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Anonymous
Rax Grissman thread.

One time in high school football Rax had to throw a slant pattern. "I don't want to throw a fucking slant coach, I fucking go deep!" said Rax. "Run the damn play Rax" the coach responds. Pissed, Rax ran the play. He ended up throwing the slant ball so hard and so fast that he threw a hole right into the wide receiver killing him instantly.

He had sex 57 times with 30 different women that night.
>> Anonymous
Rax Grissman is /sp/'s greatest meme.
>> Anonymous
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>>221065

AHEM
>> Anonymous
RAX GRISSMAN
>> Shas'O Faiz !!oHNZ1QN/tbk
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>>221065
>>221069

A-HEM.
>> Anonymous
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>>221065
>>221069
>>221166
AHEM
>> Anonymous
>>221065
In believe that the most popular memes go in this order:

18-1
Rax Grissman
IF YOU LOOK AT THE SCHEDUAL
Dan Uggla (rising to the top three rapidly)
WITH NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE
BRETT FARVE

you guys can dispute all you want.
>> Anonymous
>>221181
USA WON FIFA!!!!!!!
>> Anonymous
>>221181
>IF YOU LOOK AT THE SCHEDUAL

I've never seen this one. I can't think of any others that really are around anymore (How often do you see the Crying Detroit Tiger anymore, or even Leave ___ To Me?)

Maybe YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD
>> Anonymous
>>221192

Wait no, I remember it now. What a shitty meme.
>> Anonymous
"Leave *blank* to me!" was really hot for a while but has died down recently.
>> Anonymous
Rax Grissman was in the Super Bowl one day and he was feeling in the zone. He saw a guy open on the check down route, but instead he saw a double covered guy 90 yards down field and he threw the ball there only to see it get intercepted. As he walked off the field he saw a cheerleader peeing everywhere looking at him, and he knew things would be just fine.
>> Anonymous
No "Don't every in your life..."?
No Thurman Thomas?

wtf, /sp/. I thought you knew better.
>> Anonymous
>>221222
you can thank the eurofags and their 100+ soccer threads with "leave whatever to me" for that bullshit
>> Anonymous
SAXY RAXY
>> Anonymous
It was 4th and goal on the one inch line with just seconds left in the NFC championship game. The Boars needed a touchdown to win so the coach called for a pitch to the running back for the game winner. Rax yelled, "You know who I am? Im motherfucking Rax Grissman. You give me the fucking ball, faggot. This is my game." Then in retaliation Rax broke both of the running back's knees, and knocked the backup unconscious. Coach had no choice and called far a fade route to the corner of the end zone, which Rax overthrew by a good 20 feet. The Boars had lost the game that day, but inside, Rax knew he was a winner.
>> Anonymous
ITT: LULZ
>> Anonymous
UNLEASH THE DRAGON!!!
>> Anonymous
>>221181
...WHERE THE FUCK IS KAHN?
>> Anonymous
Rax and the late QB coach Pep Hamilton were in a heated fight over Rax's throwing mechanics. Pep thought that Rax's tendency to close his eyes during the forward motion of his arm hurt Rax's accuracy, while Rax did not see why it was important to be accurate when throwing the ball. According to stories Rax got his point across by throwing a football at his QB coach, killing him instantly. He then remarked "It doesn't matter if you have your eyes open IF YOU'RE DEAD."
>> Anonymous
During a recent taping of the popular Sportscenter series “My Wish” a nine year-old Chicago cancer survivor named Tim, died of apparent internal bleeding while visiting his hometown football team’s workout facility.

Team doctors who attempted to resuscitate the young boy were hindered in their attempts at CPR due to rib and sternum fractures that apparently occurred while Tim was at the complex.

