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Fatass
Hey /fit/. Starting Monday I'm getting up off of my lazy ass and starting to get fit. I'm 5 foot 11, and I weigh 182ish pounds. I want some help with a diet and fitness program please. I'm desperate.

I hear that there is a diet where you eat 5 or 6 times a day, and it speeds up your metabolism. Some guidelines to making one would be good, I.e. calories per meal, what foods to avoid etc...

I've got access to light weights, fitness mat for push-ups, jackknifes, sit-ups etc...

Please help me set myself straight.
>> Fatass
>>270145

Oh and picture related. I'm giving up drinking as well.
>> Anonymous
Lurk more. Seriously. There's like fifty topics on this a day, and we're all tired of replying to them.
>> Fatass
>>270158

Well I'm sorry this is my first time on /fit/. =/
>> Anonymous
>>270162
Don't worry about it.
Visit the bodybuilding.com forums as well. Priceless info there.
Oh, and start throwing away all the junk food in your house NOW - not on Monday. Don't even keep a scrap of it for "cheat meals", go out for those.
>> Anonymous
You can actually start by giving up the "I'm gonna start (insert-any-long/short-term-goal-here) on Monday" attitude.

Start shit right fucking away. No sense putting things just to feel like you're getting a "fresh start" in the beginning of a new week.

Stop being a Monday person and start being a NAO person.
>> Fatass
>>270185
>>270190

Thanks.

I would, but I'm helping my dad building some decking at the weekend, so I've got no free time to exercise. But I can diet I suppose.

What would be a good basis for the whole day? Preferably a program to lose fat effectively.
>> Anonymous
>>270145
starting Monday? Why not starting today? Oh, because you know you're not going to start Monday either, but are saying "Monday" so you don't have to admit to yourself today that you STILL FUCKING FAIL AT LIFE
>> Fatass
>>270242

Thanks for the de-movitation...
>> Anonymous
>>270247
He's motivating you, fatty - the longer you put this shit off the longer it's gonna take for you to shed that insane amount of fat you have.
Don't start Monday, start tomorrow morning. Building a deck will burn some calories too fooooool
>> Fatass
>>270261

You know what. Your right.

Fuck you /fit/. I love you guys.

How often should I eat?! I need to know.

Workouts I've got sorted.

Monday - Weights, situps, pull-ups and push-ups.
Tuesday - Cardio
Wednesday - Weights, situps, pull-ups and push-ups.
Thursday - Cardio
Friday - Weights, situps, pull-ups and push-ups.
Saturday - Cardio and Light weights.
Sunday - Rest
>> Anonymous
GOOGLE FUCKING EXISTS

Also, LURK MOAR fatty
>> Anonymous
>>270285

Eat at the same times you do now.

Starting some weird diet will make it 10 times easier for you to quit. Stick to the KISF principle: Keep It Simple, Fatty.
>> Anonymous
>>270285
MOAR SQUATZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
>> Anonymous
Here's an example of what I think you mean\

Pt 1: http://www.military.com/military-fitness/nutrition/get-lean-diet

Pt 2
http://www.military.com/military-fitness/nutrition/three-hour-diet

It's a diet where the food is good and you're never hungry, how epic.
>> Fatass
>>270432

Hey, thats pretty useful. Thanks.
>> Anonymous
>>270432
Those diets are shitty for all but beginners, but yeah, okay.
>> Anonymous
>>270489

I lost 20 lbs with it, I might be a beginner, but it's a hell of a start.
>> Fatass
>>270502

how long did it take you?
>> Anonymous
My biggest advice, is don't snack whatsoever.

I know some people say eat shitloads of snacks, but i find when i snack i eat shit by accident.

I make myself only eat in 2-3 sitting a day, i never eat outside of those.
>> Anonymous
you have access to that but do you have access to a grocey store where you pick out what you purchase?


live by these meals: chicken breast, turkey breast, turkey burgers, lean steak, TUNA, FISH(salmon or tilapia)and lean beef

I might be forgetting one or two things and if I did someone correct me but I have had one of those every day for the past 5 months other than my once a week cheat meal.

Key is to getting something that is lean and has plenty of protein.

Foods to avoid, I'd say avoid pasta and white bread, or bread in general, but with that said that doesnt mean you cannot have whole grain pasta once a week. Don't completely cut carbs, just keep them fairly low and make sure it is whole grain/whole wheat.

Also egg whites and oats, eat that shit every morning mothafucka

It really isn't hard, boring or repetitive feel free to spice up your food to your liking and switch up how you make things, for instance turkey burgers or you can even make tacos with the turkey meat

As for what else to eat with these lean meats just eat a shitload of vegetables and fruit, don't overwhelm yourself at the start and buy a bunch of shit you absolutely hate or know you wont want to eat. If I would of done that I would of been pretty turned off by vegetables like when I was 8 years old, so if you hate cucumbers, dont buy them.

