Oh, shoot! Lizzie, you had the CPR...

488
00:21:35,830 --> 00:21:37,500
[LAUGHS] Go, get help, Lizzie

489
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:38,830
Liz... Lizzie, help that guy.

490
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:40,000
-ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Cut.
-MALE CREW MEMBER 3: Cut.

491
00:21:40,060 --> 00:21:42,230
Oh, my... Ew, ew, ew.

492
00:21:43,130 --> 00:21:44,130
MALE CREW MEMBER 4: Cut. Hey.

493
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,800
Somebody besides me.

494
00:21:45,860 --> 00:21:47,900
I wanna talk to the stunt coordinator.

495
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:48,960
Now.

496
00:21:49,030 --> 00:21:51,260
-[BLABBERS]
-[LAUGHING]

497
00:21:51,330 --> 00:21:52,430
Okay, here is what we do.

498
00:21:52,500 --> 00:21:53,960
We wait for the current show
to let out

499
00:21:54,030 --> 00:21:56,000
and then while
everyone's leaving the theatre...

500
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,130
[BOTH LAUGHING]

501
00:21:59,430 --> 00:22:00,500
That's my arm.

502
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:01,800
-ADAM LAMBERG: Okay.
-MALE CREW MEMBER 5: Don't cut.

503
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,960
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]