It has been confirmed that quarterback, Rax Grissman, has been taken in for questioning after numerous cheerleaders informed Chicago investigators that Mr. Grissman boasted of “giving that faggot the chance to catch the hellfire missiles of the RG-10 fighter jet, and I hope he tells god that he’s next.”
>> Anonymous
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>> Anonymous
Memes you may have forgotten
________________________________________________
Vince Carter (or "/vc")
YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD Bill Laimbeer
Two hand gorilla Dunk
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Memes from the old /sp/ that We've forgotten
_________________________________
I'M ALL IN!
Charles Barkely (Hijacked by 7chan)
Bobby Knight Mysteries
Sharapova bend-over
>> Anonymous
>>221978

There are only forced memes on /sp/ nuevo

And Sherpova Bend-Over is still alive and kicking. Replace it with /sp/ loev Peyton commericals.
>> Anonymous
so Rax was a frequent visitor of a sports page on a popular website called 4chon. Then one day it went down. it was the offseason, so all he had been doing was trolling the internet, and occasionally going to the local pop-warner league games and killing kids while playing catch.

anyway, when he found out some faggot was running a program to make his favorite site not respond to his clicks, he was upset. his wife said "rax, just calm down, there's nothing you can do from here, they are very far away. he smashed his mouse down on the desk, shattering it into over 9000 pieces, one of which hit the cat and killed it instantly, then picked up his monitor and hurled it out the window. it landed in north carolina and killed some 15 year old faggot that was leading the ddos.
>> Anonymous
>>221914

Oh my god... I cried I laughed so hard
>> Anonymous
I love this thread
>> Anonymous
>>222835
me too, i've just request 4chanarchive.org of it, this thread must continue and be saved
>> Anonymous
>>222858
also, we now have two threads in the archive, so someone did something for /sp/
>> Anonymous
>>222859
We've had better threads. The two archived threads are shit.
>> Anonymous
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Hey Faggots,

My name is Rex, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever threw it deep? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than throwing slant passes.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn japanese people"? I also have a banging hot girlfriends (They just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch
>> Anonymous
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leave rex alone, assholes, you do not understand what it means to win a national championship. Also, how to party, because you are fat, ugly , and not invited, mostly, cause you are an Ohioan. Sucks being you.
>> Anonymous
THIS THREAD NEEDS MOAR AWESOME RAX STORIES!
>> Anonymous
Bump for funny as fuck rax stories
>> Chocolate Hitler !!WCFvcOo5Pka
>>221181
There's no way Uggla is ahead of WITH NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE.
>> Anonymous
RAX FOR THREEEEEEEE
>> Anonymous
While at the U of F, Rax and Steve Spurrier got into a heated argument over who in their college days, was the better QB. It went a little something like this..

Steve: Rax. Do you really think you're ever gonna win a Heisman? You're a turnover machine!

Rax: Steve..do you think I give a shit? I'm going to get drafted. And high. Did you ever kill a small child with a NUCLEAR BOMB from the GUNS [Rax flexes]

Steve then got frustrated, and left for the Redskins.

After seeing Florida win a championship years later, Rax was still satisfied because he didn't have a pussy arm like Chris Leak.
>> Anonymous
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>> Anonymous
It was a typical Thursday morning at the Roadside Ramada Motel in Scottsdale Arizona. However, that morning, the Ramada had had a not so typical visitor. In town training for the NFL preseason were the Chicago Boars, and their star quarterback Rax Grissman had payed 4 call girls and spot midget a much need visit the night before.

Usually, Rax doesnt hang around placed like this through the morning. He had already had too many incidents with dead hookers to know that it's better to GTFO the night before, just in case. However, that night Rax was so high on roofies and cough syrup to notice that he managed to stay the whole night.

On the way down from his room, he took the elevator, where he ran into a man and a young boy, presumably his son. Rax thought he would take the opportunity to make the kid's day, and maybe give him and his dad an autograph or two.

He said to the boy, "Hey kid, would you like an autograph or football or something? Its not everyday that you get to meet someone as awesome as me!"

The boy looked up at Rax with a blank expression on his face, but did not say anything.

Rax was kind of put off. He snarked at the boy , "Hey, dont you even know who I am? Dont you even know the greatest motherfucking quarterback in the history of the world when you see him?"

