1
00:00:04,501 --> 00:00:06,267
[***]

2
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:09,934
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *

3
00:00:09,934 --> 00:00:12,601
* And we're zany to the max *

4
00:00:12,601 --> 00:00:14,334
* So just sit back and relax *

5
00:00:14,334 --> 00:00:16,000
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *

6
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,434
* We're Animaniacs *

7
00:00:18,434 --> 00:00:20,234
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *

8
00:00:20,234 --> 00:00:21,868
* And the Warner sister, Dot *

9
00:00:21,868 --> 00:00:24,868
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *

10
00:00:24,868 --> 00:00:27,534
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *

11
00:00:27,534 --> 00:00:29,234
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *

12
00:00:29,234 --> 00:00:30,434
* And now you know the plot *

13
00:00:30,434 --> 00:00:32,968
* We're Animaniacs *

14
00:00:32,968 --> 00:00:35,934
 * Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

15
00:00:35,934 --> 00:00:37,267
 * Wakko packs away the snacks *

16
00:00:37,267 --> 00:00:38,968
 * While Bill Clinton
 Plays the sax *

17
00:00:38,968 --> 00:00:41,033
* We're Animaniacs *

18
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:43,367
 * Meet Pinky and the Brain *

19
00:00:43,367 --> 00:00:44,868
 * Who want to rule
 The universe *

20
00:00:44,868 --> 00:00:46,234
 * Goodfeathers flock together *

21
00:00:46,234 --> 00:00:47,767
 * Slappy whacks 'em
 With her purse *

22
00:00:47,767 --> 00:00:49,067
 * Buttons chases Mindy *

23
00:00:49,067 --> 00:00:50,634
 * While Rita sings a verse *

24
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,400
* The writers flipped
We have no script *

25
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:53,567
* Why bother to rehearse? *

26
00:00:53,567 --> 00:00:56,334
* We're Animaniacs *

27
00:00:56,334 --> 00:00:59,167
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *

28
00:00:59,167 --> 00:01:00,567
* We're zany to the max *

29
00:01:00,567 --> 00:01:02,234
* There's bologna
In our slacks *

30
00:01:02,234 --> 00:01:03,801
* We're Animan-y *

31
00:01:03,801 --> 00:01:05,234
* Totally insane-y *

32
00:01:05,234 --> 00:01:06,701
Eisenhower, Mamie.

33
00:01:06,701 --> 00:01:08,901
* Animaniacs *

34
00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:10,367
* Those are the facts *

35
00:01:18,601 --> 00:01:20,667
[EXPLOSIONS]

36
00:01:24,434 --> 00:01:26,400
SQUIT:
 As far back as I can remember,

37
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,300
 I always wanted to be a hero.

38
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:31,200
 If you became a hero,
 then cute-looking sparrows

39
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,868
 would flock around you
 and play kissy-fowl.

40
00:01:33,868 --> 00:01:36,267
 Bobby and Pesto
 loved that part.

41
00:01:36,267 --> 00:01:37,701
 So when the war started,

42
00:01:37,701 --> 00:01:40,501
 the Goodfeathers
 signed up as messenger pigeons.

43
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,968
 At first, there didn't seem
 to be much to it.

44
00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:45,901
[YAWNS]
I wish we'd see
some action.

45
00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:47,367
I'm tired of being
cooped up.

46
00:01:47,367 --> 00:01:49,467
I'm with you.
MAN 1: Situation is critical.

47
00:01:49,467 --> 00:01:51,067
MAN 2:
Enemy pressure is increasing.

48
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:53,234
Lanford took my helmet, sir.
Make him give it back.

49
00:01:53,234 --> 00:01:55,934
[ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY]

50
00:01:55,934 --> 00:01:57,567
Bada-bing,
what are they sayin'?

51
00:01:57,567 --> 00:01:59,400
Do I look like I know
what they're sayin'?

52
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,234
I'm just askin'
what they're sayin'.

53
00:02:01,234 --> 00:02:03,200
How am I supposed to know
what they're sayin'?

54
00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,934
Am I fluent in Human?
Do I have mystic powers?

55
00:02:05,934 --> 00:02:08,434
Am I a swami, able to pluck
their very words from the air

56
00:02:08,434 --> 00:02:10,334
and present them to you
as a gift?

