1
00:00:00,530 --> 00:00:01,630
LIZZIE: <i>Face it, Miranda.</i>

2
00:00:01,700 --> 00:00:03,600
<i>It doesn't matter which X-Man you are.</i>

3
00:00:03,660 --> 00:00:05,660
You could be Mystique,
that hot blue chick

4
00:00:05,730 --> 00:00:07,730
and Ethan Craft wouldn't give you
the time of day.

5
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,830
Which is why I'd be Rogue,

6
00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:13,460
I'd use my mutant power to suck
away all Kate's popularity.

7
00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:15,830
Ethan Craft would have no choice
but to turn to me.

8
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:16,930
Or <i>moi?</i>

9
00:00:17,030 --> 00:00:18,060
[SCOFFS] Great!

10
00:00:18,130 --> 00:00:19,800
Use the untapped powers
of the universe

11
00:00:19,860 --> 00:00:24,060
to land a guy who's gonna end up
working at a gas station. Part time.

12
00:00:24,130 --> 00:00:25,160
[SCOFFS]

13
00:00:25,230 --> 00:00:26,660
[OBJECT CLATTERS]

14
00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:28,260
Hello? Ever heard of knocking?

15
00:00:28,330 --> 00:00:29,660
-MATT: Have you seen the flashlight?
-[MATT RUMMAGING]

16
00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,230
No! On the phone! Leave!

17
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:36,260
[SIGHS] I have to get off the phone
and crush my little brother.

18
00:00:39,930 --> 00:00:41,060
Ugh! [SCREAMS]

19
00:00:41,130 --> 00:00:43,800
You have five seconds
till I sit on your head.

20
00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:46,900
One, two, three...

21
00:00:47,900 --> 00:00:48,900
Got it!

22
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,230
Ugh!

23
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,960
Does anyone knock in this house?

24
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,500
Yes, Dad, what do you want?

25
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:56,660
Do you have any idea

26
00:00:56,730 --> 00:00:58,330
why your little brother
is covered in dirt?

27
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,630
You caught me.
I buried him in the backyard

28
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,060
and he dug his way out.

29
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:04,900
Joke!

30
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:06,800
I don't know why he's mud-boy,

31
00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:08,600
but I've got a lot
to worry about, Dad.

32
00:01:08,660 --> 00:01:12,000
I'm getting married in the morning
and if you please would excuse me!

33
00:01:12,060 --> 00:01:13,060
[GROANS]

34
00:01:13,130 --> 00:01:15,200
Honey, a little help?

35
00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:19,060
[THEME SONG PLAYING]

36
00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,900
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

37
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:03,000
The rules for the Social Studies
Marriage Project are as follows.

38
00:02:03,060 --> 00:02:04,760
I will pair you off into couples,

39
00:02:04,830 --> 00:02:06,100
and then everyone will come

40
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,600
and select an occupation
from this fish bowl.

41
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:12,260
Each couple must create
a fictional lifestyle for themselves,

42
00:02:12,630 --> 00:02:15,660
and the couple with the best marriage
doesn't have to write a paper.

43
00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:20,560
Each couple must make
all decisions together.

44
00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:22,460
The project will last one week

45
00:02:22,530 --> 00:02:25,000
and will end with a pretend
20th school reunion party,

46
00:02:25,060 --> 00:02:27,400
where you'll give a report
about your last 20 years.

47
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,000
Any questions?

48
00:02:29,630 --> 00:02:31,960
Yeah! Where's my bachelor number one?

49
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,330
Okay, let's begin.

50
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:35,960
Kate Sanders,

51
00:02:36,630 --> 00:02:38,230
you'll be married to...

52
00:02:40,330 --> 00:02:41,400
Larry Tudgeman.

53
00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:45,660
[ALL CHUCKLING]

54
00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:48,060
Mr. and Mrs. Larry Tudgeman.

55
00:02:48,130 --> 00:02:52,530
Mrs. Kate Tudgeman.
Kate Sanders Tudgeman. It's all good.

56
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:54,460
[SCOFFS] Mrs. Stebel,

57
00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:57,960
I can't be married to Larry. Ugh!

58
00:02:58,230 --> 00:02:59,760
But you are married to Larry.

59
00:02:59,830 --> 00:03:00,960
Stop saying that!

