1
00:00:05,501 --> 00:00:07,267
[***]

2
00:00:07,267 --> 00:00:11,033
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *

3
00:00:11,033 --> 00:00:13,667
* And we're zany to the max *

4
00:00:13,667 --> 00:00:15,434
* So just sit back and relax *

5
00:00:15,434 --> 00:00:17,133
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *

6
00:00:17,133 --> 00:00:19,534
* We're Animaniacs *

7
00:00:19,534 --> 00:00:21,334
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *

8
00:00:21,334 --> 00:00:22,968
* And the Warner sister, Dot *

9
00:00:22,968 --> 00:00:25,968
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *

10
00:00:25,968 --> 00:00:28,634
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *

11
00:00:28,634 --> 00:00:30,334
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *

12
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:31,534
* And now you know the plot *

13
00:00:31,534 --> 00:00:34,067
* We're Animaniacs *

14
00:00:34,067 --> 00:00:37,033
 * Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

15
00:00:37,033 --> 00:00:38,367
 * Wakko packs away the snacks *

16
00:00:38,367 --> 00:00:40,067
 * While Bill Clinton
 Plays the sax *

17
00:00:40,067 --> 00:00:42,133
* We're Animaniacs *

18
00:00:43,234 --> 00:00:44,467
 * Meet Pinky and the Brain *

19
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:45,968
 * Who want to rule
 The universe *

20
00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:47,334
 * Goodfeathers flock together *

21
00:00:47,334 --> 00:00:48,868
 * Slappy whacks 'em
 With her purse *

22
00:00:48,868 --> 00:00:50,167
 * Buttons chases Mindy *

23
00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:51,734
 * While Rita sings a verse *

24
00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:53,467
* The writers flipped
We have no script *

25
00:00:53,467 --> 00:00:54,634
* Why bother to rehearse? *

26
00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:57,400
* We're Animaniacs *

27
00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,234
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *

28
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,667
* We're zany to the max *

29
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:03,334
* There's bologna
In our slacks *

30
00:01:03,334 --> 00:01:04,901
* We're Animan-y *

31
00:01:04,901 --> 00:01:06,234
* Totally insane-y *

32
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,767
* Come back, Shane-y *

33
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:10,000
* Animaniacs *

34
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,467
* Those are the facts *

35
00:01:13,634 --> 00:01:16,067
[***]

36
00:01:16,067 --> 00:01:20,968
 * Who can turn the stove on
 With her smile? *

37
00:01:22,801 --> 00:01:25,501
 * Who can take a bubble bath *

38
00:01:25,501 --> 00:01:28,767
* And suddenly fill it
 With crocodiles? *

39
00:01:28,767 --> 00:01:32,133
 * 'Cause it's you, Dot
 And you should know it *

40
00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:35,767
 * Put nitro on a bridge
 Go ahead and blow it *

41
00:01:35,767 --> 00:01:38,667
 * Mud is all around
 I guess it's spring *

42
00:01:38,667 --> 00:01:42,434
 * Name another crooner
 Other than Bing *

43
00:01:42,434 --> 00:01:47,767
 * Don't throw your hat
 Up in the air *

44
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:53,300
 * 'Cause what might land
 Is a Frigidaire *

45
00:01:54,701 --> 00:01:56,033
 * Dot *

46
00:02:02,901 --> 00:02:05,534
The building behind me
is Windsor Castle,

47
00:02:05,534 --> 00:02:08,767
one of the royal family's
most magnificent dwellings.

48
00:02:08,767 --> 00:02:13,100
Sadly, a fire in 1992 destroyed
much of the castle's interior.

49
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:16,033
Queen Elizabeth herself
is personally supervising

50
00:02:16,033 --> 00:02:18,467
the restoration
of the grand banquet room,

51
00:02:18,467 --> 00:02:21,167
the showpiece
of this remarkable structure.

