File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
I think the over all moral of the story is don’t kidnap hookers. They get the cage all sticky. And they do things, creepy things, with the bars. And as everyone knows, Big Bob’s house of cages and lederhosen won’t except returns of cages covered in herpes. I mean you can try, but, then you just get into a fight with big Bob (who is a nine foot tall transvestite in a bright pink wig ) and wake up in Mexico with your other kidney missing.

At that point you end up having to kidnap someone to get a new kidney. Not so bad except you have no Ice, just 93 jars of mayonnaise. Oh that and no idea what a kidney looks like. At this point you only have one choice, since taking out all the organs, putting them in a cooler and walking to the nearest hospital screaming “I NEED A KIDNEY TRANSPLANT. BUT DON’T WORRY I HAVE A BIG BOX OF ORGANS, ONE OF THEM IS PROBABLY A KIDNEY” would come off as a bit suspicious, your gonna need to wake the guy up and ask him for help. Now this would all be fine and good but waking up, submerged in mayonnaise, with someone standing over you, holding a butcher knife and screaming “WHERE ARE YOUR KIDNEYS!” tends to put people in a uncooperative mood. Chances are that mayo boy will start screaming.
>> Anonymous
So next your at Walmart, buying a “Little Miss Yappy brand ball gag”, and as you pay for your purchase the clerk asks you what you need the ball gag for. Now this can go one of two ways, you can struggle through the uncomfortably long explanation of the whole Big Bob, Kidney, mayonnaise thing, or you can take the easy way out and stab the clerk in the face. Well now that the clerks dead the line behind you starts nagging you with such lines as “OH GOD HE’S DEAD!” and “HURRY UP, MY ICE CREAM IS MELTING”. You courteously drag the body aside only to realize you now have a corpse to be rid of.. Cleverly understanding that a bleeding, human shaped trash bag sticks out like a sore thumb, you decide to head to the hardware section and see if they have any hacksaws.

93 aisles, 3 saw blades and half way through the torso, you realize that its starting to get ridiculous and head for the meat and frozen section in hopes of a table saw. Unable to find one, you roll doubles and are able to tear the torso in half. It’s just about this time that a walmart security guard rides up on a dogsled and says something along the lines of “what are you doing?” From here it proceeds in one of three ways, first you could try and find a compromise that both of you could agree on and then try think of a better plan after he shoots you. Secondly you could gently but firmly ram the upper torso of the clerk onto your head and explain that you were merely searching for this fabulous new hat. Then when the security guard fails to see the logic in that, you proceed with the final option, you kill him.
>> Anonymous
Understanding that it will be hard to carry all the bodies you head to the back room of the meat department, searching for a meat hook, to make all the corpse dragging a little more manageable. Upon reaching the back you run into a Butcher and politely ask him for a meat hook. Now while there is a chance He’ll understand perfectly, give you a meat hook and bus fare to get home (lost your wallet in Mexico, damn you Big Bob), chances are that he’ll ask difficult questions like “why do you need a meat hook?”, “how did you get back here?” and “ why is there a torso on your head?”. 43 seconds and some over the top violence later, your standing on top of a dogsled, in the middle of walmart, with a torso on your head, dragging the bodies of a security guard and a butcher. Things are starting to get weird.

Setting the dogs off down the aisles, you star dismembering the lower half of the clerk, with a cleaver lifted from the meat department, and throwing the parts down what ever aisle you’re passing. About the time you finish dismembering the Guard (you decided to keep the torso as a hat, just because it was so stylish) the severed head of the Butcher stars reciting Shakespeare, albeit in backwards Latin, which sound eerily similar to a kangaroo being hit by the starship Enterprise. And while you love the sound of marsupials being run down at warp 5 as much as anyone, it quickly becomes bothersome, provoking you into kicking the head through a nearby plate glass window. As the sled reaches 97 miles an hour the flux capacitor kicks in and sends you 36 minutes sideways. (note: normally flux capacitors kick in at 88mph but the sled was Canadian.)
>> Anonymous
This sideways jump puts you directly in front of the anti-Christ, which resembles a 6 headed hamster with the faces of Dick Cheney, OprahWinfrey, Carrot top, Michel Jackson, Hilary Clinton, and Big Bob( I fucking knew it).

Annoyed about being bothered during teatime, it promptly vomits the US Senate at you, knocking you 36 minutes sideways in the other direction, landing you back at Big Bob’s house of cages and lederhosen. The ensuing argument begins with you screaming the phrase “BOB’S THE ANTI-CHRIST! EVERYONE JUMP OUT A WINDOW!”. Needless to say, it doesn’t go well, yet exactly 26.5 seconds before Bob uses your face to clean his cheese grater, the sled, traveling slower in time then you because of shoddy Canadian craftsmanship and being driven by the Butchers head, fuses to Bob’s brainstem. Realizing that you killed Bob before he could steal your kidneys, or before any of the unfortunate events of the walmart incident, and now don’t need anything anymore. You pick up the butchers severed head, which still exists thanks to bad Canadian engineering, and skip home happily.

Of course this is all hypothetical and has nothing to do with what I did last Tuesday.
>> Anonymous
...I love you, i mean officially i want you to leave po and never return, but other then that i love you.
>> Anonymous
Report+ignore,
report+ignore.