1
00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:17,230
Honey, don't let that cloth
get too close to that burner.
2
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,560
I know, Mother. [SIGHS]
3
00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:23,260
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I know you're not a small child.
4
00:00:23,330 --> 00:00:25,130
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
5
00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:27,860
Hello?
6
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,400
[SMACKS LIPS] Oh, hey, Debbie.
7
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,160
Well, if you can't babysit
tomorrow night,
8
00:00:32,230 --> 00:00:33,760
you can't babysit.
9
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,730
No, I'm not angry at you [LAUGHS]
for calling me last minute.
10
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:39,660
Okay, bye-bye.
11
00:00:40,730 --> 00:00:42,360
[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]
12
00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:54,960
Why is Mom mad at the meat?
13
00:00:55,460 --> 00:00:57,200
Oh, hi, honey. How was practice?
14
00:00:57,260 --> 00:01:00,360
Zachary Greenwald accidentally
fell on a sprinkler head
15
00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:01,960
and had to get stitches.
16
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:04,500
It was really cool.
17
00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:08,060
And Matt came very close
to actually kicking the ball.
18
00:01:08,130 --> 00:01:09,160
Didn't you, champ?
19
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:10,930
Oh, yeah.
20
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,660
[MOUTHING] No way.
21
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,800
[SMACKS LIPS] Oh,
Debbie Gotchalk called.
22
00:01:15,860 --> 00:01:17,230
She can't babysit tomorrow night.
23
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,530
Well, is there someone else
we can get?
24
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,800
Oh, oh, don't get that Olivia Skibbit.
25
00:01:21,860 --> 00:01:24,530
She makes us listen
to Country-Western non-stop.
26
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,560
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
27
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,000
Not Mrs. Harvey. She smells dead.
28
00:01:31,060 --> 00:01:32,860
[GRIM ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
29
00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:35,630
Well, we're not going for Tammy
up the street, either,
30
00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:37,600
'cause she makes
more an hour than I do.
31
00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:42,830
No way we're going with Mrs. Jaffy.
32
00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:46,860
Who lets a ten-year-old boy
drink an entire quart of maple syrup?
33
00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,830
[MATT RICOCHETING OFF THE COUNTERS]
34
00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:51,330
I liked her.
35
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,360
Well, we got to find somebody.
36
00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:57,760
Um, well, I was thinking...
I was thinking maybe I could...
37
00:01:57,830 --> 00:01:58,900
[TIRES SCREECHING]
38
00:01:58,960 --> 00:01:59,960
BOTH: Babysit?
39
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,530
Honey, we've talked about this.
40
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:04,800
You know, we just think you're...
41
00:02:04,860 --> 00:02:06,030
You're too young. No.
42
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:09,300
[SCOFFS] When will I be old enough
to trust? When I'm 50?
43
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,760
Maybe. We'll see.
44
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,400
Where's Mrs. Doubtfire
when you need her?
45
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:17,900
Dad, no!
46
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,430
Mm. This isn't cheese, is it?
47
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:23,630
[SMACKING LIPS]
48
00:02:23,700 --> 00:02:24,930
It's candle wax.
49
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,300
[LAUGHING]
50
00:02:28,100 --> 00:02:29,700
[STUTTERS]
51
00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:34,460
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
52
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,830
[BELL RINGING]
53
00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:20,860
I think the perfect town
would be 500 Hot Topic stores
54
00:03:20,930 --> 00:03:22,460
and a ten-story shopping mall.
55
00:03:22,530 --> 00:03:24,760
[SCOFFS] Design a model community,
56
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:28,700
including housing, hospitals, schools
and police, and fire departments.
57
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:30,730
Police and fire departments.
58
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:32,430
Housing, hospitals and schools.
59
00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:35,030
We'll call it Boringville, USA.
60
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,700
Where do they come up
with these moronic assignments?
61
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,800
The Moronic Assignment Study Guide.
It's like this thick.
62
00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:42,060
-[MIRANDA SCOFFS]
-Let me guess,
63
00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:43,630
that's how tall Tom Cruise is.
64
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:47,200
[SCOFFS] Tom Cruise isn't short.
He just has small bones.
