File :-(, x, )
I cant do this no more Anonymous
Im bulking and I eat like oats and shit. Because of this I fart all the time. Like I crap 4 times a day and it's half gas half turd. Everyday at school I fart everywhere and I cant do it no more. Also I drink a gallon of water a day and I piss all the time. I sick of crapping at school and pissing all the time.
>> Anonymous
Then stop doing it.
You can't get everything for nothing.
Sacrifices my friend, you must make sacrifices to gain what you desire.
>> Anonymous
i fapped to your post
>> Anonymous
>>350825
wat
>> Anonymous
Hahaha you're pitiful.

You're not working out enough. You eat a lot of protein and shit and then you don't exercise enough and you have a bunch of half digested shit clogging you up. That's sick, man.
More squats. Work that motherfucker out. Let's say you weigh 200 lbs now, your calorie intake for the day is 3500 kcals or something and you're working out 3xweek. You want to bulk up to gain, say, 20 more pounds. You add 500 kcals to your daily intake with protein bars and more healthy eating and KEEP WORKING OUT hard and turn that motherfucking good shit into mussels from brussels.
>> Anonymous
Yeah but your could eat off your large intestines.
>> Anonymous
I'm in the same boat. I drink a lot of water and the change in my diet causes me to be very, very regular. Generally I don't mind farting, but getting up to piss every 2 hours and being in the presence of females all night, with farts brewing every 10 minutes kinda sucks because if you are watching tv or a movie and laughing, holding in those farts is a challenge. and they fucking STINK!
>> Anonymous
Gas-X
>> Anonymous
>>350831
I work out 3 times a week. I do squats benching deadlifts, ect. I've gained weight and im getting stronger but I still fart like crazy. They dont stink though :)
>> Anonymous
OP, just learn to fart silently. I fart 10+ times a day, and they smell like rotting flesh, but it's completely silent so I never get caught.
>> Anonymous
You faggots. RELISH in your farts. Man the fuck up. I never saw a thread filled with more butthurt self conscious homos in my life.
>> Anonymous
>I sick of crapping at school and pissing all the time.

I lold hard. Good job OP.
>> Anonymous
>>351009
My asshole is virgin so it's tight. Now do you fart silently?
>> Anonymous
>>351034

it's all in the technique.

1. spread.
2. release.
3. spread.
4. release.
5. repeat as needed.
>> Anonymous
This is the funniest thread I've ever seen.
>> Anonymous
>>351040
/fit/ - Fart Technique
>> Anonymous
man last time I was bulking I was farting 10 times an hour. Foul ones too. Had to do ab work alone cause that just kicked out room clearing ones :(
>> Anonymous
LAFFO I am a hyena right now my mom thinks I'm on shrooms, THANK YOU OP
>> Anonymous
Lately I have been getting really smelly farts...
>> Anonymous
OP try burping your farts. If you hold enough of your farts in you will eventually start to burp them out, and burping is easier too make silent than farting.
>> Anonymous
hommina hommina lench mob geuirrllasa
>> Anonymous
>>35103
if you're sitting down
1. Put on all your weight on your right ass cheek.
2. Lean to the right with your right ass cheek on the seat and your left ass cheek in the air
3. hold it in as long as possible before it 'fades' (you probably know what i mean), then fart slowly.
4. After doing this for a few months when in school, all my farts are silent now.
after doing this whenever i had to fart in school
>> Anonymous
>>351034

I think you answered your own question, there.
>> Anonymous
I have the same problem. My farts smell like an irradiated dead horse decomposing in a swamp. I have to walk around while I fart so they can diffuse.
>> Anonymous
When I'm gassy I usually go for a short jog (or walk if I'm at uni), preferably outside. It releases all the air.

