MRS. WORTMAN: So, if train A and train B
are traveling at different speeds,
heading for the same destination,
and train A is traveling at 90 miles per hour...
Unless I'm on a train,
and it's taking me to a private rock concert
with me and my friends,
-I'm just not that interested. -[TRAIN HORN TOOTS]
MRS. WORTMAN: And train B is traveling at 60 miles per hour,
at what time will train A and train B be in Cleveland?
Now, if train A gets to the station at four o'clock,
and train B is 170 miles away...
Oh, gross! Ugh!
I know you are, Frizzy McGuire.
-Miss Lieberman, is there a problem? -No.
-Lizzie McGuire, a problem? -No.
Good.
So, if train B has travelled 122 miles at 60 miles per hour,
what time will it be when train B gets to the station?
[GASPS] Oh, gross!
I'm sorry, Frizzy. [CHUCKLES] I thought you were my desk.
As if word problems aren't enough trouble,
I'm forced to learn about them while my life is in constant danger!
[COUGHS] Boring! [CLEARS THROAT]
That's it. Clear your desks except for a pencil.
-[GASPS] -Write your name
on the upper right-hand corner of your papers
and show all of your work.
Great, a pop quiz.
Great! A pop quiz!
I love the smell of pop quizzes in the morning!
What planet are you from again?
Gor-dork?
-Stop it! -Let me see your paper!
No! Cheater!
Why, you afraid Mrs. Wortman will see?
I am so not afraid.
Prove it. Let me see.
What part of "no" don't you understand?
Coward!
Ladies.
I don't tolerate cheating.
You can finish up your conversation in detention.
[ECHOING] Detention. Detention. Detention.
Detention. Detention. Detention.
Detention. [LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
Detention? Detention? [STAMMERS] But I've never had detention!
I am a good girl. Good girls don't get detention!
Well, Frizzy McGuire, welcome to my world.
See you in detention!
If I'm train A and Angel's train B,
we're about to have a major collision.
[RAILWAY CROSSING BELL RINGING]
Ugh.
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
[STAMMERS] Isn't this the part
where you're supposed to offer me comfort?
Guidance? I mean, anything?
I am about to get killed!
[DISTANT SHRIEKING]
-Um... -Don't look anybody in the eye!
It's just detention, right?
I mean, everyone in there can't be a criminal.
I got detention.
I'm sure there'll be at least one other normal person in there.
That depends on how you define normal.
We all thought Eli Saxon was normal.
Until he ate his shoes.
Just try and blend in. Act tough.
Tough? Gordo, this is me you're talking to.
We'll remember you fondly.
[SIGHS]
[WOMAN SHRIEKING]
Um, hi, I'm Lizzie McGuire.
I'm, um, here for de... detention.
Ah, fresh face.
Welcome Miss McGuire. A hearty welcome.
Please take a seat, I don't care which one.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
I really don't.
Okay, people. [SIGHS]
I'm excusing myself for no more than five minutes.
That should give me enough time to make copies of my play,
which is a work of a genius,
[CHUCKLES] that I don't expect
you little monkeys to understand.
[GRUNTING]
[MONKEY-LIKE SHRIEKING]
I was supposed to be the first one in line to buy the new Eminem CD
and then you had to go and open your big mouth
just because I wanted to cheat off your paper.
[STAMMERS] If I agree with everything she says,
maybe she won't hurt me.
Maybe you're right. It was just a stupid pop quiz.
Next time, I'll just let you cheat.
Next test we have, my answers are your answers.
Still alive! Seems to be working!
You're really gonna let me cheat?
Sure, I guess. [CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
Frizzy McGuire, I misjudged you.
I may even let you join my band one day.
-A band? Bands rock! -[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
You have a band?
Not yet. But one day,
I'm gonna make some music, travel the world, go my own way.
Sounds really cool!
Yep. Just me, my music and my fans.
And that's the only way to get to L-squared.
L-squared?
Two Ls.
Live Large?
You know, go where the wind blows me.
Angel's not scary. She's misunderstood.
So, why'd you sit down next to me?
Look around.
Like I'm really gonna spend my valuable detention time
talking to these bunch of double Es?
[SCOFFS] Uh-uh.
"Double Es?"
[SIGHS] How many Es are there in geek?
-Two. -And in dweeb?
Two! Oh! Double E!
Geeks and dweebs. I got it. [LAUGHS]
That's pretty good.
