1
00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:06,367
[***]

2
00:00:16,734 --> 00:00:19,100
YAKKO & WAKKO:
Hi, we're the Warner brothers.

3
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:20,701
And the Warner sister.

4
00:00:20,701 --> 00:00:22,100
And we'd like to invite you

5
00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:24,467
and all the members
of your household--

6
00:00:24,467 --> 00:00:27,567
To gather around the TV set
and join us now--

7
00:00:27,567 --> 00:00:31,100
For a very special episode
of Animaniacs.

8
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:33,100
And what's so special about it?

9
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,667
I'm not wearing any pants.

10
00:00:36,634 --> 00:00:38,067
[***]

11
00:00:38,067 --> 00:00:41,934
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *

12
00:00:41,934 --> 00:00:44,567
* And we're zany to the max *

13
00:00:44,567 --> 00:00:46,334
* So just sit back and relax *

14
00:00:46,334 --> 00:00:48,000
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *

15
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,400
* We're Animaniacs *

16
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,234
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *

17
00:00:52,234 --> 00:00:53,868
* And the Warner sister, Dot *

18
00:00:53,868 --> 00:00:56,868
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *

19
00:00:56,868 --> 00:00:59,534
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *

20
00:00:59,534 --> 00:01:01,234
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *

21
00:01:01,234 --> 00:01:02,434
* And now you know the plot *

22
00:01:02,434 --> 00:01:04,968
* We're Animaniacs *

23
00:01:04,968 --> 00:01:07,934
 * Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

24
00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,267
 * Wakko packs away the snacks *

25
00:01:09,267 --> 00:01:10,968
 * While Bill Clinton
 Plays the sax *

26
00:01:10,968 --> 00:01:13,033
* We're Animaniacs *

27
00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:15,367
 * Meet Pinky and the Brain *

28
00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:16,868
 * Who want to rule
 The universe *

29
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:18,234
 * Goodfeathers flock together *

30
00:01:18,234 --> 00:01:19,767
 * Slappy whacks 'em
 With her purse *

31
00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:21,067
 * Buttons chases Mindy *

32
00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:22,601
 * While Rita sings a verse *

33
00:01:22,601 --> 00:01:24,367
* The writers flipped
We have no script *

34
00:01:24,367 --> 00:01:25,534
* Why bother to rehearse? *

35
00:01:25,534 --> 00:01:28,300
* We're Animaniacs *

36
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:31,133
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *

37
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,567
* We're zany to the max *

38
00:01:32,567 --> 00:01:34,234
* There's bologna
In our slacks *

39
00:01:34,234 --> 00:01:35,801
* We're Animan-y *

40
00:01:35,801 --> 00:01:37,234
* Totally insane-y *

41
00:01:37,234 --> 00:01:38,701
* Miss Cellany *

42
00:01:38,701 --> 00:01:40,901
* Animaniacs *

43
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:42,367
* Those are the facts *

44
00:01:44,467 --> 00:01:46,467
[***]

45
00:01:54,801 --> 00:01:57,367
Welcome to the Animaniacs
test kitchen.

46
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,334
We're cooking up something
really different

47
00:01:59,334 --> 00:02:00,334
for today's show.

48
00:02:00,334 --> 00:02:02,400
All we need are our ingredients.

49
00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,667
YAKKO:
* A dash of Pinky and the Brain
A cup of Slappy Squirrel *

50
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:09,868
* A tablespoon of Goodfeathers
Add Rita, Runt, then swirl *

51
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:12,901
* We add a pinch of hippos
Buttons and Mindy too *

52
00:02:12,901 --> 00:02:14,501
* Now top it off
with Skippy Squirrel *

53
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:15,501
* What's that make? *

54
00:02:15,501 --> 00:02:17,501
ALL:
* Animaniacs stew *

55
00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:19,834
What have we come up with?

56
00:02:19,834 --> 00:02:21,434
Just watch.

