File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Hey /fit/

How do I go about getting myself to fight crime on a daily basis?
Pic related
>> Anonymous
learn a practical martial art
learn to free run
learn urban exploration
learn to climb very fast
>> Anonymous
www.tonnesoffun.com
>> Anonymous
>>350355
Free run?

I'm sorry, I must admit im ignorant of that term.
>> Anonymous
>>350373

Free Running/Parkour are exercise/training regimens devoted to navigating urban landscape as quickly as possible.
>> Anonymous
>>350373
Parkour.

Learning to run and do crazy maneuvers on urban obstacles.

In other words: 1337ness.
>> Anonymous
Buy a gun.
>> Anonymous
>>350378
Britfag
>> Anonymous
>>350375

I think im a bit old to start that, i'm pushing 20
>> Anonymous
>>350397

Are you kidding?

....20 would be a great time to start.
(I'm trying not to rage here)
>> Anonymous
>>350398
Really?

Sorry, I'm new to any kind of physical fitness, i'm not fat, i'm just out of shape.

I was under the impression those people had been doing it from a very early age.
>> Anonymous
>>350402
Dude...at age 23 I decided to lose weight and went from above 300 to around 170 at age 24. I'm 25 now and my body can do pretty much anything I want it to.

Point is...it's never to late to start training and being in better shape. God damnit.
>> Anonymous
Since you're "too old" at the age of 20, here's what you do:

Live vicariously through your children. Pressure them into joining gymnastics at a young age and also force them to take Russian military unarmed/melee combat courses.

Then teach them how to fire a gun and make them run parkour-styled obstacle courses. Afterward, get your wife/their mother "mysteriously killed" by a man you hire so that the children feel a lust for vengeance and a hatred for the criminal workings of the world. Getting yourself killed wouldn't work, they would probably hate you for making them do all of this crap.
>> Anonymous
How exactly is parkour learned?

By oneself?
>> Anonymous
>>350466

Read up online, find a club that does it nearby, practice easy moves at first, go to France
>> Anonymous
Thanks /fit/

I suppose finding a mask etc will come later

I'll get to it!

Should I join a gym? Is muscle building incredibly important in close combat?
>> Anonymous
>>350480
Not in a street fight, within limits. Against an average guy you'll be fine.
>> Anonymous
>>350485

Experience is more important, but strength helps.
>> Anonymous
I'm more worried about knifes etc than anything they can do to me with their hands and feet.

Is there any art that practises disarming the opponent?
>> Anonymous
>>350496
bring your own weapons
>> Anonymous
>>350496

When knives are pulled and you're unarmed, you cross into the realm of fantasy vs. reality, where it sounds cool to knock a knife out of a guy's hand but you're much more likely to just get stabbed.

The best thing to do here is mace the guy and/or run.
>> Anonymous
Mace sounds like a good idea, I could spray the guy and then get the knife out of the picture.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>350507
>>350518
mace is a chick weapon, real men use asp batons
>> Anonymous
>>350734

ITT toughguy who still thinks there's any code or honor in combat and doesn't realize that you use whatever you can within a legal limit
>> Anonymous
>>350745

Though I do have to say those batons are pretty badass.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
1. Buy Spiderman Web-blaster
2. Fill with mace.
3. ???
4. Super Hero, or more realistically ASSHOLE!
>> Anonymous
>>350762
some one do this, and make your catch phrase "how i shot mace"
>> Anonymous
>>350378
/thread