1
00:00:05,501 --> 00:00:07,868
ANNOUNCER:
 Previously on Animaniacs:

2
00:00:07,868 --> 00:00:09,701
Yakko, you can't
go this alone.

3
00:00:09,701 --> 00:00:12,200
It's insane, I tell ya.
Insane.

4
00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:13,934
Usually,
that's to my advantage.

5
00:00:15,534 --> 00:00:16,667
What do you got, Wakko?

6
00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:18,634
I don't know, but it's big,

7
00:00:18,634 --> 00:00:20,601
and it's headed
straight for us.

8
00:00:21,767 --> 00:00:23,767
Oh, my...

9
00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:25,267
[EXPLOSION]

10
00:00:25,267 --> 00:00:28,400
I-- I just-- I don't think
I love you anymore.

11
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,300
I don't know
if I ever loved you.

12
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:34,701
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
Oh, Otto, I'm so disappointed.

13
00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:37,300
It's got into the blood.

14
00:00:37,300 --> 00:00:38,801
Don't worry, kid.

15
00:00:38,801 --> 00:00:39,868
I'm gonna hit a ball

16
00:00:39,868 --> 00:00:41,801
right out of the park
just for you.

17
00:00:41,801 --> 00:00:46,033
Gee, that'd be great, Babe.

18
00:00:46,868 --> 00:00:48,968
Oh, my...

19
00:00:48,968 --> 00:00:50,400
[EXPLOSION]

20
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,667
OTTO:
I think we are losing altitude.

21
00:00:52,667 --> 00:00:54,334
Scratchy, look out!

22
00:00:54,334 --> 00:00:56,300
[BOTH SCREAM]

23
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:59,834
I hereby sentence you
to life in prison.

24
00:01:01,167 --> 00:01:02,634
[GASPS]

25
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,467
Oh, my...

26
00:01:05,467 --> 00:01:07,033
[EXPLOSION]

27
00:01:07,033 --> 00:01:08,901
[***]

28
00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:11,033
[GULPS]

29
00:01:11,033 --> 00:01:13,534
You're out of order,
do you hear? Out of order!

30
00:01:13,534 --> 00:01:14,968
No. You're out of order.

31
00:01:14,968 --> 00:01:16,534
You're all out of order!

32
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:18,934
Don't you see?
Don't you get it?

33
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,968
[ALL SCREAMING]

34
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,734
I can't believe it.

35
00:01:24,734 --> 00:01:26,400
DOT:
Our water tower.

36
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:30,067
Don't worry, sibs.
We'll be back. We'll rebuild.

37
00:01:30,067 --> 00:01:33,567
And we'll make a brand-new
water tower that's-- That's--

38
00:01:33,567 --> 00:01:35,501
Exactly like the old one?

39
00:01:35,501 --> 00:01:36,767
Right.

40
00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:38,267
[***]

41
00:01:38,267 --> 00:01:42,133
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *

42
00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:44,734
* And we're zany to the max *

43
00:01:44,734 --> 00:01:46,434
* So just sit back and relax *

44
00:01:46,434 --> 00:01:48,234
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *

45
00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:50,501
* We're Animaniacs *

46
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,200
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *

47
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,934
* And the Warner sister, Dot *

48
00:01:53,934 --> 00:01:57,033
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *

49
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:59,701
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *

50
00:01:59,701 --> 00:02:01,300
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *

51
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,534
* And now you know the plot *

52
00:02:02,534 --> 00:02:05,067
* We're Animaniacs *

53
00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:08,100
 * Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

54
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:09,434
 * Wakko packs away the snacks *

55
00:02:09,434 --> 00:02:11,067
* We pay tons of income tax *

56
00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:13,934
* We're Animaniacs *

57
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:15,834
 * Meet Ralph
 And Dr.Scratchansniff *

58
00:02:15,834 --> 00:02:17,033
 * Say hi to Hello, Nurse *

59
00:02:17,033 --> 00:02:18,400
 * Goodfeathers flock together *

60
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:19,901
 * Slappy whacks 'em
 With her purse *

