Frequently, if a client has been cleared of a block by using EFT, the problem may be gone forever, or only require a few "booster" tapping sessions at home before the treatment really "takes."

But what of the issues which, having been successfully tapped on, still need to be assimilated into a person’s life pattern to have their greatest effect? The way a person has lived their life up until now – their self-image and habitual ways of being — can work against even the most beneficial changes, and although they may not wipe out the gains made, they can make these gains less pervasive and influential. In this event we will not have gotten everything we could out of that stunning switch in perspective that can occur with EFT.

Here is where the use of "Choices" (a form of affirmation which I find more effective in many instances than the straight declarative form) comes in. I’ve found that the "Choices" method can assist a client to consolidate and make permanent the beneficial changes brought about by EFT, thus helping these EFT-created changes to generalize to many aspects of the person’s life. When that happens, we see true transformation.

Let me give you an example.

"Tara" came into therapy for help with intermittent depression and marital problems. She is an accomplished singer who grew up in a world of theatre people. Her mother played a regular bit part on a TV series, her father was a well-known TV director. Their friends were all show biz people.

An only child, Tara recalls that she was always dressed up in "adorable" clothes with an ever-different colored bow in her soft blonde curls. She would often recite Longfellow poems and do a little tap dance at age 3 to excited rounds of applause from their guests, which of course was the highest form of compliment from show people. At superficial glance one might conclude that she was "over-valued" since her every move was subjected to exaggerated attention (either praise or criticism), and her mother professed incredible pride and seemed to glory in her daughter’s achievements, never missing a detail of one of her recitals. In fact, the mother seemed almost to have lived vicariously through her daughter, enjoying a triumph that she had never achieved in her own modest career.

When Tara came into therapy she acted as though she had "no identity" of her own, and this became a main focus for her treatment. In her year and a half of therapy we have made heavy use of EFT, with many sessions of tapping on her original family situation, on her fear of being more successful than her pretty actress mother, on her fear of failing to please her "highly directive" director father, and on the depression she feels today when she isn’t getting what she considers enough attention (no applause in other words) from others.

During this time, Tara has changed remarkably. She now walks with dignity where before she seemed to flutter into a room. She now speaks more slowly and with a new sincerity and directness that make her come across as a "real person" to others for the first time. Her life in general, and her relationships have become much more real and very much richer. It often seems as though I am greeting a different person when she walks into the office.

Despite all these gains, however, she still had a residual sadness in her face, the look of a person gazing at some far away painful scene.

When she came for a session recently, her sadness had come to the surface (which was good because now we could deal with it directly), and as we tapped on the sadness, it became evident that it was not due to anything in the present, nor was it about her being forced in childhood to uphold a facade for their guests — none of that. In fact, it was not about attention per se — rather it was about being in people’s awareness, having them AWARE of her.

In the middle of this session, Tara’s eyes lowered, and she became silent. Then she said in a low voice: "It’s not about my worry about pleasing people anymore — that’s doesn’t bother me the way it did. It’s just that, attention or no attention, , and no matter how much she SAID she loved me, and no matter how much she boasted about me — my mother wasn’t really AWARE of ME." Her eyes welled up with tears as she spoke about this, and she explained that even when she had performed beautifully, and tap-danced and sung and recited the way her parents wanted her to, that she now realized that her mother never really saw the real "her."

"She saw the little puppet she’d created. She was so proud of that puppet, but she never saw ME…." She said. Here was a source of some of the deepest sadness within Tara — and we were able, gently and with respect for the difficulty it was for her to articulate this, to dissipate this painful memory through quietly tapping on it:

"…even though Mommy never really saw me…"

"…even though Mommy didn’t know I was there…"

"...even though her eyes didn’t really look at me…"

As she tapped away, a quiet came over Tara, a peace I hadn’t seen there before.

There was a new clarity in her eye as she said very slowly, "I never — really — realized this before. She saw the performer. She loved her. She never saw me…" She then said that she had a peaceful feeling about this and that it was a tremendous relief to have faced it and been able to tap right on it, not on issues "around it". It was clear that this was a turning point for Tara.

I knew how fundamental the session had been and I wanted to help her consolidate her gain, to allow this insight and understanding to become a basis for her life from now on. To help this along, I suggested that we make a few "Choices" relating to what she had discovered. She was familiar with making Choices since we’d used them a number of times during her therapy. So she worked with me to create several to take home with her.

These choices evolved from a discussion which she and I then had about how we can "see" and respect ourselves even though someone as vital in our life as a parent may not have been truly aware of us as a child. Our discussion led to Tara realizing that her mother had not seen "her" (but only the little budding stage star) because the mother had never seen herself as real, but only as a would-be "star." None of this was because because she didn’t love Tara. Love had nothing to do with it. It was her mother’s sense of insignificance that was the factor operating here.

This was a time of deep understanding for Tara, a melting of a resentment she had carried around against her mother for years. She realized now that the two of them had both been caught in the same dilemma--that both had felt they were nonentities.

Several Choices (which Tara took home with her to work on) came out of this session, each dealing with a slightly different aspect of the problem and stating her preferred solution for it. These were worded as follows:

"I choose to know and love the ‘real’ me, even if Mommy couldn’t."

"I choose to understand why Mommy could never ‘see’ me."

"I choose to feel close to Mommy because we both had the same problem."

And finally,

"I choose to allow my real self to be seen."

This was probably the most important choice of all for Tara because she had been terribly afraid to take this chance before.

She took home the little blue cards with her choices written on them (I’ll explain the process in a moment) and has used them ever since. The feeling that she could "know my real self" has grown in her as a result of this to a point where she has been largely able to dispense with the facade she had had all her life.

She is now an intentionally fine and studied performer on stage (in fact she claims to be an even better one now) but unlike before, she is now able to be a ‘real’ person off stage, one whom she genuinely likes and respects, as do many others. Her choices have strongly reinforced the insights she gained during the EFT process.

If you would like to make use of Choices to consolidate gains made with EFT, here is the procedure I use:

1. At the end of an EFT session, when we have cleared, or partly cleared, important emotional blocks, I will suggest that the client formulate, along with me, a meaningful choice or series of choices (the latter covers more than one aspect) relating to the issue they have just been tapping on.
    

2. I then write down each choice for them, using their exact words, on a 3" by 5" card (usually light blue colored), a separate card for each choice, and hand these to the client at the end of the session. This little ritual has the effect of serving as a symbolic gift from me and is almost always treated with respect and seriousness because of this.
    

3. I then instruct the client to read over their choices at home, out loud, twice a day (at a minimum) — when first waking in the morning, and before going to sleep at night. They may carry the cards with them and read aloud the choices when they find themselves with spare moments during the day — such as in the car waiting for a traffic light to change, etc. Many people do this and some have even recorded their choices and listened to them on tape as they drive.
    

