1
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,467
[***]

2
00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:09,934
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *

3
00:00:09,934 --> 00:00:12,567
* And we're zany to the max *

4
00:00:12,567 --> 00:00:14,334
* So just sit back and relax *

5
00:00:14,334 --> 00:00:16,100
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *

6
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:18,467
* We're Animaniacs *

7
00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:20,167
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *

8
00:00:20,167 --> 00:00:21,968
* And the Warner
Sister, Dot *

9
00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:24,868
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *

10
00:00:24,868 --> 00:00:27,501
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *

11
00:00:27,501 --> 00:00:29,100
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *

12
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:30,434
* And now you know the plot *

13
00:00:30,434 --> 00:00:32,868
* We're Animaniacs *

14
00:00:32,868 --> 00:00:35,934
 * Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

15
00:00:35,934 --> 00:00:37,267
 * Wakko packs away the snacks *

16
00:00:37,267 --> 00:00:38,868
* We pay tons of income tax *

17
00:00:38,868 --> 00:00:41,033
* We're Animaniacs *

18
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,367
 * Meet Pinky and the Brain *

19
00:00:43,367 --> 00:00:44,868
 * Who want to rule
 The universe *

20
00:00:44,868 --> 00:00:46,234
 * Goodfeathers flock together *

21
00:00:46,234 --> 00:00:47,734
 * Slappy whacks 'em
 With her purse *

22
00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:48,968
 * Buttons chases Mindy *

23
00:00:48,968 --> 00:00:50,601
 * While Rita sings a verse *

24
00:00:50,601 --> 00:00:52,334
* The writers flipped
We have no script *

25
00:00:52,334 --> 00:00:53,467
* Why bother to rehearse? *

26
00:00:53,467 --> 00:00:56,200
* We're Animaniacs *

27
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,133
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *

28
00:00:59,133 --> 00:01:00,534
* We're zany to the max *

29
00:01:00,534 --> 00:01:02,200
* There's bologna
In our slacks *

30
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,667
* We're Animan-y *

31
00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:05,167
* Totally insane-y *

32
00:01:05,167 --> 00:01:06,701
* Here's the flame-y *

33
00:01:06,701 --> 00:01:08,701
* Animaniacs *

34
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:10,367
* Those are the facts *

35
00:01:12,934 --> 00:01:15,167
[***]

36
00:01:19,267 --> 00:01:21,400
[***]

37
00:01:24,601 --> 00:01:26,234
* Hi, ho, do you know *

38
00:01:26,234 --> 00:01:27,868
* The names of
The U.S. residents *

39
00:01:27,868 --> 00:01:29,701
* Who then became
The presidents *

40
00:01:29,701 --> 00:01:31,400
* And got a view
From the White House loo *

41
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,901
* Of Pennsylvania Avenue *

42
00:01:33,901 --> 00:01:35,133
[FLUSHES]

43
00:01:36,634 --> 00:01:38,701
* George Washington
Was the first you see *

44
00:01:38,701 --> 00:01:40,400
* He once chopped down
A cherry tree *

45
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,868
* President number two
Would be *

46
00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:43,701
* John Adams and then
Number three *

47
00:01:43,701 --> 00:01:45,567
YAKKO:
 * Tom Jefferson stayed up
 To write *

48
00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:47,033
 * The Declaration
 Late at night *

49
00:01:47,033 --> 00:01:48,734
 * So he and his wife
 Had a great big fight *

50
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:51,067
* And she made him sleep
On the couch all night *

51
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:54,601
* James Madison never had a son
And he fought the War of 1812 *

52
00:01:54,601 --> 00:01:57,767
* James Monroe's colossal nose
Was bigger than Pinocchio's *

53
00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:59,434
* John Quincy Adams
Was number six *

54
00:01:59,434 --> 00:02:01,200
* And it's Andrew Jackson's butt
He kicks *

55
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,801
* So Jackson learns
To play politics *

56
00:02:02,801 --> 00:02:05,334
* Next time he's the one
That the country picks *

57
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:06,801
* Martin Van Buren
Number eight *

58
00:02:06,801 --> 00:02:08,901
* For a one-term shot
As chief of state *

59
00:02:08,901 --> 00:02:10,567
* William Harrison
How do you praise? *

60
00:02:10,567 --> 00:02:11,968
* That guy was dead
In 30 days *

61
00:02:11,968 --> 00:02:13,601
* John Tyler
He liked country folk *

62
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,367
* And after him
Came President Polk *

