File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Subconjunctival hemorrhage. Shit's awesome. Chicks dig it, right?

Yeah, that's a kitten calender behind me.
>> Anonymous
>>193168
Holy shit that looks badass.
>> Anonymous
Causes

* Minor eye trauma
* Spontaneously with increased venous pressure

* Strenuous Exercising
* Coughing
* Touching/widening eyes
* Sneezing
* Pulling extreme g-forces
* Vomiting, particularly forced vomiting as seen in bulimia nervosa
* Choking
* Straining
* Severe alcohol intoxication, leading to raised blood pressure

>Pulling extreme g-forces

fuck yea
>> Anonymous
>Pulling extreme g-forces

Oh shit, that's so what I'm going with.
>> Anonymous
you hit on some other guy's boyfriend, didn't you?
>> Anonymous
Sweet Jesus....

where the fuck did you get that calender?
>> Anonymous
That's an awesome calendar.
>> Anonymous
No

No we don't. I saw a customer with that at work today, though. and got to contemplating how badass it would be if people naturally had red eyeballs.

However, one white eye and one disturbingly traumatized eye is creepy. Good luck clearing that up.
>> Anonymous
>>193192
If both his eyes were like that you'd be all over him like poor on a nigger though amirite?
>> Anonymous
>>193168
I know several people who would pay good money to look that awesome for a night. get some black go to a goth/rock club and be the most awesome guy there.
>> Anonymous
>>193192
IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND YOU KNEW THAT MAN WAS A TRIED AND TRUE WARRIOR, FIT TO PASS ON HIS GENES. YOU SECRETLY WISHED FOR HIM TO GRAB YOU BY THE HAIR, BEND YOU OVER THE COUNTER, AND FORCIBLY IMPREGNATE YOU.
>> PetBot
What the fuck happened?!
>> Anonymous
>>193193
Well yeah. That'd be a pretty fucking awesome story.

"I fucked a guy with red eyes. It was creepy shit. We bought red lightbulbs and everything. I had to close my eyes when he looked at me lest I shit myself from fear"
>> Anonymous
>>193197
I wanted to buy him an eye patch. For his normal eye.
>> Anonymous
Did no one else forget to mention OP is aneckbeard?
>> Anonymous
>>193168

I approve of this thread.

Did you confront some other hessian over what metal bands are radder? Or were you just unaware and caught a baseball with AIDS in the face?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>193186
Christmas present

>>193192
Bullshit you don't. You lie to yourself, all the bitches love it, specially the meek ones.

>>193196
Unfortunately I had to go through several nights looking like <<< that for it to start looking this awesome.

>>193208
Yeah... it's summer, I get lazy wit tha shaving.
>> Anonymous
>>193430
Do I see a fuckin neckbeard?

You need to shave. NOW
>> Anonymous
>>193430
How did you actually get it?

I burst a shit ton of blood vessels around my eyes when I got a little too drunk for my own good, ended up looking like Morgan Freeman though, no red eye...
>> Anonymous
he got punched what do you morons think. anyway lose the face fat and neck beard then go kill yourself
>> midnight express !FzAyW.Rdbg
!DARTS!
>> Anonymous
>>193462

Why don't you kill yourself you fucking faggot?

No one wants to hear your ignorance or sob story.
>> Anonymous
>>193430

Yeah I'm kind of hot for red eyes. Walk up to someone with your eyes closed and then just flash them open real wide. It would be fun.
Also buy an eyepatch for the other eye.
Dude you could have so much fun with that.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
You are this guy.

He's called a bearded vulture. See, he's just like you.
>> Anonymous
>>193539
That is an awesome bird...
>> Anonymous
I got Zidaned by some high school kid. We started playing dirty after that and fucked their shit up.
>> Anonymous
my friend had that happen to him from throwing up too hard
>> Anonymous
Wasn't this an episode of Cowboy Bebop?
>> Anonymous
Ugly man is ugly.
>> Anonymous
>>193711
lol i liek yew