4. I tell the client not to bother to think about what is on the card between times, rather to just read aloud each choice once and then let it slip out of their mind, to enter their "subconscious" mind, which will do the work FOR them. That is, in fact, exactly what happens.
    

5. After that, from time to time during therapy, I will inquire about how a particular choice is progressing (is it manifesting in their life? If so, how?) since I keep a record of their choices in the patient records.

As a reminder, a way of wording a "Choice" for a person with a fear of public speaking would be, "I choose to feel confident and at ease when speaking before groups". This is different from a traditional form of affirmation addressing the same issue which would be, "I am confident and at ease when speaking before groups." Both are productive ways of using affirmations, but they differ somewhat in their effects, and in my experience are different in terms of their likelihood of being accepted by the average client.

There are of course times when I find traditional affirmations to be more suitable with EFT or with other forms of therapy, I’ll speak about this later, but for the most part I use Choices to help carry over the effects of an EFT session into a client’s everyday life. I have found this extremely helpful in solidifying changes outside of treatment sessions.

Choices seem to be more acceptable to many people because the conventional affirmation, which asserts that something is "so" in present time (which another part of the same person perceives as NOT being so), tends to invite what Gary has referred to as "tail-enders" (unspoken thoughts and reservations about the affirmation which can rob it of its effectiveness). Of course this isn’t the only reason or even the primary reason that people have tail-enders, but my thinking goes like this – Why invite trouble? If we can make an affirmation more comfortable and inviting by casting it in the form of a Choice - Why not do that?

Familiarity and positive associations play a big role here. Choices are not perceived as "far out" because we all make choices every day and "having a choice" in a situation versus "having no choice" is clearly preferable. This is important because when we use EFT we are asking the average person to do a pretty unorthodox thing— tapping on acupoints. And I find it helpful not to stretch their acceptance of new and unusual things too far by following this with the suggestion that they use a traditional affirmation — unless the person is very used to and comfortable with these.

The use of Choices has been a pillar of my practice for years now and has enabled me to help my clients bring about transformations in their lives, not just symptom alleviation. It has helped to make permanent some magnificent insights that have appeared in the course of EFT. I estimate that about 75% of my sessions with clients at the present time end up with us formulating some "Personal Choices" which the client then takes home and uses. This procedure facilitates our therapy work by a multiple I can only guess at.

Another advantage of this approach is that making a Choice puts the person in the "Driver’s Seat" in their life. The person making a choice is exercising their will, deciding on and committing to a course of action. I have found that this freely entered into commitment can have a powerful influence on the desired result, often making it more likely to be obtained. It doesn’t by-pass the ego of the person in the manner that the traditional affirmation does, but instead it engages the ego (or self) in the process. Since it also accepts the reality of the present state of affairs, this makes for a healthy juxtaposition of present reality and desired outcome — creating a strong pull toward the latter.

One way of using Choices — it’s a way that can also be used with traditional affirmations, although I’ve seldom seen this done — is that the "tail-enders", which almost always exist as Gary points out in The Palace of Possibilities (http://www.emofree.com/palace/palaceof1.htm#4) can often be handled by the wording of the Choice itself.

A client of mine, "Judy" provides an example of this. She wanted to move into a "beautiful, sunny, spacious apartment" but had not been able to get herself to do the things required to bring about such a move. Clearly there were hidden issues blocking her, and as we tapped on "Even though I’m afraid I’ll never find that great apartment," her thoughts tuned to her older sister who was resentful about having to live in her own dingy walk-up. This sister had been jealous of Judy all their lives. Judy had been prettier and more popular from day one, but had always tried to please her sister whom she had looked up to greatly as a child.

As she tapped, Judy realized that her need for her sister’s love was an important factor blocking her from going all out to obtain a new apartment, and so we turned to working on this aspect:

"Even though (sister’s name) will be jealous of me if I get a great
 apartment…."

"Even though she won’t love me if I get a great apartment…"

"Even though she’ll be mad at me if I get a great apartment…" etc.

We continued until Judy’s SUD level (her emotional intensity rating on a 0-10 scale) had come down to zero. She was now able to visualize herself going out and actively seeking the apartment, and finding it.

When we came to the end of this session we formulated a Choice for her to take home and work with (I describe this process in my former post). Since the need for a family member’s love is likely to have many aspects to it, some of which we had not handled as yet, I wanted to facilitate her dealing with this issue outside of therapy and so suggested that she build into her Choice a phrase that would address the potential tail-ender. The wording we settled on for her Choice was:

"I choose to feel loved while living in a beautiful, spacious, sunny apartment.".

Notice that I didn’t suggest she say "I choose to have my sister love me while...etc." We can’t choose for another person how they should feel or act or be — only for ourselves. So instead I suggested she formulate the Choice so that she would have a subjective feeling of being loved as she lived in that apartment. We can choose to have any feeling that we want.

This simultaneously addressed her wish for a lovely apartment and the tail-ender at the same time. While we had to do some more tapping on other aspects of this issue in the next therapy session, Judy was actively looking for apartments and getting the word out among friends by the time she arrived for her session. Within three weeks she had found a ‘beautiful, sunny, spacious apartment’ which she moved into confidently.

Of course, people sometimes find a choice such as "feeling loved" very difficult to make. If so, then we can use EFT to deal with that issue. After removing some of the blocks, we can then help them formulate some additional all-encompassing choices such as: "I choose to feel lovable;" or "I choose to feel loved," or address deservedness issues through a Choice.

An occasional person may experience the Choice phraseology as setting the goal off in the future and therefore as less compelling than the direct traditional form of affirmation. I have rarely found this to be the case, however. My experience has been that the "subconscious" does not interpret the wording of a Choice in this manner. I can’t count the number of times a Choice made by a client, or one of my friends, or me, has been realized — whether two hours from the moment they conceived of the choice, or three weeks from the date it was first used daily, or a year, or whenever.

Much of what I’ve been saying about the use of affirmations with EFT applies in most cases to all affirmations, be they couched as Choices or as direct reframes of present reality as in traditional affirmations. I find that the traditional forms of affirmation can be superbly effective in certain therapeutic contexts and the method of choice for them. For example, when I use Gary’s Advanced EFT intuiting technique (where he suggests progressive changes in phrasing to deal with core issues while the client taps the karate chop point) I have found that by using direct statements and affirmations, with no "frills" or anything else to impede the process, I can go right to the heart of the matter and join with the client in a deep and complete sense. It would be inappropriate to water down these powerful statements in any way.

Also, there are some global issues that seem to cry out for a direct statement — they seem to be beyond choice. For example, a client of mine had been struggling with an issue of individuation — she constantly saw herself through her mother’s eyes ("What would Mom think about this?"). After she had dealt with some of the issues around her mother in therapy, she made this Choice to help her progress— it followed from an insight that had come to her during tapping:

"The real me is known only to me and God."

