File :-(, x, )
friends? Anonymous
sup /fit/,

This one is mental health related.

How do I get friends? I'm almost done college and I really don't know anyone. I have about 30 "Facebook" friends and about the same number on MSN.

When I entered college I had friends from highschool. Some have found new friends.

I have still have some close friends from highschool though, but this summer I stopped communicating with them (told them I couldn't make it to events they invited me to, didn't go on MSN, etc). I don't know why really. I just wanted some alone time maybe.

Now it's time for another year of college, how do I make friends? I know I should join clubs, but how do I make friends in my classes?

Don't a lot of people already have their own close circle of friends (pic related)? How does one get into this circle?

inb4 squats, "bawwwwww", etc,
>> Anonymous
squats baww

When you talk to someone, quit judging them as "Hmm will this person be my friend?" and just let it be natural. Quit being so awkward and stupid.
>> Anonymous
How about getting a part time job, might get some friends there.

Join a club of some sorts, I had hardly any friends and then I joined a war games club and I've met new people and started to make new friends.

My advice anyways.
>> Anonymous
It's not that you can't make friends, it's that nobody wants to be friends with you. Socially awkward people are avoided.
>> noko
baseballs and baseball bat for aznx
>> Anonymous
>>302995
wat
>> Anonymous
Clubs sports etc, you are bound to talk and make friends. Activities are also good there's usually something going on you can go to.
>> Anonymous
OP here.

thanks for the suggestions so far. any others?
>> Anonymous
>>302978
war games? Just out of interest what do you do there?

Also for OP, just try to act natural / confident I had/have this problem, especially with girls. Try not to think about what they think about you, but rather what you think of them. Think of it as they should prove themselves to you, not the other way round.

Hope that made sense. Also CURLS FOR DA GIRLZ
>> Anonymous
Ok, I feel like helping you out. The key is to avoid, like people have said, being awkward. My college roomate from last year was extremely prey to this problem.

Here are some tips to start at:
-Don't make fail jokes. This will always create an awkward silence which will most likely ostracize you from the group. The best way to be "funny" if your not talented is to expand of off others jokes. What matters is you don't want to put yourself out there TOO much, as this is where most people go wrong. Go with a safe joke that you know will make at least ONE person laugh. Even one is enough to stave of the awkwardness.
-You don't have to work on an entire group at once. You can befriend people one at a time, and for beginners, this is often the best route. Everyone doesn't have a beaming charismatic personality to win over an entire group with jokes and bravado, but that's ok. Generally being a nice guy, occasionally humorous, and fun to be around will net you friends for sure .
-Go with the flow. Don't try to get people to do things that people generally don't like. Don't invite everyone over to watch that awesome intellectual movie. Just go with the flow. Avoid being a pessimist or a downer. Drinking in college is one of the absolute best ways to make friends. The more you drink, the cooler you are. The important thing is to stay un-awkward even when drinking.
-Do not "creep out" girls. I cannot stress the importance of this. Do not touch them when it doesn't warrant it. Do not make sexual jokes when your not in the position to do so. You have no friends, so work on getting friends and than on getting pussy. Come of a nice and harmless guy. This will put you squarely into the much-derided friend zone. However, this is not a bad thing at all. Girls always have other friends you can work on later.
>> Anonymous
>>303015
-Laugh and smile at others jokes. This creates an aura of fun and ease around you. Like I said, the key is to make sure people understand that you are an easy going and fun guy. However, don't take it too far and laugh too loud or at things that just aren't funny.
-Many times, it helps to have a mental picture of how you would like to operate socially. Many times, people can become the kind of person they want just by pretending like they are that person. Before you know it, your personality matches what you set out to do. In situations your unsure of, think about your mental picture you want and react how you think you should react. Try not going with your instincts, obviously they aren't great. After a while, your social instincts will become much more honed.

Remember, these are just tips for social beginners. This is by no means how you should operate if your already socially adjusted. After you work on these things, you can start to try to induvidualize yourself. You can make more jokes that are out there and attempt more 'different' things.

Remember that the most important characteristics for social encounters are the following (to come of as a pleasant person):
1. Not awkward
2. Nice
3. Humor
4. Harmless

Even confidence isn't that important for what your going for. Those 4 characterists will help you make friends. After you succeed at making friends, you can work on getting "better" friends and what not.