61
00:02:19,901 --> 00:02:21,167
 * Buttons chases Mindy *

62
00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:22,767
 * While Rita sings a verse *

63
00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:24,501
* The writers flipped
We have no script *

64
00:02:24,501 --> 00:02:25,601
* Why bother to rehearse? *

65
00:02:25,601 --> 00:02:28,267
* We're Animaniacs *

66
00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:31,300
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *

67
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,734
* We're zany to the max *

68
00:02:32,734 --> 00:02:34,400
* There's bologna
In our slacks *

69
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:35,834
* We're Animan-y *

70
00:02:35,834 --> 00:02:37,367
* Totally insane-y *

71
00:02:37,367 --> 00:02:38,868
* No pain, no gain-y *

72
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:41,000
* Animaniacs *

73
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,467
* Those are the facts *

74
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,167
[***]

75
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,000
[VIOLIN PLAYING
SERENE CLASSICAL MUSIC]

76
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:09,234
[PLAYING HOEDOWN MUSIC]

77
00:03:09,234 --> 00:03:10,734
Yee-haw!

78
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,501
[STAMMERS]
Yes, sir.

79
00:03:13,501 --> 00:03:16,400
Well, "yee-haw" and all that,
Holmes,

80
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,634
but shouldn't we be getting
back to the case now?

81
00:03:18,634 --> 00:03:21,734
Mariachiis sure
to strike again soon.

82
00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:24,334
Yes. My old nemesis,
Professor Mariachi.

83
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:27,300
This latest spate of petty
robberies has me mystified.

84
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:28,968
Bowling pins,
automobile batteries,

85
00:03:28,968 --> 00:03:30,734
railroad ties,

86
00:03:30,734 --> 00:03:32,601
the odd pair
of ladies' knickers.

87
00:03:32,601 --> 00:03:34,934
W-w-what do you think
he's up to?

88
00:03:34,934 --> 00:03:36,334
I'm not certain.

89
00:03:36,334 --> 00:03:38,968
I require some time
to formulate a theory.

90
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,868
Watson, no interruptions.

91
00:03:40,868 --> 00:03:42,567
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

92
00:03:44,801 --> 00:03:46,601
You got
any used dental floss?

93
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:49,167
What? No!

94
00:03:49,167 --> 00:03:50,767
What was I saying?

95
00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:52,100
No interruptions.

96
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,901
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

97
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,934
How about a yam shaped
like Elvis's dad, Vernon?

98
00:03:57,934 --> 00:03:59,834
HOLMES:
Absolutely not.

99
00:03:59,834 --> 00:04:01,100
Huh?

100
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,200
Prince Albert in a can?

101
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,100
Princess Di
in a leotard?

102
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:05,534
Prince Charles
in a tabloid?

103
00:04:05,534 --> 00:04:08,667
W-w-who are you?
What are you doing here?

104
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:10,267
Allow me to deduce,
Watson.

105
00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:13,234
The size, the coloring,
the age...

106
00:04:13,234 --> 00:04:14,767
Hm.

107
00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:17,434
Are you not the Warner brothers
and their sister Dot?

108
00:04:17,434 --> 00:04:19,667
I'm gonna flip all the cards.
You are correct.

109
00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:22,000
Big whoop.
He heard the theme song.

110
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,434
[BELCHES]

111
00:04:23,434 --> 00:04:26,400
I also deduce the little one
just had a pepperoni pizza.

112
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,601
[WAKKO HICCUPS]
[SNIFFS]

113
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,934
With onions.

114
00:04:28,934 --> 00:04:31,267
Furthermore, you're on
some kind of little quest.

115
00:04:31,267 --> 00:04:34,534
Correct again.
But not just some little quest.

116
00:04:34,534 --> 00:04:37,501
We're on the greatest
scavenger hunt of all time.

117
00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:39,000
Guess what
the winner gets.

118
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,834
I don't guess, I deduce.

119
00:04:40,834 --> 00:04:43,501
Well, I de Big Bad Wolf.
But enough of that.

120
00:04:43,501 --> 00:04:46,968
If we win, we get to do
a walk-on on Baywatch.

