1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,601
[***]

2
00:00:09,367 --> 00:00:10,601
Mornin', Skippy.

3
00:00:10,601 --> 00:00:13,033
Hi, Aunt Slappy.
What's for breakfast?

4
00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:15,334
A brand-new cereal
from Smellog's,

5
00:00:15,334 --> 00:00:16,534
Branimaniacs.

6
00:00:16,534 --> 00:00:18,801
Wow, we're on the box.

7
00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:19,868
That's right, kiddo.

8
00:00:19,868 --> 00:00:21,834
Do we get paid for that?

9
00:00:21,834 --> 00:00:23,300
You don't.

10
00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:25,234
But just look at
what's inside.

11
00:00:25,234 --> 00:00:27,601
Branimaniacs is chock-filled
with tasty bran,

12
00:00:27,601 --> 00:00:29,434
crunchy fiber,
natural roughage

13
00:00:29,434 --> 00:00:33,467
and tiny sugar cubes
shaped like my head.

14
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,467
It's an important part
of this balanced breakfast.

15
00:00:36,467 --> 00:00:37,467
So dig in, Skippy.

16
00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:40,133
You bet.

17
00:00:40,133 --> 00:00:42,801
And remember to start your day
with Branimaniacs

18
00:00:42,801 --> 00:00:44,501
for that get-up-and-go
feelin'.

19
00:00:50,601 --> 00:00:52,167
I gotta get up and go.

20
00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:53,901
I'll race ya.

21
00:00:54,767 --> 00:00:57,334
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

22
00:00:57,334 --> 00:01:00,100
ALL:
*Eat Branimaniacs *

23
00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:03,033
 * Nutritionally, it lacks *

24
00:01:03,033 --> 00:01:06,000
*But this cereal attacks
All of your digestive tracts *

25
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,534
 * It's braniman-y *

26
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,000
* My stomach's
In pain-y *

27
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,200
* Branimaniacs *

28
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,968
[***]

29
00:01:14,968 --> 00:01:18,534
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *

30
00:01:18,534 --> 00:01:21,167
* And we're zany to the max *

31
00:01:21,167 --> 00:01:22,934
* So just sit back and relax *

32
00:01:22,934 --> 00:01:24,634
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *

33
00:01:24,634 --> 00:01:27,033
* We're Animaniacs *

34
00:01:27,033 --> 00:01:28,834
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *

35
00:01:28,834 --> 00:01:30,467
* And the Warner sister, Dot *

36
00:01:30,467 --> 00:01:33,467
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *

37
00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:36,133
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *

38
00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:37,834
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *

39
00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:39,033
* And now you know the plot *

40
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:41,567
* We're Animaniacs *

41
00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:44,534
 * Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

42
00:01:44,534 --> 00:01:45,868
 * Wakko packs away the snacks *

43
00:01:45,868 --> 00:01:47,567
 * While Bill Clinton
 Plays the sax *

44
00:01:47,567 --> 00:01:49,634
* We're Animaniacs *

45
00:01:50,767 --> 00:01:51,968
 * Meet Pinky and the Brain *

46
00:01:51,968 --> 00:01:53,467
 * Who want to rule
 The universe *

47
00:01:53,467 --> 00:01:54,834
 * Goodfeathers flock together *

48
00:01:54,834 --> 00:01:56,367
 * Slappy whacks 'em
 With her purse *

49
00:01:56,367 --> 00:01:57,701
 * Buttons chases Mindy *

50
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,234
 * While Rita sings a verse *

51
00:01:59,234 --> 00:02:00,968
* The writers flipped
We have no script *

52
00:02:00,968 --> 00:02:02,133
* Why bother to rehearse? *

53
00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:04,901
* We're Animaniacs *

54
00:02:04,901 --> 00:02:07,734
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *

55
00:02:07,734 --> 00:02:09,167
* We're zany to the max *

56
00:02:09,167 --> 00:02:10,834
* There's bologna
In our slacks *

57
00:02:10,834 --> 00:02:12,400
* We're Animan-y *

58
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,734
* Totally insane-y *

59
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,267
* Come back, Shane-y *

60
00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:17,367
* Animaniacs *

61
00:02:17,367 --> 00:02:18,667
* Those are the facts *

62
00:02:23,234 --> 00:02:27,868
NARRATOR:
 Once upon a time
 in a land far, far away.

63
00:02:27,868 --> 00:02:29,734
 No, much further than that.

64
00:02:30,834 --> 00:02:33,200
 No, further still.

