1 00:01:07,611 --> 00:01:09,211 SUSAN: And that's the news. 2 00:01:09,311 --> 00:01:14,212 But before we sign off, we'd like to congratulate our very own Evan Baxter, 3 00:01:14,312 --> 00:01:18,112 who has just been elected Buffalo's representative to Congress. 4 00:01:18,212 --> 00:01:19,512 And, now, we have a surprise for Evan. 5 00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:21,213 No, you don't. We do. 6 00:01:21,213 --> 00:01:24,113 Oh, no. I really didn't expect this. 7 00:01:24,213 --> 00:01:26,414 Here's a look back at his run for office. 8 00:01:26,814 --> 00:01:28,214 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 9 00:01:29,114 --> 00:01:30,214 What are we gonna do? 10 00:01:30,314 --> 00:01:31,714 ALL: Change the world! 11 00:01:31,814 --> 00:01:32,815 That's right! 12 00:01:33,515 --> 00:01:35,015 (ALL CHEERING) 13 00:01:40,116 --> 00:01:42,116 ALL: Baxter! Baxter! Baxter! 14 00:01:49,117 --> 00:01:50,117 Hi. 15 00:01:50,217 --> 00:01:51,618 ALL: Baxter! Baxter! 16 00:01:51,618 --> 00:01:53,118 That's right! 17 00:01:55,318 --> 00:01:56,318 (CLEARING THROAT) 18 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:01,819 I feel like that old Indian in front of all the garbage. 19 00:02:03,319 --> 00:02:08,320 So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter for Eyewitness News. Good night. 20 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:11,621 (HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN PLAYING) 21 00:02:24,923 --> 00:02:28,123 GPS: Huntsville, Virginia. Prestige Crest, four miles. 22 00:02:28,223 --> 00:02:29,724 What did we do before GPS? 23 00:02:29,824 --> 00:02:30,824 Nothing. 24 00:02:30,924 --> 00:02:33,124 Guys, Dad's very proud of his new car. 25 00:02:33,124 --> 00:02:37,825 Hey, I am proud of my new car. Look, I'm a politician now. 26 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,725 I'm in the public eye, and as you know, when you are in the public eye, 27 00:02:40,825 --> 00:02:42,526 image is everything, isn't it? 28 00:02:47,526 --> 00:02:50,427 EVAN: Here it is! Welcome to the good life. 29 00:02:50,427 --> 00:02:53,827 Hey, guys, why the long faces? We're off on a new adventure! 30 00:02:54,828 --> 00:02:57,028 It's just we're going to miss our friends. 31 00:02:57,028 --> 00:02:58,928 You'll make new friends, better friends. 32 00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,128 Yeah, richer friends. 33 00:03:00,228 --> 00:03:04,029 Do not mouth off to me, sir. I am the boss of you. 34 00:03:04,129 --> 00:03:06,729 And let me tell you something, you guys are gonna love this place. 35 00:03:07,329 --> 00:03:10,430 And you know what? I think there's something for our fishermen up there. 36 00:03:11,630 --> 00:03:14,731 EVAN: Baxter family, this is what's called a scenic vista. 37 00:03:14,831 --> 00:03:18,631 And I don't think the big man himself could do a better job. Pretty cool, huh? 38 00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:20,532 Hey, Dad, an iguana can stay underwater for 28 minutes. 39 00:03:20,632 --> 00:03:21,632 What's that? 40 00:03:21,732 --> 00:03:23,532 And a shrimp's heart is in its head. Really? 41 00:03:23,632 --> 00:03:25,832 Okay, someone's had enough Animal Planet for one lifetime. 42 00:03:25,932 --> 00:03:27,833 Yeah, let's head out! Come on. The best is yet to come! 43 00:03:29,633 --> 00:03:32,333 EVAN: Gentlemen, I have saved the best for last. 44 00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:35,934 Look over to the right. That is your new home. 45 00:03:42,235 --> 00:03:43,235 RYAN: Whoa! 46 00:03:43,335 --> 00:03:44,535 JORDAN: That's our house? 47 00:03:44,635 --> 00:03:46,636 Uh-huh. JOAN: I don't remember it being 48 00:03:46,736 --> 00:03:48,036 Was it this big in the brochure? 49 00:03:48,136 --> 00:03:49,336 EVAN: Pretty amazing, isn't it? 50 00:03:49,436 --> 00:03:51,036 There they are! 51 00:03:52,537 --> 00:03:54,637 Is this curb appeal or what? 52 00:03:54,737 --> 00:03:56,237 Here we go! 53 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:57,837 Honey, I think you're blocking my photo. 54 00:03:57,937 --> 00:03:58,938 Sorry. 55 00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:01,038 All right, everybody! Say "escrow"! 56 00:04:01,138 --> 00:04:02,938 ALL: Escrow! 57 00:04:04,138 --> 00:04:06,839 RYAN: Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Go. Go. Go. 58 00:04:07,439 --> 00:04:09,339 EVAN: Guys, easy. 59 00:04:09,739 --> 00:04:11,240 (CHILDREN EXCLAIMING) 60 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:12,940 This is our house? 61 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,040 Uh-huh. 62 00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:16,140 MAN: Careful! 63 00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:18,041 JOAN: Honey, be careful! EVAN: Watch it! 64 00:04:18,141 --> 00:04:19,241 Are you kidding me? 65 00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:20,541 Mom, can we go upstairs? JOAN: Yep. 66 00:04:20,641 --> 00:04:22,041 And I get my own room, right? Yep. 67 00:04:22,141 --> 00:04:23,542 (YELLING EXCITEDLY) 68 00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:26,142 Mr. Baxter, could you give us some direction on these kitchen cabinets? 69 00:04:26,242 --> 00:04:27,242 Sure. 70 00:04:27,242 --> 00:04:31,843 Okay, it's between your maple and your old-growth Brazilian cherry. 71 00:04:31,943 --> 00:04:33,843 That is nice! Which is best? 72 00:04:33,843 --> 00:04:36,944 Well, if you're not sensitive to that "save the rainforest" stuff, 73 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,444 you can't beat the Brazilian cherry. 74 00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:39,744 It's 200, 300 years old. 75 00:04:39,744 --> 00:04:41,344 Three hundred years. Three hundred. 76 00:04:41,344 --> 00:04:42,945 Wow. That is old. 77 00:04:42,945 --> 00:04:45,245 And now you are going to hold my dishes. 78 00:04:45,345 --> 00:04:47,045 That's right. You going with the cherry? Cheery cherry! 79 00:04:47,145 --> 00:04:48,645 Yeah. Definitely. He's going with the cherry! 80 00:04:49,846 --> 00:04:50,946 RYAN: Dad, look! 81 00:04:51,046 --> 00:04:52,346 No, no, no! 82 00:04:52,346 --> 00:04:54,846 Ryan, do not touch him, please! 83 00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:56,447 Oh, no, no, no, no, get him away! 84 00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,847 No. He might have lice, fleas, maggots or something. 85 00:04:58,847 --> 00:05:01,648 You do not play with stray dogs because they are very... 86 00:05:01,748 --> 00:05:04,048 No, no! Get away, get away! Go! 87 00:05:04,748 --> 00:05:06,248 Okay. Oh, no, no, no. 88 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:07,748 He's thirsty. No, no, no. 89 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:10,749 No, you don't! There we go. 90 00:05:10,749 --> 00:05:12,449 Well, Ryan, he's a stray. 91 00:05:12,449 --> 00:05:13,949 If we give him water, he's just going to come back. 92 00:05:14,049 --> 00:05:17,550 Come on, Dad, why can't we keep him? I mean, we've got a new house. 93 00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:19,550 Okay, Ryan, this is why we can't keep him. 94 00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:22,251 They are stinky. They are smelly. They get hair all over the place. 95 00:05:22,351 --> 00:05:23,551 They get a little thing called the mange. 96 00:05:23,651 --> 00:05:26,651 In a nutshell, he is disgusting. Case in point. 97 00:05:27,152 --> 00:05:29,052 (BOTH GIGGLING) 98 00:05:31,552 --> 00:05:34,853 EVAN: Ladies and gentlemen, this concludes day one 99 00:05:34,953 --> 00:05:36,453 of the Baxters' new and exciting life. 100 00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,853 I have to do the new house dance. 101 00:05:38,953 --> 00:05:41,454 Wow! That dance? 102 00:05:41,554 --> 00:05:43,054 Mmm-hmm. That's a good new house dance. 103 00:05:43,154 --> 00:05:44,454 Thank you. 104 00:05:44,454 --> 00:05:46,655 You know, those boys were having so much fun tonight, 105 00:05:46,755 --> 00:05:48,755 I thought I would never get them to bed. 106 00:05:48,755 --> 00:05:53,456 And then Ryan did the cutest thing. He asked if we could all pray together. 107 00:05:53,956 --> 00:05:56,556 Really? What did you pray about? 108 00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,657 He met a dog. What do you think he prayed for? 109 00:05:58,757 --> 00:06:00,657 (EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST) 110 00:06:00,657 --> 00:06:03,457 Just a walking petri dish, that dog. 111 00:06:03,557 --> 00:06:05,758 And Jordan was very precise. 112 00:06:05,758 --> 00:06:09,558 He prayed for good visibility, good weather on the hiking trip tomorrow. 113 00:06:09,658 --> 00:06:12,959 The hiking trip? Oh, right. Yeah. The hiking trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 114 00:06:13,059 --> 00:06:14,959 You wanna know what I prayed for? 115 00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:16,859 Yeah. What did you pray for? 116 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:20,060 I prayed we would become closer as a family. 117 00:06:21,260 --> 00:06:25,761 Honey, you don't need to pray for that to happen. I will make that happen. 118 00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:26,761 (SIGHING) 119 00:06:27,261 --> 00:06:28,961 What would you pray for? 120 00:06:28,961 --> 00:06:31,562 Me? I don't know. Praying just... 121 00:06:32,362 --> 00:06:33,362 (SIGHING) 122 00:06:33,462 --> 00:06:37,263 Honey, you're the one who said you wanted to change the world. 123 00:06:37,763 --> 00:06:39,663 It's a pretty big job. 124 00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:42,263 If it were me, I would take all the help I could get. 125 00:06:45,364 --> 00:06:47,764 (CROWD CHEERING) 126 00:06:47,864 --> 00:06:50,965 WOMAN OVER TV: Former Buffalo News anchor, Evan Baxter, takes office tomorrow 127 00:06:51,065 --> 00:06:53,365 to make good on a lofty campaign promise. 128 00:06:53,465 --> 00:06:54,565 What are we going to do? 129 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:55,966 ALL: Change the world! 130 00:06:55,966 --> 00:06:59,466 WOMAN OVER TV: Good luck, Congressman. Many have tried, many have failed. 131 00:06:59,566 --> 00:07:00,766 Hello! 132 00:07:00,766 --> 00:07:02,667 This is Regina Sparks reporting for... 133 00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:07,567 (SIGHING) 134 00:07:19,069 --> 00:07:20,069 (CLEARING THROAT) 135 00:07:20,169 --> 00:07:21,970 Hello, there. Hi. 136 00:07:23,070 --> 00:07:25,370 This is Evan Baxter. 137 00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:29,471 Just wanted to say thank you for everything. 138 00:07:29,471 --> 00:07:33,371 Thank you for the new car and for the house. 139 00:07:33,371 --> 00:07:36,372 The house is great. I love it. 140 00:07:36,972 --> 00:07:41,773 I mean, I picked it out, but you created matter and everything, so... 141 00:07:44,973 --> 00:07:48,774 I just wanted to say that I think Joan makes a good point, 142 00:07:48,874 --> 00:07:53,375 and that I am now in a position of great power, 143 00:07:53,475 --> 00:07:57,275 and I know that with great power comes great responsibility. 144 00:07:59,476 --> 00:08:01,576 So, God, 145 00:08:01,676 --> 00:08:02,676 (CLEARING THROAT) 146 00:08:05,477 --> 00:08:07,877 Please help me change the world. 147 00:08:09,777 --> 00:08:12,678 Okay. That's it. I'm hanging up now. 148 00:08:13,578 --> 00:08:16,078 God bless... Well, you. Okay. 149 00:08:32,281 --> 00:08:34,081 (ALARM RINGING) 150 00:08:39,082 --> 00:08:41,182 What? That's weird. 151 00:08:41,282 --> 00:08:42,282 What? 152 00:08:42,382 --> 00:08:43,983 I set the alarm for 7:00. 153 00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:48,483 (MOTOR WHIRRING) 154 00:08:50,584 --> 00:08:52,684 (GRUNTING) 155 00:08:53,984 --> 00:08:54,984 (SNEEZING) 156 00:08:55,084 --> 00:08:56,685 (GRUNTING) 157 00:09:18,188 --> 00:09:20,188 I am successful. I am powerful. I am handsome. 158 00:09:20,288 --> 00:09:22,889 I am happy, successful, powerful, handsome, happy. 159 00:09:23,989 --> 00:09:29,290 All right, everyone, wish me luck. The Congressman has left the building. 160 00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:34,191 All right, Baxter brood, I will see you later on this afternoon for the big hike. Yes? 161 00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:35,491 EVAN: You psyched? Are you ready? 162 00:09:35,591 --> 00:09:36,591 ALL: Yeah. 163 00:09:36,691 --> 00:09:37,891 Bye. See you. Good luck, honey. 164 00:09:37,991 --> 00:09:39,191 Bye, guys! See you later. 165 00:09:39,191 --> 00:09:40,191 Later, gator. 166 00:09:41,192 --> 00:09:42,192 (EXCLAIMING) 167 00:09:42,292 --> 00:09:43,592 Oh, gosh. 168 00:09:43,592 --> 00:09:46,392 Wow. Honey, did you order anything? 169 00:09:46,893 --> 00:09:48,893 "Alpha and Omega Hardware"? 170 00:09:48,893 --> 00:09:49,893 JOAN: Never heard of them. 171 00:09:49,993 --> 00:09:51,193 Me either. 172 00:09:51,893 --> 00:09:53,594 What do we have? 173 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:54,994 (GASPING) 174 00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:56,494 What is this stuff? 