File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Dear Adult Store Shoppers,

Maybe you want to buy some pornography or maybe you'd like to purchase some condoms, lube, lingerie, toys, games or whatever other merchandise we carry. That's great, and I hope you find what you want in the store, but please, avoid these pitfalls and be a good customer.

1. If you are a needy as hell customer who asks me to check movies before you rent or buy them to make sure you will like them, I will secretly hate you. All of our movies have people fucking in them. Usually 2 or more people! This much you should know. Now do the following: Look at the box cover. Is it appealing to you? No? Stop, put the movie away and pick up another and try again. Yes? Good! Now, turn over the box. Do you see those other pictures? If none of those appeal to you, don't rent the movie. If they appeal to you, rent it, take it home, wank to it, be happy. If it's not to your liking, shut the fuck up and rent another movie. I really don't care if it wasn't appropriate wanking material up to your fine and high pornography standards. This isn't a restaurant where you can send something back if you don't like it – it's a porn store.

2. If you return movies that you rented with unidentified substances on them, you are a nasty motherfucker who should get hit by a bus. I get paid $9.00/hour, which is not enough to clean up your spunk. Wash your hands before you take the DVD out of the player, you nasty ass son of a bitch. After you return that nasty jizz covered movie, I will curse you loudly, put on 2 pairs of latex gloves, use copious amounts of cleaning supplies and then put a nasty note in your account about how you are a nasty asshole who can't return a movie the way we gave it to you - clean and DNA free. Then, everyone who works in the store knows what a nasty person you are. So for the love of Christ, wash your nasty hands and have some respect for the people who work here.
>> Anonymous
3. If you and your partner come into my store and you want to buy some lingerie, that is great. It's even nice if your husband/boyfriend/John/whatever wants to help you into the lingerie as some of the stuff we sell is hard to get on by yourself. But seriously, don't fuck in my dressing room. That is nasty and gross. Take your lingerie, try it on, buy it if you like it, take it home and fuck there. I wouldn't come into your place of work and fuck on your desk, so don't have sex here in my store. Don't try to be sneaky about it either. If I notice you've been in the dressing room for more than a few minutes, I'm going to come by and knock on the door to see if everything is okay. And if I hear moaning and grunting, I'm going to call the police.

4. Please treat our merchandise with some respect. In any other store would you open up boxes, rip off labels, or throw things around? I doubt it. Also, my store is not a club or a party. I know we are open late, so maybe you really do think this is a club, but I swear it's not. It's a store. We're here to sell things and make money. The things we sell are fun and great, sure, but this is not a place for you and all of your friends to come in and laugh and scream and point (and destroy merchandise, as mentioned above) for 2 hours and then leave without purchasing anything.

5. Don't hit on me or any of my coworkers. That is desperate and gross. Also, you're standing at my counter with 2 tranny movies, some desensitizing spray and a pair of panties. Do you really think this situation lends itself to me agreeing to go out with you? Nope, didn't think so. Also, don't stare at me or my coworkers like we're pieces of meat. Don't ask us inappropriate questions either. No, I won't demonstrate how the toys are used. I also won't tell you what it is I like in bed. And seriously, if you ask me to model lingerie one more time, I'm going to kick you out.
>> Anonymous
6. Additionally, just because I work at an adult store does not make me uneducated, a freak, a stripper, a prostitute or desperate. I am college educated (and currently in graduate school), well read and a pretty normal person with friends, family, a dog, hobbies, etc. I took this job for a variety of reasons, none of which I have to explain to you.

7. If I ask for your ID, don't give me grief. Take it as a compliment – I'm saying that you look youthful and fresh. I can get in trouble and lose my job for letting someone under 18 into the store. Don't bitch about how you don't have your ID (I have to ask you to leave, sorry) or how you have to go out to your car and walk the terrible 30 feet to get it or ask me how old I think you are. You look like you could be under 18. Show me your ID and I'll leave you alone. If all of your friends show me their ID but you “don't have yours,” I'm going to have to ask you to go outside. Just because all of your friends are 18+ does not mean you are. I know it's a bummer, but it's the rule.

8. And finally, if you are someone who brings your child into the store, you fail at parenting and at life.

Thanks, and have a great day.

Your Friendly Adult Store Clerk
>> Anonymous
this shoud be archived.
>> Anonymous
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGARRBBLLLLLL
>> Anonymous
>>Don't ask us inappropriate questions either. No, I won't demonstrate how the toys are used. I also won't tell you what it is I like in bed.

You work in an Adult Store, you retard, do you not expect weird questions? Blockbuster employees have to deal with "what movie should i rent? What do you like?", Video game employees have to deal with "What game should I buy my son? what game do you like?".

