File :-(, x, )
timbo timbo
SoCiAL SkiLLZ 101 NiGGAZ!!

u need 2 hit da club
it's like a meat factory, u advertise yo meat

u gotta learn da moves
and u then get da pussy
that's just da basics
u can just stand around with ur drink but u betta know how 2 talk and have mussle, i prefer to bust some moves up in some hoes if u kno what i mean son

basically u dry hump some hoes and get their phone numba

after that 's done u are golden my friend they will call u up 'n shit
(dance skillz is synonamous with yo rape skillzz @ da CLuB. if u can dance chicks know u can fucc ALSO))

Comment too long. Clickhereto view the full text.
>> Anonymous
cool story brah
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
STEP OFF SON I IS DA NIGGAHKING. MY MUCCEL BEATS YO DANSE MOVES ANYDEY

I DON EVWN GRAND DEM HOES AT DA CLUB

DEY JUS LINE UPP OUT MY JUNGLE KINGSDOM AN I SLAP EM WIT MA 20 INCH CACK
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> yo
     File :-(, x)
>>364571

iiT true i don seen it
>> Anonymous
>>364555
now were cooking with fire
>> Anonymous
yo TIMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

u gotta sho us sum of yo moves so we can get da pussy @ da cLuB
>> Anonymous
>>364555
oh lord
>> timbo timbo
     File :-(, x)
>>364602
sup man u can't handle the PReSSuRE?
If 4 any reason there is a loss in cabin pressure
I will automatically drop down 2 apply more
2 activate the flow of excitement

TIMBOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo~~!
a.k.a
TIMEBOMB
>> Anonymous
l2english
>> timbo timbo
     File :-(, x)
>>364619
man fuck you buddy how's THAT for good english????????
hahaaaaaaaaaa~!
i speak the language of LoVe.,
bodylanguage ya'll.
and ya'l oughtta recogniz that shit.


i bet u gets 2 the club and talks 2 all the bitches like "Excuse me, i find your vernacular to be appaling" and u wank off @ HoME

dude u need 2 man the fucc up and learn some dance moves

bitches don't want a lecture
they want someone 2 RiDE

cu @ da CLuB

TIMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(IMMA SNAP INTO BEAST MODE BEFORE U CAN SAY WTF???)
>> yo fiddy
yo timbo yo moves is wAcK-aTTak like dat muthafukkin' GAME bitch

quit spreadin yo lies or i use my MuSSeL to 187 ur ass
>> timbo timbo
     File :-(, x)
>>364624
stop immertatin my main nigga fiddy he's down with me and i'm in da mussle clan

you'se a fake nigga with a cop badge

TIMBOOOOOOOOOOOO[MuSSLe ClaN]
>> Anonymous
>>364627
i can has dance moves?
>> Anonymous
Sup Timbo, how have you been? As for myself, this weekend my club had a big rally, about 30+ vespas showed up over the weekend, I got drunk Friday night (started at Northern Lights brewery then went to Far West Billiards). Went to a wedding in the day, had some wine. That night we got together at a local winery and had a few bottles, then proceded to Far West again, where I got smashed on coctails. Got home about 3am, woke up at 7am still drunk. Went riding some more in the 105*F weather. Rode to Arbor Crest Winery and got drunk on wine and I smuggled in a couple bottles of Asahi in the helmet storage of my bike. It was a long drunk weekend.
>> Anonymous
>>364714
not last night, but I was waiting to have some pictures to post

spent two weeks in cartegena, in colombia, just got back earlier this week. did a week sales training for my local reps, and then tacked on a week vacation, brought my family down. really fantastic place - the only down side is cost of the flights. warm water, the biggest fortifications in the americas, great old city, great night life (as defined by a middle aged guy with 3 kids)


these are some pictures from a chiva - a sort of party bus, a bar on a truck, someting liek that. a truck made into a bus with a band and a bar, and you drive around with music and drink and stop at bars and places to dance in public. most of the people aren't tourists, either, with is pretty wild, and the local people sort of dance along when they see you pass by.