It would have been inappropriate to have formulated this as a Choice as in, "I CHOOSE to have the real me known only to me and God." This client’s belief system fully supported the affirmation she had made and to artificially introduce an act of choice here could have watered down the impact of the affirmation. In fact, her affirmation turned out to be extremely helpful for this young woman, reminding her repeatedly as she worked with it at home of her existence apart from her mother, in a very positive way.

Never underestimate the power of the Internet — or, for that matter, of this List! What I’m going to share with you today is a discovery that came about as a result of my posts here concerning the use of "Choices" with EFT. (Choices are affirmations which differ from the traditional ones in that the statement of desired outcome is preceded by the words, "I choose to…" instead of by a simple declarative phrase such as "I am, I have").

Several subscribers to this List wrote to thank me for suggesting that they introduce Choices into the EFT Set-Up phrase. The universe works in strange ways — actually I had not suggested that particular use, but here were people applying it with intriguing results. Also, Christine Sutherland (Director of the Meridian Therapies List), who had not thought that I suggested it but had thought it a natural thing to try, wrote me about several successes she has had using Choices in this way. Clearly this new use for Choices was "out there in the air" for people to pick up on.

This "serendipitous" happening struck me as possibly an important lead in disguise, so I set out to investigate the use of Choices in the set-up phrase by trying this out on myself first, something I regularly do when exploring a new possibility. I was immediately impressed by its effects on me and, when I used it with my clients, I obtained similar positive results. Accordingly, I have combined the new "Choice Set-Up" with my Alternate Phrase technique, refined this approach, and mapped out guidelines for its use. I think it may be of use to us all.

In the "Choice Set-Up," you replace the self-acceptance affirmation used at the end of the EFT set-up phrase by a Choice addressing the problem at hand. The reminder phrase that follows can take several forms. Which one is selected in a particular instance is determined by the judgment of the therapist and the preferences of the client. The reminder phrase can be:

1. Just the negative portion of the set-up phrase (the "even though" part, without the "even though"). I find this to be the best approach when a person is so overwhelmed by a negative emotion that they simply cannot contemplate anything positive at that point.
    

2. Both the negative portion AND the positive portion of the set-up phrase, used with in alternate rounds of the treatment. In this method the negative portion of the set-up phrase is used throughout the first round, and the positive portion (the Choice) is used throughout the second round. The two rounds are in a sense coupled and constitute a single "treatment" sequence. If more work needs to be done, then the alternating rounds (a negative round followed by a positive round) is repeated as many times as necessary. This sequencing links up a negative cognition with a positive one, something I will talk about in a minute.
    

3. Just the positive portion of the set-up phrase (that is, the Choice itself). I find this to be particularly useful when the person has already cleared out enough of their negative feelings so that they can now contemplate the positive in full force. I often use it to wind up the tapping series.

Will the Choice Set-Up ever replace the valuable self-acceptance phrase which has been the mainstay of our EFT practice? Actually I do not think we need to or should choose between the two. Both approaches seem to be useful in their own right, and each can be the preferred method under certain circumstances. In a later post, I will discuss when I am finding one or the other to be more useful for a particular purpose.

To give you an idea of how the Choice Set-Up works out in practice, here is how one of my clients, "Brian", used it recently. Brian was driving to an interview which was very important to him when he found himself caught in a traffic jam and realized that he was now going to be late for this appointment. Being an experienced EFTer, he decided to do some tapping on himself. Ordinarily he would have used the standard EFT Set-Up phrase, which might have gone, "Even though I feel furious and anxious about the delay, I deeply and completely accept myself." As we all know, this might well have reduced his distress. However, he decided to try the Choice Set-Up he learned from me earlier in the week, and tells me that its effect on him seems to have been even more positive than when he used the standard set-up phrase in the past.

In the Choice Set-Up, the person is to come up with a Choice which is the direct opposite of their unwanted state, in a sense an antidote to it. So Brian picked, "Even though I feel furious and anxious, I choose to have this unexpected delay work to my advantage." Of course he could just as easily have said, "I choose to be calm and confident when I walk in for the interview" or made some other Choice which could have counteracted the problem he was experiencing. The only rule he had to follow was that it would have had to be a targeted statement aimed at the specific challenge he was facing, rather than a general self-acceptance statement.

He used as his reminder phrase, "I feel furious and anxious about the delay," which was the negative portion of his set-up phrase. After tapping on this for several rounds, his SUD level (rating of distress on a 0-10 point scale) was now almost down to a zero (the familiar EFT success story) and he felt relaxed and philosophical about his problem. However, the full effectiveness of this approach was yet to be seen. After a few more minutes of waiting, the police loudspeakers announced that all traffic was being re-routed through another town. Because this rather long detour meant adding 20 to 30 minutes to his trip, Brian was jolted out of his relaxed state. In his words his stomach "tightened as though in a vise."

What happened next is what is of special interest here. Immediately following this initial negative reaction, Brian seemed to hear the faint and muffled words in his mind, "I choose to have this unexpected delay work to my advantage." This optimistic thought seemed to pull him out of the negative state and he found himself thinking instead about how he could tell his interviewers on the cell phone about this delay in such a way that he would come across as wonderfully cool under trying circumstances, something that could only serve him well in the eventual interview.

As he drove on, he used the time to plan out how he would condense his presentation when he did arrive so that the interviewers would be impressed with his on-the-spot resourcefulness. Actually, he was so pleased with the way he was able to map this out that he entered the interview with a confidence that apparently did impress them, for he was approved for the transfer to another division of his company (which was the reason he had sought this interview).

This positive shift in attitude after using the Choice Set-Up seems to be typical of many people. Although I or others may not recall the actual words of our Choices when confronted by a later challenge as Brian did, we often find ourselves experiencing our chosen positive state when our original negative state (the "negative cognition") is set-off again by some new challenge.

But WHY should this happen? What mechanism could be at work here? This is an important question. My hunch is that the Choice Set-Up establishes a strong "link" (in psychological terms a "conditioned response") between the person’s negative cognition (the "Even though...." phrase) and his or her positive cognition (the "I choose...." phrase). This link, I think, is created at a very deep level because of the highly suggestible state brought about by the tapping. EFT provides a superb condition for creating positive cognitions and deepening insights, as witness the effectiveness of Gary’s Advanced EFT Techniques where the client is open to deeper and deeper insights and self-confrontations as the tapping proceeds.

Once a link is formed between a person’s negative cognition and their positive Choice, the negative cognition now becomes a trigger that automatically evokes the positive Choice each time it is activated. For those familiar with Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), the negative cognition has now become an "anchor" for that person’s positive Choice, automatically calling it forth. If we think about it, what could possibly be better?