65
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:50,560
Okay, Gordo.
Imagine you live in a boring suburb,
66
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:53,160
where all the houses look alike
and everybody's predictable.
67
00:03:53,430 --> 00:03:55,200
I do live in a boring suburb
68
00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:58,630
where all the houses look alike
and everyone's predictable. Thank you.
69
00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:00,330
Okay, but if you could pick
any business
70
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,100
you wanted on Main Street,
what would it be?
71
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,460
A bookstore containing the works
of Navajo and Greek philosophers.
72
00:04:05,530 --> 00:04:08,700
A coffee house where people
only discuss music and politics.
73
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:10,830
A 1,000-foot water slide
ending in a swim-up counter
74
00:04:10,930 --> 00:04:13,030
where they serve
free deep-fried pizza,
75
00:04:13,100 --> 00:04:15,000
and Tyra Banks would be the mayor.
76
00:04:17,260 --> 00:04:18,660
I've given this a lot of thought.
77
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,130
Hey, Gordo, do you know
where the nearest Software Shack is?
78
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,860
Yeah, it's over on Collins Street.
79
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,160
Would they have that software
80
00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:27,760
that designs cities
and towns and stuff?
81
00:04:27,830 --> 00:04:30,200
You mean CyberTown Maker? They should.
82
00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:32,960
Okay. Kate, we're supposed
to do this assignment ourselves.
83
00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:34,030
Whatever.
84
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:35,330
You're supposed
to use your imagination.
85
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,000
Not have some computer do it for you.
86
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:40,500
Gordo, why didn't you tell me
there was a program like that?
87
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,100
Well, it costs 60 bucks.
I don't think you can afford it.
88
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,830
Hello! I babysat twice last week.
89
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:49,730
-[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
-But my nails are wet.
90
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,900
-[BABY WAILING]
-[FIRE ENGINE SIREN WAILING]
91
00:04:53,130 --> 00:04:54,930
Twenty, forty, sixty.
92
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,960
Oh, look! I have more. [CHUCKLES]
93
00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:02,200
Kate babysits?
94
00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:05,000
Since when does Kate babysit?
95
00:05:05,060 --> 00:05:07,500
Ugh, why don't they just
make her Queen of the World,
96
00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:08,760
and be done with it?
97
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,660
Babysitting sounds like
a pretty sweet gig.
98
00:05:10,730 --> 00:05:12,130
Why don't you do it?
99
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,330
[CHUCKLES] I don't babysit.
100
00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:15,960
I get babysat.
101
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,100
MRS. HARVEY: Coochie-coo!
102
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,260
And plus, babysitting jobs
are hard to get.
103
00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:24,030
Parents want to make sure
you're "mature enough."
104
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:28,400
Well, I guess Kate, sort of,
does give off some visual signals,
105
00:05:28,460 --> 00:05:31,830
which imply
a biologically nurturing capability.
106
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:34,260
We get it, Gordo. She's stacked.
107
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,400
Yes. Yes, she is.
108
00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:40,030
[SCOFFS] I don't get it.
I mean, I'm just the same age as Kate.
109
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:42,900
I'm just as mature as she is.
I'm responsible.
110
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,760
And I want to babysit!
111
00:05:47,730 --> 00:05:49,100
Absolutely not.
112
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,360
But Kate Sanders babysits.
113
00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:52,930
[GASPS] She does?
114
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,200
[SIGHS]
115
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:56,560
Uh, I mean, she-she does, huh?
116
00:05:57,060 --> 00:06:00,730
Yes. And you haven't found
a sitter for tonight.
117
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,800
And you expect me to ride
a bus to school all by myself.
118
00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:05,600
Why can't you trust me to babysit?
119
00:06:05,660 --> 00:06:07,000
[SIGHS] Hmm.
120
00:06:07,060 --> 00:06:09,300
-I think I'm getting a nibble here.
-[WATER SPLASHING]
121
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,030
Maybe she has a point.
122
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:13,060
And Miranda can help me.
123
00:06:13,130 --> 00:06:14,830
She watches her baby sister
after school.
124
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,060
-[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
-[BABY WAILING]
125
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,160
[GAGS]
126
00:06:17,230 --> 00:06:21,100
Sweetheart, you're just not ready yet.
