File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
i have a really big problem. i can't seem to get over it. about 5 years ago i dated a guy i was in love with online. we met irl and we nearly had sex.

im very self conscious because im overweight. when i got scared to have sex, he was mad at me and made the rest of the 4 days really hard, always referring to how i wasn't as good as he thought i was.

before i left, he told me that he hated my body and that i was ugly. ever since then, i haven't been able to get really intimate without feeling the relationship will end. it's really hard and i know it's not healthy but...like...when a guy brings up sex the only thing i can think of is:

him laughing at me, calling me names and ending the relationship. how can i feel better? is it possible?
>> Anonymous
ack :/
>> Anonymous
You have two options. Third would be an hero but I'm feeling nice.
1. See a therapist.
2. Get in shape, become self confidant.
>> Anonymous
start running, tubby
>> Anonymous
a therapist is not an option, took expensive. i highly doubt that getting in shape is just going to make my paranoia go away.
>> Anonymous
>>137226
an hero or fucking try one.
>> Anonymous
im not saying i wouldn't try to lose weight. im saying that i doubt me losing weight is going to give me a boost of confidence.
>> Anonymous
>>137226
Being in shape, you wouldn't have a thing in the world to worry about. There aren't any other options, no one here can tell you what to do if you're not willing to listen. Once you get in shape you won't feel bad about your body and you don't have to worry about someone not liking you.
If you don't want to do that, then you just have to be happy with what you have and move the fuck on. Live your life and have fun.
>> Anonymous
>>137233
You're worried about someone not liking you because you're overweight. If you get in shape, you're not overweight. Um, hello?
>> Anonymous
Feeling better isn't as important as growing as a person. I think it's important we all experience set back as a motivation to further ourselves and to help others as we have helped ourselves.

You obviously are unhappy about the way you look and feel. If you are over-weight, you can exercise to lose the weight. If you are clinically depressed, there are options to help yourself there, too. Depends on what specifically you want to do.

Guys are assholes but only by becoming independent will you get over him. Just please, for the sake of your own soul, don't base your everyday happiness on a guy.

If you've never exercised seriously before, try it. It's a great experience.

>i highly doubt that getting in shape is just going to make my paranoia go away.

already you've shot down an option. There is no magical solution- it is up to you. Fuck you if you're some "My life is fucked and I'm the only one who is so hurt" whiny little cunt.

We can only point you in the right direction, and seeing this is the Health and Fitness board, exercise is an obvious direction.
>> Anonymous
there are billions of girls that are all over the world who are thin, beautiful and all that.

they still think they look bad, aren't good enough or whatever. im just worried. :/
>> Anonymous
getting in shape is good for you physically and mentally. do it and stop whining until you have.

>>i highly doubt that getting in shape is just going to make my paranoia go away.
Actually, it will.
>> Anonymous
As a matter of fact, you may never get over him. I haven't gotten over things that happened to me three years ago, but I've moved on a person and I am stronger because of that.

You may never forget about it. It will always sting.
>> Anonymous
i don't depend on a guy at all. i don't even have a boyfriend and i don't need one really. i haven't spoken to said guy since i left his house and went home, not even online.

i wasn't shooting down the option. i weigh like 270 :/ how can i lose like 150 pounds? that's alot of weight.
>> Anonymous
i know getting in shape is good for you. im not saying it's not. i just thought someone could give me advice on what would make me not think about it whenever i think i might like someone.
>> Loser
Find a boyfriend at a coffee shop. Not online.
>> Anonymous
>>137249

It's a lot of weight but it's sure as hell possible. It ain't easy. You ain't gonna lose it in a few months. But it's possible and there are people out there who will help you if you set your mind to it.
>> Anonymous
im not so good at talking to guys, i get really nervous. :(
>> Anonymous
>>137257

'fraid there's no hypno-therapy for that. Self confidence isn't turned on, it's built.
>> Anonymous
what kind of steps should i take to lose weight? i don't really have equipment and going to a gym would being a damn nightmare. i do have a bike though!
>> Anonymous
stop making excuses for yourself

read what you are writing jesus christ
>> Anonymous
how? i know people lose weight at home. you don't have to go to the gym.
>> Anonymous
Hmm... this thread seems like a troll...
>> Anonymous
no troll. im serious o_o; what steps could i take to lose weight that doesn't involve a gym or 293840920489430598043$ of equipment?
>> Anonymous
>>137274

Gym isn't really necessary for losing weight. Here's what you do.

