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Anonymous
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
>> Anonymous
This hypnotoad thing is almost as stupid as candlejALL GLORY TO THE HYNOT-
>> Anonymous
I never understood theALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
>> Anonymous
ALL GLORY,,,,*snap*.. ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
Hey guys im new to 4chan does this all glory thing just happen all on its own? I mean its like everwALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
>> Anonymous
threads like this are the cancer killing 4chan
>> Anonymous
all glory to my dick.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Used this for my animated desktop. Gets freaky after awhiALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
>> Anonymous
>>1292092
no, its fags like you who are a cancALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
>> Anonymous
Why do newfags still think this is cancer? It's one of the least caALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
>> zoltan
The world's last genie's lamp was discovered, accidentally, by a crocodile who brushed past it while prowling the depths of a watering hole in Kenya. This was why the world's last burst of real magic raised no eyebrows; only a few biologists noticed when the local gazelles suddenly became plumper, slower, and much, much thirstier.
>> zoltan
"Planning a big night?" inquired her roommate. The young woman only grinned and arranged the candles. Soon they cast wavering cones of light across the soft carpet, dancing in time with wisps of smoke from the incense. She smiled, lay belly-down on the floor, opened the book and launched into the first crossword puzzle.
>> zoltan
"Never show weakness," bellowed the lion-tamer. "They can smell it." The apprentice looked dubiously at the lions, particularly one grumpy-looking, scarred lioness. "What about moral weakness?" he asked. "I steal cable and drive an SUV. Also, I cheat on girlfriends." Quickly the lion-tamer raised his chair, catching the lioness in mid-pounce.
>> zoltan
She was a magical aunt. When I skinned my knee, Father applied a stinging liquid, but Aunt spoke and the pain faded. On Halloween I wanted a real witch's hat; Aunt provided. When she died gently at 140, songbirds flew from her mouth in all directions. Afterwards Father said "never speak of her to anyone."
>> zoltan
One day the color red disappeared. Confused gray cardinal-birds took wing over a city rapidly emptying of most everyone's favourite color. Mayor Blakely called a special press meeting. Reporters battered him with questions; soon the mayor looked overwhelmed, and then somewhat annoyed. Examining his wristwatch idly, he said "I was always partial to blue myself."
>> zoltan
Fathoms and fathoms under the sea, the octopuses bake their octopies. They come from the oven hot and steaming, filled to the crusty brim with krill and anglerfish and beluga toes. Everyone comes over that night for a raucous party. Sharks, uninvited, slowly cruise the dark perimeter waiting for bits of crust to drift by.
>> zoltan
"Say that again," she whispered, tickling her fingers through his hair.

"God you're beautiful," he said, gasping a little, watching the moonlight curve over her.

"Say that again," she whispered.

"God you're beautiful," he said.

"Say that again," she whispered.

"God you're beautiful," he said.

"Say that again," she whispered.

"Yadda yadda yadda," he said.
>> zoltan
He tripped and fell, his armful of diskettes scattering.

"How do you manage to be so clumsy?" I asked. "I mean, this is a flat surface."

"I'm not clumsy," he insisted. "Rather, my feet are sensitive to an alternate dimension."

"Really."

"Yes. An alternate dimension." He rose, brushing off grit.

"It's very rocky," he added.
>> zoltan
"We're always joking around," I said. "For once I'd like to be serious. I'd like to share things. I'd like to tell you about a barn I saw on the way to the cottage: aged, collapsing, a sprawled creature drunk on nostalgia."

"I see," he said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "Like your mom."
>> zoltan
When little Jack complained that his home was always full of fighting, filth and mess, his mother hauled him outside and showed him a bird's nest high in a tree. "At least," she said, "you weren't born in that."

Jack found it inspirational. He ran away from home and, years later, became a Nobel-Prize-Winning ornithologist.
>> zoltan
He assembled a bowl of cereal, moving slowly, paying careful respect to his worsening headache. His breathing seemed too loud. Sitting down at the table, he laid out the pages of the letter and picked through the cramped text line by line. The sun rose and the cereal squares got plump and soft with milk.
>> zoltan
Paul considered himself an amateur marine biologist. By day he repaired photocopiers, but at night he devoured books on undersea life. Vigorously he memorized facts, until, one dark night, he read about the remarkable intelligence of squid. The paramedics found him comatose, rendered senseless by the chilling thought of millions of cephalopods relentlessly becoming smarter.
>> zoltan
She coughed nervously. He fumbled with his napkin.

