1
00:00:06,701 --> 00:00:08,801
NARRATOR:
 And now Dot's Poetry Corner.

2
00:00:10,467 --> 00:00:11,901
[CLEARS THROAT]

3
00:00:11,901 --> 00:00:14,267
"Ode to Jack"

4
00:00:14,267 --> 00:00:16,767
Jack be nimble
Jack be quick

5
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,968
Jack jumped over
The candlestick

6
00:00:18,968 --> 00:00:20,634
And burnt his butt

7
00:00:20,634 --> 00:00:21,901
Thank you.

8
00:00:21,901 --> 00:00:23,400
[PEOPLE
SNAPPING]

9
00:00:26,634 --> 00:00:28,334
NARRATOR:
 This has been another visit

10
00:00:28,334 --> 00:00:30,133
 to Dot's Poetry Corner.

11
00:00:32,234 --> 00:00:33,501
[***]

12
00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:36,601
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *

13
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:39,267
* And we're zany to the max *

14
00:00:39,267 --> 00:00:41,000
* So just sit back and relax *

15
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,667
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *

16
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,067
* We're Animaniacs *

17
00:00:45,067 --> 00:00:46,868
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *

18
00:00:46,868 --> 00:00:48,501
* And the Warner sister, Dot *

19
00:00:48,501 --> 00:00:51,567
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *

20
00:00:51,567 --> 00:00:54,200
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *

21
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,901
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *

22
00:00:55,901 --> 00:00:57,100
* And now you know the plot *

23
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,634
* We're Animaniacs *

24
00:00:59,634 --> 00:01:02,634
 * Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

25
00:01:02,634 --> 00:01:03,934
 * Wakko packs away the snacks *

26
00:01:03,934 --> 00:01:05,634
 * While Bill Clinton
 Plays the sax *

27
00:01:05,634 --> 00:01:07,701
* We're Animaniacs *

28
00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:10,033
 * Meet Pinky and the Brain *

29
00:01:10,033 --> 00:01:11,534
 * Who want to rule
 The universe *

30
00:01:11,534 --> 00:01:12,901
 * Goodfeathers flock together *

31
00:01:12,901 --> 00:01:14,434
 * Slappy whacks 'em
 With her purse *

32
00:01:14,434 --> 00:01:15,734
 * Buttons chases Mindy *

33
00:01:15,734 --> 00:01:17,267
 * While Rita sings a verse *

34
00:01:17,267 --> 00:01:19,000
* The writers flipped
We have no script *

35
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,167
* Why bother to rehearse? *

36
00:01:20,167 --> 00:01:22,934
* We're Animaniacs *

37
00:01:22,934 --> 00:01:25,801
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *

38
00:01:25,801 --> 00:01:27,234
* We're zany to the max *

39
00:01:27,234 --> 00:01:28,901
* There's bologna
In our slacks *

40
00:01:28,901 --> 00:01:30,467
* We're Animan-y *

41
00:01:30,467 --> 00:01:31,901
* Totally insane-y *

42
00:01:31,901 --> 00:01:33,334
* The rain in Spain-y

43
00:01:33,334 --> 00:01:35,567
* Animaniacs *

44
00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:37,033
* Those are the facts *

45
00:01:41,467 --> 00:01:44,601
NARRATOR:
 It's time for another
 Good Idea, Bad Idea.

46
00:01:45,868 --> 00:01:47,334
 Good idea:

47
00:01:49,033 --> 00:01:50,534
 cleaning up litter.

48
00:01:53,767 --> 00:01:55,133
 Bad idea:

49
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,667
 cleaning up kitty litter.

50
00:02:03,367 --> 00:02:04,534
 The end.

51
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,534
 * Like Abbott and Costello
 Like Sonny and Cher *

52
00:02:09,534 --> 00:02:12,501
 * Like Martin and Lewis
 They're a perfect pair *

53
00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:15,501
 * Like Laurel and Hardy
 Like Fontanne and Lunt *

54
00:02:15,501 --> 00:02:18,133
 * They're perfectly mismatched
 They're Rita and Runt *

55
00:02:18,133 --> 00:02:19,234
[CRACK]

56
00:02:26,033 --> 00:02:28,033
[***]

57
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,567
[YELPS]

58
00:02:44,567 --> 00:02:47,167
 Sacre bleu.
Cheesy, mon dieu.

