File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
How risky are call girls/escorts/prostitutes/strippers?

I really want sex. I'll save you the sob story. Just not good at flirting. I don't care to spend hours and hours and hours developing game. I probably could, but it would take me a year since I have absolutely no natural charm or wit. I'd have to memorize an obscene amount of movie quotes to use in the right situations. Basically, no girl advice wanted.

Is HIV/AIDS the only STD that will ruin your life? and i am under the impresion that it is basically a .25% chance with out a condom to get it from a girl. And virtually 0% with one.

How harmful are the other ones you can get with a rubber? And can you get anything bad from kissing/oral?
>> KC
>How risky are call girls/escorts/prostitutes/strippers?

For street prostitutes, make some shady friends in your city and ask around about the best places to go. Strip clubs are safe, for stripping, if you want sex from them, you'll have to ask around to find a safe club that does it. For call girls/escorts, I feel those are the safest. Learn the game first, like never mentioning money or sex, and asking just to set-up an appointment when you call. Lurk on these sites for a while, eros helps you pick the one you want, and theeroticreview is where people will rate their escorts. If you want to be safe, don't use an escort that doesn't have a review. There either new and suck, or its a sting by the police.
www.erosguide.com
www.theeroticreview.com

I don't know about craigslist anymore, I can never find adds for escorts anymore.
>> KC
lmao, people are trolling with my name already.
I have no clue on this one, I'd say do a little bit of looking up.
You could try scholar.google.com
>> KC
Lol. Two people are trolling with my name already. I dunno. I have sex with my mom.
>> Anonymous
Then tripfag it up you stupid fucking nigger.
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
Learn how to socialize, seriously, it's not that hard. And if that is really just that ridiculously difficult for you I would say go online and find a good escort in your area, and wear a condom.
>> Anonymous
>>97380
name and/or sauce on OP's pic plox
>> Anonymous
>>97403
for some people it is.USMC 12 years here. 8 even in Force Recon back before it switched over to MARSOC. Combat comes more naturally than socializing for me.

I bought probably 20 different prostitute girls. Never caught something. They make you use a condom. I either went down to Tijuana or used an online ad.
>> Anonymous
>Is HIV/AIDS the only STD that will ruin your life?

Hepatitis B will fuck you up
>> Anonymous
There are plenty of other STDs that'll ruin your life. Chances of catching any of them is pretty slim, but better avoided. Just learn to socialize, hit a bar and get some sex for the price of a few drinks.
>> Anonymous
Just sexing an escort one time isn't worth the risk IMO. Just be patient, you'll find sex soon enough, there are a LOT of girls out there with low a low self-esteem who aren't that hard to get into bed.
>> Anonymous
>>97409
Hasn't been tested, but still thinks he hasn't caught anything.
>> KC
>And can you get anything bad from kissing/oral

Oh yea, sex workers won't let you make out with them and they won't give you a blow job without a condom on.

And another thing, I have an escort I've been seeing for the past two years. Every time she comes into town, she gives ME a call, because I'm such a good customer. Anyways, I started seeing her when I was pretty chunky, but I decided to lose weight and get buffed up. Dropped 30 pounds of fat and added 10 pounds of muscle. When I walked into the room, her jaw literally dropped. She didn't think it was me at first, but then she went on for 5 minutes about how good I looked. Lol I turned a freaking escort on. Anyways, the sex was ten times better, she did things with her cunt muscles that I didn't know was possible And she even gave me an extra hour for free, seeing as she wasn't booked. All thanks to being proactive and getting in shape.
>> Anonymous
>>97413
lol. You think a bar slut is cleaner than a whore? They don't even use condoms. Whores do. Enjoy your aids.
>>97416
I get tested every month.
>> Anonymous
>she even gave me an extra hour for free, seeing as she wasn't booked. All thanks to being proactive and getting in shape

Wow! You've got it made!
>> KC
>>97421

I can't tell if that's sarcasm or not, but yes, I do have it made. I'm hoping next time she comes around I can get a repeat performance.
>> Anonymous
Even though this thread isn't about /fit/ness and barely about health, I find this to be the most useful thread ever posted here in /fit/.
>> Anonymous
Go for escorts.
Prettier, less clock-watch-ish, are tested often by their agencies, and more likely to enjoy what they do rather than the lady on the street who's ashamed but it trying to feed her kids/coke habit/wallet for rent.
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
Having to resort to paying someone to have sex with you is pathetic. Anyone that has any self respect for themselves would never go to a prostitute. Masturbating is free and it makes you less ridiculously disgusting, and if that isn't enough for you, go buy a pocket pussy.

I would never ever touch anyone that paid for sex and I doubt any other worth while girl would either.

Fucking 4chan.
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97452
Do your part and put out more.

And I just got hit in the head by my girl for typing that, but it's worth it.
>> Anonymous
>>97452

How do you defecate with an asshole that tight?
>> Anonymous
>>97452

I meet regular girls too, its not like I'm going all the time to the whore house. And you're also paying regular girls to fuck, if you're wondering what paying for dinner, clothes, and entertainment is. Its adds a level of excitement, and its cleaner this way emotionally, at least for me it is. And one of the cardinal rules of fucking prostitutes is that you NEVER tell anyone. It pretty much ruins your reputation forever, even if you tell one of your boys. You never know who's sloshing an escort on the weekends, you'd be surprised.
>> Anonymous
>>97452
Shouldn't you be in the kitchen or ironing something?
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97459
If thinking that paying for sex is sad and pathetic makes me uptight then I'm completely fine with that.

