1
00:00:04,767 --> 00:00:06,501
[***]

2
00:00:06,501 --> 00:00:10,400
NARRATOR:
 And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.

3
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,868
[CLEARS THROAT]

4
00:00:11,868 --> 00:00:13,467
"The Shoe."

5
00:00:13,467 --> 00:00:15,767
 There was an old woman
 Who lived in a shoe

6
00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:17,734
 And, boy, did it stink in there

7
00:00:17,734 --> 00:00:19,033
Thank you.

8
00:00:19,033 --> 00:00:21,033
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

9
00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:27,501
NARRATOR:
 This has been another visit
 to Dot's Poetry Corner.

10
00:00:28,567 --> 00:00:30,167
[***]

11
00:00:30,167 --> 00:00:33,868
ALL:
* It's time for Animaniacs *

12
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:36,501
* And we're zany to the max *

13
00:00:36,501 --> 00:00:38,267
* So just sit back and relax *

14
00:00:38,267 --> 00:00:39,934
* You'll laugh
Till you collapse *

15
00:00:39,934 --> 00:00:42,334
* We're Animaniacs *

16
00:00:42,334 --> 00:00:44,133
BOTH:
* Come join
The Warner brothers *

17
00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:45,767
* And the Warner sister, Dot *

18
00:00:45,767 --> 00:00:48,767
ALL:
* Just for fun we run around
The Warner movie lot *

19
00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:51,467
* They lock us in the tower
Whenever we get caught *

20
00:00:51,467 --> 00:00:53,167
* But we break loose
And then vamoose *

21
00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:54,367
* And now you know the plot *

22
00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:56,901
* We're Animaniacs *

23
00:00:56,901 --> 00:00:59,868
 * Dot is cute and Yakko yaks *

24
00:00:59,868 --> 00:01:01,200
 * Wakko packs away the snacks *

25
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:02,901
 * While Bill Clinton
 Plays the sax *

26
00:01:02,901 --> 00:01:04,968
* We're Animaniacs *

27
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,300
 * Meet Pinky and the Brain *

28
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,801
 * Who want to rule
 The universe *

29
00:01:08,801 --> 00:01:10,167
 * Goodfeathers flock together *

30
00:01:10,167 --> 00:01:11,701
 * Slappy whacks 'em
 With her purse *

31
00:01:11,701 --> 00:01:13,000
 * Buttons chases Mindy *

32
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,534
 * While Rita sings a verse *

33
00:01:14,534 --> 00:01:16,267
* The writers flipped
We have no script *

34
00:01:16,267 --> 00:01:17,434
* Why bother to rehearse? *

35
00:01:17,434 --> 00:01:20,200
* We're Animaniacs *

36
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,033
* We have pay-or-play
Contracts *

37
00:01:23,033 --> 00:01:24,501
* We're zany to the max *

38
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,167
* There's bologna
In our slacks *

39
00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:27,734
* We're Animan-y *

40
00:01:27,734 --> 00:01:29,167
* Totally insane-y *

41
00:01:29,167 --> 00:01:30,634
* Miss Cellany *

42
00:01:30,634 --> 00:01:32,834
* Animaniacs *

43
00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:34,300
* Those are the facts *

44
00:01:36,434 --> 00:01:38,434
[***]

45
00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:44,567
[***]

46
00:01:44,567 --> 00:01:46,133
It's time to play:

47
00:01:46,133 --> 00:01:48,701
AUDIENCE:
 You Risk Your Life!

48
00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:56,200
Now, everybody's favorite host,
Yakko.

49
00:02:01,701 --> 00:02:03,701
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]

50
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:09,100
[APPLAUSE]

51
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,467
Thank you.

52
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:16,934
Oh, Scratchansniff,

53
00:02:16,934 --> 00:02:19,267
why don't we bring out
our first two contestants.

54
00:02:19,267 --> 00:02:23,434
Okay. She's a homemaker
from Madison, Wisconsin.

55
00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:26,100
He is the world's
greatest philosopher.

56
00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:31,234
Please welcome Mrs. Myra
Puntridge und Aristotle.

57
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,100
[APPLAUSE]

58
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,901
Welcome to
 You Risk Your Life.

