No.366283215

Going to go out on a limb and suggest that that particular one hits home with you if you saw Sleeping Beauty as a child.

No.366283376

>mfw getting the elemental perk for shields blocks dragonbreath

ISHYGDT

No.366283678

Skyrim for GOTY
www.g4tv.com/vgdm/best-game-2011/battleresult/209/TheElderScrolls5Skyrim%20vs%20ZeldaSkywardS
word/4B96575933954ace908B51D860D59E47/

No.366283848

>>366283376

Coolbeans. Never noticed that.

No.366283947

>>366283678

Looks like Skyward Sword will win this one.

2% is gigantic. No sarcasm, either.

No.366284096

>>366283215
you and your magic shield that blocks everything. you think about it, that horse should have it's legs a lil' crispy. but at the same time, blocking doing nothing... i'll call bullshit on that, it should at least block something.

No.366284220

DRAGON PORN !

FUS ROH DAH !

No.366284659

template?

No.366285162

>>366284659

Sorry, was gonna post that. Got distracted by the fat guy from ATHF

memegenerator net/Skyrim-Stan

No.366285637

lolz

No.366286151

>>366282789
get that elemental shield thingy and it does FUCK YEAA

No.366286609

>>366286385
Genius.

No.366286685

>>366286385
that's an amazing plan, if anyone ever acctually goes to jail... the fines are usually pittance

No.366287502

>>366286609

Never had a chance to test it. Planted the keys in Riften days ago when I had to go to the jail for a quest. Never have gotten arrested there.

No.366287988

running out of ideas

No.366288106

>>366287204

Can relate to this one.

No.366288192

>>366288080

How do you convince a bard to follow you?

No.366288405

>>366288192
Sven in Riverwood, if you do his little quest for him.

No.366289100

i give it a try.

No.366289164

>>366288614
>People using exploits or console commands
>LOL

No.366289243

>>366289100

lol well done.

No.366289376

template

No.366289436

i used to post in these threads, but then i took an arrow the knee.

No.366289501

>>366289164

No.366289767

Need base.

No.366289830

>>366289376
vvvvvvvvvvvv
>>366285162

No.366290174

>Be at bannered mare in Whiterun to pick up my ho uthgerd as my companion
>See that bitch ass Makela bard sitting opposite her
>See's me enter, gets up and brushes by me, responds how he is such a hit with the ladies when Mikael gets them
> FUS RO DAH that motherfucker blown backwards against the back door, collapses and staggers.
>I gtfo out of there
> Exit the bannered mare, Mikael rushes out with a switchblade and starts scratching at me. Pull out my sword and shield and bash him down the stairs, he tumbles down
>Uthgerd pulls out a warhammer and finishes him off in front of a large crowd, killing him
>Two whiterun gaurds rush up to the scene
>"You there, what happend here? Prepare to face the jarls justice" etc etc
>Respond "I am the thane of whiterun, everything is fine now, go about your business move along move along
>Gaurds are all "Oh for the thane we will make an exception. Make sure it doesnt happen again
>MFW


>Later on, sit next to Idolaf battle born at the bar, sharing a drink. He talks about Mikael giving bards a bad name and only caring about gold and not about song.
>True fucking story bro

No.366290909

I'm enjoying this thread. Someone make one about standing in the fire traps in nordic ruins to spam your restoration skill. Doing that now yo.

No.366291466

>>366291108

Good one

No.366291487

>>366291295
Hey, its a good axe.

No.366291904

>>366291487

Different axe for everyone.

No.366292316

>>366292139
>>366292139
>>366292139
>>366292139
>>366292139
>>366292139
>>366292139
>>366292139
CAN FUCKING RELATE SO HARD

No.366292615

YOU CAN FUCKING SPRINT?!?!?!
WHAT IS THIS SHIT?!

No.366292704

>>366292316

You know its funny when I made that one I thought people would give me so much shit for it. But by far it gets more responses than any other and they're all the same.

Bethesda fucked that shit up hard.

