1 00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:07,901 [***] 2 00:00:07,901 --> 00:00:10,567 NARRATOR: Newsreel of the Stars. 3 00:00:10,567 --> 00:00:14,033 Dateline: Hollywood, 1930. The Warner Bros. Studio. 4 00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:16,434 Here at the studio's new animation department, 5 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:19,801 the artists toil endlessly to come up with cartoon stars, 6 00:00:19,801 --> 00:00:22,133 ultimately creating three new characters, 7 00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:25,133 the Warner brothers and their sister, Dot. 8 00:00:25,133 --> 00:00:27,801 WARNERS: Hello, Nurse! 9 00:00:27,801 --> 00:00:31,567 Unfortunately, the Warner kids were totally out of control. 10 00:00:31,567 --> 00:00:34,300 [IN UNISON] Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy. 11 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:37,434 The trio ran amok throughout the studio, 12 00:00:38,601 --> 00:00:40,501 until their capture. 13 00:00:40,501 --> 00:00:44,000 The Warners' films, which made absolutely no sense, 14 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,834 were locked away in the studio vault, 15 00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:47,934 never to be released. 16 00:00:47,934 --> 00:00:50,133 As for the Warners themselves, 17 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,434 they were locked away in the studio water tower, 18 00:00:52,434 --> 00:00:55,167 also never to be released. 19 00:00:55,167 --> 00:00:57,934 Publicly, the studio has disavowed any knowledge 20 00:00:57,934 --> 00:01:00,901 of the Warners' existence to this very day 21 00:01:00,901 --> 00:01:02,868 when the Warners escaped. 22 00:01:02,868 --> 00:01:04,367 [***] 23 00:01:04,367 --> 00:01:08,133 ALL: * It's time for Animaniacs * 24 00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,767 * And we're zany to the max * 25 00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:12,534 * So just sit back and relax * 26 00:01:12,534 --> 00:01:14,200 * You'll laugh Till you collapse * 27 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,601 * We're Animaniacs * 28 00:01:16,601 --> 00:01:18,367 BOTH: * Come join The Warner brothers * 29 00:01:18,367 --> 00:01:20,000 * And the Warner sister, Dot * 30 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,000 ALL: * Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot * 31 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,701 * They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught * 32 00:01:25,701 --> 00:01:27,400 * But we break loose And then vamoose * 33 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,601 * And now you know the plot * 34 00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:31,133 * We're Animaniacs * 35 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:34,133 * Dot is cute and Yakko yaks * 36 00:01:34,133 --> 00:01:35,467 * Wakko packs away the snacks * 37 00:01:35,467 --> 00:01:37,133 * While Bill Clinton Plays the sax * 38 00:01:37,133 --> 00:01:39,200 * We're Animaniacs * 39 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:41,534 * Meet Pinky and the Brain * 40 00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:43,033 * Who want to rule The universe * 41 00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:44,400 * Goodfeathers flock together * 42 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:45,934 * Slappy whacks 'em With her purse * 43 00:01:45,934 --> 00:01:47,267 * Buttons chases Mindy * 44 00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:48,801 * While Rita sings a verse * 45 00:01:48,801 --> 00:01:50,534 * The writers flipped We have no script * 46 00:01:50,534 --> 00:01:51,701 * Why bother to rehearse? * 47 00:01:51,701 --> 00:01:54,467 * We're Animaniacs * 48 00:01:54,467 --> 00:01:57,334 * We have pay-or-play Contracts * 49 00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:58,734 * We're zany to the max * 50 00:01:58,734 --> 00:02:00,400 * There's bologna In our slacks * 51 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:01,968 * We're Animan-y * 52 00:02:01,968 --> 00:02:03,400 * Totally insane-y * 53 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,868 * Here's the show's name-y * 54 00:02:04,868 --> 00:02:07,100 * Animaniacs * 55 00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:08,567 * Those are the facts * 56 00:02:11,567 --> 00:02:13,567 [***] 57 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:19,934 Sure, you may turn away from me now, 58 00:02:19,934 --> 00:02:23,901 but as long as I keep drinking my buttermilk, 59 00:02:23,901 --> 00:02:25,300 I can count on growing up 60 00:02:25,300 --> 00:02:27,300 with a serious lactose intolerance. 