Good luck.
>> Anonymous
>>303015
>>303017
thanks anon for the detailed response, thanks to everyone else too.
>> Anonymous
>>303015
>>303017
This anon tells the truth. For girls what I find works best is to keep a looooooong conversation going without any pauses / awarkness and throwing as many GOOD jokes in as you can. Don't be a faggot and make immature jokes. Sarcasm is usually the easiest kind to make.
>> Anonymous
>How do I get friends?

..hahahahahahahhaa


hahahahahhahaha


hahahahahahahahahah


...........hahahahahahaha
>> Anonymous
>>303029
Bullied faggot taking his insecurities out on others.
>> Anonymous
>>303035

You can't tell me you find the quote rather depressingly funny
>> Anonymous
>>303014
Play some motherfucking Warhammer 40k! but I make sure that isn't the only thing we talk about while we play.
>> Anonymous
>>303036
meh
>> Anonymous
I have this same problem, only I don't go to college and I don't see it as a problem.
>> Anonymous
>>303053

Online friends don't count. Join the local volunteer fire dept. or join a smaller gym in the area. Aren't there summer or fall programs at your college?
>> Anonymous
>>303091
>I have this same problem, only I don't go to college and I don't see it as a problem.
>I have this same problem
>I have this problem
>> Anonymous
>>303097
Are you a fucking idiot?
>> Anonymous
>>303100
Nope, I'm just someone that doesn't have your problem. I have plenty of friends, get girls all the time, and party every weekend.
>> Anonymous
>>303111
Have fun, then.
>> David of da Trotfoot Family
>>303117
I SENSE SOMEONE THAT JUST GOT OWNED BEYOND BELIEF. SOMEONE CALL THE PARAMEDICS.
>> Anonymous
>>303120
Or, you know, not.
>> Anonymous
>>303129
Lol you seem to think your pretty smart. Test scores perhaps?
>> Anonymous
>>303120

See>>303129
>> Anonymous
>>303131
I do, in fact, think my pretty smart.
>> Anonymous
>>303142
facepalm.jpg
>think my pretty smart
>> Anonymous
>>303142
Yeah, I think my pretty smart too.
>> Anonymous
>>303133
>>303142
samefag
>> Anonymous
>>303142
For someone that uses an awful lot of commas and pays close attention to what they type and such you sure are one hell of an idiot.
>> Anonymous
>>303149
wrong. I'm not the faggot who sages everything.
>> Anonymous
>>303146
I think he was trying to take the piss as the guy your pretty smart not you're pretty smart either that or he is retard.
>> Anonymous
>>303117
>>303153

No sage up there. and btw, similar sentence consructions get easy to pick after a while.
>> Anonymous
>>303152
>>303146
>>303145
You people are fantastically stupid. I was mocking:

>>303131
>you seem to think your pretty smart.
>your pretty smart.

My pretty smart?

Holy fucking shit.
>> Anonymous
>>303156
nice idea.
>> Anonymous
>>303161
im not seeing what ur mocking lolz
>> Anonymous
>>303152
>>303146
>>303145
ITT: Nauseating stupidity.
>> Anonymous
35 act

YOUR UP BOSS
>> Anonymous
>>303172
wat
this thread has derailed.
>> Anonymous
>>303161
hahahaha a bunch of faggots just got owned and now no one is responding
>> Anonymous
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Friends
>> Anonymous
>>303179
I don't think anyone got owned, because no one "got" that elaborate comeback.

Some retorts don't work on the internet. Like sarcasm (which is what he was going for).
>> Anonymous
>>303161
>>303179
samefag, yet again.
>> Anonymous
>>303111
Enjoy your AIDS and lost brain cells. Which equals stupidity.
>> Anonymous
>>303192

>>303111
>>303172
samefag. ive got brain cells to spare, but thanks.
>> Anonymous
>>303184
This.

And>>303015
>>303017
>> Anonymous
>>303199
Not samefag. All I read was your post. Girlfag though. And even though you THINK you have a lot of brain cells, you lose more and more everytime you drink. So... like I said, have fun with that. Enjoy thinking you have brain cells left to spare by the time you are about 30. You really don't and will seem like a retard to other people.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Does_beer_kill_brain_cells
>> Anonymous
Another interesting thread, shat on by faggots.