59
00:02:38,901 --> 00:02:40,300
Say the secret word and Wakko

60
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,901
will hit you on the head
with a mallet.

61
00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:46,133
SCRATCHANSNIFF:
 Today's secret word is "Yes."

62
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,734
Now, Myra, you're a homemaker,
is that right?

63
00:02:48,734 --> 00:02:50,133
Oh, correct.

64
00:02:50,133 --> 00:02:51,601
What kind of homes do you make?

65
00:02:51,601 --> 00:02:53,601
[ALL LAUGHING]

66
00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:56,100
[GIGGLES]

67
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:58,033
And, Aristotle, let's see here.

68
00:02:58,033 --> 00:03:00,367
It says you are a philosopher,
is that correct?

69
00:03:00,367 --> 00:03:01,367
Yes.

70
00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:03,067
[DINGING]

71
00:03:07,267 --> 00:03:09,567
Congratulations.
You said the secret word.

72
00:03:11,601 --> 00:03:14,434
Well, are you both ready
to play You Risk Your Life?

73
00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:15,434
Yes.

74
00:03:15,434 --> 00:03:16,934
[DINGING]

75
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:23,200
You said the secret word again.
Congratulations.

76
00:03:25,234 --> 00:03:29,334
All right, you've chosen
the category "Vocabulary."

77
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,968
Here's your question.

78
00:03:30,968 --> 00:03:34,300
"What word is
the opposite of no?"

79
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:36,067
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

80
00:03:40,434 --> 00:03:42,000
Yes.

81
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,300
That's correct!

82
00:03:49,834 --> 00:03:52,167
Good night, everybody.
See you tomorrow.

83
00:03:52,167 --> 00:03:54,000
[APPLAUSE]

84
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,200
SCRATCHANSNIFF:
 Mallet furnished by Bashem
 and Wallop of Beverly Hills.

85
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,667
 Good night.

86
00:04:01,267 --> 00:04:02,934
[***]

87
00:04:02,934 --> 00:04:06,133
ALL:
* The crankiest of creatures
In the whole wide world *

88
00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:09,667
* Our next cartoon
Features Slappy the squirrel *

89
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:13,434
Enough with the singing already.

90
00:04:13,434 --> 00:04:15,367
* That's Slappy *

91
00:04:18,534 --> 00:04:20,534
[***]

92
00:04:24,667 --> 00:04:26,667
[***]

93
00:04:36,534 --> 00:04:37,667
Aah...

94
00:04:37,667 --> 00:04:39,667
Diet soda. Heh.

95
00:04:39,667 --> 00:04:41,300
Gotta watch my figure.

96
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:43,968
Hey, somebody's gotta watch it.

97
00:04:43,968 --> 00:04:45,834
[CHUCKLES]

98
00:04:49,901 --> 00:04:52,200
Where you going,
Aunt Slappy?

99
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,734
To the store
to get some buttermilk.

100
00:04:54,734 --> 00:04:57,067
Spew!

101
00:04:57,067 --> 00:04:59,701
Hey, they make it,
somebody's gotta drink it.

102
00:05:12,467 --> 00:05:15,100
[***]

103
00:05:15,767 --> 00:05:16,934
Eww!

104
00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,334
Excuse me.

105
00:05:24,334 --> 00:05:26,167
You're excused.

106
00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:28,434
Um, would you mind?

107
00:05:28,434 --> 00:05:29,434
Probably.

108
00:05:29,434 --> 00:05:30,634
Look,

109
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,601
I ain't interested in Amway,
lady, all right?

110
00:05:32,601 --> 00:05:35,467
Would you mind
removing your can

111
00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:37,334
from my trash
receptacle?

112
00:05:37,334 --> 00:05:39,267
Allen Funt is a dead man.

113
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,534
That is my trash can.

114
00:05:41,534 --> 00:05:44,601
I'm sure you must have
a trash can of your own.

115
00:05:44,601 --> 00:05:46,133
Let me get this straight.

116
00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:49,067
You want me to take my soda can
out of your trash can,

117
00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:51,300
walk all the way
back over to my tree,

118
00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,501
and throw it
in my trash can?

119
00:05:53,501 --> 00:05:54,534
That's right.