65
00:02:35,734 --> 00:02:38,234
 Ah, here we are.

66
00:02:38,234 --> 00:02:43,100
 Anyway, in this land
 far, far, far, far away,

67
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:46,634
 there was a village
 of poor but happy people.

68
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,167
 The villagers were poor

69
00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:51,334
 because they were
 terrorized by a giant

70
00:02:51,334 --> 00:02:53,200
 who lived in the clouds.

71
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,200
Aaaahhh!

72
00:02:56,601 --> 00:02:59,100
Dah, vroom, vroom!

73
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:00,701
Put-put-put-put-put. Vroom.

74
00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:02,667
[GUFFAWING]

75
00:03:06,234 --> 00:03:09,868
All the dinky treasures
of the world are mine.

76
00:03:10,634 --> 00:03:12,701
[GUFFAWING]

77
00:03:21,133 --> 00:03:24,467
NARRATOR:
 Also in this village
 lived the three Warners.

78
00:03:26,434 --> 00:03:28,300
 The Warners were so poor,

79
00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:30,968
 they had to sell
 their only possession...

80
00:03:30,968 --> 00:03:33,100
 a dried-up old cow.

81
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:34,467
Hmph.

82
00:03:34,467 --> 00:03:36,634
YAKKO:
There's
the used-cow salesman now.

83
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,033
Let me do the talking.

84
00:03:40,767 --> 00:03:43,834
Excuse me, but would you be
interested in buying our cow?

85
00:03:43,834 --> 00:03:45,801
Steers like a dream.

86
00:03:45,801 --> 00:03:49,467
Well, I don't know.

87
00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:50,834
How about buying Wakko?

88
00:03:50,834 --> 00:03:51,968
Why me?

89
00:03:51,968 --> 00:03:53,567
'Cause Dot gets
more letters.

90
00:03:58,033 --> 00:04:01,334
I can't help it
if I'm cute.

91
00:04:01,334 --> 00:04:03,234
Okay, tell you what,

92
00:04:03,234 --> 00:04:05,467
I'll give you a bean
for that cow.

93
00:04:05,467 --> 00:04:07,834
A bean? A bean?

94
00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:09,534
You should be ashamed
of yourself.

95
00:04:09,534 --> 00:04:11,300
Why, she's worth at least, uh...

96
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:12,434
three beans.

97
00:04:12,434 --> 00:04:14,033
Deal.

98
00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:20,334
There goes
our three-bean salad.

99
00:04:25,868 --> 00:04:27,300
Beans'll do that to you.

100
00:04:28,133 --> 00:04:30,434
[ALL YELP]

101
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:39,367
Ah. That's the last time
I ever travel by bean.

102
00:04:40,701 --> 00:04:41,701
Look.

103
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:44,968
NARRATOR:
 And sure enough,

104
00:04:44,968 --> 00:04:48,234
 the Warners had arrived
 at the giant's castle.

105
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,834
Looks like
Aaron Spelling's house.

106
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:56,300
WOMAN:
* Free me, free me
Won't you rescue me? *

107
00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:58,234
* The giant sleeps
Before he wakes *

108
00:04:58,234 --> 00:04:59,400
* Come in and rescue me *

109
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:01,434
Are you pretty?

110
00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:02,934
Yes.

111
00:05:02,934 --> 00:05:05,234
We'll be right there.

112
00:05:05,234 --> 00:05:07,067
Is there a handsome man
in there too?

113
00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:08,400
No.

114
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:09,801
I'll wait out here.

115
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:21,968
[***]

116
00:05:26,267 --> 00:05:28,968
This must be
Tori's dressing room.

117
00:05:28,968 --> 00:05:31,100
WOMAN:
Hello.

118
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:32,934
Please save me.

119
00:05:32,934 --> 00:05:35,434
BOTH:
Hello, harp!

120
00:05:35,434 --> 00:05:37,133
She's a dream.

121
00:05:37,133 --> 00:05:39,334
She's a princess.

122
00:05:39,334 --> 00:05:42,167
She's a woman
with a harp stuck to her back.

123
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,400
Boys.

124
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:46,400
[GIGGLING]

125
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,100
Oh, that tickles.

126
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:52,167
If you rescue me,
you'll be greatly rewarded.

127
00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:53,801
I'll give you four beans

128
00:05:53,801 --> 00:05:55,801
and a goose.

129
00:05:55,801 --> 00:05:57,434
How lucky can we get?

130
00:05:57,434 --> 00:06:00,701
Oh, but this goose
is very special.

