File :-(, x, )
DEAR CAPTAIN OR GRAPH, Anonymous
Troll Police meta comic #1:

[PANEL 1, two cat people sit on a couch with game controllers]
FURFAG 1: Boy it is hard being college roommate cats who are also ninjas!
FURFAG 2: Yes but we can relax by playing these fine video games. Hey check out the latest The Matrix game, starring characters from The Matrix!
[PANEL 2, a generic demon appears and looks menacing]
DEMON: Ruu!
FURFAG 1: Oh no it is the demon warlord who rules this amazing land of magic!
[PANEL 3, the demon]
DEMON: You two samurai ninjas who are college roommate cats who play video games have been a thorn in my side for too long, also you are out of touch and I'm out of time.
[PANEL 4, demon background, cat ninja roommates foreground, unsheathing their magic enhanced super dee duper katanas and/or going super DUPER sayian 5 or some shit]
DEMON: If you wish to defeat me, you must face me on my terms, a game of Dance Dance Revolution... to the death!

Oekaki post(Time: 27 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
27 mins to draw that?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Troll Police meta comic #2:

[PANEL ONE, catgirl Chesty McTitslap looking cute, nipples jutting through shirt]
CATGIRL: Oh Webcomic Author, please do not stare at my engorged nipples and possibly labia, I am under the influence of my mating urges for the week!
WEBCOMIC AUTHOR: [Giant spraying wacky nosebleed] WUHHHHHHHHHHHHH?
[PANEL 2, "Later that day!"]
TITTIES: Oh you are so kind and sweet for locking me in this closet while my animal instincts subside! I am sorry I made you beat my ass to within an inch of my life to get me in here!
WEBCOMIC AUTHOR: I respect you as a womyn and as a fellow human being. *nods to self*

(I don't care if he is actually nodding or if the *nods to self* part is actually in the text. Character designs as in attached picture, AND I WORKED PRETTY HARD ON THE DESIGNING BECAUSE I DESIGN WEBCOMIC CHARACTERS YEP.)
>> Anonymous
>>174271
is this really a meta-script or do you expect it to be done word for word ? I'll do it either way <_<
>> Anonymous
>>174270
What can I say, drawing is hard.
>> Anonymous
>>174273
Doesn't matter to me. The "meta" part means that it's not part of the actual Troll Police story (where David Caruso is hunting down a webcomic trolling syndicate). The real story script is here, which I just wrote for myself so I would remember what my ideas were. http://www.caltrops.com/pointy.php?action=viewPost&pid=86298
>> Anonymous
Hey anons don't take all the good ideas and leave the tripfags with nothing to draw (I don't even want to tell you how disappointed they would be if that happened).
>> captain or graph
     File :-(, x)


Oekaki post(Time: 11 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> captain or graph
     File :-(, x)


Oekaki post(Time: 7 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
>>174278
>>174279
These are creepy and disturbing and horrible and I love them.
>> Anonymous
>>174276
SHIT JUST GOT REAL
>> Anonymous
>>174278
>>174279
oh my god
>> Dis
>>174278
Haha, oh wow!
>> Anonymous
Well if anyone wants me to write more comic scripts I can do that easy. It may take me 27 minutes to draw like 50 lines, but I could write like a billion more of these delightful comic scripts in a day.
>> Anonymous
Captain, Graph, if either one of you do this, I'll lose 100 Respect Points for you.
>> Anonymous
Wtf is this shit?
Stop it.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
They think that we're the devil, so let's send them to hell.

Oekaki post(Time: 13 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Source:>>174278, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Fuck the middle east there's too many problems they just get in the way we sure could live without em they hijack our planes and raise our oil prices let's kill em all and have a ball and end their fuckin crisis.

Oekaki post(Time: 11 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Source:>>174279, Animation:View)
>> Graph
No.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
[PANEL 1, AT THE DDR MACHINE]

DEMON: Okay we gotta wait for these guys to get off the machine.

[PANEL 2, Pigliek and Bald from Location of Teh Funay Arcaeds are literally HOGGING (or even BALDING) up the machine.]

[PANEL 3, DEMON]

DEMON: Okay, any time now.