This is a big responsibility.
127
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,660
Uh, you've always told me I can do,
128
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:25,030
[IMITATES JO] "Anything if I set
my mind to it, honey."
129
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,860
[IN NORMAL VOICE] And I've set
my mind to this. I can do it.
130
00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:29,530
We do say that, Sam.
131
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:30,630
-[WATER SPLASHING]
-Ooh,
132
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:31,930
I'm really getting a nibble here.
133
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,860
But Matt can be quite a handful.
134
00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,630
Matt! What would you do
if Lizzie babysat you?
135
00:06:39,860 --> 00:06:41,000
REPORTER: [ON TV]
In Sports International...
136
00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:44,400
I don't know. Watch TV, I guess.
137
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,430
-Thank you for the help, pal.
-[JO SIGHS]
138
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:55,200
[SIGHS] All right,
maybe we can give this a try.
139
00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:57,130
[JUBILANT MUSIC PLAYS]
140
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,400
[SQUEALS] Thanks, Dad.
141
00:07:00,660 --> 00:07:01,660
[CHUCKLES]
142
00:07:01,730 --> 00:07:03,430
It means a lot to me
that you can trust me.
143
00:07:04,030 --> 00:07:05,330
I'll do a great job.
144
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,300
[SIGHS]
145
00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:21,100
Okay, the Coco Rocks box
will be City Hall.
146
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:22,960
I just ate the Mayor.
147
00:07:23,030 --> 00:07:24,760
[CHUCKLES] It'll go right there.
148
00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:28,030
Lizzie, I added some numbers
to the emergency phone list.
149
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:30,460
Also, I've moved all the cleaners out
from under the kitchen sink.
150
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:33,260
And whatever you do,
do not open the door for anybody.
151
00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:35,160
And I won't follow
the trail of breadcrumbs
152
00:07:35,230 --> 00:07:36,560
to the Gingerbread Witch's house.
153
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,660
Dad, don't worry.
154
00:07:38,730 --> 00:07:40,800
-[SIGHS]
-[DOORBELL RINGS]
155
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:45,160
Hey, Gordo.
156
00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:46,360
Hi, Mrs. McGuire.
157
00:07:46,430 --> 00:07:49,030
My parents said I could come over
if that's okay with you.
158
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:52,000
Oh, sure. But Lizzie and Miranda
are babysitting Matt,
159
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:53,960
so I don't know how much fun
you're gonna have.
160
00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:56,800
Oh, I know. I'm not about fun.
I'm about the green.
161
00:07:57,830 --> 00:07:59,600
-Lizzie?
-Money.
162
00:07:59,660 --> 00:08:00,960
I'm gonna earn my money indoors,
163
00:08:01,030 --> 00:08:03,460
sitting on a sofa,
eating someone else's popcorn.
164
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,360
Hey, that's mine.
165
00:08:06,530 --> 00:08:08,830
Lizzie, Matt's bedtime
is nine o'clock.
166
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:10,460
Yes, Dad, I know.
167
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:14,730
Dad, listen,
everything's under control.
168
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,360
I've got it all handled, okay?
169
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,260
Okay, now, both our cell phones
are charged
170
00:08:18,330 --> 00:08:19,960
and we're trusting you, Lizzie.
171
00:08:20,030 --> 00:08:21,900
Whoa, can I hear that again?
172
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,100
Both our cell phones are charged?
173
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,730
No, no, no. The other part.
174
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:26,730
We're trusting you.
175
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,360
Yeah, that.
176
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:33,030
Ta-da! After 13 years, trust.
177
00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:34,960
Thanks, Dad.
178
00:08:35,930 --> 00:08:37,560
-Okay.
-[LIZZIE CHUCKLES]
179
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,330
Wow, for the first time in my life,
I'm in charge.
180
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,860
I'm the ranking adult in the house.
I'm Queen of the World!
181
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:51,860
Alone at last.
182
00:08:51,930 --> 00:08:54,760
I don't see why you have
to muscle in on babysitting, Gordo.
183
00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:56,030
This is how we make money.
