File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Dear /fit/,

I am planing on killing myself sometime this week. The method I have chosen is the problem. I am type O blood and want as much of my body to go to people who can use the organs. I remember an episode of House where a man hung himself after taking aspirin. Since there is no place to hang myself in my apartment I am going to put a plastic bag over my head and duct-tape it around my neck. My question is how long would it take me to die, so I can set my computer to call my friend with a prerecorded message of me telling him to call an ambulance.

tl;dr How long does it take to die with a plastic bag around your head?

Don't give me any "life is worth living" shit please. I have clinical depression and the meds they give me make it worst. The first week I was on zoloft I hammered all my toes and burned my wrist. I don't wanna live a depressing life.
>> CWheezy !!bJFrM5LONOF
maybe like 5-6 minutes?
>> Anonymous
Live is worth living. Just start smoking a lot of pot and see how that works out for you.
>> Anonymous
The only /fit/ing way to commit suicide to is die from exhaustion while doing SQUATZ.

How many reps would someone have to do before they died?
>> Anonymous
This, my dear friends, is a prime example of natural selection. The weak pussies that think they have some non-existent disease like OP die, and the strong-willed survive. Good fucking riddance, and I hope you feel as much pain as possible when you try to kill yourself.
>> the ides of march !!7Z/3gj5ZXsu
Bye! Sorry you don't have the mental fortitude to improve your situation and decided to take the easy way out.
>> Anonymous
>>360963
if he is going for carbon dioxide poisoning he wont feel much pain
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>I have clinical depression
>I don't wanna live a depressing life
>> ­
this post is stupid, you could call your friend yourself and tell him you are killing yourself, then have plenty of time to off yourself

>>360951
i agree
if life is honestly not worth living anymore to you, you should use it to your advantage. Start living like you don't give a shit if you die or not.
>> Anonymous
My old science teacher once told us the easiest and most painless way to kill yourself is starvation, since your body simply consumes itself. That is, if you can get over being a fat fuck and not eating.
>> Anonymous
>>360988

I agree there. If you're truly suicidal you should go skydiving. Don't use a parachute, use a horse. Strap your legs to a horse, see if he lands on his feet.
>> ­
clinical depression has never been proved to be an actual condition

everyone has depression, 99% of people are mature enough to control their emotions, 1% claim to be different than other people and end up killing themselves

at least your gene-pool will be erased from the human race
>> Anonymous
fuck you, suicide is such a fucking selfish thing to do you ass. I have depression too but that's no excuse suck it up because life hard, and awful, especially when you feel dead to the world, can't sleep, eat, talk, when your heads full of fragments of ideas that just wont fit together that just serve to cloud and darken the world. But it's not all about you, atleast have the decency to live for the sake of the people around you.
>> Anonymous
sociology major here
>>360988
people who live their life like they don't give a shit are usually far from suicidal
>>360996
and most people kill themselves in the easiest possible manner, why would they make it difficult if they want it?
>> Anonymous
How old are you?
Really, I've had clinical depression for almost 10 years.
There is always a drug that will fix you, if you are a richfag then you have nothing to worry about
>> Anonymous
>>360992
he was wrong, since the hunger becomes unbearable at some point.
>> Anonymous
>>361012
Actually that happens only the first days. Later you become really numb and don't hunger
>> Anonymous
Thanks for being conscientious and not polluting the gene pool with your retarded and fucked up self.

>>360953
knows what's up.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
MY LIFE IS A DARK ABYSS NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME
>> Anonymous
cry some more for attention loser.

protip: nobody who claims they want to kill themselves ever actually goes through with it, they always end up wussing out, calling friends last minute etc. The real suicidal people go to work every day for 20 years, then one day snap and jump in front of a train.
>> ­
>>361008
>people who live their life like they don't give a shit are usually far from suicidal

thanks for making my point for me

pro-tip, go back to college and get a new major
>> Anonymous
YOU HAMMERED YOUR TOES WAT
>> Anonymous
>>360939
First, dont kill yourself

Secondly, for the general information, organs can only be taken on a person wich is brain dead (heart still beating) or that is being deplugged from mechanical ventilation at the hospital.
>> Anonymous
>>361005

Know's what's up.