[CHUCKLES]
Why didn't I think of that?
[BOTH LAUGHING]
You're late.
[SCOFFS] I know. Sorry, Mom.
Sorry? Sorry, you say?
What could you have possibly been doing
that you couldn't take one minute to call me?
I should tell her the whole ugly truth,
how I was unjustly thrown in detention,
locked up with the bad kids.
She'll take my side. I'm her first born.
Well?
School project.
School project?
[STAMMERS] It ran late. Sorry.
-First, detention. Now I'm lying? -[LIE DETECTOR BEEPING RAPIDLY]
What's happening to me?
Oh, it ran late!
Well, honey, why didn't you just say so?
Oh, I know! Because you prefer to torture me!
I mean, here I am, worried sick!
Imagining all sorts of...terrible things!
Lizzie, you know the rules.
When you are late, you are supposed to call me.
I get the point, Mom.
-I said I was sorry. -[SIGHS]
Don't stop the love.
-Freeze, mister! -[TIRES SCREECH]
What? I didn't do it!
Uh, reflex. So what's for dinner?
"What's for dinner?"
I'll tell you what's for dinner. Where have you been?
Is that the other white meat?
Matt, you are supposed to be home when the streetlights come on,
and the streetlights have been on
-for exactly seven minutes. -[BELL DINGING]
Did you two plan this or something?
Hey, don't lump me in with that Double E!
But I left early, Mom.
The game wasn't even finished yet.
None of the other guys had to leave!
Well, I don't care about the other guys.
I care about you.
But they all get to do stuff I don't,
like go to scooter parks and bungee jump!
Bungee jump?
They eat all their Halloween candy on Halloween!
Well, that's their mother's problem, not mine.
And none of them have a bed time!
None of those boys have a bed time?
Nope.
Fine. From now on, neither do you.
What?
We'll make a deal.
You come home when you're supposed to and from now on, no bed time.
Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.
-You feeling okay? -Yeah!
Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Whoo! Touchdown!
So, uh, how was detention?
Or do you need some time for the wound to heal
before you can talk about it?
You guys won't believe it! But...
They let you out for good behavior?
They had you move to a separate room for your own protection?
No! Listen.
I mean, it wasn't bad at all. In fact, it was kinda fun!
Uh, this is a bad connection, Gordo.
I... I think she just said that detention was fun.
This is Lizzie, right? Lizzie-Good-Girl-McGuire?
Hey, I'm not such a good girl all the time!
Am I?
Sorry, Lizzie. But you're kind of the good girl prototype.
LIZZIE: Do you know what this makes me?
Boring, boring, boring, boring, boring!
Now, Angel, she isn't boring at all!
We got to talking...
Angel as in Angel Lieberman?
Well, this is definitely a bad connection.
I thought I just heard you say
that you and Angel had an actual conversation.
One, where she didn't have you pinned to the ground,
dangling spit over your face.
She just plays by her own rules. It's so exciting.
I don't have a bedtime. I don't have a bedtime
Hang up, beastie boy!
[GROANS]
Still don't have a bedtime!
Ugh! Matt, I'm gonna crush you.
You guys, I'll see you tomorrow. I have a conflict I need to settle.
-Okay, bye. -[LIZZIE GROANS]
[GRUNTS]
[OBJECTS CLATTERING]
[SIGHS]
[MATT GROANING]
Where's Lizzie?
She never misses lunch! It's her favorite class!
[DISTANT LAUGHING]
The way you sneezed in front of Pettus?
That was classic.
LIZZIE: Well, the note I forged said
I had a doctor's appointment, remember?
-I had to make it look realistic. -[LAUGHS]
You forged a note?
-Get over it, Gor-dork! -[CHUCKLES]
-Friz made it worth your while. -[GASPS]
Ah! Hey, what are you doing?
The cheese is going to get all gross.
I'm hiding the evidence!
You obviously lost your mind and went off campus!
Ooh! Can't get anything past you, can you, Sanchez?
[CHUCKLES]
Don't you have a car to steal, or something?
Okay, come on, you guys. Come on.
Miranda, it's no BD.
BD? Big Deal?
-[SCOFFS] -[ANGEL LAUGHS]
I'll catch you on the flipside, Friz.
Need to meet my tutor and go over my cheat sheet.
And don't forget about Friday night!
Coolie!
You really just ruined
a perfectly good piece of pizza there, Miranda.
What?
You must be suffering
from post-traumatic detention syndrome.