52
00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:25,267
For the next three hours,
we'll examine this restoration.

53
00:02:25,267 --> 00:02:27,501
 We'll find out how it was done.
 We'll explore--

54
00:02:27,501 --> 00:02:28,901
We want to see
a cartoon!

55
00:02:28,901 --> 00:02:30,234
We wanted cartoons!

56
00:02:31,267 --> 00:02:32,434
All right, fine.

57
00:02:32,434 --> 00:02:34,167
We'll just see
a silly little cartoon

58
00:02:34,167 --> 00:02:35,300
about the whole thing.

59
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:37,267
CHILDREN:
 Yay!

60
00:02:37,267 --> 00:02:39,234
Wretched, snotty, little
children.

61
00:02:40,834 --> 00:02:43,234
ANNOUNCER:
 And now, the cartoon.

62
00:02:49,033 --> 00:02:51,033
[***]

63
00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:56,400
Put some elbow into it!

64
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,634
We must have this room finished
in time for the banquet tonight.

65
00:02:59,634 --> 00:03:00,701
Chop, chop!

66
00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:02,667
[***]

67
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,400
[BOTH BLOW RASPBERRIES]

68
00:03:08,901 --> 00:03:12,901
Really, Mummy, why do we have
to redecorate the banquet room?

69
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,667
Because we used up the budget
on the rest of the castle.

70
00:03:15,667 --> 00:03:16,901
Now, back to work!

71
00:03:16,901 --> 00:03:18,834
[SOBBING]
I'll never be queen!

72
00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:21,734
[TEARFULLY]
My paintbrush doesn't work!

73
00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:24,367
Twit.

74
00:03:26,033 --> 00:03:28,367
I don't wanna do
this poop anymore.

75
00:03:28,367 --> 00:03:30,000
I want some tea.

76
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,000
[ALL COMPLAINING INDISTINCTLY]

77
00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:34,400
Silence!

78
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:37,100
All day long,
whine, whine, whine!

79
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:39,434
What kind of family
have we raised?

80
00:03:39,434 --> 00:03:41,267
QUEEN MUM:
Just look at you.

81
00:03:41,267 --> 00:03:43,501
Well, if you don't want to help,
then leave.

82
00:03:44,701 --> 00:03:47,000
ROYAL FAMILY:
Hooray!

83
00:03:50,501 --> 00:03:51,501
Hmph!

84
00:03:51,501 --> 00:03:54,167
We'll just do it ourselves.

85
00:04:00,033 --> 00:04:02,868
We'll never have it finished
for tonight's banquet.

86
00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:04,133
YAKKO:
Hey, move over.

87
00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,534
WAKKO:
You move over.

88
00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:09,534
[IN UNISON]
Hello, queen!

89
00:04:09,534 --> 00:04:11,467
[IN UNISON]
Mwah!

90
00:04:11,467 --> 00:04:12,467
Ew.

91
00:04:14,501 --> 00:04:16,467
You know, you really oughta
clean that purse.

92
00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:17,467
[COUGHING]

93
00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:18,901
Who are you?

94
00:04:18,901 --> 00:04:21,801
BOTH:
We're the Warner brothers!

95
00:04:21,801 --> 00:04:23,601
And we proudly present...

96
00:04:23,601 --> 00:04:24,601
[HORNS PLAY LOUDLY]

97
00:04:26,868 --> 00:04:28,434
Her Decorating Highness,

98
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,934
Princess Angelina
Contessa Louisa Francesca

99
00:04:30,934 --> 00:04:33,200
Banana Fanna Bo Besca III.

100
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,200
[***]

101
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:38,767
Ta-da!

102
00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:42,300
Decorator Dot, at your service.

103
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:45,400
You, a decorator?
What are your credentials?

104
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,734
Well, I'm cheap.

105
00:04:47,734 --> 00:04:49,234
 [CASH REGISTER RINGS]

106
00:04:49,234 --> 00:04:50,801
You're hired!