No.366292788

>>366292618
This. 1000 times this. Took me til the 3rd one of those puzzles to figure that shit out.

No.366292955

>>366292615

See? No troll man. You can sprint. Look it up.

No.366292974

>>366292139

Seriously? Who's this fucking stupid?

No.366292990

>>366292316
mfw i found you can spin the objects on the loading screens

No.366293086

>>366292618
>>366292618

haha fucking this.

No.366293591

>>366292990
>>366292990
>>366292990

WWWWHHHHHATTTT???!

No.366293740

>>366292139

>50+ hours in (PC)
>find hotkeys
>...

No.366294027

>>366292618

Seriously, you...fuuuuuuuuuuuuu I didn't know that!!!

No.366294085

>>366293162

>mfw this happens to me

No.366294188

>>366293740
>not related but kinda
>Have being playing minecraft for a week (back when it was 1.2)
>find you can use the scroll wheel
>

No.366294290

>>366293683
> find hotkeys
> realize you can skip time

No.366294841

>>366292618
Those puzzles have three positions with three choices for each position.

It took you 2 hours to try 27 possibilities?

No.366295079

>>366292618
Did this till bf took pity and told me to look at the claw.

No.366295286

>>366294841
It's clearly a hyperbole for comedic effect you stupid fuck.

No.366295336

>>366294290
>>make comment about skipping time
>>20 minutes later
>>realize your character stands in place for 8 hours
>>thats the joke
>>ooohhhhhh

No.366295436

For all you Skyrim retards out there, here's a few tips:

- You can vary the distance of the 3rd person view from the Dovahkiin, just press and hold in the right analogue stick when in 3rd person mode, then using the left analogue stick you can zoom in or out by pushing up or down.

- For those sneaky types out there like myself, when facing the Forsworn, particularly the Forsworn Briarheart, if you sneak up behind him undetected and pickpocket him you can literally steal his heart, not like take him out on a date but like rip it from his chest like Indiana Jones or some shit.

- You can move objects in Skyrim like how you did in Oblivion, simply hold the A button for Xbox or X button for PS3. Have fun putting baskets on people and making your house look even prettier.

- If you're endlessly searching through books, opening and reading the first page hoping to get a skill point, let me save you some time, simply look at the value of the books before you bother to read them, anything with a value over 50 septims usually is a winner.

If this is all common info then let me know, if not I can post more.

No.366295502

>>366292704

lol'd

No.366295614

>>366295436

>2011
>having an analog stick

No.366295839

>>366295336
GTFO

No.366296035

>>366295081
>>366295081
>>366295081
>>366295081
>>366295081
>>366295081
>>366295081
>>366295081
>>366295081
fucking this! I thought i was the only one!

No.366296415

>>366292990
never have time, ssd disk ftw

No.366296522

>>366295436
>>366295436

Post moar pls =)

No.366296615

>>366295436

Didnt know about the briarhearts but I've never seen one with my sneak char to pickpocket. Took me like 10 hours to figure out the book thing. And had no clue about moving things, sweet.

No.366297028

>>366295436
numba 1 pray on pc much betta
numba 2 read ARR ta books for random quests may come from them

other than that yeah helpful tips for the new dragonborns

No.366297057

>didn't know there was a sprint button

>"expensive books are better" is a useful tip

how the hell do you guys even manage to turn on your xboxes?

No.366297350

>>366282789

Skyrims a pretty shitty mediocre game, but on the topic of mead I'm brewing my own tomorrow. Hurrah!

No.366297793

>>366297529
what's ocarina of time?

No.366297884

­­

No.366297926

>>366297793

No.366297937

>>366297793
6/10

No.366298055

>>366297526
How did you do this?

No.366298141

>>366297526
MOAR PORNOGRAPHIC SCREEN CAPS

No.366298153

Sorry I dont have a meme. I have a question.
Does anyone else try decorating their houses by placing items around, then when you wait a few hours or leave the house all the items you placed are thrown around?

Its really bugging me because I love decorating the house with items.