120
00:05:54,534 --> 00:05:55,968
Do you have a problem with that?

121
00:05:55,968 --> 00:05:57,767
No, but now you do.

122
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,300
Thank you so much.
Buh-bye.

123
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,200
You're welcome so much.
Buh-bye.

124
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,033
If I were a better person,

125
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:10,033
I'd ignore her
and go on with my life.

126
00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:11,167
But I'm not.

127
00:06:11,167 --> 00:06:13,167
[CACKLES]

128
00:06:16,634 --> 00:06:17,901
[DOORBELL RINGS]

129
00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:21,601
Hey, miss lady.

130
00:06:21,601 --> 00:06:23,400
Would you like to buy
some cookies?

131
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,667
All the proceeds

132
00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:27,467
go to help squirrel scouts
to be more like you.

133
00:06:27,467 --> 00:06:30,634
Isn't that appropriate.
I'll take one box.

134
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,133
I love helping out
children less perfect than I.

135
00:06:43,834 --> 00:06:44,834
[GASPS]

136
00:06:44,834 --> 00:06:46,434
[GROWLS]

137
00:06:46,434 --> 00:06:48,534
[BOTH LAUGHING]

138
00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:49,868
Oof!

139
00:06:51,501 --> 00:06:53,601
Let the games begin.

140
00:06:53,601 --> 00:06:54,868
[***]

141
00:06:54,868 --> 00:06:56,367
[DOORBELL RINGS]

142
00:06:57,534 --> 00:07:00,901
Victoria Sifuentes,
attorney at law. My card.

143
00:07:00,901 --> 00:07:05,234
Ipso facto on this date-o
your late-us Uncle Festoon

144
00:07:05,234 --> 00:07:08,567
has passed on
and left you this.

145
00:07:08,567 --> 00:07:11,300
My, my.
Oh, why, thank you.

146
00:07:18,534 --> 00:07:20,501
I wonder what it could be.

147
00:07:20,501 --> 00:07:21,968
Aha!

148
00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:31,067
[BOTH LAUGHING]

149
00:07:33,834 --> 00:07:37,534
Skippy, in most cases,
revenge is not a good thing.

150
00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:38,701
Oof!

151
00:07:39,968 --> 00:07:42,434
In other cases,
it's the only thing.

152
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,400
[***]

153
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,334
"Dear Candie Chipmunk,
congratulations.

154
00:07:55,334 --> 00:07:56,868
"You have been chosen
to appear

155
00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:59,934
"on the new game show
entitled The New Game Show.

156
00:07:59,934 --> 00:08:02,434
Come to the studio right away."

157
00:08:02,434 --> 00:08:05,734
Imagine me on a game show.
What'll I wear?

158
00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:08,667
All right, Candie.

159
00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:09,901
You've already won

160
00:08:09,901 --> 00:08:12,534
a washer-dryer,
a wet bar, a Lexus,

161
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:16,567
the Love Boat, Cher's house,
and the planet Venus.

162
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:19,100
AUDIENCE:
Ooh. Aah.

163
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:21,133
Do you want
to keep your prizes,

164
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:24,000
or trade them for something
possibly even bigger

165
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,534
behind Curtain Number 3?

166
00:08:28,767 --> 00:08:31,734
BOTH [IN UNISON]:
Hello, nurse.

167
00:08:31,734 --> 00:08:34,033
Boys, go fig.

168
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,801
I'll take...

169
00:08:37,801 --> 00:08:38,901
the curtain!

170
00:08:45,167 --> 00:08:47,167
[SIZZLING]

171
00:08:51,267 --> 00:08:52,767
She exploded.

172
00:08:52,767 --> 00:08:53,767
It's a toon thing.

173
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:54,767
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

174
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,267
Shoot me.

175
00:09:01,467 --> 00:09:04,133
Look at that.
She ain't recyclin'.

176
00:09:06,033 --> 00:09:07,834
[***]

177
00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:11,300
CANDIE:
* Hup, two, three, four
No can's getting in my door *

178
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:14,667
* Hup, two, three, four
No can's getting in my door *

179
00:09:14,667 --> 00:09:15,834
[DOORBELL RINGS]

180
00:09:17,701 --> 00:09:18,834
Hello.