175 00:09:58,094 --> 00:09:59,695 Must have the wrong address. 176 00:10:00,195 --> 00:10:02,395 Yup. The wrong address. 177 00:10:05,195 --> 00:10:07,196 WOMAN: Congressman Baxter. Good morning. 178 00:10:07,196 --> 00:10:08,696 MAN 1: Good morning, Congressman Baxter. 179 00:10:08,796 --> 00:10:11,196 MAN 2: Good morning, Congressman Baxter. 180 00:10:11,296 --> 00:10:14,297 Oh, this is so cool. 181 00:10:16,397 --> 00:10:17,397 Uh-huh. 182 00:10:17,497 --> 00:10:19,298 Yeah. This'll work. 183 00:10:19,398 --> 00:10:23,298 There he is! The head honcho. The big kahuna. 184 00:10:23,398 --> 00:10:25,299 Rita, I think I have to do the dance. 185 00:10:25,399 --> 00:10:26,599 Do the dance. 186 00:10:26,599 --> 00:10:27,999 (GRUNTING) 187 00:10:30,199 --> 00:10:31,500 That's enough of the dance. 188 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,700 Oh, this is nice! This is really nice! 189 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,400 This is too nice. There's something crooked going on. 190 00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:37,701 Do you smell anthrax? 191 00:10:37,801 --> 00:10:39,701 Congressman! Hey, Marty! 192 00:10:39,801 --> 00:10:41,201 Nice sound to that. I like it. 193 00:10:41,301 --> 00:10:42,201 Here they are! 194 00:10:42,301 --> 00:10:43,301 (ALL CHEERING) 195 00:10:43,501 --> 00:10:44,502 All right. 196 00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,302 You remember Sarah, Allen, Michael. 197 00:10:46,402 --> 00:10:49,102 I don't think you know the new kid Eugene Tennanbaum. I found him at G.W. 198 00:10:49,202 --> 00:10:52,303 Sort of a walking search engine. Watch this. How many stars on the flag in 1818? 199 00:10:52,403 --> 00:10:53,403 15. 200 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,403 And Congressman Baxter's coffee habits? 201 00:10:55,403 --> 00:10:58,504 He likes a morning latte with a cruller, a decaf espresso after lunch, 202 00:10:58,604 --> 00:11:00,204 served sans pastry of any kind. 203 00:11:00,304 --> 00:11:02,905 Very impressive. A little freaky, but I like this kid. 204 00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,605 (LAUGHING) I love you. 205 00:11:05,605 --> 00:11:06,605 Hmm? 206 00:11:07,105 --> 00:11:10,606 I mean, we should hang out socially. I just got a ping-pong table. 207 00:11:10,706 --> 00:11:12,206 Not going to happen. 208 00:11:12,306 --> 00:11:15,507 Go find out where his license plates are. Everybody else, back to your holes. 209 00:11:15,607 --> 00:11:16,607 EUGENE: He was actually right. 210 00:11:16,707 --> 00:11:18,507 I'm doing a background check on that kid. 211 00:11:18,707 --> 00:11:23,308 Ta-da! This, my friend, is a power office, to remind you of the mission! 212 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,808 BOTH: "Change the world!" 213 00:11:24,808 --> 00:11:26,608 Okay, Evan, who do you know? What do you mean? 214 00:11:26,608 --> 00:11:28,609 Oh, come on. Yesterday we're in the basement. 215 00:11:28,709 --> 00:11:30,509 Today, look at this place. It's like the Emerald City! 216 00:11:30,609 --> 00:11:33,909 "Enjoy your office. Your neighbor, Congressman Long." 217 00:11:33,909 --> 00:11:36,210 Congressman Long did this? Did you say "neighbor"? 218 00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:39,110 That's right. He lives in Prestige Crest, right up the street. 219 00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:43,011 Evan, you got to tell me these things. Think of the publicity angle on this! 220 00:11:43,111 --> 00:11:45,511 You and Congressman Long having a barbecue. 221 00:11:45,611 --> 00:11:47,512 Congressman Long eating your hot dog. 222 00:11:47,612 --> 00:11:49,212 RITA: Hate to break up your little weenie roast. 223 00:11:49,312 --> 00:11:52,012 Congressman Long's assistant just dropped this off. 224 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,413 The Congressman would like for you 225 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,713 to junior cosponsor this bill that he's introducing. 226 00:11:55,813 --> 00:12:00,114 Hold on. Congressman Long asked us to junior cosponsor his bill? What's the bill? 227 00:12:00,214 --> 00:12:02,814 The Citizens' Integration of Public Lands Act. 228 00:12:02,814 --> 00:12:06,115 Never heard of it. Gene, here, now. Rita, why didn't you tell me about this? 229 00:12:06,215 --> 00:12:07,315 I just did. 230 00:12:07,315 --> 00:12:09,015 You need to tell me about it before I need to know about it. 231 00:12:09,115 --> 00:12:11,215 Marty, you are not the vice congressman. I am the legislative... 232 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:15,116 Nobody voted for you. If Evan gets shot in the head, you do not automatically... 233 00:12:15,216 --> 00:12:17,116 If Evan got shot in the head, you're the first suspect. 234 00:12:17,116 --> 00:12:18,216 Play nice. Play nice. 235 00:12:18,316 --> 00:12:20,317 All right, Eugene, Congressman Long's bill. What is it? 236 00:12:20,417 --> 00:12:23,417 HR7124, better known as CINPLAN. 237 00:12:23,517 --> 00:12:26,218 The bill would open up fringe areas of the national parks for development. 238 00:12:26,318 --> 00:12:27,618 Long's been sitting on it for ages... 239 00:12:27,718 --> 00:12:29,818 Got it. Pause. Come on, Evan, this is huge. 240 00:12:29,818 --> 00:12:31,319 You hitch your wagon to the right star, 241 00:12:31,319 --> 00:12:33,619 you could ride all the way down to Pennsylvania Avenue. 242 00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:35,019 This is day one. 243 00:12:35,119 --> 00:12:37,319 You got your name on a major piece of legislation! 244 00:12:37,319 --> 00:12:40,320 Oh, and another thing, he wants you to read it today. 245 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,020 Well, I can't do it today. 246 00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:43,220 I promised my kids... Eugene. 247 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,221 Well, sir, there's a time clock on the bill. 248 00:12:45,221 --> 00:12:47,321 If Congressman Long wants to pass it this quarter, 249 00:12:47,421 --> 00:12:49,521 he's going to have to introduce it to the committee immediately. 250 00:12:49,621 --> 00:12:52,222 I'm personally going with whatever Congressman Baxter decides, 251 00:12:52,322 --> 00:12:55,222 because if I could be like one man, it'd be him. 252 00:12:55,322 --> 00:12:56,622 Either him or Kareem. 253 00:12:56,723 --> 00:12:57,823 Can I tase him? 254 00:12:57,823 --> 00:12:58,923 Gene! Heel! 255 00:12:59,023 --> 00:13:00,423 It'd probably be you. 256 00:13:00,523 --> 00:13:04,224 Come on, Evan, this is it! This is why we came here! 257 00:13:04,324 --> 00:13:06,224 It's world-changing time! 258 00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:08,324 (EXCLAIMING) 259 00:13:09,124 --> 00:13:10,425 Hey, anybody home? 260 00:13:10,425 --> 00:13:11,825 Come on. We're in here! 261 00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,625 Hey, guys. 262 00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:17,426 Dad, guess what? I got all your stuff packed up so that we can... 263 00:13:18,826 --> 00:13:19,926 What's wrong? 264 00:13:21,126 --> 00:13:22,527 We're not going, are we? 265 00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:27,527 First things first. I have been asked to junior cosponsor a bill. 266 00:13:28,227 --> 00:13:29,228 Yeah. 267 00:13:29,328 --> 00:13:31,728 See? I told you. And you owe me five bucks. 268 00:13:31,828 --> 00:13:33,228 Whoa, whoa, guys. 269 00:13:33,328 --> 00:13:36,129 Hey. Hey, we said we would have to make sacrifices, right? 270 00:13:36,229 --> 00:13:38,529 DYLAN: Yeah. Whatever. New house, same old dad. 271 00:13:38,629 --> 00:13:40,629 Hey, I'm the one who has to read this thing! 272 00:13:40,729 --> 00:13:45,030 Hey. Did you hear? Junior cosponsor of a bill. 273 00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:51,031 Okay, Ry, let's clean all this stuff up. Dad's got work to do. 274 00:14:07,134 --> 00:14:08,234 (ALARM RINGING) 275 00:14:08,334 --> 00:14:10,634 No. It's 6:14. 276 00:14:10,734 --> 00:14:14,635 Of course. Voodoo clock speaks again. 277 00:14:22,136 --> 00:14:23,236 What the... 278 00:14:24,236 --> 00:14:28,537 Hey! Hey! Hey! No. Okay. 279 00:14:28,637 --> 00:14:31,637 Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa! What's going on? 280 00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:34,038 I got a delivery for Evan Baxter! 281 00:14:34,038 --> 00:14:35,938 Yeah, that's not mine. I didn't order that! 282 00:14:35,938 --> 00:14:39,739 I just deliver, guy, huh? You got a complaint, call the number! 283 00:14:39,739 --> 00:14:43,739 No! Hey! Listen! We are 416, not 614! 284 00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:48,140 You've got the wrong house! You can't leave that there! 285 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,741 Listen! Listen! 286 00:14:50,741 --> 00:14:52,941 That's going to leave a brown patch! 287 00:14:53,741 --> 00:14:55,841 I am a U.S. Congressman! 288 00:14:56,341 --> 00:14:58,542 (MAN CHATTERING ON TV) 289 00:15:05,043 --> 00:15:06,543 (PHONE RINGING) 290 00:15:08,243 --> 00:15:09,744 Dad, what are you doing? I'm watching this. 291 00:15:09,944 --> 00:15:11,444 Genesis 6:14. 292 00:15:15,444 --> 00:15:16,845 Gen 6:14. 293 00:15:17,445 --> 00:15:19,245 Joan! Do we have a Bible anywhere? 294 00:15:28,146 --> 00:15:29,647 Genesis 6:14. 295 00:15:29,647 --> 00:15:32,147 "Make thee an ark of gopher wood..." 296 00:15:32,847 --> 00:15:34,147 Gopher wood. 297 00:15:47,349 --> 00:15:49,250 GOD: "Go-four-wood." Get it? 298 00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:56,751 Well, it's not really gopher wood. I just like the wordplay. 299 00:15:56,751 --> 00:15:58,151 No, it's pine and maple. 300 00:15:58,251 --> 00:16:01,752 It was clear-cut from this valley to make room for all those houses. 301 00:16:01,752 --> 00:16:03,452 Excuse me. Do I know you? 302 00:16:03,552 --> 00:16:05,052 Not as well as I'd like. 303 00:16:06,953 --> 00:16:09,453 I see you got my housewarming gift. 304 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:12,053 That was you? You sent those? 305 00:16:12,153 --> 00:16:14,754 What are they for? Hey! Hey. 306 00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:17,454 Genesis, chapter six, verse fourteen. 307 00:16:17,854 --> 00:16:19,455 I want you to build an ark. 308 00:16:19,555 --> 00:16:21,855 You want me to build an ark. 309 00:16:21,955 --> 00:16:23,155 Yes. 310 00:16:23,155 --> 00:16:28,256 So that's why the tools. And you are responsible for the wood? 311 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,356 All right. Well, let's just start over. 312 00:16:31,756 --> 00:16:32,857 (CLEARING THROAT) 313 00:16:32,857 --> 00:16:34,557 Hello, I am Evan... 314 00:16:34,557 --> 00:16:38,157 Evan Baxter. Born June 15, 1962. 315 00:16:38,257 --> 00:16:39,658 Eight pounds, 11 ounces. 316 00:16:39,758 --> 00:16:43,258 Mother's Carroll Ann Parker. Father, Eugene Evan Baxter. 317 00:16:43,258 --> 00:16:44,358 (EXCLAIMING) 318 00:16:44,458 --> 00:16:47,159 You have internet access. Very impressive. Do you also have cable? 319 00:16:47,259 --> 00:16:50,659 You're a clean freak. You care much too much about your outward appearance. 320 00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:53,360 Your left nipple is a quarter inch higher than your right nipple. 321 00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:56,460 And when you were a little boy, you were afraid of Gumby. 322 00:16:57,961 --> 00:16:59,061 Who are you? 323 00:17:00,361 --> 00:17:01,561 I'm God. 324 00:17:02,061 --> 00:17:03,261 You're God? 325 00:17:03,261 --> 00:17:08,562 Yes. And I want you, Evan Baxter, to build an ark. 326 00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:14,663 Okay. You know what? This conversation is a little thing I like to call over! 327 00:17:14,763 --> 00:17:19,664 But I got to get going, because, frankly, I have an ark to build. 328 00:17:19,764 --> 00:17:23,765 Busy, busy, busy, busy. Nice meeting you. Take care. Oh, and... 329 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:30,466 All right, see you later! 330 00:17:32,966 --> 00:17:36,267 Shake it off, Evan. It's over. The nutcase is gone. 331 00:17:36,367 --> 00:17:39,567 I am successful, I'm powerful, I'm handsome, I'm happy. 332 00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:41,868 Successful, powerful, handsome, happy. 333 00:17:41,968 --> 00:17:43,068 (SCREAMING) 334 00:17:43,168 --> 00:17:45,468 Get it out, son. It's the beginning of wisdom. 335 00:17:45,568 --> 00:17:47,668 How did you get in here? I'm calling the cops. 336 00:17:47,668 --> 00:17:50,669 Oh, no. No need! Look! Look. There's one right there. Right there. 337 00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:56,170 Officer! Officer! Officer! Carjacker! Carjacker in the car! Carjacker in the car! 338 00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:59,070 (GASPING) 339 00:17:59,970 --> 00:18:03,271 Careful pulling out. Pedestrian in the crosswalk. 