I visited Cartegena back in 1970 as a kid. Flew in from Bogata and stayed in a big hotel right on the beach. Two things I remember most are the heat/humidity (made me sick) and those amazing fortifications. Spent a few days there and then left on a small cruise ship for a trip through the canal. Wildly exotic for a young kid - I bet your son had a blast.
>> Anonymous
>>364739
Its about 3.30, just home. Fun enough night. Went and met friends for dinner at Black Cat....drank a couple of their cannonball concoctions (three different rums in there). Moved to Vascos, but was haunted by the ghosts of vaginas past for one of my friends, so fled for Cage. Fun there. Have a female DJ who is unreasonably hot. Slutty Russian student girl came on to me like crazy, jammed tongue into my mouth, then told me she had a boyfriend and ran off and gave my friend the same treatment. Came back to me, sat on my lap, so I pushed her off, much to the amusement of the boys as she fell flat on her ass on the floor. Back where she belonged.

Moved to the newly opened Ozone. Too packed, lots of sunglass-wearing overseas Vietnamese guys, along with a plethora of the girls that love them (for a fee). That said, there were some screamingly hot women there. Anyhow, didnt last long and moved to Lush.
>> Anonymous
>>364744
Friday evening had a client event at the Hyatt including Cirque du Soleil with former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien as keynote speaker. He was great (as were Cirque). Awesome giftbag that included an iPod as well as specially imported maple syrup. I am pretty sure no Vietnamese person has ever seen maple syrup before, so am kinda curious how many of them will go home to enjoy a nice glass of the cognac supplied :)

Client is great but can be a little scatterbrained, and evidently, despite inviting everyone to an after party at Q Bar, hadnt actually booked the venue...20 mins before the party commenced I made a crisis run over the road to Q. The owner is a mate, and was a little bemused by me checking on the set up for a private party of 150 people that he didnt know was happening.
>> Anonymous
>>364714
>>364739
>>364744
>>364748
inb4 belair or other faggotree
>> timbo timbo
     File :-(, x)
>>364748
respect

cu @ da club
>> Anonymous
I will teach you the basic attributes for a situation of public display.

You will be required to attend a venue that supports dancing and other forms of entertainment.

It is similar to a production plant of the flesh of animals used as food. You will call attention to your own flesh.

You must acquire knowledge of the dance steps.
After, you will attract the attention of ladies and their genital regions.
That is only the fundamental facts.
You can remain in a vertical upright position with your alcoholic beverage; however, you must have the knowledge of conversing and you must have contractile organs. I give preference to showing a few movements with some easy-going, attractive young ladies, if you understand the message that I am trying to convey, offspring of the male gender.

Simply put, you simulate sexual acts with the aforementioned young ladies and acquire the digits to the telephone that they may be reached.

When you have finished, you are aureate, my dear companion; they may use their telephone to contact you or something similar to that.
(Your knowledge of artistic movement has similar meaning to your knowledge of sexual acts without the consent of the other participant at the venue of dancing and other entertainment. If you have the skills to move in an artistic manner, women in a state of attractiveness are aware of your ability to perform well in explicit acts of a sexual nature))

However, if you are attending a large social gathering and there are those who are born of the desert-dwelling people of the Middle East,
the outlook is of a high percentage that the social gathering is pathetically lacking in force or effectiveness and is incapable of functioning usefully. The lone reason they are attending is to attempt to attain the women of a Caucasian descent while also attempting to avoid their own women.

And you will scuffle with those of an African descent.
>> Anonymous
>>364800

This young male approached me and he exclaimed, "Greetings, Timbo. Do you desire the woman that I have relations with? In the sub-conscious thoughts that occur during the R.E.M phase of sleep, I would place you in an area within a building enclosed by walls and floor and ceiling similar to the one in the popular "Saw" series. I would then apply enough heat to form a combustion reaction to the hair around your genitals, and after, I would allow you to request clemency, but I have no knowledge of clemency."


And I let out a loud scream.

Fortunately, I have acquired the knowledge of dance and they have not yet. They must retreat because I have a group of friends similar to me.