>>97460
I pay for dinner, rent, clothes, entertainment equally to my boyfriend so I guess my perception is skewed. I don't think dating should be about one person paying for everything so that the other one will have sex with them. I guess I'm just boring as well as uptight.
>> KC !!KydeY7G+xZY
>>97478
I'm glad there's at least a few sweet people here
>> Anonymous
>>97480
>>97478

You both haven't lived long enough.
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97483
I'm pretty sure my mom would think paying for sex is sad and pathetic too and she's in her fifties.
>> Anonymous
All women are vapid liars that never acknowledge their own flaws besides physical ones. Prove me wrong.
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97488
because your mom gets all moralisticly superior about a personal amoral decision (not immoral... amoral... learn 2 english if you don't know the difference)
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97478
There's events out there called 'one-night stands', and evidently you haven't worked any.
>> Anonymous
>>97498
you sir are correct
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97500

Morals are relative. It's quite an immoral thing to do in traditional western society.

You know, values held dear by our priests, politicians, and entrepeneurs, the pillars of society.
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97498
I'm very unorganized and I procrastinate all the time. I'm very stubborn and I like to argue.
>> Anonymous
>>97504

>Morals are relative. It's quite an immoral thing to do in traditional western society.

You know, values held dear by chrisfags

fix'd
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97507
I'm an atheist and I still think it's pathetic. Try harder.
>> KC
Some prostitution is wrong, like when a girl from a third world country is sold to be a prostitute/slave. They usually become street-walkers, but the pretty ones become escorts. But the escorts that I deal with usually have a choice. Most are college girls trying to pay off student loans or women that just like having sex, so they figured they might as well get paid to do it. I know it sounds like I'm trying to justify what I do, but fuck, I don't care, its goddamn amazing. Everyone should support their local escorts.
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97504
let me be a dick and make a semi-word-by-word refutation:

>Morals are relative.
moral relativism is a dangerous path.

>It's quite an immoral thing to do in traditional western society.
>traditional western society
any research on this? or are you pulling shit from your arse?

>You know
rhetorically, this is a shitty clause, it assumes that you are right before any evidence is given

>values held dear by our
awkward wording

>priests
sorry to break it to you, but there isn't any god... I give these people credence based on their actions... not the fact that they represent something that doesn't exist

>politicians
you mean the fuckers that tell you what you want to hear so they can get more personal power/higher salary?

>entrepeneurs
I know quite a few... none of them have knocked prostitution, or called it a problem

>the pillars of society
society has no "pillars" beyond the common beliefs of its current members

and yes I hope for a reply
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97512
that's your personal opinion... simply because you think resorting to prostitution for sex makes someone somehow generally more inferior, doesn't make prostitution morally wrong
>> Anonymous
Nothing is right or wrong. Prove me wrong.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
wow, a whore thread...

so my friend (srsly), who has a sweet two bedroom apartment, an established degree'd and licensed profession, and has been doing the atkins diet and exercising regularly, my friend has been using escorts for a few years now. initially he called ads in the local weekly at random, getting a variety of women to come by (incall) with mixed results. sometimes he got so drunk they took his money and walked out. i'm amazed he never get stabbed. he got a tranny once (by mistake he says) but no sex occurred. eventually he settled on this one escort and became a regular. this was all while he had a girlfriend who expected oral but wouldn't blow him. the gf and him are both functioning alcoholics. anyhow, he has had this regular whore for quite a while now. the whore even outlasted the gf. he broke up with her about two months ago.

so here's the thing: he hasn't had sex with the whore in over a year. wtf. she comes over, they crack opens some beers, he's usually already ahead, and they listen to old country or bluegrass music and talk. and he pays for that. i think she used to give him naked full-body massages and then suck him off, but not in a long while. it's almost like she is a "girlfriend" but he still shells out cash for her to come by. fuck, i was over a couple days ago drinking with him and he tried to hit my broke ass up for some whore money. basic human need for... something.

i wish i could finish this up with some "reese's it's what's for breakfast!" for some other punchline but it is just some sad reality. oh not wait i got one. this is real cougar.
>> Anonymous
>>97512
It is pathetic...but you can only fail so many times at something before you start to think that maybe its time to just try something a little different.
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97524
I never said it was morally wrong. I said it was sad and pathetic and I stand by that because those are my personal beliefs.
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97527
depressing... that man needs to find something to do with his life/time/etc
>> KC
>>97527

I hope I never become like that guy. And for that girl in the pic, that does make me feel sad, knowing that some girls never get out and turn to drugs.
>> Anonymous
>>97478

I think that berating someone on 4chan about being sad and pathetic is a little sad and pathetic. I DID just divide by zero. eat my ass.
>> Anonymous
Paying for it is pathetic? it's no different then any other profession.

Can't fix your car? Don't want to bother learning? You're fucking pathetic if you take it to a mechanic.