340 00:18:07,472 --> 00:18:09,072 (EXCLAIMING IN DISBELIEF) 341 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,172 (CAR HONKING) 342 00:18:12,272 --> 00:18:13,272 (TIRES SCREECHING) 343 00:18:13,773 --> 00:18:15,373 (STAMMERING) 344 00:18:22,874 --> 00:18:23,074 (ELEVATOR BELL RINGING) 345 00:18:33,876 --> 00:18:34,876 (EXCLAIMS) 346 00:18:35,076 --> 00:18:36,776 Shake it off, shake it off! Shake it off, shake it off! 347 00:18:40,977 --> 00:18:42,077 Good morning, chief! 348 00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:43,077 (EXCLAIMING) 349 00:18:43,177 --> 00:18:44,377 Good morning, Rita. 350 00:18:44,377 --> 00:18:46,978 You almost scared me to death! What's wrong with you? 351 00:18:47,078 --> 00:18:48,978 Nothing. Just sort of a weird ride in. 352 00:18:49,078 --> 00:18:50,078 Weird how? 353 00:18:50,178 --> 00:18:51,579 It was just a weird ride in. 354 00:18:51,879 --> 00:18:53,679 Okay, well, thanks for clarifying. 355 00:18:55,079 --> 00:18:57,179 Here's your mail and your schedule. Okay. 356 00:18:57,279 --> 00:19:00,580 And they finally fixed the phones. My new extension is 614. 357 00:19:02,980 --> 00:19:03,980 614. 358 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,381 Yeah. 614? 359 00:19:05,481 --> 00:19:06,581 Right. 360 00:19:07,381 --> 00:19:08,781 You want me to write that down? 361 00:19:09,881 --> 00:19:11,682 I'd rather you didn't. 362 00:19:12,982 --> 00:19:13,982 MARTY: Good morning. 363 00:19:14,082 --> 00:19:16,582 Hey, Long came through with that seat on the House Resource Committee. 364 00:19:16,682 --> 00:19:19,183 You stuck in your thumb and pulled out a plum, my friend. 365 00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,183 Also, the new Congressional plates just came in. 366 00:19:21,283 --> 00:19:24,684 Gene, plates, now. And Alex at the Buffalo office had her baby. 367 00:19:24,784 --> 00:19:26,584 Boy or girl? A little boy. And here he is. 368 00:19:26,584 --> 00:19:29,785 Just as cute as a button. Not bad for such an ugly woman. Weighed in at... 369 00:19:29,885 --> 00:19:31,585 Six pounds, 14 ounces. 370 00:19:32,385 --> 00:19:33,585 How'd you know that? 371 00:19:33,685 --> 00:19:34,685 Lucky guess. 372 00:19:34,785 --> 00:19:35,786 (EXCLAIMING) 373 00:19:35,886 --> 00:19:40,786 Hot, hot, hot! Hot off the press! It's a joke. Here are your plates, sir. 374 00:19:40,886 --> 00:19:41,886 (GASPS) 375 00:19:41,986 --> 00:19:44,187 MARTY: Those are rock-star plates, man. You can park anywhere. 376 00:19:44,187 --> 00:19:45,287 You can't be sitting in a chair. 377 00:19:45,387 --> 00:19:46,887 You've got a committee meeting in five minutes. 378 00:19:46,887 --> 00:19:51,888 Come on, BMIC, Big Man in Congress. Evan Baxter, the shark on the move. 379 00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:59,089 (HAMMER POUNDING) 380 00:19:59,189 --> 00:20:01,390 MAN: House Resources Committee is now in order. 381 00:20:01,390 --> 00:20:03,590 The Chair recognizes the congresswoman from Tennessee 382 00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:06,190 to lead the Pledge of Allegiance. 383 00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,390 CONGRESSWOMAN: I pledge allegiance to the flag... 384 00:20:07,491 --> 00:20:08,791 ALL: I pledge allegiance to the flag 385 00:20:08,891 --> 00:20:11,591 of the United States of America 386 00:20:11,691 --> 00:20:15,292 and to the Republic, for which it stands... 387 00:20:15,292 --> 00:20:17,292 ...one nation, under me... ALL: One nation, under God... 388 00:20:17,292 --> 00:20:21,493 ALL: Indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. 389 00:20:22,993 --> 00:20:26,293 How long do you want to do this, son? I've got all eternity. 390 00:20:29,694 --> 00:20:30,994 (ALL GASPING) 391 00:20:31,094 --> 00:20:32,394 (CLAMORING) 392 00:20:35,195 --> 00:20:36,895 (WHISTLING) 393 00:20:36,995 --> 00:20:39,496 Hey. You okay, young man? 394 00:20:41,296 --> 00:20:42,596 What happened? You fainted. 395 00:20:42,696 --> 00:20:44,496 Dropped like a leaf during the Pledge of Allegiance. 396 00:20:44,596 --> 00:20:47,097 Chuck Long, Resources Committee Chairman. 397 00:20:47,197 --> 00:20:50,797 Oh. Oh. Congressman Long. Yes. Oh, I'm so sorry about... 398 00:20:50,897 --> 00:20:54,998 Forget it! Many a man's been humbled by his first day in Congress. 399 00:20:54,998 --> 00:20:56,398 So, how'd you like that office? 400 00:20:56,498 --> 00:20:58,399 Oh, it was great. Yes. Thank you, sir. 401 00:20:58,499 --> 00:21:00,599 Not bad for a freshman dorm room, huh? 402 00:21:01,499 --> 00:21:02,699 So here's the skinny. 403 00:21:02,699 --> 00:21:04,800 I'm bringing you into my land use bill 404 00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:08,000 because you strike me as the type of guy who knows how to hit the ground running. 405 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,601 Yes, sir. I read the bill, and it's great. I just had a few questions. 406 00:21:11,701 --> 00:21:13,801 Hey, I wrote the thing and I have a few questions. 407 00:21:13,901 --> 00:21:17,101 We'll get to the questions later. So, you with us? 408 00:21:17,202 --> 00:21:18,702 Yes, sir. I'm in. Wonderful! 409 00:21:18,802 --> 00:21:20,802 I'll need you to put that into a letter of intent, 410 00:21:20,902 --> 00:21:23,202 as soon as you're feeling up to it, of course. You get yourself better. 411 00:21:23,302 --> 00:21:24,803 Enjoy that office. 412 00:21:24,803 --> 00:21:26,203 Thank you, sir. 413 00:21:26,303 --> 00:21:30,904 He's exhausted from reading that bill. I got woozy from just carrying it. 414 00:21:30,904 --> 00:21:32,304 Evan, sit down. 415 00:21:32,404 --> 00:21:33,404 Evan, what happened to you? 416 00:21:33,404 --> 00:21:35,704 You can't faint during the Pledge of Allegiance. It's un-American. 417 00:21:35,804 --> 00:21:37,105 Oh, good. The doctor's here. 418 00:21:37,105 --> 00:21:38,205 Say "ah." 419 00:21:38,205 --> 00:21:39,605 (GASPING) 420 00:21:39,605 --> 00:21:43,706 Just go home, get some rest and start on that ark. You hear me? 421 00:21:43,806 --> 00:21:44,906 (CHUCKLES) 422 00:21:50,007 --> 00:21:51,007 Evan? 423 00:21:51,707 --> 00:21:55,908 O.K. God warned noah about the great flood was coming... 424 00:21:56,008 --> 00:21:59,308 Noah build the ark for his wife and 3 sons... 425 00:22:00,508 --> 00:22:02,409 (CHATTERING) 426 00:22:03,609 --> 00:22:07,609 The ark was 300 qubics long and 50 qubics high 427 00:22:07,809 --> 00:22:09,710 (DOOR OPEN) Heyyy! 428 00:22:09,910 --> 00:22:11,810 What are you doing? Hmmm... 429 00:22:12,010 --> 00:22:13,410 Going over Todd's Bill? 430 00:22:13,410 --> 00:22:16,211 Yea...That's what i was looking at... Oh man... 431 00:22:16,211 --> 00:22:19,511 ...there's a lot... ...a lot of research to do on it 432 00:22:20,211 --> 00:22:23,212 You know David, you have every right to be freaked out 433 00:22:23,312 --> 00:22:25,312 I'm not freaked out, why would i be freaked out? 434 00:22:25,412 --> 00:22:29,413 I'm freaking out, because of the future just listen you just got a new job ... 435 00:22:29,513 --> 00:22:33,614 ...and then with this freaking bill your working on... ...sofort and on and on... 436 00:22:34,714 --> 00:22:36,714 The name is stressed 437 00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:39,815 Oh no honey, i've known you 20 years... ...i know your stressed 438 00:22:43,215 --> 00:22:45,315 (KIDS CHATTERING) 439 00:22:46,316 --> 00:22:48,716 They're getting to much sugar in they're blood 440 00:22:49,216 --> 00:22:52,317 Thank you honey -O.K. 441 00:22:53,517 --> 00:22:55,417 She's right This is cracy 442 00:22:55,617 --> 00:22:57,717 I'm just stressed and you are gone 443 00:23:03,318 --> 00:23:05,519 Good Morning 444 00:23:05,719 --> 00:23:06,319 Good Morning 445 00:23:06,419 --> 00:23:09,219 Good Morning, how are you? 446 00:23:09,319 --> 00:23:11,320 Somebody is in a good mood 447 00:23:11,620 --> 00:23:16,120 I am, i thought about what you said and you're right, i need to get my head on straight 448 00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:19,621 Guess what? this weekend we're going on a Hike-ing trip 449 00:23:19,721 --> 00:23:22,521 Hurray... Yeeaa... high five it We're going on a hiking trip 450 00:23:22,821 --> 00:23:24,822 We're gonna have a rightess hiking trip 451 00:23:24,922 --> 00:23:26,822 Hey dad look! 2 doves that's supose to be good luck 452 00:23:27,222 --> 00:23:29,922 Well today must be my lucky day 453 00:23:30,323 --> 00:23:33,023 Bye guys Bye bye 454 00:23:34,423 --> 00:23:38,224 Good morning kitty Keep moving... break it up 455 00:23:53,126 --> 00:23:56,927 Hey! When you're on my lawn keep it in your pot! 456 00:24:02,528 --> 00:24:07,228 Ohh... ohh... hey! Thank's for sharing 457 00:24:51,835 --> 00:24:54,136 (ANIMALS CHATTERING) 458 00:25:02,837 --> 00:25:04,137 (BIRDS COOING) 459 00:25:15,439 --> 00:25:16,439 (EVAN EXCLAIMING) 460 00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:25,141 MARTY: You're right on time. 461 00:25:25,141 --> 00:25:28,541 Long just called. He's on his way with the powers that be. Who are they, Gene? Talk. 462 00:25:28,641 --> 00:25:30,742 Congressman Jim Dodd, head of Ways and Means. 463 00:25:30,742 --> 00:25:33,042 But don't worry, sir, he's definitely not "way mean." 464 00:25:33,142 --> 00:25:34,742 That's speculation. I don't know him personally... 465 00:25:34,842 --> 00:25:36,042 That's too much, Gene. Who else? 466 00:25:36,142 --> 00:25:38,043 Congressman Richard Stamp, head of Commerce, 467 00:25:38,143 --> 00:25:39,643 and Bob Hughes is Transportation. 468 00:25:39,643 --> 00:25:40,943 I have a draft of your support letter. 469 00:25:41,043 --> 00:25:42,943 Sounds like a plan. Are you all right? 470 00:25:42,943 --> 00:25:43,944 I'm good. 471 00:25:44,044 --> 00:25:45,844 You sure you're good? Okay. 472 00:25:47,644 --> 00:25:49,044 Good morning, chief. Good morning, Rita. 473 00:25:49,144 --> 00:25:50,345 Are you okay? I'm fine. 474 00:25:50,445 --> 00:25:52,245 You don't look so good. That's what I said. 475 00:25:52,245 --> 00:25:54,245 You're all jumpy. Are you on that Fen-Phen? 476 00:25:54,345 --> 00:25:56,346 Guys, I'm fine. I'll be inside. 477 00:25:59,646 --> 00:26:00,846 (EXHALING) 478 00:26:05,947 --> 00:26:07,347 (CAWING) 479 00:26:08,948 --> 00:26:10,748 No, no, no, no. 480 00:26:11,748 --> 00:26:16,449 No. Okay. No, no. No. No, no. No. 481 00:26:17,749 --> 00:26:20,349 No, no, no. Oh, my gosh! 482 00:26:21,149 --> 00:26:25,750 Guys! No, no! Get out! Get out! Oh, my hair! 483 00:26:26,250 --> 00:26:28,451 Gentlemen, welcome. What an honor to have you here. 484 00:26:28,451 --> 00:26:30,851 I'm Marty Stringer. I'm Congressman Baxter's chief of staff. 485 00:26:30,951 --> 00:26:33,051 This is Rita Daniels, his executive assistant. 486 00:26:33,351 --> 00:26:35,052 RITA: Are you ready, sir? 487 00:26:35,152 --> 00:26:39,252 Just a minute. No, no, no, no. Dirty, dirty, dirty! Big one! 488 00:26:39,552 --> 00:26:42,753 Baxter's only a freshman, sir, but I think you'll find he is locked and loaded. 489 00:26:42,853 --> 00:26:45,853 Good. Maybe this young stud can help me get these old mares on board. 490 00:26:45,953 --> 00:26:47,054 Oh, you'll be impressed. 491 00:26:48,654 --> 00:26:49,654 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 492 00:26:51,254 --> 00:26:53,755 Gentlemen, good to see you. 493 00:26:55,655 --> 00:26:59,556 Do you want to explain yourself, Congressman? What is going on? 494 00:26:59,856 --> 00:27:01,756 Oh, these 495 00:27:01,856 --> 00:27:03,456 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 496 00:27:03,456 --> 00:27:05,156 Are birds. 497 00:27:05,256 --> 00:27:07,857 What are they doing here? How did they get in here? 498 00:27:07,857 --> 00:27:10,657 Well, that is an excellent question. 499 00:27:10,757 --> 00:27:14,058 And my response to said question is, 500 00:27:14,058 --> 00:27:15,958 they are trained 501 00:27:16,858 --> 00:27:19,059 aviaries, sir. 502 00:27:19,159 --> 00:27:20,059 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 503 00:27:20,159 --> 00:27:23,559 Let me make you see what I'm talking about. 504 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:30,360 I can make any sort of movement, and they will not get off! 505 00:27:30,460 --> 00:27:32,761 Do you have a point, Congressman? 506 00:27:32,861 --> 00:27:34,461 Hey, guys, what's the point? 507 00:27:36,961 --> 00:27:38,162 What's my point? 508 00:27:38,162 --> 00:27:39,462 (EXCLAIMING IN PAIN) 509 00:27:39,562 --> 00:27:40,962 I'll tell you. 510 00:27:40,962 --> 00:27:43,162 The point is 511 00:27:45,563 --> 00:27:47,663 that man 512 00:27:48,463 --> 00:27:52,364 needs to dominate creatures 513 00:27:52,364 --> 00:27:55,664 and, ultimately, man must 514 00:27:56,565 --> 00:28:00,065 dictate what happens in this country. 515 00:28:02,966 --> 00:28:03,966 (SIGHING) 516 00:28:04,066 --> 00:28:05,366 God bless America. 517 00:28:06,566 --> 00:28:08,366 (BIRDS CAWING) 518 00:28:08,366 --> 00:28:09,667 I couldn't agree more. 519 00:28:09,767 --> 00:28:11,267 You have got to be kidding me. 520 00:28:11,367 --> 00:28:12,567 CONGRESSMAN: No, of course not. 521 00:28:12,567 --> 00:28:16,368 We lost a huge project last year because of the red-headed woodpecker. 522 00:28:16,468 --> 00:28:18,368 Those environmentalists got so up in arms 523 00:28:18,468 --> 00:28:21,368 over the potential disappearance of one stupid bird... 524 00:28:21,368 --> 00:28:22,769 Yeah, birds are stupid sometimes. 525 00:28:22,869 --> 00:28:25,569 ...we lost over $25 million in business. 