63
00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:16,767
* Zachary Taylor
Liked to smoke *

64
00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:18,767
* His breath killed friends
Whenever he spoke *

65
00:02:18,767 --> 00:02:21,834
* 1850, really nifty
Millard Fillmore's in *

66
00:02:21,834 --> 00:02:23,534
* Young and fierce
Was Franklin Pierce *

67
00:02:23,534 --> 00:02:25,167
* The man without a chin *

68
00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:26,934
* Follows next
A period spannin' *

69
00:02:26,934 --> 00:02:28,601
* Four long years
With James Buchanan *

70
00:02:28,601 --> 00:02:30,400
* Then the South
Starts shooting cannon *

71
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,267
* And we've got a civil war *

72
00:02:32,267 --> 00:02:34,801
ALL:
* A war, a war down south
in Dixie *

73
00:02:34,801 --> 00:02:36,400
 [DINGING]

74
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:39,868
* Up to bat
Comes old Abe Lincoln *

75
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,667
* There's a guy who's
Really thinkin' *

76
00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:43,434
* Kept the United States
From shrinkin' *

77
00:02:43,434 --> 00:02:45,834
* Saved the ship of state
From sinkin' *

78
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:51,133
* Andrew Johnson's next
He had some slight defects *

79
00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:52,801
* Congress each
Would impeach *

80
00:02:52,801 --> 00:02:54,400
* And so the country
Now elects *

81
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,934
* Ulysses Simpson Grant *

82
00:02:55,934 --> 00:02:57,701
* Who would scream and rave
And rant *

83
00:02:57,701 --> 00:02:59,601
* While drinking whiskey
Although risky *

84
00:02:59,601 --> 00:03:01,467
* 'Cause he'd spill it
On his pants *

85
00:03:01,467 --> 00:03:04,567
* It's 1877 and the Democrats
Would gloat *

86
00:03:04,567 --> 00:03:06,634
* But they're all amazed
When Rutherford Hayes *

87
00:03:06,634 --> 00:03:08,067
* Wins just by one vote *

88
00:03:08,067 --> 00:03:09,901
* James Garfield someone
Really hated *

89
00:03:09,901 --> 00:03:11,701
* 'Cause he was
Assassinated *

90
00:03:11,701 --> 00:03:13,100
* Chester Arthur
Gets instated *

91
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,567
* Four years later
He was traded *

92
00:03:15,567 --> 00:03:17,300
* For Grover Cleveland
Really fat *

93
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:19,067
* Elected twice
As a Democrat *

94
00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:20,667
* Then Benjamin Harrison
After that *

95
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,367
* It's William McKinley
At the bat *

96
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:24,234
* Teddy Roosevelt charged up
San Juan Hill *

97
00:03:24,234 --> 00:03:25,801
* And President Taft
He got the bill *

98
00:03:25,801 --> 00:03:31,634
* In 1913 Woodrow Wil...son
Takes us into World War I *

99
00:03:31,634 --> 00:03:33,801
[***]

100
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,901
* Warren Harding
Next in line *

101
00:03:42,901 --> 00:03:44,901
* It's Calvin Coolidge
He does fine *

102
00:03:44,901 --> 00:03:47,968
* And then in 1929, the market
crashes, and we find *

103
00:03:47,968 --> 00:03:49,667
* It's Herbert Hoover's
Big debut *

104
00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:51,367
* He gets the blame
And loses to *

105
00:03:51,367 --> 00:03:52,767
* Franklin Roosevelt *

106
00:03:52,767 --> 00:03:55,567
* President who helped us win
In World War II *

107
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:57,100
* Harry Truman
Weird little human *

108
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,901
* Serves two terms
And when he's done *

109
00:03:58,901 --> 00:04:02,234
* It's Eisenhower who's got
The power from '53 to '61 *

110
00:04:02,234 --> 00:04:03,734
* John Kennedy
Had Camelot *

111
00:04:03,734 --> 00:04:05,567
* Then Lyndon Johnson
Took his spot *

112
00:04:05,567 --> 00:04:07,234
* Richard Nixon
He gets caught *

113
00:04:07,234 --> 00:04:09,534
* And Gerald Ford
Fell down a lot *

114
00:04:09,534 --> 00:04:11,234
* Jimmy Carter
Liked camping trips *

115
00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:13,033
* And Ronald Reagan's
Speeches' scripts *

