File :-(, x, )
Need crash diet FatAss
Hi, /fit/

I'm 5'8" 314 lbs and male. I want to diet down to around 130 lbs in time to hit the beaches this summer. Can you give me some advice?

Btw, don't tell me to squat or lift weights, because I don't want to be big and muscular. Also, I have asthma, so cardio is out.

Are there some diet pills, or maybe a protein shake, that I can take to lose all this disgusting flubber?
>> Anonymous
314 lbs, holy shit what the fuck have you been doing.

Just try not to eat at McD's everyday and you will start losing 10 year old fat...slowly
>> Anonymous
youre over 300 pounds and you want to be down to 130 by the summer....either crazy diet pills or surgery would be the only options...you cant lose that much weight in a couple months
>> FatAss
>>79555

Op here. I really do need to eat at McDonalds because I don't know how to cook and I'm busy. So, what I really need is maybe some kind of fat-burning pill, or maybe a protein powder, or... I dunno.

But I need to impress this girl that I know by slimming down by, say, August at latest.
>> Anonymous
>Also, I have asthma, so cardio is out.

Not an excuse. I have asthma and I do hardcore cardio. Man up and bring your inhaler.
>> Vul !!e95V2fmCESS
Don't even bother, this guy is probably a troll. Or a real life moron.
>> Anonymous
try fasting,see how long you can last without eating
>> Anonymous
If your not a troll stop being such a lazy fat fuck. I work all the fucking time too but I can find time to eat healthy and exercise.

Man up and do what needs to be done or enjoy your heart attack by age 35
>> sage sage
>I really do need to eat at McDonalds because I don't know how to cook and I'm busy.
>Also, I have asthma, so cardio is out.
>Are there some diet pills, or maybe a protein shake, that I can take to lose all this disgusting flubber?

Obvious troll is obvious
>> Anonymous
seriously if you are going to be a fag take the advice in your pic.
>> Anonymous
>>79550
Dude if you shot yourself in the head i don't even think your decomposed corpse would be 130lbs by the summer
>> Anonymous
cut off body, head weighs 140 lbs
>> FatAss
Op here. Okay, I'll struggle to do some cardio, even with my asthma, if that speeds things up.

Btw, I just saw an ad on TV about a device to help people do crunches. It makes it feel less tiring, while hitting the abs even more. I'm interested because I'm tired when I get home and really need an exercise that doesn't wear me out further, and since I need to lose quite a bit of fat off my belly, this would be burning fat in exactly the right area of my body.

Still, it costs $19.95 plus shipping, and I'm just a poor college student. Hmm. What does /fit/ think?
>> Anonymous
>>79617

I bought one of those, if it's what I think. It trimmed the fat off my abs, and now I have a girlfriend, after being a virgin for 28 years. I recommend it.
>> Anonymous
spot reduction?

RAGE!!

dont feed the troll
>> Anonymous
>>79585lulz

OP needs to to tape his inhaler to his face and go out running like a motherfucker because there are no pills or tricks that will take him from 314 to 130 in a couple months.

And he needs to learn to cook.
>> Anonymous
>>79617

If you want to get nice abs, it's going to be tiring. It stands in the face of logic for a product to say "our machine makes you work more but feel it less!"

Work out until you can barely stand. Daily. You can't be lazy while you try to lose weight.
>> Anonymous
2/10
>> Anonymous
worst troll ever, completely unbeleivable
-3/10