107
00:04:50,801 --> 00:04:53,334
She might even let us fix
London Bridge.

108
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:54,334
Why's that?

109
00:04:54,334 --> 00:04:55,901
Keeps falling down.

110
00:04:55,901 --> 00:04:58,434
Now, we would like you
to begin work immediately.

111
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,634
Who'd like us to begin?

112
00:05:02,634 --> 00:05:05,300
We would. Us. Ourselves.

113
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,367
How many people you got
in there?

114
00:05:07,367 --> 00:05:09,634
[ECHOING]
Hello? Hello?

115
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:11,467
Get away from us!

116
00:05:11,467 --> 00:05:12,701
She needs therapy.

117
00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:20,000
All right, Sybil,
who am I speaking to now?

118
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,200
We insist that you stop this.

119
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,000
You people are crazy.

120
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,434
Look who's talkin'.

121
00:05:25,434 --> 00:05:27,367
[ALL BABBLING]

122
00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:28,968
We are not amused.

123
00:05:28,968 --> 00:05:30,868
Well, we certainly are.

124
00:05:30,868 --> 00:05:32,434
[ALL LAUGHING]

125
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,801
Stop this foolishness!

126
00:05:35,801 --> 00:05:37,434
All right,
but if you freak out again,

127
00:05:37,434 --> 00:05:39,267
we're using
the elephant tranquilizer.

128
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,300
Listen, lady,
we've got a lot of work to do,

129
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,734
so why don't you just go do
your little queen things?

130
00:05:44,734 --> 00:05:46,133
Well!

131
00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:47,968
[PASSES GAS LOUDLY]

132
00:05:47,968 --> 00:05:49,567
Oh, my.

133
00:05:52,334 --> 00:05:55,167
You found it! Thanks.

134
00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:56,267
[GROWLS]

135
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,701
That's gotta go.

136
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,801
And that.

137
00:06:02,934 --> 00:06:04,534
And that.

138
00:06:04,534 --> 00:06:05,667
[QUEEN MUM SCREAMING]

139
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,868
Mummy, look at me!

140
00:06:09,868 --> 00:06:12,767
I'm Papageno in The Magic Flute.

141
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,534
[GRUNTING]

142
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,634
Knock, knock.
WAKKO:Who's there?

143
00:06:22,634 --> 00:06:24,834
The queen.
The queen, who?

144
00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:27,901
The queen of England!

145
00:06:27,901 --> 00:06:30,367
That's not a very funny
knock-knock joke.

146
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,434
[QUEEN SCREAMS]

147
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,667
What have you done?

148
00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:38,734
A dinette set?

149
00:06:38,734 --> 00:06:41,734
The royal banquet room
has a dinette set?

150
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:43,033
You like?

151
00:06:43,033 --> 00:06:44,033
No!

152
00:06:44,033 --> 00:06:45,501
Well,
what does Sybil think?

153
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,100
I want some tea.

154
00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,868
Oh, not now, Mummy.

155
00:06:50,868 --> 00:06:53,701
That's not a mummy.

156
00:06:54,834 --> 00:06:56,734
Now, that's a mummy.

157
00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:59,300
[MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]

158
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:02,100
You people have ruined
everything.

159
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:05,033
The royal banquet's tonight
and look at this room.

160
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,801
It's all wrong!

161
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,400
Well, how should it look?

162
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:09,901
Like that.

163
00:07:09,901 --> 00:07:12,334
That's how it was
before the fire.

164
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:14,801
We can do that.

165
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,000
Yeah, no prob.

166
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,701
It's just gonna cost
a little more.

167
00:07:17,701 --> 00:07:19,501
More? More money?

168
00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:21,334
But there's no more
in the budget.

169
00:07:21,334 --> 00:07:22,734
It's all gone! Gone!

170
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:23,767
[SOBS]

171
00:07:23,767 --> 00:07:26,067
All right, sibs,
let's get to work.