Why else would you be hanging out with Angel Lieberman?
She's bad news, Lizzie.
Okay, so maybe Angel is a little dangerous.
But a little danger never hurt a girl.
Ow!
You guys just don't know Angel the way I do.
Yeah, and let's keep it that way.
Okay, so maybe she's a little rough around the edges.
But she knows about some really cool stuff.
-Like parole? -[MIRANDA CHUCKLES]
She has an answer for everything.
Yeah, but she usually takes the fifth.
Oh, and she's starting a band.
Nothing puts the double O in "cool" like starting a band.
Oh, you guys should come to the party this weekend.
Oh, please, can we?
It's a high school party.
I am going to a high school party. Can you believe it?
So long, good girl. Hello, Friz.
So are you guys in or what?
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Look at that poor kid.
He's not even going to make it to lunch.
Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
Hey, Matt, how you doing, sweetie? How was your night last night?
MATT: [WEARILY] Awesome night.
You know, I used to do some of my best thinking late at night.
I guess I thought about a few things.
So how late do you think you stayed up?
Late.
-Real late. -[BOTH CHUCKLE]
-Wow. That's impressive. -Yeah.
I'm not even tired.
You seem tired.
No, I'm just taking most...
I mean, I'm just making toast.
I'll take that.
Lizzie, come on, that's your brother's breakfast!
What in heaven's name is in your nose?
Lizzie, what have you done to yourself?
[SCOFFS] Take a chill pill, parents. It's just a temp.
[STAMMERS] I don't know where to start.
Your nose jewelry or your attitude.
Let's start with her attitude.
Matt, eat your breakfast.
I'm sorry, Lizzie, but there is no way
we're letting you out of the house looking like that.
But she looks this gross every day.
Not a word!
Chill, parents! It's just a fake!
I just wanted to see how it looked.
Relax.
Everybody can calm down, move on. Nothing to see here.
Honestly, I, I don't know what has gotten into you lately.
[SNORING]
And you think I'm the one with the problems? [SCOFFS]
Sweet dreams. Thanks.
That's it! That is exactly the tattoo I'm gonna get.
Before you start your band in L-squared, right?
Hey, maybe that's what I should call my band.
L-squared. [CHUCKLES]
Hey, it could catch on. [CHUCKLES]
By the way, cool jewels.
Thanks. My parents TFO'd when they saw it.
TFO. Totally freaked out.
-Hey, good one! -[CHUCKLES]
So, speaking of old folks,
you know that party?
No parents will be there.
-How sweet is that? -[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
No parents?
There's also going to be boys there. Lots of them.
Cute high school boys. [CHUCKLES] Can you say hottie high?
High school boys? No parents?
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] It's getting kinda warm in here.
That's not like a problem, is it, Friz?
Oh, no. Not at all. [CHUCKLES]
-[BOTH CHUCKLE] -Good.
Hey, Miranda.
Why aren't you in P.E.?
Well, I thought about it,
but then I was just like, "What's the point?"
It's not like I plan on being a P.E. teacher when I grow up.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Not only does Angel call her "Friz,"
which I totally don't get, by the way,
but... but, she's ditching P.E.
And you know that party she invited us to?
No adult supervision!
I was hoping we wouldn't have to go there,
but, I think this is an emergency.
Go where? What are you talking about?
Scaring Lizzie straight!
She's a good girl at heart. We just need to remind her of that.
And how are we going to do that?
Okay, you guys. Angel helped me work out a plan.
Since you guys aren't going to the party Friday night,
I'll say I'm spending the night at your house, Miranda.
If my parents call for any reason,
you'll page me at the party to give me a heads up.
Sam and Jo would freak if they knew where I really was.
Later.
[SIGHS] Intervention, here we come.
Intervention?
The night is young.
[SNORING]
ANNOUNCER: Now knowing the future is just a phone call away.
Just dial the number on your screen, and talk to one of our psychic pals.
Just $5.95 per minute. Call now.
[TOLLING]
MATT: I'm going to be tall enough
to play in the NBA?
I'm going to be married how many times?
I'm really going to be the ruler of the free world?
Oh, yeah! Who's your ruler?
Thanks.
That was school.
Seems they're concerned about Matt's home life.
Seems Matt snuck into the kindergarten room
-[SNORING] -...yesterday during nap time
and slept through his next three classes.
Well, at least he's sleeping somewhere.
Yeah.