Want a custom designed house? Not a fucking architect and cant do it yourself? Well go fucking get a degree or you're pathetic.

Want your kitchen remodeled but you don't know how to make cabinets? If you hire a carpenter to do it for you, you're fucking pathetic.

None of these are actually seen this way. But, take a guy who cant get sex. He can't get it for the life of him. And he wants a quality looking girl. So he pays.

How is that any different than someone paying for a quality custom cabinet? or a paint job on their car?

Pull your head out of your pretentious cunt play.
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97520

If you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic. I'll put in the subtext.

>Morals are relative. It's quite an immoral thing to do in traditional western society, as opposed to ancient Babylonian worship of the goddess Ishtar, whose priestesses were sacred prostitutes of the highest social status.

>values held dear by our priests (molesters), politicians (corrupt self-serving charlatans), and entrepeneurs (destroying society to enrich themselves), the pillars of society (*cough*).
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97529
You could try a new approach, you could go to new places, you could do a lot of different things. Seriously, if you asked out 100 women in your range, I'm willing to bet money that at least 1 of them would have sex with you.
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97543
well-played, good sir.... it appears I've been unintentionally trolled
>> Anonymous
> Most are college girls trying to pay off student loan
> Most are college girls
> Most
LOLOLOLOL
>> Anonymous
>>97546

not everyone wants someone in their range. for some people, their real range is say, scoring with a chick who rates 1-3, or 2-4, when what they really want is a 9-10.

paying for a 9-10, getting a 9-10, is analagous to paying for a nice kitchen when you could only build a shitty one. the other guy is right. you're a dumb cunt. (or a fun troll)
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97546
I've tried this... asked literally 150 girls at my college campus if they'd be interested in having sex... got EXACTLY 0 yes responses... had a girl who is a friend of mine and who we agree is less attractive as a female than I am as a male to do the same thing to guys... she stopped after trying 15 times and getting 14 yes responses
>> Anonymous
Any else notice that all of Wyclef Jean's songs are bout strippers and prostitutes?
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97550
what? ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! LEARN IT!
>> Anonymous
Armyfag here. Capitan. Well retired now.

I buy escorts all the time. I have plenty of cash. It's easier than dealing with women's petty little games and having dick size contests with guys in bars. And the escorts are hotter and cleaner. It's better than having a girlfriend because, no drama, no stress, she leaves when you want her to.

Not even ugly either. I just don't like "the hunt".
>> Anonymous
There are over 6 billion people in the world, each with their own aspirations, dilemmas, delusions, realities and beliefs. Nothing makes you different from any other of this 6 billion, as in the end, you'll all die and be forgotten. No one gives a shit about you, they're just acting as such because it lets them believe they're a good person. Religion only exists because without the hope that it provides, people would just cave in as the reality of existence hits them.

Likewise, no one in this thread gives a shit about OP or other people who hire prostitutes, they're just here so they can express their vapid opinions for the sake of being heard. Once again I emphasize: no one gives a shit. You're all fucking stupid.

The above applies to this post.
>> Anonymous
>>97543
> politicians (corrupt self-serving charlatans),
dont forget that they also hire call girls
>> Anonymous
>>97558

Got that off your chest? Great, now shut the fuck up.
>> Anonymous
>>97562
no u, butthurt faggot
>> Anonymous
Jesus even fucked hookers. It's common for guys who don't want to deal with shit. Jesus already had enough on his mind. He needed some stress free sex.

America is the only shitty country it's illegal in. Im moving to Australia after college because it's 1/2 the price, and they are tested weekly. I like surfing too so Ausfailia is perfect. Fuck hookers and go surfing after work all day.
>> Anonymous
>>97556
sorry i made it too obscure
> Most will say they are are college girls trying to pay off student loan
fixed

oldest feelgood lie in the profession; works like magic on johns
>> Anonymous
>>97567
>Jesus even fucked hookers. It's common for guys who don't want to deal with shit. Jesus already had enough on his mind. He needed some stress free sex.

This is true.
>> Anonymous
>>97563

Looks like somebody's feewings are hurt. And I didn't whine in an entire paragraph. Are you going to type another? I'll go get some popcorn if you are.
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97569
you think johns aren't going to fuck them if they don't say that?

by the time that is said, the fucking is already just about gauranteed
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97572

There's an entire book series about Jesus getting a kid off Mary Magdelene. Kushiel's something or other.
>> Anonymous
Lol, is there any Jesus didn't do? Oh yea, except exist.
>> Anonymous
>>97554
you just walked up to them and asked?
>> Anonymous
>>97573
Quit whining no one wants to hear it
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97542
Sex is different then getting your car painted. If you can't see the difference between these things then fuck it, there is no point.

>>97554
interested in having sex vs. interested on going on a date.

Notice the slight difference in wording.

>>97552
And if you really want that, then go for it but it's not a new kitchen and in my opinion it does make you pathetic.
And can't I be both?
Fun dumb troll cunt has a nice ring to it.
>> Anonymous
>>97582

Waah, cry moar
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97581
did it for the lulz, good anon... did it for the lulz (made sure I was in sound legal territory beforehand though)
>> Anonymous
Play, damn you. He specifically said no girls allowed in this thread. Tits or GTFO, woman. Sandwiches, etc. This is ridiculous.

