>> |
Anonymous
>>448110
She's going to be defensive no matter how you bring it up. She knows there's a certain amount of shame attached to having an ED.
What she needs you to do is bring it up. However you want, just make sure to use compassion for what she's going through and understand the actual disorder. Talk about the disorder, not about what she is or is not eating, and avoid talking about her appearance. Focus on the eating habits--try things like "I noticed that you don't come to dinner with us anymore", "I haven't had (insert restaurant/dining commons/meal) with you in so long". Talk about her emotions, "You seem so stressed lately, and you've stopped eating because of it. Why are you so stressed?"
You need to talk to her about it and find out what the real issue is: usually, those struggling with EDs are actualling having a control issue. Maybe their family life is going through changes, they're afraid of losing their boyfriend, their grades are plummeting. There's usually something in their life that is going wildly out of their control, so they heavily regulate what they eat as a way to show that they can control *something*.
Talk to your Resident Assistant or tell her that you'd like her to see a counselor. Offer to help her make the appointment, offer to walk her there, offer to wait and walk her back.
Don't tell her that she needs to eat more. She'll probably see it as you trying to control her, which is exactly what she's trying to avoid.
Good luck
|