File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Hey guys, check out Shaq's twitter page:
https://twitter.com/THE_REAL_SHAQ?page=1

Yes it's real:
http://www.observer.com/2008/o2/the-real-shaq-stands

Sample quotes:
>Im at dinner wit the wifey deluxe burger in phoenix, um um um 9:18 PM Nov 19th from txt
>Why does shane battier always were that golf masters jacket on the bench, lol 7:33 PM Nov 19th from txt
>On my way 2 da arena. I feel like the main charachter n da movie 300 5:39 PM Nov 20th from txt
>On my way to the 1st annual phoenix shaqsgivn dinner, feed 750 families 12:40 PM Nov 21st from txt
>> Anonymous
shaq can't spell
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>483118
>On my way 2 da arena. I feel like the main charachter n da movie 300

....
>> Anonymous
Did anyone hear about da guy on da web dat commited suicide, my prayers go out to his family

You're awesome, Shaq.
>> Anonymous
i'm a vampire i neva sleep shaqula

lmao
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>483165
>> Anonymous
Why.. Shaq?
>> Anonymous
>tell triple h, i wanna all baball cage fight match, lol
>> Anonymous
>>I'm watchn my 8 yr old son play, i'm jealous hes a better free throw shoota

DOHOHOHOHO
>> Anonymous
I'm _so_ bookmarking this.
>> Anonymous
THIS IS WHY THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED
>> Anonymous
fxd >>Just ate 1200 peopl , bout to go eat 1,000 more, thanks mom and dad 4 raisn me right
>> Anonymous
>>So u wear a cape and win a dunk contest and they call u superman So what do u call a guy wit 4 rings , i know THE REAL SUPERMAN Aka
>> Anonymous
>>Good morning everyone. Let me give you all a hint on how to relate to me, Shaquille O'neal I have a sense of humor I am very quotatious ...

the guy is hillarious
>> Anonymous
>>483165

He... he actually said this.

SHAAAAAAQ!!!!!
>> Anonymous
Shaquantum-chanics is bitchen science!
>> Barack ? Star !!YvdR7lWl85/
> Shaq quote "treat people as u expect them to be, not how u think they are"

Shaqtastic.
>> Anonymous
>>483122

>THOSE R NOT TYPOS, JUST SAVN MONEY, MORE U TYPE MORE U PAY, LOL
>> Anonymous
>Did anyone hear about da guy on da web dat commited suicide, my prayers go out to his family
4chan was there too
>> Anonymous
>I get my neck cracked b4 everygame, today i felt a xtra clikadee clak
>> Kilgamayan !2BklmILFiE
>Does the bcs even look at teams like ball state. Do they get a real good bowl game

>Why is steve francis sittn on the houston rocket bench Thingsdat make u go ummmm

>On my way to practice, running late and i got stop by the cops, aaaaaaaggh

>Looks like espn is tryna start some more kobe, shaq, phil drama

This is the greatest thing ever.
>> Anonymous
Nice grammar and spelling Shaq!!!
>> Anonymous
>>483812
WUT?
>> Anonymous
College served him well.
>> Anonymous
>Cant sleep, the lakers embarrassed us, im pissed

>ABOUT TO EAT DINNER, I PASSED UP 20 MCDONALDS TODAY. I COULDNT DO IT I'M ON A DIET,BUT MCDONALDS FRIES R THE BEST UM UM UM

this is a freaking gold mine
>> Anonymous
SHAQ YOU ARE THE MAN. Best twitter of all time!
>> Anonymous
Im at a italian restaraunt, the fettucini was fabuloso
>> Anonymous
>>483185
i lol'd
>> Anonymous
>>483812
No wonder, that xtra clikadee clak made him get 19 points and 17 rebounds.
>> Anonymous
>Ok i couldnt take it, i had to get a double cheeseburger from whataburger, pls 4give me lol

Shaq leads an exciting life.
>> Anonymous
>>483185
HURR
>> Barack ? Star !!YvdR7lWl85/
>>483987
forgot to green it but still shaqazing.
>> Anonymous
/r/ this thread is permanently stickied so /sp/ may be permanently informed of precisely what Shaq is eating at all times.
>> Barack ? Star !!YvdR7lWl85/
>>485498
I agree perfect canididate for a sticky.
>> Anonymous
Last nite i told greg oden , "we r not the same, i am a martian"
>> Anonymous
I'm watchn my 8 yr old son play, i'm jealous hes a better free throw shoota...