172
00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:27,701
But how's she gonna pay for it?

173
00:07:27,701 --> 00:07:29,834
I have an idea.

174
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,934
That's right,
Yakko had a brilliant idea.

175
00:07:33,934 --> 00:07:35,601
An idea that would pay
for the cost

176
00:07:35,601 --> 00:07:36,868
of the redecorating.

177
00:07:36,868 --> 00:07:38,367
[CHATTERING]

178
00:07:40,234 --> 00:07:41,534
It's gorgeous.

179
00:07:41,534 --> 00:07:43,534
You'd never know
there'd been a fire.

180
00:07:58,100 --> 00:08:00,767
You're a smarty every day.

181
00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:05,901
Let's see.

182
00:08:05,901 --> 00:08:08,901
That's fruit cup,
mashed potatoes--

183
00:08:08,901 --> 00:08:10,400
Move your hand!

184
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,868
Two pats of butter.
That's extra.

185
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,334
Oh, goody, goody.

186
00:08:14,334 --> 00:08:16,634
[CASH REGISTER DINGING]

187
00:08:16,634 --> 00:08:18,767
We should open up
a whole chain.

188
00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:22,434
[***]

189
00:08:24,501 --> 00:08:26,367
And that's just
what the queen did.

190
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,801
She opened up
a whole chain of cafeterias.

191
00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:30,000
How did she do it?

192
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,534
What was the process?

193
00:08:31,534 --> 00:08:34,567
For the next three hours--

194
00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:38,467
[BRITISH ACCENT]
We declare this cartoon
officially over.

195
00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:39,934
Be free.

196
00:08:39,934 --> 00:08:41,434
 [CHILDREN CHEER]

197
00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:45,934
I still want my tea!

198
00:08:49,767 --> 00:08:52,834
The building behind me
is Windsor Castle,

199
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:56,300
one of the royal family's
most magnificent dwellings.

200
00:09:00,767 --> 00:09:04,100
* The crankiest of creatures
In the whole wide world *

201
00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:07,634
* Our next cartoon
Features Slappy the squirrel *

202
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:11,467
Enough with the singin' already.

203
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,334
*That's Slappy *

204
00:09:21,868 --> 00:09:23,868
[***]

205
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:29,901
BAILIFF:
Court is in session.

206
00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:32,467
Honorable Judge Lupine
presiding.

207
00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:34,167
Let's get this thing rolling.

208
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:36,033
 State v. Slappy Squirrel.

209
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:38,801
Charge is assault
with intent to squash.

210
00:09:38,801 --> 00:09:40,434
How does
the defendant plead?

211
00:09:40,434 --> 00:09:42,234
This is an outrage!

212
00:09:42,234 --> 00:09:44,400
I can't believe
they're givin' this Urkel kid

213
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,434
a Golden Wombat Award.

214
00:09:46,434 --> 00:09:48,567
He's never even done
a spit take.

215
00:09:48,567 --> 00:09:51,567
Uh, not guilty as charged,
there.

216
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,000
Is prosecution ready?

217
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,200
Ready to see justice done,
Your Honor.

218
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:00,567
[GRUNTING]

219
00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:04,501
[CHUCKLES]

220
00:10:05,467 --> 00:10:06,734
Aunt Slappy,

221
00:10:06,734 --> 00:10:09,701
I don't think you can get
a fair trial here.

222
00:10:09,701 --> 00:10:12,033
Whatever gave you that idea?

223
00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:14,334
[***]

224
00:10:14,334 --> 00:10:15,901
Listen, don't worry
about the whole

225
00:10:15,901 --> 00:10:17,400
jurisprudence,
change of venue,

226
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,167
 e pluribus unum thing here.

227
00:10:19,167 --> 00:10:20,934
I got a dynamite case.

228
00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:23,567
Very well,
prosecution may proceed.