181
00:09:18,834 --> 00:09:20,801
We're taking collections
for the homeless.

182
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:22,033
[CANDIE GROWLS]

183
00:09:22,033 --> 00:09:25,300
Prepare to eat it, Slappy.

184
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:26,601
[BOTH SCREAM]

185
00:09:26,601 --> 00:09:27,801
Oh, my goodness!

186
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:28,801
Oh, my goodness!

187
00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:30,701
Ha! Gotcha.

188
00:09:34,167 --> 00:09:38,300
She reminds me of a very young
Wilma Flintstone.

189
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,200
[***]

190
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,067
[KEYS CLICKING]

191
00:09:53,434 --> 00:09:55,434
[SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING]

192
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:02,434
Ho, ho, ho!

193
00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:04,634
Have I got something
for you.

194
00:10:05,701 --> 00:10:09,133
Mm, a present
from Santa Slappy?

195
00:10:09,133 --> 00:10:12,534
Let me guess.
Could it be a can?

196
00:10:12,534 --> 00:10:16,067
Being the jolly representation
of the holidays

197
00:10:16,067 --> 00:10:17,734
isn't what it used to be.

198
00:10:22,834 --> 00:10:24,834
[***]

199
00:10:28,534 --> 00:10:30,434
[BIRDS CHIRPING]

200
00:10:44,968 --> 00:10:47,667
I've been waiting
and waiting and waiting!

201
00:10:47,667 --> 00:10:50,801
I can't take it any longer!
Give it to me!

202
00:10:50,801 --> 00:10:53,868
Give it to me! Give it to me!

203
00:10:57,167 --> 00:10:59,267
What about the plot,
Hemingway?

204
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:01,767
What's an anvil got to do
with this story?

205
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:04,667
Who cares? Anvils are funny.

206
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:07,334
Kids, what the heck can you do?

207
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,100
Watch a pro, Skippy.

208
00:11:17,534 --> 00:11:21,267
Congratulations, lady.
You're a mother.

209
00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:22,367
Who knew?

210
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,901
[***]

211
00:11:28,501 --> 00:11:32,167
Oh, he looks
just like his father.

212
00:11:32,167 --> 00:11:37,000
Now, you and Mr. Dumpster
have a happy life. Buh-bye.

213
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,934
Burp for Mommy.

214
00:11:38,934 --> 00:11:41,267
Now for that buttermilk.

215
00:11:41,267 --> 00:11:43,834
Spew!

216
00:11:43,834 --> 00:11:46,801
It could be worse.
It could be prune juice.

217
00:11:48,868 --> 00:11:50,167
[***]

218
00:11:53,033 --> 00:11:55,033
[***]

219
00:11:58,767 --> 00:12:01,334
PINKY:
Gee, Brain.
What do you wanna do tonight?

220
00:12:01,334 --> 00:12:03,901
The same thing we do
every night, Pinky.

221
00:12:03,901 --> 00:12:05,734
Try to take over the world.

222
00:12:05,734 --> 00:12:07,634
[***]

223
00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:11,300
ALL:
* They're Pinky and the Brain *

224
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,667
* Yes, Pinky and the Brain *

225
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:17,167
* One is a genius
The other's insane *

226
00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:19,567
* They're laboratory mice *

227
00:12:19,567 --> 00:12:21,067
* Their genes
Have been spliced *

228
00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:24,033
* They're dinky
They're Pinky and the Brain *

229
00:12:24,033 --> 00:12:26,400
* Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain *

230
00:12:31,868 --> 00:12:33,868
[***]

231
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,434
[***]

232
00:12:39,434 --> 00:12:41,267
[PINKY PANTING]

233
00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:43,000
Can I stop now, Brain?

234
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,400
Not until I finish
my demonstration.

235
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,601
When I build my reverse
geotropic arrester, Pinky,

236
00:12:49,601 --> 00:12:52,200
and throw it from
the North Pole like this:

237
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,200
[BRAIN GRUNTS]

238
00:12:55,534 --> 00:12:58,367
In a matter of seconds,
the cable will become taut,

239
00:12:58,367 --> 00:13:00,167
gravity will cease,

240
00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:02,434
and everyone will fly off
the face of the Earth--

241
00:13:02,434 --> 00:13:03,434
[SCREAMS]

242
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:04,601
[CRASH]

243
00:13:04,601 --> 00:13:07,901
--leaving us alone
to assume control.