59
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,033
Put a little Blistex
on it, La Poot.

60
00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:53,667
Ho-ho-ho. He'd pitch a fit
if he saw you in here.

61
00:02:53,667 --> 00:02:55,067
But I don't care.

62
00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:57,300
I like company
for dinner.
Hoo.

63
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,901
Here's a little
sausage for you.

64
00:03:01,901 --> 00:03:05,434
Runt. You ever hear
the word "share"?

65
00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:06,434
Oh, sure, Rita.

66
00:03:06,434 --> 00:03:08,400
She's a pretty lady
with tattoos.

67
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,234
I won't even bother.

68
00:03:26,434 --> 00:03:27,434
Hey.

69
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:30,501
Wah!
[GROWLING]

70
00:03:32,234 --> 00:03:34,033
Let go, you big mongrel.

71
00:03:38,033 --> 00:03:39,434
Whoa!

72
00:03:41,467 --> 00:03:44,133
Be kind to animals,
everybody.

73
00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:47,300
They're reincarnated
relatives.

74
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,501
[SCREAMS]

75
00:03:59,300 --> 00:04:00,801
[GRUNTING]

76
00:04:04,367 --> 00:04:05,901
Runt. Gimme that.

77
00:04:05,901 --> 00:04:07,067
[GRUNTING]

78
00:04:10,534 --> 00:04:11,667
RITA:
So much for dinner.

79
00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:13,300
Get up, lazy
loafer boy.

80
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:14,434
They are
getting away.

81
00:04:19,367 --> 00:04:21,601
Alley cat.
Mongrel dog.

82
00:04:21,601 --> 00:04:23,767
I am pitching a fit
all over you.

83
00:04:37,334 --> 00:04:38,434
You blew it, Runt.

84
00:04:38,434 --> 00:04:41,701
We had a one-way meal ticket
to Feed-me-ville.

85
00:04:41,701 --> 00:04:44,734
And you threw it all away
for a lousy game of chew-tug.

86
00:04:50,734 --> 00:04:51,734
Uh-oh.

87
00:04:51,734 --> 00:04:53,734
Definitely
"uh-oh."

88
00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:03,234
[GASPS]

89
00:05:06,067 --> 00:05:07,567
[ALL MEOWING]

90
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:14,300
[BACK CRACKING]

91
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:19,834
Look. I had puppies.

92
00:05:24,634 --> 00:05:26,434
Puh!

93
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:27,934
They're not puppies.

94
00:05:27,934 --> 00:05:30,033
W-- what else
could I have?

95
00:05:30,033 --> 00:05:31,934
My head hurts.

96
00:05:31,934 --> 00:05:33,934
[KITTENS MEOWING]

97
00:05:36,734 --> 00:05:38,234
[PURRING]

98
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:44,000
Poor little things.

99
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,634
Abandoned, huh?

100
00:05:46,634 --> 00:05:48,267
Oh. Get used to it.

101
00:05:48,267 --> 00:05:50,100
KITTENS:
Mama.

102
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,100
* Milk, milk, milk, milk *

103
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:55,734
* Milk, please, Mama
'Scuse our 'tude *

104
00:05:55,734 --> 00:05:58,467
* But we're gonna faint
If we don't get food *

105
00:05:58,467 --> 00:06:01,400
* Milk, please, Mama
Mama, please *

106
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,133
Yup. You're a mama
with a family, Rita.

107
00:06:04,133 --> 00:06:06,734
Like Vicki Lawrence.
Definitely Vicki.

108
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,334
ALL:
Mama, Mama, Mama.

109
00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:10,934
Or Meredith Baxter
Birney.

110
00:06:10,934 --> 00:06:14,868
Definitely. Definitely
a mom like Meredith Baxter.

111
00:06:14,868 --> 00:06:16,968
I'm nobody's mama.

112
00:06:16,968 --> 00:06:18,767
Back off!

113
00:06:18,767 --> 00:06:20,033
Mama.

114
00:06:20,033 --> 00:06:23,167
You got the wrong cat.