61 00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:28,300 [BURPS] 62 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:29,734 And even though I won't be able 63 00:02:29,734 --> 00:02:31,100 to digest the stuff, 64 00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:33,734 I'm gonna keep drinkin' my buttermilk. 65 00:02:34,934 --> 00:02:37,167 'Cause it'll always remind me of you 66 00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:40,868 and the way you snubbed me when I was young and innocent. 67 00:02:40,868 --> 00:02:43,968 In fact, in later years, I'll become downright obsessed 68 00:02:43,968 --> 00:02:45,200 with that memory. 69 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,167 Yeah, I'll spend years trackin' you down. 70 00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:49,467 And when I find ya, 71 00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:51,767 I'll give you exactly what you deserve, 72 00:02:51,767 --> 00:02:55,067 you no-good, heartless, half-witted yutz! 73 00:02:59,801 --> 00:03:01,534 [LAUGHING] 74 00:03:01,534 --> 00:03:04,300 ANNOUNCER: Buttermilk, it makes a body bitter. 75 00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,667 Ah, what do you know? 76 00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,667 [***] 77 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:19,000 And now, some sad news. 78 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,300 And now, some... 79 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,300 [SNIFFLES] 80 00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:22,934 ...sad news. 81 00:03:24,067 --> 00:03:26,300 Two minutes to airtime, Mr. Anchorman. 82 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:28,968 Quick, put some sincerity lines around my eyes. 83 00:03:28,968 --> 00:03:30,567 Where is that makeup man? 84 00:03:30,567 --> 00:03:31,601 [PANTING] 85 00:03:31,601 --> 00:03:33,601 Sorry I'm late, Mr. Anchorman. 86 00:03:33,601 --> 00:03:36,834 And now for some sad news. 87 00:03:36,834 --> 00:03:39,200 You're fired! 88 00:03:41,467 --> 00:03:43,834 All I ask for is a bit of support. 89 00:03:43,834 --> 00:03:45,734 And what do I get? Nothing! 90 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,100 Do you have any idea 91 00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:50,667 how truly useless you people are? 92 00:03:50,667 --> 00:03:54,501 I am surrounded by untalented incompetents! 93 00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:57,033 Why are you all standing around staring at me? 94 00:03:57,033 --> 00:03:59,367 Do you have any idea what time it is? 95 00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:00,501 YAKKO: Lunchtime. 96 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:01,934 Lunchtime? 97 00:04:03,501 --> 00:04:06,200 * We're from Sam 'N' Ella's Coffee Shop * 98 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,667 * Eat our food And you're bound to drop * 99 00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:11,667 * Then the only thing That's left to do * 100 00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:14,133 * Head to the potty And spew, spew, spew * 101 00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:16,334 * Sam 'N' Ella's * 102 00:04:16,334 --> 00:04:18,300 We're Beatrice. 103 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,501 I placed this order hours ago. 104 00:04:21,501 --> 00:04:23,067 Are you out of your minds? 105 00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:24,467 No, but we're out of our pickles. 106 00:04:24,467 --> 00:04:26,033 You'll have to take coleslaw. 107 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,300 Who has the tongue on a bun? 108 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,767 All right, who's the ham on rye? 109 00:04:32,767 --> 00:04:33,868 That's me. 110 00:04:33,868 --> 00:04:36,467 Just remember you said that, we didn't. 111 00:04:39,434 --> 00:04:41,968 I'm famished. 112 00:04:41,968 --> 00:04:44,501 How dare you take a bite out of my sandwich? 113 00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:46,567 Want it back? 114 00:04:46,567 --> 00:04:48,234 Eww! 115 00:04:49,901 --> 00:04:51,200 That'll be $6, 116 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,968 and remember it's customary to tip 15 percent. 