File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
ITT Stupid Things You've Done at the Gym


So last night, I went to the gym for the very first time. My sister had a 7 day pass and after lurking /fit/ for the past 6 months, I wanted to try out strong lifts. So I decided to go to her gym...And my friend went with us as well.

I wanted to start out with stronglifts, but my friend wanted to go to the treadmill. So I decided, okay I'll do a little warm up (even though I heard that stronglifts is supposed to be so tiring that you can't do cardio the same day)...But my "little warm up" turned into a big challenge for myself. I thought "I've never ran a 6 minute mile before, I'll set the pace for 10 MPH.

Now last time I did cardio (or even HIIT) in my routine was at the beginning of October. So, I actually am able to finish the mile, and I'm kind of proud, but a little tired. Still, I want to get my workout in. I head over for the power racks, and my friend follows. They're all being used up, so we find a bench. I haven't benched beyond what I have for dumbells in a while, and I know that stronglifts says to start off with the bar, but I'm pretty confident in my form and I had been practicing at home with lower weights. (two 35 pound dumbells, same with deadlifts and squats)

Now I'm benching 165, and I get the first set out. The next set I do 3 and can't lift it up all the way. I finish that set with a spot. So I pull out the 25s and add a 10 instead. Now I finish that set, and I am able to finish all of the sets for bench. My friend doesn't want to lift weights; he pretty much came cause it was bored and free, so I am only taking 30 second breaks in between. We move over to one of the power racks. I do my squats, and my sister comes over telling me she's done with her workout. I tell her that I'll stay and finish my workout
>> Anonymous
Cool story, brah
>> Anonymous
We go downstairs to talk to the guy about whatever Gold's Gym was trying to sell me. As we are walking down, I take my sisters water and drink half of it in the time it takes to get down the stairs. The guy says he is just going to talk to me more after I'm done. By that time, I'm leaning up against the wall and starting to see fuzzy


My friend and I walk back towards the stairs and I see a chair and tell him I need to sit down. I sit there and I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm pretty sure I was dehydrated, plus my heart rate was up so high from doing a 6 minute mile and then lifting. I told him to find out where a bathroom is. By the time he got back, I was already by the trash can and I threw up 3 or 4 times. Then, I felt better. I said "Okay, let's just leave"...and as we're walking back, everything gets fuzzy again. I tell my friend to get my license for me from the receptionist, and I go to sit outside. By the door, there is a plant and I see it as I'm walking out. I was going to sit behind it, but as I was sitting down, the plant disappears from my vision and I can only guess where it is. Luckily I made it down okay. I tell me friend to go bring my car around and by the time he has it, I start to feel better again. I get up, walk to the car, and we drive home. By the time we get home, I'm starting to not feel like I have to throw up and my vision is cleared...It was pretty fucking scary but it was my fault...I don't think I'll do that next time I go.
>> Anonymous
>>420806

Wasn't finished BRAH. Plus, you didn't even read it because it was posted for like 10 seconds.
>> Anonymous
cool story brah
>> Anonymous
I'm honestly surprised you managed to finish the 6 minute mile at 10 MPH after being so out of shape.
>> Anonymous
>>420821

I don't believe I'm SO out of shape because even though I haven't been doing cardio, I still have been lifting at home. And I usually make it moderately intense and it lasts about 45 minutes. But I think that was part of the reason, plus I don't think I had much to drink that day and usually before dinner I have 2-3 bottles of water.
>> Anonymous
That whole entire story could've been cut down to "lol so get this guys I ran a mile in 6 minutes and straight after did some stronglifts but since i wasnt used to doing lifts straight after cardio i threw up a few times guess i wont be doing that again lol".
>> Anonymous
>>420837

I guess I'm just wordy, and probably not in a good way.
>> Anonymous
>>420837

Oh, also I wanted to hear some other people's stupid stories but I'm probably the only one.
>> Anonymous
>>420846
Fine, have a story from me. People didn't believe me last time I posted this.