229
00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:27,100
And hurry up. I've got
a clog-dancing lesson at 2.

230
00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:30,100
I call Walter Wolf to the stand.

231
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:33,534
You've had a horrible
experience, haven't you?

232
00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:34,934
Oh, yes.

233
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,767
I just want this to be over

234
00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:39,934
so I can go back to helping
people in need.

235
00:10:39,934 --> 00:10:42,434
ALL:
Aww.

236
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:43,567
Oh, please, Walter.

237
00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:45,300
If you acted that good
in your cartoons,

238
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:46,567
you'd be swimmin' in Oscars.

239
00:10:47,767 --> 00:10:49,701
Walter, in your own words,

240
00:10:49,701 --> 00:10:52,334
describe the events of June 4th.

241
00:10:52,334 --> 00:10:55,367
Well,
what really happened was this:

242
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:59,033
 I was taking
 my morning constitutional

243
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,334
 through the forest,

244
00:11:00,334 --> 00:11:04,000
 trying, in my small way,
 to make the woods

245
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,534
 a better place to live.

246
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:07,734
Good morning,
brother birdie.

247
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:09,634
[CHIRPING]

248
00:11:14,434 --> 00:11:16,234
[KISSES]
[SIGHS]

249
00:11:17,934 --> 00:11:20,434
[BOY CRYING]

250
00:11:20,434 --> 00:11:22,701
WALTER:
 Then, to my surprise,

251
00:11:22,701 --> 00:11:26,300
 I heard young Skippy Squirrel
 crying.

252
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:29,300
Why, Skippy, my young friend,
whatever happened to you?

253
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:32,968
Aunt Slappy yelled at me
for no reason.

254
00:11:32,968 --> 00:11:35,200
Oh, now,
you mustn't be too harsh

255
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:36,300
on your old aunt.

256
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,567
Her brain hasn't gotten
any oxygen

257
00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,033
since the early '70s.

258
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,467
It's not her fault.

259
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:45,267
I've brought her a wagon
full of yummy cakes.

260
00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:48,334
I'll bet they make
everything better.

261
00:11:48,334 --> 00:11:51,067
WALTER:
 I waved a cheerful goodbye
 to Skippy.

262
00:11:51,067 --> 00:11:53,868
 Then I merrily pranced
 to Slappy's house.

263
00:11:56,267 --> 00:11:58,300
[***]

264
00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:02,367
[DOORBELL RINGS]

265
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:06,834
[SCOFFS]
Walter Wolf,
you miserable do-gooder.

266
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,601
Good morning, Slappy.

267
00:12:08,601 --> 00:12:09,868
I've brought you
yummy cakes

268
00:12:09,868 --> 00:12:12,667
that will snap you out
of your foul mood.

269
00:12:12,667 --> 00:12:14,367
Look at your feet.

270
00:12:15,467 --> 00:12:16,634
What's the meaning of this,

271
00:12:16,634 --> 00:12:18,501
my old friend and associate?

272
00:12:18,501 --> 00:12:21,901
I'm gonna get ya, Walter.
You know why?

273
00:12:21,901 --> 00:12:23,868
For no good reason at all.

274
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,267
Hoo! Let me go.
I've done nothing.

275
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:33,267
[***]

276
00:12:34,767 --> 00:12:37,267
WALTER:
 And so, to my dismay,

277
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:40,267
 what had begun as
 a day of good works

278
00:12:40,267 --> 00:12:43,434
 was fast becoming
 a carnival of terror.

279
00:12:45,434 --> 00:12:46,934
[ALL SOBBING]

280
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,334
[SOBBING]

281
00:12:52,334 --> 00:12:53,968
I only wanted to help.

282
00:12:53,968 --> 00:12:55,767
Was that such a crime?

283
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,100
[TEARFULLY]
Of course not, Walter.

284
00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,934
[QUIETLY]
By the way,
golf this Sunday?