60
00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:02,330
I want a new husband.

61
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,130
There are no new husbands, Kate.

62
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:07,000
Now you and Larry come on up
and select your job.

63
00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:10,460
This is great. I could be married
to a tree frog and still have

64
00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:12,100
-a better marriage than her.
-[CROAKS]

65
00:03:13,730 --> 00:03:15,300
[SIGHS, SCOFFS]

66
00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:19,660
Yeah! Hey, I'm a mailman!

67
00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:21,860
No, no. I'm a mail delivery man.

68
00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:24,900
For without me, there is no mail,
I am the mail man.

69
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:30,600
I'm a "anchorwoman?" I love that.

70
00:03:30,660 --> 00:03:32,060
Honey, that is so great.

71
00:03:32,430 --> 00:03:33,800
Put a cork in it, Tudgeman.

72
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,960
[MOUTHS] Okay!

73
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,800
All right. "Lizzie McGuire..."

74
00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:39,800
You'll be paired with...

75
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:45,460
Ethan Craft, Ethan Craft, Ethan Craft,
Ethan Craft, Ethan Craft!

76
00:03:45,530 --> 00:03:46,600
[BREATHES DEEPLY]

77
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:48,230
"David Gordon."

78
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:52,300
Gordo's cool!

79
00:03:52,830 --> 00:03:54,100
Yeah, I'm seein' it.

80
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,330
Best friends equals best marriage.

81
00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,830
Mix those two together
and we have a recipe for victory.

82
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:02,460
No paper for us this weekend. Yes!

83
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:08,230
"A lawyer?" Cool Mo Dee!

84
00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:09,960
"Sanitation Engineer?"

85
00:04:11,030 --> 00:04:13,160
Oh, I'm a garbage man.

86
00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:14,900
I'm Gordo the garbage man.

87
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,130
My wife's a lawyer. I pick up trash.

88
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,430
Hey, doesn't make you less of a man,
trust me.

89
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:21,630
I know. My wife,

90
00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:23,930
TV personality.

91
00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:28,160
"Miranda Sanchez."

92
00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:30,930
You'll be paired with "Ethan Craft."

93
00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:38,760
Okay, so she's my best friend.

94
00:04:38,830 --> 00:04:42,200
So, I guess I'm happy for her.
But this is so unfair.

95
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,260
Hey, Mrs. Ethan Craft.

96
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:47,960
"Surgeon."

97
00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:50,100
That's like a doctor, right?

98
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:54,100
Okay, so I've met
vegetables brighter than him.

99
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:56,060
-But, he is a total hottie.
-[CHILLY SIZZLING]

100
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,560
He is a doctor,
and I'm a garbage man. Wha...

101
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:01,930
"Homemaker."

102
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,460
Can I escort Mrs. Ethan Craft
to her seat?

103
00:05:07,330 --> 00:05:09,400
That's Mrs. Doctor Ethan Craft.

104
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,660
"Mrs. Doctor Ethan Craft?"

105
00:05:14,930 --> 00:05:16,360
Hi! Just wanted to let you guys know

106
00:05:16,430 --> 00:05:19,330
I'm eating with my husband,
the Doctor, today.

107
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,760
See you guys in the gym.

108
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:25,960
Sure.

109
00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:29,160
Did you see that rock
on Miranda's hand?

110
00:05:29,660 --> 00:05:32,360
That's not a rock. It's a continent.

111
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,060
I've been thinking about it.

112
00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:36,660
I'm not gonna let this trash man thing
get me down.

113
00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:39,300
I've got plans, big plans.

114
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:41,700
I'm gonna build a trash empire

115
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:45,460
with employees and trucks,
and city contracts.

116
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,100
It's gonna be huge.

117
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,800
Hey, Kate. Hey, Kate.

118
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:52,960
Kate.

119
00:05:53,030 --> 00:05:55,330
Ugh! Do I know you?

120
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,560
Yeah! I'm your husband.

121
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,300
Mrs. Stebel's class?

122
00:06:02,260 --> 00:06:03,700
-Mailman?
-[BLOWS]

123
00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:07,930
Okay, uh, we should probably get
to work on this.

124
00:06:08,030 --> 00:06:11,400
Look, I have plans this weekend,
so I can't write a paper,

125
00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:15,660
so I need the best marriage,
which means you can't be in it, okay?