131
00:06:00,701 --> 00:06:02,334
It lays golden eggs.

132
00:06:02,334 --> 00:06:05,033
A little fiber in its diet,
and it won't do that anymore.

133
00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:10,834
It's broken.

134
00:06:10,834 --> 00:06:12,701
[HONKS]

135
00:06:12,701 --> 00:06:14,200
I fixed it.

136
00:06:17,434 --> 00:06:19,400
[YAWNING]

137
00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:25,634
Please, we must leave
before the giant wakes.

138
00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:28,701
Lower me safely
to the floor.

139
00:06:29,701 --> 00:06:30,701
[SCREAMS]

140
00:06:30,701 --> 00:06:31,701
ALL:
Oops.

141
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:34,868
[GASPS]

142
00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:40,133
Ah-ha! I got teenie-weenies
in my house.

143
00:06:44,067 --> 00:06:45,934
[SCREAMS]

144
00:06:52,367 --> 00:06:53,367
ALL:
Hi.

145
00:06:57,100 --> 00:07:02,100
Pea, pie, poo, kerplot.
I smells Yakko, Wakko and Dot.

146
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,100
Don't you mean
fee-fi-fo-fum?

147
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,501
Yeah, but it don't rhymes
with Dot.

148
00:07:07,701 --> 00:07:09,400
You know,
you really should pluck

149
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,634
those unsightly nose hairs.

150
00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:13,367
Ow!

151
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:15,100
That smarted me.

152
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:16,501
I doubt it.

153
00:07:16,501 --> 00:07:19,834
Now, I's gonna eat you
teenie-weenies.

154
00:07:19,834 --> 00:07:20,834
Eat us?

155
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:22,234
You don't wanna
eat us.

156
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:23,934
We taste awful.

157
00:07:23,934 --> 00:07:25,067
ALL:
Blah!

158
00:07:25,634 --> 00:07:27,868
Hmm.

159
00:07:27,868 --> 00:07:28,868
[ALL WHISPERING]

160
00:07:28,868 --> 00:07:30,300
We know what you want.

161
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,734
You does?

162
00:07:31,734 --> 00:07:32,801
ALL:
Uh-huh.

163
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,400
[HONKS]

164
00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:45,801
I'm sure you'll love this.
Have a seat.

165
00:07:45,801 --> 00:07:48,067
Here's your meal,
gold eggs and meat.

166
00:07:48,067 --> 00:07:50,701
I does not like
gold eggs and meat.

167
00:07:50,701 --> 00:07:53,234
It's you who I would
like to eat.

168
00:07:58,334 --> 00:07:59,901
Would you like them
à la mode?

169
00:07:59,901 --> 00:08:02,901
Would you like them
with a toad?

170
00:08:02,901 --> 00:08:05,300
I would not like them
à la mode.

171
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:07,767
I would not like them
with a toad.

172
00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:10,100
I does not like
gold eggs and meat.

173
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:13,300
It's you who I would
like to eat.

174
00:08:14,834 --> 00:08:15,868
[***]

175
00:08:18,033 --> 00:08:20,067
Would you eat them
with a cod?

176
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,734
Holding up a
metal rod?

177
00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:24,734
I woulds not eat them
with a cod,

178
00:08:24,734 --> 00:08:27,033
holding up a metal rod.

179
00:08:31,701 --> 00:08:34,400
I does not like
gold eggs and meat.

180
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,567
It's you who I would
like to eat.

181
00:08:40,067 --> 00:08:42,267
How about with
a dash of salt?

182
00:08:42,267 --> 00:08:43,801
On the San Andreas Fault?

183
00:08:51,367 --> 00:08:56,167
No, not with a dash of salt
on the San Andreas Fault.

184
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:59,133
I does not like
gold eggs and meat.

185
00:08:59,133 --> 00:09:01,834
It's you who I would
like to eat.

186
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:04,133
[CROWD SCREAMING]

187
00:09:07,434 --> 00:09:09,801
Would you, could you
in Japan?

188
00:09:09,801 --> 00:09:11,601
With Godzilla and Rodan?

189
00:09:13,767 --> 00:09:18,300
I would not, could not in Japan
with Godzilla and Rodan.

190
00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:34,801
I will not eat gold eggs and
meat. It's--

191
00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:37,300
ALL:
Us that you would like to eat.

192
00:09:38,901 --> 00:09:40,801
Eat them,
eat them on a cloud.

193
00:09:40,801 --> 00:09:43,634
Oh, all right,
for crying out loud!