Look, escorts are more fun, because even a slut is there because she is a person with feelings, however shattered her self-esteem may be. The whore is a bought object, and deserves to be fucked hard like an object. That's why she's the best lay. QED.
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97585
And we come across the differencd between men and women right here:

>Sex is different then getting your car painted.

If any guy ever says anything resembling this, they are gay or lying through their teeth.
>> Anonymous
>>97588
Stop crying
>> Anonymous
>>97585
There is no difference. Sex is an act. Painting a car is an act. Both are professions. Stop idolizing your cunt. Sex is not special.

Going on a date with 100 women until one fucks you? Do you know how many hours that would take? You could spend a few hours at work and get an escort twice as hot as any girl in your league with much less effort.

So it's okay to fucking fail at having a skill such as craftsmanship, since you suck at it. But it's not okay to fail at seduction, since you have no idea what it's like since you're a woman and can get sex any time you want.
>> Anonymous
>>97596

Type another paragraph, I really want to know your position about how the world works.
>> Anonymous
>>Stop idolizing your cunt.

ahahahahahaha
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97592
I gave my man advice here>>97403.
Then I decided to cause a shit storm.

>>97593
Is having a good conversation the same as buying a coffee? Is hugging someone the same as buying a t-shirt?
>> Anonymous
>>97542
It's all fucking relative, you get nice things because you want people to look at you like "Wow, he's fucking awesome, and has so much nice shit"

The same applies to a fucking girl, at a minimum, 80% of it does, if not, your a faggot and a liar.
>> Joel
I can tell you from personal experience don't do it. The biggest mistake I ever made was messing round with an escort. I thought it was a good idea for me to call one when I had the house all to myself after my parents left for vacation one time. The first couple of days they were away, I was living it up. Blasting music as loud as I wanted to, raiding my parent's liquor cabinet, rolling around town in my dad's Porsche 928 ... you name it. Well, eventually my friends thought it would be funny for an escort to come over to my house, and I told them not to do it - they did it anyway. BUT this isn't the bad part although, in retrospect, it's pretty funny. Anyway, the escort they called over to my house wasn't even a woman, but a huge black dude dressed in women's clothes named "Jackie". I kindly told Jackie to leave, but before he did, he gave me the contact for another escort, and this one, unlike him, was actually a woman. He even said that she was a fucking blonde bombshell - the type of chick every fucking horny, red blooded American teenager wants to bang the fuck out of. At first, I wasn't sure if I really wanted to call her, but I eventually decided that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see if what Jackie had said was really true. Oh, he also gave me her name too: "Lana". So, late at night, I finally called Lana, and when I heard her voice, I thought she sounded pretty fucking hot. But, as you all are aware, I'm sure, even fat chicks can SOUND hot. So, the following day, she comes over at around evening time as we had agreed on. And when I finally saw her, I couldn't believe it: She was everything that transvestite had said - like those chicks you see the movie and dream about. She was fucking incredible. ... And so was the sex. It was undoubtedly, and absolutely the most mindblowing sex I've ever had in my life. I must have been the luckiest guy on Earth that night. Just unbelievable.
>> Anonymous
>>97604
lol so easily trolled
>> Joel
... So afterward, she sleep's in with me, and the next day she tells me I owe her 300 bucks. No problem. I got it covered. Now, this is where things really start to fuck up. Being the complete dumbass I was, I told her to stay in the house while I went to the bank to go get the money. When I got back to the house with money hand, I notice she's gone. And so is my mother's most prized possession: A crystal egg about the size of an ostrich egg that she paid a looooooooot of money for. So, yeah. I was fucking pissed off; if I didn't get that egg back my parents would kill me needless to say. Luckily, I managed to get in touch with Lana through the black transvestite dude, Jackie. Well, I meet up with Lana at a restaurant, and then I offer her a ride. So, were out driving along, asking Lana where the fuck my mom's crystal egg is at - LA LA LA - and then a car rolls up right beside mine, I look over, and oh, hey, there's a fucking gun pointed right at me! I thought it was just some low-life thug trying to carjack my ass at first, but after I fucking floored it, this fucker comes right after me! I mean, I had to pull some fucking James Bond shit to lose him. OBVIOUSLY, I got away or I wouldn't be typing this right now.
>> Anonymous
>>97609
depends on how you view people.
For some yes.
For me no.
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97611
i fail to see any negatives in this story
>> Anonymous
>>97610
I fuck a girl for personal pleasure. I do not care about my friends seeing how hot a girlfriend I have. I would rather pay for sex than have a relationship. It is too much work for too many negatives and too few positives..
>> Anonymous
>>97613

No, not trolled, its called taunting a faggot.
>> Anonymous
>>97604
Isn't that the whole point of this thread?
>> Hammerknife !YnV/wUlHaQ
Disregard everthing I say, because I'm a gigantic faggot. also I'm a chink.
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97615
still no real negatives... though i have a feeling there's onother segment
>> Anonymous
>>97619
yes trolled, and i'm doing it again. I'm here for no reason other than to make you look like a jackass, and my win accumulates with every butthurt retort.
>> Anonymous
>>97625

trolled
>> Anonymous
>>97628
trolled
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
this thread has degraded into something far more awesome than the OP ever intended
>> Anonymous
>>97625

