>> |
Anonymous
>>181288 >>181288continued "We went to the supermarket and bought a bunch, cluster, mess, or whatever-you-call-it of celery packaged by A. Duda & Sons in Salinas, California. Having returned home and trimmed off the unpalatable parts, we weighed the remainder one stalk at a time on our Cuisinart precision portion scale 757 grams total. Further research revealed that celery contains about 14 calories per 100 grams, so we were looking at 106 calories' worth of the vegetable.
We then commenced a rigorous regimen of celery consumption. This was tougher than you might think you don't lay into a plateful of celery with the same enthusiasm you might have for an equivalent quantity of barbecued ribs. After an hour I'd eaten eight stalks. (I was interrupted a couple times, thankfully.) All things considered, I think I packed away as much of the stringy stuff as could reasonably be expected. Total consumption: 514 grams. Total calories ingested: 72.
There's no easy way to determine how much more energy you expend chewing and digesting celery than you would if you were just sitting there. However, it's fair to say that when eating celery, you're using more energy than you're taking in. Bear in mind that you burn roughly 60 calories per hour while asleep, 85 while eating, and I think this is interesting 130 while doing "computer work." (I was tapping away at the keyboard while munching my celery; obviously whoever figured these things out understands the intense concentration required to produce this column.) According to one calorie calculator I found, I need 78 calories per hour just to support my body weight. The unavoidable conclusion? If I did nothing but eat celery and write the Straight Dope all day, I'd waste away to a twig."
|