File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
What should I do if I happen to visit Israel?
>> Anonymous
Get stoned
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>42168
>> Anonymous
Jews
>> Anonymous
I'm going to Jerusalem tomorrow; suggestion one, try not to get run over by an angry Palestinian with a tractor.

Suggestion two: see the sights, including Jerusalem, Tel Aviv-Yafo, Masada, Eilat, the Golan, Bethlehem, Nazareth (Christian, I s'pose), etc etc.

Suggestion three: Jewesses. God damn, I love me some Israeli poon.
>> Anonymous
>>42171

OP: Is there anything gay to do (as in clubs etc.)? Thanks for the suggestions. :3
>> Anonymous
Have an awesome time.

Be sure to go to the beaches in Tel Aviv!
>> Anonymous
>>42172

Haven't noticed myself, but I've been assured that there's plenty to do along those lines. Given the atmosphere and difference in surroundings (in b4 durka durka jihad), Tel Aviv is actually the most gay-friendly locale in the Middle East. Go to the city center, there are plenty of clubs to try.
>> Anonymous
I'm from Brooklyn, I love me some Jews.

But Israeli Jews seem to be very xenophobic, they're not very nice to foreigners - even if you speak the language, expect to be treated like shit.

I've been all over the middle east except Iraq and Iran. Israel was a fucking meh-fest.
>> Anonymous
I'm from Israel,
When you start a conversation with someone, start with saying "ma nishma?", he'll like it and help you cuz you are a cute foreigner
Go site seeing, Jerusalem, the Golan Heights, Tiberias, Eilat (for relaxing) and anywhere you want to go.
>> Anonymous
>>42182

Everyone from Brooklyn hates Jews, even the Jews

Hasids give me panic attacks, I can't go outside the day they chase you with a lemon
>> Anonymous
ma nishma?=Whassup?
>> Anonymous
>Everyone from everywhere hates Jews, even the Jews

fixd
>> Anonymous
>>42198
yes
>> Anonymous
>>42198
I would not trust him.
>> Anonymous
> "What should I do if I happen to visit Israel?"

Don't drive tanks through Palestinian houses. I hear they don't like that, silly them.
>> Anonymous
take a leak on the wall of prayers
>> Anonymous
>Israel
no such thing
>> Anonymous
is israel infested with fags or something?
>> Anonymous
>>42245
worse: jews
>> Anonymous
Careful. i heard judeism is contagious. you dont wanna catch that shit
>> Anonymous
>>42182
I thought Iran was the least mehworthy of all the middle eastern countries, you should definitely check it out. Especially if you like to talk politics, oddly enough.
>> Anonymous
>>42245
It's a middle eastern democracy with mandatory national service, basically a state of perpetual war, and marginal church inroads into government.

Way less closetfags than Saudi Arabia or Iran, but less of a gay scene than UAE.
It has less closet fags
>> Anonymous
>>42295
ok i agree with that statement but there is a "gay scene" in the UAE? LOL
>> Anonymous
>>42308
For a middle eastern country, I thought it was pretty far open. By the way, have you ever been to a gay rave in Iran...they suck.
>> Anonymous
>>42293
Iran is a nice country. The people are polite, and semi-moderate. All Middle-east people are stupidly polite, even if they hate you.

ITs the government in these countries you have to watch out for.
>> Anonymous
>>42308

Lots of gay people are really good at engineering and architecture, they aren't going to discriminate against their money making abilities just because their religion says they should brutally murder them
>> Anonymous
>>42310

This, except for Saudi Arabia. My ex-girlfriend was Omani (and I'm not), but we went around the entire middle east, and pretty much everywhere was really cool (metaphorically speaking) except Saudi Arabia. That place sucks so hard. Dubai was fun, Oman was fun, Yemen was meh, Iran was fun, Jordan was fun.

This thread is about Israel though, so I'll share my experiences there. I'm half-black, multilingual, and carry myself well and even though there are PLENTY of Ethiopian Jews scattered around, I still was the target of the most insane racism I've ever seen (& I lived in the deep south) Restaurants wouldn't serve me, on three occasions just walking by, old Orthodox men spit on the ground in front of me and stared me down, & I actually had some little kid call me a nigger in passing. My girlfriend wasn't with me so it wasn't because I was dating an Arab, it's just because that is a backwards horrible horrible country with customs far worse than any Muslim or African country I've been to.

If you're a Jew, they'll practically pay you to become a citizen, marry a local, and fuck her so you can have kids. But if you aren't, avoid like the plague. I'm fairly convinced it has the absolute worst culture on Earth, and makes the xenophobia of the Far East or the Middle East pale in comparison.

Also, Jews fight eachother all the time. All of this bullshit about Jews v Palestinians is not the real problem over there. The real problem is the crazy conservative orthodox ones want everyone who doesn't wear a Lincoln top hat and speak hebrew 100% of the time to leave, and start shit at every single opportunity with absolutely anyone.

