File :-(, x, )
Halp with encomium needed Anonymous
So a friend of mine is going to australia for 6 months, and our club wants to bid farewell with an encomium. A funny encomium, not one to be spoken with a stick in the ass.

Any ideas how to weave some dangers/stereotypes/extra lulz about australia(ns) and lulzy australian slang terms in that monologue?

thx in advance
>> Anonymous
>>9188

that is cliche and automatically fails
>> Anonymous
>>9201: since i'm not gonna be the one reading that txt i dont give a fuck.
>> Anonymous
Mention the Australian drop bears, and how he's going to ride kangaroos to work/school. Mention that Australia has the world's poisonest snakes/spiders/jellyfish. Mention that one of the regular diets of freshwater crocs is tourists. Mention that in Darwin there is a little beastie that if you get it in your ear when swimming it'll grow inside your brain.
>> Anonymous
HOOP SNAKES
>> Anonymous
cunt, shitcunt, dogcunt, fucknut, chockers, seppo, dero, tero, naro, boofhead, choofhead, boong, abo, fourex, goon, goonbag, sickmaaaate, as if, 'sif, have a sook, have a cry, mossie, speckie, U LE', etc
>> Anonymous
Rupert Murdoch is the governor-general
>> Anonymous
Goon bag. can be used as a pillow.
>> Anonymous
>>9469
goon of fortune!
>> Anonymous
what's an encomium?
>> Anonymous
>>9188
We are all convicts and will steal your shit

Also we ride kangaroos to work

Serious danger all the drunk drivers

Highest poker machine: people ratio in the world
>> Anonymous
>>10170

oh man, pokies...

most loathsome thing about the country or most loathsome thing?
>> Anonymous
>>10171

fucking depressing as, go to the pub with some mates and eventually someone decides we should go 'have a slap'. Watching a mate who has a 3 month old child and a mortgage lose the best part of his weekly wage, the 50y.o asian women that is at the pokies every time you go to the pub, and that fucker who plays 3 machines at once jamming a coaster into the max bet button so he doesnt have to keep pressing it.
>> Anonymous
Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Taipan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Stonefish and the poison thing that lives in a shell
That spikes you when you pick it up

Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed

Your life's constantly under threat
Have you been bitten yet?
You've only got three minutes left
Before a massive coronary breakdown

Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Tiapan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Big shark just waiting for you to go swimming
At Bondi Beach

Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed
Your blood is bound to be spilled
With fear your pants will be filled
Because you might accidentally get killed
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
this guy
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
and this guy
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
and these guys
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
but this guy rocks
>> Anonymous
>>10182
holy shit i think i know those guys
>> Anonymous
>>10178
HOLY SHIT!! thats like my mates brother!
>> Anonymous
Mention the yawi's and dropbears as well as skin cancer.
>> Anonymous
>>10182

that would have to be novacastrians
>> Anonymous
>>10195
10188 here. not novacastrians.
>> Anonymous
>>10172

I like how as soon as calls for the government to phase it out arise, they just dissemble to hell and plug their counselling programs, etc

It would be hilarious if it weren't so inhumanely hypocritical
>> Anonymous
>>10197

you mean to say there is a place as feral as newcastle!?
>> Anonymous
>>10201

Franga
>> Anonymous
>>10199

without tax revenue gambling, booze and tobacco we wouldnt be able to support our 3 levels of government and all the buerecrats that go with it, I think we have the highest politicion per population in the world
>> Anonymous
>>10172
come to W.A the only pokies you will find here are in the only casino
>> Anonymous
>>10177

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy_TB6onHVE
>> Anonymous
Haha oh wow. I thought this thread was about meconium (the first poops of a baby).
>> Anonymous
>>9245
All true, except for dropbears, that's an aussie joke :)
>> Anonymous
Why do Canadians hate Australians? Because Australians have an ocean between them and Americans.