File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
/fit/ i have a dilemma, my GF might be pregnant, (very bad) and her parents don't believe in abortion. we used a condom and she was on BC but she is getting symptoms, and its worrying her,

if this all works out i was thinking of getting a vasectomy (viable option?)
>> Anonymous
>GF
>vasectomy

No, she'll eventually cheat on you like the whore she is, and you're not gonna be able to reproduce once you get into a serious relationship, and your wife will want to adopt a nigger from africa and you will facepalm yourself your entire life
>> Anonymous
>>360104
pretty much wins
>> Anonymous
>>360104

/thread
>> Anonymous
I am an expert when it comes to this, simply because it has happened to me dozens of times.

The mere PARANOIA about being pregnant can cause a girl to show symptoms. It is very important that you understand that you can trick your body into thinking that it is pregnant.

My parents are also anti-abortion, and being the 17 year old that I was, I had no choice. I once believed I was pregnant and missed my period for two months. My breasts were sore and I gained weight. I was sure of it, and I planned to kill myself. When I began to come to terms with the fact that I would be ending my life, I got my period. I was not pregnant.

Please don't get to that point. Go buy two pregnancy tests. Use one today, and use one the day after tomorrow. If they are both negative, it's almost certain that you're good. If that doesn't settle it, you can go to a free clinic and have a doctor check. It's all completely safe and fool-proof –– if you're careful, her parents will not find out.

To reiterate: Everything is going to be just fine. Just calm her down and let her know that there is a good chance she is not pregnant.

And from now on, use BOTH condoms AND birth control. Just for the peace of mind.
>> Anonymous
>>360104
if she is pregnant, tell her parents the father is a chorney
>> Anonymous
falcon punch
>> Anonymous
Just do what my buddy did, knee drop her in the stomic.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Problem solved.
>> Anonymous
1. Take g/f to fair.
2. Have her ride the zipper, like 10 times.
3. ????
4. PROFIT!

Seriously, it'll give her a miscarriage. I did it to myself, and it totally worked. No child can survive that shit.
>> Theodore Roosevelt !!J8LZ2zthmwi
     File :-(, x)
Problem solved.
>> Anonymous
Who cares about your parents? You don't need their consent for an abortion. Unless you live in one of the shit states.
>> Anonymous
>>360101
First things first:

1. Go to a free clinic with your GF and have them confirm if she is pregnant or not.

2. If she is, start preparing to be a dad. Help your GF out. You two are in it for the long run and you will have a kid who loves you and depends on you, so don't fuck it up.

3. If you think she cheated, ask for a paternity test. You don't need her consent, just bring Jr. in to the doctor's with you and they can check stuff out. No need to rub it in her face that you don't trust her (trust her, man).

Vasectomies almost work, but it isn't a sure thing. Sometimes they don't "take" and you aren't shooting blanks. Why do you want one? So you don't knock her up again in the future?

I think it's great you used a condom and she was on the pill. But when you fuck, no matter how responsible you are, you have to accept the possibility that you will be fathering a child. Might be the time to man up and prove you can be World's #1 Dad.
>> Anonymous
tell her to take 10g of ascorbic acid every day for 2 weeks
>> Anonymous
uh, how about get an abortion and don't tell the parents. or else enjoy your shitty life as a dad with kids you don't want and a nag who will take a third of your paycheck for 18 years
>> Anonymous
>>360399
Fuck off christfag, she's getting an abortion and that's that.
>> Anonymous
>>360461
seconded
I recommend taht u drug her than stuff her body in a coffee grinder n than drink it all... one guy n a cup the new internet sensation. DO IT!
>> Anonymous
>>360461
I find your virgin rage amusing. You will make a bizarre father someday.
>> Anonymous
>>360479
I'm a grandfather, son. People like you make me sick. Go back to your church and pray for a better brain.
>> Anonymous
Well, you had sex, and you have to deal with the fucking consequences. Enjoy raising your fucked up child.
>> Anonymous
>>360497
>WHY CAN'T I GET LAID
>> Anonymous
>>360495
It's funny that you say that with some authority. Being a white trash grandad in your 30s just means you are a miserable failure and you failed to raise your kids right. You even admit to it:

>>"or else enjoy your shitty life as a dad with kids you don't want and a nag who will take a third of your paycheck for 18 years"

So you life has been shit, you couldn't man up and raise your kids, and they repeated your mistake and now you are a grandfather.

I feel sorry for your kids. I hope your suicide is swift and easy to clean up.
>> Anonymous
F-F-F-FALCON PUNCH
>> Anonymous
Don't freak out too much, a lot of birth control pills cause symptoms of pregnancy.
>> Anonymous
Morning after pill. Or, abortion. Drive to the next state if you have to.
>> Anonymous
>>360461
what made you think that>>360399is a christfag? he said absolutely nothing that would hint at such a thing.... fucking calm down brah