121
00:04:46,968 --> 00:04:48,868
[***]

122
00:04:48,868 --> 00:04:51,968
ALL:
Hello, nurses on the beach.

123
00:04:51,968 --> 00:04:53,200
Look, I'm very busy.

124
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,300
I'm afraid I'm going
to have to ask you out.

125
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:59,267
Why, Sherlock,
you big old bony-nosed man.

126
00:04:59,267 --> 00:05:00,901
I'd love to go out.

127
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,701
Or are you just trying
to take advantage

128
00:05:02,701 --> 00:05:05,200
of an old-fashioned
American girl?

129
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:09,033
You intercontinental cavalier,
you.

130
00:05:09,033 --> 00:05:11,701
It's okay with us, as long
as the chubby guy chaperones.

131
00:05:11,701 --> 00:05:14,033
I'm afraid
I'm not making myself clear.

132
00:05:14,033 --> 00:05:16,000
Wait. Allow me to deduce.

133
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,300
You're Sherlock Holmes,
the great de-tec-a-tive.

134
00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:20,200
You're highly annoyed
at our very presence,

135
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:23,067
and you're about to give us
lots of money to leave.

136
00:05:23,067 --> 00:05:25,667
No, I'm tossing you out
on your keisters.

137
00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:27,367
What's a keister?

138
00:05:29,534 --> 00:05:31,767
Oh, that's a keister.

139
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,968
Perhaps, to catch Mariachi,

140
00:05:33,968 --> 00:05:36,200
I'll need to don
one of my many disguises.

141
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,000
ALL:
Disguise!

142
00:05:40,234 --> 00:05:43,567
Keister!
I've learned a new word.

143
00:05:43,567 --> 00:05:44,667
That's right, Wakko.

144
00:05:44,667 --> 00:05:47,334
And thanks to you,
so has half of America.

145
00:05:47,334 --> 00:05:49,834
Now, then, Watson,
back to the case.

146
00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:51,667
Oh, yes, right-o.

147
00:05:52,834 --> 00:05:56,868
Mr. Holmes, Dr. Watson,
luncheon is ready.

148
00:05:56,868 --> 00:05:59,834
O-oh, super.
I could eat a horse.

149
00:06:01,534 --> 00:06:04,067
Sorry, the horse couldn't
make it. How 'bout three hams?

150
00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:06,667
Since you're on a lunch break,

151
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:09,434
can't you help us
with our scavenger hunt? Hm?

152
00:06:09,434 --> 00:06:13,033
Look, I've told you already.
I haven't the time.

153
00:06:13,033 --> 00:06:15,934
We don't need the time,
just this stuff.

154
00:06:15,934 --> 00:06:17,367
A happy postal worker.

155
00:06:17,367 --> 00:06:18,767
Edible fruitcake.

156
00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:20,067
A funny episode of Bonkers.

157
00:06:20,067 --> 00:06:21,367
Seven swans a-swimming.

158
00:06:21,367 --> 00:06:22,968
Six geese a-laying.

159
00:06:22,968 --> 00:06:26,100
ALL:
* Five golden rings *

160
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,300
* Four calling birds
Three French hens *

161
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,868
* Two turtle doves *

162
00:06:29,868 --> 00:06:33,834
* And a partridge
In a pear tree *

163
00:06:35,601 --> 00:06:37,434
Watson!
WAKKO: Ah-ah-ah.

164
00:06:37,434 --> 00:06:40,100
Someone's
under the mistletoe.

165
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,367
[***]

166
00:06:43,901 --> 00:06:45,868
You're incorrigible.

167
00:06:45,868 --> 00:06:47,400
No, he's in London.

168
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:48,901
[DRUMROLL]

169
00:06:48,901 --> 00:06:51,667
Heh-heh-heh. I got
a million more just like it.

170
00:06:51,667 --> 00:06:53,100
Unfortunately.

171
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:54,934
Stop it. Stop it.
That will do.

172
00:06:54,934 --> 00:06:57,667
Look, I promise I'll help you
with your scavenger hunt.

173
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,367
ALL:
Hooray!