On the plus side, some of the scenery is truly breathtaking. They really did choose the best part of the Middle East to settle.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Turkey even allows gay marria-oh waaiit...
>> Anonymous
>>42328
So, a guy who doesn't initially speak hebrew and doesn't wear a top hat pretending to be a jew won't have a nice time if he's planning to stay?
>> Anonymous
>>42328
actually they WILL pay you to become a citizen. I completely know what you mean, Jerusalem in particular has a rather sick culture.

I remember back in the days when I was a believer (it seems like a thousand centuries ago now) my reform rabbi told me an interesting story about going to Isreal. Back in the mid-70's when apparently the rifts in the jewish community weren't supposed to be as bad as they are now he lead a co-ed group of high school students on a trip through Israel. Back then they hadn't built a formal divider between men and women on the western wall yet, so he sat his whole group down to lead them in prayer. Out of nowhere some Orthodox guy came up to him and started screaming, in Hebrew, that him and his group were a disgrace to the jews and that Hitler should have finished off scum like that. Fuck.

Personally I've experienced much worse racism in other places (think Japan), but at least the people there were far too polite to spit at me.
>> Anonymous
>>42335
Thing is, I don't understand if they accept Aliyah on ethnic or religious grounds...

i.e. can a guy who claims Jewish descent become a citizen without fuss if he isn't a practicing jew?
>> Anonymous
>>42293

Hey, late reply here

I REALLY want to check out Iran, especially Tehran. I've been hearing a lot of great things about it. Possibly something to do with the absurd high standards of education in Iran's major cities, its like a reverse Amerikkka.

Plus have you seen Persian girls? They're like an upgraded Jew in terms of looks. Piercing green eyes, olive oil skin and jet black hair.
>> Anonymous
>>42331
oy vey
oy gevalt
as a turkish jew this was the last straw, I'm moving to Israel where hot IDF wimmin lie.
>> Anonymous
>>42335
>they WILL pay you to become a citizen
moar liek cannon fodder
>> Anonymous
>>42382
this guy's more right
>> Anonymous
>>42328

You clearly misunderstand... in Jewish culture one honors another by spitting at their feet. Clearly these old orthodox men found you both noble and charming. In fact, it was you who insulted them by not spitting back. It dates back to the origins of Hebrew, the language of gargling phlegm.
>> Anonymous
>>42394

Indeed, these goyim don't know shit

khhhrgghkkkaarrrgghhhhh rrghhhhkhhhh khh?
1
>> Anonymous
>>42349
Jewish ancestry is only passed down by the mother according to Jewish law, so unless your mom is Jewish then you can't claim citizenship that way and you'll have to convert.
>> Anonymous
>>42165
stop drop and roll
>> Anonymous
>>42601
Yes, but the operative word is "claim". Let's say your mother wasn't a Jew, and you look Jew enough, and go to Israel. Will they see through this ridiculously simplistic and retarded scheme?
>> Anonymous
>>42750
They need cannon fodder. You'll be very welcome unless you're a sandnigger feigning jewness to engage in ter'rism.
>> Anonymous
>>42189
>I can't go outside the day they chase you with a lemon

What?
>> Anonymous
>>42776

it's called science... look it up sometime.
>> Anonymous
Stay away from arab areas OP, everything you hear about Palestinianimals is 100% true.

Fucking savages.
>> Anonymous
>>42797
>BAWWWWWWWWWWWW I'M WHITE
>> Anonymous
>>42776

High holiday of Sukkot. Ask if you can touch their lemon and shake their lucky stick.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>42354

Iran is actually very fun, there is a lot of sightseeing to do there and the underground parties are some of the best, without question.

And if the cops ever give you shit just speak English and they'll be like "helo!!!! how ar yu?" They tend to leave foreigners alone, assuming you don't do anything too outlandish.
>> Anonymous
>>42805
>BAWWWW I'M A HIPSTER
>> Anonymous
>>43249
MOHINDER SURESH IS THAT YOU?
>> Anonymous
>>43272
I lol'd
>> Anonymous
>>43253
I'm not, sorry.

Enjoy your xenophobic people.
>> Anonymous
>>43249
it's only a matter of time before they go to war with iran because they just test fired long range missiles then how save will americans be there
>> Anonymous
>>43369

OP here: I'm not an American, at all. ~ I think I'll go while it's safe just to have had the experience. Thanks for the advice. Also, drama? In my thread? More likely than I thought.
>> Anonymous
I was going to say, Israelis aren't just mean/impolite to foreigners, they're nasty to each other too. Don't take it personally, it's just how they interact.
>> Anonymous
>>43476
Hey

Hey

Fuck off.
>> Anonymous
>>43507
fuck you?
>> Anonymous
>>43476

exactly
>> Anonymous
>>43476

Very true. Takes some getting used to. The key thing is to just be a bigger asshole in the conversation.
>> Anonymous
bump
>> Anonymous
sage
>> Anonymous
wear a shirt with a animation of a pig smiling

hehe
>> Anonymous
stay away from the iranian border?
>> Anonymous
>>44136
Yes, clever boy.

>>44143
>iranian
>border

What?

>>43476
>>43525
>>43536
Idiots.
>> Anonymous
>>44143
facepalm.tar.gz