No.366298215

>>366298055
­­they are called "the people's champions", platformcandy-ass

No.366298238

>>366297793
Cant tell if.. aw fuk dat shit

No.366298248

every fucking time

No.366298297

>>366298055
Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim - Nude Females Mod v1.4 (Full)

No.366298323

>>366297526
wut?

No.366298342

>>366298153
Yes, it annoys the shit out of me, I gave up.

No.366298371

holy fuck youre all retarded.
does no one look at the controls or anything?
you went 25 hours and NEVER PRESSED THE BUTTON?
you never knew you could move stuff?

did you also not know how to recline a car seat?
did you know you can move your jaw up and down and food becomes easier to swallow?

No.366298389

>>366298153
i believe its random, sometimes they fly away sometimes they wont

No.366298404

>>366298153

yeah your housecarl usually throws wild parties with the jarl and his bitches when you're now around. never cleans up after though

No.366298576

>>366298371
>did you know you can move your jaw up and down and food becomes easier to swallow?

No.366298609

>>366298389
>>366298342

I feel like it does it for everything. Im kind of hoping they patch it or someone releases a mod...

No.366298663

>>366292618
wat oO
there are 3 rings with 3 symbols, each
3^3=27
you took 2h for trying 27 combinations!?

i also failed in the first time by looking at it...
still only tooks 2 minutes...

No.366298744

youtu.be/FIxlF86usAE

No.366298789

>>366298576
That face
Oh god that face

No.366298893

>>366298576
I prefer it in a long hard form.

No.366298909

when you get your IDs mixed up

No.366298989

I tried to decorate, came back, and everything was strewn everywhere.

No.366299234

>>366295081
>>366296035

I dont get it?

No.366299337

>>366298989

No.366299505

>>366298989
Wait, that was once orderly?

No.366299511

>>366298989
>>366298989
>>366298989
>>366298989
>>366298989
>>366298989

No.366299533

>>366298371

on pc the sprint key is on alt, no game uses that fucking key

No.366299554

>>366297793
The first game I'm replaying to celebrate graduation in May.

No.366299601

>>366295081
not shitting you has happened twice to me, un related not dragon priest masks are sweet

No.366299627

Is the game unplayable for anyone else? I can't play without it crashing every five minutes.

That being said, I do have several the people's champions installed that I'd really rather not play without (lest I face Skyrim's god-awful textures).

No.366299698

>>366298663

That's because you are a rational person.

I had to write every combination in a sheet of paper, and trying theme one by one to figure out the good one, i even thought the answer was on the paintings in the walls of the room.

Also i exagerated the thing because its funnier like that, in my opinion

No.366299818

Just hit 'back' or 'select' on consoles

No.366300045

>>366299627

try the FPS limiter mod. I installed the 30fps one and haven't froze or crashed since.

No.366300066

>>366299533
>first start right after installing a random game
>options ->controls ->keyboard
>???
>profit
ISHYGDT

No.366300291

>>366299818
>playing TES
>not realizing there is a wait feature

No.366300365

>>366292618
OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!

I quit...I'm uninstalling.

No.366300527

>>366300049

Sauce plox.

No.366300636

>>366295502

I lol'd for 5 minutes at this. Thank you, anon.

No.366300819

OC

No.366300825

­

No.366301022

>>366298153
No, I haven't noticed just yet. I put together a sloppy organization in my Archmage quarters with a fuckton of potions and shit on shelves.

Oh please divines no...

No.366301245

There's some hilarious stuff in this thread but...


How fucking stupid are some of you? Didn't know you could sprint? Didn't know how to unlock the doors with dragon claws despite there being dialogue explaining exactly what to do? And even without the dialogue it's fucking obvious?

I fucking despair sometimes.