TL:DR; You work in the service industry, buck up, faggot.
>> Anonymous
Awesome and intense thread! Congratulations
>> Anonymous
this is some old copy pasta
>> Anonymous
>>299850
I don't believe this has ever been posted on this board. Die, faggot.
Secondly, it's very informative. I congrat the OP on posting it.
>> Anonymous
i think this is from that porn blog that discusses porn drift.

http://www.improvresourcecenter.com/mb/tpcs2.php
>> Anonymous
>>299858
>> Anonymous
>>299858
just cause you haven't seen it doesn't mean it's not copy pasta newfag
>> Anonymous
>>299858
I remember this being posted when /hc/ first opened or whatever. The original OP was actually informative and answered questions like, "Which toys are purchased most often", "Do more males or females come into the store?"

The thread became a fleshlight discussion towards the end.
>> Anonymous
Copy pasta bullshit
>> Anonymous
Lrn2internet, fags.

www.babeland.com
www.goodvibes.com
www.smittenkittenonline.com
>> Anonymous
I buy condoms from a vending machine and download my pornography from the internet. You won't get any trouble from me, my good sir. I feel very sorry that you have to go through this shit, and it must be a bunch of fat sweaty guys who are the culprits.
>> Anonymous
you work in that pit, you are a failure yourself, don't kid yourself. to be honest you are uneducated, a freak, a stripper, a prostitute and pretty desperate... lets be honest. look at your co-workers. and look at your histories and your futures...
>> Anonymous
Thread sucks, bro.
>> Anonymous
OP is a whiny little bitch. The store pictured is Seduction just north of Wellesly on Yonge Street. Over this past summer I worked at Discount Adult Video, which is just south of Wellesly on yonge. Let's compare the two.

Open the doors and enter the well ventilated and air conditioned Seduction, and you will observe happy experimental couples and perhaps the odd suburban pervert cheerfully perusing the latest adult merchandise of the highest quality. They close at nine. Their staff is cheerful, perky and attractive young 20-somethings who, once they sense that you are a somewhat normal person, will jump at the opportunity to bitch and whine about having to answer QUESTIONS people who are sometimes OLD have about SEX. TALKING ABOUT SEX. IN PUBLIC. MY LORD. They also refuse to hire me for my lack of retail experience, and are therefore nazi pigs.
>> Anonymous
Enter the foul-aired, sticky-floored Discount Adult Video and you will observe our highly esteemed regulars consisting of dealers, crackheads, male prostitutes and homeless people. The dealers use the jerk-off booths to deal to the crackheads, who get high and then buy more time to jerk off while high. The male prostitutes pick up said suburban perverts as they leave Seduction and take them to the booths to be brutally sodomized before leaving the used condom on the floor. The homeless people, one bearded, handicapped regular we called Crutchy in particular, will buy out the booths just for a warm place to sleep for a few hours because it's much cheaper than a hotel. The downside is that the cheerful if somewhat dim Crutchy is too much of a lazy shit to drag his ass down the stairs to get the bathroom key and so will just as soon shit himself, or in one memorable occasion, on the booth floor. Did I mention that I had to clean the booths every hour on the hour? Well I did. Did I mention that sometimes when a good wave of meth came by, and I could always tell because keeping track of the regulars (RE: scum of the earth) became like running a daycare except with scabby blank-eyed DVD-stealing violent drooling freaks instead of drooling children, many customers took pleasure in buying condoms from me, going up into the booths, putting the condoms on and then pissing until they exploded. Sometimes six or seven times in one go.
>> Anonymous
Over the course of this job, as I worked the overnight shift just after OP had swept her already-pristine store and gone grumbling home to her nice Church street townhouse, I had my life threatened directly twice, indirectly once, my general wellbeing threatened innumerable times, I dealt with a lost schitzophrenic, came to be on first name basis and good terms with a crack dealer, although I would never call him a friend, got hobo piss on my arm, stepped in more semen than you can imagine, saw my first OD, decided that the possum that lived somewhere in the building was to be our new mascot, became an accessory to the theft of a pimp's samurai sword, stared down a crack dealer, stared down a drunken scotsman who threatened to bring 20 angry drunken scots raiding the place liek the end of fucking Breaveheart, lied to the police on more than one occasion, hid homosexuals from beatings regularly and risked my wellbeing doing so, and generally witnessed more insanity, filth and evil than any healthy human mind should be able to fathom.

In summary: fuck you, OP. FUCK YOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!
>> Anonymous
OP here, lol you guys are funny. I found this on craigslist and decided to post it. Glad you all had fun raging~
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>299991
>>299995
>>299996
>> Anonymous
Ah, Yonge Street.
>> Anonymous
>>299821
Dear OP, I intend to start giving my friends chocolate penis moulds for their birthdays and promise to take all your notes into consideration when purchasing them, and if I decide to get anything for the girl.
>> Anonymous
brass rail
or
zanzabars?
>> Anonymous
Boo fuckin' hoo, go cry me a river. Just like someone working at a garbage dump and then complaining about getting dirty.

Go to school, get a degree, then you won't have to work shit wages to do shit work.
>> Anonymous
Stolen right off of best of craigslist
>> Anonymous
someone plz archive this!