File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
SUP /FIT/

I'm 18, and long story short, I'm a fat nigger (not literally a nigger, thank god), I'm 5"10, 310Ibs.

Up until this point I've basically led a complete sedimentary life, eating all the wrong foods, and spending all my time playing video games and fapping to internet porn.

But just the other day I picked up a recumbent exercise bike, it has a distance calculator, heart rate monitor, speedo, etc and all that good shit.

Basically as I have a lot of time on my hands, I'm planning on spending at least 4 hours or maybe more, per day on this mother fucker, I don't exactly have an excuse not to right now.

But can /fit/ help me out with a diet plan that I will follow to the letter vigorously?

I'm thinking something fairly low in calories (around 1500, you think that's too low?), but sufficient in all nutrients, protein, carbohydrate or whatever else my body requires so I won't keel over dead.

Help would be appreciated /fit/.
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>> Anonymous
OATZ SQUATZ HIIT
>> Anonymous
>>418906
/thread.
>> Anonymous
>>418905
ofc u have a small penis. ur 300 pounds, ur gonna have so much fat down there it makes it shorter, lose weight and it will look a lot bigger.
>> Anonymous
>>418905
>complete sedimentary life

While you work out you could read a dictionary, too.
>> Anonymous
>>418911
Oh, awesome, we have Mr. Dictionary himself lurking /fit/ now.
>> Anonymous
>I'm a fat nigger (not literally a nigger, thank god)

Fatass has to be racist to make himself feel better?
>> Anonymous
>>418915
Not really, it's just that the way I look at things being fat and being a nigger, are both extremely negative things, but it's just that being a fat fuck, I can change over time, but being a nigger you're stuck like that for life (unless your name's Michael Jackson).
>> Anonymous
OP here, stop fucking hijacking my thread anway.

I need dietary advice.
>> Anonymous
hey op, you are pretty fucking fat, but i think 1500 cals are too low, i'd tell you to stick around 2000cals, and keep it low carb, high fat & protein (you are allowed one cheat day a week to refill on carbs)

Also i would recommend using the bike for at least an hour in the morning before you eat, drink some coffee before that will get you in the gear(play some hardcore music too), also if you aren't sweating then you are failing

also op get some fish oil, cod liver oil and a multivitamin

i'd also recommend taking up weightlifting

but op, good luck
>> Anonymous
>>418905
>>418905
i've had worse....
>> Anonymous
>>418928
Thanks for the advice.

But do you have any idea on what more specifically to eat?

As you see, I'm pretty fucking clueless when it comes to this stuff.
>> Anonymous
>>418929
>>418929
>>418929
OP here, well that's more than I can say, I haven't had anything :(
>> Anonymous
>>418910
Hopefully, I suppose that's more motivation to lose weight.
>> Anonymous
oatmeal
eggs
walnuts
almonds
chicken
turkey
cottage cheese
fruits/vegetables
>> Anonymous
>>418938
Every day? How much of? In what order? :S
>> Anonymous
>>418940

wow bro, you're totally stupid?
>> Anonymous
>>418940
learn which foods supply protein/fat/carbs
try to incorporate all 3 into every meal
however,
eat more carbs in the morning (and post-workout), and very little or none late in the evening
>> Anonymous
>>418946
Ok, but am I still supposed to be counting calories while doing this?
>> Redhot !wJoMC4BYEY
>>418905

Dear fatman.

First i would suggest a multivit, and fatty acid tablet. (one for each).
Second i would suggest learning about foods and their different nutritional propertise.
Third i would remind you not to starve yourself as your body will cling onto your fat like that little bit of shit that wont leave your asscrack. Eat lots of nice meals frequently making sure the calories are low.
To start with i would suggest 2000-2500 calories as it is good to shock the body but not in this way. As you progress you can adjust your diet and frolloc in the meadows like a butterfly/centaur crossbread.

Goodday.

Oh, also monitor your process as success, breads success.
>> Redhot !wJoMC4BYEY
>>418950

I am fully aware i just said bread. Instead of breed.

Goodday.
>> Anonymous
>>418951
yo dude, are you aware you just said breads success?
>> Anonymous
You should eat 1200 calories a day, lots of bread, rice, vegetables. Cut out all the fat.

Run as much as your fat, chafing thighs will allow you. Then run some more piggy.
>> Anonymous
Do South Beach if you're looking to do a low carb plan, it's pretty sound and there are a billion websites dedicated to EXACTLY how you should be eating.
Except for the unlimited portions. I'm not a fan of that, as it's good to learn some self control and balance.
Also, sign up for a calorie counting website. Log EVERY GODDAMN THING you put in your mouth. No exceptions. And a lot of them have forums that will give you some good basic knowledge for weight loss.
>> Anonymous
crossfit.com
>> Anonymous
OP is that you in the pic?
>> Anonymous
>>418928
why low carb and high fat?
I understand about the protein.
>> Anonymous
>>418978
Fats= good fats= monounsaturated, like fish, nuts, avocados, EVOO, etc. They're good for your heart and keep you satiated, but avoid the saturated kind. Don't eat a stick of butter.
Low carb because it gives fast results and stabilizes blood sugar. They tend to retain water, too, so you'll see that weight drop off pretty quickly. Not Atkins low, though, because that will just make you miserable. Aim for somewhere around a 40/35/25 ratio of protein, fats and carbs.
>> Anonymous
>>418985
my bad.... I had already started thinking of good fats (nuts, avocados, olive oil, fish etc) not as fats at all. fats have a negative connotation to me. thanks for your reply. and my thinking is why I was shocked at all the fats in my diet when I did an online nutrition thing of my normal meals.
>> Anonymous
>>418950
Ok, I actually fucking lol'd.

Thanks for the advice though.
>> Anonymous
>>418976
No, it isn't.