File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Alright /fit/,

I just had one of the most painful, horrifying shits of my life.

I sat down and it felt like any other shit as it neared the end... something was wrong. It didn't want to eject, it just stopped dead in its track. My asshole didn't want to stretch to release it, the motherfucker was a truck.

Anyway, after some squeezing and even looking in the mirror to make sure I wasn't shitting out a fucking fossil, I decided that if I tried to use any further conventional way of shitting that I'd have an anal prolapse and have to go to the emergency room.

I went into the shower, turned it on and squatted down, trying to see if the warm water would help either a) my anus relax or b) the tip of the shit disintegrate. That didn't work either.

Being that I was already in the shower, I stuck one finger up and tried to get any little chunk that I could so I could help the whole thing drop into the shower. After some fiddling, it finally dropped.

Man that fucking thing was a beast, the damn shit wouldn't even bleed when I put the shower faucet onto it in an attempt to help it go down the drain. I had to stomp the motherfucker like Edward Norton in AHX.

So... my question, /fit/, what was it inside of what I ate last night which made my shit so immortal? Or... what do I need to include in my diet to NEVER HAVE THAT HAPPEN AGAIN?
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>> Anonymous
Why did you force the poo down the shower?! You could have moved it to the toilet..

Also, the answer is always: MOAR FIBER
>> Anonymous
man...jesus I dunno. looks like your shit drug the nasty shit thats been clinging to the sides of your intestines for a loooong time
>> Anonymous
i'm going to go ahead and guess that you have lupus.
>> Anonymous
>>72595
I don't know man, like I said - I hit that shit with the water beam at full force and it wasn't fucking dissolving at ALL. At that point where "moving it to the toilet" sounded like a good idea... it was too late for the damn shit was like oil and wasn't coming off of anything.

I had to rub it off with my big toe, using the water beam to get anything I moved and take it down the drain. I feel like the entire experience has made me stronger.
>> Anonymous
So where are the pictures?
>> Anonymous
Fuk I lol'd
>> Anonymous
Oh wow. Thanks for the lulz. Try an enema or something next time.
>> Anonymous
>>72626
alright well seriously, take pics next time.
>> Anonymous
>>72656
>>72628
I really don't hope there's going to be a next time where I can take pictures.
>> Anonymous
So fiber helps my shits not be fucking rocks? I thought fiber just made it so they weren't water.
>> Anonymous
>>72704
Go to the market and buy several boxes of this cereal called Fiber One. No dicking around either, get the original stuff that says it has 57% of your day's needs. Now, go home and eat a cup and a half of the stuff. If you think thats too much, eat at least a cup. I hope you get more fiber through other stuff, but that should help significantly.
>> Anonymous
im glad the shower squatz worked out for you
>> Anonymous
>>72704
You're an idiot. Shit water? Go get sterilized, now.
>> Anonymous
The mental picture of you looking into your asshole from the mirror nearly made me wet myself in laughter.

I hope you're happy
oh and EAT MORE BREAD
>> Anonymous
Are you serious? You took a shit in your bathtub, then you stomped it down the drain?

Are you serious?

Do I sense a fucking win on MY /fit/?
>> Anonymous
Sauce on the OP pic? I've been looking for this for months.
>> Anonymous
>>72974

I used to do that in the shower when I was a kid.

True story.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
"My last shit was epic."

This happened to me once. I thought I was gonna die on the can! It was more pain than I'd ever experienced in my life (and I've broken bones). It's a legitimate phenomenon.

sage for Poop TMI, however, here's some advice:
Chew your food, drink plenty of water, consider adding dates/prunes and oatmeal to your diet for regularity, and for God's sake, poop on a regular basis!
>> Anonymous
>>73179
http://strangepaths.com/2007/01/en/
I figured I was shitting dark matter so the picture was fitting.
>> Anonymous
Thanks OP for the epic story, I got much lulz out of it.
>> Anonymous
On no, now I need to shit badly...
>> Anonymous
shit was SO cash
>> Anonymous
happened to me too. I asshole couldnt stretch enough. took me like 30 minutes. but the shit was not even that long.
>> Anonymous
use fitday.com and keep track of what you eat
>> Anonymous
OH GOD IT'S LIKE GIVING BIRTH
>> Anonymous
All my turds are like... foot and a half long.

Not like rocks though.
>> Anonymous
Your anus is clearly too narrow and tight to pass fecal matter of a certain size.

I recommend an anal sex regimen to help loosen you up. If you're unable to engage in anal sex, try butt plugs for several hours a day
>> Beaver !D8rQiV7xz.
High fiber and lots of water.

If problem persists, see a GI.