File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Does anything in porn drive you crazy (in the bad way)?

For me:

-Men that talk too much/make too much noise. Most of the people watching porn would rather forget that there is a man there.

-Incompetent cameramen. Fucking hell, when does it seem like a good idea to take the camera off the chick's ass, pussy, dick-sucking face, etc. and put it on the guy's face? I also hate it when camera men have the fucking thing aimed at the dude's ass for a full five minutes.

-Women who aren't into it at all. Go get an office job or something. Srsly. I want to see interesting and fun sex, not just you sitting there with a bored look on your face. Fuck back, for crying out loud!

-Women who change their porn name several times. Just fucking stop it. You're making it harder to search for more porn with you in it.
>> Anonymous
>>40213

I should also add to the pornstar name thing: STOP USING COMMON NAMES. IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, USE TWO NAMES, BOTH AS UNIQUE AS POSSIBLE.
>> Anonymous
-Bad boob jobs. Nipples that are 90% scar tissue are not sexy. I'd rather a smaller or even flat chest, than ginormous obviously fake tits.

-Bad dye jobs. Blonds don't have more fun.

-Raccoon eye mascara. Seriously, it makes most women look like drug addicts. I don't want to fuck Tammy Faye Baker.

Don't try to be a big titted blond if you are not a big titted blond. Seriously.

-Certain types of cum shots. I don't want to see you fart cum on a glass table, and if he cums in your mouth, I don't want to see you spit it out and suck it back in for five minutes. That's not hot, that's fucking disgusting. Facials are fine if you must, sure, whatever, but please don't make me sick.

-Women who make no noise. I don't care if it's the guy or the girl that's the problem, but I want to hear some fucking screaming.

-If you buy porn, any video that implies a theme or something and can't deliver on it pisses me off.
>> Anonymous
similar to that last one ^^

but content not matching the cover and bait-and-switch compilation discs annoy me
>> Anonymous
Minutes and minutes of thrusting. And anything anal. Yuck. Plus these millions and millions of bisexual women... What is the deal with lesbian sex? Yes, it's probably great if you're a lesbian. I am not however.

And sperm all over the face? Why?

I prefer that they keep their clothes on for a while, and arouse me properly. I usually fast forward the thrusting, and enjoy the seduction part instead.
Plus, the few pornos they cuddle afterwards are sweet. I love those.
>> Anonymous
>>40256

I like anal and bisexuality, but the endless, endless thrusting does make my eyes glaze over after a while.
>> Anonymous
>>40265
Yeah. How interesting is it really? We've seen it already, now do something different!

And fake moaning. As soon as a girl is penetrated in any way she starts screaming. Its so obvious she is pretending to enjoy it so all the illusion is instantly gone.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>40275
Genuine screaming, even if not from sexual excitement, would be something. What's bad are these terrible "unh unh unh unh" steady rhythmic minimalist moans. Kills my boner in a heart beat.
>> Anonymous
- Needless moaning/screaming
- Hearing "I'm coming" over and over and over again for 2-3 mins
- That stupid camera shot they take at the dick thrusting inside the pussy/ass, when she's on top, it's not like watching sex it's like watching machinery.
>> Anonymous
Maria Ozawa's strange creaky voice.

Awkward additions of fetishes such as choking, footjobs and spitting when it doesnt fit the rest of the movie.
>> Anonymous
-Zooming in on the guy's face right as he cums

-Fake moaning, and the girl going yes yes yes yes yes fuck me fuck me yes yes yes in a bored voice. just shut up already.

-Gangbang porn where one guy fucks the chick while 20 others just stand around looking confused.

-DP porn that doesn't zoom out occasionally. Staring at man-ass for 5 minutes is not exactly preferable.

-ANY male talking. Just no. Nobody wants to hear you, you aren't fucking cool, you aren't an edgy misogynist. Shut the fuck up already.

-Related to the above, the cameraman talking. Unless it is homemade stuff, or if the cameraman happens to be female, just keep quiet. Most porn scripts are horrible anyway.