117 00:04:53,968 --> 00:04:57,234 You expect me to pay for this? I didn't even get a sandwich. 118 00:04:57,234 --> 00:04:59,300 Oh, I guess you're the turkey on a roll. 119 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,334 [GOBBLING] 120 00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:04,434 Get out, you horrible little crustaceans. 121 00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,167 Get out, get out, get out! 122 00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:07,901 ALL: Whoa! 123 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,801 Why, of all the nerve. 124 00:05:14,801 --> 00:05:15,901 I'll say. 125 00:05:15,901 --> 00:05:17,767 We never even got our tip. 126 00:05:21,467 --> 00:05:23,601 DIRECTOR: Five, four, three. 127 00:05:23,601 --> 00:05:25,267 We're on the air. 128 00:05:25,267 --> 00:05:29,067 ANNOUNCER: And now Newstime Live with your cohosts 129 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,734 Dan Anchorman in New York 130 00:05:30,734 --> 00:05:33,501 and in Washington, Doo-Anne Sewer. 131 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,667 Hi, I have a new haircut. 132 00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:36,834 [CHUCKLES] 133 00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,534 Lovely, Doo-Anne. 134 00:05:38,534 --> 00:05:40,267 Tonight on NewstimeLive 135 00:05:40,267 --> 00:05:41,968 I'll show you the new American car 136 00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:45,067 that costs under $300 and runs on water, 137 00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:48,100 and how to make a million dollars without thinking. 138 00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,734 [SCREAMS] 139 00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:54,033 Thrilling, Doo-Anne, but first, my top story. 140 00:05:54,033 --> 00:05:56,167 Protesters have blockaded the entrance 141 00:05:56,167 --> 00:05:58,200 to the Newstime Live studios-- 142 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,601 Hey, that's us! 143 00:05:59,601 --> 00:06:01,434 ALL: Hey, hey, ho, ho! 144 00:06:01,434 --> 00:06:03,501 Cheapskate anchor's got to go! 145 00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:07,734 Hey, hey, ho, ho! Cheapskate anchor's got to go! 146 00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:09,801 This is Wolf Spritzer reporting. 147 00:06:09,801 --> 00:06:12,000 It appears that Dan Anchorman didn't give 148 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,567 these sandwich-delivery people a tip. 149 00:06:14,567 --> 00:06:16,000 We protest! 150 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,934 We protest that Dan Anchorman wouldn't take coleslaw 151 00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:20,467 instead of pickles. 152 00:06:20,467 --> 00:06:22,701 Dan Anchorman discriminates against garnishes. 153 00:06:22,701 --> 00:06:25,100 We protest that he's a picky pickle picker. 154 00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,434 Say that three times fast. 155 00:06:27,434 --> 00:06:29,200 Picky pickle plicky-- 156 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,901 Uh, plick-- Plicky puckle picker ple-- Plu-- 157 00:06:32,901 --> 00:06:35,501 You'll never make it on CNN. 158 00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:36,801 This is absurd. 159 00:06:36,801 --> 00:06:38,934 I will not have this broadcast interrupted 160 00:06:38,934 --> 00:06:40,434 by a bunch of little kids! 161 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,834 We protest you calling us little kids! 162 00:06:42,834 --> 00:06:45,501 We prefer to be called vertically impaired pre-adults. 163 00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:47,133 I hate you! I hate you! 164 00:06:47,133 --> 00:06:48,734 I hate you! 165 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,367 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] 166 00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:53,601 We'll be right back after this commercial. 167 00:06:53,601 --> 00:06:55,100 DOT: We interrupt Newstime Live 168 00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,100 to bring you this special report. 169 00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:59,467 Our topic: Why people don't tip. 170 00:06:59,467 --> 00:07:02,634 For the answer, we turn to William F. Yakkly. 