126
00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:20,100
-Uh, want a Brussel sprout?
-[GRUNTS] Ew!

127
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,130
The key is one truck.

128
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:23,800
Just... just one garbage truck

129
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,700
and that becomes two garbage trucks,
then three,

130
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,100
then a lot of garbage trucks,
a fleet of garbage trucks.

131
00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:32,830
For you see, trucks equal contracts,

132
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,430
and contracts equal money.

133
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:36,100
And money equals power.

134
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:38,800
Are you...
Are you even listening to me?

135
00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:41,130
Hello?

136
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,460
Um, yeah! You're talking about trash.

137
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,560
You know, Lizzie.
I know we're best friends,

138
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,830
but sometimes I feel like
you take me for granted.

139
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,430
Like now.

140
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:52,760
What?

141
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,300
How do you think that makes me feel?

142
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:56,160
We've been married
for less than a period

143
00:06:56,230 --> 00:06:58,130
and you're already jealous
of someone else's husband.

144
00:06:58,260 --> 00:06:59,500
I'm not jealous.

145
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,630
We have to work
on this marriage thing together.

146
00:07:04,730 --> 00:07:08,360
I'm not jealous.
She's Mrs. Doctor Ethan Craft.

147
00:07:08,430 --> 00:07:11,260
I'm married to a trash man.
I'm not jealous.

148
00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:19,830
[OBJECTS CLATTERING]

149
00:07:22,930 --> 00:07:23,930
Honey?

150
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,000
Lizzie,

151
00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:30,230
do you know
where your brother's going?

152
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,460
Mom, I'm his sister. We don't talk.

153
00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:37,000
I'm just worried.
He's been really good lately.

154
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,430
But, like, too good. [CHUCKLES]

155
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,660
You sure you haven't noticed
anything weird?

156
00:07:40,730 --> 00:07:45,100
Hmm, besides his troll-like appearance
and his distaste for hygiene?

157
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,030
No. Anyway,
I've got enough to worry about.

158
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:51,730
Miranda gets to be
Mrs. Doctor Ethan Craft,

159
00:07:52,030 --> 00:07:55,100
and I get to be married to Gordo,
the trash king.

160
00:07:56,330 --> 00:07:57,500
Oh, school project, don't worry.

161
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,230
I don't know what your teacher
is telling you.

162
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:04,600
But marriage is not about how much
you earn or what you have,

163
00:08:04,660 --> 00:08:09,030
it's about love and, and trust and,
and communication. Right, honey?

164
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:10,760
-Huh?
-Just say, "yes."

165
00:08:10,930 --> 00:08:12,200
-Yes.
-Good boy!

166
00:08:14,530 --> 00:08:17,700
Okay. Nice that my parents
like each other,

167
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,160
but gross when they kiss
in front of me. Ugh!

168
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:22,830
I am so out of here. Ugh!

169
00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:24,860
-Honey?
-Hmm?

170
00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:26,000
I'm worried about Matt.

171
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,560
-I think you should go follow him.
-[SNIFFLES]

172
00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:30,030
I'll get my coat.

173
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,360
[GRUNTS]

174
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,000
[GRUNTS]

175
00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:56,530
Matt?

176
00:08:58,600 --> 00:08:59,600
Hey, Matt.

177
00:09:01,130 --> 00:09:03,660
Hi. What're you doing here?

178
00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:06,200
Um, tidying up my cave.

179
00:09:06,730 --> 00:09:07,930
Is that what this is?

180
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,400
Uh, yeah! [CHUCKLES]

181
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:11,060
I didn't know
there was a cave up here.

182
00:09:11,130 --> 00:09:12,260
There wasn't.

183
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:14,600
You mean, you made this cave?

184
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,030
I dug it.

185
00:09:17,230 --> 00:09:19,960
Wow. Well, how long did it take you?

186
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,060
I don't know. Couple weeks?

187
00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:23,660
Why?

188
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,330
Well, you see I ran
into these rocks and...

189
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,830
No, Matt. [STUTTERS] What I mean is,
why did you dig a cave?

190
00:09:30,430 --> 00:09:35,230
Dad, haven't you ever wanted
a place that... that's your own?

191
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,730
A place you can just hang?

192
00:09:40,430 --> 00:09:42,430
Each and every day of my life, son.