Lol you're getting trollan'd royally.
>> Anonymous
>>97625
>>97628
>>97629
Oh My God someone B& these faggots.
>> Anonymous
>>97615
ITT: James Bond surfs /fit/
>> Anonymous
>>97631
trolled
>> Anonymous
>>97622
YOU FAIL MAN THATS A FUCKING MOVIE BY TOM CRUISE
IS CALLED RISKY BUSINESS
>> Anonymous
>>97618
Agreed sir, but pasty fat businessmen cannot say the same.
>> Anonymous
What is this thread even about anymore
>> Anonymous
you're putting the pussy on a pedestal.
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97638
Trolls trolling trolls.
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97638
dicks, assholes, and pussies
>> Anonymous
I hate women. Thats why I use prostitutes. So I can perpetuate their slavery to the cock.
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97621

There's tripfaggotry, which is faggotry enough.

Then there's trying to take someone elses tripfaggotry and make it your own, which would probably be even more faggot-y.
>> Anonymous
>>97641
And you are either a feminist or a machist not sure.
>> Anonymous
>>97638
life
>> Anonymous
>>97611
>>97615
Hey Joel, I mean...Tom Cruise.
>> Anonymous
just so u guys know

im in the same situation of op but im too pussy to call a escort or try to get a gf and fuck her.

she has to give the first step :S
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>97643

Jesus Christ! Did somebody say sex slave?
>> Hammerknife !YnV/wUlHaQ
I'm the real Hammerknife

>>97645

is an imposter.
>> Hammerknife !itkDPUBpS6
NO I'M THE REAL HAMMERKNIFE
>> Anonymous
i have sex with impressionable 15 year old girls.
>> xrkfrm !O4ZEpB7lss
>>97655
NO! *I* AM SPARTACUS
>> Anonymous
>>97657
BOTH THE REAL AND THE FAKE SUCK COCKS AND ARE FAGGOTS THERE IS NO REAL DIFFERENCE ANYWAYS
>> Anonymous
I love crushing girls' feelings after fucking them. Can't do that with a hooker.
>> Anonymous
>>97651
You sir, will not ever get laid like that, you have to make the move, that shows confidence. That anon, is the first step to getting LAID!
>> Joel
I later find out from Lana that the dude who pulled on a gun on, and then proceeded to chase me was HER FUCKING ASSHOLE PIMP "Guido". And fucking "Guido" has my mom's egg. I don't know what to do at this point. So, I mull over my predictament during the day while I'm in school, and Lana's staying over at my parent's house. Well, I don't know what the fuck Lana was thinking, but when I came home that day, she had a "friend" with her: Another escort. Lana tells me she's only staying for a little while - ok, no big deal. Anyway, Lana comes up with this grand idea to make enough money so that I can "buy" back my mom's egg from her pimp, Guido: Basically, a hooker party where she invites her "people" over, and I invite my friends over. Bad fucking idea. I've already lost my mom's egg, I'm not going to have a fucking wrecked house on top of that. But if I had knew what was going to happen with the next 24 hours or so, I would have known that a house trashed by a wild party would have been the least of my worries. My friends, Lana's friends, Lana, and myself are hanging out by a lake. I can't remember what exactly I said to Lana, but apparently, I had pissed her off, and that set off a chain reaction in which my dad's Porchse ended up in the fucking lake. Fortunately, I manage to get it out the lake and into a repair shop. Well, on top of that, I'm fucking up royally in school; I've been asbent more than I should have been, and if I can't get the school registrar to mark my abscences as "unexcused", I fail two fucking midterms. Well, they don't agree to label them as such, I fucking blow up at that point, and they respond with two fucking weeks' worth of detention AND I get kicked out of a prestigious club.
>> Anonymous
>>97634
trolled
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97661

Hah, that's probably true anyway.
>> Anonymous
>>97663
;_; i still got hope that it will happen
>> Anonymous
>>97669
Only if you're extremely good looking and you act extremely nice.

But you aren't good looking and you're probably a bastard inside, so bad luck.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
what if someone is genuinely unattractive and uninteresting and has nothing to offer a woman, you really expect that they'll just go out and pick someone up for casual sex, and they haven't thus far just because of a lack of trying?

prostitution has been a long time, and its not going anywhere.

(i've never done it but the appeal is obvious)
>> Hammerknife !Ep8pui8Vw2
>>97667
I'm the real hammerknife. I'm also a huge faggot that loves sucking asian cock
>> Anonymous
>>97670
>>97669
I don't mean to troll here but yeah, if you look like shit it will be a lot harder. Don't let your fucking complexion alone discourage you, just work out, gain muscle, try to get a six pack, whatever.

As for being nice, that isn't it at all, it's more like perfecting a combination between nice, and being assertive, which some fags may be called being a dick.

inB4 GTFO DOUCHE
>> Hammerknife !8a.AapkhGM
>>97674
No you're not. Hammerknife loves sucking big black cock, which I do like doing.
>> Anonymous
>>97663
Taken that first step several times. It brought no results.
>> Anonymous
>>97671
Yeah that's where prostitutes come into play, but for the majority of people out there, there is hope.