Cardio. Something to keep your heart rate up as high as you can for as long as you can. Running, biking, swimming (swimming is great), treadmill, jumping jacks, etc. Google is your friend. Keep this going for good bouts of time. 30 minutes is decent. Anything below 15 minutes and you're just burning sugar, not fat. The longer the better so long as you can sustain it without exhaustion. Drink water, stop when you feel it isn't safe to go on.

Diet. Equally as important as exercising. Low fat foods, less food, more meals smaller content. I'm not really sure about this but there are a lot of decent dietary plans out there. Eat healthy and eat balanced.

Sleeping. 8 hours a night. No more, no less, no exception.

Research. Do a week's worth of research on exercises, diets, weight training (an excellent compliment to losing weight), etc.

Diligence. Keep it up. Weigh yourself however much you want. The routine is what will kill you at first. The longer you stay with it the more you'll want to stay with it. You'll be able to quantify results in a minimum of six weeks if you work hard enough.
>> Anonymous
so biking for about 30 minutes everyday?

im currently on a diet to lower my cholesterol. i don't eat alot of bad foods, i eat alot of meat and im trying to cut it out.
>> Anonymous
>>137304

Biking is kid shit when it comes to cardio workout unless you're biking up a 20degree incline for 30 minutes. When I said 30 minutes, I meant running. Running is the end all to cardio workouts- but can be hell on your ankles.

Swimming is probably your best bet. I'm not sure on the time, but just do laps until you keel over. Rest a day and go as long as you can the next. When you feel like you can do it everyday, do it everyday.

Vary your routine. Running mixed with swimming, biking, and body weight exercises (pushups, crunches, situps, etc) is a good basic plan. If your muscles burn on the end of a day, take the next to rest.
>> Anonymous
where i live has constant hills, some steep, some not, some normal.
>> Anonymous
>>137326

Point is, if you don't feel like dying, you're probably not doing it hard enough or long enough.
>> Anonymous
oh ty for the advice bb. :]
>> Anonymous
>>137249
I'm 280, and I just got off the treadmill for 2 miles in 40 minutes. Not good but you can't look at it like I have to lose 150 pounds, you have to set small goals. You might not notice the change in your body since you see it everyday, so take before and after pictures every 1-2 weeks. That will keep you going. You'll also feel better mentally and physically.

You had a bad experience with a guy, it's time to move on and meet new people. It doesn't have to be to date just be friends. All guys aren't like that. Some are and they're always the immature pricks. Avoid them and you'll be just fine.
>> Anonymous
I hate women. You are so fucking hypcritical and are full of shit.

>>Im very self conscious because im overweight

Then lose the weight, stop bitching.

>>him laughing at me, calling me names and ending the relationship. how can i feel better? is it possible?

Lose the weight, stop bitching.

>>im not saying i wouldn't try to lose weight. im saying that i doubt me losing weight is going to give me a boost of confidence.

Idiot. You say you're self conscious because of your weight yet losing it wont make a difference?

>>i don't depend on a guy at all. i don't even have a boyfriend and i don't need one really. i haven't spoken to said guy since i left his house and went home, not even online.

i wasn't shooting down the option. i weigh like 270 :/ how can i lose like 150 pounds? that's alot of weight.

Woah, BBW whale seal of disapproval. I'm not surprised you're self conscious. You got yourself into this mess, get yourself out it. You are full of shit, you dont "need" a boyfriend is an excuse for "i cant get" a boyfriend. You lured this guy into false pretenses by acting confident online, and when you met him you were probably 70lb larger than you looked in the pics you sent him.
>> Anonymous
>>what kind of steps should i take to lose weight? i don't really have equipment and going to a gym would being a damn nightmare. i do have a bike though!