>>360978

rofl
>> Anonymous
>>361029
That is a common misconception. Most suicidal people show signs or mention wanting to kill themselves before doing so. People like to look the other way because they're scared little cunts, so when the person finally offs themselves they say, "WE NEVER SAW IT COMING!"
>> Anonymous
it looks like someone needs a hug

do you need a huggy-wuggy!?
>> Anonymous
>>361052
>so when the person finally offs themselves they say, "WE NEVER SAW IT COMING!"

a.k.a. nobody gives a shit about their non-existent problems
>> Anonymous
>>361052


If nothing else, this thread convinced me to go talk to my parents about my brother. He's very close, and I've been trying to ignore it for my own peace of mind.
>> ­
>>361052

not necessarily
while you say that most people who kill themselves show signs of wanting to do it

you neglect to realize that only a fraction of people who say they are going to kill themselves, actually go through with it

its not common misconception, its a fact that there are more suicide threats than actual suicides

and i'd be willing to bet that of those threats, "most" people don't go through with it
>> Anonymous
thoughts of death come in my mind frequently because I'm in chronic pain but I'd like to meet someone in constant pain who isnt affected mentally somehow by it

anyway I usually just ignore it and it's gone

what makes you so different and special that you should be able to run away from your problems and leave them for other people to pick up, OP?
>> Successfully Trolled Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I SAY, NOW I SSSAAAYYY THURR BOY

I DO BELIEVE THAT Y'ALL NIGGAS JUST GOT TROLLED

HARD
>> Anonymous
>>361066
What you're saying is pointless. The original statement was that people who say they will kill themselves never do. This is definitely wrong, as many people who have killed themselves did indeed say they would before they did.

I had no idea /fit/ was infested with so many trolls. I guess I've been away too long.
>> ­
>>361078
>>361066

both of you are stupid, you're both arguing a point using inaccurate information. Any statistics coming from a study about whether or not someone who committed suicide had threatened to do it are inaccurate since you can't really ask the person can you? You need to ask the family and friends which will have a high possibility of results skewed by guilt and other factors.
>> Anonymous
I just took a poop.
>> Anonymous
>>361071
I, I SAY THERE NIGGA, YOU BES BE SHINING,I SAID A SHINING UP THESE HERE SHOES IF YOU WANT TO KEEP THEM TEETH
>> Anonymous
ITT lots of faggots who have never been clinically depressed.

check it niggers, clinical depression occurs when the brain doesn't get enough seratonin. the result is that you actually see no point to living, and no amount of "mental fortitude" or better living situations will give a point to living.

everyone has hard times and sadness, sure, but what the OP is describing is something entirely different.

to the OP: realize that the reason you don't feel like living is due to an imbalance of chemicals in your brain, and the right combination of drugs will sort you out nicely. in the short term, stop being so selfish and consider all the people you will hurt by offing yourself.
>> ­
>>361123

THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY THEORY
>> Anonymous
>>361123
Non-existent sickness is non-existent.
>> Anonymous
>>361142

THEORY THAT HAS BEEN PROVEN RIGHT THOUSANDS OF TIMES OVER BY PEOPLE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION TAKING SAID MEDICATION AND MAGICALLY GETTING BETTER
>> Anonymous
6 minutes, give or take 3. But they might be able to bring you back for another 8 minutes realistically, up to an hour (with major brain damage). Ambulances in most major cities will get there within 12 minutes if it's not a busy time. Noble of you to preserve your body parts, I'd leave a note on you or near you telling them to take your organs. I recommend a strong plastic bag or two and one or two of those plastic tie wraps so you can make it tight and won't be able to back out. Plus if you jsut hold it on yourself when you pass out the bag may come loose and then youll live.
>> Anonymous
Do this instead

Potassium Cyanide

You can get it from a local jeweler (just tell them you need it for restoring a gold ring)

take a gram of this and mix it with 4 to 8oz of water. wait 5 minutes, then drink. lay down and think about your final thoughts, and (depending on your body, you will go unconscious in 15 - 45 seconds) and as long as no-one finds you to call 911 within 30 - 45 minutes, your dead.