174
00:06:59,367 --> 00:07:01,200
After I finish my work.

175
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:02,868
ALL:
Aw...

176
00:07:02,868 --> 00:07:05,567
Now, just sit down and find
something to occupy yourselves.

177
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:07,100
ALL:
Okay.

178
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:09,067
[DRYER WHIRRING]
[BALLS BOUNCING]

179
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,200
Quiet!

180
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:19,033
[RHYTHMIC TWANGING]

181
00:07:19,033 --> 00:07:21,033
HOLMES:
Watson.

182
00:07:22,133 --> 00:07:23,934
O-oh, sorry, Holmes.

183
00:07:23,934 --> 00:07:25,701
Old habits and all that,
you know.

184
00:07:25,701 --> 00:07:27,701
[***]

185
00:07:30,801 --> 00:07:33,567
All right. All right, you win.

186
00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:37,300
I'll help you. I'll help you
with your scavenger hunt.

187
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,234
What else do you need?

188
00:07:39,234 --> 00:07:40,400
Let's see, um,

189
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,400
so far we've got
the Maltese Falcon,

190
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,200
a lock of Yul Brynner's hair,
Burt Ward's career--

191
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:46,601
Can't find it.

192
00:07:46,601 --> 00:07:48,434
Bowling pins,
batteries,

193
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:50,934
the Lusitania,
Marlon Brando...

194
00:07:50,934 --> 00:07:53,334
[GRUNTING]

195
00:07:53,334 --> 00:07:55,334
He's in there, really.

196
00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:58,501
Railroad ties and the odd pair
of ladies' knickers.

197
00:07:58,501 --> 00:07:59,767
Hello.

198
00:07:59,767 --> 00:08:01,200
Some of those items,

199
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,100
those are the very things
that Mariachihas been stealing.

200
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:05,534
Do you know what this means?

201
00:08:05,534 --> 00:08:07,400
Uh, he's a thief?

202
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,367
Good answer, yeah. Good.
Good answer, yeah.

203
00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:11,667
No, it means

204
00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:14,067
that he's on the very same
scavenger hunt you are.

205
00:08:14,067 --> 00:08:15,501
What's the last item
on the list?

206
00:08:15,501 --> 00:08:16,934
We'll catch him in the act.

207
00:08:16,934 --> 00:08:19,100
A fat chubby sidekick
with a curly moustache.

208
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:22,434
Ah! I have one of those.
Watson. Watson?

209
00:08:22,434 --> 00:08:24,434
[GRUNTING]
Help!

210
00:08:24,434 --> 00:08:28,367
Holmes!
Holmes, it's Mariachi!

211
00:08:28,367 --> 00:08:30,601
So, Holmes, we meet again.

212
00:08:30,601 --> 00:08:33,701
I do hope you'll forgive me
for borrowing Watson.

213
00:08:33,701 --> 00:08:36,968
I shall return him right after
we wing off to Hollywood

214
00:08:36,968 --> 00:08:40,167
for a very special episode
of Baywatch.

215
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:42,133
Check your local listings.

216
00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:43,501
This always happens.

217
00:08:43,501 --> 00:08:45,767
Every time we get our hands
on a fat chubby sidekick,

218
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,000
whammo, he's kidnapped
by a Scottish guy,

219
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,334
with a huge sombrero,
in a flying contraption.

220
00:08:50,334 --> 00:08:52,501
But he's not getting away
with it.

221
00:08:52,501 --> 00:08:54,834
That's our Baywatch episode.

222
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,367
Come on, sibs.

223
00:08:56,367 --> 00:08:58,767
[***]

224
00:08:58,767 --> 00:09:00,734
[GIGGLING]
Oh, I won.

225
00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:02,667
Yes, I won, I won.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!

226
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,167
Correction, Mariachi,
[GASPS]

227
00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:06,601
you've lost.

228
00:09:06,601 --> 00:09:11,334
But how did you get me in here
when was I out there?

229
00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:13,133
Elementary,
my dear Watson.

230
00:09:13,133 --> 00:09:16,067
Some things are simply
worth the Hasselhoff.

