So a friend of mine is going to australia for 6 months, and our club wants to bid farewell with an encomium. A funny encomium, not one to be spoken with a stick in the ass.Any ideas how to weave some dangers/stereotypes/extra lulz about australia(ns) and lulzy australian slang terms in that monologue?thx in advance
>>9188that is cliche and automatically fails
>>9201: since i'm not gonna be the one reading that txt i dont give a fuck.
Mention the Australian drop bears, and how he's going to ride kangaroos to work/school. Mention that Australia has the world's poisonest snakes/spiders/jellyfish. Mention that one of the regular diets of freshwater crocs is tourists. Mention that in Darwin there is a little beastie that if you get it in your ear when swimming it'll grow inside your brain.
HOOP SNAKES
cunt, shitcunt, dogcunt, fucknut, chockers, seppo, dero, tero, naro, boofhead, choofhead, boong, abo, fourex, goon, goonbag, sickmaaaate, as if, 'sif, have a sook, have a cry, mossie, speckie, U LE', etc
Rupert Murdoch is the governor-general
Goon bag. can be used as a pillow.
>>9469goon of fortune!
what's an encomium?
>>9188We are all convicts and will steal your shitAlso we ride kangaroos to workSerious danger all the drunk driversHighest poker machine: people ratio in the world
>>10170oh man, pokies...most loathsome thing about the country or most loathsome thing?
>>10171fucking depressing as, go to the pub with some mates and eventually someone decides we should go 'have a slap'. Watching a mate who has a 3 month old child and a mortgage lose the best part of his weekly wage, the 50y.o asian women that is at the pokies every time you go to the pub, and that fucker who plays 3 machines at once jamming a coaster into the max bet button so he doesnt have to keep pressing it.
Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopusTaipan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfishStonefish and the poison thing that lives in a shellThat spikes you when you pick it upCome to AustraliaYou might accidentally get killedYour life's constantly under threatHave you been bitten yet?You've only got three minutes leftBefore a massive coronary breakdownRedback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopusTiapan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfishBig shark just waiting for you to go swimmingAt Bondi BeachCome to AustraliaYou might accidentally get killedYour blood is bound to be spilledWith fear your pants will be filledBecause you might accidentally get killed
this guy
and this guy
and these guys
but this guy rocks
>>10182holy shit i think i know those guys
>>10178HOLY SHIT!! thats like my mates brother!
Mention the yawi's and dropbears as well as skin cancer.
>>10182that would have to be novacastrians
>>1019510188 here. not novacastrians.
>>10172I like how as soon as calls for the government to phase it out arise, they just dissemble to hell and plug their counselling programs, etcIt would be hilarious if it weren't so inhumanely hypocritical
>>10197you mean to say there is a place as feral as newcastle!?
>>10201Franga
>>10199without tax revenue gambling, booze and tobacco we wouldnt be able to support our 3 levels of government and all the buerecrats that go with it, I think we have the highest politicion per population in the world
>>10172come to W.A the only pokies you will find here are in the only casino
>>10177http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy_TB6onHVE
Haha oh wow. I thought this thread was about meconium (the first poops of a baby).
>>9245All true, except for dropbears, that's an aussie joke :)
Why do Canadians hate Australians? Because Australians have an ocean between them and Americans.