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Constipation Anonymous
I suffer from some sort chronic constipation.

Strangelly enough, it doesn't make me discomfortable. The problem is I haven't taken a dump in 5 fakkin days, and I feel bloated. This happened to me twice already during the past weeks, but when the time comes, the amount is incredibly small, and I feel like 3/4 of i remained inside.

How do I "purge" my descending colon?

inb4 laxatives or "Nature's Platform" (I always use it)
>> Anonymous
Eat some fiber, I thought it was pretty obvious.
>> Anonymous
I do, my diet is healthy, in all aspects. I usually handle my problem just fine, but for some reason I've been having trouble with it the last month.

I need something more radical, to do some sort of "intestinal reset" and get back to my normal cycles.
>> Anonymous
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>discomfortable
>> Anonymous
so... ideas?
>> Anonymous
I really need to go HHHHNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG

and crap out an elephant-size brick
>> Shawn Eater !DboU7yuujg
What I did was drink a lot of tea. It has anti-oxidants which help remove toxins from your system which can pile up in that shit hole of yours. Also I drank metamucil and recently I've been on a high fiber diet. I hate when you have a stool that's at the very bottom and you can feel it but it won't pass through until you've eaten something else.
>> Anonymous
>>422112

would red tea work?

and what about a fiber overdose? it's crossed my mind...

random pile of fruit smashed to a pulp and gulped down like crazy (no bananas though)

would that work?
>> Shawn Eater !DboU7yuujg
>>422118
Give metamucil a shot.

>>and what about a fiber overdose? it's crossed my mind...

What.
>> Anonymous
>>422128

by fiber "overdose" I meant ingesting a fuckton of fiber really fast
>> Anonymous
>>422128

will try metamucil
>> Anonymous
quick fix ->enema
in general good food practices -> oatmeal, high fiber cereal, spinach/leafy greens and grapefruit are all good at helping you move.
>> Anonymous
>>422161

how do I pull a self-enema??
>> Shawn Eater !DboU7yuujg
>>422174
Don't worry about it, take the metamucil it works. I've taken it my whole life.
>> Anonymous
>>422176

I will, I was just curious :P

a self enema requires too much preparation, and I lead a busy life

ok, I'm off to get the metamucil
>> Anonymous
>>422176

btw, do I get it from a pharmacy or a herb shop?
>> Anonymous
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1. Take "Nature's Bounty" Ground Flax Seed. A spoonful or two every day will keep you regular.

2. Take 10 grams of vitamin C. If you can find a health food store that has powdered vitamin C, that's about two spoonfuls. Otherwise take the 10 grams in C tablets. That sounds like a lot but the only side effect of too much vitamin C is loose bowels.
>> Anonymous
>>422189

tried seeds a few months ago, doesn't cut it for me

vitamin C overdose? lol

good Idea, but will only try if metamucil fails (which I doubt will happen, from what I've read about it)
>> Anonymous
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>>422184
Look at the ingredients of Metamucil:
Psyllium Husk, Gelatin, Polysorbate 80, Caramel Color, Red 40 Lake, Blue 1 Lake, Yellow 6 Lake

Go with the flax seed:
INGREDIENT: Organic Cold-MIlled Flax Seeds.
http://www.naturesbounty.com/vf/labels/010260NB.pdf
>> Anonymous
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>>422191
Hmmm, was it a lot of flax? Either way, drink lots of water when you take your laxative of choice. Hell, starting drinking a lot of water right now to prepare your self.
>> Anonymous
>>422193

dude, I've told you, I've tried Flax seeds
(they're called "sementes de linhaça" in my country) and the effect wasn't strong enough
>> Anonymous
but seriously, metamucil: pharmacy or herb store?
>> Anonymous
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>>422196
I think you should go with the vitamin C.
Problem solved.
/thread
>> Anonymous
>>422201
Go to pharmacy and ask for fiber supplement.
>> Shawn Eater !DboU7yuujg
>>422187
Pulix. It's just a fiber supplement.
>> Anonymous
drink a couple cups of coffee
>> Anonymous
>>422213
In his country they call it "cafe".
>> Anonymous
phoned pharmacy

they have it

I'm off

(thanks for the help :D)
>> Anonymous
>>422214

actually it's "café"

XD

cya guys
>> Anonymous
I'm surprised prune juice hasn't been mentioned yet. I hear it's good against constipation.
>> Anonymous
heroine. the moment it wears off youll shit like no tomorrow
>> Anonymous
One way to self enema is if you have a shower head on a hose that you can move around. Set it to a milk massage mode and just press it tightly against your anus. The water will shoot in to your body. Hold it there for maybe 5-7 seconds and then wait a few minutes. You'll have to poop soon.
>> Anonymous
>>422614

Mild massage mode*
>> Anonymous
>>422055
Buy douche and squirt it up your ass. Sounds disgusting, but it is hygenic (goes in the cooter anyway) has an applicator that fits in the ass nicely, and lubes up your poops.

Be careful with other people's ideas of squirting water in your ass, too much can cause problems.

Prune juice, fiber supplements (Metamucil), and drinking metric fucktons of water always helps.