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Commissioner Red
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FACTS:
*The Penguins cannot win the Cup without Lemieux and Jagr. *The Steelers only won Super Bowl XL with the help of the referees, as Roethlisberger went out and played a Fucking Awful Game. Seattle got screwed worse than Bret Hart. *The Pittsburgh Pirates are have three times as many 100-loss seasons as 100-win seasons, and their perennial losing ways ruined Bobby Bonilla's career and drove Barry Bonds to do steroids. Also, they give up midseason and ship their best players out, thus securing their everlasting failure. *One of the only major metropolitan areas so ridden with crime, disease, filth, and horrible sports fans that the NBA will not venture into. They, however, HAVE given franchises to Detroit, New Orleans, Chicago, Atlanta, Washington DC, and Sacramento.
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