57
00:02:10,334 --> 00:02:12,634
Listen, you fat fowl.
I'll whack your wings off

58
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:14,634
and make you the smallest
ostrich on the planet.

59
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,934
They're sayin' somethin'.
What are they sayin'?

60
00:02:16,934 --> 00:02:18,734
SQUIT:
Hey, Bobby, Pesto. Coo it.

61
00:02:18,734 --> 00:02:19,868
Something's up.

62
00:02:19,868 --> 00:02:21,434
[BREATHING HEAVILY]

63
00:02:21,434 --> 00:02:22,834
General Storr, sir,

64
00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:24,968
the Ninth Brigade
is cut off behind enemy lines.

65
00:02:24,968 --> 00:02:26,167
They must retreat at once,

66
00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:27,901
or they'll be forced
to surrender.

67
00:02:27,901 --> 00:02:31,234
Very well. Just don't get
any dirt on my map.

68
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:34,033
I'll order the Ninth Brigade
to retreat immediately.

69
00:02:34,033 --> 00:02:36,467
Bring me
the last messenger pigeons.

70
00:02:37,601 --> 00:02:38,601
This is it.

71
00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:39,901
Goin' into action.

72
00:02:39,901 --> 00:02:41,467
Mama Celeste!

73
00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:45,300
ALL:
Whoa!

74
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:50,601
GENERAL STORR:
Pigeons are so dirty.

75
00:02:50,601 --> 00:02:52,200
Why don't we have
messenger cats?

76
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,467
They're much cleaner animals.

77
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:57,100
Don't Squit's new jewelry
look adorable?

78
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:58,567
[LAUGHS]

79
00:02:58,567 --> 00:02:59,567
[SNICKERS]

80
00:02:59,567 --> 00:03:01,334
He's a regular Mia Sparrow.

81
00:03:01,334 --> 00:03:03,934
[BOTH LAUGH]

82
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:05,634
[WHISTLES]
To the front.

83
00:03:05,634 --> 00:03:06,667
BOBBY:
Follow me.

84
00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:08,334
PESTO:
What do ya mean, you? Follow me.

85
00:03:08,334 --> 00:03:09,634
BOBBY:
I don't follow nobody.

86
00:03:09,634 --> 00:03:11,467
PESTO:
Oh, yeah?
Watch my tail feathers.

87
00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:13,667
Let's look
into messenger cats.

88
00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:16,000
[***]

89
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,834
Ah, this hero stuff is nothin'.

90
00:03:17,834 --> 00:03:19,968
A perch in the park,
know what I'm sayin'?

91
00:03:19,968 --> 00:03:21,367
You're right,
Bobby.

92
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,667
Any of those miserable,
egg-suckin' enemies show up,

93
00:03:23,667 --> 00:03:25,334
I'll whack 'em
into another time zone.

94
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,567
I mean it.

95
00:03:31,567 --> 00:03:34,467
I'll really whack 'em.

96
00:03:34,467 --> 00:03:35,968
[ALL SCREAM]

97
00:03:45,801 --> 00:03:47,601
[ALL SCREAM]

98
00:03:56,067 --> 00:03:59,033
Topo Gigio, look at this
miserable place here.

99
00:04:11,267 --> 00:04:13,534
Some heroes
we turned out to be.

100
00:04:13,534 --> 00:04:15,200
Are you calling me a hero?

101
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,267
I was just sayin'
that we're supposed to deliver

102
00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:19,400
this message and be heroes,
ya know?

103
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,534
No, I don't know. You tell me.
Are you sayin' I'm a hero?

104
00:04:22,534 --> 00:04:24,367
That I'm some kind of
large sandwich

105
00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:26,000
filled with lunchmeat
and lettuce

106
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,400
sent here to nourish you?

107
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,501
Nah, Pesto, I just meant
we're not the heroes

108
00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:31,067
we thought we'd be.

109
00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:32,100
That's it!

110
00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:33,234
Come here!

111
00:04:33,234 --> 00:04:34,934
SQUIT:
Come on! Hey! That's my beak.

112
00:04:34,934 --> 00:04:36,467
PESTO:
You dirty little squab.

113
00:04:36,467 --> 00:04:38,434
You sack-jawed pelican.

114
00:04:38,434 --> 00:04:39,901
Forget about it.