"So, you work in radio?" she said. "Um, how is that?"

"Uh, it's good," he said. "Frantic, though. You want constant, top-notch content, but most importantly you want to avoid dead air."

"Huh," she said. "Dead air."

"Yeah."

"Huh."

They scanned their menus for the hundredth time.
>> zoltan
He came home to find her curled on the rug, crying again.

"Happy birthday!" he said. "Fed your birds today?"

"No."

"Come," he said, "I got you a present." Gently he led her outside and poured seed into her hand. Soon, her favourite sparrow landed.

It wore a miniscule party hat.

Her face lit up.
>> zoltan
Two fish hung in the sun-shafted depths of a small pool, looking up.

"I wonder when the human will return," said the koi.

"I wish I was a human," murmured the angelfish. "They're blessed with an endless supply of fish pellets."

"I don't," said the koi vehemently. "Their world is dreadfully ripply and shaky."
>> zoltan
"What did your mom send you?" she asked. He pulled the sweater over his head. "It's too big!" she exclaimed, laughing. "Your fingers barely poke out of the sleeves." He laughed too. She left later, and in the quiet winter night he snuggled into the warm wool, revelling in the long-lost feeling of smallness.
>> zoltan
The newly-appointed museum director strode into the collections department. "Here's the problem," she said, tapping lean fingers on a label. "These Latin names are intentionally obscure! Ornithorhynchus anatinus? Haliaeetus albicilla? Elitist! No wonder attendance is down.

"Fix it," she barked, and marched from the room.

"Canis familiaris," muttered a curator.

"Nephelopsis obscura," grumbled another.
>> Anonymous
You're all a bunch of morons. Seriously it's just a cartoon it's not like it's anything really that im-ALL GLORY TO THE HYPONOTOAD
>> zoltan
"I love her," the psychology professor thought, glancing across the faculty lunchroom at the archaeologist. "But does she love me, or is it mere psychological projection?"

"I love him. Does he love me?" thought the archaeologist, briefly meeting his eyes. After he left, she would sort through the remains of his lunch, hunting for clues.
>> zoltan
"I'm leaving you," she said, "for the rugged North." She waved her acceptance letter.

He half-shrugged. Being dumped for a top school was hardly ego-crushing.

"For thick, proud trees," she continued huskily. "For gushing, untamed rivers. Broad deltas. Penetrating winds that plaster your jacket to your heaving chest."

He blinked, feeling oddly emasculated.
>> zoltan
He drew two pistols. Spurs clanked like old silverware, announcing every step. In the distance a rusty herd of Mustang raced the roiling arms of an oncoming prairie t-storm.

"Jim," said Marsha from Marketing, waving a file folder before his eyes. "Jim?"

Jim blinked, and realised he was brandishing two staplers.

"Yeehaw," he said quietly.
>> zoltan
They sat on the sunny porch.

"Drop it," he said.

"Drop it," she said.

"Seriously, stop!"

"Seriously, stop!"

He sighed, and passed her half a two-stick popsicle.

"Look, kiddo," he said, "either you'll slowly get bored, or I'll stymie this puerile diversion with longwinded elitist linguistic constructions."

She grinned.

"Better," he said.

"Better," she said.
>> zoltan
Life was good. The climate was always mild, and the light (though watery) was constant. Monkeys tromped by all day, spewing delicious CO2. One even watered him weekly.

Sometimes insects snuck in. A mantis assured him firmly that no plants could spread in this "shopping mall." Such ignorance! He vigorously constructed seeds, biding his time.
>> zoltan
I read in a book that truly crazy people don't ask, "Am I crazy?" Encouraged, I started asking this of everyone I met. The answer was irrelevant; the very act was reassuring. When I'd queried every person in town, I asked housepets, then cows. Now I talk to inanimate objects.

I rest easy every night.
>> zoltan
She put on a painfully orange sweater, pink pants, and a bilious yellow scarf. She paused to consider two pairs of socks: one was purple, the other a highly radioactive green.

"Mother's car is pulling up," her fiancee called from downstairs. "Are you ready?"

"Just a minute," she said cheerfully, and chose the green socks.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
ALL GLORY TO THE DNYARRI!

( http://wiki.uqm.stack.nl/Talking_Pet_(device) )
>> Anonymous
starcontrol rules.
>> zoltan
In the livingroom debris lay his childhood diary. He carried it to the roof, sat down and read:

When I grow up, I'll be a Policeman, with handcuffs, boots and a big gun.