231
00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:18,067
[***]

232
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:23,968
[SIGHS]

233
00:09:23,968 --> 00:09:27,634
ALL:
* She's a cranky old critter
She's bitter, we warn you *

234
00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:31,067
* She lives in a tree house
In Burbank, California *

235
00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:33,567
* Along with her nephew
He says, "Spew" *

236
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:36,067
 * He's cheerful
 Then his aunt starts to rant *

237
00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:37,734
 * She gives him an earful *

238
00:09:37,734 --> 00:09:39,601
 * She's grumpy
 He's happy *

239
00:09:39,601 --> 00:09:41,100
 * It's generation gappy *

240
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:42,767
* Take a whirl
With the squirrels *

241
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:45,067
* Skippy and Slappy *

242
00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:47,133
Ah, put a sock in it.

243
00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:49,834
* That's my Aunt Slappy *
ALL: * Aunt Slappy *

244
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,400
[***]

245
00:10:06,267 --> 00:10:08,701
[CHUCKLES]

246
00:10:11,033 --> 00:10:12,734
SKIPPY:
Come on, Aunt Slappy.
Get him.

247
00:10:12,734 --> 00:10:13,834
Blow him up. Quick.

248
00:10:15,934 --> 00:10:17,801
Happy birthday, pal.

249
00:10:17,801 --> 00:10:19,300
Gee, thanks.

250
00:10:25,901 --> 00:10:28,133
Yay! You got him!

251
00:10:28,133 --> 00:10:30,467
You made him blow up good.

252
00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:33,601
What can I say?
I'm glad to be a role model.

253
00:10:33,601 --> 00:10:36,033
Those old cartoons were great,
Aunt Slappy.

254
00:10:36,033 --> 00:10:37,234
[DOORBELL RINGS]

255
00:10:37,234 --> 00:10:39,734
MAN:
Telegram
for Slappy Squirrel.

256
00:10:39,734 --> 00:10:43,133
I love how easy it was for you
to get out of his traps.

257
00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:45,734
I love how easy it was for me
to get out of this chair.

258
00:10:45,734 --> 00:10:47,267
 Oy.

259
00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:49,701
SKIPPY:
And I love the way you dupe him
and confuse him

260
00:10:49,701 --> 00:10:51,934
and bamboozle him
and-- And--

261
00:10:51,934 --> 00:10:53,901
And I love the way
you used to clobber him

262
00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:57,501
and splat him
and blow him up until--

263
00:10:57,501 --> 00:10:59,767
"Walter J. Wolf
has passed away."

264
00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:02,100
Yeah. Until he was a goner!

265
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:04,400
"His funeral
will be Tuesday at noon."

266
00:11:04,901 --> 00:11:06,133
[GULPS]

267
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:09,300
You mean, he's really dead?

268
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,467
And you!

269
00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:13,467
You did all those
terrible things to him.

270
00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:16,334
Hey. Whatever happened to,
"Go get him, Aunt Slappy"?

271
00:11:16,334 --> 00:11:19,033
That's before I knew
you were a murderer.

272
00:11:19,033 --> 00:11:21,234
Suddenly, my biggest fan

273
00:11:21,234 --> 00:11:23,701
has turned
into Perry Mason over here.

274
00:11:23,701 --> 00:11:26,667
Perry Mason?
Join the '90s.

275
00:11:26,667 --> 00:11:29,400
What do you want,
a modern reference? I'm old.

276
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,133
Kids.

277
00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:33,200
[***]

278
00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:37,234
Oof!

279
00:11:37,234 --> 00:11:39,234
Hey. You wanna kill me?

280
00:11:39,234 --> 00:11:40,734
You'd better get it right

281
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,667
or there's gonna be
a real funeral.

282
00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:45,901
Duh, I don't get it, boss.

283
00:11:45,901 --> 00:11:49,501
How come if you're dead
you ain't all peaceful-like?

284
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,834
I'm not dead,
you trout brain.

285
00:11:51,834 --> 00:11:53,868
Duh,
if you're not dead,

286
00:11:53,868 --> 00:11:56,200
then how can
you be talking to me?