Broccoli, lettuce, peas, BUY THEM

5-6 meals a day isnt really necessary off the getgo, if you are truely fat and have plenty of lbs to shed you will shed them at the 1-2 lbs going rate per week, just make sure you do get 3 in, and make sure your breakfast is your biggest meal

tldr fuck bitches get money
>> Anonymous
>>270606
Fuck tilipia it was recently discovered that eating tilapia is not good for you as it doesn't contain enough omega 3 while contaning dangerously high amounts of omega-6 fatty acid in it.

Sitck with Tuna,Salmon,Trout and Mahi-Mahi.

Source for the tilapia. I'm not joking about that.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/07/080708092228.htm
>> Anonymous
>>270639
Interesting. I'll be interested to see what comes of this in the long run. I'm not going to stop eating tilapia, but I don't eat much of it anyway so it's not a problem. I usually eat more salmon than anything else.

Note, too, that the imbalance of Omega-3 to Omega-6 in tilapia is primarily of concern to people with certain health disorders. For most healthy people, it's not nearly such a big deal. Also, for some people like myself with ADD/ADHD, Omega-6 fatty acids are helpful in non-medical treatment.
>> Anonymous
>>270592
the word "snacks" is used to refer to eating something smaller than what many people would consider a "meal". an apple with a nut butter spread across it with a knife constitutes a snacking-sized-meal. It just means smaller. Eat snacks lots. Your body needs fuel constantly, 5-6/d. It's not a god damn lithium-ion battery that can store a charge for 24 hours.
>> Fatass
Hey, guys. I just thought I'd give you a run down on what I've done today so far, just tell me if I'm going in the right direction or not.

So far I've had:

Breakfast: Porridge (oatmeal) with a fruit smoothie (I used low fat yoghurt instead of milk).

Lunch: Wholemeal bagel and bacon with fruit juice

Dinner: Beef Meatballs in a tomato sauce, (I turned down the pasta.)

All through the day I've been up at my parents house building a deck as I mentioned earlier, (Btw, I'm 19, and on holiday from University atm) it was a fair workout. Not too challenging, a bit closer to the easy side.

Oh and I've been drinking fuckloads of water.

How am I doing so far?
>> Anonymous
>>271759

>Breakfast: Porridge (oatmeal)

Is it straight up plain oatmeal, no additives? If so, good. If not, you know what to do.

> with a fruit smoothie (I used low fat yoghurt instead of milk).

No fat yogurt exists. Use it.

>Lunch: Wholemeal bagel and bacon with fruit juice

No, no, no. No bagels, no bacon, no juice. Final destination. Go for a salad with grilled chicken or (if you really love bread), whole grain bread (never a bagel, which is like - what? four slice) with turkey, lettuce, tomato, etc. No condiments.

>Dinner: Beef Meatballs in a tomato sauce, (I turned down the pasta.)

What kind of tomato sauce? Using canned tomatoes in their own juice works fine. Brand tomato sauce will have a lot of additives, presumably. Not crazy about meatballs at all. Chicken or turkey breast or fish would have been far better. Good on no pasta.

>All through the day I've been up at my parents house building a deck as I mentioned earlier, (Btw, I'm 19, and on holiday from University atm) it was a fair workout. Not too challenging, a bit closer to the easy side.

Fine.

>Oh and I've been drinking fuckloads of water.

Great! Cut out the juice, subsist on water and one or two smoothies (consisting of two fruits servings, non fat yogurt and ice) per day.
>> Fatass
>>271786

>No, no, no. No bagels, no bacon, no juice. Final destination. Go for a salad with grilled chicken or (if you really love bread), whole grain bread (never a bagel, which is like - what? four slice) with turkey, lettuce, tomato, etc. No condiments.

I'll keep that in mind. Salads and chicken/turkey/fish for lunch. Gotcha.

>
What kind of tomato sauce? Using canned tomatoes in their own juice works fine. Brand tomato sauce will have a lot of additives, presumably. Not crazy about meatballs at all. Chicken or turkey breast or fish would have been far better. Good on no pasta.

The female parent makes her own sauce using vegetables she guys etc...

I want to thank all the Anon that have given me advice and help here. I'll get /fit/.
>> Anonymous
>>270592
Maybe you shouldn't store your Snickers in the toilet, then
>> Anonymous
>>271810
hey, i'm the anon who originally demotivated you

i'm really proud of you, keep it up!

i started running and eating healthy after years of "oh i'll start next week" and never doing it

i woke up one day and realized i would have been jacked if i'd started three years earlier like i'd said

the secret is 99/1 ground turkey if you can get it (1% fat, 99% not) and FUCKING PEPPERS and onions and stuff

you can make healthy chili (experience the fucking fury of texmex if you'd like) and many of your favorite foods really healthy if you use turkey

turkey turkey turkey
>> Anonymous
also, dont forget, your body needs protein to build muscle or else it will burn it off instead of fat. once you can do a fair amount of push-ups and situps, check out p90x, it got me ripped and before that i did this http://www.royalmarines.mod.uk/server/show/nav.6827