57
00:02:25,334 --> 00:02:29,434
 * They're Mindy and the Brain
 Mindy and the Brain *

58
00:02:29,434 --> 00:02:32,367
 * One's a small child
 And the other's *

59
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:33,801
 * The Brain *

60
00:02:33,801 --> 00:02:37,801
 * He uses his lobe
 To overthrow the globe *

61
00:02:37,801 --> 00:02:40,467
 * She's whimsy
 They're Mindy and the Brain *

62
00:02:40,467 --> 00:02:42,701
 * Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain *

63
00:02:56,033 --> 00:02:58,033
[GURGLING,
GIBBERING NONSENSICALLY]

64
00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:00,968
Hi, lady.

65
00:03:00,968 --> 00:03:03,200
It's "Mom."
Now, listen, honey.

66
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,033
Mommy has to go to
a better-parenting conference.

67
00:03:06,033 --> 00:03:08,000
You stay right here and play.

68
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,801
Okay, lady.
I love you. Bye-bye.

69
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,734
Now, Brain, you keep an eye
on Mindy while I'm gone.

70
00:03:15,734 --> 00:03:18,467
I always get an attitude
from him.

71
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,367
At last, that meddler is gone.

72
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,434
I'm free to begin my plan

73
00:03:23,434 --> 00:03:25,267
to conquer the world.

74
00:03:25,267 --> 00:03:28,334
First, I'll use telepathy
to open the cage.

75
00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:47,601
Now to get Mindy.

76
00:03:47,601 --> 00:03:49,267
Come, Mindy.
It's time for us

77
00:03:49,267 --> 00:03:50,601
to conquer the world.

78
00:03:50,601 --> 00:03:52,100
Why?

79
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,067
By right of superior
intelligence

80
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,100
I am best suited to guide
the destiny of this planet.

81
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,501
Why?

82
00:03:58,501 --> 00:04:01,100
My empirical powers
give me the mandate.

83
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,567
Why?

84
00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:04,567
Because it's something
I want to do!

85
00:04:04,567 --> 00:04:05,734
Okay. I love you.

86
00:04:05,734 --> 00:04:06,801
Mwah.

87
00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:09,934
I am uncomfortable with that.

88
00:04:09,934 --> 00:04:11,501
Now listen closely, Mindy.

89
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,968
Using the gardener's weedkiller,

90
00:04:12,968 --> 00:04:15,467
some manure,
and a little zoysia grass

91
00:04:15,467 --> 00:04:18,367
I will construct
a powerful stink bomb.

92
00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:21,234
We'll use the lawn-mower engine
to construct a rocket

93
00:04:21,234 --> 00:04:22,834
and fill it with the gas.

94
00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:24,267
When precisely launched

95
00:04:24,267 --> 00:04:26,033
the prevailing winds
will spread the gas

96
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,801
across the world's capitals.

97
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:31,200
As the stench drives government
officials out into the streets,

98
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,501
we will rush in and seize power.

99
00:04:33,501 --> 00:04:34,667
Do you understand?

100
00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:35,834
Mousy!

101
00:04:39,834 --> 00:04:41,601
Pretty Brain mousy.

102
00:04:42,234 --> 00:04:43,734
I am mortified.

103
00:04:44,901 --> 00:04:47,267
Little mousy, big head.

104
00:04:47,267 --> 00:04:49,868
Put me down, Mindy,
or I shall have to hurt you.

105
00:04:49,868 --> 00:04:51,467
Okay. I love you. Bye-bye!

106
00:04:58,334 --> 00:05:01,234
I sense I've completed
the first step of my plan:

107
00:05:01,234 --> 00:05:02,400
finding manure.

108
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,567
[FLIES BUZZING]

109
00:05:04,501 --> 00:05:06,501
[***]

110
00:05:11,534 --> 00:05:14,067
Pungent aroma, if I do say so.

111
00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:17,100
Now to construct the rocket.

112
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,267
Buggy. Buggy!

113
00:05:19,267 --> 00:05:22,067
All right, Mindy,
bring me the mower.