I only have episodes of this though, not constant
>> Anonymous
Really really really rank farts mean you are eating correctly. Also OP your body will get used to getting a gallon of water a day and eventually you will stop pissing so much.
>> Anonymous
Actually, I saw a documentary on this like last month. Funniest shit I ever saw. It had this HUGE fatass claiming he had to much fibre in his diet causing him to fart, so he stopped eating fibre...
>> Anonymous
WHAT I DO TO DEAL WITH FARTS IN SCHOOL

-wait till i'm in the fucking halls and fart up a fucking hurricane

If it can't wait...
-Let it go like you're about to fart, then right before it comes out clench your asshole up, the fart will eeeeep out every so slowly and silently because of the pressure behind it, but your asshole is clenched. That is how you silent fart.

wiwth your classmates none the wiser...
>> Anonymous
Ok guys ill try some of the stuff here and report back tomorrow evening.
>> Anonymous
>>351159
lol
>> Anonymous
>>351148
Yeah recently I have been eating according to RDA standards so that's why my farts really stink.
>> Anonymous
I noticed whenever I'm sleeping in bed with a girl my body will refuse to fart even though I'm unconscious, then when I wake up and go to the bathroom I'll have a stomach ache and unleash a Wario-style fart nuke (it can be used as an emergency triple jump).
>> Anonymous
>>351154
Until it smells.
>> Anonymous
Man the fuck up, jebus...

I enjoy farting and always make a fuzz about it.
Needless to say im still a virgin
>> Anonymous
I think we've all missed the obvioius solution to this problem. Quit school, lrn2GED and lift @ home.
>> Anonymous
oh god this thread actually made me lol

I have the same problem, I shit 3 times a day and it's really taking a toll on my ass, and whenever I'm at work for some reason my bowels brews up some nasty shit accompanied with foul farts having to get released every 5 minute
it awesome releasing a really disgusting one in a place filled with costumers and then quickly move away
>> Anonymous
I need to piss every hour at least. Also my farts are fucking eye-watering. One time my dog was forced to leave the room
>> Anonymous
>>350809
Happens to a lot of people when they up their protein and food intake.

Buy some digestive enzymes (you can get a big bottle at GNC for like $20) and take them after meals. It cuts down on the gas and helps your digestive track function more regularly.
>> Anonymous
Can't stop lol'ing at this thread
>> Anonymous
>>351910
I love doing that.

I work at Wal-Mart and I love walking down the CD isle and letting one go. Everybody looking at the enlish music thinks the mexicans are the cause lol.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
http://rapidshare.com/files/83685951/Ori_Hofmekler_-_The_Warrior_Diet.pdf.html


read that if you want to not have gas yet still eat healthy.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
whut to do when your asshole gets sore from shitting so much?
>> Anonymous
>>351910
Fuck, I have the same exact problem at work, except I run the store alone, so I can't take a shit until my shift is over. It's horrible.
>> Anonymous
>>351930

and never develop a properly working digestive system...
>> Anonymous
>>350825
yes i also fapped to the post shit was so cash
>> Anonymous
Thanks for making me smile today, /fit/.
>> Anonymous
>>352600

this is sadly relevant to my interests
>> Anonymous
Op here.
Thanks for nothing /fit/. Today in class I had to poot so I tried to spread my ass cheeks and lean on one and fart. That ended up spreading my asshole making it tighter. So I let loose this loud embarrassing fart in class. I didn't care but I felt like an ass.
>> Anonymous
>>353265
What kind of fucked up asshole do you have? Spreading your cheeks is supposed to make for a larger opening.
>> Anonymous
I work at a small company, mostly everyone is male, so everyone, including my boss, fucking farts all the time usually aiming at someone, or loud for the rest to listen (and smell) in awe.

It's a warfare, I tell you.
>> Anonymous
dude, i started uping my protien shake intake to 4 a day (puts me at over 350 grams a day, about 50 over what my muslces can hold so i always get enough each day)

the minute i hit the point where i knew it was just over what my body could digest, i started farting like crazy. really bad ones too...

what a strange body function.