File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Anyone tried a Fleshlight? I've been thinking about getting one for better fapping, but $60 seems pretty expensive.

Or, any cheaper alternatives?
>> Anonymous
girlfriend
>> Anonymous
inb4 cantaloupe
>> Anonymous
I bought one a while back, but I hardly ever use it (like, once a month). Feels great, but you have to thoroughly wash the thing after every use or bacteria builds up and it starts to smell like shit. Not really worth it, in my opinion.
>> Anonymous
I found a girlfriend a while back, but I hardly ever use her (like, once a month). Feels great, but she has to thoroughly wash herself after every use or bacteria builds up and she starts to smell like shit. Not really worth it, in my opinion.
>> Der Belgier
a girlfriend is much more expensive than 60$ ;)
>> Anonymous
It was fun, but it's too much of a hassle to warm it up each time you wanna jack off. Lube and hand is more convenient. But yeah, got a gf now and it's way better than fleshlight.
>> Anonymous
>>124900
>cheaper alternative
>> Anonymous
I bought a Goat a while back, but I hardly ever use it (like, once a month). Feels great, but you have to thoroughly wash the thing after every use or bacteria builds up and it starts to smell like shit. Not really worth it, in my opinion.
>> Anonymous
>>124918
not in thailand
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
cheaper
>> Anonymous
>>124899
Actually looks rather delicious by that pic.
>> Anonymous
I've been using them for years (since 04). I have a steady GF also. It's not a substitute for the 'gine- but it's got it's own appeal. $60 is kinda pricey- but definetely worth it. It's fun- and warmed up a little feels fucking AWESOME.
>> Anonymous
I have a fleshlight STU, you can get them on sale sometimes, mine came out to $50 shipped. Worth every penny.

Worth it if for no other reason than it won't walk out on you if you call it a whore.
>> Anonymous
>>125003
I'd love to see a dildo attachement that you could stick on the non-fuckhole end of the fleshlight, so you could stick that up your girlfriend and then stick your dong up the fleshlight.
>> Anonymous
I have one. Using it right now.
I'd recommend it.
>> Anonymous
>>124916
Girlfriends clean themselves, in ideal situations. And even if you do have to bathe them yourself, doing so is much more fun than cleaning a fleshlight.
>> Anonymous
>>125025

Or, you know, stick your penis in your girlfriend.
>> Anonymous
I bought an uncircumcised penis a while back, but I hardly ever use it (like, once a month). Feels great, but you have to thoroughly wash the thing after every use or bacteria builds up and it starts to smell like shit. Not really worth it, in my opinion.
>>  
yeah they're a bit pricey, but it'll be the last toy you buy cause they're fucking great. get the other inserts too
>> Anonymous
if you use it right (put it in a shoe and fuck it like you would a girl) it's briliant, well worth buying, Heat it up in hot water for 20 minutes first and use plenty of lube.
>> Anonymous
A few years agothe fleshlight was sold for $30. Back then I thought that was pricey but I should have gotten one or five.
>> Anonymous
I'm might get one - I've got a girlfriend, and we manage sex usually 7-8 times a week, but I also masturbate at least that often. If she gets vibrators and all sorts of toys to use during sex and when she masturbates, why shouldn't I?
>> Anonymous
i got one a while ago its seen some use but it really dont compare to my girlfriend i dont have to lube her i dont have to clean her out after she has more holes AND SHE CAN COOK
>> Anonymous
I can either pay $60 for this thing, or $0 for my hand.

Gee, I wonder..
>> Anonymous
use your hand.
>> Anonymous
>>125169
does your hand feel like a pussy? no i didn't think so.
>> Anonymous
I got one, then they had a buy 3 inserts get one free deal, so I had 5, but my dog chewed the first one.Can't say if they're as good as sex, but they are amazing compared to a hand. It was definately worth the money IMO.
>> Anonymous
I too have a girlfriend.
>> Anonymous
I found a moot a while back, but I hardly ever use him (like, once a month). Feels great, but he has to thoroughly wash himself after every use or bacteria builds up and he starts to smell like shit. Not really worth it, in my opinion.
>> Anonymous
>>125234

The fuck? You bought a fleshlight but expected not to wash it everytime? Not sure if that's more disturbing, or if it's the fact that you refer to it in the masculine...
>> Anonymous
>>125265
over your head dot jpeg
>> Anonymous
>>125265

fail?
>> Anonymous
>>125162

i agree with you.
>> Anonymous
>>125278

indeed sir.
>> Anonymous
>>125226
Sadly, yes. I have the rare medical condition called "Manos Pussyitus".
>> Anonymous
I bought a foetus a while back, but I hardly ever use it (like, once a month). Feels great, but you have to thoroughly wash the thing after every use or bacteria builds up and it starts to smell like shit. Not really worth it, in my opinion.
>> moss
     File :-(, x)
>>124902
......cantaloupe!
>> Anonymous
$60.00 and $0.00 are pretty much the same amounts of money.

