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How is Mario so athletic? Anonymous
Mario has done every sport, can jump really high, and rescues a princess frequently...yet he still is overweight.

He's fitter than all of us.
>> Anonymous
all that fucking pasta, man

sonic's no better w/ his chili dogs
>> Anonymous
Pasta doesn't make you athletic. There must be some other secret.
>> Anonymous
He's one athletic fucker--he's only overweight because he chooses to live a poor nutrition-less lifestyle that is 90% cake princess peach prepares, 5% mushrooms, and 5% luigi's cock.
>> Anonymous
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That's why I eats spinach numnumnum
>> Anonymous
>>237455

But, Popeye, we know you're injecting your arms with steroids.
>> Anonymous
>How is Mario so athletic?

He's a cartoon. Derp.

/thread
>> Anonymous
>>237477
synthol*
>> Anonymous
how does one go about increasing their vertical jump height?
>> Anonymous
As someone with heug calves, I can safely tell you it isn't about the calves.
>> Anonymous
>>237482
Stupid person just got trolled. You need to read between the lines.
>> Anonymous
>>237477

Atleast it's better than getting off on some shrooms then getting on some mysterious flower that looks like opium. He also gets on green coca leaves and chases after a moving star that sheds powders as he chases it, which makes him invincible for a second before it wears off. Mysterious powder that makes him fast and invincible....that sounds like crack to me.

Tl;dr Mario is on shrooms + opium + coke (in leaf form) + crack
>> Anonymous
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>>237518

Don't blame drugs on this; you're just jealous of Mario's fitness.