Good job, everyone. Keep it up and we could be the new /b/!
>> Anonymous
>>303222
True.
>> Doctor Thaddeus P. Westinghouse III, M.D., PhD !!szQToNGkp98
>>303213
Alcohol does not kill brain cells. Despite what the guy who logged into 'wikianswers' decided to write, alcohol is almost completely harmless to the brain, and what little harm it does cause (to dendrites) is repaired within hours by your body.
>> Anonymous
>>303213
we obviously have differing philosophies on life. you only live once, why not.

btw, try not to get your fucking answers from wikianswers you fucking moron.

http://www.wonderquest.com/BrainCells.htm

Anything phrased like the following:
"Yes,beer does kill brain cells. When you drink beer the alcohol goes to the brain and

kills some of it's cells. Every time a person is drunk he lost some of his brain cells.

When brain cells are killed they can't be replaced.

Yes,beer does kill brain cells. When you drink beer the alcohol goes to the brain and

kills some of it's cells. Every time a person is drunk he lost some of his brain cells.

When brain cells are killed they can't be replaced. "

Seems a bit unreliable, no?
>> Anonymous
>>303235
Not if you DRINK for hours. Fucking idiot. Fine, let me find an actual published article/book. BRB.
>> Anonymous
>>303213
some of the greatest intellectuals of all time were heavy drug and alcohol abusers.
>> faggot !kzxLmJyzX.
>>303244

Drugs helped create some of the greatest music ever written.
>> Anonymous
"3.6% of all cancer cases worldwide are related to alcohol drinking, resulting in 3.5% of all cancer deaths" (see alcohol and cancer for details).[15]
from wikipedia

This thread is derailed.
OP, just be confident when talking to new people. Ask questions about THEM.
>> Anonymous
>>303240
alcohol can have negative effects on the brain after chronic drinking for decades. However, I could drink myself into oblivion for the next 30 years and still be far more intelligent than you.

The decision to drink comes down to a combination of desire and fear, just like any other decision in life. Do you desire the effects of drinking more than you fear them? Do you want to party and generally have a good time, or will you cling to your beliefs that I DONT NEED TO DRINK TO HAB A GOOD TIME LOLZ GUISE.

FYI, I've been drinking for almost 5 years (started when I was 15). My test scores, accolades, and full scholarship tell me I haven't gotten any dumber over the years. In fact, I've experienced the opposite. I'm still getting smarter right now, something that will probably continue into my mid- 20's.
>> Anonymous
>>303238
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1845566?ordinalpos=3&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubme
d_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_RVDocSum
Scholarly abstract. Thanks for teaching me to use real sources. Are you in college? If so, at least someone taught you correctly how to argue. Congratulations.
>> Anonymous
>>303253
>Ask questions about THEM.

Seriously, this, right here. Nothing wrong with sharing a little information about yourself, but if all you talk about is your own interests, you're going to drive people away.
>> Anonymous
>>303255
>not explain the reversible brain shrinkage that sometimes follows prolonged abstinence

wat
>> Anonymous
>>303261
... -_- Abstinence means staying away from it.

That means that the effects are reversible if you stay away from alcohol for prolonged periods of time. Meaning about 10 years.
>> Anonymous
>>303015
What I don't get is how this friend zone operates. I've seen it happen, with myself and with other friends, but then there are also a large pool of stories of friendships becoming relationships, so while the friendzone obviously exists for some people, it obviously works completely opposite for other people.

My thing is, I want to create friendship before a relationship. I'm one of the faggots who cares more about personality and mind than looks, though looks help. So I don't really want to start relationships with girls I don't know. The girl I like is a long time friend, and even though I've been rejected and friendzoned, I can't get over her until I find someone I like as much, or more(Which I currently doubt is possible, I'm pretty obsessed.). And like the faggot I am, I don't want to start a relationship with a girl I don't like because I'm still in love with this other girl. I know its as easy as "go get laid casually, pick up some chick and then get to know THAT chick." but that just is something for whatever reason I can't get around to doing. Physical attraction alone isn't enough for me to be interested at all in a girl.

It seems like the only course of action I have is to make other female friends, and hope they are of the friendship to relationship camp, and not the friendzone camp, and that I could like that girl as much as the aforementioned girl, as me being a faggot, I wouldn't want to start a serious relationship with a girl who is "Second best" who I'd be comparing with the girl I love.

Any advice?
>> Anonymous
>>303255
Girl, you have no fucking clue. Like I said I have a full scholarship, not to mention the direct med program I'm in guaruntees my spot in med school. I've placed top 10 in multiple (6) national poetry and essay competitions aced every standardized exam i've taken without even buying a fucking prep book.