Completely Painless and Very Quick.

best of luck,
anonymous

Pro-Tip: if you ditch the glass, it looks like you died (peacefully) of natural causes.

More info http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potassium_cyanide

I will not judge you if you're going to kill yourself, your life is your own to use as you wish.
>> Anonymous
>>361154

baseless claim is baseless.
>> Anonymous
>>361142
Gravity is a fucking theory.
>> ­
>>361156

AND THE MEDICATIONS DON'T WORK FOR TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T GET BETTER.

READ UP ON PLACEBOS, SOME PEOPLE ARE MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO THEM THEN OTHERS
>> ­
ITT FAGGOTS EATING UP THE PROPAGANDA TAUGHT TO THEM BY MEDICINE COMPANIES
>> ­
>>361164

lol'd really hard
>> Anonymous
>>361160
Not op here, but if I were going to off myself, I'd want to do it in the most horrible way possible so everyone in my life would know just how miserable I was. Also, they can see that they should have been more helpful to try and make my life a little better.

Call me a dick for wanting that, but... yeah, I am a dick.
>> Theodore Roosevelt !!J8LZ2zthmwi
>>360996
I fucking lolled.
>> Anonymous
At least kill yourself in an interesting way, I need something to entertain me
>> Anonymous
>>361156
PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO PLACEBO
>> Anonymous
DEPRESSION DOES NOT EXIST

This is a fact, whether you want to believe it or not. You're just in denial because you're a weak-willed coward that doesn't want to change his life and instead wants to take the easy way out. Stop trying to justify it with baseless claims.>>361005was pretty much spot on.
>> Anonymous
go ahead and off yourself, but dont call your friend, theyll freak out and feel bad and that's mean.
>> Anonymous
If you have been diagnosed with clinical depression and are being medicated but are still feeling suicidal, you need to see your doctor. One of the unfortunate (and ironic!) side effects of some anti-depressants in teenagers is suicidal ideation. There's a good chance that with your particular body chemistry, the meds you are making you worse instead of better, and you need to see a doctor. Soon.

I'm not going to give you tips on how to kill yourself, but I will say this- if you are going to do it, then fucking do it. People with a history of depression who attempt suicide usually wake up in the psych ward for an involuntary 72-hour hold if they live.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Watch that episode of Nip/Tuck in the first season where than cancerous bitch off's herself with the help of the doctor.
From what I remember it involved some medication, a plastic bag (but no tape). Apparently going out this way is euphoric and very peaceful.

Best of luck anon!
>> Anonymous
Kill yourself spontaneously in a densely populated public area for maximum lulz.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I was going to kill myself too but I had forgotten how much I loved Cranes

Thanks OP!
>> Anonymous
Wow, there are so many trolls in this thread it's depressing.
>> Anonymous
>>361314

LOL.
>> Anonymous
>>361320
Ahhhh but is it depressing enough to kill yourself over.
>> Anonymous
>>361007
>>361007
>>361007
>>361007
>>361007
>>361007
>>361007
>>361007
inb4 attempt to negate selfish action with organ donation.
>> Anonymous
>>361314
goddamn lol
>> Anonymous
Bushcraft / survival can teach you things about everything that has been brought up here.

Remember the rule of threes, a person can only live for:

Three minutes without air.
Three hours without shelter.
Three days without water.
Three weeks without food.
Three months without love.
>> Anonymous
>>361387
>Three hours without shelter.
wat
>> Anonymous
>>361387

Uhh I've known someone to survive over 4 days without water but I guess it depends where you are and what the circumstances are.

Also, some people can hold their breath for 5 minutes...
>> Anonymous
>>361387
>Three months without love.
wat
>> Anonymous
Depression exists, runs in the family a bit as well as few other mental illnesses.

Didn't need drugs to get over it, just used the sheer fucking hate over how my life has been so far to get over it.

Exercising helps burn off the rest of the hatred so I end up perfectly fine.
>> Anonymous
If you're going to do it, why not take a bunch of drugs so you'll at least feel good?
>> Anonymous
>>361399

I know it seems like a short time, but that is the reality (especially in harsher conditions)

>>361400

Usually in a survival situation you are panic ridden, a relaxed attempt in a controlled environment is very different!
>> Anonymous
>>361401

Look at the OP, I'm pretty sure that he/she isn't feeling loved.