115
00:06:27,334 --> 00:06:30,000
* I'm nobody's mama *

116
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,901
* Got no family *

117
00:06:32,901 --> 00:06:34,934
* I'm a career cat *

118
00:06:34,934 --> 00:06:37,801
* And my career
Is all about me *

119
00:06:39,434 --> 00:06:41,968
* No one can tie me down
I'm going places *

120
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,601
* Straighten up *

121
00:06:43,601 --> 00:06:45,934
* Don't make those silly
Sad faces *

122
00:06:45,934 --> 00:06:46,934
* It's rude *

123
00:06:46,934 --> 00:06:47,968
KITTENS:
* Mew? *

124
00:06:47,968 --> 00:06:51,200
* All right, I'll get food *

125
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,267
But that's it.

126
00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:54,267
After that,
you're on your own.

127
00:06:54,267 --> 00:06:57,767
* I'm too independent *

128
00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:00,234
* They're so small *

129
00:07:00,234 --> 00:07:02,200
* How could I care for them? *

130
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,234
* Do I care at all? *

131
00:07:05,234 --> 00:07:08,868
* I could never stand
"Help me, Mama. Feed me, Mama" *

132
00:07:08,868 --> 00:07:11,367
* "Need me, Mama
Don't leave me, Mama" *

133
00:07:11,367 --> 00:07:15,133
* I'd never tolerate that *

134
00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:16,133
* On the other hand *

135
00:07:16,133 --> 00:07:19,968
"Oh, my, Mama
I love you, Mama" *

136
00:07:19,968 --> 00:07:23,067
* "I will never
Leave you, Mama" *

137
00:07:24,234 --> 00:07:25,868
* No *

138
00:07:25,868 --> 00:07:28,701
* You've got the wrong cat *

139
00:07:28,701 --> 00:07:31,100
* And did I mention *

140
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,901
* They'll want
Too much attention? *

141
00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:36,868
* I'll worry about 'em each day
Every minute *

142
00:07:36,868 --> 00:07:39,067
* I gotta tell you
My head isn't in it *

143
00:07:39,067 --> 00:07:41,801
* I won't let my heart talk *

144
00:07:41,801 --> 00:07:44,601
* 'Cause it's ruled
By my biological clock *

145
00:07:44,601 --> 00:07:46,868
* Which is ticking away *

146
00:07:46,868 --> 00:07:49,467
* No way *

147
00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:52,701
* I mean what I say *

148
00:07:52,701 --> 00:07:56,701
* I'm a single cat stray *

149
00:07:56,701 --> 00:08:01,934
* I'm nobody's mama *

150
00:08:06,567 --> 00:08:10,534
That is that.
Au revoir, kitty cat.

151
00:08:10,534 --> 00:08:12,501
Ehh!

152
00:08:12,501 --> 00:08:13,734
[GIGGLES]

153
00:08:15,801 --> 00:08:17,801
[SNORING]

154
00:08:23,934 --> 00:08:25,167
[GROWLING]

155
00:08:25,167 --> 00:08:26,300
Oh.

156
00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:35,701
[ALL SNIFFING]

157
00:08:35,701 --> 00:08:37,868
[WHINING]

158
00:08:37,868 --> 00:08:39,868
Eat it, or I'll drop
your sweet little tushies

159
00:08:39,868 --> 00:08:40,968
in the pound.

160
00:08:40,968 --> 00:08:41,968
Roseanne.

161
00:08:41,968 --> 00:08:43,834
Definitely a mom
like Roseanne.

162
00:08:43,834 --> 00:08:46,167
[KITTENS MEOWING]

163
00:08:46,167 --> 00:08:48,067
Oh, I love calicos.

164
00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:50,200
Little rainbows.

165
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,701
Huh? Rita?

166
00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:56,367
Psst.

167
00:08:59,868 --> 00:09:01,634
What about
the puppies, Rita?

168
00:09:01,634 --> 00:09:03,868
Now they're hers.
What?

169
00:09:03,868 --> 00:09:06,100
Oh. I see.

170
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:08,367
Where'd my friends go?

171
00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:09,901
Oh. I get it.