[PANEL 4, Pigliek and Bald are going fuckin insane on the machine arms and legs going all kaflooey.]

DEMON: COME ON HURRY THE FUCK UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP

Oekaki post(Time: 10 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> captain
no
>> captain !v/rTh0HxaQ
yes
>> Graph !e9CNOfXxA2
Yes.
>> Anonymous
>>174290
the "penis" kinda interrupts everything
>> Anonymous
I can't tell if this guy is a mediocre troll or a genuine-article retard.

I'm sincerely hoping it's the former.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>174311
>> graph, maybe captain
     File :-(, x)
>>174298
YOU ARE NOT OP
WHERE IS OP

Oekaki post(Time: 9 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
     File :-(, x)
I am a big fan of Troll Police.

Oekaki post(Time: 18 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
>>174314
No that was me, I wrote it here. http://www.caltrops.com/pointy.php?action=viewPost&pid=86303
>> Graph !e9CNOfXxA2
>>174296
>>174305

*sigh*
>> Anonymous
>>174315
This definitely looks better than mine.
>> Anonymous
>>174323
So is it yes or no?
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
>>174326
That is why you should give me the honor of being your artist!
>> Anonymous
>>174330
You can draw any of the shit I came up with if you want then.
>> Anonymous
PS: It would be ideal to leave space for the actual text.
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
Do I have to do it in oekaki? I work better in vectors.
>> Anonymous
>>174336
I guess that doesn't matter either if you prefer not doing it an oekaki, SHEEEEEEEIT
>> captain, maybe graph
WHAT, MY SHIT ISNT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
GO FUCK YOURSELF
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
>>174346
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE
>> Anonymous
>>174352
Maybe it's just because I wrote it, but this is so great.
>> Anonymous
>>174323
Okk's doing it! Quick Graph, now's your chance! Run! Flee! Be free!
>> Anonymous
Graph, you don't want to be a pussy do you? Don't listen to the dude up there.
>> Anonymous
Don't listen to this faggot Graph. He got what he wants, now you don't have to feel obligated to please anyone.
>> Anonymous
Is that all you really want in life Graph, to not feel obligated to please people?

I would direct this to Cappi-tan too but apparently he went to sleep.

You know what would be funny is if 34 showed up in this thread.
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
>>174354
In that case, I would like to know what you have in mind for the webcomic artist's appearance.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>174363
The in-comic version had green hair and the fedora (which was a reference to something awful goon faggots wearing fedoras and puffing fine hand carved oak pipes).

The only version of the "real life" artist was just generic floating head like this.
>> Graph !e9CNOfXxA2
>>174362
Ehhh...

I guess I'm waiting for an idea that I like.
>> Anonymous
>>174367
At this rate that might never happen.
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
     File :-(, x)
HOW'S THIS
>> Anonymous
>>174375
Fawkin saved. I'll probably post it along with the other drawing (whoever did that one), so for some reason I'll have two of each version.

I'm going to post the rest of the scripts here in a few minutes.
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
It was a bit rushed, and could use some touching up, actually, but I think I will start on the third one immediately.
If you like it, then perhaps we can work out some kind of long-term arrangement!
>> Anonymous
>>174380
I seriously wish I could draw like that, but I suck. Maybe with enough experience I could some day.

PS: Everyone I asked agreed that it's great.
>> skippy !3GqYIJ3Obs
     File :-(, x)
well this was...fun

Oekaki post(Time: 36 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> skippy !3GqYIJ3Obs
>>174382
also how do you use the text tool my handwriting sucks
>> 34
>>174362
oh hey
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Okay for the sake of full disclosure I'll just post the remaining Troll Police scripts here. PS I'm drunk as fuck right now.

