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Anonymous
Dear Jed Lowrie,
I know we haven't had much time to talk, what with me playing starting shortstop all the time. A little tip: you will get a lot more money if you throw the ball as hard and high as possible over the first basemen's head. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go get ready for the game ton...what? I'm not playing? I told you guys I was fine! I'M FUCKING FINE 11 ERRORS IS NOT THAT BAD!
Sincerely, Julio Lugo, starting shortstop for the Boston Red Sox
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