193
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,460
Are you gonna tell Mom?

194
00:09:44,530 --> 00:09:48,430
Well, you have parental supervision.
So, that would make this okay.

195
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,560
Welcome to the Matt-Cave. [CHUCKLES]

196
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,430
Kate? Ethan?

197
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,830
[GULPS] Probably totally innocent.

198
00:10:08,530 --> 00:10:12,500
Wait, it's Kate.
Definitely, not totally innocent.

199
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,330
So what I was thinking...

200
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:29,000
I was thinking that Mrs. Stebel

201
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:31,130
clearly made a mistake
with my marriage.

202
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,800
So, I'm planning to leave Larry
at the reunion.

203
00:10:34,430 --> 00:10:37,460
Does that mean I get two wives?

204
00:10:38,060 --> 00:10:41,400
No. But if you leave Miranda,

205
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:45,600
then you and I could be... married.

206
00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:46,660
-[GUM SQUELCHES]
-ETHAN: Oh!

207
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,200
Well, that's...
that's still pretty cool.

208
00:10:49,860 --> 00:10:52,160
How's that sound, Doctor Craft?

209
00:10:52,830 --> 00:10:54,130
You're really smart.

210
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,360
Excuse me, here's your drink.

211
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:02,560
Thanks!

212
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,460
Hi.

213
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:09,430
I would give a year's allowance
to be any place but here right now.

214
00:11:10,430 --> 00:11:12,000
Maybe two years.

215
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,330
Garbage is gold.
Stinky gold, but gold, nonetheless.

216
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:18,930
Whatever.

217
00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:21,460
Come on, Lizzie. Give me a hand here.

218
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,160
I mean, you want the perfect marriage
and you've been making zero effort.

219
00:11:24,230 --> 00:11:25,960
Gordo, quit nagging me.

220
00:11:26,030 --> 00:11:28,330
Nagging you?
I... I wouldn't have to nag you

221
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:29,600
if you paid attention to me.

222
00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:31,430
Yeah, I'd pay attention
to you if you talked

223
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:33,160
about something other than garbage.

224
00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:35,000
-Like what?
-Ethan and Miranda.

225
00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:36,300
Mmm. [CLICKS TONGUE]

226
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,900
There's a bunch of batteries
in the garage,

227
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,830
and I think there's more beef jerky
in the pantry.

228
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,600
-Hey!
-Huh?

229
00:11:42,430 --> 00:11:44,760
Sam, can I talk to you for a second?

230
00:11:45,260 --> 00:11:46,400
[STUTTERS] Sure.

231
00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,360
-[WHISPERING] Beef jerky.
-MATT: Got it!

232
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:51,660
What's going on?

233
00:11:51,730 --> 00:11:55,130
Nothing. Just a little,
uh, male bonding time,

234
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,530
with me and Matt.

235
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,700
You know, I'm gonna find out!

236
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:04,860
You know, trash may not
be glamorous, Lizzie,

237
00:12:04,930 --> 00:12:06,330
but it's gonna put our kids
through school.

238
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,160
-That's not it.
-Then what is it?

239
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:12,330
I went to the Digital Bean yesterday,
and I saw Ethan with Kate.

240
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,830
Kate is planning to leave Larry
at the reunion,

241
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,460
and she wants Ethan
to do the same to Miranda.

242
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,360
But it's just a school project,
it's not real.

243
00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:23,660
It'll be real to Miranda
when she gets dumped

244
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:25,260
in front of the entire class.

245
00:12:25,630 --> 00:12:28,100
Okay, you're right. We... we have
to tell her before the reunion.

246
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,430
And, how do we do that?

247
00:12:30,730 --> 00:12:31,860
Well, you have to talk to her.

248
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,060
Hey, Miranda.
[CHUCKLES] Haven't seen you around.

249
00:12:39,330 --> 00:12:41,830
Yeah, being a doctor's wife
can be pretty hectic.

250
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:44,960
[CHUCKLES] So,
how's it working for ya?

251
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,660
Oh, we've decided
that Ethan's a heart surgeon,

252
00:12:47,730 --> 00:12:51,700
we have three kids,
Brittney, Gwyneth and Ethan Junior.

253
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:54,300
I drive the kids to soccer practice

254
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:58,930
in my metallic blue SUV
with beige leather interior.

