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Anonymous File :-(, x)
I may be a bit weird, but I don't sit on the toilet at all because it's disgusting (think about it for 2 seconds)
I kind of do an invisible chair thing. It's weird as hell typing this. I hold the cheeks apart so shit won't touch as much as possible. I use a piece of dampened paper towel or toilet paper to clear the area so it can come out more easily (maybe it helps to lube it a bit). Afterwards, I use 1-3 sheets of dampened paper towels and it cleans up really easily (NOT soaking, if it's dripping even a little it's too wet and will just make a mess and not work well). When the area is moistened first, it seems the shit doesn't stick much (it's like using a no-stick spray to make your chocolate muffins)
I hate toilet paper, I can't figure it out, and it takes me like a half a roll each time I try to use it, so I use wet paper towels (when at home) which actually uses up less material because toilet paper sucks so much (makes me rage). It does plug up easier, but not with the amount I use.
Paper towels would be awful dry, but they are perfect damp. Usually I fold the sheet once or twice for durability and less wetness. Paper towels don't shred and leave bits and pieces all over, like the inferior and infuriating toilet paper.
Also I find there is an art to how you release it. Forcing is almost always bad. Relaxing and letting things happen on their own helps to drop whole shits and not cut them off and leave stuff inside and make a mess outside, which feels horrible :( It's taken years to perfect it, finally almost every shit is a clean, complete one. It makes me happy!
Oh and the pic is my face when I take a shit.
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