10 seconds of hand cleaning vs. 2 minutes of object cleaning is MAXIMUM FAIL.
>> Anonymous
>>124904
>>124916
>>124947
>>125146
>>125234
>>125316

Someone's really enjoying this joke
>> Tit Kneader (´???)?(?(? !!aV5V+eFqILU
>>had 5, but my dog chewed the first one.

I don't know why, but I LOLed
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I bought a shark a while back, but I hardly ever use it (like, once a month). Feels great, but you have to thoroughly wash the thing after every use or bacteria builds up and it starts to smell like shit. Not really worth it, in my opinion.
>> Anonymous
poormans fleshlight:
get vinyl gloves from hardware store.
take a glove and turn it inside out (putting the powder on the outside of the glove so it doesnt ruin your lube).
get a small towel and lay the glove with about 1-2 inches of the wrist hanging off the side of the towel.
roll up the towel lightly with the glove inside.
wrap the loose wrist of the glove around the outside of the rolled towel.
lube (plain old hair conditioner works great) and have fun.
>> Anonymous
>>125343

That is surprisingly effective.
>> Anonymous
Dude, a fleshlight is worth the money. Keeps your dick sensitive, stay away from tha death grip yo
>> Anonymous
>>125343
Embarrassing, but I've tried this one too...works quite well especially if you put the thing between your bed frame and your mattress.
>> Anonymous
I got one, I rarely use it since its a pain in the ass.... Its hard to compare to the real thing though since it's been about 2 years since the last time I got laid, BUT.... it feels GREAT. I got the stamina training one. you need to remember to do the following if you get one though. it only feels good if you heat it up first to body temp, and you MUST clean it after each use. ONLY clean it with hot water and rubbing alcohol. oh, and only use water based lube. NEVER use soap of any kind.
>> Anonymous
I got the original lady and free lube deal last summer before college. I painstakingly had my step mom let me use her credit card for something I told her I couldn't tell her, since I felt she'd be the most trustworthy (I had no credit card then). I liked it but wanted something more. It was smooth, I wanted texture. Then I discovered a miraculous thing: Credit Card Gift Cards. I bought a $100 American Express Gift Card and ordered myself a Fleshlight STU and a 10oz bottle of lube. It turned out ok, but the lube I bought was too light, too watery, and it made the STU's bumps cling too much and it wasn't smooth. Also it seems my STU had a slight defect, a slight lack of pigment. It was pink, but not as solid pink as my lady. As a result it was much stickier and not as pleasant to deal with (as I've heard the clear ice fleshlights are). Moar to come in next post...
>> Anonymous
I got one, not only does it feel awesome but it also resensitized my dick somewhat after years of death grip syndrome, even when im faps feel alot better now.
>> Anonymous
>>125584
...So college came and with two roommates I found it near impossible to find time to use them. I had them in a locked box so they were safe, but even with our own private sink and shower it was still too difficult to use it safely, due to cleanup and time consumption, so they didn't see much use.

...Still, I wanted something better. The lady was nice but not tight enough I felt, and the STU was a pain due to the defect. Also both had the vagoo orifice which was ok, but it wasn't too tight and left a good inch or so of space between entry and texture, leaving the base of my annoyed.

...So this summer approached and I did it again. I bought a $100 mastercard gift card at a grocery store (since my mother pays my credit card bill and would ask questions) and ordered an ultratight pink butt fleshlight sleeve (since I have 2 cases already) and a 10oz bottle of the good lube that came with the lady. It arrived about 2 weeks ago and I used it once but noticed something weird about 2 inches in. There was a tear on the inside, between the thick layers of the material. This irritated my cock and worse, since my head would always take the path of least resistance when forcing itself through such a tight canal, would trap both my cum and the water I used to clean it inside, causing problems. I used it about twice, depressed, and in my feeble attempts to "fix" it I screwed it up more, finally deciding it was a lost cause. The new orifice was nice, and the tightness was decent, but it was a failure. Continued next post...
>> Anonymous
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2611875

home made fleshlight out of a pringles can.
>> Anonymous
>>125595

...
So I bought a third fleshlight. This time the ebony mouth model. but when I went to check out, I found that my card was a couple bucks short. (It was the same one I'd bought the torn insert with). It was stupid, but I figured mom wouldn't notice a couple bucks on her card so I borrowed it and I split the charge between the two cards. Well I get the new insert about a week later and I am getting ready to try it out (I'm home from school at this point), and I hear a knock on my door. It turns out my mother HAD noticed the charge from "Interactive Life Forms" and had googled it and found out what I'd been buying. I tried to tell her it was for a friend but we got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said "You're moving in with your auntie and uncle in bel air."
>> Anonymous
>>125610