255
00:12:59,260 --> 00:13:01,030
[CHUCKLES] And what about Ethan?

256
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,530
Oh, he works a lot.
Heart surgeons do, you know.

257
00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:07,330
But he'll meet me here later.
This project is so much fun.

258
00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:08,800
Great!

259
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,500
Miranda, [SIGHS]
I have to tell you something.

260
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:17,530
Hey, ladies, Doctor E's in the house.

261
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:18,930
[CHUCKLES]

262
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,900
I am so erasing his name
from my notebook.

263
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:26,560
Sorry I'm late.
I had some "doctor" stuff to do.

264
00:13:26,630 --> 00:13:27,730
[CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY]

265
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:29,300
You were saying, Lizzie?

266
00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:32,800
-[STUTTERS] I was saying that...
-[ETHAN SLURPING AUDIBLY]

267
00:13:34,060 --> 00:13:35,130
I'm meeting Gord...

268
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,600
I'm meeting Gordo here.
So, I have to go.

269
00:13:39,930 --> 00:13:43,900
I'm not a coward. Really, it's...
it's just not the right time.

270
00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:46,460
I hope you guys are
as happy as we are!

271
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,800
She, uh, doesn't look too upset.

272
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,300
That's because she doesn't know.

273
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:53,060
I couldn't tell her.
I mean, she looks so...

274
00:13:54,430 --> 00:13:55,460
Happy.

275
00:13:55,930 --> 00:13:59,060
You know, the longer you wait,
the more hurt she's gonna get.

276
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,930
Ugh! I am such a wimp.

277
00:14:13,430 --> 00:14:15,360
Dad, does it get much better
than this?

278
00:14:16,060 --> 00:14:17,530
No, it doesn't.

279
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:19,530
You know, I've been thinking.

280
00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,060
What we really need
is some more room.

281
00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:22,460
Talk to me.

282
00:14:22,730 --> 00:14:25,230
I could blow that wall out
another seven-feet,

283
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:26,830
then we'd have enough room in here
for a generator,

284
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:27,900
we could have indoor lights.

285
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,200
And, TV. Can't forget TV.

286
00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:31,400
Yeah, TV'd be cool.

287
00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:32,930
We could probably punch
a hole on the roof here,

288
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,100
bring in some satellite.

289
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:35,360
Cool!

290
00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:37,830
How big a screen do you think
we could get in here?

291
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:42,200
Sam! Matt!

292
00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:43,430
What are you guys doing in there?

293
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,330
Get out of this mud-hole right now!

294
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,400
BOTH: But...

295
00:14:46,460 --> 00:14:49,960
No, no buts! This thing could collapse
on you any minute! Come on.

296
00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:51,560
But, it's cool!

297
00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:54,600
Yeah, I know it's cool, honey,
but it's dangerous.

298
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:55,860
Right, Sam?

299
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,030
Right, Sam?

300
00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:04,930
Son, she caught us fair and square.
At this point, resistance is futile.

301
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:09,300
Women... you can't live with them,

302
00:15:10,130 --> 00:15:12,430
you can't let 'em know
where your cave is.

303
00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:14,900
I cannot believe you're wearing that.

304
00:15:15,260 --> 00:15:18,000
No, I'm a trash-man.
I'm proud of where I come from.

305
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:19,830
Don't you care if we win?

306
00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:21,960
No, I don't. Not anymore.

307
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,900
I care that ever since we got married
you just seemed annoyed by me,

308
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,830
I care that I feel like my best friend
is taking me for granted.

309
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,430
Not only am I a wimp, I'm a jerk.
I'm batting two for two.

310
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,060
So, basically,
while I was out milking the cow,

311
00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:39,860
she was in the big city
fighting crime.

312
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,360
But, I was home on the weekends,
and we have three kids.

313
00:15:43,230 --> 00:15:45,060
Commuter marriage, interesting.

314
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:48,930
So, next up, we have Kate Sanders
and Larry Tudgeman.

315
00:15:54,930 --> 00:15:57,130
I left Larry the day
after our wedding.

316
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:58,800
Of course, there were no children.

317
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,460
I replaced Katie Couric
on the <i>Today Show </i>

318
00:16:01,530 --> 00:16:02,600
and won several Emmy's.

319
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,260
I lived fabulously ever after.