-Bad attempts at a storyline. "lol heres ur pizza." I normally skip ahead to the actual fucking instead.
>> Anonymous
> anything anal
Seconded. I have other peeves, but they've been mostly overridden by this one.
>> Anonymous
I wouldn't say it is anal that turns me off, just when they pull out and keep the girl's asshole spread open. That's just disgusting. Otherwise, I agree with just about everything else said.
>> Anonymous
>>40351

Same here. The thing about anal, is it's supposed to be even tighter than the pussy. I hate it when there's this massive gaping hole.
>> anon
milton twins in teeniebopper club - stop with the fake moaning and terrible acting - my penis does not appreciate it; he sees through the lies
>> Anonymous
Somebody should write an ED article about this
>> Anonymous
>>40685
Yeah. I could do it right now but i'm not feeling it
>> Anonymous
-When the guy tries to give the money shot, and only a tiny bit dribbles out.

-Pornstars that cant get it up

-Liz Vicious's boyfriend

-the guy suddenly pulling away from a blowjob to start jacking his dick, with a cumshot 5 minutes later while she sits there looking bored
>> Gentleman
>>40320
>>40351
these
>> Anonymous
Cumshots. They suck arse. <_<
>> Anonymous
>>40693
good thing i read all the way through before posting, if this was /r9k/ i would have been muted.
>> Anonymous
I tend to take a dim view of the fact that Greg Entner (that fuckhead on the "bangbros network" who insists on being known as "Dirty Sanchez") hasn't had the tongue sawn out of his head.
>> Gentleman
no pov blowjobs. i dont wan to see a man getting pleasured
>> Anonymous
This is going to sound a little gay, but I can't stand it when the guy is some hairy fat-ass. I see an attractive woman getting railed by some total fucking slob and I can't get off to it. I just end up feeling sorry for her.
>> Anonymous
anal, camera focus on the guy, creampies, men making noise, female squirting, ...
>> Anonymous
Chicks that don't do anal.
Too much makeup.
Too few positions.
Cowgirl. Reverse cowgirl is good though.
Chicks who are unenthusiastic or too enthusiastic.
Not enough pile driver.
>> Anonymous
>>40693
What's bad about Liz's boyfriend?
>> Anon
I really like bondage with latex movies!

Like this one http://tinyurl.com/28ehy5
>> Anonymous
Fat small-dicked guys that cant even get it up. just gtfo. Not everybody has to be Peter North, but at least get someone who seems interested in fucking
>> Anonymous
>>40256
You fucking queer
>> Anonymous
5+ minutes of oral unless it's 2 chicks. Also I don't get the deal with spanking. Spanking is great if the chick is into it, but most videos I see the chick is just annoyed by it.
>> Anonymous
-Yeah I can't stand it when the guy fucking talks forever. Also if he's obnoxious as hell(YEAH FUCK HER MAN FUCK HER!!!)

-if the girl sounds fake. Asia is someone who pisses me off cause all she says is,"Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah, fuck me, yeah yeah yeah yeah.

-10 minute blow-jobs. Especially if the video is under 20 minutes.

-Japanese porn. Ugh, so bad. Seriously I hate the fact that almost all the girls look like 5 years old, and they make this very very very very very annoying sound when fucked.
>> Anonymous
>>41106

read

>>40988
>> Anonymous
>>41274

Yeah, I tend to dislike Asian porn too, but not just because of the shrill voices. I hate how the girls always act like they're being raped or whatever when it's just a bunch of ugly old fat asian guys with small dicks feeling their tits. I hate that, too. All the guys ever do is sit there and grope the tits while on guy fucks her. What's the deal with that?
>> Anonymous
My turn offs are:

Talking guys too
Condoms
Stretch marks
30 year old "teens"
No anal
Black guys (just can't relate to their small penis)
>> Anonymous
I HATE IT WHEN THE PEOPLE FUCKING ARE NOT RELATED BY BLOOD!
>> Anonymous
The thing about Asian girls is that they're either amazingly hot or unspeakably ugly. There doesn't seem to be much middle ground.
>> Anonymous
>>41287
This is true.
>> Anonymous
>>41278
agreed. Which is why the term gangbang whenever used for an asian vid I find incorrect. Usually a japanese gangbang is just a couple of dudes groping a girl and only one guy fucking her.
>> Anonymous
Anything with kaci starr. dumb bitch
>> Anonymous
- Men AND women who talk while doing it.
- I wanna hear sighs of pleasure, NOT screams.
- Drunk AND talkative cameramen are assholes.
- Don't want to see stupid sluts getting fucked, but classy women having sex.
- Bad blowjobs AND deepthroats (a.k.a. "My mouth is another vagina, please pound it like you mean it" ... use your tongue, fer Christ's sake).
- Lack of imagination in positions.
- Phony dialogues before the action.
- I want foreplays.
- Hate assfucking only pr0n ... there are other holes, you know.
- I FUCKING hate gangbangs.
- Violence in general (douchebags trying to choke the girl they're sexxoring, donkey punkching, slapping, etc).
- Retarded interviews in gonzos ("Hi, how are you ? What's your name ? Is it the first time you have twelve cocks in your ass ?").
- I don't wanna see the male protagonist's face.
- Cumshots which go everywhere except where they're supposed to go (i.e. the girl's tongue / mouth / lips / feet / breast).
>> yeah scott
I hate when they film the guy as much as the girl if not more.