116
00:04:13,033 --> 00:04:14,534
* All came from famous
Movie clips *

117
00:04:14,534 --> 00:04:16,300
* And President Bush said
"Read my lips" *

118
00:04:16,300 --> 00:04:17,901
* Now in Washington, D.C. *

119
00:04:17,901 --> 00:04:19,701
* There's Democrats
And the GOP *

120
00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:21,400
* But the ones in charge
Are plain to see *

121
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,601
DOT:
* The Clintons
Bill and Hillary *

122
00:04:24,601 --> 00:04:27,567
* The next president
To lead the way *

123
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:30,567
* Well, it just might be
Yourself one day *

124
00:04:30,567 --> 00:04:34,167
* Then the press will distort
Everything you say *

125
00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:36,734
ALL:
* So jump in your plane
And fly away *

126
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:37,834
[***]

127
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,567
[***]

128
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:48,334
PINKY:
Gee, Brain,
what do you wanna do tonight?

129
00:04:48,334 --> 00:04:51,033
The same thing we do
every night, Pinky.

130
00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:53,801
Try to take over the world.

131
00:04:56,534 --> 00:04:58,400
* They're Pinky and the Brain *

132
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,767
* Yes, Pinky and the Brain *

133
00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:04,334
 * One is a genius
 The other's insane *

134
00:05:04,334 --> 00:05:06,701
 * They're laboratory mice *

135
00:05:06,701 --> 00:05:08,200
 * Their genes
 Have been spliced *

136
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,100
* They're dinky
They're Pinky and the Brain *

137
00:05:11,100 --> 00:05:13,667
* Brain, brain, brain, brain *

138
00:05:18,767 --> 00:05:21,067
[***]

139
00:05:26,100 --> 00:05:27,934
NARRATOR:
 The American colonies.

140
00:05:27,934 --> 00:05:31,667
 A land of hope and opportunity
 for the many who came here.

141
00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:33,667
 Some came
 For religious freedom.

142
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,701
 Some came for adventure.

143
00:05:35,701 --> 00:05:39,267
I'm hunting wedcoats.
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee.

144
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:42,868
 And some came
 to take over the world.

145
00:05:42,868 --> 00:05:46,367
At last, Pinky,
a new world to conquer.

146
00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:48,567
Egad, Brain!

147
00:05:48,567 --> 00:05:49,801
What is it, Pinky?

148
00:05:49,801 --> 00:05:52,501
I forgot to turn off
the lights in the old world.

149
00:05:52,501 --> 00:05:53,834
[MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

150
00:05:53,834 --> 00:05:56,667
Look, Brain.
An Indian uprising.

151
00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:58,567
Those aren't
real Indians, Pinky.

152
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,133
The colonists
are revolting.

153
00:06:00,133 --> 00:06:01,434
Oh, I don't know,
Brain.

154
00:06:01,434 --> 00:06:03,501
Heh. I think those costumes
are rather fetching

155
00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:05,200
in a neo-primitive
sort of way.

156
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,634
I'm going to
have to hurt you

157
00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:09,400
in a neo-primitive
sort of way, Pinky.

158
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,734
MAN:
We won't pay the British tax.

159
00:06:11,734 --> 00:06:13,234
[ALL YELLING]

160
00:06:13,234 --> 00:06:14,834
Those colonists
are opposing

161
00:06:14,834 --> 00:06:17,200
the tyrannical oppression
of Great Britain.

162
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,901
They're carried away
with the spirit of independence.

163
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,834
Narf! Don't look
now, Brain,

164
00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:24,167
but I think we're being
carried away.

165
00:06:24,167 --> 00:06:25,801
BOTH:
Whoa!

166
00:06:30,033 --> 00:06:31,601
Mm.

167
00:06:31,601 --> 00:06:33,834
Earl Grey, Brain.
My favorite.

168
00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:35,067
Heh. Needs sugar.

169
00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:36,734
One lump or two?

170
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,634
[LAUGHS]

171
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,667
Oh, I love that
stupid joke.

172
00:06:43,801 --> 00:06:45,434
[***]

173
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,968
At last, Pinky, after a year
of watching and waiting,

174
00:06:50,968 --> 00:06:53,968
it is time to put
my plan into action.

175
00:06:53,968 --> 00:06:56,367
You mean we're finally going
to learn to harmonize,

176
00:06:56,367 --> 00:06:58,667
get a choreographer
and move to Detroit?

177
00:06:58,667 --> 00:07:01,100
BOTH:
* Ooh *

178
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,701
* La-la-la-la *

179
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,834
No, Pinky. I'm talking
about my plan.

