File :-(, x, )
My morning dump Anonymous
Hi /fit/

Today I took the most toxic dump ever. It all started as a normal poo, first a little clenching that told me to get to the toilet FAST, and once I had pulled down my trousers and was on the toilet seat bracing for impact, I pushed a little and it started to come out. It was a little runnier than usual, a little acid, but otherwise just a regular morning poop.

And then suddenly a smell welled from behind me that made my eyes tear. I shit you not, I was shocked that I couldn't see this gas, it was fucking toxic. I have never smelt something so foul before, as if something had been rotting there for three days. The smell actually made me daze for a while, and I was frozen on the toilet seat for a moment.

Then the smell was all around, and my brain finally go into gear. I held my breath, quickly wiped my ass (what was on the paper was green, fucking green and speckled with lumpy bits) and hitched up my pants. Then I sprayed some air freshener, ran out and closed the door behind me, all the while thanking god I live on my own.

Now I know the source of this. I drank about three liters of beer last night, and basically had a diet consisting of kebab the whole weekend, so I'm not looking for advice. I just think we haven't had a poo thread in a while.

Care to share some of your poo stories /fit/?
>> Anonymous
>I held my breath, quickly wiped my ass (what was on the paper was green, fucking green and speckled with lumpy bits) and hitched up my pants. Then I sprayed some air freshener, ran out and closed the door behind me, all the while thanking god I live on my own.

You forgot to flush....
>> Anonymous
Last night I drank one of those Heineken draught kegs and afterwards I ate an entire steak dinner. Needless to say I fucking clogged the shitter this morning. It was a new experience for me because I've never just clogged the john with straight up shit. This was all shit. All clog.

It smelled so god awful I wanted to puke. Then I got in the shower and starting leaving horrendous farts. The farts smelled not like farts, but as if the shower nozzle had started spraying buckets and buckets of rotten eggs all over me. It enveloped all of my senses.

I liked it though i'm not going to lie.
>> Anonymous
Why do we like the smell of our own farts?
>> Anonymous
>>103139
they prove our manliness
>> Anonymous
>>103139

they serve as proof that we exist
>> Anonymous
If you've ever had a stomach virus then you'll fully understand what I'm about to describe. So I was eating at my college dining hall and it was some wiener day where they had a whole bunch of sausages. So I had a couple and then I noticed they had footlongs, which I suspect to be the source of my stomach virus. At any rate I go back home and after a few hours I have to shit, BAD. So I go to shit and it's literally pure liquid. It sounds as if I'm pissing but it's shit. If I ate something 20-30 minutes later I would have to shit. This went on for about 4-5 days (I was on antibiotics, but they did nothing) until the virus ran its course through me.
>> Anonymous
>>103164
sounds more like food poisoning.
>> Anonymous
>>103175
Went to the doctor, he said it was a stomach virus. It seemed more like food poisoning to me too but whatever.
>> Anonymous
I once drank nothing put the liquor Blue Curaçao one night at a party. My shit was bright green the next day. I thought I was pooping toxic waste until I remembered what I had drank and guessed the two were related.
>> Anonymous
Lol, I had one of those.

I ate a $22 Donair, which was well over a pound of spiced meat, and had three pints of Red ale.

The next day, my god.
>> Anonymous
Could be this too.
http://www.drheise.com/purge.htm
>> Anonymous
>>103186

>Blue Curaçao
>shit was bright green

wat
>> Anonymous
>>103137

>I drank one of those Heineken draught kegs


One of the 5 liter ones I presume. I hope you're not talking about a barrel.
>> Anonymous
>>103209
Yeah, I didn't quite get it either, but I guess the blue is created from different colors, and one of the colors my body could absorb, the green it could not.

Also mindfuck - Blue Curaçao is made and tastes of oranges.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
The greatest feeling you can get in a gym or the most satisfying feeling you can get in a gym is the pump. Let's say you train your biceps, blood is rushing in to your muscles and that's what we call the pump. Your muscles get a really tight feeling like your skin is going to explode any minute, and its really tight and its like someone is blowing air into your muscle and it just blows up and it feels different, it feels fantastic. It's as satisfying to me as cumming is, you know, as in having sex with a woman and cumming. So can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am like getting the feeling of cumming in the gym, I'm getting the feeling of cumming at home, I'm getting the feeling of cumming backstage, when I pump up, when I pose out in front of 5000 people I get the same feeling; so I am cumming day and night. Its terrific, right? So I am in heaven.
>> Anonymous
>>103220

Yeah it was the 5 L one.
>> Anonymous
>>103119
Yeah I had to go back in later when I felt braver :(
>> Anonymous
my pee is brown sometimes
>> Anonymous
>>103568
That's how I like scaring the bitches that try and break up with me. I chew up some brown pills and red food coloring in my water and drink that shit. Then I make sure to rush into their bathroom while they are spending hours to get ready then I piss that shit in front of them and feign panic. The next day I call her and tell her I have AIDS and I'm sorry for not getting checked out sooner.
>> Anonymous
>>103568I'd be worried about that..