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Pornography-Desensitized Populace Demands New Orifice To Look At Anonymous
WASHINGTON— Jaded by the sight of what it deemed "run-of-the-mill" orifices, the nation's pornography-saturated populace released a statement Monday demanding a new bodily opening to leer at. "At this point, staring at an anus, vagina, or beckoning mouth has become so commonplace that it is no more titillating than ogling, say, the human elbow," the statement read in part, its list of demands specifying that the new orifice, wherever its location on the body, must be concealed by some sort of clothing or shroud during the majority of the day, so that the viewer grows more eager for its eventual revelation when its covering is seductively removed. "If at all possible, we'd prefer some sort of self-moistening orifice that grips tightly enough to constrain fingers and foreign objects, but also gapes wide enough to fit a human head." According to pornographic historians, there hasn't been a public outcry like this since 1989, when the nation's mainstream pornographic-film industry pacified its audience by unveiling the first penetrable asshole.
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>> Anonymous
Looks like someone can copy and paste from The Onion.
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>>96312

And you can post without an image! Hooray!
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>> Anonymous
aw bump
>> Anonymous
needs moar anal gaping
>> Anonymous
Anon demands urethra pron
>> Anonymous
> According to pornographic historians

I just figured out what to do with my life.
>> Anonymous
yeah this "article" isnt real.

>by unveiling the first penetrable asshole.

no one would write that
>> Anonymous
"staring at a stuffed, gaping, or damaged anus... has become so commonplace"
Fixed for truth.

Honestly guys, you just can't stand to look at an undamaged anus. Sort of like how the Muslims can't handle seeing female lips and are inspired to rape, but with the opposite end of the digestive tract.
>> Anonymous
THE ONION
>> Anonymous
>>97054
Yes, I know. I was inspired to make some fact out of fiction. Now go eat your onions.
>> Anonymous
onionchan
>> the_truth
it is an onion story:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/pornography_desensitized