File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Ok /sp/, it's scenario time.

The aliens have landed and they have made it clear that they intend to destroy us. Unless... we send them 1 individual to compete in an unspecified competition against the alien's greatest champion.

Now, we have no idea what this competition involves and we don't even know what the aliens look like since they are giving us this information from their ships. So its up to us to send the athlete on this planet that we feel would give us the best chance at any random competition the dirty, dirty, alien bastards can think of.

My vote: LeBron James. He's very tall, strong, and fast and he's also pretty intelligent. (Runs most of the plays for his team... eh hangs out with Warren Buffet and doesn't afraid of anything. etc) He's also young and hasn't suffered any major injuries in his career, so its safe to say he's pretty durable. The only downside to LeBron is we have no idea what kind of fighter he is. So if its a fighting competition, we could be fucked.

Who does /sp/ vote for?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
erm...yeah.
>> Anonymous
Shawn Johnson.

Because I don't really care about the world and it'd be worth it.
>> Anonymous
I for one would welcome our new alien overlord.
>> Anonymous
We would use SCIENCE! to fuse Phelps and Bolt into one superbeing
>> Anonymous
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Obligatory
>> Anonymous
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>> Anonymous
bruce willis
>> McGarity
     File :-(, x)
too fucking easy op
>> Anonymous
What if it's some sort of academic competition?
>> McGarity
>>264354

i mean you did say alien
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Tecmo Bo Jackson
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
>>264354

lol

No, he's the Alien Overlord deciding our fate.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
We would need a mix:

-Phelps (swimming)
-Bolt (running)
-Ed Witten (intelligence)
-Heidi Klum (beauty)
>> Anonymous
I'll probably get flamed for this, but Sidney Crosby (Awaiting butthurt Philly fans calling him Cindy). He's pretty smart, got nicknamed 'freak' by his team-mates because of his physique, took fighting lessons from Laraque, is alledgedly the most atheltic guy in the NHL. Doesn't seem like a bad choice.
>> McGarity
     File :-(, x)
>>264362

shit i dont even like the cubs, marissa miller > all
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
If TV has taught us anything, it is that when inter-galactic races come to challenge in an athletic competition for universal dominance it will be in basketball. We shall use the power of Lebron to embarrass those alien fools and prove that we most assuredly have the skills to pay the space bills.
>> Anonymous
lebron is actually pretty dumb
high bball iq
but actual intelligence is low
i'd vote dwight howard tbh
>> Anonymous
>>264337
Have you seen him? As soon as the aliens look sideways they'll have a shiv in their spleen.
>> Anonymous
I would send a Floyd Mayweather jr.

he is pretty agile and strong
>> Anonymous
>>264401
what if you had to throw a ball into a hoop which was 10 feet off the ground, while standing more than 6 feet away from it? LOL
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
This already happened
>> Anonymous
TIM MOTHERFUCKING TEBOW
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Hai guise. Can I fight the aliens?
>> Anonymous
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Big Shot Bob for the win!!!
>> Anonymous
SPACE JAM 2
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
>>264501
Seconded. eh shanks ppl, gets away with it then wins super bowl mvp as a linebacker and gets denied his trip to disneyworld and doesnt afraid of anything
>> Feraligatr !VJOf9vVc0E
     File :-(, x)
>>264337
What if the contest isn't physical, but mental? We could use a smart guy who is also pretty physical. Who could fit that bill?

WHY /sp/'s HERO CHAD PENNINGTON, THAT'S WHO.

You see this fucker right here? Most accurate quarterback in history. He only may throw five yards but you're half-way to the motherfucking first down. One more of those babies and you've moved the god-damn change. Chad is un-beatable and would be the best representative to the world.
>> Anonymous
>>264523
And yet he got cut because some 59 year old faggot from Mississippi couldn't get a job at his old team. Now your Chad roams the beaches of Miami.
>> Anonymous
>>264523
Who said Chod Panningten is /sp/'s hero?
>> Feraligatr !VJOf9vVc0E
>>264532
How can he not be? Have you seen his offense? It's un-beatable. You can't beat 100% accuracy 5 yard passes down the field. It's impossible, every team will lose every time. I assume the Jets only lost (and they made the playoffs with him, twice!) due to their defense while he was there.

>>264529
That's okay, the Jets can't handle Bret's rocket arm after Chad's precise arm. I expect Lavernius Coles's arms to fall right the fuck off.
>> Anonymous
>>264532
Evidently our hero is Saxy Raxy.
>> Feraligatr !VJOf9vVc0E
>>264523
Also by change I mean chains.
>> Feraligatr !VJOf9vVc0E
>>264544
Well I'd definitely take him in a going deep contest.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
/thread
>> Black ? Star !x8ngkAZjXE
     File :-(, x)
Too many variables.

It might be a race or obstacle course so you don't want to send someone heavy.

It might be mental competition so you want someone with the ability to think.

Could be anything from swimming to gymnastics
That being said the choice is obvious
>> anonymous
     File :-(, x)
especially after last night
>> Anonymous
I say we ask permission to use their time machine and pick up Jim Brown in his prime. That or just nuke the shit out of their mothership.
>> Anonymous
THE TWIST:

The Alien is TUPAC SHAKUR
>> Anonymous
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>>264921
GENIUS
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
HEY FUCK YOU GUYS. YOURE DEAD TO RAX NOW. DEEEAD.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>264523
>moved the god-damn change.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
There can only be one.
>> Anonymous
Mike Tyson
>> Anonymous
As much as I hate the guy, Tim Duncan. Everyone knows he's a Hall of Famer Power Forward, but what people don't know is that he used to swim at an Olympic level, plays Tennis on the side and he's smart. He graduated from Wake Forest with an honors degree in Psychology. Plus he plays D&D on the side (He has a tattoo of a Jester and another one of a Wizard) so he's good when it comes to strategy games. Also he's got the hot wife competition down.
>> Black ? Star !x8ngkAZjXE
>>265330
Too old

we would need someone in their prime
>> caperus
the love child of favre of phelps.
>> Anonymous
>>265355
He's only 31. Mmm what about Steve Nash. Can also do it all, but not injury prone. Two years older too.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
hai guise
>> Black ? Star !x8ngkAZjXE
>>265371
31 is already on the decline however and we have no idea how long these competitions would last either. The choice would be difficult but know it should be someone no older than 29(for stamina and the like) and no younger than 23(for experience)

Also it should be someone we give all the benefits of doping as they would definitely need it.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
duh
>> Black ? Star !x8ngkAZjXE
>>265381
jokes
>> Anonymous
>>265380
In that case I nominate LT. Fast, strong, and knows how to play tricks. He graduated from college so that makes him at least smarter than Lebron.
>> Anonymous
it's a spelling quiz.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>265393

M....E...D....uhhh....DAMNIT NOT AGAIN
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
If they are killer aliens i would have to send this guy. Seeing as he is very good athletically and he has lots of experience with violence and guns pretty much puts him at the top of the list.

Also since it's just one person and it might be basketball he might as well go alone since we all know what a team player he is.
>> Kilgamayan !2BklmILFiE
i lik 2 send teh UNDERTAKER

he sh00ts litening
>> SSG posted here
>>265398
SHOULD HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE, LOL.

Oh wait, you say you would have gone to Ohio State? I guess we must assume you still wouldn't know how to spell, for no athlete goes to class at Ohio State.