I gotta admit it... I lol'd...
>> Anonymous
>>125595
And so about a week or two ago I again bought yet another $100 mastercard gift card (I had about $1400 saved from the previous summer working) and this time I ordered a wonderwave pink butt (the wonderwave due to everyone always raving about it) and something new... An Aneros prostate massager. I figured what the hell, I've experimented with anal things before, why not try something that everyone claims is perfectly made to give you multiple incredible, mindblowing, full-body orgasms in one sitting. So after placing my order I sat down with my failed supertight butt and began a dissection with a scissor and exacto blade, cutting out the defective part and keeping only the orifice opening and the end section of the tube (about the length of my hand, perfect for a simple, easy-to-clean cross between hand fapping and fleshlight use which has been pretty nice so far). I threw out the rest, save a few extra chunks of the material in case I think of anything fun to do with it. One or two more posts ready to go...
>> Anonymous
>>125610

im glad this was a bel-air because it was WAY too sad and pathetic.
>> Anonymous
>>125614
So the following week my toys arrive. I use the wonderwave and for the most part it's the best so far. The ribs provide nice feeling without being too overwhelming. Later I open the Aneros, simultaneously marveling at both the ingenious shape and how much the company must be raking in selling small hunks of specially shaped plastic for about $50 a piece. It's been a while since I've done anything anal so it feels a bit strange, almost uncomfortable, going in (a word for the wise: don't put it in cold; run it under hot water first). I lay on my side and try to relax as it's quickly sucked into place, then I begin tightening and releasing my ass muscles as you're supposed to and it begins to move a bit aaaand... Nothing. I've tried again and again, but each time I just end up worrying about the lube going everywhere as I feel no different than if I had a shit up their waiting (save the thin piece coming out holding it slightly open and the tab that's supposed to apply pressure in front, which just kinda hurts. After countless attempts I feel like there COULD be incredible pleasure, but quicker movement would be required. I just bought ANOTHER gift card and am about to purchase one of the vibrating nexus prostate massagers instead, as I think the vibrations could really change things.

...So there you have it. I'm wasting tons of money on these toys, about to make my FIFTH fleshlight purchase, and while some has brought me pleasure, others have been nothing but a waste of my lock-box space. My reccomendation? Buy a fleshlight with a texture, along with ID Glide lube (I have the red pleasure type and it works well), and if you want to be risky, maybe try a vibrating prostate massager. Just if you don't intend to buy much, make your choices wisely, my friend.
>> Anonymous
>>125025

or you could just fuck your girlfriend, dipshit
>> Anonymous
>>125620

What are you, gay?
>> Anonymous
It wasn't a bel air. Anon is just made of win and turned it into one because OP failed hard.
>> Anonymous
>>125610
Haha, oh wow. Well this is actually exactly what I expected to happen, which is why I bought all the cards. Well played, I haven't seen a good bel air in a long time, and never has anyone bel air'd anything of mine. I'm usually the one to do that...
>> Anonymous
Dude.. Just stick a Gillette Fusion Power in your ass, and press it against your prostate while fapping in the shower. ..Absolutally fucking amazing..
>> Anonymous
>>125632

if you happen to be gay.
>> Anonymous
>>125632
...Seriously? I actually thought about that, since the end is rounded and kinda big, but i figured it would fuck it up, or that the vibrations would be more in the razer blades or something. Hell if that works that would be soooo much easier...
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
try an onacup supah kawaii ^_^;;
>> stroker
i have one of these things. and it feels a hell of a lot better than your hand. especially if you have rough man hands.
>> Anonymous
>>125637

yah dude, you can either stick it in handle side, or take the blade off (of course) and put it in the other way. You get more vibrations if you stick the blade side in since that's naturally where the vibrations were meant to be.

I haven't had any trouble with mine, just be sure you clean it lol.

and no, I'm not gay.
>> Anonymous
I think we should genetically engineer long, sluglike creatures that require nothing but water and semen for nutrients. We could give them the baby-like instinct to suck when something's put in their mouths, and they'd suck your cocks until you feed them (with your cum). No teeth (unless you're kinky like that), and they'd be long and tight and self-lubricating. The perfect pet!