194
00:09:45,601 --> 00:09:47,801
Mmmmm!

195
00:09:47,801 --> 00:09:50,767
Gold eggs and meat
I do not hate.

196
00:09:50,767 --> 00:09:53,000
But now those clouds
won't hold your weight.

197
00:09:54,701 --> 00:09:56,434
Gee, I never thought
about that.

198
00:10:04,501 --> 00:10:09,133
Fee-fi-fo-fum,
I fall down and hurt my bum.

199
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,501
NARRATOR:
 And so, with the giant gone,

200
00:10:13,501 --> 00:10:16,934
 the poor village
 became a wealthy suburb.

201
00:10:21,534 --> 00:10:24,868
 And the heroic Warners
 were richly rewarded

202
00:10:24,868 --> 00:10:26,801
 for saving the village.

203
00:10:26,801 --> 00:10:30,067
As mayor of the village
of the happy and rich,

204
00:10:30,067 --> 00:10:35,434
I am proud to present
the three Warners with...

205
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:39,701
five beans
and Merv Griffin's autograph.

206
00:10:39,701 --> 00:10:41,400
[CROWD CHEERING]

207
00:10:44,067 --> 00:10:47,067
Doesn't anyone ever get cash
in fairy tales?

208
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,734
ALL:
* The crankiest of creatures
In the whole wide world *

209
00:10:54,734 --> 00:10:58,467
* Our next cartoon features
Slappy the Squirrel *

210
00:10:58,467 --> 00:11:02,000
Enough with the singin',
already.

211
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,834
* That's Slappy *

212
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,501
[BOTH GASP]

213
00:11:33,501 --> 00:11:35,968
 * Daniel Boone was
 A great big guy *

214
00:11:35,968 --> 00:11:38,234
 * Yes, a really big guy *

215
00:11:38,234 --> 00:11:40,801
 * He knocks down trees
 And frightens off bees *

216
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:43,767
 * So they'll cry *

217
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:49,267
Kentucky at last.

218
00:11:49,267 --> 00:11:51,968
I'm gonna build me
a little log cabin right here.

219
00:11:51,968 --> 00:11:55,367
Then a log cabin for my oxes.
Then a summer cabin.

220
00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:57,734
The only thing I love
more than buildin' cabins

221
00:11:57,734 --> 00:12:00,000
is choppin' down trees.

222
00:12:04,501 --> 00:12:07,968
Birch is good wood
for clothespins.

223
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,567
This oak'll
make a dandy shelf.

224
00:12:32,367 --> 00:12:35,033
Well, I'll be kissed
by a wolverine.

225
00:12:35,033 --> 00:12:36,367
A Bessemer elm.

226
00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:39,200
That's best wood around
for makin' a front door.

227
00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:47,000
 * Daniel Boone saw
 A great big tree *

228
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,100
 * An attractive tree *

229
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:51,801
 * But he didn't know
 It was home to a squirrel *

230
00:12:51,801 --> 00:12:55,501
 * Named Slappy *

231
00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:01,934
How come we're making so many
candles, Aunt Slappy?

232
00:13:01,934 --> 00:13:03,467
Skippy, it's the 1700s.

233
00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:05,400
What'd you expect,
Rollerbladin'?

234
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,634
[BANGING]

235
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:08,801
What's that?

236
00:13:08,801 --> 00:13:11,734
Maybe my colon, I hope not.
I'll go find out.

237
00:13:13,701 --> 00:13:16,534
Hey, you break this tree,
you're gonna pay for it.

238
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,434
Lookie here,
you old squirrel.

239
00:13:18,434 --> 00:13:19,467
I'm Daniel Boone,

240
00:13:19,467 --> 00:13:21,968
the best frontiersman
that ever lived.

241
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,267
Well, I'm Slappy Squirrel,

242
00:13:23,267 --> 00:13:25,267
and I'm so old
my blood is solid.

243
00:13:25,267 --> 00:13:26,834
What are you doin'
to my tree?

244
00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:30,434
I'm fixin' to make it into
the front door of my new cabin.

245
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:32,934
Now get,
or I'll make a cap out of you.

246
00:13:33,934 --> 00:13:36,267
I got your cap right here.

247
00:13:36,267 --> 00:13:40,701
Hmph! No old squirrel's gonna
stand between me and my cabin.

248
00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:44,534
Excuse me, there, Boone.

249
00:13:44,534 --> 00:13:47,100
Is there any chance
you might find another tree?

250
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,100
No.

