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loving silence, but I will never forget what shocked me out of the reverie. |
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I was jolted to waking consciousness by the thumping of my own heartbeat! Whump! Whump! Whump! My whole upper body pulsed with each throb. I could hear my blood being pumped out of my heart and into my arteries, and incoming blood surging into an empty heart chamber before the muscle contracted to squeeze it out again. Thrr-ump! Thrr-ump! Thrr-ump! The beats were so loud that they echoed in my ears. The force of my heart contracting so violently took my breath away, and it almost hurt. "Am I having a heart attack?" I wondered. I was frightened. I unbuttoned my shirt and uncovered my chest so I could watch this amazing phenomenon. I was able to see my heart muscle contract and rise as it throbbed under my skin, all the while emitting dull thumps. After many minutes, the thumping subsided, and my chest stopped pounding. I lay in my bed in silence once again. |
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I wanted to believe that my experience was somehow related to the improved functioning of my brother's heart, but I never thought I would receive any sort of confirmation about it. I knew that if my brother died, and I hadn't done absolutely everything I could to help him live, I would have a difficult time forgiving myself. I also knew that part of his failure to recuperate had to do with his social isolation he had moved to a distant state, and had become out of touch with most of his longtime friends. He had, in fact, been deeply troubled failing to thrive for quite some time before his heart failed. |
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I knew that I needed to let my brother know he was loved. I decided to do one of the riskiest things I've ever done in my life. It was also for me an ultimate act of love. I decided to telephone my brother's friends from the distant past, and ask them to pray for him. I told them that if they preferred, they could call him on the phone. Although he was too weak to speak, he would be able to hear their voice and feel their caring. |
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This experience proved to be so powerful for both my brother and myself, that, when someone comes to me for spiritual healing, I now often suggest asking for prayers from friends. In my brother's case, I did not expect that many of his friends would act on the suggestion, thinking that most of them probably did not pray, or believe in any community of spirit. |
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