Koi seyo shounen shoujo tachi
Kirari hitomi ni hoshi irete
Umareta manma no jounetsu ga
Hibana chirasu Jungle Haré nochi Guu!
Mekurumeku koshitsuki MUCHO
Kodomo nya kiwadoi AMIGO
Kisu shitara suikomaresou
Kowai mono mitasa TONIGHT
Ojikeduitara dame
Oshite osarete GOING
Dokkiri kibun ga iine
Chakkari asa made DANCING
LOVE LOVE LOVE
TROPICANA
Yashi no kokage de tsukamaete
Jirashite tokoton tokoton
Gomen ne anata wa mou toriko
Nigerarenai Jungle Haré nochi Guu!
Koi seyo shounen shoujo tachi
Kirari hitomi ni hoshi irete
Umareta manma no jounetsu ga
Hibana chirasu Jungle Haré nochi Guu!
Ojou-sama, Haré-sama, please wake up!
It's breakfast time!
Ojou-sama?
Wendy, Age 17
Now, eat up!
I don't want any... I've got no appetite.
I'm in pain...
I'm sorry, me too...
Oh, I see...
You don't have an appetite, you're in pain, and you too...
Wait, Ojou-sama, what's wrong? Where does it hurt?
Ashio! Ojou-sama's in danger!
Ojou-sama!
I'm going to die...
Get a hold of yourself, Ojou-sama!
Senpai, you have to leave people alone when they have a hangover.
Why are you so calm? Hurry up and call a doctor!
Our lady is about to die from a hangover...
A hangover?
Ojou-san, all things considered, you've been drinking too much lately.
Now that you've mentioned it, I can smell the alcohol...
But, it can't be that Haré-sama also...
Bocchan's just been playing too many games.
Bulls-eye.
Oh, no, that's not good. Drinking too much is bad for you.
You're so weak.
Guu feels perfectly fine, even after swallowing 10 or 20 people.
That's not the same "swallow" we're talking about!
In the first place, what do you mean, 10 or 20 people?!
Have you ever drank before!?
Well, let's try...
You don't have to try! I'm sorry for doubting you. Stop it!
Unhealthy living is the cause of all illness.
We have to fix this.
Actually, it's all because of you two, Bell and Ashio.
My work - cleaning, laundry - all done by you two.
Come on, almost all of those were my chores...
And thanks to that, I've gotten super-bored, and end up drinking too much.
Oh, I hate this, I really hate this...
But, oh well, I can't say such a thing to their face.
Ashio! Ojou-sama is saying that it's your fault! Do something about it!
She just said that it was both our fault...
Don't talk back to me!
You have to think of an Ojou-sama Health Plan.
Ashio, you lead a very unhealthy life, too...
What are you doing?
This is the latest fad - something called "hanging to be healthy."
I don't know if it's a fad or not, but I'm sure that the way you're doing it is wrong!
Oh, while you're at it, can you get me the dictionary, Ravenna?
Geez, you should look for it yourself.
My head is finally staring to clear up...
You brats, you heard that second period today was your health exam, right?
What I hate more than anything else is to not have my work go smoothly...
...because of someone else's incompetence!
I'll wait for 10 more minutes.
10 minutes. You guys better come immediately.
If you make me wait any longer than that, I won't be responsible for what happens.
So scary...
Since he's so angry, we're already in a bad situation...
But, a health exam?
Did you know about it?
I didn't know.
Didn't anyone hear about it?
If anyone did, I think it would be my big brother.
Geez... it's all thanks to Lazy forgetting to tell us.
Jeez, Sensei, you better tell the doc that us students aren't to blame!
I think the problem is simpler than forgetting to tell us.
You know...
Wake up!
Hey!
Is he really asleep?
D-Damn you!
Hey, this is no time for us to be playing around with our teacher!
That's true. We better hurry over... I'm scared of what's to come if we didn't.
Hurry up, and split up by gender.