172
00:09:09,901 --> 00:09:10,901
They don't know you,

173
00:09:10,901 --> 00:09:12,667
you don't know them.

174
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:15,334
I'll take you to
a mama cat downtown

175
00:09:15,334 --> 00:09:17,667
with oodles of milk.

176
00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:19,133
Ah, who am I kidding?

177
00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:21,367
It's me.

178
00:09:21,367 --> 00:09:23,367
[MEWING]

179
00:09:24,701 --> 00:09:25,701
Bye, bye-bye.

180
00:09:25,701 --> 00:09:27,334
Bye.

181
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,534
[SADLY]
Bye.

182
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:29,968
[SOBBING]

183
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:35,868
Bye.

184
00:09:39,467 --> 00:09:40,467
[SNIFF]

185
00:09:40,467 --> 00:09:42,167
It's, uh...

186
00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,033
starting to rain.

187
00:09:53,133 --> 00:09:54,434
You gotta admit it,
Rita,

188
00:09:54,434 --> 00:09:56,067
those were
cute puppies.

189
00:09:56,067 --> 00:09:57,834
I hate to break it
to you, Runt,

190
00:09:57,834 --> 00:09:59,501
but they're cats.

191
00:09:59,501 --> 00:10:01,067
RUNT:
Cats? Where?

192
00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,934
Where are the cats?
Why, I'll chase 'em.

193
00:10:02,934 --> 00:10:05,234
I'll nip 'em. I'll munch 'em.
I'll tear 'em apart.

194
00:10:05,234 --> 00:10:06,234
[GROWLING]

195
00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:09,567
Dogs.

196
00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:10,901
[GROWLING]

197
00:10:16,567 --> 00:10:20,367
NARRATOR:
 And now Dot's Poetry Corner.

198
00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:21,834
[CLEARS THROAT]

199
00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,334
"This Little Piggy"

200
00:10:24,334 --> 00:10:26,167
This little piggy
Went to market

201
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,968
This little piggy stayed home

202
00:10:27,968 --> 00:10:30,334
This little piggy
Got her own prime-time sitcom

203
00:10:30,334 --> 00:10:31,634
And it really kills me

204
00:10:31,634 --> 00:10:33,534
'Cause I'm so much more
Talented than she is.

205
00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:35,334
Thank you.

206
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:38,467
NARRATOR:
 This has been another visit
 to Dot's Poetry Corner.

207
00:10:40,767 --> 00:10:42,067
 And now the Warner brothers

208
00:10:42,067 --> 00:10:44,601
 in a scene from
 Shakespeare's Hamlet.

209
00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:47,434
 Translated for those viewers
 who, like Yakko,

210
00:10:47,434 --> 00:10:50,400
 have no idea
 what he's talking about.

211
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,868
[GIGGLES]

212
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:59,167
Alas, poor Yorick!

213
00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:01,400
Whoa, check out
skull head.

214
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,534
I knew him, Horatio,
a fellow of infinite jest,

215
00:11:04,534 --> 00:11:06,701
of most excellent fancy.

216
00:11:06,701 --> 00:11:08,000
He was funny.

217
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,400
He hath bore me on his back
a thousand times.

218
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,200
He gave me
piggyback rides.

219
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,734
And now how abhorred
in my imagination it is!

220
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:19,067
My gorge rises at it.

221
00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:21,868
I'm going to
blow chunks.

222
00:11:21,868 --> 00:11:22,934
Gah!

223
00:11:30,534 --> 00:11:31,634
Here hung those lips

224
00:11:31,634 --> 00:11:34,801
that I have kissed
I know not how oft.

225
00:11:34,801 --> 00:11:37,334
We kissed
a lot. Not.

226
00:11:37,334 --> 00:11:38,968
Where be your gibes now?

227
00:11:38,968 --> 00:11:41,067
Your gambols, your songs,

228
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,501
your flashes of merriment

229
00:11:42,501 --> 00:11:45,367
that were wont to set
the table on a roar?

230
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:47,534
How come you're
not funny now?

231
00:11:47,534 --> 00:11:49,534
Not one now to mock
your own grinning?

232
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,300
Quite chapfall'n?

233
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,267
No one's laughing now.
And, by the way,

234
00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:55,634
your lower jaw
is missing.