114
00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:24,200
Soon the world will be mine.

115
00:05:28,267 --> 00:05:29,300
Whoa!

116
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:31,434
Buggy go fast.

117
00:05:31,434 --> 00:05:32,634
Wee!

118
00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:33,767
Whoa!

119
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:34,934
Gaah!

120
00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:40,334
[SPITTING, GRUNTING]

121
00:05:41,801 --> 00:05:43,801
Buggy go round.

122
00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:50,267
[LAUGHS]

123
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,501
[LAWN MOWER APPROACHING]

124
00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:56,367
[SCREAMS]

125
00:05:57,434 --> 00:05:58,601
[GIGGLES]

126
00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:01,300
Silly Brain.

127
00:06:05,167 --> 00:06:07,868
This is most unexpected.

128
00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:23,200
[GURGLES]

129
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,634
Brain smell like poo-poo.

130
00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:29,334
I must rethink
my present career.

131
00:06:29,334 --> 00:06:31,667
What's that horrible smell?

132
00:06:31,667 --> 00:06:33,300
Is that you, Brain?

133
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:36,968
Have you been allowing Mindy
to feed you old cheese again?

134
00:06:36,968 --> 00:06:39,300
Bad mouse.
Bad, bad mouse.

135
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,601
I hate being chided.

136
00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:44,534
She'll be gone soon.

137
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:47,033
Then I can begin my plans
for tomorrow.

138
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:49,734
Another plot
to take over the world.

139
00:06:49,734 --> 00:06:51,133
But first,

140
00:06:51,133 --> 00:06:52,501
a bath.

141
00:06:58,767 --> 00:07:01,434
 * He's stinky
 They're Mindy and the Brain *

142
00:07:01,434 --> 00:07:04,434
 * Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain *

143
00:07:08,667 --> 00:07:10,634
 * They're Pinky and the cat *

144
00:07:10,634 --> 00:07:12,834
 * Yes, Pinky and the cat *

145
00:07:12,834 --> 00:07:14,434
 * Her name is Rita *

146
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,934
 * He's a lab rat *
A mouse.

147
00:07:16,934 --> 00:07:18,434
 * They live inside a cage *

148
00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:20,601
 * Making less than
 Minimum wage *

149
00:07:20,601 --> 00:07:23,300
 * It's dinky
 They're Pinky and the cat *

150
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,734
 * Cat, cat, cat, cat *

151
00:07:27,868 --> 00:07:29,767
What do you want
to do tonight, Rita?

152
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:30,767
I don't know.

153
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,667
Eat you for supper?

154
00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:36,801
[GULPS]

155
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:39,701
So far this is
my favorite episode.

156
00:07:39,701 --> 00:07:40,767
PINKY:
Narf!

157
00:07:40,767 --> 00:07:42,701
Oh, roomy accommodations, Rita.

158
00:07:42,701 --> 00:07:45,834
 * She ate the rat
 'Cause Rita is a cat *

159
00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:48,467
 * Cat, cat, cat, cat *

160
00:07:53,634 --> 00:07:56,167
* We've been mixing up
The scripts *

161
00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:58,634
* All the livelong show *

162
00:07:58,634 --> 00:08:01,300
* Putting characters together *

163
00:08:01,300 --> 00:08:04,267
* Who normally wouldn't go *

164
00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:06,868
And action!

165
00:08:14,667 --> 00:08:16,667
[***]

166
00:08:25,767 --> 00:08:27,834
Pesto, you're supposed to sing.

167
00:08:27,834 --> 00:08:28,834
Rita always sings.

168
00:08:28,834 --> 00:08:30,300
D-definitely sings here.

169
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,367
What am I, a nightingale?

170
00:08:31,367 --> 00:08:33,534
Oh, someone listen to me warble.

171
00:08:33,534 --> 00:08:35,801
Coo. Look at me. I'm warbling.

172
00:08:35,801 --> 00:08:37,334
It's so pretty.