287
00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,801
Now, listen, you ninny.

288
00:11:59,801 --> 00:12:02,033
I'm only pretending to be dead

289
00:12:02,033 --> 00:12:05,100
so that I can clobber
that Slappy Squirrel.

290
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,701
Just like in Pardon My Stiff,

291
00:12:07,701 --> 00:12:11,734
1942,
directed by Spats Melnik.

292
00:12:11,734 --> 00:12:15,567
Yeah, only this time
the whole ceremony's

293
00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:17,400
gonna be rigged
with booby traps.

294
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,467
[BOTH LAUGHING]

295
00:12:19,467 --> 00:12:21,868
[BOTH COUGHING]

296
00:12:21,868 --> 00:12:25,100
Oh, boy.
Duh, I wanna be dead.

297
00:12:28,501 --> 00:12:32,367
Not a bad idea.
It might raise your IQ.

298
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:36,400
This is Mary Hartless
at Woodland Hedge Memorial Park

299
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,400
to bring you
the exciting news

300
00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,234
of another fabulous
celebrity funeral

301
00:12:41,234 --> 00:12:44,801
for beloved curmudgeon,
Walter Wolf.

302
00:12:44,801 --> 00:12:46,000
Now, he was a trouper.

303
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,567
Nobody could rig
a booby trap as good as him.

304
00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:50,467
And he would have been
an even bigger star

305
00:12:50,467 --> 00:12:52,400
if it wasn't for
that Slappy Squirrel.

306
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:54,534
ALL:
Slappy Squirrel?

307
00:12:54,534 --> 00:12:56,067
[ALL SPIT]

308
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,934
[ALL COUGHING]

309
00:12:57,934 --> 00:12:59,300
[CAR HORN HONKS]

310
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,033
Look.
There she is now.

311
00:13:11,901 --> 00:13:13,901
[ALL MUTTERING]

312
00:13:16,634 --> 00:13:20,067
Gee, there sure is a big turnout
for Walter Wolf's funeral.

313
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:22,734
Like I always say,
give people what they want.

314
00:13:22,734 --> 00:13:24,167
Aunt Slappy,

315
00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:27,300
you promised not to say
anything mean about him.

316
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:29,901
Yeah, I promised,
but it won't be easy.

317
00:13:29,901 --> 00:13:31,701
I'm delivering the eulogy.

318
00:13:33,434 --> 00:13:35,701
Get a good seat
and go easy on the popcorn.

319
00:13:35,701 --> 00:13:38,701
Your Aunt Slappy is about
to win a Daytime Emmy.

320
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:43,601
[ORGAN PLAYING SOFTLY]

321
00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:45,234
[GRUNTING]

322
00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:51,100
Duh, should I let in
the mourners, Walter?

323
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,501
Sure.
You remember what to do?

324
00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:56,767
Duh,
I light this firecracker

325
00:13:56,767 --> 00:13:59,767
and give it to Slappy,
and then say--

326
00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:00,934
Oh, yeah.

327
00:14:00,934 --> 00:14:04,868
"Please hold this candle
for the departed."

328
00:14:04,868 --> 00:14:07,701
Good.
Now, places, everybody.

329
00:14:07,701 --> 00:14:08,868
[LAUGHING]

330
00:14:08,868 --> 00:14:11,534
This is gonna be some funeral.

331
00:14:11,534 --> 00:14:13,601
Yeah, hers.

332
00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:15,767
[BOTH LAUGHING]

333
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:18,534
[BOTH COUGHING]

334
00:14:23,234 --> 00:14:25,934
If this wasn't so sad,
it'd be pathetic.

335
00:14:25,934 --> 00:14:29,634
Oh, well. On with
the backfiring booby-trap bit.

336
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,067
Oh, Walter.

337
00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:40,868
[CRYING]

338
00:14:40,868 --> 00:14:44,567
Walter! Walter! Walter!

339
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:46,133
[CRYING]

340
00:14:46,133 --> 00:14:49,467
Walter! Walter! Walter!

341
00:14:49,467 --> 00:14:51,033
Walter!

