File :-(, x, )
In the mood? Anonymous
How do you get your girlfriend in the mood for sex?
>> Anonymous
Rape her
>> Anonymous
2 girls 1 cup.

/thread
>> Anonymous
>>467950
Beat her the fuck up for not doing the dishes, THEN rape her. Fucking virgin noob.
>> Anonymous
step 1. be attractive
step 2. dont be unattractive
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
Whip your dick out. If her jaw drops, she is ready. If she laughs, she will cheat on you.
>> Anonymous
thanks for the help
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>467963
>> Anonymous
Foreplay starts much, MUCH earlier for women. If she's not someone who can get revved up in half an hour through direct sexual stimulation, then you're going to definitely have to start working on her sooner.

Take time out of your day to deeply kiss her. Make sure it's at least 10 seconds long. Count. No pecks on the cheek or whatever; full on kiss. Touch her a lot randomly. Give her one or so compliments. Just do little things that lets her know that you're (the important part) 1). Noticing her and 2). Enjoying giving her attention and reveling in her presence. Even if you're not a touchy feely or affectionate guy, just upping it a little bit can help. Give her a hug. Smile and catch her eye. Give her one complement. Take a moment to make out with her (without wanting to have sex right after). Touch her once or twice. That's about all you have to do and at most, these little actions take less than two minutes throughout the day.

BUT IT WILL MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE. Affection eventually riles her up and makes her want you. You just gotta start building it much earlier than you think you have to. You can't just randomly turn it on and go straight for the gold every other night or however many times you have sex.
>> Anonymous
this morning I just started rubbing my girlfriend through her panties until eventually she was begging for me to slip my penis in
>> Anonymous
Rub my penis all over her face. I have a nice penis.
>> Anonymous
>>You can't just randomly turn it on and go straight for the gold every other night or however many times you have sex.
QFT
>> Anonymous
>>468319
Wise words.
>> Anonymous
>>468331
>>468331
LOL'd
>> Anonymous
I go chop wood while wearing a sleeveless flannel shirt and tight jeans. I occasionally pause to mop the sweat from my brow and beard with my hairy forearm.

Her doctors said that I shouldn't do that anymore, because I made like 4 eggs drop simultaneously, and if this continues she's going to go through menopause at like 35.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
She's always in the mood when I am. So I dont need to try.
>> Anonymous
>>468435
AND DEN WE GO FOR PANCKAKES VID SVEN AND LARS

YA! YA!
>> Anonymous
>>468319
You CAN go thru all this bullshit and work...
OR
Just hire an escort. Trust me, they're ready when you are. They know what it's all about.

inb4 horseshit, take the number of orgasms you've got from your g/f, that's A. Now add up all the money you've spent on your girl (including the shit you never would've gone for by yourself) and that's B.
Divide B by A. That's the price of an orgasm w/ your bitch, C.
Now look into hiring call girls/escorts and see what the price would be for a two good fucks per week. If you do this analysis over the long term, I GUARANTEE you the escorts will end up cheaper than a gf/wife AND you will get MOAR SEX.

TL;DR Fuck escorts, you'll save a fuckton over a g/f or wife.
>> Anonymous
>>468474
>I GUARANTEE you the escorts will end up cheaper than a gf/wife

No way.

I DJ'd at a strip club for awhile, most of the girls moonlighted as escorts. Minimum for an attractive, clean girl was 500. To be fair, I worked in a large, metropolitan city, so if you live in some Podunk midwest town, it might be cheaper. I don't know.

I do not spend 1000 dollars a week on my girlfriend. You drop a bit of change on girls in the courting stage, but after that, assuming you're dating an intelligent, practical woman, they'll insist on paying their share of living expenses, etc. You might even save money.
>> Anonymous
>>468492

During the Spitzer scandal I sat down and did the calculations for having weekly sex with an attractive, clean girl without getting arrested, and they weren't promising. The prices were understandably ridiculous, especially if you're skeezed out by white slavery and all. If you want to bareback it, you'll pay through the nose.

I can imagine escorts being a great solution to certain problems, but not the problem of spending money on a girlfriend.
>> Anonymous
>>468492
>>468501
Maybe you guys are right. I was doing that calculation based on the assumption that you actually marry the g/f w/ medium-sized wedding, settle down, two cars, house in suburbia, a child or two, and right up to the final divorce & alimony payments...

But if you take all of that into account, Escorts > Wives.
>> Anonymous
>>468508

Yeah, but people don't pay for a house in the suburbs, two cars, kids, etc. if those aren't things they want in life. It's not as if they're paying for all that stuff for the sole purpose of getting consistent sex.

If you want to compare it to a lifestyle, the comparison with barhopping/clubhopping/casual dating would be more apt.
>> Anonymous
>>468492
assuming you're dating an intelligent, practical woman, they'll insist on paying their share of living expenses
Hahaha, you got my hopes up, but these don't exist.