A common example is Wilson from Castaway, how long do you think Tom Hanks could have lasted without him?
>> Anonymous
>>361420
Buddhist Monks sometimes spend their entire lives without "love".
>> Anonymous
>>361425

Ask a Buddhist monk if he feels unloved and report back...
>> Anonymous
>>361440
But that would defeat the purpose of spending an eternity in solitude now wouldn't it.
>> Anonymous
>>361414

i was actually outside today for 3 hours and i didn't die
>> Anonymous
>>360939
If you truly care about killing yourself you would not care about other people, let alone random people who you want to give your blood to. 5/10 for getting so many responses.
>> Anonymous
>>361400
People can hold their breath for 20 minutes.
>> Anonymous
>>361589
monkey island is not real
>> Anonymous
>>361590

yes it fucking is.
>> Anonymous
OP here disregard that I suck cocks.
>> tripcodesareforjerks !3GqYIJ3Obs
>>360939
>I have clinical depression and the meds they give me make it worst.

get off the meds?
>> Anonymous
>The first week I was on zoloft I hammered all my toes and burned my wrist.

i Iol'd
>> Anonymous
posting in troll thread

depression fags = pussy shits who got stuck in puberty

CRAWLLLIIIIIIINNNNGGGG INNNN MYYYYYYY SKIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
1/10
>> Anonymous
Get off Zoloft, take something else. Celexa is fucking awesome.
>> Anonymous
>>361156
>check it niggers, clinical depression occurs when the brain doesn't get enough seratonin. the result is that you actually see no point to living, and no amount of "mental fortitude" or better living situations will give a point to living.
No it hasn't. Serotonin levels go up to normal level within 2 - 3 hours of ingestion and yet patients are still depressed. And non-depressed people whose serotonin level are artificially lowered don't get depressed, even within weeks of ingestion of the drugs.
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2008/07/06/head_fake/
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxTq681RAjM

This, OP
Only decent way to die
>> Anonymous
FUCK YOU WASTE OF HUMAN FLESH.


Start surviving. Start boxing or a martial art. Start filling you veins with testosterone.
>> Kinesiologist
You are pathetically weak.

As someone who's survived the worst clinical depression any human can experience, I can say you're just wussing out. Stand up on your own 2 feet, double up both fist, and fight. Find out what's causing your depression. There is NOTHING YOU CANNOT FIX ABOUT YOU.

Attitude is everything. You're just wanting to punk out.
>> Anonymous
i believe people who have depression have it because they don't see any other way to live

you never see elite athletes with depression because they have found a way to live
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>362172
>As someone who's survived the worst clinical depression any human can experience

Yeah, okay. Because you're perfectly capable of quantifying subjective experiences that you have never experienced.
>> Anonymous
>>361387
three months without love? Then why havent I killed myself 10 times? bullshit.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
depression is a myth, used by white rich kids as an excuse because they havnt got any real problems, grow up or fucking kill yourselfs.
>> Anonymous
9 minutes till you are past the point of serious brain damage and dead.

Enjoy getting raped in the anus by bubba the fat satannigga
>> Anonymous
>>360939
As the sibling of a suicide victim with clinical depression, let me weigh in a little here.

My brother tried a lot of meds but refused to stay on any of them. It was after he was off them for 2-3 weeks that he killed himself. There were still plenty of medications he never tried yet. One of them might have worked. He was also waiting for the 'perfect' medication with no side effects, but they all have some side effect. You pick what solves the most of your depression issues and has side effects you can live with.

He saw a shrink and had group therapy but never opened up. In fact almost at the end I learned he never told his shrink that he cut himself regularly, something which I thought he would have told him first. He kept himself isolated and never really got the help he needed from the shrink or the group.

In general he missed out on life. It's been eight years since then and a lot of amazing things have happened. I got married, have two kids who will now never have an uncle. My brother always had money problems and now I am pretty fucking rich and could totally help him out. He even got a job offer after he died from someone that was out of touch which I think would have been his dream job (working in games industry). When I look at my life over that time period, I think I have experienced many cool things and wish he could have too. He missed out on everything by taking his life.