If you do not have the skills to perform artistic movements

You should A) Rest at your place of residence instead of visiting venues of dance and entertainment.
B) Have your life be terminated.

What thoughts do you have?
-Timbo

Post-Script: My companions have given me the nickname "Timbo"
This came as a result of me participating in one of popular Pop singer and dancer Justin Timberlake's films.
I was showing a few movements of the art of dance.
I am only saying this in the event that a person claims that I do not have the skills to dance.

Timbo
(For unity between nations, the distribution of advantages and disadvantages within a society, the political orientation of those who favor government by the people or by their elected representatives and the state prevailing during the absence of war )
>> timbo timbo
timbo goes in all fields
>> Anonymous
>>364622
I'm not your buddy, guy
>> Anonymous
>>364800
>>364801
if you wrote that yourself good work bro', if you used some internet site to make it then that sucks.

either way i lol'd a little.
>> Anonymous
>>364844

I ain't your guy, friend!
>> Anonymous
>>364739
Representin' Colombia ma NiGGaZ, Bucaramanga-Santander ftw! it's like the colombian Compton.
>> timbo timbo
     File :-(, x)
>>364800
>>364801
greetings my friend
today you have made valuable allies;
the mussle clan

and we wish to hire you as our translator/lobbyist 4 the non clubbin community

you are to translate all my topics 4 da HaTazz
see you @ da CLuB.

TIMBOOOOOOOOOO
representative of the mussle clan
rank 3 clubbin AMBaSSaDa

status: survived
mission: destroy
(for international solidarity, social justice, democracy and PEACE)

rejoice, children of the mussle movement.
and peace be with you
>> Timon
SoCiAl SkiLSs, SiMBa!!

u need 2 get back 2 pride rock
it's like hakuna matata, a wonderful phrase

u gotta learn it means no worries
and u then get da rock back
that's just da basics
u can just stand around with ur lil bird zazu but u betta know how 2 roar and have me n pumba, i prefer to bust some hyenas up if u kno what i mean son of mufasa

basically u got no worries for da rest of your days it's a problem free philosphy

after that 's done u'll have a golden mane my friend n that baboon will call u and ull see stuff in the stars
(seeing stuff in the stars is synonamous with bein king @ pride rock. i know u just cant wait to be king ALSO))

but if ure hanging out at a party where ur uncle is there
chances r good that it's a fucking lame and useless party & he is only there to try to steal nala while trying to get away from his own

and u will get in FiGHTZz with random hyenas

this hyena came up to me and he was like yo TIMOOOOOOOON u want my bugs?? in ur dream,s Pumba, i put you in a thorn bush and u get all prickly, and then i'll let you beg for mercy, but i dont know mercy

and i was like AAAAAAAAAAAAH

but i got da hakuna matata and they don't so they backed up cause i got Pumba n shit

if u can't have no worries

u should A)stay wit da hyenas
B) die

what do u think?
-timon
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>364907

oh ya here's a pic it's me n my boi
>> Anonymous
I ain't you FIREND, BUDDY
>> Anonymous
OP really gets no pussy. I actually club and get pussy every friday so fuck you
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>364937
bawwwwww
i can smell the butthurt
>> Anonymous
bump 4 immortality
>> timbo timbo
timbo
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
for timbo i would give my life and verginity
>> Anonymous
>>366022
My God! It's like TWO HAMS!
>> Anonymous
I don't like meeting girls in the club, beer goggles on, screaming drink orders over the music, girls yelling that horrible "wooooooooooo" slutbag siren, the American equivalent of the sand nigger "lalalalalalaieieieieieieie"

Dancing is fun but meeting random drunk hoes is not. It's empty and submental. I prefer meeting girls in bookstores, at the gym, art openings, coffee shops, etc.
>> Anonymous
>>366034
>>Dancing is fun but meeting random drunk hoes is not. It's empty and submental. I prefer meeting girls in bookstores, at the gym, art openings, coffee shops, etc.

man if u can't handle a easy enviromnent like da club u gonna wipeout @ da gym where hoes be wearin headphones, wtf u gonna do at the female book department, reading the cosmo?