244
00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:10,033
[GRUNTS]

245
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,300
Egad, Brain.
Brilliant.

246
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:16,701
[LAUGHS]

247
00:13:16,701 --> 00:13:18,167
Oh, wait. No, no.

248
00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:21,067
What's going to keep us
from flying off the Earth?

249
00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:25,567
BRAIN:
We will duct-tape ourselves
to a tree.

250
00:13:25,567 --> 00:13:28,033
Unfortunately,
we still need to raise money

251
00:13:28,033 --> 00:13:30,100
to buy a 1 billion-ton magnet.

252
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,501
But I have a solution.

253
00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:37,701
Tomorrow is the running
of the Kentucky Derby.

254
00:13:37,701 --> 00:13:39,467
Do you know what that is?

255
00:13:39,467 --> 00:13:40,834
Um...

256
00:13:40,834 --> 00:13:43,000
Oh, a very large hat?

257
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,000
Promise me something, Pinky.

258
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,033
Never breed.

259
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,400
I'll try.

260
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:51,567
The Kentucky Derby is the
biggest horserace of the year.

261
00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:53,400
There's a $1,000,000 purse

262
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,801
going to the jockey
riding the winning horse,

263
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:58,267
and I am going
to win that purse!

264
00:13:58,267 --> 00:14:00,667
Zort, Brain,
a million-dollar purse?

265
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:02,133
Oh, you're going to need

266
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,968
matching pumps
and earrings for that.

267
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:06,634
Focus, Pinky, focus.

268
00:14:06,634 --> 00:14:07,968
Now, watch.

269
00:14:08,968 --> 00:14:09,968
Voilą!

270
00:14:09,968 --> 00:14:12,834
[***]

271
00:14:12,834 --> 00:14:15,434
Narf!
Oh, Brain, I get it.

272
00:14:15,434 --> 00:14:17,534
You're a beautiful
lawn ornament.

273
00:14:17,534 --> 00:14:20,267
Look at me, narf.
I'm a pink flamingo.

274
00:14:20,267 --> 00:14:21,367
[GIGGLES]

275
00:14:21,367 --> 00:14:22,667
I'm a cement deer.

276
00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:23,767
[GIGGLES]

277
00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:26,567
Oh, I'm one of the seven dwarfs,
Brain.

278
00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:29,133
Stop it, Pinky,
or I shall have to hurt you.

279
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:31,334
Oh, righto, Brain. Narf.

280
00:14:31,334 --> 00:14:33,167
Now, let us make haste,

281
00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:36,234
for we have much to do
before the race begins.

282
00:14:36,234 --> 00:14:37,400
PINKY:
Poit.

283
00:14:38,934 --> 00:14:41,467
BRAIN:
 First, Pinky,
 we must visit the stables.

284
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,868
 Inside, we will find
 the winning horse.

285
00:14:47,868 --> 00:14:50,634
PINKY:
 Uh, how are we gonna do that,
 Brain?

286
00:14:50,634 --> 00:14:53,300
BRAIN:
 The Racing Form, Pinky.

287
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,501
By analyzing
the velocity-based pace line,

288
00:14:57,501 --> 00:15:00,200
mile turf win,
and Beyer Speed Figures,

289
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,834
we'll find
a Grade 1 stakes claimer

290
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:05,367
who'll give us
a key-horse situation.

291
00:15:05,367 --> 00:15:07,534
Uh, can't we just ride
the pretty one?

292
00:15:08,801 --> 00:15:09,868
[WHINNIES]

293
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,567
[LAUGHS]

294
00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:14,334
Heavens, they're multiplying.

295
00:15:14,334 --> 00:15:16,067
[GIGGLES]

296
00:15:20,133 --> 00:15:22,067
This is a business trip, Pinky.

297
00:15:22,067 --> 00:15:24,067
Oh, right. Sorry, Brain.

298
00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:26,834
Here is our horse.