ROFL.
>> Anonymous
>Last nite i told greg oden , "we r not the same, i am a martian"

Oh man, why does he feel the need to do this? Meh, they're classic. So random xD ^____________^.

Does anybody else mimic his monotone voice in your head and say the quotes? Awesome.
>> Anonymous
This... is the greatest thing... ever.
>> Anonymous
>>485512

I read em aloud like Shaq and die laughing.
>> Anonymous
This is brilliant. Thank you anon.

And have a happy Shaqsgiving.
>> Anonymous
Shaq, please do a sequel to Kazaam.
>> Anonymous
>>485580
er, he's not actually HERE, you know...
>> Anonymous
>>485586

But you can contact him if you got a Twitter account. He's been responding to random people.
>> Anonymous
He writes like a /b/tard
>> Anonymous
I SWEAR TO GOD SHAQ IF YOU'RE HERE ON /SP/ AND YOU'RE MMB, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU, NIGGA!
>> Anonymous
i'm glad this has its own thread.
>> Barack ? Star !!YvdR7lWl85/
>>485617
if shaq was anybody I would say he was zubas.
>> Anonymous
Shaqs awesome.
>> Anonymous
>kobe is a beast dude, the best player n da game, i admit , i miss playin wit him
>> Anonymous
>3 DAYS GRACE, ITS NEVA 2 LATE, MY FAVORITE SONG

Shaquille Emo'neal
>> Anonymous
This shit's epoch.
>> Anonymous
Is anybody trying to get in touch with him? If so, don't troll the guy, this is awesome.
>> Anonymous
>Watchn true blood, thats were i was born and raised, dat vampire town, shaqula has been discovered aaaaggggh
>> Anonymous
I love you Shaq. I hope you're reading this.
>> Anonymous
lol, Shaq hitting on Modite
>> Anonymous
Watchn true blood, thats were i was born and raised, dat vampire town, shaqula has been discovered aaaaggggh

>true blood
>twilight
>> Anonymous
>A goal without a plan is just a wish, control your wishes Shaquille o'neal

This is actually kinda profound
>> Anonymous
> I called my main man figs son bcuz da xcellence of a gift lies n its approiateness ratha than its value

wat
>> Anonymous
>>487197
Some random faggot was like "check out this video of my kid's band's first show" and Shaq was like "that's pretty tight, bro. Here's my phone number, lemme congratulate that mother fucka." And he did.
>> Anonymous
>My genius is 1 percent inspiration 99 percent perspiration Shaquille o'neal

Shaq, you are the man.
>> Anonymous
>Characther is what u have left , when u have lost everything u can lose

I really like that.

BIG ARISTOTLE
>> Butt Fucking Adams !pRN2GZKsJ.
Proof that Shaq is the ultimate troll. Shaq-Fu, this, shattering backboards for shits n giggles, etc. You name it, he's done it to piss you off. Including make your crappy little team look like complete and utter shit in the playoffs/finals. Meet your new mascot, /sp/.
>> Anonymous
>>487205
lol quoting Thomas Edison then forgetting that he didn't invent that saying
>> Anonymous
>"Some leaders r born, most are made. If u wanna b sucessful, act like a leader" Shaquille o'neal
>> Anonymous
Shaq is fucking profound.