clubbin is da basics if u skip that u can't handle shit
>> Anonymous
>>366052
you're not timbo, although I do see your point
>> Anonymous
>>366052

what about us who cant dance =(? enlighten us timbo, i don't think we are meant to die.
>> Justin Justin
aight heres my plan


i wanna meet a chick whos shy and cute, you know what i mean. but i also want me to be the only guy who ever gets to fuck her, but she also has to be able to take my big dick.

can i even find this girl at the club lol didnt think so
>> timbo timbo
     File :-(, x)
>>366071
if u can't dance u learn it nooob!! why wouldn't you? it gets u laid dawg and u don't need years of training >> u will feel comfortable/confident @ da club which is nr 1 place 2 go 2 meet young ppl (contrairyly to ppl that think World of WoW is this place)

after u get ur dancing shit fixed it helps if u have toned mussels and dress nicely and it helps if u enter the club with some female friends 2 boost ur rep (not if their fat tho)

bow down NiGGaz
check this shit out
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hobbies
check that list and if it gets u laid, do it or at least fake a interest in it

go forth and procreate
for international solidarity, social justice, democracy and PEACE


ask me anything, i'm bad to the timBONEEEEE

peace
TIMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(nr 1 stunna/TIMEBOMB/legend/lv 999999)
>> timbo timbo
>>366079
yo if u want a virgin u need to find a 16 year old
but u gotta be handy with the steel if y know what i mean u gotta find her on myspace or some shit

u gotta be able to predict how she gonna look @ age 20/21

in other words u gotta find a bitch with potential that's already good lookin @ 16 and have her on ure msn or somethn until she's 20 and good lookin
it's kinda like a investment

my nigga vince has hoes like that all the time keeping them refrigerated on his msn until they 20 and then he takes em out from da freezer and it's a wrap son!


true TiMBo $TORy

TIMBOOOOOOOOOOO
(PuSSY INVESTMENT PLANNa for U)

Would you like to know more
>> timbo timbo
ps for all the new NiGGAZ
my friends call me timbo
cause i was in one of justin timberlake's videos
bustin some moves
in case u wanna say i can't dance n shit
>> Justin
>>366092
yeah son tell me more

i mean im only 20, and da girls on my msn are all 20 already you know?

i wanna find a chick dats around my age that i dont hafta wait to fucc man, im down for the shit right now

but she has to be only with me and cute and tight and smooth and sexy, and enjoy getting high. where does i find dis chick?
>> Justin Justin
also i dun want no niggaz, i need a fly ass white girl
>> timbo timbo
>>366099
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hobbies
just do some shit off that list that ur remotlyinterested in
,join clubs/communities asociated with dat shit
or just do those things 2 boost ur rep so u can be like, yo, i play the drums, instead of, yo, i only eat chicken

invite the people u meet there for a drink and to go clubbin sometime

use condoms

good luck
P control
TIMBOOOOOOOO
>> timbo timbo
>>366099
u also gotta make a new msn son
one that u ain't online on 24/7 so the bitches see yu ain't doin nuttin

u need 1 msn fo ya homies
and 1 for ya hoes

u can't show ppl u ain't doin shit
u gotta be nr 1 son


go find a breakdance crew or dj school or somethin
learn da basics


TiMBOMATiC
>> Justin Justin
>>366105

what do i do if a chick cant take da dick, shes all square n shit.

or it hurts or somethin i need 2 know what 2 do man. i never been with a shy little white chick, u sound like u kno whats up with chicks you know?
>> Justin
>>366112

i cant have 2 msn man, i only got 1 computer.
i got facebook but when i comment on photos of ladies they all think im creepin.

how do i make a girl think dat i got a big ol hog without creepin on her you know?
>> Anonymous
www.mess.be has a multi msn patch (polygamy)
>> Anonymous
petition to make timbo a /fit/ moderator
>> Anonymous
>>366216
seconded, i'll sign
>> Anonymous
>>366216
/fit/ has mods?
>> Anonymous
>>366438
>>/fit/ has mods?
no but it has gods

bump for immortality