299
00:15:26,834 --> 00:15:28,801
"Daddy's Little Angel."

300
00:15:30,467 --> 00:15:32,033
[SNORTS]

301
00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:33,234
[EXHALES]

302
00:15:33,234 --> 00:15:36,434
Pinky, are you pondering
what I'm pondering?

303
00:15:36,434 --> 00:15:37,934
Well, I think so,
Brain,

304
00:15:37,934 --> 00:15:39,968
but isn't Regis Philbin
already married?

305
00:15:40,634 --> 00:15:41,968
The race, Pinky.

306
00:15:41,968 --> 00:15:44,901
By combining the statistics
and my low body weight,

307
00:15:44,901 --> 00:15:46,901
this horse cannot lose.

308
00:15:46,901 --> 00:15:49,067
The prize money will be ours.

309
00:15:49,067 --> 00:15:53,234
Now, I must take the place
of the real jockey.

310
00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:55,234
[***]

311
00:15:57,234 --> 00:15:59,234
[PHONE RINGING]

312
00:16:01,634 --> 00:16:03,267
Hello?

313
00:16:03,267 --> 00:16:06,234
Is this the jockey who's going
to ride Daddy's Little Angel?

314
00:16:06,234 --> 00:16:07,434
Yeah.

315
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:11,033
This is Ed McMahon for
Publishers Smearing House.

316
00:16:11,033 --> 00:16:13,634
You've just won $10,000,000.

317
00:16:13,634 --> 00:16:15,334
I won $10,000,000.

318
00:16:15,334 --> 00:16:17,334
I won $10,000,000!

319
00:16:17,334 --> 00:16:19,567
I am outta here! Later!

320
00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:20,901
Louie! Louie!

321
00:16:20,901 --> 00:16:22,534
Later!

322
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:26,501
Who's gonna ride my horse?

323
00:16:26,501 --> 00:16:28,000
I mean, Louie is the smallest,

324
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,033
lightest jockey
in the entire world.

325
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:32,100
BRAIN:
Not anymore.

326
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,400
[ALL GASP]

327
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,100
[***]

328
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,901
You're a jockey?

329
00:16:38,901 --> 00:16:41,367
Actually, I am a mouse
in the early stages

330
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:43,934
of an elaborate scheme
to take over the world.

331
00:16:43,934 --> 00:16:45,634
Well, fine.
We all need a hobby,

332
00:16:45,634 --> 00:16:48,133
but will you ride my horse?

333
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:51,634
I shall ride and win.

334
00:16:51,634 --> 00:16:53,467
Oh, thank you. Thank you!

335
00:16:53,467 --> 00:16:54,968
Let's weigh him in.

336
00:16:54,968 --> 00:16:56,534
Saddle, 7 pounds.

337
00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:00,267
Saddle and rider,
7 pounds, 3 ounces.

338
00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:03,434
A genetically perfect jockey.
This is fantastic.

339
00:17:03,434 --> 00:17:05,834
Let's look
into early retirement.

340
00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:08,100
[***]

341
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:10,601
Here come the horses,
ladies and gentlemen,

342
00:17:10,601 --> 00:17:13,300
[OVER SPEAKER]
 for the running
 of the Kentucky Derby.

343
00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:21,534
* Camptown races
Five miles long *

344
00:17:21,534 --> 00:17:24,000
* Doo-da, doo-da *

345
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,901
[***]

346
00:17:27,934 --> 00:17:30,400
Oh, isn't this exciting,
Brain?

347
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,467
Pinky,
what are you doing here?

348
00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:35,200
Your weight will disrupt
my winning calculations.

349
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,167
But, Brain,
it's too exciting. I--

350
00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:40,000
Oh, hello.

351
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000
[GIGGLES]

352
00:17:41,667 --> 00:17:43,167
[SIGHS]

353
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,000
[BUGLING "CHARGE"]

354
00:17:51,701 --> 00:17:53,367
Pinky, the race
is starting.

355
00:17:53,367 --> 00:17:54,434
[GUNSHOT]

356
00:17:54,434 --> 00:17:55,868
ANNOUNCER:
 And they're off!

