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Anonymous
Classic porn is shit because half the actors were unattractive, nobody shaved, they blared cheesy music over everything, and the sex scenes were all banal and like five minutes long.
But new porn is shit because it all seems the same. Watch "the Opening of Misty Beethoven." It's a hilarious movie, surprisingly funny and well-written, and truly kinky for such early porn (in a threesome towards the end, she pegs a guy). Remake that with the same budget, writing, and add in some modern hot sex scenes, it'd be the best porn ever made. Modern equivalent is probably Pirates, and look how successful that was.
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