171 00:07:02,634 --> 00:07:05,567 And I think, uh, the reason, uh, people do not affix 172 00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:07,367 a compensation for service-- 173 00:07:07,367 --> 00:07:09,133 In layman's terms, a tip. 174 00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:12,968 --is that they are, in fact, extremely cheap. 175 00:07:12,968 --> 00:07:15,534 Would you say TV newsmen are extremely cheap? 176 00:07:15,534 --> 00:07:19,801 No, except, of course, for Mr. Dan Anchorman. 177 00:07:20,868 --> 00:07:23,767 You-- You are horrible little--! 178 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,133 Wonderful tykes. 179 00:07:27,133 --> 00:07:30,300 I see I haven't appreciated your playful side. 180 00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:31,367 That's us. 181 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:33,334 We're just fun-lovin' rascals. 182 00:07:33,334 --> 00:07:35,834 Exactly, and I'm going to make sure you get 183 00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:37,234 that tip I owe you. 184 00:07:37,234 --> 00:07:40,434 Really? Then we apologize about calling you cheap. 185 00:07:40,434 --> 00:07:43,734 Yeah, you're probably very generous, we hope. 186 00:07:43,734 --> 00:07:46,534 Why, thank you. And now here's your tip. 187 00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:49,200 Don't mess with an anchorman! 188 00:07:54,801 --> 00:07:56,300 [PANTING] 189 00:07:58,868 --> 00:08:00,367 [LAUGHING] 190 00:08:02,534 --> 00:08:05,000 Why'd he lock us in the control room? 191 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000 YAKKO: I don't know, 192 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,601 maybe he wants us to direct. 193 00:08:08,601 --> 00:08:11,334 We apologize for the technical difficulties. 194 00:08:11,334 --> 00:08:14,033 I've been informed that everything is under control. 195 00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:16,200 "Ground Control to Major Tom. 196 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,367 Commencing countdown, engines on." 197 00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:24,934 [***] 198 00:08:26,734 --> 00:08:29,400 Hey, what's going on here? 199 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,667 Uh, and now tonight's Newstime Live headlines. 200 00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:36,367 Not those headlines, these headlines. 201 00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:38,467 But first, our forecast. 202 00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:39,801 Large pointy things here, 203 00:08:39,801 --> 00:08:41,868 followed by big, fluffy gray things here. 204 00:08:41,868 --> 00:08:44,033 Isn't video technology keen? 205 00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:47,100 Ooh, it looks like some really bad dental work here. 206 00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:48,868 And if you're driving Hey, slow down! 207 00:08:48,868 --> 00:08:52,434 through here, don't worry, there's no brain in sight. 208 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,834 I'm too good for this. 209 00:08:55,834 --> 00:08:58,000 His head looks bigger on TV. 210 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,267 Well, I'll put a stop to that, my sib sister. 211 00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:05,434 [IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] You can't do this to me. 212 00:09:05,434 --> 00:09:08,133 DAN: I'm a giant in this industry. 213 00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,767 Anybody mind if I see what else is on? 214 00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:11,801 [IN UNISON] Nope. 215 00:09:12,968 --> 00:09:15,033 [STATIC] 216 00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:17,901 Hey, little buddy. Where'd this guy come from? 217 00:09:17,901 --> 00:09:21,167 He's a space alien. Hit him with a coconut. 218 00:09:23,534 --> 00:09:26,167 Uh, seen that one. [CLICKS] 219 00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:28,200 [SCREAMING, BANGING] 220 00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,100 [CAMERA CLICKS] 221 00:09:31,801 --> 00:09:33,200 [CLICK] 222 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,200 ANNOUNCER: And now Bulk Logan will take on 223 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,133 some guy in a suit. 224 00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:41,534 Stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! 