>>Minimum for an attractive, clean girl was 500
>>an attractive, clean girl without getting arrested, and they weren't promising. The prices were understandably ridiculous
WTF? When did pussy get so expensive? IT'S PUSSY. You put your penis and a moist hole and pump until climax. OMFG YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR IT. WTF OVER500?!

>>especially if you're skeezed out by white slavery and all
I LOL'd
>> Anonymous
>>468492

In DC it's $100-300 for a clean attractive girl, I should know I do it all the time
>> Anonymous
Equally fun tactic
1.learn what arouses her (nibble the nape of her neck, tongue action, rubbing her tits, whatever)
2. torment her throughout the day
3. stop just as she really gets into it
4. get jumped as you walk out of the shower
5.????
6.profit
>> Anonymous
>>468327
More like this
>> Anonymous
I kiss her passionately, move my arms up and down her body. Keep kissing her and move my hands up her top and fondle her tits. I move her hand towards my crotch and I slip my hands down her panties. Start fingering her and she is begging for me to fuck her before I know it.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
kiss her tell her you dont want to have sex just kiss a lil bit, then kiss her neck sort of suck but dont leave marks do that for like 8minutes dood
>> Anonymous
Fail thread is fail, all the way around guys. I am so disappointed in you /fit/...

OP: I give her a nibble behind the ear.
I don't suggests kissing your GF deeply for 10 seconds. Please. My girl would probably start laughing about half way through. So would I.

>>467963
Fuck being attractive. She is your fucking girlfriend. If she doesn't find you attractive, well.... Move on.

>>468474
Escorts are kinda lame. I will explain later.

>>468492clean girl was 500.
wat.

Was she actually Julia Roberts? Jesus.

Anywho, there is a much better option than escorts. It is called match.com and craigslist.org. The cost is likely dinner and movie for the initial, then you get into the sack, then every "date" after that might be netflix at home. Rinse and repeat.

OK story time.
As to the escort option, if you wanna do it right, go to Thailand. Get it all the fuck out of your system for like a month. Two girls at once, three, all holes. Whatever.

I once had a girl with her tongue up my ass while I was fucking another girl at the same time. Fucking awesome. My total cost for that particular night was about $40. When I came like a fucking firehose, I tossed their asses out, showered, crashed for an hour, then met up with friends and played pool all night. That was fuckwin.

A few more times, I just would party up, and some girl would pick me up, and I wouldn't "pay" for it, but here is the deal. In Thailand, there are three kinds of women. Full pros, freelance, and the most dangerous type "looking for a nice guy". Believe me, you are safer with prostitutes.

A typical freelance pro in Thailand will run you about $5 for head, $10 for full service. NEVER put your penis into anything without a rubber, or enjoy your AIDS. The ones behind the glass go for $50-$100 and up. I fucked a lot of 9/10 and 10/10s. Way out of my league.
>> Anonymous
>>468592

>most dangerous type "looking for a nice guy"

What do you mean by this?
>> Anonymous
>>468592
SHIT. I knew most things good are cheaper overseas, but 40 bucks beats even a goddamn porno subscription.

I must learn your tricks of the trade, sir.
>> Anonymous
>>468606What do you mean by this?

Glad you asked.

the "looking for a nice guy" type is the biggest trap you can fall into in Thailand. (besides a real "trap" that we all lulz about on 4.chan, another topic for another thread, but I digress)

"looking for a nice guy" types likely work in some form of the tourist business in thailand, as guesthouse owners, tour guide workers, waitresses, etc. They are all sweet and nice until they have their claws in you, then weasel you out of money, while supporting their other husbands/boyfriends and families on your vacation fund. Don't do it!
>> Anonymous
>>467942
Boyfriendless girl, here. /r/ more pics like this one. They always get *me* in the mood.
>> Anonymous
>>468624
Girls being lying biotches doesn't seem like it's unique to Thailand.
>> Anonymous
>>468623I must learn your tricks of the trade, sir.

There are cheap flights going out of LA-Bangkok for some reason recently. Like $600rt. I have written travel guides over on thorntree several years ago that were pretty well received.

tl;dr

1 month vacation in Thailand for $2000USD
get to BKK, see sights for 2 days, then overnight train to chiang-mai. Rent guesthouse for entire month (you will leave earlier, but it doesn't matter, it's cheap). Find decent non fucking losers to hang out with, club, see sights, hiking and shit, and bust nuts for 3 weeks. bus/boat to islands and spend last week in Ko Samui/Ko pagnan learn to scuba, bust many nutz, go home.
>> Anonymous
>>468630Girls being lying biotches doesn't seem like it's unique to Thailand.

True, but it is an art form there. And a major part of the Thai economy. My sad tale was brief and cheap compared to some.
>> Anonymous
>>468635
Sorry to hear of your previous troubles... But looks like you've pretty much MASTERED the social necessities of life (ie. sex).
>> Anonymous
>>468641
Well, hey. It was my first time going there. I played, let my guard down, and got played. Wasted about $1000, and a few months. The second and third time I went, I had a game plan. The plan worked. Plans are good.
>> Anonymous
>>468624

Speaking of Thai traps, where do you pick them up over there? Are they really as good looking as some of them are in the pornos?
>> Anonymous
>>468649Speaking of Thai traps, where do you pick them up over there? Are they really as good looking as some of them are in the pornos?