173
00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:38,367
Forget it.

174
00:08:38,367 --> 00:08:39,367
[SIGHS EXASPERATEDLY]

175
00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:41,501
Okay, Pesto, I forgot it.

176
00:08:41,501 --> 00:08:43,934
Boca Raton, what a nanook.

177
00:08:47,534 --> 00:08:49,601
I wish we'd find
a nice home.

178
00:08:49,601 --> 00:08:51,634
When are we gonna find
a nice home, Pesto?

179
00:08:51,634 --> 00:08:52,968
How am I supposed to know?

180
00:08:52,968 --> 00:08:55,200
Am I intimate friends
with Donald Trump?

181
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,467
Do I work for Century 22?

182
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:59,868
Are my pockets bulging
with real-estate listings

183
00:08:59,868 --> 00:09:01,300
awaiting your perusal?

184
00:09:01,300 --> 00:09:02,968
Uh, I don't know, Pesto.

185
00:09:02,968 --> 00:09:04,868
I just thought us dogs
definitely should have

186
00:09:04,868 --> 00:09:07,734
a roof over our heads.
Definitely a roof for dogs.

187
00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:08,934
What did you say?

188
00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:10,534
That us dogs should have a home.

189
00:09:10,534 --> 00:09:12,501
Are you calling me a dog?

190
00:09:12,501 --> 00:09:14,200
Are you saying
that I'm ugly?

191
00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,167
That you don't want
your friends to see me?

192
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:18,934
That because my face doesn't
shine like a crown of a king,

193
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,667
I must be some kind of a beast?

194
00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,934
Gee, Pesto.
All I was saying--

195
00:09:22,934 --> 00:09:25,734
Here, boy. Here, big doggy.
Mm-mm.

196
00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:29,000
Come here, boy.
Get out of the rain. Oh, my.

197
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,400
Oh, boy. A nice human.

198
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,567
Ow!

199
00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:36,367
What are you, an elephant?
Watch it, Jumbo.

200
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:38,868
Oh, you poor dog.

201
00:09:38,868 --> 00:09:41,501
Come inside and dry off.

202
00:09:41,501 --> 00:09:42,501
Woof!

203
00:09:42,501 --> 00:09:44,200
[SCREAMS]

204
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,467
Don't move, doggy.

205
00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:48,300
A horrid pigeon
just landed on your back.

206
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,434
It probably wants
to suck out your blood.

207
00:09:50,434 --> 00:09:51,434
Oof!

208
00:09:54,367 --> 00:09:56,868
Nasty, nasty bloodsucking bird.

209
00:09:56,868 --> 00:09:58,534
Nosferatu.

210
00:09:58,534 --> 00:10:00,367
Pia Zadora.

211
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:03,067
Come, boy. Let's go
inside my house

212
00:10:03,067 --> 00:10:06,534
where it's nice and warm
and filled with stuff.

213
00:10:06,534 --> 00:10:08,567
Julius La Rosa,
that hurts.

214
00:10:10,701 --> 00:10:12,567
You'll rest here
and be a dog,

215
00:10:12,567 --> 00:10:14,634
and I'll go get you
a nice big bone.

216
00:10:14,634 --> 00:10:15,801
Mm-mm.

217
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,400
[YAWNS]

218
00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:25,434
[SQUAWKS]

219
00:10:25,434 --> 00:10:26,567
Ow.

220
00:10:26,567 --> 00:10:29,100
Be nice, Crackers.
We have company. See?

221
00:10:29,100 --> 00:10:33,534
It's a big dog whom I shall call
Scout or Mr. Mumphead.

222
00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:34,834
I haven't decided.

223
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:35,968
[WHISTLES]

224
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,400
Crackers. Crackers.

225
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:38,601
Don't be jealous.

226
00:10:38,601 --> 00:10:40,701
You're the dearest thing
in the world to me

227
00:10:40,701 --> 00:10:43,033
which should give you
some idea of my values.