285
00:12:59,934 --> 00:13:03,667
[QUIETLY]
Sure, Ed. Let's tee off at 9.
My best to the missus.

286
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:05,567
No further questions.

287
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,434
Your witness.

288
00:13:10,634 --> 00:13:12,767
Walter, do you know
that you're under oath?

289
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:14,167
Yes.
Do you know

290
00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:15,801
that perjury is against
the law?

291
00:13:15,801 --> 00:13:17,033
[GULPS]
Yes.

292
00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:18,834
Do you know if pita bread
and hot root beer

293
00:13:18,834 --> 00:13:19,868
will give ya gas?

294
00:13:19,868 --> 00:13:21,767
Uh, I don't know.

295
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,701
No further questions.

296
00:13:23,701 --> 00:13:27,033
Aunt Slappy,
why'd you ask that question?

297
00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:28,667
I was just curious.

298
00:13:38,367 --> 00:13:39,934
State your name.

299
00:13:39,934 --> 00:13:41,400
Skippy Squirrel.

300
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,234
Occupation?

301
00:13:43,234 --> 00:13:46,100
Uh, I'm a squirrel.

302
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,968
Ooh, riveting questioning,
don't ya think?

303
00:13:48,968 --> 00:13:50,400
Now, then,

304
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,234
describe for the court
what you claim to have seen

305
00:13:53,234 --> 00:13:54,834
on the morning of June 4th.

306
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:58,467
 Okay, what really happened
was this:

307
00:13:58,467 --> 00:14:01,234
I was on my way
to visit aunt Slappy

308
00:14:01,234 --> 00:14:04,334
 when Walter Wolf drove by
 in a huge catapult.

309
00:14:04,334 --> 00:14:05,334
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

310
00:14:05,334 --> 00:14:07,834
[***]

311
00:14:07,834 --> 00:14:10,501
 He looked so scary
 that my fur hurt.

312
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,133
 And so I hid.

313
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:13,167
 And then he said:

314
00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:14,901
Only Slappy Squirrel

315
00:14:14,901 --> 00:14:17,334
stands between me
and total control

316
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:18,434
of the woodland.

317
00:14:18,434 --> 00:14:19,667
Once she's gone,

318
00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:22,734
I'll bend this forest
to my fiendish will.

319
00:14:22,734 --> 00:14:24,434
[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

320
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:30,300
Who says you have to be
a coyote to set traps?

321
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:32,901
I'm gonna whop Slappy so hard,

322
00:14:32,901 --> 00:14:35,467
her IQ will go up 20 points.

323
00:14:36,734 --> 00:14:39,200
Bees.
I'll toss bees into her home.

324
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,868
Nobody likes that.

325
00:14:40,868 --> 00:14:42,868
[***]

326
00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:58,601
My final act of vengeance
on Slappy Squirrel.

327
00:14:58,601 --> 00:15:01,000
Ooh, wrongdoing is good.

328
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,000
SKIPPY:
 Walter was gonna throw bees

329
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,667
 at Aunt Slappy.
 I couldn't believe it.

330
00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:08,434
 Aunt Slappy is
 the most nicest squirrel

331
00:15:08,434 --> 00:15:09,634
 in the whole wide world.

332
00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:15,334
 I had to warn her.

333
00:15:15,334 --> 00:15:17,033
It's a trap, Aunt Slappy!

334
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:21,701
Get lost, ya overgrown rat.

335
00:15:21,701 --> 00:15:24,834
SKIPPY:
 And Walter booted me,
 and I rolled a lot.

336
00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:27,033
 And then there was
 all these explosions,

337
00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:29,901
 and I didn't see what happened.

338
00:15:31,334 --> 00:15:35,033
But later, Aunt Slappy came
and got me, and we ate a pear.

339
00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:36,934
That's the truth.