For now, why don't we have the boys go first?
All right, let's go.
Wait a minute.
Why did Guu tell us just now to have the boys go first?
Think hard, Haré!
When has Guu ever coerced me into doing anything without an ulterior motive?
No! Every single time, she's always had a secret agenda!
What is it? What is it?
What's she up to this time?
I get it.
Wait a minute, guys.
What is it? We have to hurry, or that school doc...
Exactly! The doctor...
Right now, he's at the peak of his anger, right?
If the boys were to go first while he's in such a mood...
Don't you think his mood would get worse, and we'd be in a big mess?
I see.
But, if the girls are first...
I think it'd be better if the girls went first, to calm him down.
I see!
I won...
All right, let's have the girls go first.
Come on, go.
Don't be wasting time here, hurry up and get going.
You're so cruel, Haré.
We don't know what he's going to do to us, but you're making us go first?
That's right.
I didn't mean it that way...
Shut up! I didn't mean it that way...
After all, we all treasure our own safety the most!
That can't be!
Right?
Haré, I can't believe you think that way!
You're so cruel.
It's as if I was some evil villain or something.
Come on, hurry up and get going.
At the least, be careful to not get anything strange shot into you.
She calculated things this far!?
Then, I guess I'll go enjoy this "health exam" thing...
Impossible... she's going to do something else now!?
So, I don't even get time to be depressed!?
Wait...
What?
You better not do anything uncalled for.
Such as?
For example?
Let's see... like locking up the doc somewhere, and you doing the check-ups...
I see.
Wait, what are you jotting down!?
What is that?
A routine list.
What do you mean, a routine list?
Don't you dare do anything... got that?
Leave it to me.
Hey! You better not do anything!
Sure.
What, you think Guu's gonna do something?
Well, I can't be sure exactly what she's up to...
It's worrying.
Look, look! I made a new camisole!
Oh, it's so cute!
Hurry up and take your clothes off.
Next... Marie.
Now, show me your tongue.
Okay.
Now show me your belly.
Okay, that's good enough.
Nothing wrong...
You guys are so healthy that there's no need for me to do a checkup.
Oh, but this thing doesn't have your blood types written down.
I guess I'll take blood samples just in case...
Oh, and I should measure their height and weight.
That hurt.
Oh, you're up last, Guu.
Next!
Then, I'll go back now to call the boys over.
Now, who's next? Hurry up!
I have to look at them boys after you.
What's the meaning of this?
It's just a small joke. I thought I'd break the ice a bit.
Thanks.
Show me your tongue.
Tongue. You know, your tongue.
You don't get it, do you...
I'm telling you to stick out your tongue!
Come on, out with it!
It's just me. It's just me.
I'm going to use the stethoscope, so can you show me your belly?
Belly?
Yeah, your belly! Come on!
Well, for that outfit, you can just lower the top...
What's with that attitude?
Come on, hurry up, I still have people after you.
Got it? Don't dare do anything!
Seems like the doc wasn't that cranky.
Your plan worked, Haré.
I wonder if it's okay to go in right now.
It's okay, right?
We're coming in!
Huh?
Nobody's here.
Where did the doc run off to?
He's gone?
Could it be?
Hey! Is anyone here?
U-Um, where's our school doctor?
He had an errand to run, so he's not here right now...
Hey, she's really pretty.
Hey, sis, who are you?
The substitute.
But, was there someone like this here?
Ah! This person...
She looks a lot like...
Sit down right here.
I'm so lucky that such a pretty woman's gonna look over me!
I'm going first!
Take your shirt off.
What's with that, all of a sudden? This is just a normal exam, right?
Show me your tongue.
Isn't that what you use to listen to the heart beating and the stomach churning and stuff?
What are you doing? That's dangerous!
Hey, is she safe?
Who are you?
What was that woman?
She sure ran off fast.
Hey, doc, are you all right?
Hey, doc!
Isn't it impossible for him to do the exam like this?
