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Anonymous
There's a lot of sad mis/fit/ channers here. Let me tell you what worked for me. I'm quite happy with life right now.
First, note that I'm bipolar. It runs in my family... my sister is also extremely bipolar. Yes, I've been diagnosed by a competent psychiatrist--this is no Internet diagnosis. If I could learn to be happy with my life, so can you.
Before I knew I was ill (and after, to be honest), I'd go from one mood swing to another. I'd be in suicidal depression for months, seriously contemplating suicide. Then I'd go on a crazy manic binge, staying awake for as long as 2 weeks. I was an absolute raving psychopath during these periods, but I loved it and it felt sooooo good. But the depressive crash would always come back.
To avoid the comeback, I got into drugs. I did it all... DMT, acid, mescaline, tons of coke, meth, heroin, K, and anything you can name. Being on a manic binge during this time was the best part of my life. Being on a depressive crash was the worst.
Then one day I woke up and decided enough was enough. I was sick of life's shit and always being so diseased. I took up running, which helped lower anxiety and depression. I also started eating right and sleeping enough, which also made me feel much healthier and kept my mood in check. I got serious into Zen meditation, which both slowed my manic phases (so there'd be less of a crash) and helped me through the depressive phases.
I'm now unmedicated and loving life. There's a million stories I don't have space to mention. I'm 23 and have seen some absolutely horrific things and have gotten through it.
I guess I'm just giving heartfelt advice. Improve you life. Eat right. Exercise. If you don't like what you're doing or who you are, change things. If I could do it, so can you.
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