I've been running for a long time, and I use the treadmill. Behind the treadmills at my gym are a set of stair-climbers. One time when I was running at 8.5 mph or so, I tripped over my own feet, fell and went flying back into aforementioned stair-climbers. I blacked-out pretty much and the only things I really remember in the interim were being carried on a stretcher and then waking up in the hospital.
>> Anonymous
>>420863

In the hospital? Was you bleeding heavily or something?
>> Anonymous
>>420867
Yes, had a broken rib and whiplash
>> Anonymous
>>420870
Ouch, shit sucks dude.
>> Anonymous
>>420805
>ITT Stupid Things You've Done at the Gym

I haven't done anything too stupid.
Well yesterday the 2 power cage and 4 squat racks were being used (damn inverted rows and barbell shrug fag).
The only place left was inside the power cage, but the thing didn't have the adjustable holders for the bar ("A" in the picture). And I *thought* the guy using the outside of the power cage (the part for deadlift, oly lifts, etc) was using his.

So I look around and each power rack only has ONE set of adjustable barbell holders. So I'm all like
FFFFFFFFFFFFF nao what?

I asked a couple people how many sets they had left, thought to myself for a minute on what to do.

Finally I came up with my brilliant plan to adjust the fucking safety beams ("B" in the picture) to the height I wanted the bar to be.
When I'm done adjusting their height, I almost facepalm and I was hoping no one saw what I was doing, and I put them back down.

Then I ask the guy using the outside of the rack if he's using the adjustable holders ("A"), he's liek no and I use them.


So that's my long story.
tl;dr I'm not so good thinking on my feet.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>420912
forgot the pic
>> Anonymous
Not something stupid that I did, but I saw some dude hog a bench press bench just for curling. Fucking.
>> Anonymous
I was in the gym all by myself at night once, and started working out as usual. As I was doing my 3rd curl exercise, I couldn't help but notice how sexy I was looking in the mirror. I was like, 'damn nigga, you looking GOOD," so in after my last set of 12, I started to flex. And it was awesome, I could literally feel the pump trying to burst blood through my peaks. Better than cumming. While all this was going on, I was grunting and saying shit like 'oh yeaaaa, light weight baby hooooooo,' etc, stupid shit I learned from /fit/ . When I was done posing down my reflection, I grabbed my shit by the wall and turned to leave, when I noticed across the room this middle aged woman staring at me, with tears in her red eyes, trying to surpress her laughter. After that it was like a dam bursting, she doubled up and was laughing all uncontrollably. Being filled with the pump, all I could respond with was, 'LIGHTWEIGHT BABY'. I could hear the faint sound of laughter running away to the parking lot.
>> Anonymous
>>420979


Oh god i lol'd. Give me more /fit/ terms so i can start saying it to myself while i flex.
>> Anonymous
>>420919
ypu didn't tell him to move it, or anyone else do it.... or is there enough benches for it not to matter?

I'd of fucking politely raged, I had to do so the other day when some fag was using a bench press station to do leg raises FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
>> Anonymous
>>420985

Other stuff I was saying was "u aint got dis mussle," like 10 times, "curlz for da gurlz brah" and 'PEANUT" (supposed to be 'aint nuttin but a peanut', but 'peanut' was all that I was sayin of that line).
>> Anonymous
>Stupid Things You've Done at the Gym
I tried to squat in the curl rack. People were staring at me funny. Never again.
>> Anonymous
>>421011
that's pretty embarrassing, you should be ashamed of yourself
>> Anonymous
I've fallen over doing squats...TWICE.

And yes, people saw.
>> Anonymous
>>421037
I feel on my knee once. fucking brutal.

I'm convinced my gym bought a smith machine precisely because of my wipeout. (I was squatting by taking the bar off the incline bench)
>> Anonymous
fell*
>> Fatass_sprinter !dHCbrHI07w
When I was removing the weights after I was done squatting I zoned out and forgot to remove the ones on the other side so the bar ended up falling down and nearly hitting someone.
>> Anonymous
>>420979
hahahaha
>> Anonymous
>>421037