Such a process would have important implications for our lives because in most problematic situations, a negative reaction (thoughts of doom, of being trapped, of one’s stomach ache, etc.) tend to occur not just once, but repeatedly. In the case of an adverse physical condition, for example, thoughts about it can occur hundreds of times in a single day as the annoying condition (such as a running nose or sore throat) intrudes itself repeatedly on our consciousness Each time it does, the positive Choice in our set-up and reminder phrases will be triggered in our minds. Do you know what repetition does to ensure that something "takes" in our psyche’s? Everything!! It is an invaluable aid to change.

I find that a switch from a negative to a positive attitude tends to occur when using a Choice Set-Up (that is more specific to the problem at hand) than when we use the standard self-acceptance phrase — except, as I said, under those circumstances which seem to respond more readily to the self-acceptance phrase (as I promised, I will address these in a future post).

I now find myself using the Choice Set-Up in EFT rather than the standard self-acceptance phrase about 90-95% of the time with myself, and about 80% of the time with my clients, probably because my extensive experience with Choices allows me to handle them more easily than others may at first. In a future post I will talk about the rules that govern effective Choice making, but since many of these are similar to the guidelines which govern effective affirmation-creating in general, you may want to review Gary’s excellent discussion of these in The Palace of Possibilities (see http://www.emofree.com/palace/palaceof1.htm#4).

I am becoming increasingly impressed with the potential of EFT to foster goal-directed inner growth AS WELL AS (note emphasis here!) its undeniably wonderful ability to alleviate distress. For this reason I have been looking for ways to use positive "Choices" in EFT to formulate more specific and purposeful goals for people using it. I find that healing is promoted if we have fulfillment, joy and a sense of meaning, and Choices can be used effectively to foster these attitudes.

Along these lines I’d like to share with you some recent observations I have made about the Choice process as it has been working for my client "Joan", whose story illustrates both the stress-reduction AND the personal fulfillment potentials of EFT.

Joan, has been in therapy for over a year. She originally consulted me for a weight problem coupled with a pervasive low-grade depression. Until recently, however, she has made only modest progress in her therapy despite the fact that we have used EFT extensively. We addressed some deeply troubling issues such as (1) her deep shame and hatred of her body and (2) various aspects of her father’s verbal abuse of her as a child (for example, when he would refer to her, while driving, as "that fat pig in the back seat" in front of other children and her family). While there had been some useful clearing of the emotional pain around that and other incidents, the fact was that Joan was not getting significantly better.

This troubled me, and finally I reluctantly suggested that she might need to see a physician for some form of anti-depressant medication to assist her therapy along. This was because her depression was the kind that so often accompanies overweight problems (whereby food is used as a means of self-medication, helping her to avoid depression). Joan refused my suggestion to seek medication, however, stating that she wanted to handle it on her own.

Joan is a tall, heavy-boned young woman with a pretty face half hidden by cascades of almost jet black wavy hair. She is intelligent and perceptive but there is a sadness about her, and her speech is often interrupted by sighs. She has had a lifelong struggle with overweight and has worked with one support group and diet system after another in an effort to cope with it. Although she is not grossly obese, she is distinctly too heavy for her own health and her potential attractiveness is obscured by the overweight.

Little by little Joan and I have made inroads in her sense of failure and self-belittlement — tap, tap, tap — but often treating her has seemed as though we were managing to lift up her spirits by the end of one session, only to have her return for her next appointment with sadness and hopelessness in her eyes again. It felt as though we were trying to lift a heavy bag of sand while one side of it kept sagging back down again.

Recently, however, this discouraging situation has dramatically shifted and Joan is now making major gains in her therapy. This came about after two new ingredients were introduced into our work together. I began to use Carol Look’s Weight Loss Program with Joan and I combined this approach with the use of strategic Choices in EFT designed to counteract each of the core problems that Carol identifies in her program.

This has enabled Joan to uncover a number of core issues that she had not identified before. At each session, we go through Carol’s list of possible EFT phrases one by one (a few at each session), with Joan identifying those that seem to hit the spot, as well as those that appear irrelevant to her and don’t "ring a bell". When we uncover a compelling issue we address it by making a custom-designed (that is, just for Joan) Choice which can counteract it.

It often takes some time for Joan and myself working together to formulate just the right positive Choice for each issue, but we have found that the time we spend honing in on the most appropriate Choices is well spent. When we hit on the phrase that is the exact opposite of the negative ( "even though …" ) statement, it can be startlingly effective

Formulating the Choice that fits the bill takes some work on our parts because Joan, like most of us, does not always find it easy to think up a Choice about a new way of being that will represent true healing of her problem rather than be a superficial "band aid" kind of change. Most people have a very limited idea of what is possible for them and what is most desirable in the long run. Here is where another person’s viewpoint, such as that of a therapist, can be extremely valuable.

Following this procedure we have hit on what Joan has referred to as "real eye-openers", possibilities for new ways of being that she has not thought about before but which have turned out to be deeply healing for her. I will give some examples of this process later. But first let me share with you the protocol which I am using for the EFT Choice technique. I call it the "Choice Trio". It is turning out to be the most effective way of using the Choice method that I have yet worked with. Here is how it goes:

First take the initial SUD rating (a measure of distress on a 0 to 10 point scale) then proceed with the following steps:

5. Do ONE round of EFT using the negative cognition ONLY as the reminder phrase. For example, "I’m afraid of public speaking" repeated at each acupoint in the standard EFT protocol.
    

6. Follow this immediately (without checking SUD or doing another set-up) by ONE round using the Choice statement ONLY as the reminder phrase. For example, "I choose to feel wonderfully at ease when speaking in front of groups," repeated at each acupoint in the standard EFT sequence.
    

7. Follow this immediately (without checking SUD or doing another set-up) by ONE round using the Alternate Phrase Technique. This works as follows: At the first acupoint (Inner Eyebrow) use the negative cognition as the reminder phrase, at the next (Outer Eye) acupoint use the positive Choice as the reminder phrase, at the next (Under Eye) acupoint again use the negative cognition as the reminder phrase etc. Continue until you end at the karate chop point which allows the person to end the sequence with a positive Choice, an important factor as I will explain later. If you end the sequence at the under arm spot, the person ends up making a negative statement, an undesirable condition— however if the EFT shortcut sequence is used just add another point at the end. For example, the person can jump from underarm spot to karate chop spot, in order for the sequence to end up with a positive Choice.
    

8. Retake the SUD rating and if more work is needed, repeat the Trio (points 5, 6 and 7 above) as many times as necessary. In effect, the Trio serves as an extended "round".