228
00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:44,534
Mm-mm.

229
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:48,033
[SNORING]

230
00:10:48,033 --> 00:10:50,000
What do I look like here,
a doorstop?

231
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,200
Ronzoni!

232
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,734
Now to wake up Runt

233
00:10:53,734 --> 00:10:55,801
so we can get
the heck outta here.

234
00:10:57,901 --> 00:10:59,400
[SQUAWKS]

235
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,167
[SNORTS]
Oh, boy. Something scared me.

236
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:02,601
Something definitely scared me.

237
00:11:05,501 --> 00:11:07,367
What are you doing
with the fur sticking up?

238
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,567
I don't understand,
is this something dogs do?

239
00:11:09,567 --> 00:11:11,801
Something scared me,
definitely scared me.

240
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,467
CRACKERS:
Crackers. Crackers.

241
00:11:13,467 --> 00:11:15,000
[SQUAWKS]

242
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,801
Excuse me.
What did you say?

243
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:18,534
Crackers. Crackers.

244
00:11:19,634 --> 00:11:21,834
Aw, gee, Pesto.
What are you gonna do?

245
00:11:21,834 --> 00:11:23,234
What am I gonna do?

246
00:11:23,234 --> 00:11:24,968
I'm gonna teach
that bird some manners.

247
00:11:24,968 --> 00:11:27,067
That's what I'm gonna do.

248
00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:30,667
You know, you belong
on a pirate's shoulder,

249
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:32,000
you miserable LaGuardia.

250
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,200
Do you have something
you wanna say to my beak?

251
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,501
[SQUAWKS]

252
00:11:35,501 --> 00:11:37,667
Crackers. Crackers.

253
00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:39,234
Are you calling me
crackers?

254
00:11:39,234 --> 00:11:42,000
Are you saying I'm a large
sodium-covered square

255
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,300
here to amuse you?

256
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:46,133
Crackers. Crackers.
Crackers.

257
00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:47,133
That's it.

258
00:11:47,133 --> 00:11:48,501
Hey, here's your saltine--

259
00:11:48,501 --> 00:11:50,501
That's gonna be trouble,
definitely trouble.

260
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,567
PESTO:
I'll give you a cracker
upside the head.

261
00:11:52,567 --> 00:11:55,200
Stop it. Stop it at once.

262
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,300
Crackers.

263
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,534
Crackers.

264
00:12:01,934 --> 00:12:03,367
[SCREAMS]

265
00:12:03,367 --> 00:12:05,934
How dare you suck the blood
from my parrot.

266
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:08,767
Horrid, horrid,
undead bird!

267
00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:12,501
Did you see me beak him?

268
00:12:12,501 --> 00:12:14,467
I beaked him real good.

269
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,868
He never laid a wing on me.

270
00:12:16,868 --> 00:12:18,701
Get out! The both of you.

271
00:12:18,701 --> 00:12:20,968
You were in this together
the whole time.

272
00:12:20,968 --> 00:12:23,167
It was a plot
to hurt my Crackers.

273
00:12:25,801 --> 00:12:27,367
Don Pardo.

274
00:12:30,868 --> 00:12:32,534
Ah, gee, Pesto.

275
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,901
I know, I know.
I'm supposed to sing. Fine.

276
00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:37,234
* La, la
La-la, la-la, la-la *

277
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:38,834
* La-la, la-la, la-la *

278
00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:40,000
There. You happy?

279
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,267
That was good, Pesto.

280
00:12:42,267 --> 00:12:43,267
You think it was great?

281
00:12:43,267 --> 00:12:44,501
No, but it was good.

282
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:45,901
But you think
it was good, right?

283
00:12:45,901 --> 00:12:47,467
Hey, you know what?

284
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,434
I could be the next
Wing Newton.