>>no troll. im serious o_o; what steps could i take to lose weight that doesn't involve a gym or 293840920489430598043$ of equipment?

So basically you want to not do any exercise and hope to lose weight? There is no magic pill or "6 week diet". It will take you minimum 10 months if you seriously push yourself, and i mean seriously, not your "omg its too hard *scoff* *scoff* *scoff*".

Biking is shit. You only use your lower body and its a shit workout for lazy people, buy a cross trainer and stfu.

>>so biking for about 30 minutes everyday?

im currently on a diet to lower my cholesterol. i don't eat alot of bad foods, i eat alot of meat and im trying to cut it out.

Post your current diet and make us laugh.

>>where i live has constant hills, some steep, some not, some normal.

Go walking then if your ankles & kness can take the strain. Waddle stroll isnt an option, brisk walk will only do you good.

You are a fucking fat, ugly bitch and will not get a relationship until you sort yourself out. You will in all probability die alone, without bearing any children because you are greedy and extremely lazy to weigh 270lb. People see you in the street and laugh at you mentally, no guy would look at you twice weighing 270lb and im surprised this internet date even wanted to have sex with you. He must have wanted to do it with a whale for an achievement.

Why am i belittleing your existence? Because you're not serious about losing the weight and need to be told the blatent truth that you are in denial of before you can be 100% determined on losing weight without giving up.
>> Anonymous
This bitch needs to get in the gym, start doing barbell complexes and not give a fuck about what people around her think.

you put a half assed effort in and you get a half assed result.
>> Anonymous
http://www.musclewithattitude.com/

this website is the fuckin shit for girls.
there are tons of people on there that have lost hundreds of pounds and are fit as fuck now.
this is the best method.
if it looks too hard, then i guess feeling good about yourself is too hard, be miserable forever.
you need to snap out of it and take fucking charge of your life
>> Anonymous
>>137400

This anon is clearly a ridiculous, vitriolic cunt and needs to do everyone around themselves a favor and drink a giant frosty glass of bleach, but they do pose some good points.

Getting overweight doesn't come overnight (former fatanon myself, was 200 pounds @ 5 foot 2.5 inches, knows of what they speak on this note) and it won't go away overnight either. Start out with brisk jogging, biking, ANYTHING counts as long as it gets the heart rate up and keeps it that way for a while. Stretch, stretch, and stretch some more, both before and after.

Do some workout videos at home, preferably a set of tapes with an AM and PM increments. I did bellydance tapes and beginners Yoga tapes to start and it helped me out a lot at first. From there, well, read the threads that the other anons posted and go from there.
>> Anonymous
Now that we have established your existence is pointless, lets do something about it:

Google "BMR Calculator" and use 3 different ones to find your BMR. This is the amount of calories you will burn through in a day doing nothing. This is not an excuse for not exercising.

When you find your BMR, -1000 from it. This is your new calorie limit per day. You cannot fill this up through sugar, bread, cake, pie, pizza etc..

Your diet should consist of lean meat i.e. skinless chicken, turkey, small amount of pork. Avoid red meats. You will also be eating alot of vegetables. If you say you dont like them, just do away with yourself now and be an hero.

Considering your size you can eat more carbs than the average person trying to lose weight, however do not go and eat a fucking loaf of bread. If you dont plan to exercise, you do not need an abundance of carbs as it will go unused and stored as fat.

I highly suggest you switch your diet entirely to meal replacement formula for high protein, low carbs & calories for 2 meals a day because i doubt you will stick to the food groups you are told.

http://www.herbalife.com/ - if you can afford it. Works very well if you arent lazy and stick to it. There are many other varities around, this is the one i use and its fine, money is no object to me when it comes to my health.

2 of those shakes a day with a meal in the evening consisting of high protein, low carbs & low fat which generally means lean meat and plenty vegetables.

The rest of /fit/ can tell you more or flame me for using cruel methods to help you.
>> Anonymous
>>137413

My next post was resolving the issue, i wouldnt have left it at that 2 posts as it isnt productive.
>> Anonymous
>>137397
>>137400

cruel but true