This constitutes the Choice Trio. It can of course be varied according to the needs of the person. For example, if they are still too upset to contemplate using a positive Choice statement as a reminder phrase, then step 1 of the Trio (just using the negative cognition) should be repeated for several consecutive rounds until some of the charge has been taken off of it and the person is ready to proceed to the next step

I find many advantages to using the Choice Set-Up in this manner. For one thing, the initial negative round (or rounds) serve to remove the negative charge from the problem as in standard EFT, and I find that this negative charge must be removed first before any positive installation can be fully effective.

The complete round which uses only the positive Choice, (when the person is ready for it, that is) can have a profoundly stabilizing effect very early in the treatment, often serving to de-traumatize the person almost instantly concerning the problem at hand. In my observation, it serves a "rescue" function just as the Tearless Trauma Technique does because by using it the person does not have to drown in the emotional pain of the event. This fact is deeply appreciated and can make cooperation with the treatment much easier.

I find it is most important to begin with the negative reminder phrase first— whether this occurs through the whole round of the negative Choice (Step 1 of the Trio) followed by a whole round of the Choice (Step 2 of the Trio), or if we alternate negative and positive cognitions (Step 3 of the Trio). The reason order is so important here is that one of the most essential aspects of the Choice method is to have negative cognitions (thoughts/attitudes) followed by awareness of their positive desired outcomes. This results in direct LINKING of the negative with the positive — what NLP used to call "chaining". This is a simple and powerful device. Using it, a negative thought can become an "anchor" (NLP term for a "trigger") for a positive thought, so that in the future every time this person thinks of this negative possibility, the positive thought is likely to pop into their mind right afterwards.

An example of this is the case of a colleague of mine who recently contracted a bad cold two days before she was to leave for Mexico on a very important trip. She had been tapping for the cold to no avail, but when on my suggestion she formulated the set-up phrase, "Even  though I have this terrible cold, I choose to be comfortable and healthy on my flight  to Mexico." (and followed this by the appropriate reminder phrases and the Trio) she felt better, and by the next day had no cold symptoms AND she had a "comfortable and healthy" trip to Mexico.

What is particularly interesting though is that for the first day after the EFT treatment, whenever she found herself blowing her nose and thinking "I have this terrible cold!" thoughts of a comfortable and healthy trip to Mexico seemed to jump into her mind. This suggests that the negative cognition had begun to trigger a positive one. I believe this may be the main reason why the Choice Set-up, or any variation of it such as discussed by Mair Llewellyn-Edwards in a recent post, works so well.

In this post I’m continuing my report on "Joan", my client who has struggled with an underlying depression, sense of hopelessness and overweight for many years.

As Joan was giving her reactions to the set-up phrases suggested in Carol Look's program, the first one that struck her as possibly applying to her situation was:

"Even though I feel hurt about being abandoned..."

She explained that although she didn’t exactly feel "abandoned", having been an "army brat" as a child had made her constantly lose contact with friends important to her. Her family had moved from one army post to another during her childhood and sometimes she had had to attend two different schools, each far distant from each other, within one year. Any friends she made had been fleeting, expendable and impermanent. Food, however, had always been there for her — a constant, predictable and dependable thing. The statement that Joan came up with for the negative portion of her set-up phrase was:

"Even though I don’t want to let go of my only dependable friend, food…"

We then searched for a positive Choice to counteract her feeling of loss of a friend if she didn’t have the food she wanted. This took some work because Joan could not at first think of any phrase without the word "not" in it, and a negative Choice is not a good one. My first suggestion for a Choice for her didn’t land — it just didn’t feel right to Joan — but then she came up with the following Choice which felt very meaningful to her. It was:

"I choose to have serenity and peace within myself, no matter what."

She used this statement in what I call the "Choice Trio." As outlined in my previous post, this consists of the Choice Set-Up followed by three consecutive rounds of EFT conducted in the following way:

1. Choice Set-Up (including the negative statement, "even though," and the positive statement (Choice) — all in one sentence.
    

2. One complete round of EFT using the negative statement ONLY as a reminder phrase. In this round Joan repeated "I don’t want to let go of my only dependable friend, food…" while tapping at each acupoint.
    

3. One round using the positive statement (the Choice) ONLY as the reminder phrase, in this round Joan repeated "I choose to have serenity and peace no matter what" while tapping at each acupoint.
    

4. One final round using the negative statement on the first acupoint, the positive one on the next acupoint, the negative on the following acupoint etc., and alternating in this fashion for the entire round.

This strategy had an immediate positive impact on Joan who spontaneously commented, "That was very calming to me. Thinking of the lack of dependability of people in my life, it  felt so good to have that choice."

Then, as happens when things start flowing in a session, she brought up another topic.

She had not been able to stick to a "Shake" diet called Metafast which she had been using successfully for over a year. It substitutes shakes for much of her food, and this had seemed to be effective and healthy for her, and much easier for her to follow than a regular diet. But now something seemed missing without the more fattening food.

To work on this issue she chose as her negative statement: "Even though I haven’t been  able to stick to Metafast".

The next task was to come up with a positive Choice. What could directly contradict, and potentially solve this problem for her?

After careful thought, she formulated a simple, almost obvious type of Choice, "I choose to  stick with Metafast and feel comforted." It’s not too often that one has to resort to such a direct opposite statement for the Choice, but when it’s appropriate it can be extremely effective, even when first saying it may sound absurd to the person. But remember that the EFT default self-acceptance statement, "I deeply and profoundly accept myself", can also sound absurd to some people at first, but as it is repeated it can come to have deep meaning.

Joan decided on the set-up phrase, "Even though I haven’t been able to stick with  Metafast, I choose to stick with Metafast and feel comforted." To measure where she stood with it, I suggested that she use a Truth rating instead of the SUD Distress rating, also on a 10 point scale with the highest score perceived as absolutely True and the lowest (zero) as absolutely False (this procedure is derived from a somewhat similar one used in EMDR with a 7 point scale). When asked how true the positive statement (her Choice) seemed to her, Joan had only a "1" before she started tapping because it barely seemed possible to her that she could stick with the Metafast. After doing the trio, however, her confidence in the truth of that statement had risen to an 8, and she looked brighter and there was more color in her face.

She still had some concern about the fact that she had recently been "slipping" with her diet, so we addressed this directly in the next trio. Her next set-up phrase was: "Even though  I’ve been slipping with the Metafast, I choose to stick with the Metafast and feel  comforted". One more round of the trio and the positive statement was now completely believable to her — a 10 on the "truth" scale — and our session ended.

However, we were by no means finished with our exploration of the core issues that underlay her compulsive overeating. Although Joan returned for her next session with her spirits unusually high and was very encouraged about the progress she was making and above all about an inner feeling of optimism and well being she is now experiencing, she located another issue involving her weight problem.

