File :-(, x, )
The last time you were sick Anonymous
ITT we recount the in depth, TMI details of the last time we were sick. You're anonymous on the internet, so you no longer have to say "stomach ache" in place of "violent diarrhea".

As for me, it's today. I woke up with this:
Massive period blood flood + watery diarrhea + strong urge to vomit = DO NOT FUCKING WANT

I made it to the bathroom and everything, but boy do I feel disgusting now.
>> Anonymous
Last Friday, drank half a bottle of vodka including 8 fine german brewed beers, got to another friends house where we rolled the biggest joint ever, smoked it and then threw up in the toilet, left 5 minutes later, ran towards home (trying to keep fit in mind) puked up 3 times on way.
>> Anonymous
can't remember

last time i was sick is longer than 3 years ago
>> Anonymous
Drank 8-10 shots of vodka on last Friday night. Sat down and hugged a wastebasket for about an hour, puking continuously. Unfortunately, one of my notebooks for one of my classes had fallen in and was rendered completely disgusting.
>> Anonymous
I had a bit of a cold last week
since you asked the last time I was sick and not the worst.
>> Anonymous
had a box (400g+) of sugary chocolate snacks. got a headache (never get due to healthy diet), got tired (wasn't sleepy), "felt" sick in the stomach. it was an experiment. it was disgusting.
>> Anonymous
The last time i was sick i thought i was gonna die.
I think it was this,
Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome
http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/cvs/index.htm

I threw up every ten minutes for 12 hours.
the only thing that made me feel better was drinking water, and i'd throw up because of it.
>> moose
I don't get sick. Other than a congest nose, a sneeze or a cough from time to time.

However, there was this one time for some reason I was farting OIL. I thought I was just farting but in fact oil was coming out. And it smelled like hell.

It soaked through my pants and onto my couch, by the time I noticed there were a couple of spots.

I then spent a lot of time pooping out oil in the toilet, it did not feel good, at all. The oil floated, looked green-ish yellow-ish.

Did I mention that it smelled like hell?

Apparently I ate too much fatty stuff.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Dear Anonymous.
You're disgusting.
>> Anonymous
I had a cold. The cough lasted for two weeks so that kinda sucked. I also threw up a couple months ago after taking penicillin for a tooth.
>> Anonymous
lulz.
>> Anonymous
Back in November, must have got a stomach bug. Next day, high temp, shivering, nausea, vomitting. I couldnt eat anything because id throw it up. I couldnt even drink water, i'd throw that up too. Lasted for 7 days. and in those seven days, i managed to eat half a banana. that's it. and i was so dehydrated by the end. eeek.
>> Anonymous
I stayed over with my brother in china recently, we ate nothing but green chillies and beer for a whole weekend. the next morning my shit had the consistency of milk with meaty lumps in it, and the potency of hydrochloric acid, i did this ever 10 minutes or so for about 5 hourse. Goddamn it hurt so bad. I was walking bow legged for the rest of the week
>> Anonymous
>>80057
Haha, winner.
>> Anonymous
>>80007
You're disgusting too.
>> Anonymous
Oktoberfest 2007, after eating and drinking too much.

Was a reddsih colour with meaty texture. I lol'd.
>> Anonymous
RIP Too much vodka

Although if you're talking the last time I was actually sick it was when I was going through Ireland and Scotland. We had to wake up at 2am and book it to this bus stop and catch our super early flight, then get to where we were staying. I got sick and threw up. I think it was because of stress. I used to throw up monthly like clockwork K-5th grade. We think it was stress or anxiety. I dunno.

Other than those two things, I don't usually get sick.
>> Anonymous
Last time I was sick was when I accidently drank a mug of coffee with bleach.
>> Anonymous
Well, I am just coming over some fucked-up thing involving my lungs. It started with me feeling wheezy, then within a day escalated into a lot of pain in my chest and a horrific painful cough. After two days, I was coughing up yellow shit, sometimes with blood in it. On three occasions I coughed up what appeared to be a scab with phlegm attached. The second one of those times, I was in the university library and it hacked out on the table, causing the student I was tutoring to recoil in horror. She thought it was a joke, something I had placed in my mouth beforehand. I tried to go along, but she eventually realized that it really was a bloody chunk from deep within my chest. I don't think she'll be back.
>> Anonymous
wow what the fuck
this thread has made me realize I'm a hypchondriac
>> Anonymous
I had a cold last week. Gave me a sore throat and a stuff nose, it's mostly gone now.
>> Anonymous
>>81209
please don't be my friend here in Pittsburgh. I don't know what I'd do if I found out you were on 4chan.
>> Anonymous
I'm extremely sensitive to hormonal birthcontrol. I tried the Nuvaring (lowest dose possible of all birth control) and felt sick after putting in the second ring (Month 2, obviously)I sat there at dinner with my boyfriend and his parents, the first real outting we had with them... and I couldn't eat anything. I ran to the bathroom and threw up bile. I needed to take the ring out. BUT. I was also on my period. With a tampon in. If I take the ring out, the tampon goes too. Thus, BLOOD. EVERYWHERE. So I had to excuse myself from dinner while I went across the street to buy myself tampons.

We drove home and I puked as soon as I got there.

Then I ate raviolli. It was good.
>> Anonymous
I had an asthma attack recently. Believe it or not, asthma attacks, especially severe ones, have nothing to do with faces going red and wheezing.

I sat in front of the toilet for the next 5 hours throwing up mucus, and crying because I couldn't breathe and my lungs were on fire.
At some point in time, the mucus tries to crawl back into the throat, so I was trying to scrape out as much as I could with my fingers. Because it was so thick, I could actually wind the trail of slime around my hand and pull, much like one would with a rope.