Point is, like it or not, I'll be a fucking success no matter what kind of drug and alcohol abuse problems I have. I haven't even mentioned my coke, ex, DXM, weed, vicodin, oxycontin, salvia, and a host of other drugs I take.
>> Anonymous
>>303269
hmm, I thought it meant that there IS brain shrinkage, which is reversible, if you are abstinent from alcohol
>> Doctor Thaddeus P. Westinghouse III, M.D., PhD !!szQToNGkp98
     File :-(, x)
>>303240
>Fucking idiot.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>303274
>guaruntees

Typical med student.
>> Anonymous
>>303272
You could try again. But you need to understand that there is an atronomically low chance that this is the one girl that is best suited for you.

However, I do see your problem. What you can do is for 1-2 days, TRY hating her. Just think of everything that she does that makes her not pefect. At the moment, she is ideal to you and that is just not reality. Think about how fucking stupid she is something. Think about how how not at all great looking she is. Think about how fucking off the wall she can be sometimes. Anything at all. Usually this helps you get over people much faster.
>> Anonymous
>>303260
Cant you go too far though? Like never talk about yourself and bore them or do people just love to talk about themselves?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>303274
>I haven't even mentioned my coke, ex, DXM, weed, vicodin, oxycontin, salvia, and a host of other drugs I take.

Aww, son, look at you!

YOU SO FUCKING HARD, BOY
>> Anonymous
>>303282
sigh, i dont type carefully, so shoot me. ive already qualified my writing abilities, so you can suck it.
>> Anonymous
>>303274
>I've placed top 10 in multiple (6) national poetry and essay competitions

"I win poetry contests" is now a meme.
>> Anonymous
>>303285
>Cant you go too far though?
>Nothing wrong with sharing a little information about yourself
>> Anonymous
>>303285
yea not everyone likes to talk about themselves, but the key is getting it out of them.
>> Anonymous
>>303291
HAHAHA OH LOLZ POETRY IS SO GAY ITS FOR GIRLZ AND WRITING HAIKUS LOL WHAT A FAGGETRY DIS GUY IS.

Poems are, in my opinion, the most complex and though-provoking medium for the written word. Given, all the emofaggetry that many people write is complete bullshit, good poetry still exists.
>> Anonymous
>>303290
No, really, I was being honest. You're a typical medical student. More ego than intelligence and too arrogant to double-check your work.

You embrace it, though, so relax. Nothing to get butthurt about.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>303274
It doesn't take much to do poetry.

Also...
>Girl, you have no fucking clue.
>Girl
I'm calling you out on being a fag. Guys don't say "girl" before making their statements. Reminds me of a black chick or a gay dude saying that.

Secondly. You HAVE mentioned them. Nice way to contradict the fact that you didn't, and you just did.

Third, you know what happens if you get caught. Doing that much will land you in prison/ a rehab place for a few years combined. Is it really worth it?

Fourth, and as I've stated before, POETRY DOESN'T TAKE A LOT OF BRAIN CELLS TO WRITE. IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD TO WRITE POETRY.

Yeah, didn't really say anything that would counteract what you've said, but you are still an idiot for doing all that shit.
>> Anonymous
>>303308
ah ok, just checking. But I do completely agree with you, im a complete fucking egomaniac.
>> Anonymous
>>303284
I've tried that, and like the faggot I am, her faults only endeared her to me even more. I've thought long and hard about the possibility she just isn't the one for me. But out ideals, while they are different, mix so well, our plans for the future, while different, are like two sides of a coin. I've tried for a couple years now to get over her, a couple times I felt like I was close, but I can't.

I am content with just friendship from her, I don't mind celibacy, but of course I WANT more. Personally, I'm more, at least now, inclined to find some way to show her I'd be a good partner, as opposed to trying to get over her, as I've failed at that consistently for years.
>> Anonymous
>>303288
Truth. And win.
>> Anonymous
>>303317
See, now that's your problem. Stop calling yourself a faggot. It makes you get down on yourself and lowers your self-esteem. You need to get that self-esteem to increase, but calling yourself names that others are supposed to be calling you isn't helping.
>> Anonymous
>>303315
You sound like you're not even nearly as intelligent as you want people to think you are.
>> Anonymous
>>303274
lolwut
medschool? Like that's difficult to get into.
Poetry is for faggots.
>Like I said I have a full scholarship
when did you say this?