Doesn't that mean we lucked out?
Let's leave him alone and go back to class!
Are you sure we should?
Yeah, it's fine. Let's go.
Who in the world was that?
She sure was pretty.
Gupta, that's the only thing you've been saying.
Oh, you guys are done already?
Well, yeah.
Where's Guu?
She's not back yet?
She was the last girl to go...
I wonder where she went.
Guu is gone, and that woman appeared...
No, it can't be.
They don't look alike at all!
What am I thinking?
No, wait!
We got this far, so maybe...
Nah, impossible!
Is something wrong?
Oh, maybe Guu already went home.
Class is something that we seem to have, but not really have.
That's true... I guess you're right.
I'm home!
Have I got a story today!
At school...
Then, sit down here.
Sure.
So she did come home ahead of me.
Guu, if you're coming home early, you should say so...
What are you doing?
We're playing doctor.
Now, show me your breasts.
That stethoscope... where did she?
No. It can't be.
A white coat...
When Guu wasn't there, that woman showed up...
...and the stethoscope and the white coat that the lady had on are here...
Which means...
What am I thinking?
That's so ridiculous. Just think about it, Haré.
When Guu was gone, that lady showed up, and that lady's stethoscope and white coat are right here. That means...
Haré and Guu-chan are at school...
I'm so bored!
Beer, beer...
None!
None! None! NONE!
Ashio! Hurry up and do something about it!
Leave it to me.
I have an idea.
Ojou-san...
How about we go to school to pass the time?
School? To do what?
So, off to school we go.
We're gonna be going now!
Let's go buy beer instead!
No can do.
Good morning, Haré.
Morning.
Is something wrong? You look glum.
Eh? That's not true, I'm cheerful and happy!
I see...
It's not something that you can talk to other people about...
Now, come on, get to your seats!
Hey, that's strange. Lazy's awake so early in the morning!
You're right.
Hey, are you mocking your teacher?
When I put my mind to it, something like this is a piece of cake!
Our TV broke last night, so he wasn't able to watch his anime.
Oh, I see.
I thought it was something like that.
Well, we have two new transfer students today.
Marie, did you know about this?
Nope. This is the first time I've heard of it.
All right, you can come in.
Hello! We're the transfer students!
Hold on just a minute there!
Where?
You! You guys!
Can it be that they've figured it out already?
What should we do, Ashio? It's no good after all!
We can do it. It's fine. We just have to work on it a little bit more.
Make sure to give the impression that you're a different person when you introduce yourself.
A-All right.
I'm W-Wendy! I'm 17!
Enough with the jokes...
There's no fooling anyone with that false age...
My hobbies are cleaning my room, redecorating, and cooking!
They are not!
I'm A-Amanda. I'm 15.
There's no 15-year-old that looks like that!
Amanda's a girl's name, right?
Now, the two of you, squeeze into the back row.
Sure!
I'm Wendy! Nice to meet you!
Now, Mom, what did you come here for?
Why don't you hurry up and go ho...
I'm so jealous that your mom comes all the way to school!
That's true!
I can't tell her...
Really, I'm so jealous.
Argh, she sounds so false...
Really, Mom, what did you come here for, dressed up like that?
I thought I'd take the health exam.
H...Health exam!?
That means, you're going to be looked over by that doctor!?
That would be the case, yes.
Now, let's have a look here!
Take your top off.
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!
But the health exam was yesterday, right?
That's right.
There isn't one today.
Oh, but today, we're having the exam for the boys that we didn't finish yesterday.
B-B-B-B-B-But, Mom is a woman...
Who's your mom?
Dunno, who could it be?
She's going to push this 17-year-old Wendy thing to the end, isn't she...
B-But, Wendy's a girl!
There's no need to worry about that.
He's going to look over the transfer students first.
Her? First? Alone!?
Doc and Mom alone together...
Wendy, you drink too much so I'm worried about your liver. Make sure to get a thorough exam.
That's true.