251
00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,501
I was hopin'
you'd say that.

252
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,400
Maybe he can rent himself out
as a menorah.

253
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,567
[CHUCKLES]

254
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:05,100
 * Daniel Boone had
 A great big plan *

255
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,200
 * Yes, a very large plan *

256
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,634
 * He'd fix that squirrel *

257
00:14:08,634 --> 00:14:13,901
 * By yankin' her tree house
 From the land *

258
00:14:13,901 --> 00:14:17,334
Pull, you lazy,
good-for-nothin' critters!

259
00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:23,334
Reckon this will teach
that old squirrel

260
00:14:23,334 --> 00:14:25,300
that I'm the king
of the wilderness.

261
00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:27,300
Huh?

262
00:14:29,701 --> 00:14:31,667
What do you say?
We won't dray.

263
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:33,901
What we want is
an eight-hour day.

264
00:14:35,767 --> 00:14:38,267
What in blazes
are you doin'?

265
00:14:38,267 --> 00:14:40,334
Call me Norma Rae,
or Bob and Ray.

266
00:14:40,334 --> 00:14:42,334
But I unionized
your team.

267
00:14:42,334 --> 00:14:46,200
Get up and yank down that tree,
you dumb slabs of hide!

268
00:14:48,701 --> 00:14:50,334
[CHUCKLING]

269
00:14:54,901 --> 00:14:56,901
Management.

270
00:15:07,267 --> 00:15:09,767
 * Daniel Boone had
 Another big plan *

271
00:15:09,767 --> 00:15:11,734
 * Yes, a crafty plan-- *

272
00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:12,734
Shhh!

273
00:15:13,868 --> 00:15:15,534
[LAUGHING]

274
00:15:15,534 --> 00:15:18,801
I'm gonna give that squirrel
my famous panther call.

275
00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:24,567
She'll think
a for-real panther is comin'

276
00:15:24,567 --> 00:15:27,167
and run out of that tree
like a fat badger.

277
00:15:27,167 --> 00:15:30,300
[LAUGHING]

278
00:15:30,300 --> 00:15:31,300
[GROWLING]

279
00:15:32,267 --> 00:15:34,868
Gee, Aunt Slappy,
a panther.

280
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,167
You think so?

281
00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:38,100
Maybe we better run
for our lives, here.

282
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:40,467
[GROWLING]

283
00:15:46,901 --> 00:15:49,067
I'm running away
like a fat badger.

284
00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:52,167
[GROWLING]

285
00:15:52,167 --> 00:15:54,334
[ROARS]

286
00:15:59,968 --> 00:16:01,701
[YELLING, SNARLING]

287
00:16:01,701 --> 00:16:02,968
Whoa, panther!

288
00:16:03,767 --> 00:16:05,133
[WHIMPERS]

289
00:16:06,234 --> 00:16:08,467
The panther's
in my bridge club.

290
00:16:13,567 --> 00:16:15,968
 * Daniel Boone was
 Very, very sore *

291
00:16:15,968 --> 00:16:18,300
 * Yes, painfully sore *

292
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:19,801
 * He picked up a log *

293
00:16:19,801 --> 00:16:24,200
 *And charged
 Slappy Squirrel's front door *

294
00:16:26,701 --> 00:16:27,968
[YELLING]

295
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,868
Who was that,
Aunt Slappy?

296
00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,501
Maybe a Flying Wallenda.

297
00:16:34,501 --> 00:16:36,200
I'm not sure.
My eyes are bad.

298
00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:43,334
* Daniel Boone
Was a great big guy *

299
00:16:50,767 --> 00:16:53,267
 * Daniel Boone
 Was a big dang bird *

300
00:16:53,267 --> 00:16:55,334
 * Yes, a really big bird *

301
00:16:55,334 --> 00:16:56,701
* But he didn't know *

302
00:16:56,701 --> 00:17:02,300
 * That his disguise
 Was pretty absurd *

303
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:04,367
Quiet! You dadgum idiots.

304
00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:06,234
This is a dang good disguise.

305
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,968
[CHUCKLES]

306
00:17:07,968 --> 00:17:11,000
That old squirrel will think
I'm just a big woodpecker.

307
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,000
I'll chop down this here tree
right in front of her.

308
00:17:17,167 --> 00:17:19,167
[CRASHING]

309
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:21,167
Ah, there's no rest
for the elderly.

310
00:17:22,234 --> 00:17:24,167
Hey! Are you Daniel Boone?

311
00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,300
Shoot, no.
I'm a big woodpecker.

