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Dwight !!IWE4zT1BjOi
Welcome, /sp/.

Today, I will be auctioning the Clippers franchise. Los Angeles doesn't want them anymore. Honestly, they're the younger brother that no one truly likes, and we beat their ass when they can't do anything useful.

Any city can bid on the Clippers. They're in good shape, kinda, have Baron Davis and all that. They have nice colors...Oh, and I am sure that they will do their own dry cleaning if you demand them to.

We'll start the bidding at $50.

Any city want to bid $50?
>> Anonymous
Ill give you tree fiddy
>> Anonymous
Buffalo will give you $20 and our second place trophies from football.
>> Anonymous
Seattle will give you a blow job for a new Sonics.
>> Anonymous
>>443830
I ain't giving you no tree fiddy, you goddman Loch Ness monster
>> Dwight !!IWE4zT1BjOi
>>443832

Sorry, but Seattle is not allowed to have the Clippers.

Bad franchise + Bad sports city at the moment = riots.

I don't want people attacking Los Angeles for cursing you with a bad team.

Buffalo currently is winning.
>> Anonymous
St. Louis will give you any beer we can save from the Belgians. Also, we have bunch of niggers with criminal records, /sp/ can always use those.

Bonus: We will send you the Rams back if you can steal the Cardinals and send them back over here.
>> Dwight !!IWE4zT1BjOi
>>443837

Ah...the Rams...they're on the upswing.

St. Louis, I think you might get the Clippers.

We won't really care for the football team as we are terrible football fans in Los Angeles, but we'll come out to the games and drink booze while cheering wildly.
>> Anonymous
San Diego needs a team.

Hell, we'll take the Clippers. Just change the name to something else that doesn't evoke decades of misery and mismanagement.

But you can't have the Chargers.
>> Anonymous
Hawaii here
Actually a state but fuck you

We'll give you $100 and 100 pounds of crystal meth, plus some Filipino hookers
>> Anonymous
Why are Buffalo and San Diego allowed to be in the running since they already HAD the Clippers?
>> Anonymous
buffalo doesn't want the clippers unless you pay us to take them back.
>> Vancouver
Give us another chance. We'll do better this time.

p.s. can we pay in salmon?
>> Anonymous
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Louisville here. We'd like to double the standing cash bid for the Clippers franchise -- $200. In addition, we'll give Donald Sterling 3000 coupons for a free, one-topping Papa John's pizza if he will stay in Los Angeles. As for the players, we promise that we have the finest marijewanna grown east of the Mississippi and that we will provide each and every one of you a personal guard detail anywhere from Murray to Pikeville so you can have sex with as many of our stupid-ass, bleached blond bimbos that you can stand (we normally don't go for that kind of thing here, but we're desperate...we've been fucked over at least twice trying to bring back the Colonels and we're not going to get screwed again).

[KYfag turns to reveal to the other cities the bulge in his back pocket showing he's prepared to substantially increase his bid]
>> Anonymous
Vancouverfag here. How about $150 and a free hockey stick?
>> UZ !kHzD4It5Tc
Denver here. Wanna trade for the Nuggets?
>> Sneak !!+y8MDiWrdyT
Tampa raises the bid to $300 dollars. Finally we'll have a team in all 4 major sports!
>> Anonymous
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>>444026
;_;
>> Sneak !!+y8MDiWrdyT
>>444061

STOP SUCKING YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOSE TO THE FUCKING MEMPHIS GRIZZLES GODDAMN :/
>> Anonymous
Bring it back to San Diego.
>> Anonymous
Kansas City here:

we would love to continue our incredible sporting dominance, adding the Clippers to the Chiefs and Royals.
>> Anonymous
Buffalo, Albany/Troy/Schenectady, Saratoga Springs, Glens Falls, Newburgh, Poughkeepsie, Binghamton, Syracuse, Utica, Niagara Falls, Elmira, Ithaca
>> UZ !kHzD4It5Tc
>>444134
What, no Onieda?
>> Anonymous
Las Vegas has already proved they are capable of getting a sports team.
>> Anonymous
But people actually like the Clippers. They're the only likable LA franchise. And they have much better uniforms than the faggy Lakers.
>> Anonymous
>>444125
you should go about seeing if you can get the Capitals as well