184
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,930
Why should girls have
a monopoly on babysitting?
185
00:08:58,030 --> 00:09:01,730
Because boys have a monopoly
on burping the Pledge of Allegiance.
186
00:09:02,430 --> 00:09:04,100
We deserve some kind of monopoly.
187
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,030
Hey, I love that game.
I want to be the race car.
188
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:09,730
Tough luck.
You're going to watch Willy Wonka.
189
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,300
I've seen that ten times.
I want to be the race car.
190
00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:14,960
Well, we've got homework.
191
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:18,430
If you'll be patient,
we'll maybe play later, okay?
192
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,460
[SIGHS] All right.
193
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:30,200
-[MATT SPRINGING]
-MATT: Race car, race car, race car...
194
00:09:30,260 --> 00:09:32,460
Race car, race car, race car...
195
00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:34,700
-Anyone got any ideas?
-MATT: ...race car!
196
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,630
-Sorry.
-I got nothing.
197
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:41,300
[IMITATES CAR REVVING]
Race car! Race car!
198
00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,300
There you go, Mr. and Mrs. McGuire.
Your regular table.
199
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,100
Thank you, Mrs. Shin.
200
00:09:50,330 --> 00:09:52,600
Haven't seen you
since the Year of the Tiger.
201
00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:56,100
Yeah, well, it's really hard
to get a reliable babysitter.
202
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,360
Well, glad to have you back.
I'll be back with some wontons.
203
00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:00,530
Thank you.
204
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,430
-Sam, would you please relax?
-Hmm?
205
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,960
It's one night out.
Lizzie can handle it.
206
00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:09,530
[SIGHS]
207
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,760
I mean it.
Everything's going to be fine.
208
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,900
This had better come out
of the carpet, Matt.
209
00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:26,060
What'd you give him grape juice for?
I told you ginger ale.
210
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,130
At least ginger ale isn't purple.
211
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,430
Grape juice was the only thing
that would shut him up.
212
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:31,860
He won't do a thing you say.
213
00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:36,000
[SCOFFS] Matt, go upstairs,
change your shirt and get cleaned up.
214
00:10:36,060 --> 00:10:37,200
-Now.
-No.
215
00:10:37,730 --> 00:10:38,760
See?
216
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,200
Zip it!
217
00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:41,900
Why should I? He won't.
218
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:43,530
Matt, starting right now,
219
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,930
you do everything I tell you
or I'll tell Mom and Dad.
220
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:51,200
Nuh-uh. You want Mom and Dad
to think you're a good babysitter,
221
00:10:51,260 --> 00:10:54,260
so you're going to say
things went great.
222
00:10:54,330 --> 00:10:56,560
Then I'll squash you
like a bug instead.
223
00:10:56,630 --> 00:10:58,560
Then I'll tell Mom and Dad.
224
00:10:58,630 --> 00:11:01,400
Face it. I'm in charge here.
225
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:04,100
No. I am in charge here.
226
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,760
Matt, what do you say we go upstairs,
and find you a clean shirt?
227
00:11:07,830 --> 00:11:08,900
Okay.
228
00:11:09,030 --> 00:11:10,400
[LIZZIE GASPS, SCOFFS]
229
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:13,330
How come he does what you say?
230
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,630
Well, I'm an older male.
He's impressed by me.
231
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:16,760
Well, I'm in charge here,
232
00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:19,460
and he's supposed to do what I say,
not what you say.
233
00:11:19,530 --> 00:11:22,260
Who cares who says to do it?
He needs a new shirt.
234
00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:24,530
He's as sticky as the floor
of a movie theater.
235
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:26,530
Matt, don't lean there!
236
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,460
I'm stuck.
237
00:11:29,030 --> 00:11:31,160
Get off. Matt!
238
00:11:31,930 --> 00:11:35,860
Gosh, it is so nice being out,
just the two of us for a change.
239
00:11:35,930 --> 00:11:37,360
Yep. Nice.
240
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:39,130
-Sam?
-Hmm?
241
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,900
You're turning your chopsticks
into toothpicks.
242
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,460
Want to settle down? You're fidgeting.
243
00:11:43,530 --> 00:11:44,730
No, I'm not.