225 00:09:41,534 --> 00:09:42,567 I give up! [CLICK] 226 00:09:43,601 --> 00:09:46,167 [CHUCKLES] Ladies and gentlemen, 227 00:09:46,167 --> 00:09:48,734 I want to make a public apology 228 00:09:48,734 --> 00:09:52,100 for not tipping my sandwich-friends. 229 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,400 And now for some sad news. 230 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,534 The host of this news show, Dan Anchorman, 231 00:09:57,534 --> 00:10:00,367 was taken away today for a nice long rest. 232 00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,167 [GIGGLING MANIACALLY] 233 00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:07,901 And here's our tip for the day. 234 00:10:07,901 --> 00:10:10,868 Be real nice to people who handle your food. 235 00:10:10,868 --> 00:10:11,868 Or it's... 236 00:10:11,868 --> 00:10:13,467 [SNIFFLES] ...sad news. 237 00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:14,701 As for us... 238 00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,834 [IN UNISON] We are outta here! 239 00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:23,434 ANNOUNCER: It's time for another "Good Idea, Bad Idea." 240 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:27,601 Good idea. 241 00:10:27,601 --> 00:10:29,767 Havin' breakfast served to you in bed. 242 00:10:31,701 --> 00:10:33,601 Bad idea. 243 00:10:33,601 --> 00:10:36,467 Havin' tennis balls served to you in bed. 244 00:10:39,868 --> 00:10:42,133 The end. 245 00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:44,300 * When the birds hit The street * 246 00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:45,868 * Lookin' for food to eat * 247 00:10:45,868 --> 00:10:47,033 * That's Goodfeathers * 248 00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:48,868 * That's Goodfeathers * 249 00:10:48,868 --> 00:10:51,901 * When I'm cooin' at you And you're cooin' at me * 250 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,734 * That's Goodfeathers * 251 00:10:53,734 --> 00:10:56,167 * Take no guff 'Cause they're tough * 252 00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:58,033 * Strut their stuff No cream puffs * 253 00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,968 * That's Goodfeathers * 254 00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:12,834 SQUIT: As far back as I can remember, Bobby was a fighter. 255 00:11:12,834 --> 00:11:14,167 He had class. 256 00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:15,467 He could have been a contender, 257 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:17,534 but he never fought professionally. 258 00:11:19,534 --> 00:11:20,534 [CROWD CHEERING] 259 00:11:20,534 --> 00:11:21,868 [BELL DINGS] 260 00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:26,801 You see, if you were a Goodfeather, 261 00:11:26,801 --> 00:11:28,033 you didn't have to fight 262 00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:30,367 to prove you were a tough bird to nobody, 263 00:11:30,367 --> 00:11:34,167 unless that nobody was a somebody, like Lana. 264 00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:37,267 Bada-bing, bang, boom! What a fight, huh? 265 00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:38,901 [YAWNS] 266 00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:44,901 [DINGS] 267 00:11:44,901 --> 00:11:47,801 And the winner by a beakout, 268 00:11:47,801 --> 00:11:52,334 the undefeated heavyweight beaking champion of the city, 269 00:11:52,334 --> 00:11:54,601 Pretty Boy Robin! 270 00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:56,100 [CHEERING, APPLAUDING] 271 00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:01,667 You could beak out Pretty Boy, Bobby. 272 00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:04,667 Win the purse, the title. You could do that. 273 00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,834 I could beak him down with one whack. 274 00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,300 No big deal. 275 00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:10,000 Yeah, he's a nothin'. 276 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,567 Just good-looking, that's all. 277 00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:13,033 You think he's good-lookin'? 278 00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:15,634 I don't know. Everybody says he's good-looking. 