180
00:07:08,834 --> 00:07:10,701
Narf! Oh, right.

181
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:13,868
I am finally going to ascend
to my rightful position

182
00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:15,901
in this budding democracy:

183
00:07:15,901 --> 00:07:17,400
emperor.

184
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,801
Take note,
Pinky.

185
00:07:18,801 --> 00:07:20,133
Mr. Jefferson
over there

186
00:07:20,133 --> 00:07:22,634
is writing the Declaration
of Independence.

187
00:07:22,634 --> 00:07:24,901
All the governing principles
of the new nation

188
00:07:24,901 --> 00:07:26,434
are being put
into that document.

189
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:29,033
Egad, Brain!

190
00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:30,934
Oh. too bad
it doesn't say anything

191
00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:32,567
about you
being the leader.

192
00:07:32,567 --> 00:07:36,000
Pinky. Are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

193
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,934
I think so, Brain.
Poit.

194
00:07:37,934 --> 00:07:39,601
But where do you
stick the feather

195
00:07:39,601 --> 00:07:40,767
and call it macaroni?

196
00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:46,033
Simply in your hat.

197
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:51,267
[***]

198
00:07:51,267 --> 00:07:53,033
We shall surreptitiously
replace

199
00:07:53,033 --> 00:07:55,767
their Declaration of
Independence with this:

200
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,200
The Declaration
of Obedience.

201
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,000
"We hold these truths
to be self-evident

202
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,934
"that a mouse named Brain
shall be our leader.

203
00:08:03,934 --> 00:08:07,167
"That's B-R-A-I-N.

204
00:08:07,167 --> 00:08:08,667
Hurrah!"

205
00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:11,100
Ooh, I love that
"Hurrah" part, Brain.

206
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:13,200
Hurrah!
[GIGGLES]

207
00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:15,200
It's not too flowery, is it?

208
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:16,734
Oh, no.
Just right.

209
00:08:16,734 --> 00:08:18,200
Do you think they'll
mind the part

210
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,734
about changing the currency
to cheese balls?

211
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:23,801
Once this nation's Founding
Fathers unwittingly sign it,

212
00:08:23,801 --> 00:08:25,534
they'll have no choice.

213
00:08:25,534 --> 00:08:26,801
Hurrah!

214
00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:31,067
BRAIN:
Everything is in place, Pinky.

215
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:34,367
In a few minutes, we will change
the course of history.

216
00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:35,868
Now, pay careful attention.

217
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,701
Step one:

218
00:08:38,701 --> 00:08:41,601
I will climb to the shelf
above the signing table.

219
00:08:41,601 --> 00:08:43,434
Step two:

220
00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:45,100
You launch the document,

221
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:48,567
the trajectory of which
I have meticulously calculated.

222
00:08:48,567 --> 00:08:50,033
Step three:

223
00:08:50,033 --> 00:08:52,300
As I swing down
toward the table,

224
00:08:52,300 --> 00:08:56,434
I'll catch the ersatz document
in midair and make the switch.

225
00:08:56,434 --> 00:09:00,334
Egad, Brain, brilliant.
Wait. Oh, no, no.

226
00:09:00,334 --> 00:09:01,968
Won't they see
what you're doing?

227
00:09:01,968 --> 00:09:03,501
Not at all, Pinky.

228
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:06,334
They are all wearing
those ridiculous bifocals

229
00:09:06,334 --> 00:09:08,534
invented by Ben Franklin.

230
00:09:08,534 --> 00:09:10,434
You can't see a thing
through them.

231
00:09:10,434 --> 00:09:11,901
[DOOR OPENS]
[CHATTER]

232
00:09:12,934 --> 00:09:15,000
My moment of destiny
is at hand.

233
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,434
The Continental Congress
delegates are arriving.

234
00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:20,400
I hope this signing goes
quickly, Citizen Adams.

235
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,601
I have to get back to

236
00:09:21,601 --> 00:09:23,667
my experiments
with electricity.

237
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:27,133
Oh, you and your experiments,
Citizen Franklin.

238
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:30,200
Why don't you go
fly a kite? Ha-ha.

239
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,300
Hm.

240
00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:33,467
The Declaration of Independence.

241
00:09:33,467 --> 00:09:36,000
Quickly, Pinky,
get into position.

242
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,901
Oh, I love intrigue.

243
00:09:37,901 --> 00:09:39,934
Hurrah!