-----------------

CARUSO: I'm sorry chief, I have to go back in, we know where the trolling is coming from!
CHIEF: You're off the case, I need your badge and wallet and your house keys but not your gun.
[INTERNAL TROLL AFFAIRS GUYS STANDING AROUND]
CARUSO: It's time to take the fight for real to trolls this time for real.
CHIEF: I know I just took away your gear, but I still believe in you. I will secretly help you get back into the internet to fight the trolls. It could cost me my job, but sometimes we just gotta do what's right.
CARUSO: SHIT JUST GOT REAL
===
CHIEF: Okay jump in, don't worry about me, I can take the heat, you just stop those trolls.
[CARUSO JUMPS INTO THE INTERNET]
[CHIEF SUDDENLY ENGULFED BY GIANT EXPLOSION FOR LIKE NO FUCKIN REASON]
CHIEF: HOLY
[TROLL POLICE BUILDING EXPLODES AND PEOPLE FLY OUT]
===
INTERNAL TROLL AFFAIRS DUDE: Those risk taking cops are taking all the risks and livin on the edge (like that Aerosmith song)!
POLICE CAPTAIN: Apparently the chief's ploy at secretly helping one of his officers back to the internet broke the rules so hard that they exploded, destroying most of the police force.
INTERNAL TROLL AFFAIRS DUDE: Well now it's all up to Caruso-chan.
POLICE CAPTAIN: God help him. He could be our last home. O_O
INTERNAL TROLL AFFAIRS DUDE: Hope.
POLICE CAPTAIN: LOOK GO TO HELL

Oekaki post(Time: 2 h 54 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
>>174367
Here Graph, crawl into my pocket and I'll transport you somewhere safe.
>> continued Anonymous
CARUSO: If we are going to stop this trollwave we have to go all out. I have a plan to frame these trolls for crimes they didn't commit.
MOOG: But that is wrong!
CARUSO: Sometimes you gotta take it to this level to bring the bad guys down. 8(
MOOG: We cannot allow you to do this!
LORGRAH: I'm sorry, but we are going to have to troll you!
CARUSO: Don't do it!!!!!!!!!!!!
MOOG AND LORGRAH: Raa!
[CARUSO BLOWS BOTH OF THEM AWAY WITH A FURSECUTION BEAM]
CARUSO: They will be missed... in hell. 8(
===
[DEMON AND FURFAGS WAITING FOR DDR MACHINE, CARUSO SHOWS UP]
CARUSO: Hey would you guys happen to know where the boss of webcomics trolling is?
CATBOI 1: We are trying to have adventures here!
[CARUSO BLOWS HIS HEAD OFF]
CARUSO [TO CORPSE]: You have 20 seconds to comply.
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
     File :-(, x)
SHIT SON YOU GOT TROLLED

That's what you get for saying my buddies Captain and Graph have fat heads!
>> Anonymous
>>174386
>2 h 54 min

... yeah.
>> Anonymous
>>174383
Hit the "color" button in shi-painter normal, if you hold it down you'll see "text" show up, select your font and font size then hit apply and click on the picture, a text field will show up for you to type or paste text into.
>> Anonymous
>>174389
OH SHIT

I CAN'T WATCH THIS

HEY EVERYBODY I CAN'T WATCH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> Anonymous
>>174389
But... Graph does have a fat head. He's a stick-figure.

Unless he decides to come up with a female persona like Cap-tan.
>> Anonymous
>>174394
If he does then she better have some fat fuckin tits.
>> Anonymous
>>174395
She already does. Don't you remember?
>> Anonymous
>>174396
I meant Graph-tan, not Cap-tan.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>174398
I know.
>> 34
>>174391
well after that i don't know what to do it just shows a...thing, one-line text box or whatever
>> Anonymous
>>174404
oh shit posted as 34
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

HEY

Oekaki post(Time: 4 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
>>174404
You have to put it in one line at a time. If it's too long I have to undo and then guess the amount of text I have to delete to make it fit properly, then try it again, and then again and again until I get it right.

It's nowhere near as easy as it is in Photoshop.
>> Anonymous
>>174402
That's Graph's Heavy-tan you moron.
>> Anonymous
a mildly amusing thread turned into a tripfaggotry shitfest... as usual.
>> Anonymous
>>174417
>a mildly amusing thread

I laugh at your taste in amusement.

"FURFAG 1: Boy it is hard being college roommate cats who are also ninjas!
FURFAG 2: Yes but we can relax by playing these fine video games. Hey check out the latest The Matrix game, starring characters from The Matrix!"

THAT'S QUALITY STUFF
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>174409
Here's Graph-tan. I think.