Will be checking his twitter everyday.
>> Butt Fucking Adams !pRN2GZKsJ.
     File :-(, x)
Wait, am i just trippin or did this overgrown nigger just post a blog entry 15 minutes ago?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>487050
>> Anonymous
Link Shaq to this website.

Make him a tripfag.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
>Im wearing a jacket dat says 1946, a lady asked me wat it means, i replied, mam its the yr i was born. Lol
>> Anonymous
>On my way to oklahoma city, gettin ready to send 2 million lbs of peanut butta to africa
>> Anonymous
Shaquantum-chanics baby.

Shit's harder that algebra II
>> Anonymous
>About 2 meet wit larry jones from feed the children, talkn about feeding children all over da world
>> Anonymous
sticky this shit
>> Anonymous
Am I a faggot for bookmarking his Twitter page?

Y/Y
>> Anonymous
>>488539
it's alright man

*manly highfive*
>> Anonymous
>>488544
*Bro Fist*
>> Anonymous
How come all of Shaq's charity work involves food? He should try building houses or something
>> Anonymous
"On my way to oklahoma city, gettin ready to send 2 million lbs of peanut butta to africa"

it has to be real, no one but the man himself could make this shit up
>> Anonymous
>>488550
>"Nah du, U can't eat da house like food"
>> Anonymous
>>488550
he donates all his leftovers
>> Anonymous
Poll Time /sp/artans.

Is Shaq
A) An idiot
B) Brilliant
C) The best troll in the history of ever.

Vote now.
>> Anonymous
>>488567
B/C
>> Anonymous
>>488567
both B and C
>> Anonymous
>>488567
>D) Shaq the above
>> PhilKenSebben !qNgkjhpu0A
>>488567
B, C and D SHAQTACULAR.
>> Anonymous
>3 DAYS GRACE, ITS NEVA 2 LATE, MY FAVORITE SONG

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plYlikBZ7rM

Really, Shaq? Really??
>> Anonymous
Mark crow, larry jones, and i recieved 36 thousand jars of peanut butta tonite at victory church in oklahoma city
>> Anonymous
>Im wearing a jacket dat says 1946, a lady asked me wat it means, i replied, mam its the yr i was born. Lol about 4 hours ago from txt

Oh god why did I lol.
>> Anonymous
>>488781
because you read it in shaq's voice
>> Anonymous
>>488781
Shaq confirmed for Social Security

Also

>Mark crow, larry jones, and i recieved 36 thousand jars of peanut butta tonite at victory church in oklahoma city
>> Anonymous
>>488484
fucking lost it
>> Anonymous
>>Question were is dikembe mutumbo?? 7:26 PM Nov 19th from txt
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Now what the fuck are the kids in Africa going to do with 2 million lbs of peanut butter. African child for size reference.
>> Sneak !!+y8MDiWrdyT
>>488834

Eat it, I assume.
>> Anonymous
>>488841

They would just drown or choke since they wouldn't have any water or milk to wash it down, but at least their protein intake will be a lot higher so they'll be less bloated.
>> Anonymous
Oh lawdy, is Shaq in heaven?
>> Anonymous
>>488781
lmao
>> Anonymous
>>488585

I just choked on my beer
>> Anonymous
I don't even know anymore
>> Anonymous
>>488539
youre a faggot for A LOT more than that
>> Anonymous
Shaq plays WOW, that's fucking awesome.
>> Anonymous
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWqPnEGzfK8

lost it at sacramento queens
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>Detective oneal does not jordan vander sloots story about what happened to natalee
>> Anonymous
No one else has requested this on the archive? WTF?
>> Anonymous
> Does anyone have the names of the 14 people bush gave pardons

quick, someone get the news to Shaq!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Going to the Suns/OKC game tomorrow, any requests?
>> Anonymous
Write down the names of the 14 people pardoned on a big poster for Shaq.
>> Anonymous
>>489618
Brilliant
>> Anonymous
What a Shaqtacular thread.
>> Anonymous
"Steve Nash is the hip-hop version of Scott Skiles."
-- Shaq
>> Anonymous
> About to go to yoga, gotta get my strecth on

My absolute favourite
>> Anonymous
Just the thought of Shaq doing yoga is cracking me up.
>> Alakazam !!OEP6m59Bksc
This is the best thing to happen to /sp/ since crying tiger
>> Anonymous
>>489913

We need to compile these Shaqisms into a tome to be passed down. He'll be a new, gigantic, black jesus and The Ways of Shaqism will be his gift to the world.