342
00:14:51,701 --> 00:14:53,334
[BONES CRUNCHING]

343
00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:55,400
That stuff will look great
in the promos.

344
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,467
We'd like you to stand
right there

345
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:05,200
to deliver the eulogy.

346
00:15:07,767 --> 00:15:08,968
Hm.

347
00:15:08,968 --> 00:15:10,567
I don't think so.

348
00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:13,067
Nah. The light's better
over here.

349
00:15:13,067 --> 00:15:14,834
But you have to stand here.

350
00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:15,968
Tell you what.

351
00:15:15,968 --> 00:15:18,567
I'll stand here
and you stand there.

352
00:15:19,901 --> 00:15:21,634
No. You stand there.

353
00:15:21,634 --> 00:15:22,801
I stand here?

354
00:15:22,801 --> 00:15:24,400
You stand there.

355
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:26,267
Where?
Here!

356
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,767
Uh-oh.

357
00:15:37,934 --> 00:15:41,234
Wasn't he great?
Let's give him a big hand.

358
00:15:44,601 --> 00:15:47,534
Well, maybe that opening act
wasn't such a good idea.

359
00:15:47,534 --> 00:15:49,934
On with the eulogy.
[GULPS]

360
00:15:49,934 --> 00:15:51,300
[CLEARS THROAT]

361
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:54,000
We're all here to honor
the late Walter Wolf.

362
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,334
I believe it was Don Rickles
who said it best...

363
00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:58,133
No.

364
00:15:58,968 --> 00:16:00,100
...so I won't bother.

365
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:01,834
Walter is gone,

366
00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:04,367
but he wouldn't
want us to cry, no.

367
00:16:04,367 --> 00:16:05,834
He'd want us to laugh.

368
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:07,801
He'd want us to laugh
all the laughs

369
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,567
he never got
during his career.

370
00:16:11,934 --> 00:16:13,601
Heh-heh-heh.
 [DRUMROLL]

371
00:16:13,601 --> 00:16:14,701
There's one.

372
00:16:17,634 --> 00:16:19,567
Talk about stone faces.

373
00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:21,701
I'd get more laughs
on Easter Island.

374
00:16:22,901 --> 00:16:27,100
I could go on and on
about Walter,

375
00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:29,267
except I've got
a mahjong game at 3.

376
00:16:29,267 --> 00:16:31,634
But I guess what I'll remember
best about him

377
00:16:31,634 --> 00:16:33,734
are his booby traps.

378
00:16:33,734 --> 00:16:36,167
Like this one.
What a piece of work.

379
00:16:36,167 --> 00:16:38,634
I'm sure he'd like
to be buried with it.

380
00:16:38,634 --> 00:16:40,167
[GASPS]

381
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,434
[ALARM RINGING]

382
00:16:51,634 --> 00:16:55,467
When I heard of his demise,
it was such a relief, really.

383
00:16:55,467 --> 00:16:56,801
Finally, that's over.

384
00:16:59,534 --> 00:17:01,367
But all seriousness aside,

385
00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:04,667
who could forget a man
who created items like this?

386
00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:07,133
I'm sure he'd like
to be buried with it.

387
00:17:16,501 --> 00:17:18,834
Of course,
Walter had a comic style.

388
00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:22,000
This one will get her,
that Slappy Squirrel.

389
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,567
He did everything in threes.

390
00:17:23,567 --> 00:17:26,033
Three mallets, three anvils,

391
00:17:26,033 --> 00:17:27,501
three bombs.

392
00:17:27,501 --> 00:17:29,000
A nice one, eh?

393
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,701
ALL:
I'm sure he'd like
to be buried with it.

394
00:17:32,701 --> 00:17:34,534
Like a bunch
of trained monkeys.

395
00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:37,767
[ALARM RINGING]

396
00:17:43,033 --> 00:17:45,434
Now, that's what I call
en-bombing.

397
00:17:45,434 --> 00:17:47,567
[DRUMROLL]

398
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,100
[LAUGHING]

399
00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:52,367
Agh! Stop. Please.

400
00:17:52,367 --> 00:17:55,033
No more. Agh!