244
00:09:39,934 --> 00:09:41,901
[***]

245
00:09:55,834 --> 00:09:57,767
Pinky...now.

246
00:09:58,868 --> 00:10:00,267
[GRUNTING]

247
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,300
[SCREAMS]

248
00:10:04,167 --> 00:10:05,167
Huh?

249
00:10:05,167 --> 00:10:06,200
[THUNDER CRASHING]

250
00:10:07,367 --> 00:10:08,534
[GRUNTS]

251
00:10:12,567 --> 00:10:14,334
Hm.

252
00:10:14,334 --> 00:10:15,634
[GASPS]

253
00:10:15,634 --> 00:10:17,067
Oh, no.

254
00:10:20,868 --> 00:10:22,100
Oh, no.

255
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,033
BRAIN:
My Declaration.

256
00:10:27,033 --> 00:10:28,200
Quickly, Pinky.

257
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,734
We've got to get it back.

258
00:10:29,734 --> 00:10:32,400
What a lovely storm!

259
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,501
Pinky, follow me.

260
00:10:42,868 --> 00:10:44,300
BRAIN:
Yes.

261
00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:46,467
Once I get
this Declaration signed,

262
00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:49,968
I shall be a shining example
of American leadership.

263
00:10:49,968 --> 00:10:51,501
[SQUEALS]

264
00:10:55,234 --> 00:10:56,234
[BOTH GRUNT]

265
00:10:56,234 --> 00:10:57,367
Are you a leader now?

266
00:10:57,367 --> 00:10:59,901
Only in the field
of electrical discovery.

267
00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:00,901
[YELPS]

268
00:11:00,901 --> 00:11:03,167
[YELPS]

269
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:06,234
The Declaration of Independence
has been signed.

270
00:11:06,234 --> 00:11:07,968
[BELLS DINGING]

271
00:11:15,834 --> 00:11:17,634
[***]

272
00:11:17,634 --> 00:11:19,100
What do we do now,
Brain?

273
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:20,267
What?

274
00:11:20,267 --> 00:11:22,200
What?
What?

275
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,000
[***]

276
00:11:25,701 --> 00:11:28,868
Come on, Pinky. We've
got to head to Europe.

277
00:11:28,868 --> 00:11:30,667
I hear the French
are revolting.

278
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:33,400
Narf! Well, mostly
they're just rude, Brain.

279
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,367
What are we going
to do in France?

280
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:38,067
The same thing
we do everywhere, Pinky:

281
00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:40,634
try to take over the world.

282
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:43,601
[WITH FRENCH ACCENTS]:
 *They're dinky
 They're Pinky and the Brain *

283
00:11:43,601 --> 00:11:45,501
 * Brain, brain, brain, brain *

284
00:11:48,968 --> 00:11:51,300
[***]

285
00:11:55,501 --> 00:11:57,467
[***]

286
00:12:04,868 --> 00:12:06,601
[YAWNS]

287
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:09,000
It's great to be back in action.

288
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,200
[SNIFFING]

289
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,267
Anybody smell something?
Like something burning?

290
00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:15,534
Oh, my gosh!
It is burning.

291
00:12:15,534 --> 00:12:17,133
This candle's on fire.

292
00:12:17,133 --> 00:12:20,067
Run for your lives!
Fire! Fire!

293
00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:22,300
No, wait. What am
I thinking?

294
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:23,767
I am a fire.

295
00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:26,467
Hey, I just woke up.
I'm groggy.

296
00:12:33,501 --> 00:12:34,701
[YAWNS]

297
00:12:34,701 --> 00:12:36,667
So, what's on the agenda
tonight?

298
00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:38,734
Oh. A little writing, huh?

299
00:12:38,734 --> 00:12:40,467
Here we go again.

300
00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:42,133
Well, you can count on me, pal.

301
00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:44,000
I'll be your beacon
in the night.

302
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:47,067
So, what do you call this opus
you're working on?

303
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,334
"The Landlord's Tale."

304
00:12:49,334 --> 00:12:51,701
Uh...you might want
a catchier title.

305
00:12:51,701 --> 00:12:53,467
Hm.

306
00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:55,801
Uh. But we can
work that out later.

307
00:12:56,534 --> 00:12:57,801
Mm.

308
00:12:59,601 --> 00:13:02,434
Don't mind me. I'll just
read over your shoulder.