285
00:12:50,634 --> 00:12:52,133
[PHONE RINGS]

286
00:12:53,601 --> 00:12:55,434
 * She's Katie Ka-Boom *

287
00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:56,868
 * Katie Ka-Boom *

288
00:12:56,868 --> 00:12:59,834
 * She lives in a house
 With a garden in bloom *

289
00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:02,901
 * Her family knows
 That any time soon *

290
00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:04,234
 * Their little lady, Katie *

291
00:13:04,234 --> 00:13:05,767
 * Goes ka-boom *

292
00:13:15,234 --> 00:13:16,834
KATIE:
You're gonna like my parents.

293
00:13:16,834 --> 00:13:18,234
They're weird, but they're nice.

294
00:13:18,234 --> 00:13:20,067
Wait here.
I'll go find 'em.

295
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,567
Mom? Dad?

296
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,300
We're in here, hon.

297
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:24,901
He's here.

298
00:13:24,901 --> 00:13:26,067
Who's here?

299
00:13:26,067 --> 00:13:28,234
It's C.B. We're dating.

300
00:13:28,234 --> 00:13:29,934
You're dating C.B.,

301
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,067
the student council president?
Yup.

302
00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:34,634
We-- Th-the captain
of the wrestling team?

303
00:13:34,634 --> 00:13:36,567
That's him.
Wait'll you meet him.

304
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:39,434
I'll be right back.
Nobody move.

305
00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:42,334
I heard C.B. will be
this year's valedictorian.

306
00:13:42,334 --> 00:13:44,534
Well, now, I heard
he's taking the wrestlers

307
00:13:44,534 --> 00:13:46,834
all the way
to the state championship.

308
00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:49,267
I heard he's a giant chicken.

309
00:13:49,267 --> 00:13:50,734
Tinker!

310
00:13:50,734 --> 00:13:53,100
Don't talk about
Katie's boyfriends that way.

311
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:56,033
Mom, Dad, meet C.B.

312
00:13:56,934 --> 00:13:58,734
C.B., these are my parents.

313
00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:08,901
What?

314
00:14:08,901 --> 00:14:11,968
Sweetie, can we have a word
with ya in, uh, p-- Uh, private?

315
00:14:14,434 --> 00:14:16,400
Be right back.

316
00:14:19,934 --> 00:14:21,300
What is wrong with you two?

317
00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:22,667
I'm so embarrassed.

318
00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:25,000
Katie, about C.B...

319
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,601
Isn't he just dreamy?

320
00:14:26,601 --> 00:14:28,767
No, honey.
He's a chicken.

321
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:31,434
With feathers
and a-- A beak.

322
00:14:31,434 --> 00:14:33,167
I told you he was a chicken.

323
00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:34,734
He's not a chicken.

324
00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:36,667
Bawk-bawk.

325
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,300
Katie, darling,
we're only trying to protect you

326
00:14:39,300 --> 00:14:40,434
from getting hurt.

327
00:14:40,434 --> 00:14:42,601
You never like my friends.

328
00:14:42,601 --> 00:14:45,200
KATIE [IN A HARSH VOICE]:
You never like anyone I like.

329
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,200
Katie. Now, darling,
please just calm down.

330
00:14:50,801 --> 00:14:52,133
Hit the dirt!

331
00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:53,467
[RINGING]

332
00:14:53,467 --> 00:14:54,467
[BLARING]

333
00:14:54,467 --> 00:14:55,467
[BEEPING]

334
00:14:55,467 --> 00:14:56,968
[CLUCKING]

335
00:14:59,968 --> 00:15:02,467
You never like my friends.

336
00:15:02,467 --> 00:15:04,434
Never. Never!

337
00:15:10,968 --> 00:15:12,467
[ROARS]

338
00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:15,634
Ba-kaw!

339
00:15:16,634 --> 00:15:18,667
Huh?

340
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:21,534
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
You really are a chicken.
Why didn't you tell me?

341
00:15:21,534 --> 00:15:23,133
[CLUCKS]

342
00:15:23,133 --> 00:15:25,033
[IN HARSH VOICE]
Why didn't you tell me?