235
00:11:57,367 --> 00:11:58,901
[SCREAMS]

236
00:12:04,067 --> 00:12:06,067
Now get you to
my lady's chamber.

237
00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:08,434
And tell her,
let her paint an inch thick,

238
00:12:08,434 --> 00:12:10,434
to this favor she must come.

239
00:12:10,434 --> 00:12:12,133
Make her laugh at that.

240
00:12:12,133 --> 00:12:13,434
Follow that woman
and tell her

241
00:12:13,434 --> 00:12:15,767
no matter how much
makeup she wears,

242
00:12:15,767 --> 00:12:16,767
she's still gonna croak

243
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:18,167
and end up looking
just like you.

244
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:19,701
And see if
she laughs.

245
00:12:19,701 --> 00:12:23,534
Prithee, Horatio,
tell me one thing.

246
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,167
What did you find
in the hole?

247
00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:27,601
Our next cartoon.

248
00:12:36,634 --> 00:12:38,634
[PIANO PLAYING]

249
00:13:39,834 --> 00:13:41,934
[CLAPPING]

250
00:13:41,934 --> 00:13:44,667
[WITH LIVERPOOL ACCENT]
I taught 'em everything I know.

251
00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:46,334
Huh?

252
00:13:46,334 --> 00:13:48,000
Hey.

253
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:50,801
Come back.

254
00:14:08,467 --> 00:14:10,834
I lose more gloves
that way.

255
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:27,634
[APPLAUDING]

256
00:14:40,834 --> 00:14:42,467
[BIG BAND
MUSIC PLAYING]

257
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,434
[APPLAUSE]

258
00:16:13,734 --> 00:16:15,234
[SHIVERING]

259
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:34,567
[TRAIN WHISTLES]

260
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,300
[ROOSTER CROWS]

261
00:17:26,234 --> 00:17:28,734
[WHISTLE
BLOWING]

262
00:17:45,734 --> 00:17:47,367
[RIPPING]

263
00:18:34,701 --> 00:18:36,701
[PIANO PLAYING]

264
00:19:00,067 --> 00:19:01,067
Ah!

265
00:19:13,801 --> 00:19:16,400
Tomorrow I'll play
the xylophone...

266
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,267
with my butt.

267
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:25,901
NARRATOR:
 It's time for another
 Good Idea, Bad Idea.

268
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,734
 Good idea:

269
00:19:30,067 --> 00:19:33,300
 playing the accordion
 at a polka festival.

270
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,767
 Bad idea:

271
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,834
 playing the accordion
 anywhere else.

272
00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:42,667
[ALL YELLING]

273
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:47,501
 The end.

274
00:19:52,501 --> 00:19:53,667
It's that time
again.

275
00:19:53,667 --> 00:19:55,167
To pretend to throw up?

276
00:19:55,167 --> 00:19:56,167
To floss?

277
00:19:56,167 --> 00:19:57,767
No. It's time to learn

278
00:19:57,767 --> 00:19:58,767
the day's lesson.

279
00:19:58,767 --> 00:20:00,100
And to find out
what it is,

280
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:02,901
we turn to
the Wheel of Morality.

281
00:20:04,467 --> 00:20:06,267
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.

282
00:20:06,267 --> 00:20:08,067
Tell us the lesson
that we should learn.

283
00:20:08,067 --> 00:20:10,000
Moral number five.

284
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,767
And the moral
of today's story is:

285
00:20:12,767 --> 00:20:14,834
 Early to rise
 And early to bed

286
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:16,934
 Makes a man healthy
 But socially dead

287
00:20:16,934 --> 00:20:19,367
Whoa. The mind boggles.

288
00:20:19,367 --> 00:20:21,200
I don't know about you,
but I'm touched.

289
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:22,200
In the head.

290
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,767
[WHISTLE
BLOWS]

291
00:20:23,767 --> 00:20:25,033
ALL:
Yikes!

292
00:20:32,467 --> 00:20:34,667
[***]

293
00:21:02,334 --> 00:21:04,667
I can't think of the ending
of this show.

294
00:21:04,667 --> 00:21:06,167
I can't think
of anything else.