115
00:04:39,901 --> 00:04:42,300
We got enough troubles here
with the message to deliver,

116
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,868
and all that miserable flak
coverin' the sky up there.

117
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,701
Bobby's right. Let's stay
on the ground for a while.

118
00:04:47,701 --> 00:04:49,267
It's safer down here.

119
00:04:52,567 --> 00:04:55,100
Oh, Pesto,
what's that sign say?

120
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:57,033
How do I know
what it says?

121
00:04:57,033 --> 00:04:58,467
Am I a dictionary?

122
00:04:58,467 --> 00:05:01,067
Is the word "thesaurus"
printed on me?

123
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,567
Am I some sort of vast,
living pool of knowledge

124
00:05:03,567 --> 00:05:05,734
here for the sole purpose
of enlightening you?

125
00:05:05,734 --> 00:05:08,467
I just asked, what's it say?

126
00:05:08,467 --> 00:05:10,167
What's the matter with you,
Pesto?

127
00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:11,167
[COOS]

128
00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:17,667
It says,
"Thanks for droppin' in.

129
00:05:17,667 --> 00:05:19,901
Hope ya had a blast."

130
00:05:19,901 --> 00:05:21,734
[AIRPLANE ENGINES WHIRRING]

131
00:05:23,767 --> 00:05:26,934
Over there! We'll hide
in that stinkin' hole.

132
00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:28,200
[ARTILLERY WHISTLING]

133
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,701
[ALL SCREAMING]

134
00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:41,567
Relax. You never hear
the one that gets ya.

135
00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:47,000
ALL:
Aagh!

136
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,701
[ALL GROAN]

137
00:05:49,934 --> 00:05:52,000
So, what else can happen?

138
00:05:52,968 --> 00:05:54,868
[ALL SCREAMING]

139
00:05:58,334 --> 00:05:59,701
"What else can happen?"

140
00:05:59,701 --> 00:06:02,334
You had to say that you goofy,
bug-suckin' bat.

141
00:06:02,334 --> 00:06:04,000
Ragú!
You gabby little hatchling.

142
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,667
Oh, come on!
Oh, cut it out!

143
00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:07,701
Not the beak again!
Oh, come on!

144
00:06:09,033 --> 00:06:10,734
Give it some wing,
Squit.

145
00:06:10,734 --> 00:06:14,734
That message ain't gettin' any
fresher, know what I'm sayin'?

146
00:06:14,734 --> 00:06:16,601
It ain't gettin' any lighter,
either.

147
00:06:22,667 --> 00:06:26,000
Mario Lanza!
We got company back here.

148
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,968
[BREATHING HEAVILY]

149
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:55,501
BOBBY:
Well, Squit's run outta tricks.
We gotta do somethin' fast here.

150
00:07:02,234 --> 00:07:03,434
Decrescendo!

151
00:07:03,434 --> 00:07:04,868
Anything hits this balloon,

152
00:07:04,868 --> 00:07:06,934
we're gonna be
Kentucky Fried Pigeons.

153
00:07:06,934 --> 00:07:09,234
Yeah. They blow up easier
than you.

154
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,400
 * Ahhhh *

155
00:07:15,434 --> 00:07:16,801
Aha.

156
00:07:16,801 --> 00:07:18,801
[***]

157
00:07:27,701 --> 00:07:29,067
Are you sure
this is gonna work?

158
00:07:29,067 --> 00:07:30,434
How do you know
it's gonna work?

159
00:07:30,434 --> 00:07:32,367
Listen,
you banana-faced toucan,

160
00:07:32,367 --> 00:07:35,634
you've been in a particularly
bad mood this entire episode.

161
00:07:35,634 --> 00:07:37,434
Now, get Squit.

162
00:07:42,234 --> 00:07:44,234
Ow, Mona Lisa!

163
00:07:45,968 --> 00:07:47,133
Follow me.

164
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,801
Where
are we going?

165
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:50,467
Toward the sun.

166
00:07:50,467 --> 00:07:53,200
It's in outer space.
We'll never make it.

167
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:57,067
[***]

168
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,033
What a great idea.

169
00:08:26,033 --> 00:08:27,934
Which wise guy
thought that up?

170
00:08:27,934 --> 00:08:30,334
That was me.
I must be part owl.