I don't blame anyone with clinical depression for doing what they do, but for fuck's sake you only have one life to live. When you have tried every medicine, every therapy, gotten second, third, fourth opinions on treatment, when you have visited every support group you can, then consider suicide.

It took me two years of therapy to deal with my brother's death and I think about him every single day. I always will. I miss him.
>> Anonymous
i felt like shit when i played video games
dropped video games altogether in dec 07, picked up crossfit and never felt better, picked up mtnathlete.com 2 months ago and felt like i could go through a nuclear war and still find a way out

it's people who live the same shit day in and day out that end up killing themselves, fucking drones
>> Anonymous
4chan: armchair psychologists.

Because remember, browsing an internet imageboard based around Japanese culture means you know more than thousands of educated professionals!
>> Anonymous
If I was going to kill myself I'd take a big loan, travel to Thailand or something and kill myself when I run out of drug and whore money.
>> Anonymous
>>362227

4chan is propably more intelligent and better informed than the average population.

Which means we know more about a bunch of shit than the average population.

Without 4chan I'd still be doing 12rep sets of curlz, and bench for "tone"
>> Anonymous
>>362203
>It took me two years of therapy to deal with my brother's death

surely i can imagine being said but fucking therapy? for two years? jesus your family is a bunch of pussy ass fags. Just deal with it and move on, no wonder your bro is dead, hahahahahahha
>> Anonymous
>>362227
>you have depression, that'll be 2 grand

that's what i think about your professionals. If you think practitioners are in it to make people feel better you're fucking retarded. They will come up with bullshit diagnosis of bullshit conditions so you can fork it over to get some mild sedatives. Might as well snort some coke with your money.
>> Anonymous
shoot yourself in the head
>> Anonymous
>>362248
Learn the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist before you make yourself look like even more of a tool.
>> Anonymous
>>362312
you have anger issues and severe retardation. For $500 i will prescribe you some drugs to help you with that. Or for $100 an hour you can tell me all about your day.
>> Anonymous
>>361007
manliest post i've seen from a depressfag
>> Anonymous
>>362410
paradox
>> sage sage
>>360939
the answer to depression is hedonism fgt

killing yourself is still cool tho
>> Anonymous
what type of bag
>> Anonymous
>>362436
it should be one of thoes grocery store bags that say thank you on it, or a walmart bag with a smiliey face
>> Anonymous
>>362450
lol

grocery bag won't work though, they got holes. a subway (subway sandwiches) bag will if you can get your head in. Good luck!
>> Anonymous
>>360939
You'll be unconscious in a minute or so if you keep inhaling that CO2 that you exhale. You'll be braindead in about 15-30 minutes. Just be fucking sure nobody finds you in time or you'll be a fucking vegetable from the brain damage.

Good knowing ya mate. May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows your dead.
>> Anonymous
I still find it funny how the majority of the "gene pool" douches are probably lardasses or skinnyfags
>> Anonymous
find psilocybes - they grow everywhere.
eat.
commit suicide in any way you want.
OR
find toadstool.
eat.
die in a week from major liver damage.
>> Anonymous
>>362375
Psychologists can't diagnose mental diseases or prescribe drugs. Try again.
>> Anonymous
>>362241
>>jesus your family is a bunch of pussy ass fags. Just deal with it and move on

Sounds like Junior is still living with Mom and Dad and thinks girls are icky.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>362630
bawwww my brother killed himself bawwwwwwwww
>> Anonymous
DRUGS
>> Anonymous
Bullet to the brain. Nobody wants your brain, and your organs will be fine. Buy a gun and give a store owner some business so he can feed his kids.
>> Anonymous
bump for depression
>> Anonymous
>>362602

I agree with this plan of action. However, once you've taken the psylocibes, you probably won't want to kill yourself anymore.

FEELS GOOD MAN!
>> Anonymous
ITT miserable people pretending they're actually insightful and strong-willed
>> Anonymous
ITT: HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEEE
I MADE MY MISTAAAAAAKKKEEEESSS
THE NIGHT GOES ON
AS IM FADING AAAWWWAAAAYYYYYYY