>>303290
>ive already qualified my writing abilities
how? by claiming you've come in the top10 for poetry and essay competitions.

lame troll is lame.
0/10
>> Anonymous
>>303312
At the end of the day, your intelligence still doesnt even fucking compare with mine.

and btw, you dont know shit about poetry, so please stfu. read some keats, wordsworth, heaney, cummings, etc. Writing a fucking book isnt hard either, but writing a GOOD one is.

You need to really try to step outside your narrow ass perspective.
>> Anonymous
>>303325
I'm not serious about it at all though. I'm saying it because this is a chan and I'm talking about girls in a non-raep way.
>> Anonymous
>>303338
>>303312
Oh look, lonely teenagers arguing on the internet about who's smarter.

Protip: you're arguing on the internet about who's smarter.

I challenge that, as this is the case, you're both fucking retarded children.
>> Anonymous
>>303330
Yea, obviously anonymous internet communication isnt very reliable, so your just stating the obvious.

and im not already in med school, im doing my undergrad right now, which is what i have a full ride too (tuition, books, board, room). I said that i'm in a direct med program, meaning my seat is already reserved for me, but i havent yet enrolled.

and btw, med school is difficult to get into. The number of applicants rises every year while the number of open spots is static. out of the 3 main choices for grad school, med school is much more difficult to get into than law or business school.
>> Anonymous
>>303344
Well, thank you for letting us know that you aren't like most guys. Which is what guys say anyway, even if they are, so it's getting hard to tell who's lying and who's not now-a-days.

I'm not telling you that you are lying, just saying that in today's world, it is likely.
>> Anonymous
>>303355
What school do you attend?
>> Anonymous
>>303352
>you're both fucking retarded children
I'm 19. That doesn't compute. Try again.
>> Anonymous
medschool fag here, brb getting food.
>> Anonymous
>>303365
Can you buy alcohol? No? You're a child.
>> Anonymous
>>303355
so?
You could be getting free board because your family is poor.
Or maybe your family is rich and that's why you have a full ride.

Med school is only difficult to get into if you're going to a top school like Harvard. Everywhere else is easy to get into.
>> Anonymous
>>303355
Would you like your cookie now or later?

PS >which is what i have a full ride too
Wrong form of "to".
>> Anonymous
>>303369
if you're 18 or over you're classified as an adult.

0/10
>> Anonymous
>>303369
Can you get off the Internetz? Yes? Then please do, no one wants to read your writing anymore. GB2/b/
>> Anonymous
>>303355
militaryfag?
>> Anonymous
>>303369
Yes. In Canada.

And can you get off the Internet? Yes? Then please do, no one wants to read your writing anymore.
>> Anonymous
>>303377
Sorry, double post. Didn't think the first one went through.
>> Anonymous
>>303355
0/10
>> Anonymous
>>303370
no its a merit based scholarship. my family is rich but we have no legacy at the school.
>> Anonymous
>>303431
what school? Is it top-tier or shit-tier?

Also enjoying becoming a doctor. Work long hours and enjoy getting sued.
>> Anonymous
god dammit children stop derailing the thread, keep your petty argument out of this thread
>> Anonymous
>>303093
It's not online friends, warhammer is a tabletop wargame. Check out /tg/

Would go to the gym but I don't really want to start talking to people and get bad advise.
>> Anonymous
True story on how to make friends. Don't try to make friends. "Trying" to make friends is what losers do so they can bawwww about having none. Virgins "Try" to get laid, so they can bawww about getting none.

How do you make friends? You do shit. Read books, watch movies, get a job, take up smoking, go to the campus bar all the time. IFsomeone looks interesting, start a conversation. The number 1 reason people don't have friends, is because they're not interesting enough to have them. MMORPG's, 4chan, video games. Sitting alone in your room doing these things does not give you things to talk about, ways to relate to people (Other nerds are not people), or shit.

Do productive interesting shit and friends will follow. It's like women, once people see you're sell-sufficient and interesting, they'll want to get to know you.
>> Anonymous
>>303465
>Other nerds are not people

I lol'd
>> Anonymous
>>303015
>>303017
That was pretty much /thread right there.
>> Anonymous
>>303518
yeah
>> Anonymous
Little late, but--

Can we please make "I win poetry contests" a meme???