401
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:58,100
Hey!
He isn't dead, after all.

402
00:17:58,100 --> 00:18:00,367
Not yet, that old faker.

403
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:02,667
Wait. Stop!
I can explain.

404
00:18:02,667 --> 00:18:04,834
[CROWD SHOUTING ANGRILY]

405
00:18:12,033 --> 00:18:15,100
But, Aunt Slappy,
how'd you know he wasn't dead?

406
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:17,300
Skippy, how many times
do I have to tell you?

407
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:20,667
There's no dying
in the world of cartoons.

408
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:23,100
Well, Bonkers.

409
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,434
Duh, oh, yeah,

410
00:18:25,434 --> 00:18:28,267
please hold this candle
for the departed.

411
00:18:28,267 --> 00:18:29,501
Sure.

412
00:18:35,934 --> 00:18:37,334
Happy birthday, pal.

413
00:18:37,334 --> 00:18:39,267
Gee, thanks.

414
00:18:46,634 --> 00:18:49,100
Now that's comedy.

415
00:18:53,534 --> 00:18:55,534
[***]

416
00:19:04,868 --> 00:19:08,033
* U.N. me, we had a bag of fun *

417
00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:10,200
* Down by the East Riverside *

418
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,467
* That United Nations there *

419
00:19:12,467 --> 00:19:14,234
* Drives away a fella's care *

420
00:19:14,234 --> 00:19:16,634
* One hundred eighty-three
Countries meet *

421
00:19:16,634 --> 00:19:18,300
* Down by the East Riverside *

422
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:22,567
* New York off 42nd Street *

423
00:19:22,567 --> 00:19:25,234
* See foreign states
With a grudge *

424
00:19:25,234 --> 00:19:27,400
* Down by the East Riverside *

425
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,601
* United Nations tries to fix *

426
00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:31,634
* Wars, famine and oil slicks *

427
00:19:31,634 --> 00:19:33,901
* Boutros Boutros-Ghali, gee *

428
00:19:33,901 --> 00:19:35,634
* Down by the East Riverside *

429
00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:39,667
* Leads the General Assembly *

430
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:42,634
* The gift shop will take
Traveler's checks *

431
00:19:42,634 --> 00:19:44,467
* Down by the East Riverside *

432
00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:46,667
* German tourists
Were not rare *

433
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:48,334
* Buying T-shirts and flatware *

434
00:19:48,334 --> 00:19:51,000
* Ate pastry from Liberia *

435
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,601
* Down by the East Riverside *

436
00:19:52,601 --> 00:19:56,834
* At the U.N. cafeteria *

437
00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:59,267
ALL:
* Took a tour with some Dutch *

438
00:19:59,267 --> 00:20:01,868
* Down by the East Riverside *

439
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,601
* We had a guide from Japan *

440
00:20:03,601 --> 00:20:05,601
* Who had a decent
Pension plan *

441
00:20:05,601 --> 00:20:08,167
* Saw costly artwork
From Brazil *

442
00:20:08,167 --> 00:20:09,734
* Down by the East Riverside *

443
00:20:09,734 --> 00:20:13,667
* On which my soda I did spill *

444
00:20:13,667 --> 00:20:16,601
* U.N. me, we had a bag of fun *

445
00:20:16,601 --> 00:20:18,534
* Down by the East Riverside *

446
00:20:18,534 --> 00:20:20,968
* Saw flags on shiny poles *

447
00:20:20,968 --> 00:20:22,801
* From lands with lofty goals *

448
00:20:22,801 --> 00:20:25,467
* We'll beat our swords
Into liverwurst *

449
00:20:25,467 --> 00:20:27,000
* Down by the East Riverside *

450
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,234
* But no one wants
To be the first *

451
00:20:31,234 --> 00:20:35,501
* But then I guess
It could be worse *

452
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:38,534
WAKKO:
* We could still
Sing one more verse *

453
00:20:38,534 --> 00:20:39,968
ALL:
* U.N. me *

454
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000
[***]

455
00:21:06,267 --> 00:21:07,701
ALL:
 Buenas noches!