340
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:38,701
[JURY SNORING]

341
00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:45,834
[WHISPERS]
Did you tell him
it had jelly in it?

342
00:15:45,834 --> 00:15:48,334
[YAWNS]
Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.

343
00:15:48,334 --> 00:15:50,534
Oh, sorry, are you done?

344
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,767
Your witness.

345
00:15:55,934 --> 00:15:58,601
Hi, Skippy.
Hi,
Aunt Slappy.

346
00:15:58,601 --> 00:16:01,400
Answer this question
to the best of your knowledge:

347
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,834
Do you know if Mr. Magoo
is in jail in Mexico?

348
00:16:05,534 --> 00:16:06,534
Yes.

349
00:16:06,534 --> 00:16:07,734
Oh, that's too bad.

350
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,434
I always wondered
what happened to him.

351
00:16:09,434 --> 00:16:11,767
No further questions here.

352
00:16:13,801 --> 00:16:16,901
Aunt Slappy,
ya gotta ask better questions.

353
00:16:16,901 --> 00:16:18,868
They're gonna railroad you.

354
00:16:18,868 --> 00:16:21,133
All aboard!

355
00:16:21,133 --> 00:16:23,767
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

356
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:26,634
Relax.
I'm just warmin' up here.

357
00:16:26,634 --> 00:16:28,634
I now call to the stand

358
00:16:28,634 --> 00:16:31,467
Slappy Squirrel.

359
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:37,234
[***]

360
00:16:37,234 --> 00:16:39,534
JUDGE:
Slappy Squirrel, take the stand.

361
00:16:39,534 --> 00:16:43,167
Ms. Squirrel, tell the court
what you claim happened

362
00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:44,634
on the morning of June 4th.

363
00:16:44,634 --> 00:16:45,701
Just the high points.

364
00:16:45,701 --> 00:16:47,467
I have to pick up my kid
from Gymboree.

365
00:16:47,467 --> 00:16:49,434
This is what really happened:

366
00:16:49,434 --> 00:16:51,501
I was sweepin' out some old junk
from my house

367
00:16:51,501 --> 00:16:52,801
 when I heard my nephew.

368
00:16:52,801 --> 00:16:54,501
SKIPPY:
It's a trap, Aunt Slappy!

369
00:16:54,501 --> 00:16:56,467
SLAPPY:
 When you get to be my age,

370
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,067
 you've seen every trap
 in the book.

371
00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:00,000
 And sure enough,
 there was Walter

372
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,067
 usin' rope-snare trap
 number 435.

373
00:17:05,667 --> 00:17:07,601
This is too embarrassin'
to watch.

374
00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:10,467
[***]

375
00:17:10,467 --> 00:17:11,968
[BUZZING]

376
00:17:13,801 --> 00:17:15,300
[CHUCKLES]

377
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,334
[***]

378
00:17:25,334 --> 00:17:28,133
Looks like fourth down
and long here.

379
00:17:32,901 --> 00:17:35,067
Yow! Ooch! Ow!

380
00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:36,067
Oh, I don't like bees.

381
00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:37,200
Ouch! Ooh!

382
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,534
But who does?
Are you kiddin'?

383
00:17:38,534 --> 00:17:40,501
Hoo. Hyah! Hoo. Oh.

384
00:17:40,501 --> 00:17:41,501
Hoo-ah!
Hey, Walter,

385
00:17:41,501 --> 00:17:43,267
you look good in a beehive.
Ooh! Ah!

386
00:17:43,267 --> 00:17:44,467
[LAUGHS]

387
00:17:44,467 --> 00:17:46,000
Ah, somebody stop me.

388
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,100
SLAPPY:
 Like the old sayin' goes:

389
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,534
 "Give someone enough rope...

390
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:51,000
 and they'll tie it
 to a catapult."

391
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,234
 Eh, somethin' like that.

392
00:17:52,234 --> 00:17:54,534
 What do you want from me?
 I'm old.

