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Anonymous
I am not certain what the ethical difference is between publishing in a book and "publishing" on flickr or here.
Given your discussion of WHY you feel it may be disrespectful, I am not even sure how publishing comes into it -- if I understand you, you're most concerned about whether it is OK to walk around in the cemetary and take the pictures, and that has already happened.
FWIW, I also believe in life after death, and my thought is that I would not mind you being there taking pictures, or publishing pictures, or keeping my name "alive" if you can read it in a picture. I also don't plan to be hanging around the cemetary, as I suspect there will be more interesting things to do, but who knows...
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