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Bat Guano
File :-(, x)
I had a pet hamster who died. I discovered this and then went to my job to pick up my paycheck (I worked graveyard shifts there). My vile swine boss was also there with a nasty look on her face. She growled, "I've been calling your house all morning. Where have you been?" "I been at the Thorazine clinic. Why?" She said, What would you say if I told you I need you to work Saturday and Sunday?" "I would say 'no' and 'no.'" She replied, "You have to give me a reason WHY you can't work the weekend." I immediately said, "I have to give my dead hamster a Viking funeral." She let me go. I then considered this. Sure! Let's give the little guy a Viking funeral! I went to a war surplus store and bought a little Norwegian flag and I took the hamster to the beach in Santa Cruz, California with my friends. We wrapped the hamster in the flag, placed him in a boat made from newspaper, soaked him in charcoal lighter fluid, played Wagner's Gotterdammerung: Siegfried's Death and Funeral March from a "Magic Fire Music" cassette, set the boat on fire and let it drift out to sea. Luckily, the tide was rolling out at the time. Those people on the beach were certainly giving us peculiar looks. Music at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E23DFKIL65I
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