Everywhere. I don't swing that way, but I gotta tell you, I was fooled many times, even up close. The adams apple is the only "tell" for some of them. I saw some incredible looking ones, and some fugly ones. I am sure the porn ones are cream of the crop.

As far as I know, nearly all the traps operate as pros or freelance, and the rates are likely the same. in Thailand and all of south east asia, most gay guys go drag. SEA is more tolerant in practice than north America, for sure. Officially, they still face discrimination, I am sure.
>> Anonymous
>>468654
are there any white girls in thailand?
are they more expensive than asians?
>> Anonymous
>>468654

Delicious traps everywhere? EVERYWHERE?

WOOOOOOOOOO YEAH BUDDY! I'm going to Thailand!!
>> Anonymous
>>468660
I hooked up two times with other tourists. Lots of british chicks, Israeli chicks, canadian chicks, kiwis/aussies.. . But I was really there for the local food, if you catch my meaning.

There are basically no other nationalities in the sex trade other than thai. The wage is too low, I guess.
>> Anonymous
>>468663
damn not really a fan of asian girls (no racist)
but fuck, i still wanna go to thailand i can still close my eyes and imagine she's white
>> Anonymous
In fact, as I recall, there were a few (I never actually saw one) Russian and Polish women working as prostitutes there, but there was a catch. . They were likely REAL expensive because they were basically earmarked for outrageously rich travelling Thai/Chinese businessmen, who wanted white women. We all like strange, see?
>> Anonymous
>>468666
In the "behind the glass" type places, you can get some pretty fair skinned and round eyed ones (plastic surgery is "relatively cheap"). I love asian women, so that was not a deal maker/breaker for me.

I totally threadjacked this one, sorry OP.
>> Anonymous
>>468669
more like threadsaved. pls continue your tales from thailand
>> Anonymous
>>468669
Hijacked? No man. I'm sure there's more than a few bros here that could use your tips for those times when our gf's are being bitches.
>> Anonymous
Like games?
join lms-rpg.com
here's my referral link
http://www.lms-rpg.com/register.php?referral=true&referrer=3

or if you prefer just register without my referral
http://www.lms-rpg.com/register.php

see you there.
>> Anonymous
Hit up eastern europe for cheap hot white girls. Hell even in germany there are fucking hot women to be had for reasonable prices as they are all imported from eastern europe :p
>> Anonymous
What about underage girls? I'm not interested myself, because I like full grown women, but a discussion about Thailand sex tourism is never complete without a firsthand account of CP
>> Anonymous
>>468676
I never saw it, as it is pretty much underground, nor was I wanting to see it. About once a month, they show live television newcasts with some pedo in a jump suit and about 4 thai policemen standing behind him.

On a funnier side note, it is hilarious seeing the fucking crusty old widowed/divorced dudes with 20 year old hotties. You just gotta laugh. Both parties are getting exactly what they want out of the deal.
>> Anonymous
In australia they will prosecute you when you get back home, even if it is legal wherever you do it.

Providing you get caught that is.
>> Anonymous
>>468592

Do you wear a rubber when receiving oral from them? How long is a full service session? Can you party all day with an escort and how much would that run?
>> Anonymous
>>468693Do you wear a rubber when receiving oral from them? How long is a full service session? Can you party all day with an escort and how much would that run?

Always wear a rubber for anything but a handy. (A good deal if you are in BKK, as the place is fucking huge and uncomfortable for me for some reason, outside the behind the glass patpong areas)

Full service is usually a 2hours. Most free lancers give you all night for full service. After a while though, one or two pops is enough. The hottest girl I ever fucked was at the end of a huge run, like 2-3 pops per day for a solid week. I fucking blew it, and only had the joice for one pop. Still, she was a godess. I can get a 7/10 back home, and she was an 11/10. I swear to god.

I had a german friend who picked up a 20 year old freelancer from pataya. He went all over the place with her, for about 2 months. He paid all her expenses (food, drink, shared accomodation) and I think about $500 a month. I cant tell you the day rate, but we are likely talking about something not much more than $40-50 bucks, I wuold think. Probably closer to $30...

Gents, I gotta sleep.
It's been a nice trip down memory lane. Hope you get the chance to go there.
>> Anonymous
>>468693
hahaha oh man, you're seriously thinking about this!!


as am I, friend.... as am I......
>> Anonymous
>>468711

Thank you sir, you don't know how much you've helped this anon. +2 internets for your services
>> Anonymous
>>468715

Yea man, I've been saving up for a vacation for a while now, been thinking about a cruise or going to europe, but fuck that shit, I'm going to Thailand