i hate bad camera angles. i don't want a close up on the guy's asshole.

when they repeat parts to make the scene longer.
>> Anonymous
Girls who look bored. You're getting paid to act, so ACT like you're having fun!

Fake interviews. Yes, I'm sure you're really doing a five guy creampie and not taking any birth control.

"Barely Legal Teens" with stretch marks, tats, and clit piercings. I understand that you're going to lie and probably use a 35 year old woman to represent a teenager, but make a fucking effort.
>> Anonymous
overly long blowjob scenes. sure, a minute is fine, but 54? bit excessive.

licking assholes. just...why?
>> Anonymous
>>40213
sauce on op?
>> Anonymous
>>41340

Sabina, as seen in her Round and Brown scene.
>> Anonymous
>>40346
Well then. Anything you like, i hate.
Then well, anything you hate, i love.
Especially if involves anal and you. Stud ;)
>> Handsome Young Nihilist !N1B5bnOe4g
>>40340-Bad attempts at a storyline. "lol heres ur pizza." I normally skip ahead to the actual fucking instead.

god, yes. the Naughty America vids are particularly egregious offenders. i don't need 10 minutes of shitty "setup" in a 25 minute video. shut up and fuck already.
>> Anonymous
Guys jerking themselves off, because they can't cum when it's the girl doing it.
That's a BIG turnoff.
>> Anonymous
most of the posted stuff, but specifically cumshots.

yes, this bars me from about 99% of porn.
>> Anonymous
- Guys who mastrubrate - no matter why
I hate it when guys fuck and then mastrubate to cum on the girl

- fake fun, what I mean is bad acting or unrealistic scripts. The best thing would be real orgasms on the female side if happy sex is part of the video

- No faces. I don't want to see a girl fucked by dicks. I want to see them fucked by men.

- irrealistic rape videos. If I rape a girl and want her to suck my dick I would do something that she don't bite it. And I would use a condom for fucking.
>> Anonymous
>>41379
>>41368
>>41302
>>41274
>>41273
>>41235
>>40693
>>40340
>>40320
>>40240
>>40213

All of these plus condoms and niggers.
>> Anonymous
I hate it when women do anal in every position but doggie/bent over. That's what I like so much about it is the ass in the air, not sitting on it (unless the ass is towards the camera), on their side, back, or w/e. But that's 90% of the anal videos I see, and I hate it.

I also hate when the guy is on one knee when he does doggie, cuz the knee is always blocking the girl's ass.

I hate gaping assholes too, as much as I like anal, I don't care for the asshole.

I'm sick of the camera on the guy's ass. It's always there the longest too. Why look at the guy's face or ass at all? This is made for men, not women. Do they do it to annoy us?

I don't like cum at all, or any bodily fluids for that matter.

I don't like watching scenes with toys at all, even if it's 2 girls. It's either a real dick, or no dick.

I hate bad dye jobs also.

That's all I can think of for now.
>> Anonymous
>>40320

are you saying machinery isnt erotic?
>> Anonymous
*"teen" milfs with pigtails. WTF

*FAT. ASS. WIMIZ. WTF? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THOSE TIMES WHEN PR0N ACTRESSES WERE ACTUALLY BEAUTY GODDESSES?

*Violence. Is not a turn on to see each other slaping around.

*Wiminz that won't do it in teh pooper.

*Talkative camera men - specially the ones that spend most of the time doing that stupid douche fake laughter.

*Wiminz that are obviously uninterested - you can see their vagOOO closed shut.