"If I didn’t have my weight to obsess about I’d feel bored. I’m afraid of that." she said.

We needed a Choice which could counteract boredom and together we came up with one which seemed right to her — it was, "I Choose to find it (the lack of her usual comfort from  food) an exciting opportunity to try new things", and so she used the following set-up phrase — "Even though I would be bored if I didn’t have food to obsess about, I choose to  find it an  exciting opportunity to try new things."

Initially this positive statement was very low on the scale of believability for her, only a 2 or 3 rating for its "truth", but after doing the trio, it felt so true to her that its truth score had risen to an 8 or 9.

"It felt so good to put those two things together, the boredom and the excitement." She said. "I got good energy from doing that. I got a feeling like ‘What could I do instead that  would  be  exciting? I think I actually might think of some exciting things!"

But right after saying this she was stopped again with the thought — "But not eating all the  time would leave a gap in my life! I think I’m afraid of that gap!" This is what we so often see with a core issue, it may seem gone at first but it really isn’t yet because we’ve dealt with only one aspect of it. A lifelong issue tends to have many, many aspects.

We turned now to her fear of what she referred to as "the gap" that could occur in her life if she stopped over-eating. The sentence which she decided on was:

"Even though I’m afraid of the gap that might occur if I stop all that eating, I choose to have a sense of wonder and joy about life." She even smiled as she said this.

After tapping on it until those good feelings seemed "real" to her, she tried another related phrase to address some uncertainty that still lingered about thinking of things to fill the gap. Her next phrase was:

"Even though I’m uncertain about what to do about filling that gap, I choose to have a sense of wonder and joy about life.", and so on — tap, tap, tap.

Finally Joan heaved a sigh of relief. She was now down to a 2 on the SUD (10 point distress level), whereas she had started with a SUD of 9 when she had thought about the gap.

As usual, I handed Joan her Choice Set-Up statements written out on 3" x 5" cards to take home and read aloud to herself twice a day, morning and night, a method I find very effective in reinforcing the impact of EFT, and she left encouraged.

Since then Joan and I have been systematically working our way through the Weight Loss Program and she has been tapping on new and liberating Choices in her sessions. She now finds herself more diligent about her diet, less fanatic and considerably less self-punishing, and she no longer finds she needs Metafast, a more moderate approach seems to be working better for her. Her weight loss support group finds her new attitude extremely positive and so do I.

EFT often clears up an issue during a single therapy session so that, by the end of that session, it is a non-issue and the therapy moves swiftly forward. This can happen even when a client is in ongoing psychotherapy – ONE aspect will have been dealt with fully. It is wonderful when this happens.

Often, however, multiple deep-seated issues will need to be addressed repeatedly during a course of therapy, and sessions which use EFT productively can end on a somewhat difficult "to be continued" note. A lot may have cleared in that session and some aspects of a major problem handled, yet the client is left with mixed feelings. He/she can be uncertain and sometimes even in an emotionally unstable state. What to do? At the end of this kind of session, an obvious move is to establish a positive viewpoint before the close so that the person can reach a positive frame of mind between sessions.

Theoretically, EFT should be able to "install" this kind of positive affirmation or point of view. But in actual practice I’ve found that direct positive installation through EFT is usually not effective at this point. The reason for this goes back to Gary’s concept of "tail enders" which was so eloquently expressed in his "Palace of Possibilities". Tail-enders, for those of you who haven’t read about them, are those subliminal, automatic and often unrecognized inner reservations which often accompany an affirmation -- the "yes but.." in the back of the person’s mind which can block the effectiveness of the affirmation.

A positive installation is in essence an affirmation and if the person has an inner conflict– if they are not 100% congruent (in accord) with the positive statement -- then it simply doesn’t take. Even if they go through the motions of dutifully tapping on the positive statement, in the back of their minds there is still a "yes, but..." negating it.

How can we get around this problem when doing EFT? One way is to tap on the "tail ender" itself (the negative cognition) as Gary suggests, and this can be wonderfully effective with affirmations. I consider this one of the most useful observations about affirmations I have ever encountered. But here I was searching for another way to deal with inner conflicts which might arise during the EFT process, and an idea came to me while reading Silvia Hartmann-Kent’s book "Adventures in EFT" (a goldmine of creative ideas about using EFT). I got the notion that if there is a conflict operating in the person, then the most authentic and useful thing for them to do might be to tap on BOTH SIDES of the conflict when using EFT. A good way to do this, I thought, might be to alternate reminder phrases within the same EFT sequence. The person could tap on one acupoint while repeating a negative reminder phrase (such as "I’m afraid to talk in front of audiences") and then tap on the NEXT acupoint in the sequence while repeating a positive and subjectively convincing reminder phrase (such as "I talked up in a group the other day and they really liked what I said") – and then the person would go back and forth using negative and positive reminder phrases on alternate acupoints as they progressed through the EFT sequence. I decided to try this first on myself, something I do regularly with everything I might want to use with others. As I did so I immediately felt I was onto something. I felt a sense of being "understood" (by whom or what I didn’t know – probably it was by my own self!), and of being clear and honest with myself. I experienced relief at acknowledging BOTH sides of the conflict – looking at it all, so to speak.

What happened was that after several rounds of this approach an inner balance began to shift and the positive statement (it was on every other tap point) began to be real for me for the first time. It was convincing where before it had been just words that I said to myself. The shift within me became stronger and stronger as I continued. What had been initially rejected by me as "Well that’s a healthy point of view but it doesn’t feel real" became "Hey! That’s RIGHT! That’s a real possibility. Why don’t I choose to go that route?"

Things seemed to come together and I breathed a sigh of relief. Now I was able to go forward and adopt the positive position with my eyes open, rather than feeling I was kidding myself.

This incident happened about six months ago, and I’ve been using what I call the Alternate Phrase technique with my clients ever since with remarkable success. There are some other good uses for this method besides this one and I will write about these at another time, but let me tell you now how I recently used this approach in a session with a client.

"Peggy’s" experience is of interest both as an example of using this method to resolve a conflict and also because it illustrates another point -- how success is not always experienced as totally positive by the person – even when it is an outstanding success and PART of that person is overjoyed by it.

Peggy has been coming for therapy for more than a year on as regular a basis as her intensely demanding career allowed. She is an anchor woman at a large metropolitan TV network and spends much of her time on high intensity assignments.

She had made impressive progress over the course of a year and EFT has been an essential part of that therapy. She has used it strategically in virtually every session and has now come to a point where she can gently but firmly assert herself instead of seemingly apologizing for being alive, a former troublesome pattern. Her relationships have greatly improved and her direction in life clarified. Peggy has Grown Up over the course of the therapy.

