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Cleveland Fag
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So I was at the game last night. It was dollar dog night (why didn't any of you chuckleheads tell me that they were low quality shit porkdogs?) and I sat in 113, 12, A. For those of who you don't know where that is, that is front row, right field, right next to (practically IN) the visitor's bullpen.
They're great seats. For 20 bucks, you get a decent view of the action and you really get the talk to the guys in the pen. I talked to Julian Tavarez for nearly an entire inning, David Aardsma (who claimed he was flattered I had him on my Fantasy Team), and Manny Delcarmen, mostly about his amazing facial hair.
Now, I don't know if all bullpens do this, but when the Sox had runners in scoring position, they drum. They have some pretty decent candences that they do with empty water bottles, tapping the caps on the backs of chairs. After 3 innings of this, I peak down and asked who was drumming.
Jonathan Papelbon (atleast that's who I thought it was, I'm pretty sure now that I am looking at pictures online) looks up at me and stares. I ask him again, 'Who's drummin', it's really good.'
He points at his cap. I didn't understand. He pointed at mine, and made a choke ala Guillen a few years back. Then, he pointed at his ring finger.
'Come on, low blow, dude.' I tell him. He takes his finger to his eye and runs it down his face like he's shedding a tear and then turns back. It's funny that everyone in the pen is such a cool guy outside of Papelbon. Later, I caught Tavarez's attention and ask him who drummed, apparently they all do.
Jonathan Papelbon is a fuckin' dick.
I knew (mediocre, injured) Seahawk Robb Simms in Highschool.
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