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Anonymous
5. Bikes are fairly cheap, but if you buy it new expect it to be stolen very quickly (they respect foreigners--I've never had any problem at all with crime and feel totally safe on the street, but they can't tell who a bike belongs to just by looking at it), so buy a dirty second-hand bike for next to nothing and use that.
6. Stay away from bars full of foreigners and you'll get laid without lifting a finger. But beware of whores, be quick with the johnny (Chinese men don't know what foreplay is. They'll jump on your cock while you're not looking if you let them.), and keep your wallet under the mattress (do this subtly, if they think you think they're a whore they will get CHINESE GIRL ANGRY which trust me is bad). I don't pay for sex, but if you like hookers, you'll love Chinese ones. Stunning and cheap. But if they take you to a brothel of any sort, DO NOT EVER put your clothes/wallet/valuables in a cupboard. I've heard many tales of sliding false walls and a tiny gremlin who replaces your cash with funny money and swipes your camera. Chinese are opportunists, so don't be surprised if a girl asks you for a 'gift' of a new phone or something in the morning. Tell them to fuck off, but be nice about it. Party girls don't like drinking because they turn red, but they substitute it for drugs. Partake if you like, but don't get carried away with drug versions of drinking games. Sorry if I sound obsessed, but a (male) foreign teacher's life is a party over there so you need to know this stuff.
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