now that sucks, good thing weights didn't fall on you.
>> Anonymous
>>420988
Dude was fucking curling 180 lb. I can't even bench that much--I can barely curl just over half that. I was in no position to tell him to gtfo, and yes I was waiting for a bench... dude was huge.
>> Anonymous
Fuck, I got caught flexing in the bathroom mirror once. I wasn't really saying stupid shit like the other guy, but I was lifting up my shirt and inspecting my abs like a total fucking tool. I was also checking out how my ass looked in some new pants and wanted to see how my biceps looked from behind so I flexed my muscles and turned around trying to bend my neck to see. At that point I saw a trainer smiling at me from around the lockers. Don't know if it was homolust or if he was just laughing at my asshattery but either way it was embarrassing.
>> Anonymous
At my last gym, which was a sort of casual place (90% cardio machines, 10% weights, yuck) there was no squat rack. Again, horrible place. Being fed up one day and raging on No-Xplode after my workout, I decided to use the bench to do squats. I kicked the bench out the way, loaded up the bar, and squatted like a machine. I came close to failure on my third set, but felt like finishing with 2 more reps on the highest weight I could. I loaded up, lifted the bar, and dropped it straight away from shoulder height, forgetting there was nothing below me but a wood floor. The bar crashed into the floorboards, leaving two lovely semi-circular holes and an insurance bill I wasn't around long enough to see.
>> Anonymous
>>421213

don't worry brah it was homolust men and women stare at me all the time when i flex in the mirror
>>421218

hardcore
>> Anonymous
>>421212
well I doubt he'd actually kick your ass for imposing yourself, wasn't there anywhere more appropriate he could do his curls?

you could of been a suckass and rhetorically asked him how you'd ever be able to be as jacked as him if you couldn't use the bench press.
>> Anonymous
>>421213
You almost got raped.
>> Anonymous
i was doing deadlifts and on my last set i wanted to load up an additional 50 pounds to finish things off. So I start lifting, and end up almost falling over on my right side a couple times wondering WTF. After 2 reps I realized I accidently loaded 35 pounds instead of 25 on the right side :(.

screwed my back and ended up using terrible form, but im ok!
>> Anonymous
I spent almost 6 months using machines exclusively ;_;

I didn't have a trainer, just an interest in getting stronger. I... I just didn't know!

Fortunately books and the Internet enlightened me. It took me another 6 months before I could go totally free-weight. I was clean for a while, but now that my program has shifted to muscle building I use machines occasionally. But ONLY occasionally.
>> Anonymous
>>421433
Fgt
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I accidentally a gay gym.

Slightly longer version:
I'd moved to a new city for a new job at a university. The uni had a gym, but it was old, smelly, broken and rusty. Other area gyms were horribly expensive (like $100s per month -- ridiculous). Then I found one nearby at a reasonable $30/month. Had good equipment, looked ok, so I joined.

Two months later, I'm working out there one night. I usually work out in the morning. So it's night, and some techno music is pumping extra loud. I notice the song has some raunchy texture. Then I notice that some of the other guys lifting are really getting in to it and in to their lifting. One guy takes off his shirt to do shoulder flyes in the mirror. And I see near him, the gym attendant has been away from his desk quite a while, chatting with two other guys. Hmmm.

Then the music kicks in with lyrics: "I wanna fuck you in the ass, I wanna <unintelligible> your balls." Seriously, no kidding. That's when it hits me: I AM IN A GAY GYM.

Coda: I kept going until I quit that job, which was only three months later anyway. Aside from one of the queers getting my number from the attendant's computer and calling me asking for a date, it was still a good gym.
>> Anonymous
>>421496
I lol'd hard.
>> Anonymous
>>421496

Next time, hit on the owner for free membership.
>> Anonymous
>>421496
I'm not gay but I wouldn't mind that too much. Think of the conversations you could start with that shit, chicks love that stuff.
>> Anonymous
Alright, bit of a read, but I think it's worth it. So it's my leg day. I had just loaded up the squat rack and went to get a quick drink. I was gone for about a minute and these thugs are taking my plates off. So I stand right behind them, cross my arms (being sure to flex the forearms for extra fierceness), and just stare them down. They get the hint. Doesn't sound stupid so far, right? So I finish my workout. As I'm walking up to my car, I notice that it looks like someone kicked my door and broke off my mirrors. It doesn't take a genius to figure out who did it. So I call the cops. Since these guys were members, the gym had their contact info, and the cops brought them in for questioning. They confessed and I got my car fixed.
>> Anonymous
>>421680
tl;dr I tried to out-thug some thugs and I got my car smashed up. But it was ok in the end.
>> Anonymous
>>420863

Run outside like a true fag
>> Anonymous
>>421496
thats actually lol worthy.
>> Anonymous
>>420807

Puke on your first day of stronglifts, pretty hardcore.