And seriously, stop dressing like a faggot too, just wear normal shit.
>> Anonymous
>>97552
lol that is so sad. If I see another fat fucker telling their gf to lose weight while they suck a whole pig down it'll be too soon.
>> Anonymous
Girls will never offer you sex. Just pay. Even if you're ripped, they still won't just offer sex.

And they'll find you boring if they try to talk to you, and you're shy.

Shy guys = pay
>> Hammerknife !YnV/wUlHaQ
GODDAMN IT, I DON'T SUCK COCKS, I'M A POWER BOTTOM.
>> Anonymous
>>97676
Goddammit, first trolls, now Hammerknives. Fuck.
>> Anonymous
>>97678
Your eating shit on the second step then.

I'm no fucking know it all, but basically you just have to keep trying, realize that every girl isn't going to like you, and not be afraid to fail.

Also, most girls are fucking stupid anyways, they'll fuck anything that they think is "Hot" at a young age. 20sfag here
>> Anonymous
>>97682
If your ripped and can't talk, well no shit that's your own fault. l2speak.
>> Anonymous
>>97680
>>97686
THE ANSWER IS CHINBEARD
>> Anonymous
NIGGERS

NIGGERSNIGGERS
NIGGERSNIGGERSNIGGERSNIGGERSNIGGERSNIGGERS
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
sauce on op's pic NAO
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97685

I consider it a triumph of trolling when people start taking my name.

Next to the 500 post troll trophy I got when I posted 3 pics of my girlfriend (clothed) then posted a rapidshit of granny porn.
>> Anonymous
>>97686
JUST BE THE FUCKING ALPHA MALE LIKE THE GUY OF THE COPYPASTA
>> Anonymous
>>97696
or you could be a dickhead. that works too.
>> Anonymous
>>97696
It's not copypasta, but i'm sure it's been repeated a million times, take a hint.
>> Anonymous
You just have to realise it's a numbers game. If you only ask a couple of girls out per year, you'll end up lonely and miserable. BUT if you ask out as many girls as you can (within reason), you're guaranteed to strike it lucky. Unless you about it like a gigantic faggot. Which you probably are/will.
>> Anonymous
>>97700
Not a dickhead, just let them know you are relatively interested in sex, I do this by bringing it up sometimes and seeing how they react, then just movies, etc, kiss, bed, bone. ajajajaja
>> Anonymous
>>97554
It's time's like this that I'm glad I have an abnormally low sex drive. Guy's get the raw end of the deal with NEEDING sex. While a lot (but of course not all) girls just enjoy doing it every once in a while.
>> Anonymous
>>97703
In my personal experience girls like guys who dont put attention to them( i havent get laid yet)
but there was this one time when i stopped liking girls i was with the mentality of fap is better etc..
and it seemed like girls looked at me
maybe is just me imaginating stuff thought :S
>> Anonymous
>>97707
lol testosterone is low
>> Anonymous
>>97695
Well done, you're the best troll in the history of 4chan. Your prize shall be...oh wait, you haven't actually achieved anything, so you win nothing you failure.
>> Hammerknife !YnV/wUlHaQ
>>97695
what i was trying to say is that i'm a ronery chink ;_;
>> Anonymous
OP's pic looks shooped in the breast-region.
>> Joel
At this point, I'm fucking stressed out of my mind, so I tell Lana that the whore party is a go-go-go. It was a great fucking idea too. I made a ton of cash - more than I could have possibly imagined. Only one minor problem occurred though: I had forgotten that an interviewer from Princeton (YES, PRINCETON AS IN THE ONE OF, IF NOT THE, MOST TOP-RATED FUCKING PRIVATE IVY LEAGUE UNIVERSITIES IN AMERICA) was scheduled to interview me at the SAME FUCKING TIME OF THE BROTHEL PARTY. So, he arrives, and see's my friends and a buncha call girls running around, he's not impressed - not with the party nor my resume, aaaand the interview goes to utter shit basically. And then, later on, the party's still in effect, and I get a call from my parents telling me they'll be home the next fucking day. So, now I've only got about 24 hours to get my mom's egg back from Guido the fucking Goomba Pimp. And to top that off, it only gets fucking worse. The party went better than I expected, but the next day, when I woke up, my house WAS FUCKING BARE. ENTIRE AREAS OF MY HOUSE COMPLETELY WHIPED OUT - NOT EVEN A FUCKING STRAND OF HAIR WAS PRESENT. YEAH, I TOLD YOU IT ONLY GOT WORSE. And guess what? Lana's gone - AGAIN. So, I'm fucking disillusioned beyond belief, and I try to call Lana. Know who answers? Fucking Guido the Gabbagoo. Moreover, this fucker robbed me blind: Took my mom's egg, and then gutted my house. Not only that, he has the audicity to offer to "sell" back everything he stole from me.
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97712
Making people angry makes me happy. You know, in the pants.
>> Hammerknife !itkDPUBpS6
>>97716
too bad i have small asian penis though right?
>> Anonymous
>>97709
Obviously don't be a 12 year old fag like "look at me! look at me!"