244
00:11:45,130 --> 00:11:46,160
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
245
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,200
Okay, look,
I just think it was a mistake,
246
00:11:49,260 --> 00:11:51,400
leaving Lizzie in charge.
She's only 13.
247
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:55,260
Yeah, well, she's 13, but I mean,
she never gets in trouble at school.
248
00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:57,660
She gets there and back
all by herself.
249
00:11:57,730 --> 00:11:59,000
I think she's the only one
in the house
250
00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:00,860
who knows how to make
the picture-in-picture work.
251
00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:03,330
Yeah, but she sleeps until noon
on the weekends.
252
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:04,560
She uses the picture-in-picture
253
00:12:04,630 --> 00:12:07,000
to watch MTV and cartoons
at the same time.
254
00:12:08,130 --> 00:12:09,330
I got to go check on her.
255
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,130
[GASPS] No, you do not.
256
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:14,000
Do you know how much it meant to her
that you trusted her?
257
00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:18,400
Okay, I'll tell you what.
I'll just sneak in, look in a window.
258
00:12:18,460 --> 00:12:19,530
She'll never even know I'm there.
259
00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:24,860
Okay. If I let you go,
260
00:12:24,930 --> 00:12:27,930
do you promise me
that you'll come right back here
261
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,260
and eat your meal in peace?
262
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:30,500
Yeah.
263
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:32,960
Okay.
264
00:12:34,230 --> 00:12:35,800
But she'd better not know
you're there.
265
00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:37,660
I swear, she will never forgive you.
266
00:12:37,730 --> 00:12:38,730
Okay!
267
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,230
[SIGHS] And I won't forgive you
till she does.
268
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:51,200
Look! It holds up newspaper.
269
00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,260
Cut it out, Matt.
270
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:58,060
Look! It holds up Mom's cat calendar.
271
00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,760
Gordo, can you get him to quit that?
272
00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:01,730
-You're in charge, you do it.
-Could you at least help?
273
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,230
You didn't come over here
to watch TV on the couch.
274
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:06,330
Fine. I'll watch TV in your room.
275
00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:09,130
Miranda, get me more paper towels.
276
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,030
Pass. I'm building a ten-story
shopping mall for Mirandaville.
277
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:15,060
Well, Mirandaville doesn't need
a ten-story shopping mall.
278
00:13:15,130 --> 00:13:16,430
We need a hospital.
279
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:19,760
Fine. I'll go drink some orange juice,
and make a mall out of that.
280
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,800
Fine! Nobody help me do anything.
281
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:25,330
Look! It holds up Dad's briefcase.
282
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,900
I'll just handle everything by myself.
283
00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:29,300
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
284
00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:35,060
Um, I may need a little help here.
285
00:13:36,930 --> 00:13:38,300
I hate it when Dad's right.
286
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:45,060
[WHISPERS] What's that?
[GASPS] I'm scared.
287
00:13:45,130 --> 00:13:47,860
[IMITATES MONSTER]
"Look at me, I'm a monster!"
288
00:13:47,930 --> 00:13:48,930
[MOCK LAUGHS]
289
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,460
[IMITATES COLE SEAR]
"I see dead people."
290
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:53,830
Cut it out, Matt.
291
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,430
[CHUCKLES]
292
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,200
[DOOR RATTLES]
293
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,900
Ugh! That stinks.
294
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:29,330
It's vanilla. It's soothing.
295
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,660
Works like a charm.
296
00:14:30,730 --> 00:14:32,960
Ugh. Who's burning garbage?
297
00:14:33,030 --> 00:14:34,230
I'm trying to get some light in here,
298
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:36,400
and if you're not going to help me,
you can at least hush up.
299
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:38,700
Don't tell us to hush up.
We're not babies.
300
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,860
[LIZZIE] You're acting like babies.
301
00:14:40,930 --> 00:14:43,830
It's a shame there isn't
a decent babysitter around.
302
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:46,300
I'm sure there'll be
a decent babysitter around next time,
303
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:48,100
'cause I obviously can't handle it.
304
00:15:05,830 --> 00:15:06,900
[GRUNTS]
305
00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:10,530
[GASPS] What was that?
