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Spyffe
File :-(, x)
>>105481 I think you have the shapes that you want to draw down. Also, you have the ability to produce very fine, complex shapes -- the background is testimony to this.
The main weakness in this image is, IMO, overuse of a soft brush or spray can in Photoshop. It makes the girls' skin and hair both look like they are made from the same material - dyed rubber.
I have uploaded an Urushihara Satoshi picture - he creates a much more precise, high-contrast look that also allows him to create the feel of materials. The girl's hair has small specular highlights that show its shininess, whereas the shading on her skin is much more broad.
If you're attached to it, your soft look may be salvageable; for the skin it's not so bad. But it's entirely unsuited for hair. (Also, the broad crescent-shaped specular highlights on the left of both girls' hair iare very odd). I would look at the source material - real hair - to see how it reflects light, and try to work that into your drawings. On the other hand, if you want to render anime hair, then look at how that is shaded.
As for the $30 price, I would do a lot more freebies to get practice and feedback if I were you before charging money.
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