357
00:17:55,868 --> 00:17:59,033
[***]

358
00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:00,467
Wow! Zort. Poit!

359
00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:02,367
[YELLS]

360
00:18:02,367 --> 00:18:06,567
* There's bologna
In our slacks *

361
00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:10,100
ANNOUNCER:
 On the inside corner
 it's Isle of Yap in the lead,

362
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:13,667
 followed by Flameel and Leggo
 My Egoiste on the inside rail.

363
00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,167
 And coming up strong
 on the outside

364
00:18:15,167 --> 00:18:16,734
 is Daddy's Little Angel.

365
00:18:16,734 --> 00:18:20,234
 And Phar Fignewton
 trails far behind.

366
00:18:20,234 --> 00:18:22,334
 On the backstretch,
 coming into the final turn,

367
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:23,834
 it's Isle of Yap, Flameel,

368
00:18:23,834 --> 00:18:25,834
 and Daddy's Little Angel
 is passing them all.

369
00:18:25,834 --> 00:18:27,567
Yah! Yah!

370
00:18:27,567 --> 00:18:29,133
[***]

371
00:18:29,133 --> 00:18:30,133
[RUMBLING]

372
00:18:33,534 --> 00:18:35,501
[SCREAMS]

373
00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:37,501
Zort! Oof!

374
00:18:37,501 --> 00:18:40,434
ANNOUNCER:
 And Daddy's Little Angel
 takes the lead by two lengths,

375
00:18:40,434 --> 00:18:43,033
 followed by Isle of Yap,
 Flameel, Leggo My Egoiste,

376
00:18:43,033 --> 00:18:46,467
 and way back there,
 Phar Fignewton.

377
00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:49,000
* Victory, she waits for me *

378
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,267
* Oh, the doo-da day *

379
00:18:52,801 --> 00:18:53,934
Huh?

380
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,300
[SCREAMS]

381
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,767
[***]

382
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:05,267
ANNOUNCER:
 Phar Fignewton is coming up
 like a rocket on the outside.

383
00:19:05,267 --> 00:19:08,467
 It's Daddy's Little Angel
 and Phar Fignewton.

384
00:19:08,467 --> 00:19:09,501
Oh, no.

385
00:19:09,501 --> 00:19:12,234
Yah! Yah! Yah!

386
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,000
[WHIMPERING]

387
00:19:17,801 --> 00:19:18,801
[YELPS]

388
00:19:20,334 --> 00:19:23,033
And at the wire,
it's Phar Fignewton.

389
00:19:23,033 --> 00:19:26,834
Phar Fignewton
wins it all!

390
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:31,501
In the words of the great
Willie Shoemaker, "Nuts!"

391
00:19:31,501 --> 00:19:33,501
[***]

392
00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:40,934
[HAMMERING]

393
00:19:42,634 --> 00:19:44,767
Pinky, will you
please stop that?

394
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,501
I'm trying to concentrate
on tomorrow night.

395
00:19:47,501 --> 00:19:48,834
Mwah. Why, Brain?

396
00:19:48,834 --> 00:19:50,501
What are we gonna do
tomorrow night?

397
00:19:50,501 --> 00:19:51,767
Guess.

398
00:19:51,767 --> 00:19:54,501
Oh, yeah. Trying to take over
the world. Right.

399
00:19:54,501 --> 00:19:56,801
 *They're dinky
 They're Pinky and the Brain *

400
00:19:56,801 --> 00:19:58,734
 * Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain *

401
00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:04,000
[***]

402
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:07,901
NARRATOR:
 And now, Dot's Poetry Corner.

403
00:20:07,901 --> 00:20:09,334
[CLEARS THROAT]

404
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:11,400
"Fuzzy Wuzzy."

405
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,901
 Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
 Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair

406
00:20:14,901 --> 00:20:16,701
 Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy

407
00:20:16,701 --> 00:20:18,667
 So he changed his name
 to Ed Asner

408
00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:20,133
Thank you.

409
00:20:20,133 --> 00:20:22,133
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

410
00:20:24,868 --> 00:20:28,667
NARRATOR:
 This has been another visit
 to Dot's Poetry Corner.

411
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,400
[***]

412
00:21:06,467 --> 00:21:07,868
Spew!