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Anonymous
IT'S 8TH GRADE GYM CLASS. WELL IT WAS 7TH AND 8TH GRADE GYM CLASS. I WENT TO A SMALL CHRISTIAN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, WHERE THEY TEST YOU ON BIBLE SHIT, LIKE HOW MANY PEOPLE JESUS KILLED. THE CORRECT ANSWER IS -1
SO BECAUSE OF THE SMALL CLASS SIZES, WE HAD A COMBINED GYM CLASS, AS TAUGHT BY OUR SCIENCE TEACHER, BECAUSE THEY COULD NOT AFFORD A FUCKING GYM TEACHER. SO THE GAME WAS KICKBALL, 7TH VS. 8TH. THE 8TH GRADERS ALWAYS LOVE THAT, BECAUSE WE ALWAYS KICKED THE 7TH GRADE PUSSY ASSES. WE PLAYED IN THE EMPTY BACK CORNER OF THE PARKING LOT. THE BACK CORNER WAS HOME PLATE AND THERE WAS A GRASSY HILL BEHIND IT WHICH FUNCTIONED AS A RAIN RUNOFF. IT WAS DRY BECAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING, WHICH ACCORDING TO MY SCHOOL, DIDN'T EXIST.
SO ANYWAY, MY FIRST AT-BAT, I GOT CAUGHT IN A RUN DOWN BETWEEN FIRST AND SECOND. THERE WAS A RUNNER ON THIRD, SO I TRIED TO BUY SOME TIME FOR HIM. I STOOD IN FRONT OF THE SECOND BASEMAN, DARING HIM TO TAG ME. WE STOOD OFF FOR A FUCKING MINUTE, BEFORE I JUST SLAPPED THE BALL OUT OF HIS BITCH HANDS. THE TEACHER USED SCIENCE TO FIGURE OUT I SHOULD BE OUT, AND WORSE OF ALL, THE RUNNER ON THIRD DIDN'T MOVE A FUCKING INCH. FUCKING KIDS TODAY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SMALLBALL. THEY THINK THEY CAN ONLY SCORE ON A HOMERUN AND PAY MEN TO INJECT DRUGS INTO THEIR ASS TO MAKE THEM BIG, BALD, AND BLACK.
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