These awesome quotes will be his parables, and statues will be erected in his honor.
>> Anonymous
Wait, he said he has to pay to post things?
>> Anonymous
>>489616
"Hey Shaq, where's my peanut butta?"
>> Anonymous
>"If your n a bad place rt now, the best is yet to come"

wat
>> Anonymous
This is epic.
>> Anonymous
Sticky plox
>> Anonymous
>>485533
>And have a happy Shaqsgiving.
All anons must send him a happy Shaqsgiving. He will 100% respond to that on his twitter.
>> Anonymous
>Everyone was born a genius, i only kept mine a few minutes, lol
>> Anonymous
Needs face of Shaq shooped over a guy slicing a Thanksgiving Turkey with a macro that says Happy Shaqsgiving.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>489987
Sum1 twitter this 1 askin him wen he gets a macys day parade balloon

make sure u type this way shaq is in2 typin this way
>> Anonymous
Bamp for sticky
>> Anonymous
>Just helped a man push his car, schwww im tired
>> Anonymous
>>490087
I'm so on it /sp/artan.
>> Anonymous
Why isn't Shaq playing tonight?
>> Anonymous
>>490601
Suns figured they could throw that scrub Lopez out there and still win.

Could come back to bite them.
>> Anonymous
shaq
>> Anonymous
>>490875

bump for every sage, Shaq wins the pennant!
>> shaq shaq
shaq goes in all fields
>> Anonymous
Bamp
>> Butt Fucking Adams !pRN2GZKsJ.
Honorary /sp/artan.
>> Anonymous
>>490601
he's still standing in front of the OKC memorial
>> Find Shaqsgiving Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Was at the game tonight. Someone had a sign that read, "The Suns are SHAQ-tastic!" I was to busy getting my hopes smashed that the Thunder could win to snap a pic. (inb4 seattlebutthurtshitstorm)
>> Anonymous
a winrar is this.
>> Barack ? Star !!YvdR7lWl85/
Such a shaqme that this isn't on the first page.
>> Anonymous
For those who can't wait for the next Twitter update:
http://www.shaqquotes.com/

My Favorite:
“Our offense is like the Pythagorean Theorem. There is no answer.”
>> Barack ? Star !!YvdR7lWl85/
REPORTER: Let’s just say that a snake bit your mom right here, right in the chest area. Would you be willing to suck the venom out to win the title?

SHAQ: No, but I would with your wife.


andddddddddddddddd /thread
>> Anonymous
>>489916

This. We should create banners, artwork, etc. and put all the best quotes and inspiring words of wisdom into a text file or some shit.

Not me, though...I'm far too lazy to do such a thing.
>> Anonymous
Bump for perpetual first page. The first page is now called the Shaqpage, because its Shaqawesome.
>> Anonymous
>>491276
4shaq.org - /sq/ sqorts.
>> Anonymous
0:53

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jshe65EE0So
>> Anonymous
shaq is to /sp/ as putin is to /k/.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>489987

Here is a poorly done version of your request.
>> Anonymous
>“I’ll take 14 out of 15 any day of the week, any week of the month, any month of the year, any year of the century. I don’t know what comes after century.” (On having the Heat’s 14-game winning streak snapped.)

oh fuck I lol'd
>> Anonymous
4chanarchive /sp/

this needs to be remembered for generations to come.
>> Anonymous
>>491320
Shaq trolls himself.
>> Anonymous
shaq
>> Anonymous
>Why do they call minneapolis, the twin cities, nobody here looks a like, waaa waaa waaaaaa