343
00:15:25,033 --> 00:15:27,367
[ROARS]

344
00:15:27,367 --> 00:15:29,567
Here we go again.

345
00:15:29,567 --> 00:15:31,534
Katie,
you're overreacting.

346
00:15:31,534 --> 00:15:34,400
I'm not overreacting.

347
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,000
I'm dating...

348
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,501
a chicken!

349
00:15:39,734 --> 00:15:42,033
[CLUCKING]

350
00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:44,834
[***]

351
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,367
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Mom,

352
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:52,200
C.B. and I broke up.

353
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,234
[SOBS]

354
00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:54,534
There, there.

355
00:15:56,901 --> 00:15:59,667
 * You wear a disguise
 To look like human guys *

356
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,801
 * But you're not a man
 You're a chicken, Boo *

357
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:08,834
* We found this old computer *

358
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:10,167
* And then we fixed it up *

359
00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:13,234
* We threw in
All the characters *

360
00:16:13,234 --> 00:16:15,267
* Now they're all mixed up *

361
00:16:17,868 --> 00:16:19,434
 * She's the crankiest
 Of creatures *

362
00:16:19,434 --> 00:16:21,467
 * In the whole wide world *

363
00:16:21,467 --> 00:16:24,834
 * This short cartoon features
 Dottie the squirrel *

364
00:16:24,834 --> 00:16:26,000
The name's Dot.

365
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,434
Call me Dottie and ya die.

366
00:16:27,434 --> 00:16:30,200
 * That's Dottie *

367
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,200
I warned you.

368
00:16:52,567 --> 00:16:53,934
The time has come

369
00:16:53,934 --> 00:16:56,200
for the mother-in-law
of all battles.

370
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,968
Soon the world will tremble
as I, Sodarn Hinsane,

371
00:16:59,968 --> 00:17:03,667
unleash my really neat
new armies upon the Mideast.

372
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:06,567
Nothing can stand in my way.

373
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,200
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

374
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,601
Uh, excuse me.

375
00:17:10,601 --> 00:17:12,300
Is this the Baghdad Cafe?

376
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:13,801
No. Who are you?

377
00:17:13,801 --> 00:17:15,801
[***]

378
00:17:18,033 --> 00:17:20,901
* We're the Warner brothers
We like to sing a lot *

379
00:17:20,901 --> 00:17:22,767
* My name's Yakko *
* My name's Wakko *

380
00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,801
BOTH:
* And here's our sister *

381
00:17:25,901 --> 00:17:26,901
Slappy.

382
00:17:26,901 --> 00:17:28,400
"I'm the cute one."

383
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,567
I don't get it.

384
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:31,033
This old squirrel?

385
00:17:31,033 --> 00:17:33,467
She is 10,000 years
older than sand.

386
00:17:33,467 --> 00:17:35,334
How can you be
brothers and sister?

387
00:17:35,334 --> 00:17:36,400
Shh. Don't tell her.

388
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:37,501
She's adopted.

389
00:17:37,501 --> 00:17:40,000
That's it. I'm outta here.

390
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,968
Where's Skippy? Skippy?

391
00:17:42,901 --> 00:17:44,601
Aunt Slappy.

392
00:17:44,601 --> 00:17:46,434
You're not Skippy.

393
00:17:46,434 --> 00:17:49,234
What the heck's
goin' on around here?

394
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:51,634
Now, now, calm down,
sister sibling.

395
00:17:51,634 --> 00:17:53,934
We're at the Baghdad Cafe
for brunch, remember?

396
00:17:53,934 --> 00:17:54,934
No.

397
00:17:54,934 --> 00:17:56,601
And this is the headwaiter.

398
00:17:56,601 --> 00:17:57,868
What?

399
00:17:57,868 --> 00:18:00,567
Garcon, a table for three,
please, by the window.

400
00:18:04,434 --> 00:18:07,000
[GASPS]
On second thought,
how about something

401
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,000
closer to the kitchen?

402
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:11,601
This should do
just fine.