No.366301318

>>366299698
there are 3 simple rules by bethesdas quest-construction:

1. the user is dumb - kick all possible hints right into his face
2. the user is a kid - if you make a riddle to hard, we simply will quit playing the game
3. the user is dumb.. srsly - at least keep variations low to push up the probability of a lucky hit...

therefore: if the answer is not painted right into your face, skip the riddle and use math to go further

No.366301367

>>366301101

>mfw that's what i was thinking first time

No.366301606

>>366301022
It might just be for the purchased houses...but im not sure

No.366301871

­I guess even ancient nord undead have the urge to feel cozy

No.366301983

>>366300049

IS THIS SKYRIM

OR OBLIVION

No.366302194

>>366298371

No.366302256

>>366301983
It's Oblivion. In time hopefully somebody will make one like that for Skyrim.

No.366302308

Bam.

No.366302414

>>366301983
look at the tree and the shitty-resolution of the background-
texture....
obviously oblivion

No.366302504

>>366302194

No.366302755

>>366301983
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

No.366302822

>seriously my face when people actually do/ask these things
>>366282789
>>366288192
>>366292139
>>366292615
>>366292618
>>366292990
P.S. imma go continue my onslaught, that and one internets to the person who can correctly give me the level cap.

No.366302843

I think the Dark Brotherhood questline was better than the main questline

No.366302886

>>366302755
Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality...

No.366302997

>>366302822
81 bitch roody-poo

No.366303015

>>366302886
WEEEE AREEEE THE CHAMPIONNNSN!!!!

No.366303249

>>366302886
open your eyes
look up to the skies and seeee

No.366303264

>>366302843
Could have been better with a Rape Astrid option.

Hell there should be a Rape PERK

No.366303345

mfw >366302997
one internets sir or madam. what class if you don't mind indulging me.

No.366303383

make 5000 daggers

Deadric armors? easy.

No.366303398

I've got to thinking. Maybe I'm the doublesborn and don't even know it?

No.366303548

>>366303398

No.366303552

>>366303249
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy

No.366303741

>>366303548
>>366303548
>>366303548
Oh god I lol'd

No.366303763

>>366303552
I'm just a samef­ag, I need no friends.

No.366303793

>>366303552

cause it's Friday friday gotta get down on friday.

No.366303943

>>366302997
what cha' play

No.366303951

>>366303345
im a sneaky ass hood rad that will stab your shit

i duel 1h swords
light armor
archery
for now on my newest guy

on my other im playing mage class

and you my friend?

No.366304031

You rage you lose!





"not having multiplayer" got me!

No.366304579

>>366303951
two handed hamma
light armor to the fucking gills(not an argonian)
little bit arch, pesky dragons.

have a kahjit thief that looks like my cat who is a straight up murderer.

and a necromancer who is my newest

No.366304802

>>366304501

i lol'd

No.366305262

this thread is dildos
you guys are all candy-asss
don't take it from me, take it from God

No.366305314

Is anyone else's home in Whiterun bugged to hell? I had a ton of stuff in one of the trunks that went missing and I lost a bunch of books on the bookcase and can't activate it anymore.

No.366305322

>>366299202
Do you have any of those for Aela the Huntress of the Companions?

No.366305343

Y'all just got sweetroll'd

No.366305475

>>366288603

I don't get this one.

No.366305581

I was just walking around near the companions the other day and one of the chicks Ria said something along the lines of
"I killed a bear yesterday, what have you killed recently?"
Married her right after that.

No.366305615

>>366288080
Anyone DOESNT kill sven on that quest?

No.366305618

>>366305475
Then you're an idiot.

No.366305639

>>366305475
It's about shitty loot in a hard chest.

No.366305846

Lydia died on mine so I spawned her again using console commands, but now she doesn't go home she wanders off, any suggestions?

No.366306110

>>366282789
i hears you like skyrim

No.366306126

>sneaking 100 + invisibility
>hired thugs find you anyway

No.366306287

>>366292618

WTFWTFWTF THIS IS AN ACTUAL THING!!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

No.366306420

oc

No.366306448

Hah. Fuck you skyrim bastards.
I'll go play Divinity 2 and be a dragon.
Fuck yeah.

No.366306581

>389 days passed
>2 hours slept

No.366306597

>>366306287

there are only 27 possible combinations for that doors
should not be so hard to figure out