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Anonymous
>>475873
You guys are both lucky. I swear to god the damn seagulls have it in for me. It all started some five years ago while I was out jogging by the river. I ran past (and to some extent over) some seagull-babies that had fallen out of their nests and the seagulls just went batshit crazy and started shitting all over the place.
They literally followed me for like 9 kilometers coming out of the fucking walls trying to take shits on me but I skillfully dodged all of them.
To this day, every summer I get attempted shat on by those fucking seagulls at least 15 to 20 times, and I've yet to be hit by a shit. But the suspense is slowly killing me. I've kept this up for five years, who knows what happens when the damn seagulls finally get to spread their shit all over me. Who knows?!
I can't let it happen, I just... can't. And as a result I spend all summer looking to the skies, watching for seagulls..waiting for that inevitable drop of shit to come hurling at me that I must so skillfully dodge.
The pressure is getting to me.
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