*Cum guzzling, cum swapping, creampies and what not are as disgusting as scat. DO NOT WANT.

*Talkative wiminz that "talk dirty" but they just say as many bad words as they can. Someone plox shove'em a cock down the throat
>> Anonymous
I really can't add much to this thread... So how about gay porn?

- Condoms. This is supposed to be a fantasy. I don't want reality slapping me in the face.
- Guys who can't get it up. This is one of my biggest turn offs.
- Weird fetish shit. Keep that stuff in their own movies.
- When it's "too nice" which is a problem a lot of gay porn has. Sometimes I want to see some dirty ass slapping sex, not cuddling and gentle thrusts.
- Small dicks. Did straight porn get all the hung men or what?
- And of course, weak cumshots.
>> Anonymous
- Girls who look like they're about to puke while giving a blowjob
- when the guy pushes her head on his cock. what the fuck? total turnoff.
- when there's two or more guys, one doing the fucking and the rest standing around with their dicks in hand. what the fuck, i don't want to see guys jerking off.
>> Anonymous
Other than much of what has already been said...I get pissed when I dont see enough pussy licking. He spends like three mintues on her and then there are about 4 different cock sucking scenes.

Really hate the shitty music. Seriously...I'd rather mute it.

Bad lighting.

Piercings on a either gender, especially clit rings on women. Infection city no matter how often she cleans that bitch.

Being able to see the razor burn and/or stubble on a chick's body. I saw one and I swear to anon I turned it off because all I could see what the infected hair.

Saggy tits. Welcome to the retirement home.

Guys that feel the urge to grunt like they are taking the biggest shit in their lives.

Facials. I want to see cum in the mouth, vagoo, or ass.
>> Anonymous
Spitting. It always comes out of fucking nowhere and completely confuses and terrifies me. I didn't even know that was a thing. Spitting isn't sexy. It's not even hygienic. Jesus Christ.

Lot of spitting in Naughty America stuff, which is pretty much the only thing I don't like about it.
>> Anonymous
-Any rape vids. I dont care what fantasy it is. any man that has to force himself onto a woman needs to get his ass raped with a ball of barbed wire.

- Agree with spitting. Lube it with your fucking tongue

- Men that laugh. Creepy as fuck

- Men who are clearly not hard but chicks seem to find their dicks fascinating

- Girls that make odd facial expressions.
>> Anonymous
I gotta say, personally, I'm a fan of lame-ass plots when they're done in a tongue-in-cheek/over the top way. Like Naughty America. Again. They're always very blatantly cheesy, and they help the experience.
>> Anonymous
>>41461

I know, most of the time it's lame and totally random.
>> Anonymous
*Any storyline whatsoever. I don't give even half a shit about what some bimbo slut and her dipshit boyfriend came up for a plotline. Fuck or get the fuck out.

*Spitting in assholes to lube them up. What the fuck?

*Girls who make no noise, girls who make too much noise, girls who sound fake

*Guys who say anything, show their face at any point, or have half flaccid fucking tiny microscopic dicks.

*Cameras focused on man ass.

*Same position for minutes straight.

*Hour long blowjobs.

*Condoms

*no foreplay/early cut off during porn

*Any of those shitty movies where they abuse the girl afterwards, like kicking her out of the house/van/private jet or some shit after they're done.

*"Gangbang" where 1 or 2 people fuck her, and the others stand around jerking off and talking to each other.

*Interviews.
>> Anonymous
>>40240
>Bad dye jobs. Blonds don't have more fun.
>Raccoon eye mascara. Seriously, it makes most women look like drug addicts. I don't want to fuck Tammy Faye Baker.

Those can be fucking hot.

>Certain types of cum shots. I don't want to see you fart cum on a glass table, and if he cums in your mouth, I don't want to see you spit it out and suck it back in for five minutes. That's not hot, that's fucking disgusting. Facials are fine if you must, sure, whatever, but please don't make me sick.

Now you're just being a pussy.
>> Anonymous
>>41459
>Girls who look like they're about to puke while giving a blowjob

But it's awesome when they do puke.
>> Anonymous
For me it's disgusting old fat guys fucking girls that are 100x too hot for them.
>> Anonymous
>>41460
In general agreement with this anon. Also:

- Peter North, Randy Spears, Ed Powers. Somebody kill these faggots, please.