Then, first period will be the health exam for the transfer students and the boys.
For everyone else, it's study hall.
Then, I'll head over now.
Now, Ojou-san's health will be taken care of!
But, wouldn't it have been all right to have Dr. Clive look at me personally, instead of doing something like this?
Well, it's all right. It kills time rather well.
That's true.
I'm gonna go to the bathroom...
What's wrong?
Me, too.
I'm heading to the nurse's office...
You're worried about Weda, aren't you?
Then, you're coming with me.
Thanks, that's so reassuring.
Yes, come in.
Welcome...
Weda-chan, what's with that outfit?
Where's the transfer student?
I'm Wendy, 17 years old!
But, I get to examine Weda-chan now that she's all grown up...
Then, sit on that bed over there and wait for a bit.
Sure!
All right! I haven't had anything good happen to me lately!
W-What should I do?
If I don't do anything, Mom will fall victim to that perverted school doc...
What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do!?
All alone with Weda-chan!
This is the perfect chance for me to start a wonderful relationship!
But, this would be the time, of all times, for HER to show up...
No, I'm thinking too much, it's just me...
Doctor?
Oh, sorry about that, then...
...take your top off and sit here.
W-W-W-What should I do? What should I do? What should I do!?
All right, then get in their way. W-W-W-What should I do? What should I do? What should I do!?
She's here!
I-I-I-It must be that old hag! I'm sure of it!
Oh, you mean old Dama?
You're so popular, Doctor.
It would be bad for me to interfere, so I guess I should go home.
You've got to be kidding!
She gives me nothing but trouble!
What are you doing, Guu!?
They'll catch on that I followed them here!
It's bad for them to find out?
If you're so troubled by her, why don't you tell her outright?
I do. But she doesn't listen to what others have to say.
Then, how about you make sure she sees you being intimate with someone else?
That shows that you're not interested in her.
There's nobody close to me that I can ask for that!
It doesn't have to be a human...
...it can be a dog, a cat, even a monkey.
You can pretend you're not interested in humans.
I'm going to get mad at you if you're being serious...
That's right, Weda-chan, you can help me pretend!
Me!?
My future is riding on this!
You can act it all out, so please!
Geez! If Mom found out I was doing something like this, she'd definitely get angry!
Then, should we leave them alone?
T-That's not what I'm saying, though.
Mom hates people sneaking around more than anything else.
Then, we don't have to sneak around.
Weda.
Weda, you have such beautiful hair.
It's so shiny and sexy.
I want to hold you as soon as I can.
Oh no, Clive, your bleached hair is damaged just the right amount, it's wonderful.
I love you.
Mom...
This can't be...
You were that kind of woman!?
Wait, is that the right thing for a son to be saying?
I'm gonna ditch school and join a gang!
That is the right thing for a child to be saying.
Let's continue where we left off, Weda-chan.
Go after him, Weda.
Guu-chan...
You have something to tell Haré, right?
Guu-chan...
You're right.
Wait, Haré!
Guu-chan told me that I had something worth chasing you to tell you...
Guu did?
Mom...
So it's all a misunderstanding.
If you're going home, can you buy some liquor on the way back?
We're all out.
I'm counting on you!
Happy ending!
Absolutely not!
NEXT EPISODE
It's hard to get to sleep, I feel rather closed in...
Wait a minute! Doc, why are you sleeping in our bed!?
Eh? That old barber woman is stalking you again?
I don't care! Get out!
Geez, if I dont do something about this, he might hook up with Mom while he's staying all day in our house...
Geez, if I don't do something about this, he might hook up with Mom while he's staying all day in our house...
I sense something bad about this!
Eh? I should just hook the doc up with someone else?
That's a good idea, but...
Oh, there's one person head-over-heels for that doc...
It's somewhat close to a taboo, but I guess I'll go with that.
Yargh! D-Don't come near me!
Next episode of Haré+Guu:
Love, Love Grandpa DELUXE