A few months ago the network assigned her to cover in depth a major disaster in her state and to produce a series of feature news broadcasts on it which turned out to be so compelling that the series is now expected to win a national prize for media journalism. The network took her off all other work to cover this tragic event, and throughout the often grueling assignment, Peggy used EFT to cope with many conflicts that arose around dealing with the horror of the events themselves and with personal ramifications of the assignment. She eventually came to a place where she could stand by her own convictions about her work with remarkable strength and felt like a different person because of it.

Peggy came to see me the day after her TV series had won a national prize. The series was being rerun on the air and the station was receiving thousands of phone calls. When she entered my office, although she looked somewhat happy, she also looked a bit bewildered. I noticed that she was not really smiling with ease, or even smiling very much. She had a distinctly reserved demeanor, a slightly set jaw, and her eyes were wide and serious. After we had shared the details of her triumph ( I was quite excited by all this for her) I asked her how she was feeling "inside", now that she had received this recognition.

She said, "Even though things are going better than I ever thought they could, I somehow have a sort of uncomfortable feeling inside." She tapped on the "uncomfortable feeling", it was a 6 on a ten point scale. The rating remained exactly the same after the tapping and I realized that something was going on here that was other than superficial, some conflict around her triumph. When we talked about this she suddenly said, "Oh, I wanted to ask you about this! I’ve had a feeling like – when is the PROBLEM going to turn up? This whole thing is sort of too good. It’s kind of scary."

We were now on track and I asked her to tap on: "Even though I’m waiting for the Bad Thing to happen." She did this, but her intensity level was still a 6. She told me that while she was tapping she had been thinking about driving home after the session and wondering whether she would be safe on the road.

So we tapped on that, and the intensity remained a 6. We were clearly getting nowhere tapping on the negative, the maneuver which is usually so effective in EFT, and while we could have laboriously tried all kinds of other strategies at this point to deal with this and some of them might have eventually worked, I decided to use the Alternate Phrase method instead. I knew that the positive part of this situation was compelling for her, it was a genuine triumph which on one level she was thrilled about. But we were also encountering a negative side to this -– the When Will the Other Shoe Fall complex. Because this was obviously a deep seated problem which did not make any "sense" in present day terms, I asked her to go to the past for an answer.

"Do you remember a time in your life when something really NICE happened and something happened to spoil it?"

She was quiet for a moment then something came to her mind. No matter what nice thing had happened to her throughout her childhood, there was always the disrupted home, her alcoholic mother, the endless parental fights and the sense of not being like other kids because of her dysfunctional home life.

She tapped again. "No matter how happy I was, my mother still got drunk." and after one round looked at me in surprise. "That brought it way, way down" she said. I didn’t ask her exactly what her intensity level was. I could see from her face, however, that there was great relief and I didn’t want to interrupt the flow because memories were flooding now. "Christmas was always the happiest time" she said "But something always happened to spoil it."

She tapped on: "Christmases were always happy -- and always spoiled." "It’s getting lower." she reported " It seemed like a life and death situation at home all the time. I was terrified my mother would die from drinking. There was never one single carefree day. And the same thing with my first husband who drank too."

I mentioned the Sword of Damocles always about to fall, and she nodded in recognition. She tapped on: "I feel the sword of Damocles is always there."

More came up for her after that round, the insights which can be produced so quickly and profoundly with EFT. "Every time I have a big perfect day I worry about whether my niece and nephew will get home safely! It’s the SAME stuff!" she said.

She was now responding fully and I felt it was time to introduce at least one positive element into the reminder phrase. I suggested: "Things are going so well -- I’m afraid something is going to go wrong." At the end of this round she was down to a 2.

But there was still something there. It was clear from a slight puzzled look on her face as well as the rating. The issue was deep-seated. I suggested she tap on: "I think things can’t go this well without a crisis happening."

After this round she volunteered the information that while she was tapping she had been thinking about her friend "Jeanne" who has gone through life "without a crisis at all, except a very few normal ones". This is the point at which I decided Peggy was ready to learn a new, positive way of looking at life. I suggested she use the Alternate Phrase technique now in the following manner:

…and so on for the entire EFT sequence.

At the end of this round she cried: "It’s true! They HAVE gone through life that way!" (she was experiencing the same effect of the positive becoming much more real that I had experienced when I first tried this method). "It’s way down now, maybe a 1" she said.

I judged that it was more likely a zero. Color had come back into her face, a sparkle into her eyes, and her chin was now raised. She was ready to talk about her recent triumph with a sense of pride and an ability to consider her own best interests with respect to the furthering of her career. She had been afraid to address this before. She said that this was an entirely new way of looking at things for her and I had a feeling that an important shift had taken place.

In her next appointment with me Peggy was ready to tackle something which she had long avoided and commented that somehow the issue of fear about her triumph seemed to have almost entirely faded. The change was holding. It was real.

I think it important that the positive statement Peggy made was entirely convincing to her. It had emanated from her own comments and was not an artificial "pie in the sky" affirmation that someone else had handed to her. In my experience, using the client’s own words and observations from which to formulate the positive statement makes this method work much more effectively. To this end I will often ask questions designed to elicit the opposite of the negative cognition in terms of actual experiences in that person’s life. I’m looking for a positive resource that is embedded in their memory and which is then brought to life by using the Alternate Phrase technique.

I am writing this letter on the use of EFT Choices (a form of affirmation which substitutes the phrase "I choose…" for the standard declarative phrase "I have, I am etc." used in traditional affirmations to address traumas, because we are all affected so deeply by the shocking events of yesterday [9/11/01]. Now, if ever, is the time for us to make choices which can help us meet what may be a turning point in our collective awareness.

Accordingly, I have put together a few suggestions for EFT Choices which can be used within or outside of EFT itself to help heal in this time of trouble. They are not the only Choices which can be made for this purpose by any means, but if they serve to spark your own inner wisdom as to how you can use this crisis to bring about a deep and enduring change in our consciousness, then this effort will be worthwhile.

When using Choices with EFT, you proceed exactly as in standard EFT — by identifying the problem to be addressed and then casting it in words that speak to the person. Some suggested negative phrases that pertain to the current tragic event of this Tuesday, are:

The first step in using healing Choices often needs to be an intensely personal one because it must serve to neutralize the shock and pain which the person may be feeling. For this, the simplest relevant Choice may be the most effective. Following such negative statements as those listed above, here are some suggested Choices for set-up and reminder phrases. Some of these require certain spiritual belief systems to be of use and you must judge this on an individual basis.

The following Choices are based on my own personal sense of the meaning of this event for all of us — what I consider its higher meaning. If my thoughts don’t resonate with your own, feel free to delete them and adopt today whatever means of understanding works best to move you to your own powerful place of healing in this time of radical change.