526 00:28:25,669 --> 00:28:28,770 I see where you're going with this, Congressman. Good work! 527 00:28:28,870 --> 00:28:32,470 Your little display has obviously hit a chord. Gentlemen. 528 00:28:33,370 --> 00:28:34,671 (LONG CHUCKLING) 529 00:28:36,271 --> 00:28:41,672 From now on, let's keep the surprises to a maximum of, say, none. Understood? 530 00:28:41,772 --> 00:28:43,472 Yes, sir. Absolutely, sir. 531 00:28:43,772 --> 00:28:45,572 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 532 00:28:53,574 --> 00:28:56,774 Evan, that was brilliant. Risky, but brilliant. 533 00:28:57,574 --> 00:28:58,574 (MARTY EXCLAIMING IN DELIGHT) 534 00:28:59,374 --> 00:29:00,475 What the... 535 00:29:00,575 --> 00:29:05,575 I'll tell you one thing, these birds had a nice big meal before they flew in here. 536 00:29:05,675 --> 00:29:07,076 You want me to get my BB gun? 537 00:29:07,176 --> 00:29:09,376 You know what I want you to do? I want you to open the door. 538 00:29:09,376 --> 00:29:10,476 Open the door? 539 00:29:10,476 --> 00:29:11,676 Just open the door! 540 00:29:11,676 --> 00:29:13,977 Close the door after I leave! Just do it! 541 00:29:14,077 --> 00:29:15,077 Okay. 542 00:29:15,177 --> 00:29:18,077 One, two, three! 543 00:29:23,878 --> 00:29:27,379 Man, if I get the bird flu, he is paying for my medical bills! 544 00:29:28,079 --> 00:29:28,779 (TIRES SCREECHING) 545 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:34,780 (GASPS) 546 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:35,880 (TIRES SCREECHING) 547 00:29:36,580 --> 00:29:37,580 (SHEEP BLEATING) 548 00:29:37,681 --> 00:29:39,581 Sheep! 549 00:29:39,681 --> 00:29:40,581 (RACCOONS CHATTERING) 550 00:29:41,681 --> 00:29:42,681 (GASPS) 551 00:29:45,782 --> 00:29:46,782 (HISSING) 552 00:29:48,482 --> 00:29:50,282 Oh, no. 553 00:29:56,383 --> 00:29:58,184 Oh, gosh. 554 00:29:58,984 --> 00:30:00,384 (EXCLAIMING) 555 00:30:00,384 --> 00:30:02,284 Go, go, go! Get out! 556 00:30:05,185 --> 00:30:07,085 (EVAN SCREAMING) 557 00:30:24,988 --> 00:30:25,988 (DONKEY BRAYING) 558 00:30:27,088 --> 00:30:28,088 (COWS MOOING) 559 00:30:28,188 --> 00:30:29,589 Okay. No. 560 00:30:29,789 --> 00:30:30,989 (EVAN EXCLAIMING) 561 00:30:31,089 --> 00:30:34,389 No. No. 562 00:30:36,190 --> 00:30:38,990 I'm not doing this. It's insane! 563 00:30:40,090 --> 00:30:41,191 No! 564 00:30:42,091 --> 00:30:43,891 Enough already! 565 00:30:43,991 --> 00:30:46,391 See, if you had an ark, you'd have a place to put them all. 566 00:30:46,491 --> 00:30:48,292 Why are you doing this? Why me? 567 00:30:48,392 --> 00:30:49,392 (HORSE WHINNYING) 568 00:30:49,392 --> 00:30:50,392 (SHEEP BLEATING) 569 00:30:50,492 --> 00:30:53,893 It's not time yet. Go on. Go on. 570 00:30:54,493 --> 00:30:55,793 Yeah, go on. 571 00:30:55,893 --> 00:30:59,093 So how about it? Feel like living on the edge? 572 00:31:05,894 --> 00:31:07,195 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 573 00:31:08,895 --> 00:31:12,495 Beautiful, isn't it? I remember creating this valley. 574 00:31:13,396 --> 00:31:15,896 Notice how the mountains line up east to west. 575 00:31:15,996 --> 00:31:18,396 That's so there'd be lots of sunshine. 576 00:31:18,396 --> 00:31:19,897 Where are we? 577 00:31:20,197 --> 00:31:21,297 (CHUCKLING) 578 00:31:21,397 --> 00:31:23,097 Don't recognize it, eh? 579 00:31:23,297 --> 00:31:24,297 No. 580 00:31:24,697 --> 00:31:28,598 This is where you live, son. This is Prestige Crest. 581 00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:32,399 I wanted you to see the original design. 582 00:31:47,001 --> 00:31:50,601 So, you're really him, aren't you? 583 00:31:50,702 --> 00:31:54,102 You want more proof? I haven't done the pillar of salt thing in a while. 584 00:31:54,202 --> 00:31:57,803 That's all right. I believe you. I just... I don't understand why you chose me. 585 00:31:57,903 --> 00:31:59,703 You want to change the world, son. 586 00:32:00,903 --> 00:32:02,303 So do I. 587 00:32:05,704 --> 00:32:09,304 What? Well, why an ark? I mean, that's like flood territory. 588 00:32:09,404 --> 00:32:13,705 You wouldn't do that again. You wouldn't do that. Would you do that? 589 00:32:13,805 --> 00:32:16,506 Let's just say that whatever I do, 590 00:32:17,306 --> 00:32:19,206 I do because I love you. 591 00:32:19,906 --> 00:32:24,407 Well, then you have to understand that this whole building-an-ark thing 592 00:32:24,507 --> 00:32:25,907 is really not part of my plans here. 593 00:32:26,007 --> 00:32:28,908 I need to settle into my house. I need to make a good impression at work. 594 00:32:29,008 --> 00:32:30,408 (LAUGHING) 595 00:32:30,508 --> 00:32:31,708 What? 596 00:32:32,108 --> 00:32:33,308 Your plans. That's just... 597 00:32:36,409 --> 00:32:37,809 What are you talking... 598 00:32:37,909 --> 00:32:40,409 We're talking about an ark, right? I mean, an ark? 599 00:32:40,409 --> 00:32:43,910 An ark is huge! I don't even know where I would begin! 600 00:32:44,310 --> 00:32:45,810 Well, I hear that a lot. 601 00:32:45,910 --> 00:32:49,511 People want to change the world, don't know how to begin. 602 00:32:53,011 --> 00:32:54,812 You want to know how to change the world, son? 603 00:32:56,112 --> 00:32:58,712 One act of random kindness at a time. 604 00:33:07,514 --> 00:33:08,814 Build the ark. 605 00:33:08,914 --> 00:33:11,914 I'll tell you what. You build it, I'll fill it. 606 00:33:12,514 --> 00:33:17,415 And if anybody asks, tell them a flood's coming. 607 00:33:19,115 --> 00:33:22,016 Oh, and you might need this. 608 00:33:25,817 --> 00:33:29,817 Well, okay. Okay, so what do I do? I grab the wood and... 609 00:33:29,917 --> 00:33:31,417 Well, okay. 610 00:33:31,517 --> 00:33:34,818 You know, that's just cruel. 611 00:33:36,418 --> 00:33:37,918 Do you see him? 612 00:33:39,119 --> 00:33:40,519 I don't see him. 613 00:33:41,319 --> 00:33:45,020 "Building an Ark the Old-Fashioned Way." 614 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:50,620 "God is the creator of the Heavens and the Earth. 615 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:55,621 "He lives in all things and has over six billion seven hundred million children." 616 00:34:04,723 --> 00:34:05,723 (ALARM RINGING) 617 00:34:16,124 --> 00:34:17,125 (EXCLAIMING) 618 00:34:17,625 --> 00:34:20,325 JOAN: Honey? You okay? You need something? 619 00:34:22,325 --> 00:34:25,626 No, nothing. Just dropped something. 620 00:34:58,731 --> 00:35:00,731 (EXCLAIMING) 621 00:35:01,832 --> 00:35:03,332 Okay. Okay. 622 00:35:10,333 --> 00:35:11,733 Yeah. 623 00:35:11,833 --> 00:35:14,834 There we go. Okay. 624 00:35:20,735 --> 00:35:21,735 (EXCLAIMS) 625 00:35:21,835 --> 00:35:25,335 Come on. I mean, a beard? A beard's so dirty. 626 00:35:27,236 --> 00:35:28,236 Gross! 627 00:35:28,336 --> 00:35:30,536 JOAN: Packing, so it would really help me out if you would... 628 00:35:30,536 --> 00:35:31,636 Good morning. 629 00:35:31,736 --> 00:35:32,837 Hey, hey, hey, good morning. 630 00:35:32,837 --> 00:35:33,837 (CHUCKLING) 631 00:35:34,137 --> 00:35:35,237 Wow. 632 00:35:35,637 --> 00:35:37,837 What's with the scruffle, mountain man? 633 00:35:37,937 --> 00:35:43,238 Oh, well, you know, I figured it was a weekend, and I thought... 634 00:35:43,338 --> 00:35:44,438 JOAN: What? 635 00:35:44,538 --> 00:35:45,539 (MUTTERING) 636 00:35:45,639 --> 00:35:46,839 (BOTH GIGGLING) 637 00:35:46,939 --> 00:35:50,239 Honey, did I miss something? How long have you been growing that? 638 00:35:50,339 --> 00:35:51,339 (DOOR BELL RINGING) 639 00:35:51,439 --> 00:35:52,540 I'll get the door! 640 00:35:53,740 --> 00:35:55,240 Congratulations! 641 00:35:55,340 --> 00:35:56,640 What are you talking about? 642 00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,541 The lots. You bought the lots next door! 643 00:35:59,641 --> 00:36:01,541 Hello! 644 00:36:02,541 --> 00:36:03,541 Oh... 645 00:36:07,442 --> 00:36:12,043 And pulling the down payment out of your home equity? Very gutsy move. 646 00:36:12,143 --> 00:36:14,343 I didn't do that, did I? 647 00:36:14,543 --> 00:36:16,944 You sure did. So what's your plan? What are you gonna do? 648 00:36:16,944 --> 00:36:19,144 Turn them for a quick profit? Build them out on spec? 649 00:36:21,044 --> 00:36:24,745 Who wants champagne? Hip, hip hooray! 650 00:36:24,845 --> 00:36:25,845 (EVE WHOOPING) 651 00:36:27,945 --> 00:36:29,345 You bought eight lots? 652 00:36:29,445 --> 00:36:31,846 Yup. I was going to surprise you. 653 00:36:33,146 --> 00:36:36,547 "Surprise, surprise, surprise." Gomer Pyle. 654 00:36:37,147 --> 00:36:38,547 (LAUGHING) 655 00:36:38,547 --> 00:36:41,147 What are you doing? We can't afford that. 656 00:36:41,147 --> 00:36:43,548 Hey, Mom. John Lennon, good to see you again. 657 00:36:43,648 --> 00:36:45,248 Good to see you. 658 00:36:45,348 --> 00:36:46,448 (EXHALING) 659 00:36:46,548 --> 00:36:50,149 And eight lots? What are you going to do with eight lots? 660 00:36:50,949 --> 00:36:53,849 I don't know. Maybe I'll build a boat. 661 00:36:53,949 --> 00:36:55,750 Did you say "build a boat"? 662 00:36:55,850 --> 00:36:57,650 It might be something fun for the family. 663 00:36:57,750 --> 00:37:00,950 We could take the boat, go sailing on the lake. 664 00:37:01,951 --> 00:37:03,951 It'd be great in case it floods or something. 665 00:37:04,051 --> 00:37:06,051 What is going on with you? 666 00:37:06,551 --> 00:37:10,252 You bought all those lots and you're talking about building a boat. 667 00:37:10,352 --> 00:37:12,252 Yeah. And you grow this crazy beard! 668 00:37:12,252 --> 00:37:13,853 Is this, like, a midlife crisis? 669 00:37:13,953 --> 00:37:15,253 It's not that bad! 670 00:37:15,353 --> 00:37:16,353 It's not? No. 671 00:37:16,453 --> 00:37:18,253 Why do you think they call it a crisis? 672 00:37:18,353 --> 00:37:19,553 (KIDS CLAMORING) 673 00:37:19,653 --> 00:37:21,554 Hey, keep it down, you guys! Okay? 674 00:37:23,354 --> 00:37:24,754 Oh, my God. 675 00:37:24,854 --> 00:37:26,154 Honey? 676 00:37:26,254 --> 00:37:27,555 Oh, my God. 677 00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:29,955 Honey? 678 00:37:30,055 --> 00:37:31,055 (SNIFFLING) 679 00:37:32,055 --> 00:37:34,056 I know this sounds crazy. 680 00:37:35,156 --> 00:37:37,556 I really think I need to do this. 681 00:37:41,157 --> 00:37:42,357 Okay. 682 00:37:43,157 --> 00:37:44,757 Build your boat. 683 00:37:45,858 --> 00:37:48,258 Just don't take too long, okay? 684 00:37:48,358 --> 00:37:53,559 Because we didn't leave our lives in Buffalo so you could sail the S.S. Depression. 685 00:37:59,260 --> 00:38:00,260 (THUDDING) 686 00:38:13,062 --> 00:38:14,262 Here we go. 687 00:38:14,462 --> 00:38:17,963 Gentlemen, I'm sure you're all wondering why I've assembled you here today. 688 00:38:18,063 --> 00:38:20,863 An Argentine lake duck has a penis as long as its body. 689 00:38:20,863 --> 00:38:22,863 Wow, that's huge. He must be proud. 690 00:38:22,963 --> 00:38:27,164 So, I have come up with a little construction project for us this weekend. 691 00:38:27,264 --> 00:38:28,364 The whole weekend? 692 00:38:28,464 --> 00:38:29,865 The whole weekend. Yes! 693 00:38:30,065 --> 00:38:31,765 And maybe a couple weekends after that. 694 00:38:31,865 --> 00:38:34,065 I can do this. Help! 695 00:38:34,065 --> 00:38:35,265 (GRUNTING) 696 00:38:35,365 --> 00:38:38,266 How do I stand up with a piece of wood? Here we go. 697 00:38:38,666 --> 00:38:39,766 (JUST LIKE NOAH'S ARK PLAYING) 698 00:38:39,766 --> 00:38:41,466 Oh, man. Okay, that's good. 699 00:38:41,566 --> 00:38:42,567 (GROANING) 700 00:38:43,067 --> 00:38:46,767 Mother! Father! Sister! Brother! Wow! 701 00:38:46,867 --> 00:38:48,467 EVAN: Keep it straight. 702 00:38:49,668 --> 00:38:50,668 (GRUNTING) 703 00:38:51,868 --> 00:38:53,568 Hey, Dad, he's back! 704 00:38:53,868 --> 00:38:55,369 Ryan, no, don't do... 705 00:38:55,469 --> 00:38:56,469 Ow! 706 00:38:57,369 --> 00:39:00,369 Leverage it up! Leverage. Okay. 707 00:39:00,369 --> 00:39:01,970 Just put some leverage. You got to put some body weight. 708 00:39:02,070 --> 00:39:04,070 Ready? One, two, three. Come on. 709 00:39:04,770 --> 00:39:05,670 (WOOD SNAPPING) 710 00:39:05,870 --> 00:39:06,770 (EXCLAIMING) 711 00:39:06,970 --> 00:39:08,071 (THUDDING) 712 00:39:08,171 --> 00:39:09,771 Oh, I'm an idiot. 713 00:39:09,771 --> 00:39:13,271 "Nice to meet you, Mr. Congressman. Why do you have raw beef hands?" 714 00:39:13,271 --> 00:39:15,372 "Well, I'm building an ark." 715 00:39:16,672 --> 00:39:17,772 (GROANING) 716 00:39:17,872 --> 00:39:21,173 I got a boo-boo! I got a boo-boo! I got a boo-boo! 717 00:39:26,974 --> 00:39:31,874 You ever hear of Home Depot? Here we go! Here we go! Oh, yeah! 718 00:39:31,974 --> 00:39:33,575 (SCATTING) 719 00:39:33,875 --> 00:39:34,875 (THUDDING) 720 00:39:35,475 --> 00:39:36,375 (GRUNTING) 721 00:39:36,575 --> 00:39:39,075 (GROANING) 722 00:39:42,076 --> 00:39:46,077 All right. So our little Marlboro Man moment didn't work out so well. 723 00:39:46,177 --> 00:39:49,077 It's a disaster. I don't know how to build something like this. 724 00:39:49,077 --> 00:39:50,777 That's easy. Just don't. 725 00:39:50,777 --> 00:39:52,578 (EXCLAIMING IN PAIN) 726 00:39:55,178 --> 00:39:56,178 Wow. 727 00:39:56,278 --> 00:39:57,278 (PHONE RINGING) 728 00:39:57,778 --> 00:39:59,079 Hello. 