403
00:18:11,601 --> 00:18:13,267
I am no headwaiter.

404
00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:14,934
Good. Then I won't have
to tip ya.

405
00:18:16,534 --> 00:18:19,000
Stop that!
You are eating Kuwait.

406
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,000
Needs salt.

407
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,667
[BURPS]

408
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:22,968
Thanks for sharing.

409
00:18:22,968 --> 00:18:24,567
Guard. Guard!

410
00:18:24,567 --> 00:18:25,767
Get in here.

411
00:18:27,934 --> 00:18:29,601
Remove these pests.

412
00:18:30,634 --> 00:18:32,934
Slappy, your line.

413
00:18:32,934 --> 00:18:34,534
All right, all right.

414
00:18:34,534 --> 00:18:36,267
Let me see here.

415
00:18:36,267 --> 00:18:39,300
"She leaps
into the handsome guard's arms."

416
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,334
Give me a boost, will ya?
I'm old.

417
00:18:44,734 --> 00:18:46,367
Okay, here goes.

418
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:47,934
[COUGHING]
Ahem.

419
00:18:47,934 --> 00:18:50,968
"Hello, nurse."

420
00:18:50,968 --> 00:18:52,667
I don't get it.
What does that mean?

421
00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:54,033
Enough.

422
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:55,567
I couldn't agree more.

423
00:18:55,567 --> 00:18:57,567
Do you know who I am?

424
00:18:57,567 --> 00:18:58,701
Why? Did ya forget?

425
00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:03,467
Little fools,
I am the leader of Iraq.

426
00:19:03,467 --> 00:19:04,834
The supreme commander.

427
00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:07,334
The mighty Sodarn Hinsane.

428
00:19:07,334 --> 00:19:09,667
"Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm Princess Angelina

429
00:19:09,667 --> 00:19:11,667
Contessa Louisa Francesca--"

430
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:13,601
Ah. Forget it. I'm done.

431
00:19:13,601 --> 00:19:16,667
Here. Have some dynamite
down your pants.

432
00:19:18,767 --> 00:19:20,267
[SCREAMS]

433
00:19:26,634 --> 00:19:29,234
* Our story is over
Its ending is happy *

434
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:32,400
* Thanks to Yakko, Wakko
And our sister *

435
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,167
* Slappy *

436
00:19:34,167 --> 00:19:36,801
Next time I'm askin'
for script approval.

437
00:19:45,534 --> 00:19:46,834
It's that time again.

438
00:19:46,834 --> 00:19:48,334
To pad out the show?

439
00:19:48,334 --> 00:19:50,501
To search for Elvis
at 7-Elevens?

440
00:19:50,501 --> 00:19:53,067
No. It's time to learn
the day's lesson.

441
00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,400
And to find out what it is,

442
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,634
we turn to...

443
00:19:55,634 --> 00:19:56,868
the Wheel of Morality.

444
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:00,567
Wheel of Morality,
turn, turn, turn.

445
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,667
YAKKO:
Tell us the lesson
that we should learn.

446
00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:04,000
Moral number three.

447
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,734
And the moral
of today's story is:

448
00:20:06,734 --> 00:20:08,901
You can teach
an old dog new tricks,

449
00:20:08,901 --> 00:20:10,901
but you can't
teach Madonna to act.

450
00:20:10,901 --> 00:20:14,300
That makes me feel
all kind of warm and squishy.

451
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:16,000
Either that,
or I sat in something.

452
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,100
[WHISTLE BLOWS]

453
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:18,767
ALL:
Yike!

454
00:20:24,033 --> 00:20:26,033
[***]

455
00:20:58,934 --> 00:21:00,133
ALL:
Aaah!

456
00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:02,667
There's a horrible bug
on your shoulder.

457
00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:04,234
ALL:
Aaah!

458
00:21:04,234 --> 00:21:05,534
Just kidding.

459
00:21:05,534 --> 00:21:07,033
[LAUGHING]