306
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,300
Do you think it's a burglar?
307
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,800
[STAMMERS] Nah.
It's probably just a raccoon.
308
00:15:14,860 --> 00:15:17,200
They root around
in the trash and stuff.
309
00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:19,100
Yeah, probably just a raccoon.
310
00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:22,000
[STAMMERS] Let's make noise,
just in case.
311
00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:24,630
[SINGING RAUCOUSLY]
My country, 'tis of thee
312
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,760
Sweet land of liberty
313
00:15:26,830 --> 00:15:28,930
Of thee, I sing
314
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,800
[STAMMERS] I'm gonna go
and flip the circuit breaker,
315
00:15:31,860 --> 00:15:35,430
so we can play some loud music.
Real music.
316
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:36,700
[BOTH SCOFF]
317
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:38,500
[COUGHING]
318
00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:40,660
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
319
00:15:43,930 --> 00:15:44,930
[HOARSELY] Hello?
320
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,800
What is taking so long?
321
00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:50,130
Uh, all the curtains are shut,
322
00:15:50,530 --> 00:15:52,900
and I can't see in the house.
[COUGHING]
323
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,200
Okay. Just get in there,
324
00:15:55,260 --> 00:15:56,660
pretend you forgot your wallet,
325
00:15:56,730 --> 00:15:59,060
make sure they're okay
and get right out.
326
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,630
[HOARSELY] Gotcha. [COUGHS]
327
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,200
What's wrong with your voice?
328
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:03,830
Uh... [CLEARS THROAT]
329
00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:05,560
[HOARSELY] Lawn gnome.
330
00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,030
[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING]
331
00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:14,260
[EXHALES]
332
00:16:14,330 --> 00:16:16,060
You think it went away, right?
333
00:16:16,130 --> 00:16:18,600
A raccoon wouldn't stick around
through that racket.
334
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:21,030
-[SCREAMS]
-[GASPS]
335
00:16:21,930 --> 00:16:23,830
A raccoon wouldn't do that either.
336
00:16:24,060 --> 00:16:26,330
[IN A HOARSE VOICE]
Kids, open up! It's me.
337
00:16:27,430 --> 00:16:28,660
It is a burglar. Matt!
338
00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:29,860
Lizzie!
339
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,600
[YELLING]
340
00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:38,000
-[BONES CRACK]
-[SCREAMING]
341
00:16:42,430 --> 00:16:43,900
That ought to drive him away.
342
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:48,100
Lizzie! [BREATHES HEAVILY]
I'm really scared.
343
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,430
It's okay.
344
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,930
I'm not going to let
anything happen to you, okay?
345
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,430
We're gonna call the police.
346
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,130
[SIGHS]
347
00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:01,900
You know, I have a cousin.
Knows how to treat a lady.
348
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,460
Oh, Mrs. Shin,
my husband didn't leave me.
349
00:17:04,530 --> 00:17:07,360
I mean, he left me, but, you know,
he didn't leave me.
350
00:17:07,930 --> 00:17:09,900
Oh, yeah, you're keeping your chin up.
351
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:13,200
Brave, [SIGHS]
brave little soldier girl.
352
00:17:13,260 --> 00:17:14,560
[GONG SOUNDING]
353
00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:17,300
-[GRUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
-[DIALING]
354
00:17:19,030 --> 00:17:20,430
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
355
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,100
-Hello?
-[HOARSELY] It's me.
356
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:26,630
It's him.
357
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:28,660
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
358
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,130
I'm at home.
359
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,360
He knows that we're alone.
360
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,300
[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]
361
00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:38,960
SAM: Come on, kids.
362
00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:41,830
[ALL SCREAMING]
363
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:45,730
It's worse! He's at the door.
364
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,030
Gordo, Miranda,
get the train transformer.
365
00:17:57,860 --> 00:17:58,860
Now!
366
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,400
[GRUNTING AND SHUDDERING]
367
00:18:04,460 --> 00:18:05,900
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
368
00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:07,860
[GRUNTING]
369
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:09,830
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
370
00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:13,400
[GRUNTING]
371
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:25,260
[RASPING] Lawn gnome.