729 00:39:59,179 --> 00:40:02,279 Yes, Marty. Your fearless leader is right here. 730 00:40:03,479 --> 00:40:04,579 Hey, Marty, what's up? 731 00:40:14,081 --> 00:40:16,681 Yes, I'll tell him. Thank you. 732 00:40:19,882 --> 00:40:22,282 I might need security. Thank you. 733 00:40:24,883 --> 00:40:26,183 Can I help you? 734 00:40:26,483 --> 00:40:27,583 Rita, it's me. 735 00:40:27,983 --> 00:40:31,584 Why do you sound like Evan Baxter, but look like a Bee Gee? 736 00:40:31,584 --> 00:40:33,084 Okay. All right. 737 00:40:33,584 --> 00:40:36,484 Okay, that's great. It's longer. 738 00:40:36,484 --> 00:40:39,385 Oh, my God. It is you. 739 00:40:39,985 --> 00:40:42,085 Evan, what happened? 740 00:40:42,185 --> 00:40:43,286 Did you fall in a mine shaft? 741 00:40:43,386 --> 00:40:44,386 No. 742 00:40:44,486 --> 00:40:45,486 Did you just come out of a coma? 743 00:40:45,586 --> 00:40:46,586 No. 744 00:40:46,686 --> 00:40:48,886 Were you attacked by a werewolf? 745 00:40:48,886 --> 00:40:50,187 No, I wasn't. 746 00:40:50,287 --> 00:40:53,187 Well, if you were going for that rugged look, you overshot it. 747 00:40:53,187 --> 00:40:54,787 You look like a bum in a suit. 748 00:40:54,887 --> 00:40:56,988 You need Super cuts and a shave. 749 00:40:57,088 --> 00:40:58,388 (EXCLAIMING) 750 00:40:58,488 --> 00:41:00,588 Right! Yeah. But I can't. It doesn't work. 751 00:41:00,688 --> 00:41:02,289 What do you mean, it doesn't work? 752 00:41:02,389 --> 00:41:03,689 It doesn't work! 753 00:41:03,789 --> 00:41:05,489 What? Are you shooting up Rogaine? 754 00:41:05,489 --> 00:41:08,990 Rita, if Evan shows up... I'm sorry, sir. I'll be with you in just one... 755 00:41:09,990 --> 00:41:11,790 Evan? Take it in. Take it in. 756 00:41:11,890 --> 00:41:13,590 Okay, yeah, to answer any questions you may have, 757 00:41:13,690 --> 00:41:15,791 I am going through adult puberty! 758 00:41:15,891 --> 00:41:18,291 This is all temporary. Why did you bring me down here? 759 00:41:18,391 --> 00:41:19,491 What was so important? 760 00:41:19,591 --> 00:41:21,292 What is so important? 761 00:41:21,392 --> 00:41:24,092 I've got a letter of intent here about Congressman Long's bill. 762 00:41:24,092 --> 00:41:25,192 You remember that, don't you? 763 00:41:25,292 --> 00:41:28,393 Well, you haven't been here and now he wants you to sign this in person, Evan! 764 00:41:28,393 --> 00:41:30,693 No, I can't do that. Nope, nope, nope. Not gonna happen. 765 00:41:30,793 --> 00:41:33,594 No. You can't do that. Not looking like that. You have to go shave! 766 00:41:33,694 --> 00:41:35,994 I can't shave, Marty. When I shave, it grows back out. 767 00:41:36,094 --> 00:41:38,994 That happens when you shave! But then you shave again! 768 00:41:39,094 --> 00:41:40,595 You have no idea. 769 00:41:40,595 --> 00:41:43,595 Evan, what is going on? 770 00:41:43,695 --> 00:41:44,895 I'm... 771 00:41:49,396 --> 00:41:51,196 Building something. 772 00:41:52,697 --> 00:41:54,397 MARTY: You're building something? 773 00:41:54,497 --> 00:41:56,197 Well, I hope it's a barber shop. 774 00:41:56,297 --> 00:41:59,198 Guys, I can't let Long see me this way, okay? 775 00:41:59,198 --> 00:42:02,398 You're gonna have to tell him I'm sick. Just cover for me. Just help me out! 776 00:42:03,398 --> 00:42:04,398 (DOOR CLOSING) 777 00:42:05,599 --> 00:42:08,599 Come on, Evan, be reasonable. You got to get rid of that beard. 778 00:42:08,699 --> 00:42:10,599 I need your face back. I need you back. 779 00:42:10,599 --> 00:42:12,300 Can you at least tell me what you're building? 780 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,500 I'm building a boat. You're building a boat? 781 00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:17,200 Look, you got to cover for me. I don't want anybody to see... 782 00:42:17,300 --> 00:42:19,501 Congressman! There you are! 783 00:42:19,601 --> 00:42:21,601 Congressman Long, I, I, I, I... 784 00:42:21,601 --> 00:42:24,602 Stop stammering, son. We all play hooky from time to time. 785 00:42:24,702 --> 00:42:28,502 I'm not gonna turn you in to the principal. Mostly because I am the principal. 786 00:42:28,502 --> 00:42:29,902 (LAUGHING) 787 00:42:29,902 --> 00:42:31,003 Very good. 788 00:42:31,003 --> 00:42:33,503 What's with the veil? Did you get your new set of braces? 789 00:42:33,503 --> 00:42:37,004 No, no. No. That's hilarious, though. 790 00:42:37,104 --> 00:42:39,904 Would you drop that thing, son? I can't understand a word you're saying. 791 00:42:49,205 --> 00:42:51,106 It's a wife thing, sir. 792 00:42:51,206 --> 00:42:52,906 Just trying to spice up the love life. 793 00:42:53,906 --> 00:42:56,307 She's a big Loggins and Messina fan. 794 00:42:56,307 --> 00:42:58,707 Keeping it fresh. Keeping it real. 795 00:42:58,707 --> 00:43:01,407 Would you excuse us for a moment? 796 00:43:01,507 --> 00:43:03,908 The Congressman and I are going to have a little chat. 797 00:43:07,908 --> 00:43:09,009 Come on. 798 00:43:09,109 --> 00:43:11,309 Nice, isn't it? Politics is dog-eat-dog, 799 00:43:11,409 --> 00:43:14,009 but if you survive, they give you a bigger den. Have a seat. 800 00:43:14,109 --> 00:43:18,110 So, tell me, Congressman, are you freaking out on me or what? 801 00:43:18,210 --> 00:43:19,210 No, sir. 802 00:43:19,210 --> 00:43:22,511 Oh, come on, son. I hand you your first cosponsor ship of a bill, 803 00:43:22,611 --> 00:43:24,911 and when you finally show up you look like the fifth Beatle. 804 00:43:25,011 --> 00:43:27,311 Now, you expect me to believe everything is hunky dory? 805 00:43:27,411 --> 00:43:30,212 Well, sir, actually, things have been a little more dory. 806 00:43:30,312 --> 00:43:34,413 Of course they are. I get it. You know anything about animals, son? 807 00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:38,613 The Argentine lake duck has a penis as long as its body. 808 00:43:40,714 --> 00:43:44,614 Although you probably already know that. Or have heard it. Not experienced it. 809 00:43:44,614 --> 00:43:46,815 You ever heard of the Arctic white wolf? 810 00:43:46,815 --> 00:43:47,915 No, sir. 811 00:43:47,915 --> 00:43:49,015 Top of the food chain. 812 00:43:49,115 --> 00:43:51,815 It's fast, it's smart, can fend for itself, but it chooses not to. 813 00:43:51,915 --> 00:43:53,416 It chooses to run with a pack. 814 00:43:53,516 --> 00:43:54,616 And do you know why? 815 00:43:54,616 --> 00:43:55,616 No. 816 00:43:55,716 --> 00:43:58,216 The Arctic white wolf, Congressman, realizes 817 00:43:58,316 --> 00:44:00,017 that it is stronger as part of a group. 818 00:44:00,117 --> 00:44:03,117 Do you know what happens when one of these wolves decides to fend for itself? 819 00:44:03,117 --> 00:44:05,918 The pack kills the loner for the greater good of the community. 820 00:44:06,018 --> 00:44:07,718 Ouch, that hurts. 821 00:44:07,718 --> 00:44:11,018 Are you familiar with Jim Jenkins, the junior congressman from Tennessee? 822 00:44:11,118 --> 00:44:14,519 When I met Congressman Jenkins, he was fresh off the turnip truck, 823 00:44:14,619 --> 00:44:16,719 but now he's sitting on his own committee. 824 00:44:16,819 --> 00:44:19,920 Congressman Jenkins, Congressman Whitehall, Congressman Freeman, 825 00:44:20,020 --> 00:44:23,720 they all have committee chairs because they all run with the pack. 826 00:44:23,820 --> 00:44:25,921 Now, you have to come to a decision. 827 00:44:26,021 --> 00:44:28,221 Are you gonna run with the pack or are you gonna lone wolf it? 828 00:44:28,321 --> 00:44:30,421 I am a pack man, sir. 829 00:44:30,521 --> 00:44:34,622 Good. I'm introducing the CINPLAN bill in 2 weeks. C-SPAN is covering it live. 830 00:44:34,722 --> 00:44:36,822 I want your full support and nothing else. 831 00:44:36,922 --> 00:44:38,023 Yes, sir. 832 00:44:39,023 --> 00:44:41,223 Those fish are on you like bait on a hook. 833 00:44:43,223 --> 00:44:44,824 Birds follow you. 834 00:44:45,724 --> 00:44:47,424 Fish follow you. 835 00:44:51,125 --> 00:44:54,325 Let's see if we can get some congressmen to follow you. 836 00:44:54,325 --> 00:44:56,426 Let's get this bill passed, shall we, Congressman? 837 00:44:56,526 --> 00:44:57,626 Yes, sir. 838 00:44:59,826 --> 00:45:01,426 Hey, fleabag, out of the way. 839 00:45:01,526 --> 00:45:03,527 Hey, Dad, I think there are more animals than yesterday. 840 00:45:03,527 --> 00:45:05,727 Well, let's not keep our audience waiting, shall we? 841 00:45:06,027 --> 00:45:07,427 (MOOING) 842 00:45:07,527 --> 00:45:08,827 (SNORTING) 843 00:45:08,827 --> 00:45:13,128 Up, up. Push it up. Push it. We got it. We got it. Oh, yeah, yeah. 844 00:45:13,928 --> 00:45:16,629 Come on. Just let it go, just let it go. 845 00:45:20,129 --> 00:45:22,530 Dad, we can do this, but we're gonna need some help. 846 00:45:22,630 --> 00:45:25,830 I know. We just need something to lift those beams. 847 00:45:25,930 --> 00:45:26,930 (SIGHING) 848 00:45:28,131 --> 00:45:29,631 Like that? 849 00:45:29,731 --> 00:45:31,331 RYAN: Holy moly! 850 00:45:31,331 --> 00:45:32,331 (RYAN CHUCKLING) 851 00:45:32,531 --> 00:45:35,032 RYAN: This is so totally awesome! 852 00:45:35,032 --> 00:45:36,632 JORDAN: This is perfect. 853 00:45:36,632 --> 00:45:38,132 DYLAN: Dad, there's a note. 854 00:45:44,433 --> 00:45:46,033 Let me see that. 855 00:45:48,634 --> 00:45:50,234 How does it work? 856 00:45:57,835 --> 00:45:59,736 RYAN: Dad, this is really weird. 857 00:45:59,736 --> 00:46:02,036 Repeat after me, "We are hamsters!" 858 00:46:02,136 --> 00:46:03,736 BOTH: We are hamsters! 859 00:46:03,836 --> 00:46:05,436 Leg power! 860 00:46:05,536 --> 00:46:07,037 BOTH: Leg power! 861 00:46:07,837 --> 00:46:08,837 And it's in! 862 00:46:08,837 --> 00:46:09,837 (WHOOPING) 863 00:46:09,937 --> 00:46:11,037 That's it. 864 00:46:11,337 --> 00:46:13,038 (REVOLUTION PLAYING) 865 00:46:13,238 --> 00:46:16,238 Hey, who has opposable thumbs? Anybody? 866 00:46:20,939 --> 00:46:24,039 You want to try this one? Make sure it's straight. 867 00:46:24,139 --> 00:46:25,740 RYAN: This is awesome! JORDAN: This is so cool. 868 00:46:25,740 --> 00:46:27,740 EVAN: Here we go. RYAN: Oh, my God! 869 00:46:28,140 --> 00:46:31,441 Yeah. Gotta do the dance. Come on, let's do the dance. 870 00:46:32,741 --> 00:46:34,641 We're doing the dance. JORDAN: Dylan, come on. Do the dance. 871 00:46:34,641 --> 00:46:36,441 EVAN: Come on, do the dance. DYLAN: I'm not doing the dance. 872 00:46:37,842 --> 00:46:38,842 (EXCLAIMS) 873 00:46:39,042 --> 00:46:40,042 Ow! 874 00:46:40,142 --> 00:46:41,142 (CHATTERING) 875 00:46:41,542 --> 00:46:42,642 Don't scratch! 876 00:46:42,742 --> 00:46:43,742 Stop it. Come here. 877 00:46:43,842 --> 00:46:47,343 EVAN: Insult to injury! My! 878 00:46:47,443 --> 00:46:48,443 Good boy. 879 00:46:48,543 --> 00:46:49,543 Okay, guys. A little bit more. 880 00:46:49,643 --> 00:46:52,544 Here we go. I got it. Keep it... That's it! 881 00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:54,844 Beautiful! 882 00:46:54,944 --> 00:46:55,944 (DOG BARKING) 883 00:46:56,644 --> 00:46:57,945 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 884 00:46:59,945 --> 00:47:01,045 EVAN: You guys all right? 885 00:47:01,145 --> 00:47:02,345 BOYS: Yup. 886 00:47:16,748 --> 00:47:18,248 (READING) 887 00:47:19,948 --> 00:47:20,948 "G." 888 00:47:33,750 --> 00:47:35,151 (EVAN MUMBLING) 889 00:47:35,251 --> 00:47:37,751 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 890 00:47:40,251 --> 00:47:43,252 Well, I hope this isn't our last supper. 891 00:47:43,352 --> 00:47:45,852 (CHUCKLING) MAN ON TV: 892 00:47:45,952 --> 00:47:48,153 so this dry, hot weather will continue. 893 00:47:48,153 --> 00:47:51,153 GOD: Until September 22, midday. 894 00:47:51,253 --> 00:47:54,354 If the ark isn't finished by then, you will be. 895 00:47:54,754 --> 00:47:58,054 Is that when it's going to happen? September 22, midday? 896 00:47:58,154 --> 00:48:00,455 MAN OVER TV: High temperatures tomorrow back into the 90s everywhere, 897 00:48:00,555 --> 00:48:01,755 right on through Tuesday 898 00:48:01,755 --> 00:48:05,255 and the next seven days, no showers, no storms. 899 00:48:05,355 --> 00:48:09,556 That would be a good day to have chicken. How about Mom's chicken? Huh? 900 00:48:09,656 --> 00:48:12,056 Hon, could we have some more chicken September 22, midday? 901 00:48:13,957 --> 00:48:17,357 Boys, will you excuse us, please? Your father and I need to have a little talk. 902 00:48:17,457 --> 00:48:18,957 Busted. 903 00:48:19,058 --> 00:48:20,258 RYAN: Dad, you're busted. 904 00:48:20,258 --> 00:48:21,458 Yeah, I know. 905 00:48:23,358 --> 00:48:24,758 What are you doing? 906 00:48:24,858 --> 00:48:26,059 Do we have anything unleavened? 907 00:48:26,159 --> 00:48:29,659 Yeah, we do, it's in the back, next to the frankincense and myrrh. 908 00:48:29,759 --> 00:48:32,960 We have a fancy name for it in this century, it's called pita. 909 00:48:33,460 --> 00:48:34,860 Got it. 910 00:48:34,860 --> 00:48:36,860 Evan, what is happening to you? 911 00:48:37,860 --> 00:48:41,261 Don't! No! Just put it down! Look at you. 912 00:48:41,261 --> 00:48:46,662 The hair. Are you on something? Is it a mega-growth hormone? What? 913 00:48:48,262 --> 00:48:49,962 Evan, talk to me. 914 00:48:53,063 --> 00:48:54,063 (SIGHING) 915 00:48:58,364 --> 00:49:00,164 I'm building an ark. 916 00:49:01,964 --> 00:49:03,765 What does that mean? 917 00:49:05,165 --> 00:49:09,165 God appeared to me and told me to build an ark. 918 00:49:09,265 --> 00:49:13,166 He said there was going to be a flood and that I should be prepared. 