171
00:08:30,334 --> 00:08:32,400
Hey, Bobby don't get ideas
too often,

172
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,000
but when he does
they're regular cappuccinos.

173
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:42,300
Brilliant attack,
General Storr.

174
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:43,701
Thank you,
General Admission.

175
00:08:43,701 --> 00:08:45,634
I was able to sweep the enemy
from the field,

176
00:08:45,634 --> 00:08:46,701
dust his flanks,

177
00:08:46,701 --> 00:08:48,634
and wash and wax
his rear echelons.

178
00:08:48,634 --> 00:08:50,167
But I never would have
had to attack

179
00:08:50,167 --> 00:08:52,968
if you hadn't ignored
my message to retreat.

180
00:08:52,968 --> 00:08:54,834
Why did you ignore
my message?

181
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,634
What message?

182
00:09:03,367 --> 00:09:06,000
Why, I guess you mean
this message.

183
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,567
[BOTH LAUGH]

184
00:09:08,801 --> 00:09:10,701
GENERAL STORR:
Oh, jolly good.

185
00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:14,133
SQUIT:
 Yeah, they sure were happy
 to get our message.

186
00:09:14,133 --> 00:09:16,367
 And so we were heroes.

187
00:09:16,367 --> 00:09:18,667
 We couldn't wait to get back
 to the States, though,

188
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:20,334
 'cause we wanted everybody
 to know

189
00:09:20,334 --> 00:09:22,234
 what bigtime heroes we were.

190
00:09:22,234 --> 00:09:24,667
Too bad we didn't get
any medals.

191
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:26,167
But I guess they just
don't have any

192
00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:28,167
big enough for us Goodfeathers.

193
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:30,267
"Big?"
What do you mean by "big"?

194
00:09:30,267 --> 00:09:32,067
Are you tryin' to say I'm fat?

195
00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:35,434
Some kind of roly-poly chicken
leg for your matzo ball soup?

196
00:09:35,434 --> 00:09:38,567
A chunk of fat meant to up
your cholesterol level?

197
00:09:38,567 --> 00:09:41,367
Oh, no. I just meant that we're,
like, big shots, ya know?

198
00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:42,801
Heavy hitters.

199
00:09:42,801 --> 00:09:45,467
Ah, now I'm a heavy hitter.

200
00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:47,334
I'll give ya a heavy hit
in the head.

201
00:09:47,334 --> 00:09:48,934
Here. Take that.
I'll give you "big."

202
00:09:48,934 --> 00:09:51,100
SQUIT: Oh, come on!
PESTO: I'll give you Tom Hanks

203
00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:53,000
upside the head, that's what!
[LAUGHS]

204
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,400
PESTO:
Hey, mostaccioli!
Come here. Here!

205
00:10:05,133 --> 00:10:07,133
[***]

206
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:13,868
SERGEANT:
Left, left, left, right, left.

207
00:10:13,868 --> 00:10:15,968
* Recruits smell
And that's no lie *

208
00:10:15,968 --> 00:10:18,267
* Hate your guts
Gonna make you cry *

209
00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:20,501
* Call me smart
Call me inspired *

210
00:10:20,501 --> 00:10:22,834
* You're gonna march
Till I get tired *

211
00:10:22,834 --> 00:10:25,267
I love my job.

212
00:10:25,267 --> 00:10:27,767
Hey, sarge.
The new recruits are here.

213
00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:29,033
Fresh meat.

214
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:30,033
[CHUCKLES]

215
00:10:30,601 --> 00:10:31,601
Oof!

216
00:10:43,734 --> 00:10:45,167
YAKKO:
Excuse us. pardon us.

217
00:10:45,167 --> 00:10:48,667
Coming through.
Ah, summer camp at last.

218
00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:50,968
Eight weeks of fun, fun, fun.

219
00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:52,968
Swimming and canoe racing.

220
00:10:52,968 --> 00:10:54,868
Mosquitoes and bear attacks.

221
00:10:54,868 --> 00:10:56,467
And not just any old camp...

222
00:10:56,467 --> 00:10:58,467
boot camp.

223
00:10:58,467 --> 00:10:59,734
[SIGHS]

224
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:02,968
Like Imelda Marcos,
I've always adored boots.

225
00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:05,834
Hello, nurse.