279 00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:17,634 Who says he's good-lookin'? Do you say that? 280 00:12:17,634 --> 00:12:19,467 No way, not me. Forget about it. 281 00:12:19,467 --> 00:12:21,501 Well, he is kind of cute. 282 00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:23,033 Bada-bing. 283 00:12:25,734 --> 00:12:28,734 [COOS] Big shot, are you good-looking? 284 00:12:28,734 --> 00:12:30,200 I don't think so. 285 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,234 [SNIFFS] 286 00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:32,701 Huh? Who is that? 287 00:12:32,701 --> 00:12:35,367 I don't know. Maybe it's the Big Bad Wolf. 288 00:12:35,367 --> 00:12:37,367 Yo, it's a Goodfeather. 289 00:12:37,367 --> 00:12:38,467 I been waitin' for years 290 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,400 to get one of you tough birds in the ring. 291 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,400 [CHUCKLES] 292 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,200 I'll beak in the ring with you. 293 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,367 [SNIFFS] Good. 294 00:12:44,367 --> 00:12:46,734 I'll see your beak in a week. 295 00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:51,667 [COOS] What did I get myself into? 296 00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:54,701 You got yourself into a fight with Pretty Boy, that's what. 297 00:12:54,701 --> 00:12:56,567 Unless you get a manager and some training, 298 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,734 you got yourself a one-way ticket to Palookaville. 299 00:12:58,734 --> 00:12:59,767 That's what you got. 300 00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:01,033 He got a shot at the title, 301 00:13:01,033 --> 00:13:02,067 and he'll win too, 302 00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:03,968 'cause Pretty Boy's a nothin'. 303 00:13:03,968 --> 00:13:05,634 Just got a pretty face, that's all. 304 00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:08,200 Ooh, bada-bing! 305 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,200 [***] 306 00:13:16,634 --> 00:13:19,267 Relax, will ya? You're givin' me the zigzags over here. 307 00:13:19,267 --> 00:13:21,701 [COOS] I always said I could beak-out Pretty Boy, 308 00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,901 but I got these doubts, you know what I'm sayin'? 309 00:13:23,901 --> 00:13:25,267 Look at my wings. 310 00:13:25,267 --> 00:13:26,767 I got these small wings. 311 00:13:26,767 --> 00:13:28,234 I got little-girl wings. 312 00:13:28,234 --> 00:13:30,434 Do me a favor. I want you to whack me in the beak. 313 00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:31,534 Forget about it. 314 00:13:31,534 --> 00:13:33,133 Come on, whack me. Naw, I ain't. 315 00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:34,400 Come on, take your best shot. 316 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,767 I ain't whacking ya. Come on. 317 00:13:35,767 --> 00:13:37,033 What are you trying to prove? 318 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,300 Come on. What's it prove? 319 00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:39,701 Whack him, Pesto. 320 00:13:39,701 --> 00:13:42,067 I'd like to see you two in a round of whackin'. 321 00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,534 BOBBY: Come here. SQUIT: Hey! 322 00:13:48,534 --> 00:13:50,234 BOBBY: Here's some whackin' over here. 323 00:13:50,234 --> 00:13:52,868 Don't tell me what I gotta do. SQUIT: Come on, knock it off. 324 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:56,334 [SMACKS] 325 00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:57,367 Hey, Lana. 326 00:13:57,367 --> 00:13:58,367 [COOING] 327 00:13:59,601 --> 00:14:00,801 Hey, Lana. How you doin'? 328 00:14:00,801 --> 00:14:03,467 I just wanted to stop by, give you a kiss, 329 00:14:03,467 --> 00:14:04,667 wish you luck for the fight. 330 00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:05,667 [SMACKS] 331 00:14:05,667 --> 00:14:07,167 I gotta go. See ya. 332 00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:09,133 Go ahead. 333 00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:10,934 Are you cooin' with my bird? What? 334 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,167 Are you cooin' with my bird? 335 00:14:12,167 --> 00:14:13,934 How could you ask me a question like that? 336 00:14:13,934 --> 00:14:15,601 Just tell me. I'm not answerin' that. 337 00:14:15,601 --> 00:14:16,934 It's stupid. 338 00:14:16,934 --> 00:14:19,667 I'm gonna ask you again: Are you, or are you not? 339 00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:21,167 What? Come on, you're a wacko. 