393
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:05,367
 For Walter,

394
00:18:05,367 --> 00:18:06,634
 it wasn't a bad trap,

395
00:18:06,634 --> 00:18:08,367
 but it needed
 a pinch of something extra

396
00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:09,701
 to make it special.

397
00:18:09,701 --> 00:18:11,234
Call me old-fashioned,

398
00:18:11,234 --> 00:18:13,901
but I've always been a believer
in the big bang theory.

399
00:18:13,901 --> 00:18:16,734
 So I added enough explosives
 to blow up Greenland.

400
00:18:16,734 --> 00:18:19,234
As a professional,
I take my work seriously.

401
00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:22,734
[***]

402
00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:50,701
As you can see,

403
00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:53,267
the way Walter and Skippy told,
it was way off.

404
00:18:53,267 --> 00:18:54,734
I didn't just squash him.

405
00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,834
I blasted him
into little pieces of lint

406
00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,634
like you find
at the bottom of your purse.

407
00:18:58,634 --> 00:19:01,100
Prosecution rests.

408
00:19:02,634 --> 00:19:04,400
All finished here.

409
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:05,501
Very well, Slappy.

410
00:19:05,501 --> 00:19:07,701
The jury's decision
will be final.

411
00:19:07,701 --> 00:19:09,133
Has the jury reached a verdict?

412
00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:10,968
Uh, we have, Your Honor.

413
00:19:10,968 --> 00:19:13,534
Uh, we, the jury,
find the defendant,

414
00:19:13,534 --> 00:19:15,667
uh, Slappy Squirrel, uh,

415
00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:16,667
not guilty.

416
00:19:16,667 --> 00:19:18,667
What?
[IN UNISON]
No!

417
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:21,033
[TEETH CHATTERING]

418
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:23,767
Good choice.

419
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,834
Hoo. You said
I couldn't lose!

420
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,634
You said everything was
taken care of!

421
00:19:30,634 --> 00:19:31,934
If you weren't my grandson,

422
00:19:31,934 --> 00:19:34,601
I'd really clobber you,
you meshuggener.

423
00:19:34,601 --> 00:19:36,267
Ow. Cut it out, Grandpa.

424
00:19:36,267 --> 00:19:39,133
I'm an attorney. I'm bonded.

425
00:19:39,133 --> 00:19:42,133
Wow, Aunt Slappy,
that was really neat.

426
00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:43,801
But how did you win?

427
00:19:43,801 --> 00:19:45,267
I told ya, Skippy,

428
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,834
I had a dynamite case.

429
00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:50,834
[EXPLOSION]

430
00:19:53,868 --> 00:19:55,000
Ha!

431
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,968
Now, that's comedy.

432
00:20:00,501 --> 00:20:02,501
[***]

433
00:20:04,501 --> 00:20:05,734
It's that time again.

434
00:20:05,734 --> 00:20:07,234
To chew up airtime?

435
00:20:07,234 --> 00:20:08,734
To waste our lives?

436
00:20:08,734 --> 00:20:11,300
No, it's time to learn
the day's lesson.

437
00:20:11,300 --> 00:20:13,033
And to find out what it is,

438
00:20:13,033 --> 00:20:15,334
we turn
to the Wheel of Morality.

439
00:20:16,834 --> 00:20:18,834
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.

440
00:20:18,834 --> 00:20:21,033
YAKKO:
Tell us the lesson
that weshould learn.

441
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:22,434
Moral number six.

442
00:20:22,434 --> 00:20:25,167
And the moral
of today's story is:

443
00:20:25,167 --> 00:20:28,167
"Possums have pouches
like kangaroos."

444
00:20:29,434 --> 00:20:30,767
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

445
00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:32,267
ALL:
Yipe!

446
00:20:32,267 --> 00:20:34,267
[***]

447
00:20:37,701 --> 00:20:39,701
[***]

448
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:11,133
Spew.