226
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,534
Hi, Mr. Camp Counselor.

227
00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:10,300
I'd like size three
EEE boots

228
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:12,667
with fringe and little pink bows
on the toes, please.

229
00:11:12,667 --> 00:11:14,033
Get back in line, soldier.

230
00:11:14,033 --> 00:11:15,033
[SNIFFS]

231
00:11:15,033 --> 00:11:16,901
Ew, who's P-yew?

232
00:11:17,601 --> 00:11:18,601
[GIGGLES]

233
00:11:18,601 --> 00:11:20,000
Psst! Down here.

234
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,634
Say, is there a girls' camp
across the lake?

235
00:11:22,634 --> 00:11:25,667
You know...
Hello, nurse.

236
00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:26,701
Fall in!

237
00:11:28,234 --> 00:11:29,467
Get up!

238
00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:30,767
Now, fall in!

239
00:11:30,767 --> 00:11:32,801
Get up and fall in!

240
00:11:32,801 --> 00:11:34,367
Is this part
of our camp initiation?

241
00:11:34,367 --> 00:11:36,400
Frankly, we'd prefer
the spanking machine.

242
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,701
Get up and get in line!

243
00:11:38,701 --> 00:11:41,133
Well, why didn't you say that
in the first place?

244
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:42,400
Who do you think you are?

245
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:45,334
We think, therefore we are
the Warner brothers.

246
00:11:45,334 --> 00:11:47,701
And the Warner sister.

247
00:11:47,701 --> 00:11:49,400
WAKKO:
Glad to make my acquaintance.

248
00:11:50,434 --> 00:11:51,567
[GRUNTS]

249
00:11:51,567 --> 00:11:53,901
Give me that back,
you little Gila monster.

250
00:11:53,901 --> 00:11:55,534
All of it, Wakko.

251
00:12:02,234 --> 00:12:03,234
[GASPS]

252
00:12:03,234 --> 00:12:04,234
[CHUCKLES]

253
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,000
[GIGGLES]

254
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,567
Excuse me, Mr. Camp Counselor,

255
00:12:08,567 --> 00:12:10,868
but, uh, when do we get to sing
"Kumbaya"?

256
00:12:10,868 --> 00:12:13,000
I am not
a camp counselor.

257
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,133
I am
your drill instructor.

258
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:17,100
This is the Army, soldier!

259
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:18,167
The Army?

260
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:19,501
Well, it's been fun.
Gotta go.

261
00:12:19,501 --> 00:12:21,067
Buh-bye.

262
00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:22,100
Get back here.

263
00:12:25,033 --> 00:12:26,934
From now on,
this Army will be your home.

264
00:12:26,934 --> 00:12:29,200
I will be your mother, father,
aunt and uncle.

265
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,467
ALL:
A family!

266
00:12:31,467 --> 00:12:33,567
Mwah, mwah, mwah!

267
00:12:33,567 --> 00:12:36,567
Stop that, you-- You-- You--

268
00:12:36,567 --> 00:12:37,868
What are you, anyway?

269
00:12:37,868 --> 00:12:40,501
Infested with fleas.

270
00:12:42,701 --> 00:12:44,701
[***]

271
00:12:58,767 --> 00:13:00,334
Oh, take off your hat.

272
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,334
Oh, that one too.

273
00:13:02,334 --> 00:13:03,701
Uh, that one too.

274
00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:05,534
Ooh.

275
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:06,834
Hm.

276
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:08,000
[GROWLS]

277
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,601
Hat's all, folks.

278
00:13:09,601 --> 00:13:11,634
Behave yourself
or I'll get real mad.

279
00:13:11,634 --> 00:13:13,634
Oh, yes I will, real mad.

280
00:13:25,534 --> 00:13:27,667
[STAMMERING]
Ooh, ah, oh.

281
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,868
[CHUCKLES]

282
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:40,901
And I thought Opie was naughty.

283
00:13:47,234 --> 00:13:49,767
WAKKO:
I don't want to be
in the Army, Yakko.

284
00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:52,868
What are we gonna do?

285
00:13:52,868 --> 00:13:55,133
I'm leaning heavily
toward fleeing.

286
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:58,901
To the left,
right, left.

287
00:13:58,901 --> 00:14:02,534
Your left. To the left.
To the left, right, left.