919 00:49:13,266 --> 00:49:15,766 Whenever I shave, my beard grows right back out. 920 00:49:15,766 --> 00:49:20,867 My hair grows longer every day. This robe... God sent me the robe. 921 00:49:20,867 --> 00:49:22,267 He thought it would be funny. 922 00:49:23,268 --> 00:49:28,068 I actually think it's really comfortable. That's why I'm wearing it. 923 00:49:29,769 --> 00:49:32,269 The beard, the robe. 924 00:49:33,369 --> 00:49:34,869 You're Noah? 925 00:49:36,370 --> 00:49:37,970 Yeah, kind of. 926 00:49:38,070 --> 00:49:39,070 Mom! 927 00:49:39,170 --> 00:49:40,470 Not now, Noah! 928 00:49:42,171 --> 00:49:43,271 Dylan. 929 00:49:43,271 --> 00:49:44,371 Okay. 930 00:49:47,872 --> 00:49:51,372 We left everything behind to come here. 931 00:49:51,472 --> 00:49:55,173 Maybe that's put too much pressure on you. I don't know. 932 00:49:55,273 --> 00:49:59,773 But this has got to stop. Please. You're scaring me. 933 00:49:59,873 --> 00:50:04,474 The boys need their father back, and I need my husband back. 934 00:50:10,175 --> 00:50:11,175 (SIGHING) 935 00:50:14,176 --> 00:50:15,576 (SHARP DRESSED MAN PLAYING) 936 00:50:21,777 --> 00:50:24,677 Yes. Successful. Powerful. Handsome. Happy. 937 00:50:24,777 --> 00:50:27,578 Successful. Powerful. Handsome. Happy. 938 00:50:37,179 --> 00:50:38,680 Good morning! 939 00:50:43,580 --> 00:50:44,580 Cold today, huh? 940 00:50:44,981 --> 00:50:45,981 Hmm? 941 00:50:48,081 --> 00:50:49,381 (EXCLAIMS) 942 00:50:56,582 --> 00:50:57,883 "Back to work"? 943 00:51:01,383 --> 00:51:07,084 Okay. All right. You want me to wear the robe? I'll wear the robe. 944 00:51:08,084 --> 00:51:11,385 Two can play this game. 945 00:51:19,186 --> 00:51:20,386 Ha, ha, ha! 946 00:51:22,086 --> 00:51:24,087 Piece de resistance. 947 00:51:25,987 --> 00:51:28,087 The student has become the teacher. 948 00:51:31,588 --> 00:51:32,888 (HAMMER BANGING) 949 00:51:32,888 --> 00:51:34,388 This meeting will come to order. 950 00:51:34,488 --> 00:51:35,689 Rita, any sign of him? 951 00:51:35,789 --> 00:51:38,089 Marty, I told you, I will let you know as soon as... 952 00:51:38,189 --> 00:51:41,489 You know what? You got me. He's here. We're in the middle of a yoga class. 953 00:51:41,489 --> 00:51:43,390 Rita, this is no time for jokes. I'm not kidding. 954 00:51:43,490 --> 00:51:45,790 If he's not in that meeting, we're all out of a job. 955 00:51:45,890 --> 00:51:48,090 Wait a minute. Let me finish my sun salutation. 956 00:51:53,491 --> 00:51:55,792 Marty! Sorry I'm late. Come on, let's go. 957 00:51:56,792 --> 00:51:58,992 What is that? 958 00:51:59,092 --> 00:52:02,693 Making lemonade out of lemons. Pick up your phone! Come on! 959 00:52:02,793 --> 00:52:06,093 LONG: At its heart, this bill gives private citizens access 960 00:52:06,193 --> 00:52:08,194 to lands they technically already own. 961 00:52:08,294 --> 00:52:09,894 CONGRESSPERSON: Will the Chairman yield? 962 00:52:09,994 --> 00:52:10,994 Oh, look, there he is. 963 00:52:11,094 --> 00:52:12,294 Yup, yup, I see him. 964 00:52:12,294 --> 00:52:16,295 Access is just a word you're using to hide what's really going on here. 965 00:52:16,295 --> 00:52:18,895 This is about development, short and simple. 966 00:52:18,995 --> 00:52:24,096 Evan, what are you doing? You have a pony tail on your face! 967 00:52:24,196 --> 00:52:26,597 What you gonna do next? Cornrow your eyebrows? 968 00:52:26,597 --> 00:52:29,297 Development means the advancement of jobs, 969 00:52:29,397 --> 00:52:32,998 an increase in domestic commerce. If you happen to like those things, 970 00:52:33,098 --> 00:52:37,398 I invite you to join myself and my cosponsors, Congressman Dodd, 971 00:52:39,599 --> 00:52:41,599 Congressman Hughes 972 00:52:42,899 --> 00:52:44,599 and Congressman Baxter. 973 00:52:47,100 --> 00:52:48,500 (PEOPLE GASPING) 974 00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,500 (ALL MURMURING) 975 00:52:57,501 --> 00:52:58,502 (GASPING) 976 00:53:03,302 --> 00:53:05,003 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 977 00:53:05,903 --> 00:53:07,903 Did you just do a wardrobe change? 978 00:53:08,003 --> 00:53:11,004 What do you think this is, the Oscars? You are not Whoopi. 979 00:53:11,104 --> 00:53:12,104 (HAMMER SLAMMING) 980 00:53:12,204 --> 00:53:14,604 LONG: Ladies and gentlemen! Please! 981 00:53:14,704 --> 00:53:15,704 (HAMMER SLAMMING) 982 00:53:15,804 --> 00:53:19,805 Please! Congressman Baxter has a tendency to embrace the theatrical 983 00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:22,605 in his support of this bill. Congressman, let me warn you, 984 00:53:22,605 --> 00:53:26,206 you are approximately 10 seconds away from committee censure. 985 00:53:26,306 --> 00:53:29,507 Oh, no. Hey, would anyone mind if I close the window? 986 00:53:38,108 --> 00:53:39,408 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 987 00:53:41,808 --> 00:53:42,809 (ROARING) 988 00:53:43,609 --> 00:53:45,209 (PEOPLE SCREAMING) 989 00:53:45,209 --> 00:53:46,309 (GROWLING) 990 00:53:57,411 --> 00:53:58,911 (HAMMER SLAMMING) 991 00:53:59,011 --> 00:54:02,812 LONG: Ladies and gentlemen! Please! These animals are trained! 992 00:54:03,312 --> 00:54:05,112 I've seen this circus act before! 993 00:54:05,112 --> 00:54:08,113 Congressman, I'm sure St. Francis would be envious. 994 00:54:08,213 --> 00:54:11,813 We, however, are not. You have five seconds. 995 00:54:11,813 --> 00:54:14,714 You march yourself and your little animal troupe out of here now 996 00:54:14,714 --> 00:54:16,614 or you will be forcibly removed. 997 00:54:16,714 --> 00:54:18,614 I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. 998 00:54:18,714 --> 00:54:20,114 Congressman! 999 00:54:20,215 --> 00:54:22,415 These animals are not trained. 1000 00:54:22,515 --> 00:54:23,815 Congressman! 1001 00:54:24,715 --> 00:54:26,215 I think they want me to save them! 1002 00:54:26,215 --> 00:54:28,816 Save them from what, Congressman? 1003 00:54:29,016 --> 00:54:32,316 Saving the animals, okay. I can roll with that. That's a good idea. 1004 00:54:40,118 --> 00:54:41,118 The flood. 1005 00:54:41,518 --> 00:54:44,018 A flood? Rolling out. 1006 00:54:44,518 --> 00:54:45,819 CONGRESSPERSON: The flood. 1007 00:54:45,919 --> 00:54:48,019 This has been the hottest, driest summer on record 1008 00:54:48,119 --> 00:54:49,819 and you say we're going to have a flood? 1009 00:54:49,819 --> 00:54:51,119 When might we expect this? 1010 00:54:51,219 --> 00:54:53,320 September 22, midday. 1011 00:54:53,420 --> 00:54:54,420 (CROWD CHATTERING) 1012 00:54:57,220 --> 00:54:58,721 That's what I was told. 1013 00:54:58,821 --> 00:55:00,821 Might I ask who told you? 1014 00:55:07,722 --> 00:55:11,523 Not in front of all those people. Don't say it. Don't say it. 1015 00:55:16,623 --> 00:55:17,924 God. 1016 00:55:18,624 --> 00:55:19,624 (SOBBING) 1017 00:55:22,724 --> 00:55:25,525 God? You talk to God? 1018 00:55:26,225 --> 00:55:27,425 Yes. 1019 00:55:27,525 --> 00:55:28,725 LONG: And God is talking back? 1020 00:55:30,326 --> 00:55:32,526 Yeah. We hung out a little. 1021 00:55:32,626 --> 00:55:34,926 Well, time to update the resume. 1022 00:55:34,926 --> 00:55:37,327 Congressman, your name is being removed from this bill. 1023 00:55:37,427 --> 00:55:40,927 Obviously, the stresses of this office have proven too much for you. 1024 00:55:40,927 --> 00:55:42,327 Please have the congressman removed. 1025 00:55:42,427 --> 00:55:44,228 No. Please! You don't understand! 1026 00:55:44,328 --> 00:55:47,128 God commanded me to build an ark! 1027 00:55:47,228 --> 00:55:49,829 It's going to rain! There's going to be a flood! 1028 00:55:51,229 --> 00:55:52,729 Remove him now! 1029 00:55:52,829 --> 00:55:55,230 We have to prepare ourselves! 1030 00:55:55,330 --> 00:55:58,030 I need to finish the ark! 1031 00:55:58,030 --> 00:55:59,130 (HAMMER SLAMMING) 1032 00:55:59,230 --> 00:56:00,830 Remove him now! 1033 00:56:07,831 --> 00:56:09,732 Does this mean we're moving back home? 1034 00:56:10,732 --> 00:56:13,432 Home, Canada. One or the other. 1035 00:56:23,934 --> 00:56:28,835 Joan? I know you probably saw what happened, but I can explain. 1036 00:56:33,135 --> 00:56:35,736 Take the stuff to the car, guys. I'll be there in a minute. 1037 00:56:38,736 --> 00:56:39,837 Guys? 1038 00:56:41,537 --> 00:56:42,537 (DOOR OPENING) 1039 00:56:43,437 --> 00:56:48,538 I'm gonna take them to my mother's. Evan, I think you need help. 1040 00:56:49,138 --> 00:56:53,939 Joan, please. I'm not doing this. It's not me. It's him. 1041 00:56:53,939 --> 00:56:57,339 I went to that meeting in a suit, and he took it off of me. 1042 00:56:57,339 --> 00:57:01,140 Those animals are following me because of him. 1043 00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:04,840 God? Does God know he's destroying our lives? 1044 00:57:04,941 --> 00:57:07,441 Does God know he's going to get you fired? 1045 00:57:07,541 --> 00:57:09,341 Yeah! He's trying to get me fired! 1046 00:57:10,141 --> 00:57:13,242 He is trying to get me fired! 1047 00:57:13,342 --> 00:57:15,542 That way I'll have more time to work on the ark! 1048 00:57:15,542 --> 00:57:18,043 Because the rain and the floods are coming. 1049 00:57:18,143 --> 00:57:21,643 No, I heard you, Evan. The whole world heard you. 1050 00:57:21,643 --> 00:57:24,344 Joan, please, you gotta believe me. 1051 00:57:24,444 --> 00:57:25,544 (DRIZZLING) 1052 00:57:26,744 --> 00:57:31,545 There it is! It's happening! It's happening! It's raining! 1053 00:57:49,047 --> 00:57:50,248 Goodbye, Evan. 1054 00:57:52,248 --> 00:57:53,148 (ENGINE STARTING) 1055 00:57:53,948 --> 00:57:55,048 Joan! 1056 00:58:03,850 --> 00:58:08,351 I know! I know. Whatever you do, you do because you love me! 1057 00:58:16,152 --> 00:58:18,952 Do me a favor. Love me less. 1058 00:58:20,352 --> 00:58:21,453 REPORTER: Congressman! 1059 00:58:21,453 --> 00:58:24,453 WOMAN: Are you concerned at all about Congressman Baxter's tirade 1060 00:58:24,553 --> 00:58:26,153 and the adverse effects it may have on your bill? 1061 00:58:26,253 --> 00:58:30,054 The day it rains and floods and Congressman Baxter takes a ride on his ark, 1062 00:58:30,154 --> 00:58:32,154 that'll be the day I'll be concerned. Thank you. 1063 00:58:32,254 --> 00:58:34,655 (WAITING ON THE WORLD TO CHANGE PLAYING) 1064 00:58:36,155 --> 00:58:37,155 (BLEATING) 1065 00:58:37,255 --> 00:58:41,556 His name is Evan Baxter, but now he goes by "New York's Noah," 1066 00:58:41,656 --> 00:58:45,356 "Heaven's Evan," "The Weirdo with a Beardo." 1067 00:58:50,257 --> 00:58:53,958 Okay, guys. Watch it. Watch it. Coming through. Watch your back. 1068 00:58:55,558 --> 00:58:59,259 Marty, will you comment on Congressman Baxter's change of appearance? 1069 00:58:59,559 --> 00:59:03,459 Yes, his hair is long. Yes, his beard is unshaven. 1070 00:59:03,559 --> 00:59:05,760 Are you equally stunned by this man's appearance? 1071 00:59:12,161 --> 00:59:13,361 The way things go around here, 1072 00:59:13,361 --> 00:59:16,161 if he gets any crazier, we may end up in the White House. 1073 00:59:16,561 --> 00:59:22,062 (REPORTER SPEAKING SPANISH) 1074 00:59:22,462 --> 00:59:25,163 Hey! No, no, no! That's my cup! 1075 00:59:26,763 --> 00:59:28,063 Whatever. 1076 00:59:48,866 --> 00:59:52,367 He's filling the boat with two of every kind of animal. 1077 00:59:52,467 --> 00:59:55,867 Still to be collected, two giraffes, two elephants 1078 00:59:56,868 --> 00:59:58,468 and one more jackass. 1079 01:00:01,768 --> 01:00:02,869 What an idiot. 1080 01:00:02,869 --> 01:00:04,369 He's a mook. 1081 01:00:04,469 --> 01:00:05,669 Jerks. 1082 01:00:06,669 --> 01:00:09,270 Don't worry about it, you guys. Come on, eat up. 1083 01:00:09,370 --> 01:00:10,370 Not hungry. 1084 01:00:10,470 --> 01:00:11,570 Yeah, me neither. 1085 01:00:11,670 --> 01:00:13,970 You guys can't eat. I can't stop. 1086 01:00:14,070 --> 01:00:15,971 Can I go to the bathroom? Me, too? 1087 01:00:16,071 --> 01:00:18,671 Okay. Dylan, go with them. Please? 1088 01:00:18,771 --> 01:00:19,971 Fine. 1089 01:00:22,672 --> 01:00:24,672 Excuse me. Can I get a refill, please? 1090 01:00:25,372 --> 01:00:26,472 Coming right up. 1091 01:00:27,372 --> 01:00:28,373 Thank you. 1092 01:00:28,473 --> 01:00:30,173 Excuse me. Are you all right? 1093 01:00:31,073 --> 01:00:32,073 Yeah. 1094 01:00:33,873 --> 01:00:36,174 No. It's a long story. 1095 01:00:36,274 --> 01:00:37,374 Well, I like stories. 1096 01:00:38,174 --> 01:00:41,175 I'm considered a bit of a storyteller myself. 1097 01:00:42,275 --> 01:00:44,875 My husband... Have you heard of "New York's Noah"? 1098 01:00:46,976 --> 01:00:48,676 The guy who's building the ark. 1099 01:00:48,776 --> 01:00:50,076 That's him. 1100 01:00:50,176 --> 01:00:53,277 I love that story, Noah and the Ark. 1101 01:00:53,377 --> 01:00:54,977 You know, a lot of people miss the point of that story. 1102 01:00:55,077 --> 01:00:57,077 They think it's about God's wrath and anger. 1103 01:00:57,977 --> 01:00:59,778 They love it when God gets angry. 