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Anonymous
>>404811
Fuck MRE's. They can go to hell. Before my first deployment I was used to eating really good home cooked food, and tons of fruit. They send me away and since our military is shitty and welfare, they basically just mailed MRE's along for us to eat. I am not a picky person, and after a bite or two I don't even notice the food any more.
The taste isn't the problem.
After about 10 days of eating nothing but old MRE's and sitting on my ass doing nothing, with only the intermittent trip to piss on a tree, or check if we could go home yet I started getting terrible, horrible, stomach pain, some of the worst pain I have felt in my life. So bad I cannot stand, walk, or even crawl. A few mates of mine saw the obvious distress and helped me over the field station. After a poking around, it was decided that I had some mysterious internal bleeding, and had become septic, as my abdomen was more or less hard as a rock. They decide I need to be cut up, to stop the bleed.
It is then that I realize I have not shit in TEN OR TWELVE FUCKING DAYS. While whoever is off trying to arrange transport to a hospital, I get my friends, despite their questioning, to carry me over to the shitter. I sat and squeezed as hard as I could. After about 15 minutes, it finally gave. Holy fuck. The shit I produced was easily 2 inches in diameter. For 45 minutes I shit, and did nothing BUT shit. I have felt a lot of pain in my life, but this tore apart my asshole, it hurt so bad I cried. After producing 5-10 lbs of extremely compacted shit, I crawled out of the latrine and promptly passed out.
Next day I was good to go back on watch. Friend of mine wrangled up an extra pillow and cut a hole in the middle, for me to sit on.
tl;dr Fuck MRE's
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