309
00:13:02,434 --> 00:13:04,501
 "Listen, my children
 And you shall hear

310
00:13:04,501 --> 00:13:07,167
 "Of the midnight ride
 Of Paul Revere

311
00:13:07,167 --> 00:13:10,133
Hm. Nice opening.

312
00:13:10,133 --> 00:13:12,801
 On the 18th of April
 In '75

313
00:13:12,801 --> 00:13:15,067
 Hardly a man is now alive

314
00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:17,400
 Who remembers that famous day
 And year.

315
00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,067
[***]

316
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:24,501
FLAME:
 He said to his friend

317
00:13:24,501 --> 00:13:25,701
If the British march

318
00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:27,734
By land or sea
From the town tonight

319
00:13:27,734 --> 00:13:30,133
Hang a lantern aloft
In the belfry arch

320
00:13:30,133 --> 00:13:33,000
Of the North Church tower
As a signal light

321
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,267
One if by land
Or two if by sea

322
00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:37,400
And I on the opposite
Shore will be

323
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,400
Ready to ride
And spread the alarm

324
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,667
Through every Middlesex
Village And farm

325
00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:44,367
For the country folk to be up
And to arm.

326
00:13:44,367 --> 00:13:46,934
FLAME: Then he said
Good night.

327
00:13:46,934 --> 00:13:48,367
FLAME:
 And with muffled oar

328
00:13:48,367 --> 00:13:51,000
 Silently rowed to
 The Charlestown shore

329
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,901
 Just as the moon
 Rose over the bay

330
00:13:52,901 --> 00:13:55,567
 Where swinging wide
 At her moorings lay

331
00:13:55,567 --> 00:13:58,534
 The Somerset, British
 Man-of-war

332
00:13:58,534 --> 00:14:01,868
 A phantom ship
 With each mast And spar

333
00:14:01,868 --> 00:14:03,534
 Across the moon
 Like a prison bar

334
00:14:03,534 --> 00:14:06,234
 And a huge black hulk
 That was magnified

335
00:14:06,234 --> 00:14:09,000
 By its own reflection
 In the tide.

336
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,901
 Meanwhile, his friend
 Through alley and street

337
00:14:11,901 --> 00:14:14,400
 Wanders and watches
 With eager ears

338
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,801
 Till in silence around him
 He hears

339
00:14:16,801 --> 00:14:19,067
 The muster of men
 At the barrack door.

340
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:22,601
 The sound of arms
 And the tramp of feet

341
00:14:22,601 --> 00:14:24,734
 And the measured tread
 Of the grenadiers

342
00:14:24,734 --> 00:14:26,634
 Marching down to their boats
 On the shore.

343
00:14:26,634 --> 00:14:27,968
[GASPS]

344
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,000
[***]

345
00:14:33,334 --> 00:14:36,000
 Then he climbed to the tower
 Of the church

346
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,267
 Up the wooden stairs
 With stealthy tread

347
00:14:38,267 --> 00:14:40,300
 To the belfry chamber overhead

348
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:42,567
 And startled the pigeons
 From their perch

349
00:14:42,567 --> 00:14:45,434
 On the somber rafters
 That round him made

350
00:14:45,434 --> 00:14:47,334
 Masses and moving shapes
 Of shade--

351
00:14:47,334 --> 00:14:48,767
Whoa!

352
00:14:48,767 --> 00:14:51,167
Ow!
 Up the trembling ladder
 Steep and tall

353
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:53,200
 To the highest window
 In the wall

354
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,434
 Where he paused to listen
 And look down

355
00:14:55,434 --> 00:14:57,701
 A moment on the roofs
 Of the town

356
00:14:57,701 --> 00:15:00,033
 And the moonlight flowing
 Over all.

357
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,734
 Beneath, in the churchyard
 Lay the dead

358
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:04,901
 In their night encampment
 On the hill

359
00:15:04,901 --> 00:15:07,300
 Wrapped in silence
 So deep and still

360
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:10,000
 That he could hear
 Like a sentinel's tread

361
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,400
 The watchful night wind
 As it went

362
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,767
 Creeping along
 From tent to tent

363
00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:17,434
 And seeming to whisper
 "All is well!"

364
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:19,601
[GULPS]

365
00:15:19,601 --> 00:15:21,901
 A moment only
 He feels the spell

366
00:15:21,901 --> 00:15:24,601
 Of the place and the hour
 And the secret dread

367
00:15:24,601 --> 00:15:27,267
 Of the lonely belfry
 And the dead

368
00:15:27,267 --> 00:15:29,567
 For suddenly all his thoughts
 Are bent

369
00:15:29,567 --> 00:15:32,234
 On a shadowy something far away

370
00:15:32,234 --> 00:15:35,267
 Where the river widens
 To meet the bay.

