>> |
Anonymous
Another swedefag here.
Yes, we are indeed very reserved and can probably be percieved as "unfriendly" by people coming from other countries. We simply are like that - we like to keep to ourselves and our own group of friends.
Whenever someone breaks our social norms, like casually starting to chat with us on the bus or on campus about all sorts of things (even the weather), we get embarassed and feel really uncomfortable, and start regarding said individual with suspicion ("Why is he talking to me? He has some ulterior motive...").
A Swede makes friends, usually, through events or participating in groups, such as taking the same course at uni, going to a comic convention or a party at an already established friend, etc. It is very rare for two Swedes to befriend each other under everyday circumstances.
Befriending a Swede is a slow process - I've just started talking to people in my class at uni, and we've been in the same class for about 2 years. That's just how it works. However, I would say that once you have befriended a Swede, he is a very good friend (unless he's a complete asshole or social misfit - unfortunately, we are too polite to ditch such friends and just suffer in silence).
It pains me to have to say this, because it will sound racist, but I think that Swedes are, in general, wary of befriending foreigners. Not that we dislike them for being foreign, but because they often act "un-Swedish" (in the ways I have mentioned) which makes us feel iffy, and so we stay away from them.
I know I try to avoid foreigners on campus because I'm afraid they'll get too clingy too fast and come up with un-Swedish suggestions, like "hey, my family's over from [weird foreign country with strange customs and kiss-hellos], why don't you come meet them?!".
Standard disclaimers apply, YMMV, "not all Swedes are antisocial fucktards", in before racist, etc. etc.
|