My first day of stronglifts I decided to deadlift first with 50lbs over my 5rm without warming up. Fucked up my lower back, which took two week to heal completely. I wish I could say that was the only stupid ego driven thing I did as a novice lifter. The lesson here is, just start with the fucking bar.
>> Anonymous
>>421747

Yea, but the worst part is that it could have been totally avoided.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
When I was still in the military, my roomy and I were on the same program...worked out together almost every day. We both wore our own music, as the gym music sucks taint, and as a result kind of developed our own retarded abbreviated sign language. So we hardly took our music out. I should note that we were both enlisted.

Anyway...we both have OCD RAGE when we see someone puts dumbells back on the wrong spot, leave grips and plates laying around, curl right in front of the weight rack, etc.

My roomy was a very outspoken fellow, also very short and angry, and it was the nicest gym on base, so lots of officerfags and trophy wives went there.

One day, while waiting for some hefty officer (wearing a "THE BASIC SCHOOL!" shirt, so everyone knows he's an officer!) to put his dumbells back, we noticed he commited a sin. He put them in the wrong spot, even though he had JUST picked them up.

My roomy snatched an earpiece out and yelled "YOU FUCKING RETARD" and stared him down when he glared back, as I pointedly put his dumbells in the correct spot. He left the gym. We lol'd.

Later, doing incline crunches with the medicine ball right next to 2 hot Fillipino girls, I farted really loud, and after the instant burst of shame, lol'd hard. They left too.

That's about it.
>> Anonymous
We have a gym where I work. Basically, one time I was doing my last set of SQUATZ, and at the bottom of the squat I let out this ear-drum shattering fart. Additionally, the odor was similar to braised fish heads and rotten fruit. Best part was, one of the co-workers I disliked was nearby at the time. Somewhat embarrassing, but certainly worth it.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
you don't have a sister. enjoy your hand.
>> Anonymous
>>421854
you know if I did that in while I was in the military, I'd be doing a 12 hour ruck in about an hour
>> Anonymous
the other week i go to the gym and decide its chest day. so i put on a manageable weight to start with, do twenty reps to get warmed up, etc.

I'm done, decide, rather than take this off, I'll just add more weight over it. I do....lay back...push. it barely budges. so now I'm annoyed cause not only did i go way over my limit, apparently, even if I do get it up, i don't have a spotter. and I'm wondering if anyone sees how weak i am.

then, to make it worse...I've gotta get up, take off the outer weights, remove the light ones, put the outers back on, and then bench.

kinda embarrassing....but then, I'm easily embarrassed
>> Anonymous
>>422563

Yea, that one sounds lame; you shouldn't be embarrassed if you can't lift a weight.
>> Anonymous
so i'm at the gym the other day doing shrugs in the mirror and screaming at the top of my lungs when all of the sudden i shit myself.

ps. i also scream during rests.
>> Anonymous
>>421496
i'm guessing you were at a normal gym. gyms are kind of naturally faggish.
>> Anonymous
>>422633
I'm embarrassed when a hawt girl walks by and I'm struggling with a rep. I just started stronglifts and I'm using much lower weight compared to other people.

<3 university gyms, so many /fit/ bitches. Of course, I don't know how to start a conversation with them anyways.
>> Anonymous
>>420805
>>420807
>tldr: I worked out for the first time and it was so haaaaaard you guise :(
>> Anonymous
>>422662
he puked brah, I'd say that was a stupid thing.

Have you ever puked inside of a gym?
>> Anonymous
>>421011
If people do curls in the squat rack you HAVE to get them back for it.
>> Anonymous
>>422660
>>422660

just rub your crotch and keep staring at them it works like a charm, Everytime.
>> Anonymous
>>422563
So you tried heavy weight, failed and put less on. That's still better than trying to push the weight anyway with bad form and failing after 3 lifts, trying to look cool.