371
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,400
 A line of black
 That bends and floats

372
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:41,000
 On the rising tide
 Like a bridge of boats.

373
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,267
Oh, my gosh!

374
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:45,667
 Meanwhile, impatient to mount
 And ride

375
00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,934
 Booted and spurred
 With a heavy stride

376
00:15:47,934 --> 00:15:51,100
 On the opposite shore
 Walked Paul Revere.

377
00:15:52,801 --> 00:15:55,267
 Now he patted his horse's side

378
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:57,634
 Now gazed at the landscape
 Far and near

379
00:15:57,634 --> 00:16:00,033
 Then impetuous
 Stamped the earth

380
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:03,300
 And turned and tightened
 His saddle girth.

381
00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:05,000
 But mostly he watched
 With eager search

382
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,834
 The belfry tower of
 The Old North Church

383
00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:10,501
 As it rose above the graves
 On the hill

384
00:16:10,501 --> 00:16:13,267
 Lonely and spectral and somber
 And still.

385
00:16:13,267 --> 00:16:15,934
 And lo! as he looks
 On the belfry's height

386
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:19,400
 A glimmer, and then a gleam
 Of light!

387
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,133
That would be yours truly.

388
00:16:21,133 --> 00:16:24,067
 He springs to the saddle
 The bridle he turns

389
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:26,901
 But lingers and gazes
 Till full on his sight

390
00:16:26,901 --> 00:16:29,234
 A second lamp in the belfry
 Burns.

391
00:16:29,234 --> 00:16:30,934
[***]

392
00:16:30,934 --> 00:16:32,167
He's my twin brother.

393
00:16:32,167 --> 00:16:33,767
I'm the cute one.

394
00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:35,367
Yeah, right.

395
00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:37,501
One if by land
or two if by sea.

396
00:16:37,501 --> 00:16:39,133
[WHINNIES]

397
00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,334
[***]

398
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:53,100
The British are coming!
The British are coming!

399
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:55,534
FLAME:
 A hurry of hooves
 In a village street

400
00:16:55,534 --> 00:16:58,234
 A shape in the moonlight
 A bulk in the dark

401
00:16:58,234 --> 00:17:01,367
 And beneath, from the pebbles
 In passing, a spark

402
00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:04,634
 Struck out by a steed
 Flying fearless and fleet.

403
00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:06,200
The British are coming!

404
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,634
 That was all! And yet, through
 The gloom and the light

405
00:17:09,634 --> 00:17:11,501
 The fate of a nation was riding
 That night

406
00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:14,701
 And the spark struck out by
 That steed, in his flight

407
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,701
 Kindled the land into flame
 With its heat.

408
00:17:17,701 --> 00:17:21,400
I like the part about
the flame. Good stuff.

409
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,434
 He has left the village
 And mounted the steep

410
00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:27,100
 And beneath him
 Tranquil and broad and deep

411
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:30,267
 Is the Mystic
 Meeting the ocean tides

412
00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:33,267
 And under the alders
 That skirt its edge

413
00:17:33,267 --> 00:17:36,000
 Now soft on the sand
 Now loud on the ledge

414
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,267
 Is heard the tramp of his steed
 As he rides.

415
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:40,634
 It was 12 by the village clock

416
00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:43,167
 When he crossed the bridge
 Into Medford town.

417
00:17:43,167 --> 00:17:45,467
 He heard the crowing
 Of the cock

418
00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:46,667
[CROWS]

419
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:49,067
 And the barking
 Of the farmer's dog

420
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:51,501
[BARKING]

421
00:17:51,501 --> 00:17:53,801
 And felt the damp
 Of the river fog

422
00:17:53,801 --> 00:17:56,534
 That rises after the sun
 Goes down.

423
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:59,667
The British are coming!
The British are coming!

424
00:17:59,667 --> 00:18:01,567
[***]

425
00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:05,467
The British are coming!

426
00:18:05,467 --> 00:18:07,200
 It was 1 by the village clock

427
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,200
 When he galloped
 Into Lexington.

