File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Last Matt Stairs thread auto-saging, ok /sp/ pay homage to your GOD. inb4butthurtlafags
>> Anonymous
*glass shatters*
>> Commissioner Red !5gFoSxriW2
IF YOU WANNA SEE ME HIT A HOME RUN GIMME A HELL YEAH
>> Anonymous
matt stairs typical day:

wake up
drive to park
arrive
hit homers
leave
>> Anonymous
Matt Stairs likes to be hammered in the ass by guys...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiJwoNSLRwg
>> Anonymous
>>412234

wake up
drink beer
drive to park
drink beer
arrive
hit homers
drink beer
leave

fixed
>> Anonymous
matt stairs never smiles after going deep, because he knows he has just destroyed someones home.
>> Anonymous
STAIRS IN THE HOUSE
>> Anonymous
Stairs 3:16
>> Anonymous
AND THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE, 'CAUSE MATT STAIRS SAID SO
>> Anonymous
Matt stairs was asked by MLB to sit out of the home-run derby, to avoid embarrassing Josh Hamilton and thus causing him to relapse.
>> MATT CASSEL !!ZIZEM+9e4u8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P72LIWptE2U
>> Anonymous
>>412261

SAID I JUST WHOOPED YOUR ASS
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
ARRIVE
HIT HOMERS
LEAVE
>> headsigh !pPyM90q9.6
     File :-(, x)
One day, Matt Stairs was in the zone. He had just hit 50 homers in a game and now was looking to celebrate.

A hooker tried to put the moves on him that night. Matt knew the hooker didn't know any better, so he played along. Later that night, he took the hooker to the hotel and got started.

"You know," the hooker said midst of their relatively HEADEXPLODINGAWESOME sex. "This is pretty weak."

Matt Stairs wasn't offended. He wasn't even hard yet, but still, the bitch needed to be taught a lesson.

"I like it deep, mostly." The hooker continued. "I want to feel it all the way in my stomach."

"So, you like going deep?" Matt Stairs replied.

"Damn right."

"You like deep balls, huh?"

"Yeah."

"I can take you deep," Matt Stairs said. The hooker screamed.

Two years later, a man in Kanto, Japan, found a dead hooker, absolutely pulverized, as if she was hit by a baseball bat for a home run. He knew immediately what it meant.

Matt Stairs had taken this bitch deep.
>> Black ? Star !x8ngkAZjXE
     File :-(, x)
>>412330


WHO SAID YOU COULD USE MY SHTICK FAGGOT. I'M THE ONLY ONE GOING DEEP.
>> Anonymous
>>412419
that would be a challenger rax

or perhaps a friend for you? you both go deep and have a taste for hookers and liquor
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>412419
>> Black ? Star !x8ngkAZjXE
>>412442
FUCKING SAVED
>> Anonymous
>>412442

lol, win.

in other news, i'm slow and JUST realized it was drew brees...or droo briss.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
epic threads are epic
>> Anonymous
Matt recently leveled half of suburban philly taking batting practice.
>> Anonymous
you do understand the moment you post "memes" to ED, you are going to get a diarrhea shower of folks trying too hard. Also, everybunny know Rax Grissman and THAT.BIRD. are better. fuck if I care, it's a bye week.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
*glass shatters*
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
Matt Stairs hit his first homer four months before he was born, after a surgical procedure implanted a baseball bat into his mother's abdomen.
>> Anonymous
The first man made object launched into orbit was not the Russian satellite Sputnik, but a home run ball from Matt Stairs' very first tee-ball game.
>> Anonymous
matt stairs did not say to stop posting
>> Anonymous
Matt Stairs jokes are so lame they make Chuck Norris ones seem hilarious
>> Anonymous
sorry. Kuyt is superior. sage
>> Anonymous
lol wut