1104 01:00:59,778 --> 01:01:02,278 What is the story about, then? The ark? 1105 01:01:02,378 --> 01:01:07,779 Well, I think it's a love story about believing in each other. 1106 01:01:07,779 --> 01:01:13,480 You know, the animals showed up in pairs. They stood by each other, side by side, 1107 01:01:13,580 --> 01:01:17,880 just like Noah and his family. Everybody entered the ark side by side. 1108 01:01:18,981 --> 01:01:21,881 But my husband says God told him to do it. 1109 01:01:23,681 --> 01:01:25,282 What do you do with that? 1110 01:01:25,382 --> 01:01:27,182 Sounds like an opportunity. 1111 01:01:30,182 --> 01:01:31,483 Let me ask you something. 1112 01:01:32,483 --> 01:01:35,683 If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? 1113 01:01:36,283 --> 01:01:39,584 Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? 1114 01:01:41,284 --> 01:01:43,384 If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, 1115 01:01:43,384 --> 01:01:46,085 or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? 1116 01:01:48,285 --> 01:01:50,686 If someone prayed for their family to be closer, 1117 01:01:51,886 --> 01:01:54,786 you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? 1118 01:01:55,686 --> 01:01:58,087 Or does he give them opportunities to love each other? 1119 01:01:59,987 --> 01:02:01,187 (GASPS QUIETLY) 1120 01:02:01,287 --> 01:02:05,388 Well, I got to run. A lot of people to serve. Enjoy. 1121 01:02:12,389 --> 01:02:15,390 JON: Guess this comes as no surprise to those who remember his campaign promise, 1122 01:02:15,490 --> 01:02:17,290 "I will lower taxes, 1123 01:02:17,690 --> 01:02:19,890 "go crazy and build a gigantic ark." 1124 01:02:19,990 --> 01:02:20,790 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 1125 01:02:27,991 --> 01:02:29,992 JOAN: Oh, my gosh. 1126 01:02:34,593 --> 01:02:35,593 JOAN: Evan! 1127 01:02:35,693 --> 01:02:36,793 Dad? 1128 01:02:36,893 --> 01:02:37,993 Honey! 1129 01:02:38,093 --> 01:02:39,093 Dad? 1130 01:02:39,093 --> 01:02:40,894 You guys, I'm up here. 1131 01:02:56,596 --> 01:02:57,596 (LAUGHING) 1132 01:02:58,096 --> 01:03:00,097 Rough week? JORDAN: You look really funny. 1133 01:03:00,197 --> 01:03:01,397 You look really old. 1134 01:03:01,497 --> 01:03:02,997 Yeah, well, he is really old. 1135 01:03:05,197 --> 01:03:06,398 Why'd you come back? 1136 01:03:06,498 --> 01:03:07,598 It was the kids. 1137 01:03:07,698 --> 01:03:08,798 Tell him, guys. 1138 01:03:08,898 --> 01:03:10,898 We like you better as the crazy guy. 1139 01:03:10,898 --> 01:03:13,299 You spend time with us and you're home a lot more. 1140 01:03:13,399 --> 01:03:15,999 Just, please don't make us do the dance anymore. 1141 01:03:37,602 --> 01:03:42,103 I don't know what's going on, or what you're going through, 1142 01:03:42,803 --> 01:03:44,604 but we got into this as a family 1143 01:03:45,804 --> 01:03:48,504 and we're gonna get out of it as a family, 1144 01:03:49,404 --> 01:03:51,005 side by side. 1145 01:03:58,506 --> 01:04:01,906 But, Evan, we have to talk about the ark. It has to come down. 1146 01:04:02,006 --> 01:04:03,307 I can't do that. 1147 01:04:03,407 --> 01:04:04,807 You don't have a choice. 1148 01:04:05,207 --> 01:04:08,807 JOAN: Congressman Long went to the city. There's a laundry list of code violations. 1149 01:04:08,807 --> 01:04:11,308 You have until September 22 to take it down, 1150 01:04:11,308 --> 01:04:13,208 or they'll take it down and arrest you. 1151 01:04:13,308 --> 01:04:15,308 September 22. That's the day of the flood. 1152 01:04:15,408 --> 01:04:16,909 Mom! Dad! Come here! 1153 01:04:23,210 --> 01:04:25,510 (ANIMALS CALLING) 1154 01:04:42,013 --> 01:04:44,413 Don't you dare take that ark down. 1155 01:04:47,013 --> 01:04:48,914 How are we gonna do this? 1156 01:04:49,014 --> 01:04:51,214 There's no way the five of us can finish on time. 1157 01:04:51,314 --> 01:04:53,414 We don't have money to hire anybody else. 1158 01:04:53,414 --> 01:04:54,715 (ALPACA CRYING) 1159 01:04:58,515 --> 01:05:00,416 Is that a llama with a hammer? 1160 01:05:00,516 --> 01:05:04,016 An alpaca. They rarely spit at people unless frightened or abused. 1161 01:05:06,517 --> 01:05:07,717 Let's finish this sucker. 1162 01:05:09,817 --> 01:05:10,817 (READY FOR A MIRACLE PLAYING) 1163 01:05:11,917 --> 01:05:12,918 (ELEPHANT TRUMPETING) 1164 01:05:13,018 --> 01:05:14,218 Come on, let's go. 1165 01:05:14,218 --> 01:05:15,618 WOMAN: No one knows where they came from 1166 01:05:15,718 --> 01:05:17,518 or how the congressman is getting them to do it, 1167 01:05:17,618 --> 01:05:23,519 but, two by two, animals of all kinds are working with Godspeed to build this ark. 1168 01:05:23,619 --> 01:05:25,119 Thank you. 1169 01:05:25,219 --> 01:05:28,420 If this flood really does happen, "Evan help us." 1170 01:05:30,020 --> 01:05:31,520 Hey! A little help? 1171 01:05:35,521 --> 01:05:36,521 Thanks. 1172 01:05:37,921 --> 01:05:39,022 JOAN: Here it is, hon. 1173 01:05:39,322 --> 01:05:40,222 (MONKEY GIBBERING) 1174 01:05:40,322 --> 01:05:43,022 Perfect. Thanks. 1175 01:05:47,023 --> 01:05:48,523 Hold it right there. 1176 01:05:48,623 --> 01:05:52,224 This is Ed Carson coming to you live from New York Noah's construction site, 1177 01:05:52,224 --> 01:05:57,325 where we are unable to leave the news van due to hazardous conditions outside. 1178 01:06:00,525 --> 01:06:01,525 High five. High five. 1179 01:06:01,525 --> 01:06:02,525 Good job. 1180 01:06:03,225 --> 01:06:04,926 Hey, putty tat. 1181 01:06:07,226 --> 01:06:08,926 (SHRIEKING) 1182 01:06:08,926 --> 01:06:11,827 Go, go, go! He tried to eat me! 1183 01:06:12,127 --> 01:06:14,827 Dylan! Jordan! Check it out! Your mom's building an ark! 1184 01:06:14,927 --> 01:06:16,228 Let's do the dance. 1185 01:06:16,328 --> 01:06:18,328 JOAN: No, please, No. 1186 01:06:19,928 --> 01:06:20,928 (HONKING) 1187 01:06:21,028 --> 01:06:22,929 WOMAN 1: Well, where did the animals come from, then? 1188 01:06:23,029 --> 01:06:24,129 WOMAN 2: Please. It's a trick. 1189 01:06:24,229 --> 01:06:25,629 WOMAN 3: It's a circus is what it is. 1190 01:06:25,729 --> 01:06:28,830 Wild animals running amok in suburban Virginia. 1191 01:06:28,830 --> 01:06:32,530 With all these species, what's being done about the feces? 1192 01:06:38,631 --> 01:06:43,932 Evan Baxter! You have gone from newsman to congressman to caveman. 1193 01:06:44,032 --> 01:06:46,532 What makes you so sure God chose you? 1194 01:06:47,833 --> 01:06:49,533 He chose all of us. 1195 01:06:58,934 --> 01:07:00,835 Time to wash up, you guys. 1196 01:07:07,436 --> 01:07:08,636 Thanks. 1197 01:07:12,036 --> 01:07:13,537 You want some? 1198 01:07:33,840 --> 01:07:36,940 RITA: Why couldn't the man just buy a Corvette? 1199 01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:41,241 Well, well, well. There they are. It is good to see you guys. 1200 01:07:41,341 --> 01:07:46,342 It's good to see you! Your hair looks great. It's very regal. Man, I love your hair! 1201 01:07:46,442 --> 01:07:47,842 And you're still sucking up. 1202 01:07:47,942 --> 01:07:48,942 So, why are you here? 1203 01:07:49,042 --> 01:07:50,142 Long locked us out. 1204 01:07:50,242 --> 01:07:51,243 He can't do that. 1205 01:07:51,343 --> 01:07:53,543 I mean, I've been suspended, but I'm still a congressman. 1206 01:07:53,643 --> 01:07:54,743 Rita, tell him what you know. 1207 01:07:54,843 --> 01:07:55,843 Tell me what? 1208 01:07:55,943 --> 01:07:58,744 I smelled a rat the second we got that office. 1209 01:07:58,844 --> 01:08:00,844 You don't get an office like that for nothing. 1210 01:08:00,944 --> 01:08:04,145 So I had the stalker here do some research. 1211 01:08:04,145 --> 01:08:05,345 Okay, Eugene, talk. 1212 01:08:05,745 --> 01:08:07,545 Prestige Crest used to be federal lands, 1213 01:08:07,645 --> 01:08:10,546 but what's interesting is how it got into private hands. 1214 01:08:10,546 --> 01:08:12,946 Congressman Long got the approval to build a dam 1215 01:08:13,046 --> 01:08:15,946 and then passed out the surrounding lands to a group of private investors. 1216 01:08:16,046 --> 01:08:17,347 Now, the locals fought this thing for years. 1217 01:08:17,447 --> 01:08:19,647 They said Long and his developer buddies were cutting corners, 1218 01:08:19,747 --> 01:08:22,047 like skipping important building code checkpoints. 1219 01:08:22,047 --> 01:08:25,148 And with the land use bill, he's gonna do the same thing with the national parks. 1220 01:08:25,248 --> 01:08:28,948 So, you stand by and shake your pom-poms while Long and his buddies get rich. 1221 01:08:29,048 --> 01:08:31,149 What can we do? I'm suspended. 1222 01:08:31,249 --> 01:08:34,649 Go back to the Hill and show them that you can and will fight this bill. 1223 01:08:34,749 --> 01:08:37,750 You guys, I'm sorry. I can't do that. I have to get back to the ark. 1224 01:08:37,750 --> 01:08:39,450 The ark? All right. Okay. 1225 01:08:39,550 --> 01:08:41,450 God told you to build an ark? Yes. 1226 01:08:41,550 --> 01:08:44,551 But did he tell you to make your friends believe in you and follow you here 1227 01:08:44,651 --> 01:08:47,751 so you can make us look stupid? 'Cause I go to church every Sunday. 1228 01:08:48,952 --> 01:08:50,252 Okay, every other Sunday. 1229 01:08:51,252 --> 01:08:54,753 I've been to church! And that does not sound 1230 01:08:54,853 --> 01:08:57,253 Rita, I know that this doesn't make any sense. 1231 01:08:57,253 --> 01:08:59,953 I just want you to trust me. You just have to have faith. 1232 01:09:00,053 --> 01:09:04,654 Evan, faith will not fight this bill. The CINPLAN vote is today! 1233 01:09:04,754 --> 01:09:08,555 If we're going to stop this thing, you need to get down to Capitol Hill now! 1234 01:09:08,555 --> 01:09:09,955 Otherwise, it's impossible! 1235 01:09:10,055 --> 01:09:12,855 Dad, Dad, I think it's done. 1236 01:10:11,465 --> 01:10:15,665 What in the world? I can't even get my cat to 1237 01:10:57,072 --> 01:11:01,573 It's September 22, and we're all still here. 1238 01:11:01,573 --> 01:11:02,873 Awkward! 1239 01:11:03,173 --> 01:11:06,573 People! The flood is imminent! 1240 01:11:06,673 --> 01:11:10,274 Board the ark! Save yourselves! 1241 01:11:10,374 --> 01:11:11,774 MAN: Get down, you fool! 1242 01:11:12,274 --> 01:11:16,275 Listen to me! The time has come! 1243 01:11:16,375 --> 01:11:20,476 No, Captain Ahab! Your time has come! 1244 01:11:20,476 --> 01:11:21,676 (ALL LAUGHING) 1245 01:11:21,776 --> 01:11:26,476 Yeah, Baxter! The weather's 70 and sunny with a chance of crazy! 1246 01:11:26,577 --> 01:11:27,977 (ALL GIGGLING) 1247 01:11:29,677 --> 01:11:31,777 (RUMBLING) 1248 01:11:31,877 --> 01:11:36,078 Do you hear that? The rains are upon us! 1249 01:11:36,178 --> 01:11:37,878 Dad, I don't think that's the rains. 1250 01:11:39,178 --> 01:11:40,379 (SIREN BLARING) 1251 01:11:42,279 --> 01:11:44,979 MAN: Hey, Baxter! Kiss your ark goodbye! 1252 01:11:57,381 --> 01:11:58,482 Where is he? 1253 01:11:58,482 --> 01:11:59,582 On the boat, sir. 1254 01:12:00,582 --> 01:12:02,682 Give me a minute. Lets see if I can convince "Noah" 1255 01:12:02,782 --> 01:12:04,583 that the world doesn't have to end today. 1256 01:12:08,683 --> 01:12:11,684 I gotta hand it to you, this is quite the show. 1257 01:12:11,784 --> 01:12:14,784 According to my source, the show hasn't even started yet. 1258 01:12:14,884 --> 01:12:16,584 Still expecting the big flood. 1259 01:12:16,584 --> 01:12:18,885 You know, voters don't respond to the gloom and doom stuff. 1260 01:12:18,985 --> 01:12:20,485 They like a more positive message. 1261 01:12:20,485 --> 01:12:22,085 Like the one you're sending with your bill? 1262 01:12:22,185 --> 01:12:24,186 How much did you make off of all this land? 1263 01:12:24,286 --> 01:12:27,586 You are destroying our national parks for profit. 1264 01:12:27,586 --> 01:12:29,486 You have a problem with somebody taking a little profit? 1265 01:12:29,586 --> 01:12:31,087 It's called business, son. 1266 01:12:31,187 --> 01:12:33,687 So if I need to get a message out there, or get a congressman elected 1267 01:12:33,787 --> 01:12:37,788 there are people who pay for it, and yes, those people want this bill to happen 1268 01:12:37,888 --> 01:12:41,388 and, by God, it's gonna happen. Now you look down there. 1269 01:12:42,488 --> 01:12:44,289 Those are the wolves, son. 1270 01:12:44,289 --> 01:12:47,489 I'm gonna give you one last chance. Take down this boat. 1271 01:12:47,489 --> 01:12:51,290 I'm giving you one last chance. Repent. 1272 01:12:52,590 --> 01:12:56,491 Such a shame. You had possibilities. 1273 01:12:56,591 --> 01:13:00,391 But you want to stop progress to save the Earth. Go for it. 1274 01:13:00,491 --> 01:13:02,692 Good luck getting a tree to come to the polls. 1275 01:13:08,393 --> 01:13:09,893 Take it down. 1276 01:13:17,194 --> 01:13:20,394 This is a court order approving the demolition of this boat! 1277 01:13:20,494 --> 01:13:23,495 Evacuate immediately! You have three minutes! 1278 01:13:26,195 --> 01:13:30,396 Honey. We have to go. They're going to destroy the boat. 1279 01:13:31,196 --> 01:13:32,296 No. 1280 01:13:33,397 --> 01:13:34,797 It can't end this way. 1281 01:13:36,597 --> 01:13:40,598 Is it too much to ask for a little precipitation? 1282 01:13:41,798 --> 01:13:45,498 Honey, maybe God didn't mean a literal flood. 