320
00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:09,230
The end. Do I win?

321
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:11,560
Uh, I do not remember agreeing
to any of that.

322
00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:15,130
Kate, Larry, I want to see you
after the presentations, please.

323
00:16:15,730 --> 00:16:17,060
[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]

324
00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:18,960
MRS. STEBEL:
After a five-minute break,

325
00:16:19,030 --> 00:16:23,400
next up will be Miranda Sanchez
and Ethan Craft.

326
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,160
[STUTTERS] Where are you...
Where you going?

327
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:29,100
To tell her.
I can't let her be embarrassed

328
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,330
in front of the entire class.

329
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:35,060
I mean, sure, she's been
Doctor Ethan Craft for a week,

330
00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:37,400
but Miranda's been my friend
for much longer.

331
00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:38,900
And, I can't just let
her walk into this.

332
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:43,960
Hey, Miranda.
Can I talk to you for a sec?

333
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,430
Can't it wait?
I'm about to give my report.

334
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:47,760
No, it can't!

335
00:16:49,730 --> 00:16:51,530
-Give us a sec.
-Sure thing, sweetheart.

336
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,260
Okay, Miranda,
Ethan is gonna leave you, like, now.

337
00:16:56,330 --> 00:16:57,360
Just because you're jealous,

338
00:16:57,430 --> 00:16:59,100
doesn't give you the right
to make stuff up.

339
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,160
Miranda, I'm not making it up!
I'm your friend.

340
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:03,900
Yeah? Some friend you are.

341
00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:05,800
Some friend I am?

342
00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:09,460
One lame school project
and you're spending all your time

343
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:12,530
waiting around for some guy
who doesn't even care about you,

344
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:13,860
who's gonna leave you

345
00:17:13,930 --> 00:17:16,700
and embarrass you in front
of the entire class?

346
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:18,230
What are you talking about?

347
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,130
Ethan and I spend tons
of time together.

348
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:23,760
No. Ethan spends
a ton of time with Kate.

349
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:26,230
I saw them
at the Digital Bean together.

350
00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:29,860
Kate asked Ethan to leave you
at the reunion,

351
00:17:29,930 --> 00:17:31,060
just like she left Larry.

352
00:17:35,030 --> 00:17:36,360
I... I tried to tell you.

353
00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:40,760
But, you seemed so... Happy.

354
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,030
What?

355
00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:46,400
Uh, how?

356
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,730
I'm really sorry.

357
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,300
Uh, yo, is there a Mrs. Doctor
in the house?

358
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,260
Me and Miranda had our, uh, issues,

359
00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:08,700
you know, like on Ricki Lake.
[CHUCKLES]

360
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,430
[STAMMERS] Um,
Ethan was a heart surgeon,

361
00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,800
I was a homemaker...

362
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:17,030
We had three kids,
Brittney, Gwyneth and Ethan Junior.

363
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,700
We had a vacation house,
a swimming pool...

364
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,460
I thought we had a pretty good life.

365
00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:24,730
Yeah, and then also...

366
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,030
But, Ethan was seeing someone else!
Weren't you, Ethan?

367
00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:33,930
Uh, no!

368
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,430
Ethan was going to leave me
for Kate.

369
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,030
But, you see, Doctor,

370
00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:38,930
that's not how I operate.

371
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:40,430
I'm leaving you.

372
00:18:41,430 --> 00:18:44,500
You can take the car,
[SCOFFS] you can take everything,

373
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,760
but you can't take my dignity.

374
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,800
I... I can't be married to someone

375
00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:51,160
who can't even manage
to be my friend.

376
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:52,860
[MIC JARS]

377
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,260
[CHUCKLES]

378
00:18:56,730 --> 00:18:57,730
Uh, Kate.

379
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,760
I thought I was gonna have
two wives, now I got...

380
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:03,900
None.

381
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:07,330
Kate, we need to go talk
to Mrs. Stebel.

382
00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:09,360
You better keep your mouth shut
and agree

383
00:19:09,430 --> 00:19:11,600
that all of our decisions were mutual!

384
00:19:11,660 --> 00:19:14,530
I am not writing a report
because you're a lousy husband!

385
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:15,800
Oh, I'm a lousy husband?

