Teach me how to play basketball.
Teach me how not to get dunked on.
What a waste. All this guys needs is heart and he's set.
Teach me how not to be gay.
Teach me how to rap.
>>8128no.
Teach me how to win in playoffs.
Teach me how to run up the middle.
Teach me how to block.
>>8145you fucking drafted him.
>>8170Shit, how about a straight line.Reggie Bush probably couldn't pass a sobriety test sober. He'd start juking the cop.
i lol'd @ thread
Teach me how not to fight dogs.
So many lulz
>>8193MJ is evil. Imagine all the fans' hearts when he beat those other teams for his championships. Imagine all the greats that didn't get their rings. MJ is the most evil man in sports history. Just ask Charles about his chaos dunk.
>>8228that man is a God
Teach me how not to beat up strippers.
>>8233MJ should be the enemy/hero of /sp/. He is fueled by the fans' broken hearts and their tears.
Teach me how to win a ring.
Teach me how to take steroids.
oh how i missed /sp/
Teach me how to not smoke weed.
Teach me how to not fail until the end.
do a real non nigger sport
Teach me how to coach.and how to stop eating 4 dinners a night.
Teach me how to murder my wife.
Teach me how not to air ball free throws.
>>8277Sure. I'll teach you.
Teach me how to still retired.
>>8285lololol
Teach me to be Whole Amazing.
>>8304I lol'd.
>>8320Then you must've missed it the first 132 times.
ITT why this board needs to stay
Teach me how to coach.
>>8276sort of lol'd
Teach me how to GM.
Teach me to snap a ball.
>>8454Teach me how to hold ball.
Teach me to go 18-1... again.
Teach me to not beat my wife.
Teach me fucking everything.
Teach me proper grammar, charisma and how to not make a fool of myself.
>>8489wrong board
Teach me how to suck.
>>8490Oh. This is not /sp/? Sports and politics?
Teach me how to not destroy franchises
Teach me how to play defense.
Teach me to not shoot my friend in the face.
>>8504It was fucking birdshot; the guy barely had a bruise.
Teach me how to lose.
>CapitalistBastard !!f/pELCnjRD0
>>8515The targets can't fly. They're always on the ground. Surgery fixed everything before that press conference.
>>8515This thread just got worse...
teach me how to fix basketball games
>>8270teach me how to beat tiger
Teach me how to rape ass
>>8601No one can teach you that.
Teach me how to draft.and coach.and do anything related to basketball but play point guard.
>>8609Lol, I canYeah, me too
>>8620Teach me how to fire you
Teach me how to win in a fight with an inanimate object. (In my case, a wall)
>>8628Give me 50 million dollars I'll teach you.
Teach me how to not get cancelled.In fact, teach me how to be interesting or entertaining in any way at all.
teach me how to win home games
>>8648He won the most important one. Not even Marino can say that.
DAN MARINOS DOLPHINS SUCKED SHIT WITHOUT HIM. LOOK AT THEM NOW.IF MARINO HAD THE GIANTS D, MAYBE HE'D HAVE MOAR RINGS THAT BART STARR, JOE MONTANA, AIKMAN, AND THAT GUY WITH THE STEELERS COMBINEDFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKK,
>>8698SAYING THINGS IN CAPS LOCK WON'T MAKE THEM TRUETHE GIANTS D WASN'T THAT GREAT. JUST A ONE-TIME THING. THEY SUCKED SHIT IN THE REGULAR SEASON BUT TURNED IT ON IN THE PLAYOFFS.
>>8698Dan Marino could be almost as good as Terry Bradshaw? Whoa...
>>8648>home games>home>>8667>super bowl
>>8709I mean he doesn't have to win home games...
>>8703They ranked 7th in the league during the regular season dumbass.
>>8667Arizona=/=New Jerseyseriously, if he wants to be great, he needs to win where his fans are
Teach me how to SHUT THE FUCK UP
Teach me how to win championships with Shaq.
>>8838>without
nba died when Michael, Magic, Clyde, Dominique, Charles and Larry retired once they left it all became about the money and hype not about being a GREAT sportsperson! fuck the nba and fuck the douchbags who play in it
Great thread
>>8907Just like every other sport amirite?
>>8907welcome to the new generation?
>>8907We're in a rebuilding phase.
the 03 draft got some great future star. also lol at the 2000 draft.
Teach me how to play golf.
>>8963I'll teach you to use that club, if you know what I mean.
>>8964you lost me
Never in my wildest dreams I'd see a thread with Kwame as OP.
>>8963I know what you mean, stud.
>>8966>Following a pre-draft workout with the Wizards, it has been reported that Brown told Jordan or then-Wizards coach Doug Collins "if you draft me, you'll never regret it."
>>8978STEPHEN A. Must be laughing his ass off
bump for greatness
Teach me how to beat SEC.
teach me how to actually be able to play
Teach me how to have healthy non-injured players.
teach us how to be a good hockey team
Tech me how to beat Montreal.
>>9349*teach
teach me how to beat the Rangers this season
Teach me how to be entertaining.
>>9349Alex Auld definitely needs the lessons too.
teach me how to not get suspended
>>9358impossibleit's soccer
Teach me how to be a good analyst.
Teach me how to get out of jail.
>>10090LOLOLOL
Teach me how to save a 2 run lead in the bottom of the 13th inning.
Teach me how to lose my job to a third string quarterback.
Teach me how to win in the playoffs.
Teach me how to start a winning streak.
Teach me how to not violate NCAA rules.
Teach me how to draft.
Teach me how to retire.
Teach me how to graduate.
Teach me the Razorback's chant.
Teach me how to act.
>>10156HE WAS AWESOME IN ONE TREE HILL!
Teach me how to win basketball game
Teach me how to make sports games.
Teach me how to turn right
Teach me how to trade franchise player for nothing
>>10327ok
teach me how to be A MAN
Teach me how not to be a pussy.
>>10343He used to be so good....
>>10343other running turn into a superstar cause of the offensive line. FUCKING IF BARRY SANDER HAS HIS OFFENSIVE LINE 3000 YARDS PER SEASON.
Teach me how to sell superbowl tickets.
Teach me how to be black.
fucking 3 days thread is not deleted yet? this is why /sp/ will be dead before the nba playoffs.
teach me how to hit in the playoffs
>>10390how about you get out, faggot
Teach me how to quarterback
>>10390its because people are still posting stupid fucking bitch
Teach me how to start other positions than 5 shooting guards.
>>10378fucking lol'd
Teach me how to troll
teach me how to make up my mind
teach me how to not bite a towel
Teach me how to build muscles.
Teach me how to stay healthy.
Teach me how to be a soldier.
Teach me how to kill franchises
Teach me when to call a timeout.
Teach me how to get drunk
>>10806k lol
teach me work ethic
>>10811I need some of that too
Teach me when to call a timeout
Teach me how to stay alive.
>>10821A dead athlete is like a dead soldier man. At least pay some respects.
>>10821holy shit ended with 21
>>10820k
Teach me how to find a job.
teach me how to stay with one team
Teach me how to pass up Adrian Peterson.
Teach me how to walk again
>>10824HOW THE FUCK IS A DEAD ATHLETE LIKE A DEAD SOLDIER?
>>10979Pat Tillman
>>10979if you play at miami you are a soldier i guess.
Teach me how to play offense
>>10988tilman is a dead soldiertaylor is a dead athleteBIG FUCKING DIFFRENCE
Teach me how to resign my core players.
>>10401winner. close thread.
>>10821THATS NOT FUNNY MY BROTHER DIED THAT WAY
>>11782BOOM LEGSHOT
>>11847I shouldn't have lol'd at that.