The kid merely stared back at him silent and confused.

Rax was not happy. The boy looked to his dad with a troubled look and the man said, "Oh, sir you dont understand, you see-"

Rax cut him off, "Oh no, I see. Your kids a smart ass huh? Now kid Im only gonna ask you one more time, whos the greatest motherfucking quarterback, huh?

Again the boy was silent.
>> Anonymous
"Now hold on now, kid. Do you even know you your talking to?

"No but sir, you dont see," said the man, "Please let me expla-"

Grissman cut him off. "No, no. Answer me now bitch! Who is the greatest motherfucking quarterback ever?! Well?!?!"

The boy merely stood silently, with his mouth open staring back helplessly at the giant steroid-fueled mass of Grissman.

"Wrong answer bitch!!" yelled Rax as he crushed the kids skull against the elevator wall.

The man cried out in agony, "Oh my son, why did you kill my poor son?"

Rax gave him a stern look and snapped back, "That bitch needed to learn a lesson in manners. When someone speaks to Rax Grissman you better answer, or you face the fucking fury! I dont fuck around, I go deep!"

The man cried. "But, you fool he was a mute, thats what I was trying to tell you."

"Mute?" Grissman said, "Hey why do you even care anyway, thats like being retarded or something, I just did you a favor, faggot. "

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. Grissman left the man cradling his blood stump of a son lying on the floor.

That morning, Rax treated himself to the Double Bacon Slam at Denny's for taking the time to make the world a better place.
>> Anonymous
ive never laughed so hard to a topic

Rax is sick man
>> Anonymous
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>> Anonymous
Grossman’s Gunslinger attitude is illustrated in his desire to throw long passes, similar to his youth idol, Brett Favre.

Oh god rax grissmans wikipedia is awesome.
>> Anonymous
http://www.rexgrossman.com/

/sp/ this is your holy land calling.
>> Anonymous
Rax Grissman was in the Super Bowl, thirty seconds left, undefeated season on the line. There was a man open 95 yards away. It was then he realized that Dan Uggla had joined the NFL and the Chicago Bears as their new wide reciever.

With men all over him, he screamed, "FUCK IT, I'M GOING DEEEEP!" He threw a bomb into the endzone, only having it dropped by Uggla. The Bears lose the Super Bowl 17-14 to the 10-6 Colts and Rax thought everything was fine.

He was later transported to heaven by God for his actions, thus having sex with a thousand virgins.
>> Anonymous
>>225076
lol
>> Anonymous
Apparently Rax made a prediction in the Chicago Times that he'd throw for over six thousand yards this year. When pressed further about the nature of his boast Rax clarified that he counted the yards whether his throws were caught or not
>> Anonymous
>>225102
This made my entire day.
>> Anonymous
needs to be bumped
>> Anonymous
good lord, i cant wait till the nfl season started, then /sp/ will truly be gold
>> Anonymous
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>>225102
>> Anonymous
Rax Grissman doesn't give a shit. Some faggot kid wanted an autograph to give to his cancerous father for his birthday but Rax told the kid to fuck off. When confronted by a bystander Rax Grissman launched a frozen rope into the pussy's abdomen. "This is FOOTBALL, not Oprah. The Boars don't pay me to stroke egos."
>> Anonymous
SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY SAXY RAXY
>> Anonymous
FACT - Rex Grossman posts on /sp/ which is why this meme refuses to die
>> Anonymous
bump for such epicness
>> Anonymous
>>225623

lol I could picture that
>> Anonymous
>>225623

Shut up faggot, no I don't.
>> Anonymous
>>226480
lol sexy rexy does it for the lulz.
>> Anonymous
Brett Farve can throw a decent deep pass.

Rax Grissman can throw Brett Farve even farther.
>> Anonymous
>>227470
Mytt Leanort can throw both of them 500 yds. After beer bong. good night jerks!
>> Anonymous
>>227470
>>227472
ur both wrong! Johnny Damon can throw Grissman over 9000 miles away!
>> Anonymous
need more Rax stories