312
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:27,300
Get out of here

313
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:29,067
with that woodpecker thing,
there.

314
00:17:29,067 --> 00:17:30,067
You're Boone.

315
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:31,434
No, I ain't.

316
00:17:31,434 --> 00:17:34,367
My daddy was a big woodpecker
and his daddy before him.

317
00:17:34,367 --> 00:17:39,033
Can't you see how I'm-a peckin'
at your tree for bugs and such?

318
00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:41,534
I guess you really are
a big woodpecker.

319
00:17:41,534 --> 00:17:42,868
Dang straight.

320
00:17:42,868 --> 00:17:43,934
Then, here.

321
00:17:43,934 --> 00:17:46,601
I made you some
woodpecker lunch.

322
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,234
[***]

323
00:17:52,234 --> 00:17:53,634
[GROANS]

324
00:17:53,634 --> 00:17:56,501
That's...right neighborly
of you, ma'am.

325
00:18:00,501 --> 00:18:03,667
Yeah, there's nothin' like
dead bugs mixed with manure

326
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:06,234
and served on a big piece
of rotten bark, eh, Woody?

327
00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:08,100
[GAGGING]

328
00:18:09,601 --> 00:18:12,033
 * Daniel Boone
 Was a great big guy *

329
00:18:12,033 --> 00:18:14,234
 * Yes, a big sick guy *

330
00:18:14,234 --> 00:18:20,934
 * He lost his lunch
 All over the trees and sky *

331
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:22,200
That's nice singin'.

332
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,133
They remind me of
Up With People.

333
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:31,667
 *Daniel Boone
 Was a great big jerk *

334
00:18:31,667 --> 00:18:33,634
 * Yes, a stupid jerk *

335
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,634
 * He had another dumb plan *

336
00:18:35,634 --> 00:18:39,834
 * That more than likely
 Wouldn't work *

337
00:18:39,834 --> 00:18:42,434
That ties it.
You boys are fired.

338
00:18:42,434 --> 00:18:44,267
Come on down from there
and get.

339
00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:50,567
Hey, what's the big idea?
You can't just fire us.

340
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:52,167
Yeah, who do you think
you are?

341
00:18:52,167 --> 00:18:53,801
Hey, we got rights,
you know.

342
00:18:53,801 --> 00:18:55,434
Wait a second.
We got a contract.

343
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:56,801
Our agent said
two weeks' work.

344
00:18:56,801 --> 00:18:58,067
My agent said
the same thing.

345
00:18:58,067 --> 00:18:59,067
This is
ridiculous.

346
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:00,767
I said get!

347
00:19:00,767 --> 00:19:04,100
I'm gonna blow this here tree
and that old squirrel sky-high.

348
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:06,801
And I don't need
no dang smart-aleck chorus.

349
00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:22,934
If'n I can't have that tree,
then nobody's gonna have it.

350
00:19:25,334 --> 00:19:27,067
[CACKLES]

351
00:19:27,067 --> 00:19:29,901
Now, there's gonna be
a big hole in the ground.

352
00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:32,234
I could make it
into a root cellar

353
00:19:32,234 --> 00:19:33,667
or a...root cellar.

354
00:19:41,934 --> 00:19:44,534
Hey, Boone,
I moved all your gunpowder,

355
00:19:44,534 --> 00:19:46,400
it was attracting ants.

356
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,033
[YELLING]

357
00:19:48,033 --> 00:19:49,434
Shoot! Dang!

358
00:19:49,434 --> 00:19:50,534
[SCREAMING]

359
00:19:53,834 --> 00:19:56,734
Yeesh!
Bet that left a crater.

360
00:19:57,968 --> 00:20:00,467
What you wanna do tonight,
Aunt Slappy?

361
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:02,567
How 'bout a little music,
Skippy?

362
00:20:02,567 --> 00:20:03,868
Hit it, boys.

363
00:20:03,868 --> 00:20:06,400
[PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING]

364
00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:11,767
ALL:
* Slappy Squirrel
Was a grand old dame *

365
00:20:11,767 --> 00:20:13,801
*Yes, a very old dame *

366
00:20:13,801 --> 00:20:15,267
*She whipped Daniel Boone *

367
00:20:15,267 --> 00:20:20,334
* Now she pays us
To sing of her fame *

368
00:20:23,534 --> 00:20:26,367
What can I say?
I love the lyrics.

369
00:20:28,300 --> 00:20:30,734
[***]

370
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,100
It's over. Go away.