File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Hello there to the carbon based hairless primates calling themselves "anoymous". I won't bother telling you who I am, you wouldn't be able to pronounce the name anyways, so just call me Bill.

You know that meteorite that hit Peru? We call that step three. Step one was observation and obtaining genetic samples.

Using the genetic information collected in step one we crafted a disease. It starts out innocently enough, a few of you get a little ill but no big deal, nobody dies... yet. Those infected will slowly spread the disease across the world and across generations.

Step two was more observation as well as spreading disinformation. We told a whole bunch of your less trustworthy individuals a few bogus stories about ourselves while dressed up as big-headed bug-eyed little gray things and the like. The reason? I suggest you read the classic Earth tale "The Boy Who Cried Wolf". Oh by the way we also started the whole zombie craze that's been sweeping through your culture via moving pictures and the like.

Present day: You're all pretty much infected and as we hide safely back at our home planet we activate the disease via meteorite.

Step four: We send in our automated machines to mop up any survivors (there won't be many).
Step five: We arrive to take our place as the new rulers of Earth.

I've included a sexually explicit image to get your attention as I've been told you like that kind of thing.
>> Anonymous
youre invading /b/


............


there is no life here
>> ejacu1337
>>754763

they're invading earth, genius. read the fucking post, you sad, little man.

please, PLEASE OP, kill that poster slow.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
as long as i get to do what ever i want to beth for 1 month i don't really give a fuck. now do as the sign sez or post more. And have you not seen our movies?? Humans always win...
>> Anonymous
well i beleive you should know the title to 1/18/08 then...
>> Anonymous
Sounds like one of them "Nigra Scare Tactics."
>> Anonymous
On behalf of 4chan I thank you for your courtesy in informing us in detail of your plans, and commend your wisdom for choosing the correct avenue to announce it.

I believe we can all agree that we have no choice but to yield to the conquering wisdom of using a passive (To the point of ambiguity) and slow-acting plan to eradicate the human race in a fashion virtually identical to our own machinations, then expaining the flawless, convoluted plan for no reason.

Your choice in Wal-Mart cashier fashion is also appreciated, as their low prices are so good it's sexy.

However, your picture is not animated. Your pretentiousness in assuming we'd also accept this crap is ill-received.

By the way, it's spelled 'anonymous'.
>> Anonymous
>>754789
animation worked for me beth there has a nice vagoo
>> Anonymous
Pics or it didn't happen.
>> Anonymous
<-- I saw you on /b/, and /x/ is still that way
>> Anonymous
<-- I saw you on /g/, and /x/ is still that way
>> Anonymous
pics or it didn't happen

gtfo newfag

we'll barrel role on your ass
>> Anonymous
Bring it.
>> SAGE SAGE
SAGE-DESU!
>> Anonymous
But I'm not hairless. Which means I'm immune, right?
>> Anonymous
tl;dr
>> Anonymous
sage
>> Anonymous
Can I JOIN you? I know a lost cause when I live on it for long enough.
>> Anonymous
>>754993
The only way to join him is to become an hero.
>> Anonymous
PENIS PENIS PENIS
>> the first step? Anonymous
Travel all those light years and post shit on /gif

Way to conquer the earth genius
>> Anonymous
>>754756
why would someone even waste the time writing this?
>> Anonymous
dick dick dick lol