Then my mother walked in to see me over a toilet with slime everywhere. In fact, my hand was cupped in such a way that it actually looked like I was scooping slime up from the toilet bowl to consume it.
>> Anonymous
christmas dinner, drunk about 5 different drinks.
spent the whole night feeling as if my stomach was twisted, then finally at around 6am i threw up until about mid day, then slept all day, then all night again.
>> Anonymous
Diarrhea, but it was mostly pure liquid. It actually felt quite nice. Made me think of Metal Gear Awesome. 'You know when you have diarrhea but it doesn't hurt when it comes out? So satisfying man.'
>> Anonymous
2 Decembers ago a friend was turning 21. Naturally, you go drink with your buddy. 15 shots of bailey's, jack daniel's 151, tequila and eggnog (maybe 5 of the eggnog. as I liked the stuff. cant stand it afterward lulz) and partied. Then things were a blur untill I regained conciousness over a 1' diameter bucket, 5" full of vomit.
>> Anonymous
went on a trip with some mates, ate a steak that was a bit too rare for me. paid for it with horrible vomit and shits the next day and probably the worst car ride of my life 8 hours.
>> Anonymous
It was a cheat day on my diet, and I'd been longing for chili really bad. I had lost 40 pounds and felt I deserved a really huge splurge at long last.

I went out to my local Dairy Queen, and I ended up eating four bowls of the disgusting oily gruel they pass off as chili, and I mean gruel in the worst possible way, because the low quality greasy sludge was apparently infected with food poisoning, too. Then I came home and went to bed in contentment and feeling satisfyingly naughty at my unhealthy binge.

I woke up suddenly, with my guts quivering and growling like a rabid pit-bull and my beleaguered sphincter muscles holding back a tide greater than the Three Gorges Dam. Ah, damn, I thought, I'm going to burst! So, I bolted from my bed and ran to the bathroom before my rear could explode with piping hot ass-soup delivered fresh from my burning anus. I had already taken my pants half-off in my frantic waddling run as I entered the bathroom--but I didn't reach the toilet in time.

With a reverberating explosion that made my ass cheeks flap wildly, a foul-smelling brown tsunami blasted violently down my hairy legs and spattered noisily on the tile floor. I stumbled and tripped in shock in the midst of my loping waddle, the awful feeling of the red-hot liquid on my thighs informing me of the failure of Operation Porcelain Salvation. I fell on the floor, butt thrust high into the air like a faggot and my horrified face deep into the bathroom mat, and then another scalding jet of ass-vomit arced high into the air from my upturned sphincter, traced a perfect parabolic trajectory, and smeared the bathroom wall behind me with my rear end's malodorous dark brown ichor ...
>> noko
... I couldn't stand. There was no strength left in my body at all while my aching rectum began pumping out watery geysers of ass-chunks, with ten-second respites, as if doing tabata intervals on steroids. So, I sat there as my body emptied itself. The sound of my intestines purging was similar to "Sshhrrtt! Sshhrt!" with the onset of each new torrential wave of putrid butt-sludge.

Realizing the mess being made of the bathroom, I tried to rise up, like a trooper, and complete my mission to reach the toilet. Then I realized my belly was swollen and feeling uncomfortable. I needed to belch to relieve the pressure inside.

As this point my mom (I live in her basement) came into the bathroom, and I belched just then, but something much more than burp came up. The other half of the four bowls of chili, complete with half-digested beans, erupted from my mouth as I turned my head toward her sudden entrance in surprise. She took it on the face like a bukkake porn-starlet taking a fifty-cock facial. At this point, reeling back in horror, my mom got scared. She said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air." So, I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror! If anything, I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it--Yo, homes, to Bel-air!"
>> Anonymous
I had a cold with diarrhea that looked like soggy scrambled eggs.
>> Anonymous
Multiple black widow bites on my back and legs.

From multiple mature black widows.

Spent most of it halfway in a coma, but before that I found just how empty my stomach can get when my vestibular perception wants it empty.
>> Anonymous
last time i was sick was almost 2 years ago, it was food poisening and i was throwing up every 10 minutes for 2 days straight, it was litterally just a mix of black and yellow bile, until i was prescribed muscle relaxants and antibiotics.
>> Anonymous
>>81494
>>81495

I fukken lol'd.

Adjectives DO make everything 100x more funny!
>> Exploding Van !!c7z5Ou47YRt
Do the effects of Hypovolemic Shock count?
>> Anonymous
Couple weeks ago, was riding with my friend through some country-ish roads, both of us plastered. Cops pull us over for going 67mph in a 30. Friend should have lost his license.

But around the time the cops were checking his info and asking him to leave the car, I opened my door and horfed everywhere. They asked me to get out as well, and I sat on a curb and continued horfing.

Let us off with a warning, probably because they didn't want to have to clean me off their backseat.
Also, friend was able to pretend sober for just long enough.
>> Guil
>>80005
Hahahahah! I had that when I was a kid. It was so odd. Running to the bathroom every 10 minutes, sometimes throwing up sometimes not. I even still went to school for some of it and was constantly leaving class. The shit you forget...

Anyway last time I was sick was Christmas 2006 I think, got sick from my nephew who had a cold when I went to visit.
>> Anonymous
>>81494
>>81495
since when does /fit/ have pro writers?
>> Anonymous
Had my wisdom teeth pulled. Came home and collapsed woozy on the floor, slept for 10 minutes. Woke up and vomitted. Few months ago.

But the true last time I was sick was a minor sore throat...