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Anonymous
You are no where near as big a 'chubby sack of shit' as some guys who post here, but you could improve none the less.
To start, you should hit the gym, you'll learn a hell of a lot there and tell them you are interested in the 5x5 regimen. Secondly, stop eating shit food, eat 4-5 meals a day with plenty of protein and carbs, little fat, but don't entirely exclude fat either. Protein shakes and sprinkling some whey protein on oatmeal etc is a good idea either way, just be aware that this much protein added with some good lifting and considering your build already, will beef you up pretty well. So if you aren't going for the bulk look, then lay off the creatine and so on. As for cardio, google HIIT or just lurk around here some, it's probably the best excersize to help you lose weight relatively quickly.
In any case, build strength through lifting and make some muscles, eat the required amount of protein and carbs to maintain a metabolism and diet that will help break down and rebuild muscle, without adding too much fat, and run like a bat out of hell using HIIT to strip off fat.
That's about it. Good luck.
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