WHY AM I LAUGHING?
>> Anonymous
Did shaq forget about twitter already? He hasn't updated in a WHOLE DAY.
>> Anonymous
>>491346
3 requests made so far, DO IT FAGGOTS!
>> 31 !rNJUUSTJvk
hi i'm 31 from portugal and i request a sticky.
>> Anonymous
>>491697
i support your request, but the last sticky i saw was the one about baseball statistics (was tl;dr)

before that i can't remember, i think it was during the world series.
>> Anonymous
>Thanks for your request.
>It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
>This thread has been requested 5 times now.

>Congrats, your request has just triggered the archival process for thread 483118

fuck yeah
>> sayain zubas !!o6QbIm7BfuM
     File :-(, x)
>>491700
FUCK YEAR ARCIVEN SHIT

wait....thats good, amirite?
>> Anonymous
The big Aristotle.
>> Anonymous
Bow down /sp/artans. We have witnessed a thread of epicness and we owe it all to Shaq and his Twitter.
>> Anonymous
http://zip.4shaq.org/sq/imgboard.html
>> Anonymous
>>491667
Truly profound. The man is a great thinker.
>> Anonymous
I love SHAQ
>> Anonymous
Bump for Shaq's double-double. He's actually playing some really good basketball right now.
>> Anonymous
I hope Shaq has a wonderful Thanksgiving full of Shaqness.
>> Anonymous
>Happy thanksgivn to all the twitterrific people twitterrin in twitterland

Fucking LOL
>> Anonymous
HAPPY SHAQSGIVING /sp/!
>> Anonymous
>Why do they call minneapolis, the twin cities, nobody here looks a like, waaa waaa waaaaaa


wut lol
>> Heynonnynonnymous
Is it too late to make this dude Pope?
>> Anonymous
>>492138
Too bad he cant play in back to backs.
>> Anonymous
>>491346
Sticky is better
>> Anonymous
Shaq's attempt at intellectualism is a hilarious thing.
>> Anonymous
>>492904
he IS an intellectual, muthafucka
>> Anonymous
>>492904
Shaquillectualism
>> Anonymous
I lol'd my ass off.
>> Anonymous
>Bio: VERY QUOTATIOUS
>> Anonymous
>Im still full from thanksgivn jeeeeez

I bet they gave Shaq his own turkey to eat yesterday.
>> Anonymous
> The camera is watchn me twitter wow

The cameras also saw the Suns get raeped.
>> Anonymous
Sticky this muthafucka
>> Anonymous
>Destroyed by the heat jeeeez

doh!
>> Anonymous
>Why is today called black friday
>> Anonymous
>How come i have the mr rogers neighborhhood theme song stuk n my head, iz he still alive
>> Sneak !!+y8MDiWrdyT
>>495337

:(
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>495189
I see what you did there, Shaq...
>> anonymous
He is now added to my Twitter account. Happiness ensues.
>> Anonymous
This is by far the best thread to ever appear on /sp/.
>> Anonymous
1.44

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jshe65EE0So
>> Anonymous
Between this and Warren Ellis, man, I don't know which will give better insane rambling.
>> Anonymous
> How come i have the mr rogers neighborhhood theme song stuk n my head, iz he still alive
>> anonymous
>>495921
I love to see him and Shaq converse....I'd send 2 million pounds of peanut butter to Africa to witness that.
>> anonymous
>>495932
I replied to that: "Sorry man, he died February 27, 2003. Big Bird is still alive, though!"
And yes...I know Big Bird wasn't on fucking Mr. Rogers...
>> Anonymous
>>495936
Oh great, now I have Sesame Street stuck in my head. Thanks a million!
>> anonymous
>>495961
Go watch Wonder Showzen. That'll fix your problem, lickity split. Trust me.