File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
hey guys, I need a good homemade laxative. Any suggestions?

in b4 shove a stick of butter up my ass.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
two big bowls of this.
>> Anonymous
>>277742
seriously?
>> Anonymous
Shit load of water. You shit may not be lubricated enough to get out because it is not properly hydrated.

But, if it's because of its size, anything from a fast-food restaurant would work [McDonald's Shamrock Shake works the best] , it usually works with me. Just make sure it's your cheat meal.
>> Anonymous !uz8u2XmvbY
Prune juice.
Lots of it.
>> Anonymous
aloe vera tea. you can buy it at a health food store or you can make your own, using an aloe plant. be careful though because it can be rough on the stomache. just experiment with it first, and see if its for you. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/aloe-vera/NS_patient-Aloe

aloe is the best thing for you. imo. even though the site says its not been viewed as safe compared to other laxatives.... it is safe. ive used it and it just takes getting used to. its not like you wanna do this every day right? lol
>> Anonymous
moreideas?
>> Anonymous
Sonic burgers, or castor oil.
>> Anonymous
Just eat a shitload of chewing gum (xylitol)

also http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laxative
>> Anonymous
There's a laxative tea called Smooth Move which is sold at Whole Foods/naturalist stores, it's not that expensive.

Or, try a salt water flush. 2 tsp of sea salt dissolved in 32 oz of water. (or 1 tsp in 16 oz two times) Note, that is a TEASPOON, not tablespoon.

If you do the flush, DO NOT GO ANYWHERE. In about 1-2 hours you will shit like a motherfucker.
>> Anonymous
-any of the breakfast biscuits from mc donalds works.

-have 1 cup of coffee in the morning, and chinese food for lunch. by 3 or 4 you'll be sprinting to the bathroom.

-taco bell. doesnt matter what you get.
>> Anonymous
>>278618
seriously? this works? cuz i wanna do that. i want to cleanse my colon but i dont want to go sit in an office while someone snakes a tube up my rectum.
>> toko !!y8bf9JBlrRE
>>278635
Yeah, this is actually part of the master cleanse. I tried and documented it for a bit as a way to clean myself out before following the Venuto book. I'm not sure on the amount of muscle loss vs. fat loss since I didn't have a calipers. It's definitely an interesting way to do it, since you deal with all the cravings for like a week on the master cleanse and then they're pretty much gone once you switch to the more stable diet outline by Venuto.

As for the salt water flush, according to the Master Cleanse that mixture has about the same salinity as blood, so it stimulates your colon for some reason. Personally, those MC guys sound like a bunch of crackpots when you read the book, but I took it all with a grain of salt while reading... just like the bible!
>> Anonymous
Lots of strong liqurice will do the job.
Working far away from toilets taught me to avoid those.
>> Anonymous
DUDE, smooth move is a MOTHERFUCKER, do NOT take it unless you like having a terrible stomach ache

just eat some collard greens! that will widen your asshole like nothing else
>> Anonymous
>>278635
dude if you have a colon problem, its mandatory for your health to get scoped about once or twice a year. depending on the severity of your issue. i know i just got scoped, and i was eager to do it too, i thought i had a hole somewhere. lol... a cleanse is always good though, just make sure you get a real legitimate cleanse kit. because some are better than others, and some are pure crap. i actually got mine at Whole Foods.
>> Anonymous
mix 2 spoons of salt with 32 ounces of water. wait 20-45 minutes (in the bathroom) and you're done!

seriously, wait ion the bathroom. by the time you feel the urge to shit, you'll already have it in your pants.
>> Anonymous
>>278672

forgot mention that you need to chug the water. it'll taste bad, but it'll clean you out.
>> Anonymous
>>278666
i dont think i hav a colon problem... i just want to experience the cleanse. see how much different i feel. i probably dont get enough fiber currently, but that seems to vary month to month
>> Anonymous
oatmeal with flax meal and a banana mashed up in it makes me shit every time
>> Anonymous
>>278678
protip: you'll feel weak cause you just had diarreah.
>> Anonymous
Cat shit.
Seriously, eat it.
>> Anonymous
Use the shower to give yourself an enema with lukewarm water. It's fun!
>> NO NO NO NO NO NO Anonymous
>>278734
DO NOT DO THAT. you can rupture your rectum dude. sure itys fun to be naughty in the shower, hell ive even tried it once. but one day i felt a "POP" and i went fukin crazy i thought i was literlly gonna die. i never prayed so hard in my life. fuck oh fuck me man you just brought back some bad memories for me. man i even made an unnoficial will, and a death note, on my computer and made it my only icon on my desktop, so when someone turned it on its the first thing they saw......last word DO NOT GIVE YOURSELF ANEMA IN THE SHOWER!!!!!!!!
>> Anonymous
>>278756
but.... what if the water is on lite? wouldnt it be the same?
>> on lite? Anonymous
DO NOT GIVE YOURSELF ENEMA. only have it done professionally, or by a SKILLED person, who knows how to give an enema.
>> Anonymous
>>278826
sorry i meant low pressure. they make shower heads with like... gentle settings and stuff. couldn't one of those with a stuff stuck in the bum be used to give a low grade enema?

and what about enema kits that you can buy? why wouldnt one of those be safe and effective?
>> Anonymous
>>278837
oh. it dosnt matter. being in the shower does not mean you give your self and enema, regular or low powerd heads... and the difference between a kit and a shower head is...........
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...a kit has instructions. :p