288
00:14:02,534 --> 00:14:04,701
* I don't know
But I've been told *

289
00:14:04,701 --> 00:14:06,834
* Army life is mighty bold *

290
00:14:06,834 --> 00:14:08,667
* Every night before retreat-- *

291
00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:10,634
* We order out
For luncheon meat *

292
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,234
[BREATHING HEAVILY]

293
00:14:14,234 --> 00:14:17,367
Platoon, get back
to the barracks.

294
00:14:18,601 --> 00:14:20,767
As for you three,
I've had it.

295
00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:22,968
Good. Does that mean
we can leave?

296
00:14:22,968 --> 00:14:25,667
No, Private Cute Boots.

297
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:28,501
From now on, I'm training you
to become agents

298
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,133
of total destruction.

299
00:14:30,133 --> 00:14:33,634
But we don't want to be mailmen.
We'd rather work for a living.

300
00:14:47,501 --> 00:14:48,968
Detail, halt.

301
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:53,334
A foxhole
is a soldier's best friend.

302
00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:55,100
Must be hard
to go to the movies together.

303
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:56,300
Dig!

304
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:00,067
Huh?

305
00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:05,067
ALL:
We'd move if we were you.

306
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,300
[SCREAMS]

307
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,467
Did we dig it deep enough?

308
00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:12,801
[THUMP]

309
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:20,234
SWEETE:
This is the grenade range.

310
00:15:20,234 --> 00:15:26,133
You will learn all about
the standard M26-A1-F472918-A

311
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,033
fragmentation device.

312
00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:29,934
Just pull the pin and throw.

313
00:15:37,634 --> 00:15:39,267
Throw the grenade!

314
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:41,968
You said
throw the pin.

315
00:15:41,968 --> 00:15:45,000
I meant pull the pin
and throw the grenade!

316
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,901
I'm all confused.
You do it.

317
00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:54,434
[GROANS]

318
00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:56,434
[***]

319
00:16:01,934 --> 00:16:04,067
SWEETE:
Normally,
parachuting is reserved

320
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:06,667
for well-trained, elite troops.

321
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:09,567
But in your case,
I'm gonna make an exception.

322
00:16:09,567 --> 00:16:11,000
[CHUCKLES]

323
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,734
SWEETE:
Geronimo!

324
00:16:14,701 --> 00:16:16,801
ALL:
Sitting Bull!

325
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:21,667
By the way, we took your dirty
sheets to the laundry.

326
00:16:21,667 --> 00:16:23,067
What dirty sheets?

327
00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,734
The ones you stuffed
in your knapsack.

328
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:25,834
Huh?

329
00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:28,367
Aaah!

330
00:16:28,367 --> 00:16:29,367
Ohhh!

331
00:16:30,701 --> 00:16:32,334
No starch, right?

332
00:16:32,334 --> 00:16:33,934
[SCREAMS]

333
00:16:38,901 --> 00:16:41,634
Don't worry, kids.
It's almost over.

334
00:16:44,434 --> 00:16:47,367
Come on, guys.
Let's go camping.

335
00:16:47,367 --> 00:16:51,868
Build a campfire, make s'mores,
sing songs. Come on.

336
00:16:51,868 --> 00:16:53,234
ALL:
* Do your ears hang low? *

337
00:16:53,234 --> 00:16:54,901
* Do they wobble to and fro? *

338
00:16:54,901 --> 00:16:57,133
* Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow? *

339
00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:58,834
* Can you throw 'em
Over your shoulder *

340
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:00,234
* Like a Continental soldier? *

341
00:17:00,234 --> 00:17:02,167
* Do your ears hang low? *

342
00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:04,467
Camp is okay,

343
00:17:04,467 --> 00:17:06,868
but these pink boots
are killing me.

344
00:17:09,734 --> 00:17:11,734
[***]

345
00:17:13,868 --> 00:17:16,901
 * Chicken Boo
 What's the matter with you? *

346
00:17:16,901 --> 00:17:21,534
 * You don't act
 Like the other chickens do *

347
00:17:21,534 --> 00:17:24,033
 * You wear a disguise
 To look like human guys *

348
00:17:24,033 --> 00:17:27,334
 * But you're not a man
 You're a chicken, Boo *

349
00:17:37,634 --> 00:17:39,634
[***]

350
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:53,334
I'm so hungry I could eat
the hind shank of a porcupine.

