File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
So I'm a 19 year old male. Been uh... "trying" to have sex with my (new) girlfriend, however unfortunately for me I cannot seem to get an decent enough erection.

If i'm by myself masturbating i can generally get a decent boner, however when I'm with my girlfriend I can barely manage to get halfway.

Neither of us have had actual intercourse before (i've done pretty much everything but).

What the hell should I do? We've tried 3 times in the last few days but nothing has changed.
>> Anonymous
stop masturbating.
>> JohnD !A.I6YFjyO2
it's nerves. You're worried about living up to an expectation of some sort that probably doesn't exist.

Try adding some kind of porn in with your attempts. Make sure she's lubed up, and take it slow (assuming you're both virgins).

also, foreplay is awesome.
>> Anonymous
admit defeat
>> Anonymous
>>6443
Anxiety is a powerful impotence agent. It could be something as simple as not getting yourself to calm down, and getting overexcited about what's happening. Subconsciously, you may just not be ready. Take things slow, keep calm, and if things happen, great, if they don't, they don't.

Signed,
Anonymous, M.D.
>> Anonymous
fucking do a fair amount of foreplay. It will get you hard and her wet.

Or, if your gf is dogshit(which is probably the case) turn off the lights and imagine something else on your cock besides her stinky crotch...like your rosy palm.
>> Anonymous
OP here.

Any tips for "calming down" or kicking the anxiety?

The first time, we tried as far as I can tell i wasn't worried, anxious or stressing or anything like that until it got to the point where i actually needed to be erect, then I started worrying etc. the second time it was on my mind but i did keep myself calm and "in the mood" but again, when it came to crunch time i couldn't stop getting worked up about it.

Each time we've made out and had quite a lengthy "foreplay" but each time i've failed to "rise to the occasion". She get's quite wet however i'm never more than half erect.>>6449


She isn't "dogshit" and i'm very attracted to her. I can pretty much get and keep an erection just thinking about her naked etc...

>>6449

i lol'd irl
>> Hammerknife !7ITukp3Pj2
>>6482

Give her a long massage. Make the room dark, put up some candles. Have her make little moans and noises.

Fixes it in a jiffy.
>> Anonymous
>>6443
See a doctor.
>> Anonymous
she needs to pick up the slack, get her to suck the damn dick, jesus I hate womens who lay there like dead fish
>> Anonymous
>>6443
foreplay is awesome.
>> Anonymous
not op
i suck at getting it up while laying down on back

any help for me
>> Anonymous
Cock ring.
>> Anonymous
i also feel judged by women ; ;
___
>> Anonymous
OP here...

How does one get over performance anxiety. It seems like a vicious circle...
>> Anonymous
OP get viagra its there for a reason, your just nervous, this will go away after some time.
>> Anonymous
>>7161

drink a "little" alcohol to get relaxed, breath slow and deep, concentrate your mind on dirty dirty things, some people have to learn it, the first time i had sex iwas so horny it was over after 10 seconds, she didnt like it very much but i did, just relax and ease up, you are not a porn star just a human beeing
>> Anonymous
masturbate normally in your room and get her to surprise sex you.
>> Anonymous
Nerves kill me often, and I've been with the same girl for almost three years. Take a shot or two, or have a few drinks, and you'll notice that you "hang" a little heavier, since the part of your brain sending your penis a message to relocate to your abdomen until further notice tends to relax when you've had a few drinks. Rubbing the easy one out doesn't help when your nerves are keeping you limp.
>> Somewhat !rK4K86e49M
Just ignore her feelings and do it for yourself
>> Anonymous
do a 69. works wonders.
>> Anonymous
lol I read about this shit in my sexual psychology class last semester. YOU HAVE SITUATIONAL MALE ERECTILE DISORDER. The main cause of this is performance anxiety. So loosen up because worrying about it can lead to more failures and just make things worse creating a vicious circle (a boner-free one).

You shouldn't overreact to these problems. Treat them as normal, try and have a good time when you engage in sexual activity and forget about it. Have a laugh about mr.limpy or something.
>> Anonymous
>>7212

Also the treatment section says something about having the woman tease you to erection and then letting it subside. Which is supposed to relieve anxiety about keeping an erection going.

But I would save that for later. Like others have said, try to create a mood. Try having fun without planning to really have penetration. Oral, manual, massage, whatever situation that doesn't require you to have a boner. Forget about it, have a little fun and sooner or later you're dick will be ready to face its destiny.
>> Anonymous
Hang on, she has given you oral/handjob previously, correct? Was the erection there at that point? Since you're obviously foreplaying, (Is that the right phrase?) does she give you an erection until "Go-Time," so to speak? Or nothing at all?
>> Anonymous
Talk to your girlfriend about your anxiety. When you see that she doesn't judge you for it and still cares about you and wants to do you, you'll probably calm down.

Also, this probably goes without saying but when you have trouble getting it up, don't get frustrated and call it quits -- try to get her off anyway.

Best case scenario: you get turned on watching her enjoy herself and can do her.
Worst case scenario: your girlfriend has an orgasm and loves you more.

Or>>7171sounds pretty good.
>> Anonymous
OP Again

>>7269

Just a handjob, not sure if she'd be up for oral (yet).

>>7298

That's pretty much what I've done all 3 times. I get pretty disheartened but generally still pleasure her.
>> Anonymous
Foreplay always helps. Don't force yourself and enjoy the kissing/hugging/feeling - once you are comfortable doing this with your girl, eventually things will lead to sex. If your foreplay works well, you can expect that she will want it as much as you.

All niiiight loooong....oh yeah!

~Dr. Anonymous
>> Anonymous
Stop fapping to /d/
Admit to yourself that you're gay. It's alright, no one's going to judge you.
>> Sagey McSage !!eD0t5z8K1OY
>>6446
it's probably just this. Once you reach the age of 20 or so your libido really drops and you need to stop masturbating every day. go a few days without masturbating, then try to have sex. be amazed at the results.
>> Anonymous
I had the same problem, OP. The first time we tried having sex, i just couldn't get it up. The next couple of times i could, but i couldn't reach orgasm and ended up going soft.

I can't explain what happened differently, but after a while of just playing and experimenting and trying, things just clicked.

Worrying about things not working now certainly doesn't help; just try and forget about it. Enjoy yourself, screw around, work on getting an erection and maintaining it with no trouble. When the time comes to move on to sex, the best you can do is try.
>> Anonymous
>>6482
ALCOHOL
>> Anonymous
>>7381
yeah, man, you probably have the Gay
>> Anonymous
I had the same problem. Just take it slow and fool around with her, don't think primarily about the sex. When you get a boner and she is wet, PROFIT!
>> Anonymous
Good advice,>>8013.

Now where the hell did all these nice anonymous come from?
>> Anonymous
>>7391
I'm 24 and fap it with strong healthy boners like 10 times week. Sometimes twice in the span of a few hours.

OP has a case of nerves. Get naked, start making out, grinding, all that shit, apply condom. If boner goes dry, return to making out, fingering, etc until boner returns. Make sure condom still afixed probably. Insert into vagina.
>> Anonymous
watch a porn movie together and start fondling.
>> Lil Dreamer !3GqYIJ3Obs!!FIK
smoke some weed. get a stoner boner.
>> eBookGuy
Yeah the minute you keep forcing it is the minute you achieve fail. It's going to be pressure you're putting on yourself because you want to be good and in the meantime you've made your own expectations XBOX HUEG. Take your time over things, keep fooling around and relax more into the situation and try not to over-think things.