File :-(, x, )
Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
Listen you fucking FAGGOTS. I'm here to tell you about someone even better than Milo. His name, is SAMSON. He is an ALPHA-ER male.

Listen to some shit he did just for shits and giggles:

God told him that he must have a beard. So he grew a beard. His beard made him CAPTAIN KING of the Israelites.

On the way to his wedding, his wife is attacked by a lion. He calmly TEARS IT IN HALF. Then bees nest in the corpse and make honey, and he eats the honey.

At the wedding, he gives a riddle to 30 of his groomsmen. They threaten to kill him, so he KILLS THEM, KILLS THEIR FAMILIES, AND BURNS AND SALTS THEIR LAND.

Of course the Philistines want revenge for this, right? He agrees to be tied up and given to the Philistines. He busts out of his ropes, tears the jaw off a donkey, and KILLS A THOUSAND OF THEM.

Later on, some dumb bitch figures out the secret and shaves off his beard. He's then made to work as a slave for a few months, and has his eyes poked out. Six months later, he goes to a temple for the Philistines to mock him. Realizing that his beard grew back, he RIPS THE PILLARS OFF OF THE BUILDING AND STARTS SLAUGHTERING PEOPLE WITH HIS CONCRETE PILLAR.

Fuck Hercules, fuck Milo. Samson's the fucking alpha-male of them all.
>> Anonymous
hmmm...tell me more about this donkey.
>> Anonymous
Samson was the first suicide bomber
>> Anonymous
I came here to argue but after reading your post I got a boner

Samson truly is king of all the manly men
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
My favorite fictional character can beat up your favorite fictional character.
>> Anonymous
fail, image has no beard
>> Anonymous
Taking bets on how many posts will come in until someone makes a really butthurt remark
>> Anonymous
What kind of alpha male would take orders from this "god" character?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
brock samson can beat up regular samson quote this if ur down
>> Anonymous
>>53482
i hope you get b& again because really, I hate you.
>> Anonymous
Samson didnt exist faggot
>> Anonymous
What do you think Samson's exercise regimen was?

(just tryin to keep this kool thread relevant to /fit/)
>> Anonymous
>>53516
killing animals

destroying building

killing people with dead animals and rubble.

and of course SQUATZ
>> Anonymous
>>53482
What the hell are those gross lumps on his chest? They look like tumors xD
>> Anonymous
GOUGE AWAY
YOU CAN GOUGE AWAY
>> Anonymous
>>53537
stay all day
if you want to

oooh ooh
>> Anonymous
the source of samson's power was his hair, not his beard. his beard didnt grow back to allow him to destroy the temple, he asked god for one more burst of kill power and got it. fuck yeah old testament..
>> Anonymous
I swear to god one of my children will be named either brock or samson.
>> Anonymous
>>53482

ITT more Jew lies
>> Anonymous
IM SO GAR FOR SAMSON
>> Anonymous
>>53482
faggot samson was a jew, that makes him an ALEPH MALE, not alpha
>> Anonymous
>>54583
Hebrew humor? In my /fit/?
>> Anonymous
>>54590
its more likely than jew'd think
>> Anonymous
i have been in fact growing my beard out, and my pumps in the gym have been about 3x as explosive.

If i ever see a donkey, i will rip its jaw off for sure.
>> Anonymous
>>53485
Not only did he kill the donkey, but he killed the thousand Philistines with the donkey's fucking jaw.
>> Anonymous
I doubt I could tear the jaw off of a donkey, let alone kill a thousand men with it directly afterwards. Alpha-male of all alpha-males for sure.

I wonder what Lion-honey tastes like?

. . . what was the riddle?