386
00:19:15,860 --> 00:19:17,100
Well, maybe if you
just worked with me

387
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,560
like I asked and the rules said,

388
00:19:18,630 --> 00:19:20,330
we wouldn't be in this problem!

389
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,000
Fine, I'll work with you!

390
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,400
This marriage is over!

391
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:24,900
How's that work for you?

392
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,500
Now, pour me some punch!

393
00:19:29,930 --> 00:19:32,700
Yeah, yeah! I'll pour us some punch.

394
00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:44,300
[STUDENTS LAUGHING]

395
00:19:49,430 --> 00:19:50,760
[BREATHING HEAVILY]

396
00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:52,700
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Now, this marriage is over.

397
00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:54,800
[GRUNTS, CRIES]

398
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:58,260
I guess that's the risk you take
when you marry a postal worker.

399
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:00,130
[ALL LAUGHING]

400
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,260
I... I can't believe Ethan
was going to leave me.

401
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,800
I mean, it had to happen, right?

402
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:06,960
BOTH: Yeah.

403
00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,830
Well, I'm sorry
I blew you guys off for Ethan.

404
00:20:09,900 --> 00:20:11,800
Well, now you know
who your real friends are.

405
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,060
That was some speech
you gave, Miranda.

406
00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:18,200
Yeah, well. I have my real friends
to thank for that.

407
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,860
I can't believe you didn't win.

408
00:20:19,930 --> 00:20:20,930
[CHUCKLES] I know. And, I...

409
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,330
I never thought the cop
and the farmer would take it.

410
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:24,860
-[CHUCKLES]
-A commuter marriage.

411
00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:26,860
I mean, how difficult was that?

412
00:20:26,930 --> 00:20:28,160
I mean, Lizzie, you and I,

413
00:20:28,230 --> 00:20:29,930
we had some real issues
that we worked through.

414
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,400
And we still have
500 words due on Monday.

415
00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:34,000
So, what are you guys
gonna write?

416
00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:37,600
I think I might write
about not taking people for granted.

417
00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:38,660
And, being really lucky

418
00:20:38,730 --> 00:20:40,200
when you can marry
your best friend.

419
00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:42,430
Oh, great. You...
You realize this now?

420
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:43,930
Where was that a couple
of hours ago when...

421
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,100
-[INHALES THROUGH TEETH] Hmm.
-We... We could've won with that.

422
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:50,960
Yeah, well. I'm waiting a really,
really long time before I get married.

423
00:20:51,030 --> 00:20:53,960
Yeah. [CHUCKLES] I think we're even
too young to pretend we're married.

424
00:20:54,030 --> 00:20:55,760
-I agree.
-[CHUCKLES]

425
00:20:55,830 --> 00:20:58,130
My trash empire
could've been something big.

426
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,500
-[GASPS]
-[BOTH SCOFF]

427
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,900
-Uh, hello? Hello?
-[SIGHS]

428
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,360
-BOTH: Guys.
-[SCOFFS]

429
00:21:05,630 --> 00:21:06,630
Chicks!

430
00:21:13,930 --> 00:21:15,130
-A mark.
-FEMALE STAFF: Check.

431
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,500
My trash empire could've been big.

432
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:18,600
-[SCOFFS]
-[SIGHS]

433
00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:20,230
Uh, hello?

434
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:23,660
ALL: Hello?

435
00:21:23,830 --> 00:21:25,400
Ew! Ugh!

436
00:21:26,660 --> 00:21:27,660
[MOUTHS] Okay.

437
00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:31,930
-[MUMBLES]
-[CREW LAUGHS]

438
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:36,860
[ALL LAUGH]

439
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:39,200
-Cowabunga!
-MAN 1: Do the worm!

440
00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:42,160
-[WHOOPING]
-MAN 2: Uh, Jake, don't enjoy this.

441
00:21:42,460 --> 00:21:43,800
MAN 3: Jake!

442
00:21:43,860 --> 00:21:46,700
I claim this land

443
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,600
-in the name of England.
-[CREW LAUGHS]

444
00:21:50,030 --> 00:21:52,860
Whoa, whoa, whoa... [GRUNTS]

445
00:21:53,830 --> 00:21:55,060
Chicks!

446
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,660
[ALL LAUGHING]

447
00:22:00,700 --> 00:22:01,700
STEVE DE JARNATT: Cut!

448
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,960
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]