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Anonymous
Good Exposure on the background, but the girl is a little overexposed. Turn down the flash power + diffuse it if possible.
Also The pose doesn't look that natural, as her head is hunched forward, and she has a kind of "bleh" look on her face. Try positioning her slightly at an angle (it makes sitting more natural)
Background isn't adding anything so if possible blur it out more (wider aperture, or zoom in more, The lens you had on isn't the greatest for this unfortunately) Also if possible don't cut her head off, vertical orientation might help a bit.
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