...I dunno why, I was thinking about this earlier today. Had myself a few lols picturing one, but became sad when I remembered how impossibly hard this would be...
>> Anonymous
>>125648
Well shit, I'm trying that as soon as I take my next shower. Thank you for the tip, anon!

...And if something goes wrong and I get shocked on the inside, my innards become cut up and/or I have to goto the ER for any reason, I commend you for your lolful attempt to exploit my stupidity and horniness.
>> Anonymous
>>125654

hahahahaha naw dude, I assure you, my advice comes with experience.
>> Anonymous
girl > fleshlight > hand

i just hate having to keep it clean. the damn thing is impossible to completely dry, and if you dont dry it... well you can imagine.
>> Anonymous
>>125656
Well then thank you again in advance. :D
>>125658
Tis true... Well I usually use it in the shower or take it into the bathroom after use. The 3 pieces of the casing can be towel dried, but the sleeve would get all hairy and shit if you use normal towels, or covered in specs of fluff if you use tissue/toilet paper so I usually pat dry the outside with paper towels and then either shake the hell out of it and/or turn it partially inside-out to pat dry the insides. So long as there aren't any tears I've found that they can be safely turned inside out without any danger; none have ripped on me from this yet. Then just store it in the case with the end cap slightly open for it to vent and it should be fine.
>> ­
>>125658completely dry

Hmm... I wonder if you put it on a really gentle setting if a clothes dryer would beat it up too much.
>> Anonymous
>>125609
no way am i paying $20 for these shitty forums
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Greetings Faggots.

Those UNCUT gentlemen (in MINT original factory condition) don't need a Fleshlight. Those of you using a Fleshlight now know what it's like for us uncut chaps to fap.

So... when your dick is stripped of it's foreskin, your dry, scaly, knob is bereft of genuine fapping pleasure.

Suffer, Cut Faggots!!

HA! HA! HA!
>> Anonymous
>>125674
...Well then it would get covered in hair, might as well just use a towel if you don't care much. Might stick to the side of the dryer too, depending on how sticky yours is. Maybe if you stuck it in a plastic bag first, but then the water couldn't escape well. I actually took a piece of the leftover material of my broken one and tried microwaving it for a minute and a half to see if anything interesting would happen and it barely got warm. They're meant to absorb heat, so it could be safe, but I think a hair dryer or fan would work better and more safely.
>> Anonymous
>>125648

I've done this too, with the razor...I'm straight, would never do anything with a guy, but its an amazing feeling.
>> virgins anon
all of you flesh light faggots are virgins. That or gay!
>> Anonymous
A Fleshlight is more akin to an Asshole than a vagina.

But they manufacture it to look like a pussy because as an asshole, it would make their main demographic of customer realize that they ARE FUCKING GAY.

Faggots!
>> Anonymous
>>124916
>>124916
>>124916

its meme now
>> Anonymous
Oh shi-

I just got out my fusion power and considered trying it, but was afraid of all the nastiness messing up the razor, but then it hit me... Duh, over it in something!

So I wrapped it in saran wrap (Glad Press n' Seal, actually; holds tight), put some lube on it and tried it out. Now considering I've done very little anal stuff in a while, I wasn't really relaxed, I didn't use much lube and I haven't gone number 2 in a while, it wasn't exactly the most pleasant thing going in, especially with the wide, flat shape, but I'm sure if I took some time to do it properly it would work fine. Also the little nub that sticks out and is on a spring kinda hurt, so taping it down should be a priority to give you a flatter surface to work with. It felt good (after I fumbled around and finally found the on button) but I feel like I'll need to set things up properly to really get it to work well. Thanks again for the tip anon! :D
>> Anonymous
Just man up and buy a vibrator. No one is going to judge you. Get on your knees with a few pillows under your ass and grind into it while you masturbate. It's amazing.

In before gay.
>> Anonymous
They fucking rock. The whole "between the matress and frame" thing is dead on. Also, it's great for morning fapping in the shower. Fucking awesome.
>> Anonymous
>>125751The whole "between the matress and frame" thing is dead on
...That's entirely height dependent, both of you and your bedframe. I tried this and I think my bed frame was too high up; my cock didn't align well. Also it may not always hold the FL well, since the case is so thick.
>> Anonymous
you're all girlfriendless fags
>> Anonymous
Welcome to 4chan.
>> Anonymous
>>125790

This thread sums up 4chan...

Epic thread imo, just had tons of lols reading it! Thank you anon.