Notice that most of the following Choices give a "reframe" of this shockingly painful event, and that I don’t use the word "tragedy" (just "tragic" which is different) in any of these suggested Choices. This is not because this event isn’t one of deep sadness and suffering — but because the word "tragedy" technically refers to a play or story with an inevitably tragic ENDING. I do not think that this is a concept that can best serve us when what we need to make room for is the energy of healing and of change.

With these concepts in mind, I suggest the following Choices and urge you to create your own as well and to help others to do so. One word of caution in doing this however, I would urge you to avoid platitudes and generalities wherever possible. While many of these may ultimately be true, they will tend to fall flat and not be heard. A specific suggestion which relates directly to the person’s life will be attended to with interest.

After the "Even though…" phrase, or by themselves, the following are Choices which address the deeper significance of this event and some ways in which people may find a positive resolution for the distress they feel.

...I choose to feel at peace within myself and radiate this to others

...I choose to learn something absolutely essential for my own life from this
   event.

(NOTE: This statement about the "learning" inherent in suffering can be extremely meaningful in the face of a tragic occurrence. When I used it for myself in the past to deal with the painful death of a close relative, I learned something which profoundly changed my life as a result).

...I choose to have this dreadful event open my heart.

...I choose to allow something surprisingly good to come from this sad event.

...I choose to know (or I choose to be guided as to) exactly what I can do best
   to help.

...I choose to see this widespread suffering as a gift which will change
   human understanding and cooperation from now on.

...I choose to be open to an unseen good in this.

...I choose to sense the Divine intent for a greater good in all this.

...I choose to preserve the gift of our immense caring for each other at this
   time.

...I choose to radiate understanding and peace from my heart to a pained
   world.

...I choose to be a still point amidst the chaos.

...I choose to be still and allow God (or love) to enter my heart.

...and so on, and on.

We can make healing Choices for others by using any of the above phrases (or other ones) while tapping on ourselves FOR those others, sending them profound healing. If one’s belief system permits it, this surrogate tapping can also include, as one highly intuitive person suggested this week, tapping for the bewildered spirits of the departed beings who gave their lives so shockingly in order that we might learn from this event. This intuitive person saw an array of spirits of those who had abruptly lost their lives in the incident which included people from every walk of life and many different nationalities, including Arabs, all of whom were in need of our understanding and support so that they could realize why they had been chosen (or had chosen) to make this sacrifice. If such a concept is too far out for you, please just discard it, but I am sure it will have meaning for some.

For many years I have been advising people to make their personal Choices affirmations "draw like a magnet." This is a far more effective approach than simply stating the Choice in neutral or merely correct language. In my Choices Manual I devote a full section to the way in which you can enliven the language of a Choice so that it becomes much more effective for purposes of personal change, making EFT more dynamic and powerful.

Carol Morgan is a reader of the manual whom I met through her letters. She and her friend, Barbara, became so interested in the idea of making Choices into a personal advertisement directed to ones self which will "sell" the concept you are choosing to yourself in a compelling manner -- that they sat down, pulled out a thesaurus and began composing a list of words which they felt had an exciting and magnetic impact upon them. These were strong words, feeling words. They then sent the complete list to me with thanks for my having inspired them to compose them.

I found their list so interesting that I have provided below some examples of Choices based upon the words they suggested. A few of these are words I had already been using myself to spice up Choice making, but many are words that I had not thought of and which I consider valuable enough to devote space here to describing.

I hope Carol and Barbara will not mind if I digress a bit from their original intent in some of my phrases.

The word "Surprise"...

As in: "I choose to surprise myself by how easy (pleasant, etc.) this (formerly undesirable) task is."

Using this phrase reminds me of the way the renowned hypnotherapist, Milton Erickson used the words surprised and delighted when he was giving imbedded hypnotic commands to his patients. Erickson was a master at disarming the person and at creating enormously strong motivations for change. I have for years utilized the surprise element in Choices as well, and find it can be one of our more powerful EFT tools.

Delight...
As in, "I choose to delight in seeing my house in order." This Choice can take any task which is seen as onerous and convert it to something that is extremely positive, in that it produces delight. This is a highly effective reframe that can be an excellent strategy for achieving an about face with regard to a particular issue.

Thrill...
As in, "I choose to get a thrill out of getting my work in on time." This is another strongly motivating reframe.

Inspired...
As in, "I choose to be inspired by the challenge of completing this manuscript."

Impressed...
As in, "I choose to be impressed with how easily I can study for the math exam." The word "impressed" here converts the desired goal into one which is strongly positive.

Relish...
As in, "I choose to relish my new ability to assert myself."

Intrigued...
As in, "I choose to be intrigued by the challenge of (doing such and such)."

Energized...
As in, "I choose to be energized by regular exercise" or "I choose to be energized by my ability to confront... (whatever)." There is an element of surprise in here as well -- we dont expect to be energized by something we haven’t liked in the past and it therefore represents a powerful reframe.

Blessed...
As in, "I choose to be blessed by my ability to play the piano." This can be an excellent word for someone with a spiritual or religious orientation. It could make all the difference between that person allowing him or herself to embrace a particular Choice, or not do so.

Brilliant...
As in, "I choose to find a brilliant solution to (that problem)."

Thrive...
As in "I choose to thrive on getting my appointments correct."

Attract...
As in, "I choose to attract some wonderful new friends." The word "attract" has a special meaning for many people, particularly those who have an orientation that assumes that we attract certain things or people into our lives according to our thoughts, attitudes, etc.

Radiate.....
As in "I choose to radiate love to all I meet."

Incredibly...
As in, "I choose to find it incredibly easy to follow my new diet."

Exhilarating...
As in "I choose to find it exhilarating to exercise each day."

Luxuriate...
As in, "I choose to luxuriate in my new ability to remember names."

We could go on and on with this. I did not use all of the words that these kind respondents suggested because I felt some were more amenable to creating Choices than others. But this incomplete list should whet your appetite for more such words and phrases, this time those that you will create. It can be an adventure to create this kind of vitality in a Choice, and it is many times worth the relatively small effort required.

It also makes the whole process a lot more fun for everyone concerned. I recommend that you play with words and phrases in this fashion. This way each Choice can be a well constructed advertisement to ones own self, it becomes almost irresistible. This the kind of choice that carries an enormous punch and can bring about a rapid, sometimes amazing change. Have I motivated you by the words in this paragraph? I hope so!

—Pat Carrington

-- Word your Choices so that they become much more powerful. There are five main principles for doing this -- all described in detail in the book.

-- Customize your Choices by using Personal Resource States (an NLP term for one's own highly effective coping strategies). Doing this creates Choices which have a special therapeutic value.

-- Use Choices in psychotherapy, weave them seamlessly into therapy sessions, use them to facilitate your therapeutic goals -- the results can be highly effective.

-- Use Choices to enhance performance in any area with a precision not possible before.