But don't be a "...." I aint saying shitfag either.
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97720

I'm not denying it.
>> Anonymous
>>97380
That is correct. Girl with high estrogen levels.
>> Hammerknife !YnV/wUlHaQ
holy shit, i hang around 4chan for excessive ammounts of time and i think i'm hot shit! i totally trolled you noobs. shit was SO CASH.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I'll dispel some myths for you guys. Armyfag that posted earlier.

Women don't like guys who don't pay attention to them. They will think you're uninterested. Women will not approach you often, if ever unless you are very attractive. And even then, they will barely make an effort. They expect you to carry on the conversation.

I'm fairy attractive, excuse me i sound douche-ish. Little sisters friends would hit on me. And strippers. That's about it. Save rarities. In bars they expect you to go to them. I did it a few times but they generally don't fuck good, and I don't like dealing with drunk assholes trying to prove their dick is bigger to a random slut. Women won't come up and randomly approach you.

Most girls I've fucked were strippers after work. And escorts. A few normal girls but honestly, I'd rather pay and get better sex and less drama. I don't like the challenge of seduction. I guess some guys do but I'd rather do something else than sit around talking.
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
     File :-(, x)
>>97730

Shit was SO CASH
>> Anonymous
>>97732
Well said armyfag, I thought homeboy was implying that girls liked guys who were attentionfaggots.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
BUCKET MOTHER FUCKER DO YOU HAS IT!?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>97380
>> Anonymous
>>97732
i've been approached by a woman in a bar before, and i'm a fat slob. she even bought me a drink, and she was probably a 7/10

and i've got a friend (girl) who approaches guys in bars all the time
>> Anonymous
>>97380
>>97732

In the end it's obvious that you should have balance. Don't be totally aloof because they will think you're disinterested. On the flip side don't act like it's all about the girl because it'll come off as an obvious pathetic attempt.

If you want sex express casual charisma that isn't pressuring. Show it's just for fun, and they'll have fun too.

You'd be surprised how many good things can come from being natural and above all learning to RELAX. If you love it let it go / the best things come to you when you're not actively seeking them out. All quite true and solid words to live by.
>> Anonymous
>>97746
This is the exception, not the rule.
>> KC !!KydeY7G+xZY
>>97747
Pure +1
>> Hammerknife !jqrgzABArM
I AM REAL HAMMERKNIFE
SON OF A BITCH FAKE HAMMERKNIFE
DO YOU WANT A ORANGE JUICE?
DO YOU WANT A HOT GAY SEX?
FAKE HAMMERKNIFE IS PIG DISGUSTING
PLAY IS A TRIPFAGGING TROLL
MOTHERFUCKING /FIT/
>> Anonymous
>>97747

wise anon is wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97747
I thought that was kind of obvious, but I guess this is 4chan.
>> Hammerknife !YnV/wUlHaQ
>>97756
eat a bag of dicks
>> Joel
     File :-(, x)
So, my fucking parents should be home in a few hours, and the bottom half of the house is one fucking giant void. I tell Guido I'll do it. Later, he pulls up with one those furniture moving trucks loaded with everything that was taken from my parent's house. I buy back everything. Luckily, my friends help me put all of the shit back in the house just the way it was before it was stolen - yes even my mom's egg - and all before my parents get home. So, my parents arrive home, and they think everything's just the way they left it except one fucking thing. My mom tells me that there's a crack in her egg, and I'm like "Get the fuck outta here. lol" But she wasn't joking, so I'm shitting bricks, but I manage to play it cool, and act like I don't know what the fuck she's talking about. And finally, my dad comes up to me with this fucking serious look at my face. Right away, I'm thinking he must know about the Princeton interview - the one I fucked up majorly. You'll never believe what he fucking said to me: The interviewer told him that only was he extremely impressed with me, I was fucking accepted into Princeton.

Well, as you can see, a lot of bad shit happened to me all because of one lousy night with an escort. But in retrospect, everything managed to work out in the end. Know why? BECAUSE I HAD REESE'S FOR BREAKFAST YIPPYYYYY!!!!1~LHFHDSODG&GFSYBAJ
HASATSJADAAIUQas ITZ NOT CANDYYYYYYYY AUYDLTRALDTADGS
asfasfa ^_________________________^ asfasfjaysfg sdfhgsdfdhdfhdfhfoas8fytasf9wegfhwefGVAwsf
sdvwbndiv7wev6ygh978-4g[pgfh32gfhn3tg234tg ::::::::)))))))))))))))))))))))DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97759
Mm tasty.
>> Anonymous
>>97761
Not funny unless it's in an MS Paint Relationship context.
>> Anonymous
>>97766
Just fucking post your pic already
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97769
So that everyone can call me an ugly fat vapid camwhore?
>> Hammerknife !YnV/wUlHaQ
>>97766
tits or gtfo
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97774
/b/ is that way.
<<<<
>> Anonymous
>>97761
max lulz has been had
>> Anonymous
I seriously don't understand why americans are so uptight about this. I just go to the brothel, choose a girl i like, pay 20 euros and get a condom blowjob-doggy-missionary-riding and i go. Sure, if some paki left the room before me, well, i'm not touching that, but usually it's people like me, who look somewhat decent but years of not socialising due to parents/work have stripped them of the knowledge to go and pick bar sluts or whatever.

