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Page 158
me. Fireworks went off inside my head. I was stunned, and overcome by the brightness. I felt like I had no body. I was radiating light. I was pure energy. I was elation.
I awoke to find myself standing in the middle of the room. I knew it was no longer night by the light coming through the windows. My right arm was outstretched above me. My nightgown was sopping, and clung to my wet body as tears rolled down my face. I felt absolutely energized. Completely alert. Blissfully radiant. Ecstatic. Not at all like a person who had been tormented by unrelenting pain for days. Not at all like someone who hadn't been sleeping well, or hadn't eaten anything in recent memory. All the pain I'd felt the previous night was gone.
And then, I panicked. I thought I had gone completely mad. I was terrified. I quickly dressed, and went outside. The early morning light made everything look extremely clean. Even the sidewalk, which the day before had appeared a dingy gray, seemed beautiful. Plants and people were luminous. I felt joyous and loving towards strangers. The air smelled inordinately fresh. I noticed colors everywhere, more vivid than they had ever been. But the dream was forgotten.
I hastily made my way to the Western Union office. My body felt nearly weightless. I felt extraordinarily alert and strong. The beauty I saw all around me brought tears to my eyes. I felt such love for being alive. I seemed to be aware of everything all around me, all at the same time. And I knew I had to get home right away.
The money I had been waiting for had arrived. I immediately bought a ticket for the next available flight out of the country. I had not looked at a calendar for quite awhile. I had been traveling in Asia, through hot, humid, exotic places for almost a year, with no particular schedule, so that my normal methods of measuring time no longer applied. I realized that not only had I forgotten what day and week it was, I could not even remember what month, season, or even year it was. I could not even remember my age. In spite of my buoyancy, I feared that what had begun as a quest for consciousness expansion had culminated in mental illness.
"Oh, God, Jane, get yourself home while you can still walk. Don't

 
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