moar
>> Anonymous
>>755067
Welcome to 4chan
>> Anonymous
Tits or GTFO!!
>> Anonymous
NOE WE KNOWE WHO U R
CMON 4CHAN LET'S SKULLFUCK THIS SPACEFAG
>> Anonymous
>>754756
What meteorite?
pics or it didnt happen
>> Anonymous
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7001897.stm
learn to lurk the fuck more fgts
>> Anonymous
Paper bag please.
>> Come ON.... Anonymous
Bill, if that is your name, your species is obviously far less sophisticated than you lead us to believe by this post.
Allow me to explain. A species technologically advanced enough to genetically engineer a virus capable of infecting billions of people and remain dormant until some command is issued would have no need to destroy humanity. A race this sophisticated could easily use some kind of nanomachinery (possibly released into the atmosphere and programmed to seek out human life) to gain control of the species as a whole by altering their brains at a cellular level. This would provide a source of cheap labor that, though having the adaptivity of a sentient being, would be easily controlled by altering or "deleting" memories. Heck, they could be effectively reprogrammed to obey orders no matter what. Or, you could go the extra mile and use a virus to create a genetic disposition towards obedience, or even take a hybrid approach, using nanotechnology to remove any rebellious tendencies.
As such, I am lead to believe that yours is, in fact, a fairly primitive species. Though you may have an impressive technological level, I suspect that you seized this technology from more peaceful neighbors. You may not even know how to repair the machinery you use. This level of barbarism has been noted in the past, and I believe that yours is species XV922.
>> Come ON.... Anonymous
Species XV922 was first encountered in the early 1900s when what has been identified as a scouting vessel was deflected by an asteroid belt and landed near the German city of Erlange. Though treated civilly and given medical treatment using information retrieved from its (Species XV922 has three genders: male, female, and a sterile gender that does not translate into our language) ship, the individual, later codenamed XL039 (eXtra-terrestrial Lifeform 39), attacked and killed the two doctors that were treating its wounds. XL039 was later found dead fourteen miles away. Cause of death: infectious disease. XL039 was killed by a virus that they had not evolved the means to combat: a strain of the common cold.
The planet earth is ill suited to the use of Species XL922 because of the concentration of mildly poisonous gases such as NITROGEN and OXYGEN. There is not enough methane in the atmosphere to contain populations outside of atmospheric domes. The native microbes are fatal to individuals at best, and the low level of sunlight and intense gravity makes movement difficult (Species XV922 utilizes a type of methane-based photosynthesis, producing no byproducts). Other planets would be far better suited to colonization, and are uninhabited to boot! This lack of logical consideration leads me to believe that humanity is in no real danger. Also, my sources inform me that your society will soon go through a period of upheaval an anarchy.
Perhaps you should consider your enemies before those who can harm you not.
>> Anonymous
>>755189
>>755191
tl;dr
>> Anonymous
>>754778
>>754789
>>755009
exactly.
>> Anonymous
>>754756
god now im gonna go fap infront of the greeter at walmart
>> Anonymous
omg who evar wrote that just made a tear to eye and completely owned whatevar tried to act like an alien cudos to (come on.....) nicely played :P
>> Anonymous
>>755191
>>755189
Someone make an "intellectual checkmate" poster out of this.
>> Anonymous
Mr. Alien, who's anoymous? I'm Anonymous... wrong planet.
>> Anonymous
>>755225
lol, ya.
XV922 are all punks.
QR39201, on the other hand....
>> Anonymous
Species 8472?
wait, what?
>> Anonymous
It's obvious that you're a newfag alien.

/b/ is <----- that way\
>> Anonymous
>>755272
because /gif/ is obviously made of only ondfags and
>>755261
star trek nerds.

^
|
|
|
|
7chan is that way (for most browsers)
>> Anonymous
This is made of aids and fail
>> Anonymous
>>755272
I lol'd
>> Anonymous
Lmao, aliens on 4chan, now that's funny. Sorry Mr. Alien, but if you're on 4chan, you must be an epic alien of truly fappage lulz.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>755232
lol, here
>> Anonymous
Alians cant use computers retard.>>754756You havent seen many Zombie movies then, humans frequently lose. Or cliffhanger.>>754779WHY THE FUCK WOULD AN ALIEN POST ON 4CHAN INSTADE OF CNN.COM OR SOME OTHER BULLSHIT NEWS SITE. BECAUSE HE IS JUST A FUCKING RETARD TRYING TO SCREW WITH US. AND WE ARE FUCKING RETARDS FOR REPLYING. (In be4 speak for yourself.)
>> Anonymous
>>754756nice, i love how you managed to misspell "anonymous. seeing how almost every post begins with it.
>> Anonymous
>>754756
SAUCE!
>> Anonymous
>>755428
Wal*Mart.
>> hmmm koal
name the mega mana's and the self partials and maybe, just maybe i might at least say you can try to take humanity. if you don't know the mega mana's you have about as much of a chance as a hobo....or an animal like a sloth....to take earth. cause all humans have mega mana's, slight differences, but they all have em. have fun being fucked over by ignorance. chow alien hobo
>> Anonymous
>>754756

Step 6: Profit?
>> Anonymous
hai guise