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Anonymous
I second the bonding experience thing, doing it together as a couple stuff. It shouldn't just be about you keeping her on track. If you do get her into the gym, you'll need to take on a personal trainer role for her, at least the first few times - she'll be really self-conscious about the whole thing before she works out that exercise can be fun and feel good. She may just not realise that she is a "big girl", or she may have a case of inertia - she figures she's too far gone to be bothered about it. also, make sure you keep any gym stuff and exercise light for starters - so that she's not knackered by it.
If she gets like 'don't try to change me', try telling her it's cos you love her, you don't want to see her get sick because of her choices. I know you're upset that she doesn't seem to care, but you need to give her options, not ultimatums.
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