340 00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:23,100 No, this is a wacko. 341 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:25,100 [***] 342 00:14:27,501 --> 00:14:30,634 MAN: Word's out you need a manager, ya bum. 343 00:14:30,634 --> 00:14:32,067 With me in your corner, 344 00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:34,534 you got a shot at beatin' Pretty Boy Robin. 345 00:14:34,534 --> 00:14:37,734 [COOS] I'm crackin' up, hearin' voices over here. 346 00:14:37,734 --> 00:14:39,434 MAN: Down here, ya bum. 347 00:14:42,367 --> 00:14:43,634 [BOTH LAUGHING] 348 00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:45,434 [LAUGHING] 349 00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:50,834 Hoo-hoo. Look at Mr. Tough-Bird- the-Size-of-a-Pea over here. 350 00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:52,000 [CACKLING] 351 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,534 The name is Max, ya bum. 352 00:14:55,534 --> 00:14:57,067 Now, this is the setup, see? 353 00:14:57,067 --> 00:15:00,067 I got a grudge to settle with P.B. Robin. 354 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,534 Years ago before I got in the ring with that bird, 355 00:15:02,534 --> 00:15:04,133 I was the size of a dog! 356 00:15:04,133 --> 00:15:06,400 So I'm gonna manage ya, ya bum. 357 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,267 And I'm gonna work ya into a wreckin' machine. 358 00:15:09,267 --> 00:15:10,267 Deal? 359 00:15:10,267 --> 00:15:11,267 Deal. 360 00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:13,267 [***] 361 00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,167 BOBBY: Sweet Scorsese, what is that? 362 00:15:22,167 --> 00:15:23,934 We got movin' trees over here. 363 00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:26,067 Them ain't no trees, ya bum. 364 00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:27,334 Them is legs. 365 00:15:27,334 --> 00:15:29,334 That's One-Punch Paulie. 366 00:15:29,334 --> 00:15:31,334 He's your sparrin' partner. 367 00:15:31,334 --> 00:15:32,834 [SCREAMING] 368 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,234 He's a bum, I tell ya, 369 00:15:36,234 --> 00:15:37,234 A bum. 370 00:15:37,701 --> 00:15:39,000 [GRUNTING] 371 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,701 I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss. 372 00:15:40,701 --> 00:15:41,701 [GRUNTING] 373 00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:45,767 Work it! Work it! 374 00:15:45,767 --> 00:15:48,000 You got what it takes to be a wreckin' machine? 375 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,000 [BOBBY GRUNTING] 376 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,000 BOBBY: I'm the boss-- 377 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,033 [GRUNTS] 378 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,701 Just what I need, a bum-sicle. 379 00:15:53,701 --> 00:15:55,701 [***] 380 00:15:56,767 --> 00:15:58,267 [PANTING] 381 00:16:00,434 --> 00:16:01,467 [GROANS] 382 00:16:05,634 --> 00:16:07,701 You'll never be anything more than a bum, 383 00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:09,534 ya bum! 384 00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,801 Yo, why you callin' me a bum all the time? 385 00:16:12,801 --> 00:16:15,300 'Cause you're a bum, ya bum! 386 00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:16,534 Oh. 387 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:23,400 [***] 388 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,701 [CHEERING] 389 00:16:27,100 --> 00:16:29,467 Max, what do you think my chances are? 390 00:16:29,467 --> 00:16:32,334 Did you do everything you wanted to do in life? 391 00:16:32,334 --> 00:16:33,634 No. Too bad. 392 00:16:33,634 --> 00:16:34,767 [BELL DINGS] 393 00:16:34,767 --> 00:16:37,133 SPECTATOR: Yeah! Come on! Pulverize him! 394 00:16:37,133 --> 00:16:38,968 [CHEERING] 395 00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,200 Touch beaks and come out flappin'. 396 00:16:48,701 --> 00:16:49,734 [SMOOCHES] 397 00:16:52,934 --> 00:16:54,400 [DINGS] 398 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,400 [GRUNTING] 399 00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,601 [BOOING] 400 00:17:01,734 --> 00:17:02,734 [GRUNTS] 401 00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,334 Coo. I ain't gonna watch that. 402 00:17:20,334 --> 00:17:21,467 That's uglifyin'. 