File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
My mom was bugging me about grandchildren the other day, and I told her that at this point in my life (26 y/o male), a girlfriend would have to be very good breeding stock for me to consider marriage & reproduction. I said that she would have to be > 5'9" (my height) to make up for my averageness. She would also have to be an above-average athlete, though I'm not sure how to quantify that. I'm pretty smart, so I figure knocking up someone that tests > the 85th percentile should produce a smart kid.

The goal is to have children that are amazing soccer players. What are some other measurables that I can look for?
>> Anonymous
Thank you for a good lol.
>> Anonymous
>>I'm pretty smart
>>knocking up someone that tests > the 85th percentile should produce a smart kid.

I'll give you a hint. Two of these bits of information are wrong.
>> Anonymous
>>157303
thanks for getting that out of the way. Now, what are some measurable traits would indicate natural soccer skillz? race and attractiveness are not relevant.
>> Anonymous
>>157330
You don't get it, do you? Well, if you want to tip the scales in your favor, I'd say girls with long legs.

Long legs are fucking hot anyway.
>> Anonymous
>>157338
And I'm just going to add, just because you get a kid that's physically geared towards soccer, doesn't mean they'll be good at soccer.

You forget the hard work, training, and dedication that goes into this. No one is born with a jersey on their chest.
>> Anonymous
>The goal is to have children that are amazing soccer players.
Enjoy your wife fucking a beaner.
>> Anonymous
why not tell your mother that it's none of her fucking business?

oh, i see that you're lacking a spine. i thnk that will be a real obstacle in producing your desired uberkinder.
>> Margaret
>>157286
>should produce a smart kid

I'll laugh if your "theory" produces someone who can't function and/or dies. Sorry. You are being a cocky bastard. Idiot. Get used to not dating or having "knocking up" a smart one.

Find yourself a nice blonde.
>> Anonymous
>>157338
agreed, long legs are great. Should I look only at the length, or should I also consider proportions?

>>157342
I've got that covered. The child will start training as soon as it can walk and will be immersed in the sport throughout its formative years.
>> Anonymous
>>157351
Uh, that would've been rude, and we're pretty close.

>>157362
That risk is inherent with any pregnancy.
>> Anonymous
>>157363
I consider proportions just because they look great.

Also, if it were my kid, I'd try to let them come around to wanting to become a soccer player. You force that shit on them, and they'll hate you for it. If their heart ain't in it, there's no dedication. If there's no dedication, there's no commitment or hard work.
>> Margaret
>>157367
Well sure it is. But it'd be funny nonetheless. Because he's looking for a smart/tall/athletic/awesome girl that probably doesn't exist. There has to be give somewhere.
>> Anonymous
Assessing your expectations, you should tell your mother you're not ready for marriage, let alone a family. Because you aren't.
>> Anonymous
I obviously don't want to get married, which I said in the OP. As I was explaining this to my mother, I described the superwoman that I WOULD marry, right this minute. You all suck at this.
>> Anonymous
>>157407
and I said, you wouldn't be ready for marriage, right this minute.

Forget the kid whose life you want to live out. Where the fuck is the parental instinct? Where is your sense of family? People like you are the very reason they need to create a licensing system for parenting.
>> Anonymous
>>157286

WTF? This isn't pokemon.
>> Anonymous
>>157286
I know what you mean. My mom does the same so I started dating a girl with 2 kids. "See ma, there pre-made". She called me an asshole. So to further contribute: LOL WUT?
>> Anonymous
>>157286

Catch a ditto. Then breed every woman that you can with the ditto and use metalkid's calculator to check the IVs. When you get 4 or 5 perfect IVs produce about 30 offspring and take the best of the lot, leave the rest in your PC.

Then it's just a matter of EVs. Raise speed to 252, that's a given, the rest is just personal.

In the end, you'll have the best soccer player ever.
>> Anonymous
>>157410
Isn't screening your mate the ultimate in parental instinct?

>>157423
hahaha, that's a good one.
>> Anonymous
Sorry OP, if you like soccer then you're probably gay. Your children are already genetically inferior.
>> Anonymous
You know op, you might want to look for someone who, hmmm, I dunno, played soccer? Just a thought. Hell just try and find someone who was a starter on their high school soccer team or something, you might just find a common interest.
>> Anonymous
>>157466
OH FUCK I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT
>> Anonymous
dont try to relive your lost dreams of glory through your kid, you fucking nut job
>> Anonymous
>>157435
It is, but it's your reasons for the screening that's cause for concern.
>> Anonymous
Is OP the same insane eugenics guy from a couple weeks ago talking about eating only plants that he grew in his yard and was imported only buffalo meat, all in the name of producing genetically superior offspring? B/c that guy was crazy, he said everything in his life was devoted to producing 'pure' children, and that his insaneness was a hobby equivelant to playing video games.