351
00:17:53,334 --> 00:17:57,734
I could eat a whole porcupine,
plus the front shank of a skunk.

352
00:17:57,734 --> 00:18:00,434
I could eat me a whole
porcupine, a whole skunk,

353
00:18:00,434 --> 00:18:02,934
a weasel's giblets,
and the horse you rode in on.

354
00:18:02,934 --> 00:18:04,634
[HORSE SNORTS]
[GASPS]

355
00:18:04,634 --> 00:18:06,801
SOLDIER:
It's Lieutenant Colonel Sanders.

356
00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:09,567
At ease, men.

357
00:18:09,567 --> 00:18:11,133
I got news.

358
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,801
Y'all heard
of General Boo-Regard?

359
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,734
Only that he's the greatest
soldier ever lived.

360
00:18:16,734 --> 00:18:19,367
Well, he's coming to lead us
to victory at Appomattox.

361
00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:20,534
[HORSE WHINNIES]

362
00:18:22,567 --> 00:18:23,667
[GASPS]

363
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,567
It's General Boo-Regard.

364
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:27,300
Attention!

365
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:29,300
[***]

366
00:18:34,934 --> 00:18:38,067
Lieutenant Colonel Sanders
at your service, general.

367
00:18:41,234 --> 00:18:43,534
General Boo-Regard,
we done hear tell

368
00:18:43,534 --> 00:18:45,934
you whupped General Grant
at Shiloh.

369
00:18:45,934 --> 00:18:49,167
We done hear tell you beat
General Sherman in Atlanta.

370
00:18:49,167 --> 00:18:50,901
I done hear tell
you're a chicken.

371
00:18:50,901 --> 00:18:52,200
[BOTH GASP]

372
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,567
You yellow-bellied--

373
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:57,067
Two-bit, Yankee-loving--

374
00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:59,067
--cotton-brained boll weevil.

375
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:00,100
[CHUCKLES]

376
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,100
Uh, he didn't mean that, sir.

377
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:06,100
He's just hungry,
and hungry men say crazy things.

378
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,601
Ain't not so too
'cause I'm hungry.

379
00:19:08,601 --> 00:19:10,167
He's a chicken, I tell ya...

380
00:19:11,501 --> 00:19:14,067
The South will rise again.

381
00:19:14,067 --> 00:19:16,934
Three cheers
for General Boo-Regard.

382
00:19:16,934 --> 00:19:18,767
Hip, hip, hooray!

383
00:19:18,767 --> 00:19:22,634
ALL:
Hip, hip, hooray!
Hip, hip, hooray!

384
00:19:26,601 --> 00:19:29,067
Their commanding general
is Boo-Regard.

385
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:30,801
They call him
the scourge of the South.

386
00:19:30,801 --> 00:19:32,067
He don't take prisoners.

387
00:19:32,067 --> 00:19:33,234
We're done for.

388
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:42,534
[WHINNIES]

389
00:19:42,534 --> 00:19:43,934
[CLUCKING]

390
00:19:45,734 --> 00:19:47,267
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
[GASPS]

391
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:49,901
Ha! He's a chicken.

392
00:19:49,901 --> 00:19:50,901
[BOTH LAUGH]

393
00:19:50,901 --> 00:19:52,067
[CLUCKING]

394
00:19:56,801 --> 00:19:58,467
[CLUCKING]

395
00:19:58,467 --> 00:20:00,734
I told you
that guy's a chicken.

396
00:20:00,734 --> 00:20:03,534
A chicken big enough
to feed an army.

397
00:20:08,434 --> 00:20:09,667
Hold it, fellers.

398
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:11,734
That there chicken's
big enough to feed an army.

399
00:20:14,767 --> 00:20:16,133
Ba-kaw--!

400
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:19,701
[CHICKEN BOO CLUCKING]

401
00:20:25,234 --> 00:20:28,167
 * You wear a disguise
 To look like human guys *

402
00:20:28,167 --> 00:20:31,400
 * But you're not a man
 You're a chicken, Boo *

403
00:20:36,434 --> 00:20:38,434
[***]

404
00:21:03,133 --> 00:21:04,767
Hey. Stay coo.