>>421496
I don't think that one would be too bad. Even if they're fags, if they're trying to date you it should boost your confidence.
>> Anonymous
>>422667
Yes. If you work the fuck out and push yourself to the limit, you're going to puke. I don't see why anyone in a fucking GYM would have a problem with it, unless you're puking through the hall or on other people.
>> Anonymous
>>422660

yea i guess that makes sense

>>422662

chill brah i work out before that brah i just never ran a 6 minute mile along with being so dehydrated and then continued a workout brah.
>> Anonymous
>>422684

oh and yea i don't think i'll try it again...i'll try a little more moderate workout tonight...lighter warm up with actually finishing strong lifts. also, found a trash can so no one was upset. no one really saw either cause i was downstairs and everything is upstairs.
>> Anonymous
>>422678
0/10
>> Anonymous
Benched too much with no spotter. I was doing 10lbs less then my max and I couldn't get up the 3rd one rep. I waited about 10 mins for my arm strength to build back up and then put the bar back in place. Never made that mistake again.
>> Anonymous
>>422722
So you were lying there under the bar for 10 minutes and no one was like, "Hey man, need a hand?" That shit wouldn't happen in a gay gym.
>> Anonymous
>>422722

hardcore...you couldve benched in the curl racks but i know people get mad
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>421854
Herp Derp
>> ­gay
OP is a fag

here's my story

I drive a honda accord. I drove it to the gym and stopped. Turned off the engine opened the door. I put my left foot out first and then my right. I stood up and closed the door behind me. I put my left foot in front of my right, pushed my body forward and repeat the same with my left until I reached the door of the gym. I opened the door with my right hand, and let it close behind me. I opened my wallet, took out my gym membership card and showed it to the receptionist. I put it back in my wallet.

Then I did some weights and went home, the end.
>> Anonymous
>>423646
>>did some weights and went home, the end.

so you fucked the weights and went home? you sir, are disgusting.
>> Anonymous
>>423646

wat

also, op here. don't know what you're claiming about fagginess.
>> Anonymous
Decided to get back into swimming late in college, since I was pretty good as a kid. I went to the pool at the university's nice fitness center one night and went to the smaller pool in the back for more privacy. I do two, maybe three laps and stop at the wall, catching my breath and all. Then this guy in the next lane, this old man who was well over 60 years old, tiny and wrinkled, who has been doing laps nonstop since I got there, stops, turns to me and says, "Oh you can't be stopping already sonny". About 5 minutes later I left.

But dammit that motivated the hell out of me and I'm actually pretty good now.
>> ­gay
>>423718
whoooshhhhhhhhh
>> Anonymous
>>423641
Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this

I lol'd though.

If anything, the little guy you labeled as /b/ would be /fit/. He is the one who introduced me to weightlifting. Had skinny little chicken legs, but he could squat well over 300 pounds. Also could single- or double-leg me and throw me down like it was nothing. Crazy little fucker. He's the one that was always yelling at officers and SNCOs, as a Corporal. The one with the ? would also be /fit/. Lucky genetics, lifted probably half as much as we did, was still buff. Sucked at groundfighting though, and is a ridiculous Christfag.

Didn't know those other two. That works though, lawl
>> Anonymous
I didn't know you needed to include the weight of the bar when you lift.
>> ­gay
>>423751
how did you exclude the weight of the bar when you lift? Tell me more about this massless bar.
>> Anonymous
My gym is the judo dojo. Stupid thing I did was not doing a breakfall after getting thrown during my first time doing randori. Didn't help that my partner landed on top of me. Shit knocked the wind out of my chest. I looked damn foolish.
>> Anonymous
>>423765
>Tell me more about this massless bar.

I lol'd.
>> Anonymous
It's me, the gay gym guy again. I've been at this for a long time, so I'll share another one.

One day, when I was younger and more full of beans, I was doing bench press. I finished a good set and immediately wanted to superset with dips. At the chin-dip station, there was a guy standing next to it but not doing anything. So I stepped over to it, and without saying anything to the guy, whipped myself up there and started dipping. He took one look at me, surprised, then makes that "pfft" scoffing sound which usually precedes an ass-kicking. He wasn't small, either, and I'd seen him messing around on the speed bag in the boxing room before. I finished my dips and steered clear of him from then on.

I like to think that now I'm the mean-looking big guy that no one wants to piss off. If only I were taller.
>> Anonymous
.
>> Anonymous
>>424827
>>I like to think that now I'm the mean-looking big guy that no one wants to piss off. If only I were taller.

and i don't think you found that gay gym by accident.
>> Anonymous
>>423868
I never breakfall when I randori, judges will give an ippon out so quick if they see it in a match.
>> Anonymous
>>421009
oh god I love you, marry me please