403 00:17:24,534 --> 00:17:26,033 [RAPID, HOLLOW TAPPING] 404 00:17:28,234 --> 00:17:30,200 [CROWD CHEERING] 405 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,501 No way I'm goin' down. I don't go down for nobody. 406 00:17:33,501 --> 00:17:34,634 Psst. 407 00:17:34,634 --> 00:17:36,200 Bobby, you are down. 408 00:17:39,234 --> 00:17:41,968 Yo, Lana, wanna see my wingspan? 409 00:17:46,834 --> 00:17:48,467 Bada-bing. 410 00:17:50,601 --> 00:17:52,133 Are you cooin' with my bird? 411 00:17:58,701 --> 00:18:00,200 [AS ROCKY] Yo, Adrian! 412 00:18:01,634 --> 00:18:03,400 [CHEERING] 413 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:04,400 All right, Bobby! 414 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,601 That was great, Bobby! That was great! 415 00:18:06,601 --> 00:18:07,601 [SMOOCHES] 416 00:18:12,033 --> 00:18:14,000 He ain't pretty no more. 417 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,234 And the winner by unanimous decision, 418 00:18:17,234 --> 00:18:19,968 the new heavyweight beakin' champion of the city, 419 00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,400 Bobby Goodfeather! 420 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,901 [CROWD CHEERING, APPLAUDING] 421 00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:27,467 PESTO: Congratulations, pal! SQUIT:You did it! 422 00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:31,634 Oh, look at the purse. 423 00:18:31,634 --> 00:18:34,334 [COOS] I never won so much seed in my life. 424 00:18:40,734 --> 00:18:42,234 [SPEAKING GIBBERISH] 425 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,367 Now, the Godpigeon asks that as a bird of respect, 426 00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:49,667 I offer him a share of the purse. 427 00:18:57,133 --> 00:18:58,634 [SPEAKING GIBBERISH] 428 00:19:01,734 --> 00:19:04,434 The Godpigeon says he's been cooin' with my bird. 429 00:19:07,767 --> 00:19:09,801 Forget about it, Bobby. She'll be back. 430 00:19:09,801 --> 00:19:12,501 Attabird, Pesto, always the optimist. 431 00:19:12,501 --> 00:19:13,934 What do you mean by that? 432 00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:15,367 I said you're an optimist. 433 00:19:15,367 --> 00:19:16,968 An optimist? What are you sayin'? 434 00:19:16,968 --> 00:19:19,300 That I'm some kind of doctor here to test your vision? 435 00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:20,701 That I'm an eyeball inspector? 436 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,601 That I make a spectacle of myself? 437 00:19:22,601 --> 00:19:23,767 Is that what you're sayin'? 438 00:19:23,767 --> 00:19:25,300 No, no, I'm not sayin' that. 439 00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:28,567 I'm just saying that you look on the bright side, an optimist. 440 00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:29,901 I am an optimist? 441 00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:31,901 Yeah, that's what I'm sayin'. 442 00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:32,901 That's it! Come here! 443 00:19:32,901 --> 00:19:34,267 [BOTH SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 444 00:19:34,267 --> 00:19:36,634 [LAUGHING] 445 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:39,234 SQUIT: Bobby never fought in the ring again. 446 00:19:39,234 --> 00:19:42,234 He said he'd rather watch me and Pesto wing it out. 447 00:19:42,234 --> 00:19:44,067 Why? 'Cause... 448 00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:45,567 That's entertainment. 449 00:19:45,567 --> 00:19:47,067 [LAUGHING] 450 00:19:55,334 --> 00:19:58,601 NARRATOR: It's time for another "Good Idea, Bad Idea." 451 00:19:59,767 --> 00:20:01,701 Good idea. 452 00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:02,901 [***] 453 00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,667 Whistling while you work. 454 00:20:04,667 --> 00:20:07,734 [WHISTLING "I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAILROAD"] 455 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,601 Bad idea. 456 00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:16,400 Whistling while you eat. 457 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,334 [WHISTLING "I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAILROAD"] 458 00:20:19,334 --> 00:20:20,834 [SPUTTERING] 459 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,067 The end. 460 00:20:28,767 --> 00:20:30,767 [***] 461 00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:06,334 It's over. Go away.