428
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,067
 He saw the gilded weathercock

429
00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:13,701
 Swim in the moonlight
 As he passed

430
00:18:13,701 --> 00:18:16,300
 And the meeting-house windows
 Blank and bare

431
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,634
 Gaze at him with
 A spectral glare

432
00:18:18,634 --> 00:18:20,868
 As if they already stood aghast

433
00:18:20,868 --> 00:18:23,300
 At the bloody work they would
 Look upon.

434
00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:25,367
The British are coming!
[BELL RINGING]

435
00:18:29,968 --> 00:18:32,033
 It was 2 by the village clock

436
00:18:32,033 --> 00:18:34,634
 When he came to the bridge
 In Concord town.

437
00:18:34,634 --> 00:18:37,767
The British are coming!
The British are coming!

438
00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:39,667
[SHEEP BLEATING]

439
00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:42,000
 He heard the bleating
 Of the flock

440
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,100
 And the twitter of birds
 Among the trees

441
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:46,501
 And felt the breath
 Of the morning breeze

442
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,834
 Blowing over the meadows brown.

443
00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:52,567
The British are coming!
The British are coming!

444
00:18:52,567 --> 00:18:55,167
 And one was safe and asleep
 In his bed

445
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:57,934
 Who at the bridge would be
 First to fall

446
00:18:57,934 --> 00:19:00,067
 Who that day would be
 Lying dead

447
00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:02,734
 Pierced by a British
 Musket ball.

448
00:19:05,234 --> 00:19:07,667
 You know the rest.
 In the books you have read

449
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:10,367
 How the British Regulars
 Fired and fled

450
00:19:10,367 --> 00:19:13,367
 How the farmers gave them
 Ball for ball

451
00:19:13,367 --> 00:19:16,267
 From behind each fence
 And farmyard wall

452
00:19:16,267 --> 00:19:18,667
 Chasing the redcoats
 Down the lane

453
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:21,300
 Then crossing the fields
 To emerge again

454
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:23,667
 Under the trees at the turn
 Of the road

455
00:19:23,667 --> 00:19:26,133
 And only pausing
 To fire and load.

456
00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:28,601
 So through the night
 Rode Paul Revere

457
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,300
 And so through the night
 Went his cry of alarm

458
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,934
 To every Middlesex village
 And farm.

459
00:19:33,934 --> 00:19:37,400
The British are coming!
The British are coming!

460
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,033
 A cry of defiance
 And not of fear

461
00:19:40,033 --> 00:19:42,701
 A voice in the darkness
 A knock at the door

462
00:19:42,701 --> 00:19:45,067
 And a word that shall echo
 For evermore!

463
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:47,601
 For, borne on the night-wind
 Of the Past

464
00:19:47,601 --> 00:19:50,067
 Through all our history
 To the last

465
00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:52,734
 In the hour of darkness
 And peril and need

466
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:55,634
 The people will waken
 And listen to hear

467
00:19:55,634 --> 00:19:57,901
 The hurrying hoof-beats
 Of that steed

468
00:19:57,901 --> 00:20:01,467
 And the midnight message
 Of Paul Revere.

469
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:04,434
"By Henry Wadsworth
Longfellow."

470
00:20:04,434 --> 00:20:06,968
We're finished. All right!

471
00:20:06,968 --> 00:20:08,467
Nice poem, Hank.

472
00:20:08,467 --> 00:20:10,000
There's just one thing to fix.

473
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,968
The title's still
a little weak.

474
00:20:11,968 --> 00:20:14,434
"The Landlord's Tale"
just doesn't cut it.

475
00:20:14,434 --> 00:20:15,567
Hm.

476
00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:18,367
How about something exciting?

477
00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:20,400
Something like,
"Night Of The Flame,"

478
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,801
or "The Light In The Tower
Window" or--

479
00:20:23,801 --> 00:20:26,467
"Paul Revere's Ride."

480
00:20:26,467 --> 00:20:28,467
Yeah.

481
00:20:28,467 --> 00:20:31,400
"Paul Revere's Ride."
Perfect!

482
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:34,367
Well, glad I could help
brighten up your night.

483
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,868
And remember...

484
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,501
[YAWNS]

485
00:20:37,501 --> 00:20:40,167
if you ever need me again,
just ring.

486
00:20:41,601 --> 00:20:43,534
[***]

487
00:20:44,934 --> 00:20:46,901
[BELLS RINGING]

488
00:20:50,634 --> 00:20:52,400
[WHINNIES]

489
00:20:58,534 --> 00:21:00,968
[***]

490
00:21:28,133 --> 00:21:29,701
ALL:
Ciao, America!