[CONTINUES SNORING]
Morning, honey!
[SCREAMS] No more gravy!
Oh. It was just a dream.
So, you still gonna ride your scooter to school today?
[YAWNS] Okay. Mm.
Don't forget your helmet.
Here you go. Have fun.
Fun.
[DOOR SHUTS]
How far do you think he's going to get before he realizes?
[MATT SCREAMS]
Not very.
Are you sure Lizzie's going to show?
I told her I had the answers to the algebra test.
She'll show.
Come on, before she sees you.
You got the goods?
In here.
[SIGHS] Well? Miranda?
Hey, what's going on?
It's called an intervention.
We want you back.
[SCOFFS] I haven't gone anywhere.
That's what you think.
GORDO: [NARRATING ON VIDEO] This week on "Before they were bad girls:
"The Lizzie McGuire story."
Lizzie McGuire started out life as a good girl.
She had it all, friends, family, and three-way calling.
Lizzie was such a good baby. The way she napped.
And not once, not once, did she ever eat dirt.
Yeah, she always ate her vegetables,
finished her milk, laughed a lot.
So good-natured.
She was a good kid.
[SCOFFS] You guys, this is ridiculous.
It's for your own good, Lizzie.
GORDO: Fast forward to middle school,
where Lizzie went from good baby to good girl.
We were best friends, ate lunch together every day,
had slumber parties.
I still have the first friendship bracelet
she gave me on the first day of middle school.
GORDO: But good days came crashing down
when she met a devil named Angel.
Everything was fine until Lizzie got detention.
Lizzie McGuire. Lizzie... What exactly was she in for?
GORDON: She was in for cheating at math.
But soon, she'll be cheating at life.
She used to live up there. Now she lives out there.
On the street. The horror!
GORDON: Lizzie planned on going to a party
she was too young for,
put earrings in places they're not meant to be.
Forgery, ditching, and lying became a way of life.
Lizzie got too fast for even the fast crowd.
MIRANDA: If we don't stop her now,
she could end up in jail.
Or worse.
Which is why we made this film...
BOTH: For you, Lizzie McGuire.
So, what do you think?
I can't believe you guys took so much time to make such a bad movie.
I thought you said this would work!
I do have to say,
I think it's pretty cool that you guys care so much about me.
And, you did go through all that trouble.
But I have to ask.
Does my hair always looks that bad?
You mean to tell me that you're actually okay
with the ditching and all that other stuff?
Actually, no.
I mean, being a bad girl all the time is hard work.
Guess I really am just a good girl at heart.
Note to self, next time I walk on the wild side,
wear comfy shoes.
[WINCES, SIGHS] Oh!
So next Friday, usual?
Mm. Popcorn and a rental at my house?
Sounds GTM. Ooh!
[INHALES THROUGH TEETH] Never mind. Sounds good to me.
[CHUCKLING]
ANGEL: Hey, Friz.
Did you get the answers for the test from Gor-dork?
Okay, A, my name is Lizzie, not Friz.
B, Gordo's no dork.
He's one of my best friends.
And C, I don't cheat.
Fine. But if you think you're gonna be in my band now,
[SCOFFS] you're so not.
And you, Lizzie McGuire, are never going to L-squared.
Aw. I think I'll live.
[SCOFFS]
[SIGHS]
Staying up late again tonight?
No way. I'm exhausted.
I asked Mom and Dad to give me back my bedtime.
Funny. In a way, I just got my bedtime back, too.
You are really dumb.
No. But sometimes it may seem that way.
-Nah. You really are. -[GASPS]
Hey! I was there first!
Too bad. I'm bigger.
Too bad. I'm faster!
-[SCREAMS] -[GRUNTS]
MALE CREW MEMBER 1: Charlie, take three.
-HILARY: Mark! -Mark! [CHUCKLES]
MALE CREW MEMBER 3: And... Cut. Hold on.
MALE CREW MEMBER 4: What is it? MALE CREW MEMBER 5: I got it.
HILARY: You guys, this is ridiculous.
-It's for your own... [LAUGHS] -MALE CREW MEMBER 6: One more time.
You still gonna ride your scooter? [CHUCKLES]
I am going to a high school party. I just messed that line up! [CHUCKLES]
And they all... They eat... [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
[CHUCKLES]
I am a good girl. Good girls don't get detention!
-[DOOR THUDS] -Oops.
Toast is evil! [CHUCKLES]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]