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Anonymous File :-(, x)
Needs an eye-catching element that can be absorbed quickly. Then they read the copy. They get the message. You reiterate your eye-catcher at the end. Bam.
Incidentally, I like the photo, the exposure, and the color very much. This is really pleasant. You just needed a little better typography. I'd consider a revision of the copy, too, but I didn't feel like doing the shooping necessary for that. Original pic plox?
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