He drew her earlier back to start a boob thread, that's all I know.
>> Anonymous
>>174406
NOW YOU FUCKED UP
>> Anonymous
>>174420
I CAN'T SEE TOO WELL IS THAT ROGER EBERT?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
FINGER

Oekaki post(Time: 8 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
>>174423
Oh, I know who that is.

I suppose you could say she's sorta Graph-tan, in a way.
>> Graph !e9CNOfXxA2
>>174510
I uh... guess so? She's more of a separate character, at least the cow variant.
>> Anonymous
>>174536
SHE NEEDS TO BE MILKED
>> Anonymous
So does Graph have a big head then?
>> Graph !e9CNOfXxA2
>>174555
Really? I thought it'd be nice to let her keep it in instead.
>> Anonymous
>>174599
PUNCHING HER IN THE TITS
>> Anonymous
>>174600
Eh?
>> Anonymous
>>174607
So the milk will come out.
>> Anonymous
>>174608
Whatever you think works guy.
>> Anonymous
>>174615
It's been known to happen.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
i should just an hero

Oekaki post(Time: 10 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
>>174536
So who is this mysterious cowgirl?
>> Anonymous
>>174669
I THINK SHE LIKES IT
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
OP, I will level with you. Though I am hesitant to admit it on the board, I really like your writing, and I had a lot of fun drawing those first two comics.

But I think you owe Captain and Graph an apology for saying they had fat heads. Every year, hundreds of little fat-headed boys are driven to failed attempts at suicide by the harsh words of their peers. A careless insult can cause more emotional damage than you may realize.
>> Graph !e9CNOfXxA2
>>174717
I appreciate the concern, but I don't really mind. It's 4chan afterall: I never take anything here seriously.

Anyway OP, if you want something, try not to taunt the person into doing it for you. If something grabs my interest, I might try it out.
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
     File :-(, x)


Oekaki post(Time: 8 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
>>174730
Graph telling some guy to get off his high horse?

I don't get that impression.
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
     File :-(, x)
>>174738
I, sort of, I guess. I was actually trying to imply that I need to get off my high horse, and Graph is the one who has shown me the truth.
In any case, I AM SUDDENLY AND INEXPLICABLY FILLED WITH THE DEEPEST AND SINCEREST REGRET FOR THE ATROCITIES THAT I HAVE COMMITTED IN THIS THREAD (except for that Sure is door around here picture, that was rad.)
Dearest webcomic writer-kun, who has skillfully crafted the wit-filled dialogue of Troll Police! I hath trolled you under false pretenses. Please, forgive me, and give me another chance. Allow me to draw for thee!

Oekaki post(Time: 6 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Source:>>174315, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
>>174741
I think that IS Graph telling me to get off my high horse, otherwise why did you draw me with pajama pants that I always wear?

Anyway DUH yes I was joking, I wasn't expecting Graph or Captain to draw anything for me, and why should they give a shit what I say about them? They can draw. THEY CAN ACTUALLY DRAW. And to explain the joke (fully killing it) there is no reason why anyone would have an ego problem for rejecting my ideas, because almost everyone I've asked has had to turn them down for one reason or another. I think Captain and Graph are great, so I had absolutely no expectations for them to draw any of my ideas anyway.

As far as drawing comics goes really it doesn't matter to me, anyone here who wants to draw the shit I wrote can, and I'll probably post it whenever I finally get the new webspace for Troll Police (I'm still waiting on the guy).

PS: Okk I think your drawings are great.
>> Anonymous
>>174717
>>174730
>>174741
What the hell are you rambling on about?
>> Anonymous
>>174741
Don't be such an eager dick-sucker.
>> Anonymous
WHAT IN GOD'S HOLY NAME ARE YOU BLATHERING ABOUT?
>> Anonymous
>>174799
Look Graph, this is what would happen to you if you drew any of these things.

YOUR CRED
>> Anonymous
Sure is Odd thread in here!
But seriously its kind of now disenfranchised me. And I'd done an entire script rewrite of Troll Police Meta Comic #2 into a functional 4koma too. Now I just don't feel that much like drawing.

You can have to super descriptive script though.