In fact, a girl in a bar started hugging and kissing me in a bar once, and i ignored her because i KNEW she was an escort. Why pay 200 when i can pay 20.

tl;dr Stick to your whale girlfriend you found on the convention, i'll go bang a hot russian chick.
>> Hammerknife !YnV/wUlHaQ
>>97777
see yourself to it and post tits.
>> Anonymous
Maybe I'm just dense, but I never understood the special stigma attached to prostitution. OH NO, PEOPLE SELLING SEX FOR MONEY.
-----------
>>97732

Oh lawd, is dat sum GWoT Expeditionary Medal Ribbon I see? Just a guess, I can't really tell from the picture. Nice ribbon rack, by the way.
>> Anonymous
>>97771

You'd be special. Fit needs a chan. Besides, I already caked my keyboard with semen to the picture you posted in that lame progression thread. Unspeakable things have already been imagined in regard to you.
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
>>97783
I just did.
See if you can find them. :)
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>97787

No, /fit/ does not need a chan.
>> Hammerknife !jqrgzABArM
>>97787

I'm man enough to satisfy all of /fit/ with my hot hungry anus. Don't waste time on that stinky vagina, it's bad for you. Meowr, play, meowr...
>> Hammerknife !itkDPUBpS6
>>97796
I'm the real hammerknife, and i approve this message
>> Joel
     File :-(, x)
>>97767
>> Anonymous
>>97809
no one was even paying attention to this
>> Eliot Spitzer
     File :-(, x)
>>97380
How risky are they? Moar than u know. lulz
>> Anonymous
BLAHBLAHBLAH GIMME OP SAUCE NAO!
>> Anonymous
>>97829
its misa campo
>> Anonymous
>>97380
she looks like rachael ray if she had a hueg rack
>> Anonymous
>>97842
Do you know who rachael ray is?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>97853
no, no idea. i pulled the name from my ass.
>> Anonymous
>>97853
Man, Rachel Ray's husband, " John M. Cusimano", is a fucking douche. I was watching a program on television about Rachel Ray, and this MORAN said in an interview segment on the program that he is the, and I quote, "luckiest stomach on Earth." What a smug, and undeserving dickhead.
>> Anonymous
that broad has epic mams
>> play !3rZQiXcf5A
     File :-(, x)
>>97831
Misa Campo has smaller tits.
>> Anonymous
>>97878
>luckiest stomach on Earth

..?
>> Anonymous
>>97903
it's Misa Campos sister, Misa Campo.
>> Anonymous
As a female I'd rather my husband have slept with a reputable call girl than a Country Bob's regular. The average bar whore is not only pock marked, fat and an alcoholic, but infested with everything from scabies, crabs and a raging yeast infections to Hep C, HSV2, and HIV. At least an escort has standards as far as sexual safety is concerned and most aren't bad looking either. There's nothing pathetic about it, you're just substituting one hassle and worry for another. With a date you have to wine and dine them, risk emotional attachment and risk long term pain and suffering at the hands of a crazy bitch. All without the guarantee of sex. With a call girl you have to worry about the occasional STD.

Personally OP I prefer masturbation (I enjoy my alone time) but if you need to be with a woman once in a while than by all means call an escort girl. I wouldn't go for anything less.
>> Anonymous
>>97912
gb2/kitchen
>> sauce on OP's pic Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
chick in OP's pic goes by "karma good" on bangbros.com

http://www.bangbros.com/t1/pps=bangbrosinfo/models/Karma-Good.html
>> Anonymous
>>97996
I love you, anonymous
>> Anonymous
>>98007

The last three posts of this pic are the only thing good in this thread.
>> Anonymous
>>97996
THANks
>> Anonymous
rapidshit of vids?
>> Anonymous
that girl looks a lot better in their pics than in the video
>> Anonymous
>>98489

Good photographer, I guess.
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>98491

>Good shoop, I guess.

Fixed
>> Anonymous
>>98493

Now that you mention it, yeah. I see the pixels on her right tit. Your left.
>> Anonymous
are you guys that oblivious? look at the distortion on her freaking arms
>> Anonymous
>>98514
>arms

Yeah, you see, I was just staring at the cleavage. Give me a break, here.
>> Anonymous
Those breasts are real. I did the masturbation test and came perfectly.
>> Anonymous
Whore threads are always the best.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>98514
Indeed.
>> Anonymous
I approve of this thread
>> Anonymous
for those who wanted sum rapidshit of karma

Part 1
http://rapidshare.com/files/105269372/btra2854-1.wmv.html

Part 2
http://rapidshare.com/files/105268840/btra2854-2.wmv.html

Part 3
http://rapidshare.com/files/105272086/btra2854-3.wmv.html

Part 4
http://rapidshare.com/files/105275973/btra2854-4.wmv.html

its one video, 45 mins long

credit goes to "maranello" @ http://forum.phun.org/showthread.php?t=249510
>> Anonymous
I approve of this rapidshit.