372
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:32,000
[PANTING HEAVILY]
373
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,060
You can babysit for me anytime.
374
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,860
Let's get through tonight first, okay?
375
00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:41,660
-[SCREAMS]
-[GASPS]
376
00:18:43,500 --> 00:18:44,660
[GASPS] Gordo, get the train.
377
00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:47,330
Miranda, fill the paint can
with flour, now! Come on, come on.
378
00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:02,500
[LAUGHS] Yeah!
379
00:19:03,830 --> 00:19:05,800
That was some fast
popsicle eating, Matt.
380
00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:07,660
[PANTING] Thanks.
381
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:10,530
I have a major brain freeze.
382
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,430
[TRAIN HORN TOOTING]
383
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:23,760
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
384
00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:25,100
Dad?
385
00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:33,830
You guys have to trust me.
386
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:36,030
You have no idea how much that hurts.
387
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:37,500
Oh, my gosh.
388
00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:39,560
Your poor father.
389
00:19:39,900 --> 00:19:41,330
[GROANS IN PAIN]
390
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:46,030
We are so in trouble.
391
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,600
[GROANS, GRUNTS]
392
00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:51,500
He was supposed to trust me.
393
00:19:51,930 --> 00:19:54,460
Well, if he was spying on you,
394
00:19:54,530 --> 00:19:58,630
and I admit, it does look like he was,
I think he suffered enough.
395
00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:00,460
[POLICE CAR SIREN WAILING]
396
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,400
OFFICER: [OVER SPEAKER]
Sir, put your hands on your head
397
00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:05,130
and don't move.
398
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,300
[POLICE RADIO CRACKLING]
399
00:20:07,730 --> 00:20:10,900
I'm telling you, officer,
I live here. My kids are inside.
400
00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:14,460
I just came home to check on 'em.
401
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:16,600
Yes?
402
00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:19,430
Hello, young lady.
Is this man your father?
403
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,930
I don't know. Why would my father
be sneaking around
404
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,730
in the bushes late at night?
405
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,560
Maybe that means he doesn't trust me.
406
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:27,460
Lizzie...
407
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:30,330
It's my father.
408
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,300
Good night, sir.
409
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,800
And by the way,
your lawn gnome's broken.
410
00:20:39,230 --> 00:20:41,060
You were supposed to trust me.
411
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:42,500
Yes, we were,
412
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,230
and we didn't stick to our word,
and we were wrong.
413
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:49,000
They're admitting
they were wrong? What?
414
00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:50,960
Call the news crew. Film at 11:00.
415
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:53,630
It's not that I
don't trust you, sweetheart.
416
00:20:54,130 --> 00:20:58,000
I guess, I [SIGHS] still just think
of you as the six-year-old girl
417
00:20:58,060 --> 00:21:01,460
that used to need me to chase
the monsters out of her closet.
418
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,930
I guess I have to get used to the fact
419
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,530
that you're not
that little girl anymore.
420
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:09,060
You're becoming a young lady,
and I have to let you act like one.
421
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,800
[CHUCKLES] So I can go on a real date?
422
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:14,160
No.
423
00:21:14,530 --> 00:21:16,330
-Will you teach me how to drive?
-No.
424
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,530
Can I dye my hair?
425
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:20,400
-No.
-Well, what can I do?
426
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,830
You can babysit Matt
next Saturday night.
427
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,100
Yeah.
428
00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:28,500
So the more responsibility I ask for,
429
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,830
the more responsibility
I get stuck with.
430
00:21:31,700 --> 00:21:33,660
That stinks, I think.
431
00:21:39,330 --> 00:21:40,600
-MAN: Mark.
-LIZZIE: That'd be so cool.
432
00:21:42,130 --> 00:21:43,530
[LAUGHING]
433
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:44,630
[GIGGLES]
434
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,330
[GRUNTING]
435
00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:49,060
Ow!
436
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,530
Wow, for the first time in my life,
I'm in charge.
437
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:56,130
I'm the ranking adult in the house.
I'm Queen of the World!
438
00:21:59,230 --> 00:22:00,460
MAN: Okay, we got it.
439
00:22:02,630 --> 00:22:04,630
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]