File :-(, x, )
The GLAVE ! ! ! ! Anonymous
SCHHHTING ! ! !

You fuckers,

have

just

been

GLAVED ! ! ! ! !
>> Anonymous
1323491
Yes
>> Anonymous
>>1323491
>> Anonymous
Best weapon EVER!
>> Anonymous
Thought it was Glaive...
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>1323505
It depends on the region

HERES ANOTHER GLAVE FOR YOUR INSOLENCE ! ! !
>> Anonymous
remember when jesus used one in southpark
>> Anonymous
10 reasons why Krull is a better film than Lord of the Rings

1). Krull does not have any hobbits in it - Hobbits are representative of the English petite bourgeoisie. In the real world they vote Tory, complain about gypsies and spend their time wearing brass-buttoned blasers and writing angry, ill-informed letters to the Times.

2). Krull has a better bad guy - The Beast is an inhuman cthuloid creature who hops between worlds in his Black Fortress. Sauron is a flaming vagina who overly invested in bling.
>> Anonymous
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3). Krull has a better good guy - Aragorn is an emokid who lives in the wilderness until he is called upon to topple a legitimate government and serve as a Noriega-style puppet for Elven and Wizard interests in the Gondor area. I imagine him aged 50 with a paunch and mirrored sunglasses shaking President Reagan's hand before signing the death warrants of Mordor-friendly revolutionaries. By contrast Prince Colwyn has a beard, wears bollock-crushingly tight trousers, is quite camp and kills people with an awesome spinny thing.

4). Krull has Freddie Jones in it - The Lord of the Rings has the chick from the Aerosmith videos.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
5). Krull was originally intended to be an official Dungeons and Dragons film - Watching The Lord of the Rings feels like sitting in on someone's interminable D&D Campaign. In fact, you could probably clean out the Temple of Elemental Evil in the time it takes to watch all of the Lord of the Rings films.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
6). Krull's plot-hammer is a LOT cooler - When Tolkien writes himself into a corner he has an undead army turn up and vanquish the forces of evil. In the film Jackson has this happen in about thirty seconds begging the question as to why Aragorn or his forefathers did not just call up the army and wipe Mordor off the map without the need for questing and heroic defences of castles. Krull, by contrast, has a bunch of Clydesdales who run so quickly that their hooves catch fire and they fly. The first resolves all plot problems with such force as to render all the sacrifice and suffering needless. The second gets the characters from one spot to another and leaves them to fight the final battle.
>> Anonymous
>>1323573
you should write for cracked. i mean, you're not funny, but you got the list thing down pretty good.
>> Anonymous
7). Krull's noble sacrifice is far more interesting - At the end of the film, Rell the Cyclops must return home in order to die peacefully. Failure to make his way home ensures that he will die in terrible pain but, after leaving for home, the Cyclops turns around and holds a door open just long enough for his friends to get into the Beast's castle even though he is squashed in the process. Gandalf falls off a bridge. Then he comes back. Thereby completely negating the sacrificial element. (See also Jean Grey, Aslan and Jesus as examples of fantasy characters who undermine their own sacrifices because the author doesn't have the wontons to bump off their favourite Mary Sue).
>> Anonymous
8). Krull's giant Spider has a reason for being there - Frodo and Sam are lured to Shelob's lair as a transparent set up for a set piece for two characters who essentially spend the last couple of films walking. Krull's giant spider is the sole guard of a prison where a powerful seer was sent for the crime of loving the doubt-ridden Ynyr. In order to discover the whereabouts of the Black Fortress, Ynyr (now an old man) has to sneak past the giant spider and confront his past and sacrifice his life in order to get the information out.
>> Anonymous
9). Krull has fresh ideas - While the book of The Lord of The Rings did a fantastic job of innovation and reimagination of old fantasy tropes, the film version is content with depicting overly familiar ideas. Krull, by contrast, moves beyond Tolkienian tropes and introduces a number of new ideas such as the world-hopping castle, the Cyclops as an individually doomed people, the Fire Mares and the GLAIVE, a cinematic weapon as iconic as the disc in Tron.
>> Anonymous
its a fukken image board doofus
>> Anonymous
10). Krull's heroes are social outcasts - The political aspects of The Lord of The Rings revolve around Gandalf effectively convincing the great and the good of Middle Earth to do their jobs. He's kind of a fantasy version of Winston Churchill. Colwyn's companions are an incompetent wizard, an eerie cyclops and a band of criminals and murderers. The Lord of the Rings involves people doing their job, Krull involves people sacrificing themselves for an idea and for friendship.

And while I would like to take credit for writing this, I cant, I only tweeked it a little.
http://www.sfdiplomat.net/sf_diplomat/2008/08/10-reasons-why-krull-is-a-better-film-than-lord-of-the
-rings.html
>> Anonymous
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Tw29mVh56fA&fmt=18

awesome clip
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
>>1323577

One does not simply walk into mordor.
>> Anonymous
>>1323653
win
>> Anonymous
>>1323689
Prince Colwyn: Would you follow a king to the black fortress?
Torquil: Now I know you're a lunatic. I wouldn't follow me own father to the black fortress.


trumped
>> Anonymous
that thing fell out of my ass
>> Anonymous
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>> Anonymous
KRULL ! ! ! ! ! !

FUCK YEA ! ! ! ! ! !