Panel 1: (Scene; Nekomimi is at bar, you see her tit through her shirt. She is leaning on her left arm, holding a beer glass in her right one, and a bit of her butt is showing from behind the bar from where she is sitting. She is clearly drunk as evident by drunken look on her face. Random Webcomic Guy is in the back turned away from us. He is having a nose bleed from overhearing of the conversation with herself. A surprise "Half bubble pop" effect over his head.)
Nekomimi: Oh! man am I evva drunk. Yous guys shouldn shtare at me right now I think you can she my tits through my shirt.

Panel 2: (Scene; Nekomimi is standing up flashing her tits at our now turned around Random Webcomic Guy, who is in the foreground, right side. We can now kind of see she is fat and not just big breasted. Her shirt is pulled up exposing her breast and stomach, and we can see her huge hips.)
Nekomimi: Hey Guysh! I'm so horny right nyao.
Random Webcomic Guy: Eyah(Shock sound effect)

Panel 3: (Scene; Nekomimi can be seen with her breasts around Random Webcomic Guy's neck and is trying to molest him. You can see both of their full bodies, with him on right and her extending to the left. Her right line is making a bee line down his pants. He is pale and desperately trying to fend her off.)
Nekomimi: Come on Baby don't you want shome?

Panel 4: (Scene; The panel is spliced into by a door, presumably the bathroom one. Nekomimi can be seen on the left all tied up and gagged, Random Webcomic Guy is on right leaning on door nodding to self)
Random Webcomic Guy: No, I respect you to much as a women to take advantage of you in you current state.
Nekomimi: Meefmuff uh(Gagged sound effect at bottom of panel)
>> Anonymous
>>174804
I like it. If I could draw I would do it.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
IT'S MY FUCKING CURSE (I WANT TO TAKE THE EARS OFF BUT I CAN'T)

Oh shit I forgot to draw the cat ears on her. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Oekaki post(Time: 7 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
>>174801
What cred? I was under the impression that Graph and Captain drew things for fun, not glory. At least I hope that's the case.
>> Anonymous
>>174683
Cow variant of Graph's female persona.
>> Anonymous
>>174831
Well apparently they have a lot of "respect" to lose in certain cases. Can you imagine?
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
oh wow you wear pajama pants too?
I have no idea what I am doing or what's going on anymore, but I love to draw, so tell me, OP-kun, what do Pigliek and Bald look like?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>174845
They're the penny arcade guys, so bald needs a big shiny head. Pigliek you can just draw as a big fat pig.

On an unrelated note, bald has a fucking LITTLE MERMAID POSTER in his gaming room. Every time I think they might not be faggots I just remember LITTLE MERMAID POSTER.
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
     File :-(, x)
Haw haw
>> Okk !G7.5cn6aGM
     File :-(, x)
JUST KIDDING IT WAS A JOKE

I am getting tired of doing this in /i/ though. Could you come find me on rizon irc instead?
>> Anonymous
>>174869
How do I do that?

I have MIRC but what server what channel?
>> Anonymous
>>174878
Just to followup, never mind this question because I found it and etc.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I forgot the other side of his sunglasses. LET'S JUST SAY THIS IS A SAFETY SAVE.

Oekaki post(Time: 41 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
There. NOW IT IS WELL DRAWN.

Oekaki post(Time: 42 s, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Source:>>174920, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
He broke the rules so hard it blew up the whole place.

Oekaki post(Time: 28 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Might as well put this one up (EVERYONE GETS A CHANCE AT FAME).

Oekaki post(Time: 5 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Source:>>174314, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
>>174741
you are getting seriously fucking annoying man, stop while your ahead
>> Anonymous
>>174989
I have bad news about your AIDS, apparently it's reached your brain.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
PROJECTED.

There now I can say I drew something for today.

Oekaki post(Time: 9 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I was sort of getting the arms and torso right, for a second here.

Oekaki post(Time: 11 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Supposed to be the chief. :(

Oekaki post(Time: 15 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I drew it there am I happy?

No, I'm not. At least I got the giant forehead right.

Oekaki post(Time: 17 min, Painter: Shi-Painter Normal, Animation:View)