1283 01:13:45,598 --> 01:13:50,899 Maybe he meant a flood of knowledge or emotion or awareness. 1284 01:13:50,999 --> 01:13:52,600 If that's true, 1285 01:13:53,500 --> 01:13:56,700 I am going to be so pissed. 1286 01:13:56,800 --> 01:13:58,100 Two minutes! 1287 01:13:58,100 --> 01:14:01,601 Get off the boat now or you will be removed by force. 1288 01:14:01,701 --> 01:14:05,202 Evan, you did it. You built the ark. 1289 01:14:05,302 --> 01:14:06,702 That's all you were asked to do, right? 1290 01:14:06,702 --> 01:14:07,802 No. 1291 01:14:08,302 --> 01:14:12,503 There's something else. Something's going to happen. 1292 01:14:12,603 --> 01:14:15,403 Yeah, what's gonna happen is tear gas and a wrecking ball. 1293 01:14:15,503 --> 01:14:17,503 Evan, think of the kids. 1294 01:14:18,604 --> 01:14:20,004 One minute! 1295 01:14:22,204 --> 01:14:24,305 Dad, whatever you say, I'm with you. 1296 01:14:24,305 --> 01:14:25,805 Yeah, me, too. 1297 01:14:25,905 --> 01:14:28,005 Me, too. But can we keep some of the animals? 1298 01:14:28,005 --> 01:14:30,306 I like the alpaca. He spits. 1299 01:14:34,806 --> 01:14:38,107 You're right. We did it. We built the boat. 1300 01:14:38,507 --> 01:14:39,507 Yeah. 1301 01:14:40,507 --> 01:14:42,907 Let's go. Let's go, guys. Come on. 1302 01:14:56,010 --> 01:14:57,710 EVAN: Well, I guess they don't want to go. 1303 01:14:57,810 --> 01:14:59,210 It's their instinct. 1304 01:14:59,310 --> 01:15:00,910 What do you mean, hon? 1305 01:15:01,010 --> 01:15:05,711 Some animals know when weather's coming. When they feel it coming, they sit. 1306 01:15:11,612 --> 01:15:13,112 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1307 01:15:13,912 --> 01:15:15,013 Joan! 1308 01:15:18,313 --> 01:15:19,713 (THUNDER CLAPPING) 1309 01:15:24,414 --> 01:15:26,914 Okay. Time's up! We're coming in! 1310 01:15:27,014 --> 01:15:30,215 Get that ball in position! We're clearing them out! 1311 01:15:37,016 --> 01:15:38,916 (PEOPLE CHATTERING) 1312 01:15:41,217 --> 01:15:44,517 Is that rain? It's raining. 1313 01:15:44,517 --> 01:15:47,018 Lucky guess, Baxter. Lucky guess. 1314 01:15:48,618 --> 01:15:49,518 (THUNDER CLAPPING) 1315 01:16:05,421 --> 01:16:07,821 Looks like the drought's finally over. Good news, eh, Congressman? 1316 01:16:07,921 --> 01:16:10,121 Yeah. Good news. 1317 01:16:12,622 --> 01:16:18,123 Everybody! Please! Get on the ark! 1318 01:16:20,123 --> 01:16:21,623 Go to the car! 1319 01:16:21,723 --> 01:16:25,824 Please! Everyone! On the ark! 1320 01:16:25,924 --> 01:16:29,224 Cover me up! Keep me dry! Cover me up! Keep me dry! 1321 01:16:29,324 --> 01:16:33,325 Who's crazy now, huh? Look at us all squishing! 1322 01:16:41,426 --> 01:16:43,126 It kind of stopped raining. 1323 01:16:43,226 --> 01:16:44,327 Is that it? 1324 01:16:44,327 --> 01:16:46,827 What did I tell you? It's fine. It's over. 1325 01:16:46,927 --> 01:16:48,827 Hey, Ahab! This is it? 1326 01:16:49,627 --> 01:16:52,128 Your God experiencing a little water shortage? 1327 01:16:52,228 --> 01:16:53,228 (ALL LAUGHING) 1328 01:16:53,328 --> 01:16:57,029 It would appear Evan Baxter was right about the rain, 1329 01:16:57,029 --> 01:17:00,529 with a slight miscalculation as to the quantity. 1330 01:17:04,630 --> 01:17:06,230 Something's wrong. 1331 01:17:06,230 --> 01:17:07,830 Honey, the clouds are moving away. 1332 01:17:07,930 --> 01:17:10,931 No, no. No, this isn't right. 1333 01:17:11,731 --> 01:17:15,132 Evan, even if it kept raining, it's not like it could cause a flood in a day. 1334 01:17:15,232 --> 01:17:20,432 But today is the day! It has to be. This just doesn't make any sense! 1335 01:17:22,433 --> 01:17:23,533 Wait a second. 1336 01:17:23,633 --> 01:17:24,633 What is it? 1337 01:17:24,733 --> 01:17:28,434 Marty said that Long cut corners, violated building codes. 1338 01:17:28,534 --> 01:17:29,634 What are you talking about? 1339 01:17:29,734 --> 01:17:31,134 The lake, Long Lake. 1340 01:17:31,234 --> 01:17:34,835 It's named after him. It's the lake! It's the lake! 1341 01:17:48,237 --> 01:17:49,537 Oh, no. 1342 01:17:51,337 --> 01:17:56,138 Get on the ark! Everyone, on the ark now! 1343 01:17:56,238 --> 01:17:58,038 I think we should get on the ark. 1344 01:17:58,138 --> 01:18:00,939 I agree. I think we should get on the ark also. 1345 01:18:01,039 --> 01:18:04,039 I'm cold. I'm wet. I'm going home. 1346 01:18:11,640 --> 01:18:13,741 Ladies first! Move! 1347 01:18:21,642 --> 01:18:25,243 Oh, my God. This is happening. This is really happening. 1348 01:18:26,343 --> 01:18:29,743 Holy... Get everyone on the ark now! 1349 01:18:29,743 --> 01:18:32,444 Get on the ark now! Let's go! Get on the ark! Let's go! 1350 01:18:32,544 --> 01:18:35,444 Go, go, go! Get on the ark! 1351 01:18:35,444 --> 01:18:36,944 (ALL SCREAMING) 1352 01:18:37,044 --> 01:18:41,145 Go, go, go! On the ark! Go, go, go! 1353 01:18:41,245 --> 01:18:43,746 All right, boys! Let's go! Let's go! 1354 01:18:43,746 --> 01:18:47,346 We're gonna need a bigger boat. Stay here with the kids. 1355 01:18:56,448 --> 01:18:58,348 Come on, Rita! 1356 01:18:58,348 --> 01:19:02,548 Everyone, up the ramp! Onto the deck! Come on! Hurry, hurry, hurry! 1357 01:19:02,648 --> 01:19:04,349 Dylan, get back inside! It's too dangerous. 1358 01:19:04,449 --> 01:19:06,449 No, Dad. I told you, I'm with you. 1359 01:19:10,850 --> 01:19:13,650 EVAN: Careful, everyone. In the ark! In the ark! 1360 01:19:13,750 --> 01:19:15,851 Watch your step! Up the ramp, everybody! 1361 01:19:24,052 --> 01:19:25,152 Guys, help me with the door! 1362 01:19:25,252 --> 01:19:26,552 Get the door! Get the door! 1363 01:19:33,553 --> 01:19:35,454 (ALL SCREAMING) 1364 01:20:09,259 --> 01:20:10,759 Guys! Guys! 1365 01:20:43,764 --> 01:20:45,465 Everybody hang on! 1366 01:20:55,766 --> 01:20:56,867 (ROARING) 1367 01:20:56,967 --> 01:20:59,167 You guys all right? You okay? 1368 01:20:59,767 --> 01:21:01,267 MAN OVER TV: There's been a flood at Prestige Crest 1369 01:21:01,367 --> 01:21:03,568 and you're seeing live images of New York Noah's ark 1370 01:21:03,568 --> 01:21:06,868 caught in the storm surge and heading towards Memorial Bridge! 1371 01:21:14,669 --> 01:21:15,669 WOMAN: We're going to crash! 1372 01:21:15,770 --> 01:21:17,270 MAN: Turn this thing around! 1373 01:21:17,370 --> 01:21:18,670 MAN 2: We're not gonna make it! 1374 01:21:18,770 --> 01:21:20,170 MAN 3: Save us, Baxter! 1375 01:21:31,872 --> 01:21:36,473 I command thee halt! Stop! Whoa! 1376 01:21:36,573 --> 01:21:38,173 WOMAN: It's not working! 1377 01:21:38,973 --> 01:21:41,774 How about a little help here? 1378 01:21:58,076 --> 01:21:59,076 (SCREAMING) 1379 01:22:26,181 --> 01:22:27,181 (SCREAMING) 1380 01:22:27,581 --> 01:22:30,081 What do you mean there was water damage? It rained for ten minutes. 1381 01:22:30,181 --> 01:22:31,681 That is not possible. 1382 01:22:40,483 --> 01:22:41,583 (EXCLAIMING) 1383 01:22:41,583 --> 01:22:43,483 I love you guys. All right. 1384 01:22:43,583 --> 01:22:44,884 Seriously. Okay, I got it. 1385 01:22:44,884 --> 01:22:46,084 I love you. Thank you. 1386 01:22:46,084 --> 01:22:47,384 (EAGLE CRYING) 1387 01:23:03,487 --> 01:23:08,087 LONG: All those in favor of the Public Land Act, please signify by saying, "Aye." 1388 01:23:08,487 --> 01:23:10,388 (CLAMORING) 1389 01:23:15,188 --> 01:23:16,489 Good God! 1390 01:23:25,490 --> 01:23:27,290 (ALL YELLING) 1391 01:23:51,794 --> 01:23:53,294 I think we can walk from here. 1392 01:23:53,694 --> 01:23:54,895 (SIRENS BLARING) 1393 01:24:11,497 --> 01:24:16,098 Hello, Congressman. Mind if I park my boat here for a little while? 1394 01:24:16,998 --> 01:24:17,998 But how... 1395 01:24:18,098 --> 01:24:19,298 The dam, Congressman. 1396 01:24:19,398 --> 01:24:22,999 Your reservoir ruptured. Prestige Crest, it's all gone. 1397 01:24:22,999 --> 01:24:24,999 No. They said that couldn't happen. 1398 01:24:26,600 --> 01:24:28,000 I never thought this... 1399 01:24:29,200 --> 01:24:34,101 You. You did this to me. You set me up, you crazy son of a... 1400 01:24:34,201 --> 01:24:37,301 (MONKEYS SCREECHING) 1401 01:24:37,401 --> 01:24:39,702 Wow. That is disgusting. 1402 01:24:40,202 --> 01:24:41,602 If that comes out your front, 1403 01:24:41,702 --> 01:24:44,002 I don't even want to know what's coming out the back. 1404 01:24:46,903 --> 01:24:48,303 (SNARLING) 1405 01:24:48,403 --> 01:24:50,903 Don't look down, Congressman, but the wolves are here, 1406 01:24:51,003 --> 01:24:54,904 although I wouldn't worry so much about these wolves as those. 1407 01:25:03,205 --> 01:25:04,606 Gesundheit. 1408 01:25:16,708 --> 01:25:20,308 MAN 1: As you can see behind me, New York Noah's prediction came true. 1409 01:25:20,408 --> 01:25:22,909 WOMAN: The vote of the Land Act Bill has been suspended, 1410 01:25:23,009 --> 01:25:25,809 pending investigation of Congressman Long for profiteering... 1411 01:25:25,909 --> 01:25:28,909 MAN 2: Of course now, the question is, how will these animals be returned 1412 01:25:28,909 --> 01:25:30,510 to their natural habitats? 1413 01:25:30,610 --> 01:25:34,410 Something tells me, if God got them here, he can probably get them home. 1414 01:25:34,510 --> 01:25:37,611 WOMAN 2: The House will undoubtedly reinstate Congressman Baxter 1415 01:25:37,611 --> 01:25:39,411 when it reconvenes in the morning. 1416 01:25:39,511 --> 01:25:43,412 Until then, there is a lot to be done here on Capitol Hill. 1417 01:25:43,412 --> 01:25:44,412 JORDAN: How's Buster doing? 1418 01:25:44,512 --> 01:25:45,512 EVAN: Come on, Buster. 1419 01:25:45,612 --> 01:25:48,012 JOAN: No, come on. Come on! RYAN: Come on! 1420 01:25:48,112 --> 01:25:49,913 EVAN: These too heavy? It's all right? JORDAN: No, it's fine. 1421 01:25:49,913 --> 01:25:51,013 RYAN: He can't keep up. 1422 01:25:51,113 --> 01:25:52,413 I know, sweetie! 1423 01:25:52,413 --> 01:25:55,614 All right. What do you say we take a little break? 1424 01:25:55,714 --> 01:25:57,314 We've only been walking for, like, five minutes, Dad. 1425 01:25:57,414 --> 01:26:00,614 Well, five on, five off. Life is about balance, right? 1426 01:26:00,714 --> 01:26:02,015 How about some sandwiches? Okay. 1427 01:26:02,115 --> 01:26:03,715 Who wants sandwiches? Let's do it! 1428 01:26:03,815 --> 01:26:05,015 RYAN: I get first dibs! 1429 01:26:05,015 --> 01:26:07,416 Everyone but Buster is going to get a sandwich. 1430 01:26:07,416 --> 01:26:11,816 You do not get a sandwich! You're a dog and you do 1431 01:26:11,916 --> 01:26:15,117 Buster is part of the family now. You're just gonna have to get used to it. 1432 01:26:15,217 --> 01:26:17,017 Poor Buster! 1433 01:26:17,817 --> 01:26:20,918 Honey, come here. Sweetheart, be careful. Come here. 1434 01:26:21,018 --> 01:26:22,918 Hey, hon, save me one, okay? Okay. 1435 01:26:22,918 --> 01:26:24,118 I'll be right back. 1436 01:26:32,720 --> 01:26:34,120 Hey. Hey. 1437 01:26:35,920 --> 01:26:37,420 What are you doing here? 1438 01:26:38,220 --> 01:26:40,621 Just hanging out with some old friends. 1439 01:26:40,721 --> 01:26:44,021 You knew all along, didn't you? You knew the dam was unstable. 1440 01:26:44,121 --> 01:26:47,922 If it hadn't been for the ark, my family, the neighbors... 1441 01:26:48,022 --> 01:26:50,222 I fought you every step of the way. 1442 01:26:50,322 --> 01:26:51,823 Yes, but you did it. 1443 01:26:52,823 --> 01:26:57,423 So, you had nothing to do with the flood? Like where the ark landed exactly? 1444 01:26:57,423 --> 01:27:00,924 I gave you a little shove at the end. Sue me. 1445 01:27:01,024 --> 01:27:02,024 (BOTH CHUCKLING) 1446 01:27:03,524 --> 01:27:07,225 You did good, son. You changed the world. 1447 01:27:07,325 --> 01:27:08,725 No, no, I didn't. 1448 01:27:08,825 --> 01:27:10,025 Well, let's see. 1449 01:27:10,025 --> 01:27:14,126 Spending time with your family, making them very happy. 1450 01:27:14,226 --> 01:27:15,526 Gave that dog a home. 1451 01:27:15,626 --> 01:27:17,527 Right. So? 1452 01:27:18,227 --> 01:27:19,927 So? 1453 01:27:19,927 --> 01:27:22,127 How do we change the world? 1454 01:27:23,628 --> 01:27:27,128 One act of random kindness at a time. 1455 01:27:27,128 --> 01:27:31,729 One act of random kindness. 1456 01:27:31,829 --> 01:27:32,929 EVAN: Wow. 1457 01:27:36,930 --> 01:27:38,230 It's time. 1458 01:27:40,230 --> 01:27:41,730 Do the dance. 1459 01:27:43,231 --> 01:27:44,831 Care to join me? 1460 01:27:50,732 --> 01:27:51,732 (CHUCKLING) 1461 01:28:06,834 --> 01:28:07,835 (DOVE COOING) 1462 01:28:41,340 --> 01:28:44,140 I now issue a new commandment, 1463 01:28:44,140 --> 01:28:46,241 "Thou shalt do the dance." 1464 01:28:46,341 --> 01:28:48,041 (GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT, EVERYBODY DANCE NOW PLAYING) 1465 01:29:42,149 --> 01:29:43,650 (LIP-SYNCING) 1466 01:29:48,350 --> 01:29:51,551 Stop it! This is stupid! 1467 01:29:51,651 --> 01:29:54,851 That's awful dancing! You better stop! 1468 01:30:00,652 --> 01:30:19,455 (LIP-SYNCING) 1469 01:30:27,757 --> 01:30:29,457 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1470 01:30:33,157 --> 01:30:35,258 MAN 1: Ladies and gentlemen, you don't have to go home. 1471 01:30:35,358 --> 01:30:37,958 You just have to go. We are wrapped. 1472 01:30:38,058 --> 01:30:40,759 MAN 2: We're wrapped. We love you. Thank you. 1473 01:30:41,559 --> 01:30:43,559 (READY FOR A MIRACLE PLAYING)