- double anal/vag/oral. I'm not really interested in seing two dicks rub against each other in otherwise het scenes.

- ass/leg/crotch acne on anyone. Good christ at least put some concealer on that massive whitehead on the back of the leg. Bonus: herpes rashes. *vomits*

- trackmarks (unless in that creepy videotaping actual prostitutes subgenre - don't care then because I won't be watching that shit)

- any obvious plastic surgery, including botox.

- amateur videos with children's toys, cribs, or kids crying in the background. ugh

- stills photographer who doesn't turn the shutter sound off on his stupid camera and insists on using a flash. Bonus fail: YOU ARE IN THE SHOT YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER

- vibrator noise. Either turn it off, mask it, drop it from the scene, or put the cheese general midi on.
>> Anonymous
>>41480
Agreed
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Kelly Wells annoys the fuck out of me. She's not that hot (and she apparently loves to make fucked up facial expressions) and she babbles constantly in every video. And then I read this interview where she tries to make herself look like some kind of artsy recluse. God DAMN, I actually hate her.
>> Anonymous
>>41492
)stills photographer who doesn't turn the shutter sound off on his stupid camera and insists on using a flash. Bonus fail: YOU ARE IN THE SHOT YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER

You can't turn off the shutter sound on an slr.
>> Anonymous
>>40351
Gaping is weird but tolerable. Shit stains are bonerkill.
>> Anonymous
Stephanie cane is so hot, but her acting is so boner killing i just watch her on mute.
>> Anonymous
>>41497
Real physical film shutter and transport makes noise but precious few production companies actually use slides anymore. If they can afford to use film, they can afford to the tape so the camerafags can light for their shots.
>> Anonymous
-Pornstars making stupid fucked up faces. Fujiko Kano is a good example. Also any porn where it zooms in on the guy's face when he cums.

-Guys making strange animal-like grunts

-People that just aren't into it. It is no lie when I say that I saw a guy actually fall asleep during a blowjob.

-"artsy" porn, where it shows two people slowly fucking out in nature, with sudden and dramatic camera pans to shots of the ocean and wildlife.
>> Anonymous
>>41340
That's a woman.
>>41267
Watermark lol.
>> Anonymous
I Like all the things you people dont like
>> Anonymous
under-the-balls-shot:nothing gets me aroused like a hairy man ass and ballsac!

pron where they start clothed,take off their shirts,and next shot are naked already:shit take it slow,dry hump a bit.
>> Anonymous
Seconding the weak-ass cumshots. Seriously, it's pathetic. We had another couple over and we were watching Pirates and we were all making fun of the no-range jizz. Well, that and Evan Stone's windsock scrotum.
>> Anonymous
agree with spitting. spitting all over a pussy just makes it kind of gross.
>> Anonymous
>>41379
>>41403

Agree. There is SO MUCH of this too. Why can't they let the girl finish them off? I don't care how it feels for the guy, I don't even want to see his face. It looks worse when the guy does it.

Also spitting... what's the obsession with slobbering mucus everywhere? Like deepthroat videos where the girl gags herself to bring up huge amounts of flem. I guess it's supposed to be raunchy but it's overly sick to watch.
>> Anonymous
creepy pushy POV talking in gonzo's... like where the guy holding the camera just talks total shit constantly and says things like "ok sweety... you think you can lick my ass now? Is that ok?" like he's doing tech support for a twelve year old.

It kills my buzz.
>> Anonymous
>>41379
yeah lets have some legitimate come shots for once... no more wank offs onto the face which take ages and the girl just sits there with her eyes closed trying not to look bored...
>> &gt;&gt; Anonymous
Boring blow jobs where only the head is slightly licked and maybe mouthed. And they still last five minutes plus.

I like anal but not where they go all out and crush the poor girl. Anal isn't meant to be driven like a jackhammer.

Saying stupid stuff like "yeah fuck that pussy fuck it fucking hard fuck fuck fuck" and "omg you're fucking me soooooooooooooooooo good."

Pigtails, It looks fucking stupid.
>> Anonymous
niggers
>> fuck yes Anonymous
every thing you just said is completely and utterly true! Amen bro!
>> Anonymous
I agree, a stupid cameraman ruins porn.

I don't want to see the chicks left ass cheek.