His ear caught the groans of the first incoming zombies. He raised his rifle.

"One out of four ain't bad," he said.
>> zoltan
She sipped her wine. "My professor proposes," she said, "that we evolved to find beautiful that which resembles resources essential to our survival."

"Preposterous," he said, and ran a hand through hair as golden as a field of wheat ready for harvest. She shrugged, and met his eyes, two blue pools of fresh clean water.
>> zoltan
She awoke, stretching her body deliciously into the soft silk. She had been so idle these past few days, but today felt different. Warm sunlight trickled in with whisps of fresh summer breeze, and her cozy nest seemed suddenly more confining than luxurious. Slowly, cautiously, she and the other little spiders emerged from the nest.
>> zoltan
His online dating profile had mentioned an enthusiasm for theoretical physics. "Scientists postulate billions of universes!" he said. "Hopefully there's one in which dwells the living embodiment of my videogame avatar, an elf maiden with enormous gazongas."

She sipped chardonnay, wondering if there was even one universe in which he would ever see her naked.
>> zoltan
"I used to be much prettier," she said mournfully. "I wish you'd known me then."

"It's a good thing I didn't," he said. "You already make me dizzy and faint. Any prettier and I'd collapse to the floor, twitching and drooling, my final breath a slow hideous gurgle."

"You say the sweetest things," she said.
>> zoltan
"Yeah, right, sex," Lenny says to his roommate. "Women! Tell you what, you croak like a bullfrog, you ruffle your feathers, you bob and strut, performing weird mating rituals like on the Discovery Channel, and where's it get you?"

"Hmmm," George says, his feet dangling from the top bunk. "I've never tried it using feathers."
>> zoltan
Lentil Soup

Will flirted with language, but had commitment problems. He mixed metaphors like James Bond martinis, shaking things up and stirring the drink with the last straw. When the road of life forked, he took the spoon and ran away with the cow.

Although Will found coherence intriguing, he much preferred a bowl of lentil soup.
>> zoltan
Last time I saw it, it was stepping off the curb between two cars in Cleveland, its pockets empty but for her crumpled tissues, its buttons loose and dangling like the broken necks of hanged men, though others swear they've since seen it from behind and accompanied by rain, notwithstanding which I miss it, sometimes.
>> zoltan
Click!

Tonight?

Click!

Last night...

Click!

This morning

Click! And she moved on, gliding the cursor over each subject line, pressing DELETE.

Red eyes aching. Pale lines vanishing.

Thinking of you

Click!

Can’t wait

Click!

Beautiful

She paused. Remembered his arms around her.

Then remembered his arms around 'her'.

Click! Click! Click!

And she moved on.
>> zoltan
A bacterium stands at the foot of a mountain, sizing up the plaque-capped molar with concrete resolve. It has climbed molars before and desires a real challenge. In a gum-lit mouth, it ascends the fiercest of canine with their dangerous peaks, staving off toothpaste avalanches, flash flosses, and mouthwash storms, eager to stake its flag.
>> zoltan
You butcher of words!
Your poems are so ugly,
They make my ears bleed.

Your Haiku was wrong.
Please do disembowel yourself.
You have no honour.

I am your leige lord,
I ask for what is my right,
You may use my sword.

Bow your head in shame.
I accept your seppuku.
Redeem your clan.
>> zoltan
the world was a jumble of lights and vibrating nerves. she could taste it on the back of her tongue everytime she breathed through her nose. soon her world was a high-contrast film where no one knew the ending. she reached out and fell wondering if the fall was as good as the high.
>> zoltan
We couldn't decide which was more instinctual: her monotone "Spare change?" or my mumbled "Sorry I can't." Alas, doesn't matter. The same cross-town bus shattered us both, and for the better. Now we wake every morning side by side in a seventh floor hospital room, where love blossomed over cherry Jell-o, pinkies locked for life.
>> zoltan
do you want more or should i stop?
>> Anonymous
>>1292291
Your Haiku was wrong. 5
Please do disembowel yourself. 8
You have no honour. 5

FAIL
>> ALL HAIL THE DNYARRI! Anonymous
>>1292275
Yes, and it ever did.
Played Ur-Quan Masters (UQM) lately?
(Last version I played was 0.3 in german. Quite a while ago.)
>> zoltan
>>1292303

HEY IT WAS HARD TO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

Haiku's are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator