File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Sup, /fit/. I have recently read a few books on the subject of the possibility of a zombie apocalypse (World War Z, The Zombie Survival Guide, ect.). These books have made me paranoid enough to get in shape.

Here is where you come in /fit/. I'm not really fit, nor am I fat. My goal is to turn my body into the ultimate zombie apocalypse survival tool.

Here is what I need to be able to do:

- Run faster than zombies (they don't tend to run that fast most of the time because of rotting flesh) and more importantly be able to run for a long time.

- I need strength. I don't need big muscles or the ability to bench press over 9000 lbs. I need to be able to pry the living dead's unrelenting grip off my body quickly. I need to be able to hit a zombie with a blunt object hard enough to collapse its skull and destroy its brain.

- I need to be able to be flexible so I can escape dangerous situations. I need to be able to twist myself in almost any position to fight off the hordes of unfeeling undead.

- I need to be able to jump like never seen before. I know this is not mentioned much, but I believe the ability to jump high and far will improve my chances of survival.

I ask of you /fit/, how may I achieve these goals before it is too late?
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>> Anonymous
This is relevant to my interests.
>> Moonmauler !!LgNbdvCFAuN
>>96489
Eat healthy.
Run a lot.
Lift heavy compound exercises.
Stretch.
>> Anonymous
Perhaps some training in martial arts will help with zombies? That will help you become more flexible for sure. You will also have much faster reflexes.
>> Anonymous
Hello! I too am training myself not for looks or health, but survival from the zompocalypse.
If joining clubs/paying money doesn't bother you then do martial arts, swimming and tennis. All three give you good cardio, flexibility and strength - the tennis especially works out the important muscles required for bashing skulls.

If you want to do this along/cheaply, run. A lot. Start slow, at about 30min a day and work it up to an hour a day. Find a good jogging pace and try to keep it up for as long as possible. Stop only when you're about to die.
And stairs. If you can find a place with a lot of stairs, practice going up them. You never know when your survival might depend on running up six flights of stairs.

Strength will require a lot of pull ups, pushups and rowing. A good idea is a playground, do pull ups on the monkey bars, try to get from one end of the playground to the other parkour style - this'll also help with jumping. Another trick is take a baseball bat, find a solid tree and spend some time hitting the tree as hard as you can.
>> Anonymous
for the jumping wear ankle weights all the time except when you do cardio.
>> Anonymous
>find a solid tree and spend some time hitting the tree as hard as you can.
sounds like a wristbone-rattling good time.
OP, running is a good start. it is VERY important not to start your training too hard and get burned out or injured in the first couple weeks. so (assuming you haven't done any running outside of PE class) start with about 20-30 minutes, three or four days a week. do more if you feel absolutely fine. otherwise just keep it steady. the generally accepted rule among runners is that you shouldn't increase your weekly mileage by more than 10% each week. if there is a running group in your area, check them out and see if you can join. it helps a lot to have a group, take it from me. not only are they supportive and stuff, but they are knowledgeable and will keep you from doing anything stupid. they will tell you this, but in case you can't find a group, ALWAYS stretch the major muscle groups in your legs before and especially after you run each day. remember, the point of stretching is NOT to increase flexibility for its own sake, but to help relax your muscles and prevent injury. the flexibility comes naturally. so don't push to the point of pain; just be sure your form is correct, and spend at LEAST 30 seconds in each pose, slowly reaching/pushing farther for the whole 30 sec.
>> Anonymous
I approve of this thread.
>> Anonymous
OP here, thanks guys. I'll write up a schedule for myself with your suggestions. What else do I need besides fitness to survive the apocalypse?
>> Anonymous
Well, you could buy a nice heavy bokken and practice swinging it around. Eventually you will develop godlike control and power with any longish stick weapon and be decent with swords too.
>> Anonymous
>>96506
(cont.)
as far as jumping and general fitness goes: go to a track or someplace with bleachers, and jump up onto the first bleacher, then jump back down without turning around. do it with your feet synchronized, not in a stepping motion. repeat for up to a minute, then run at a comfortable pace while you recover. ALL recovery should be done dynamically (while running) not bent over panting with your hands on your knees. when you're feeling ok again, drop and do some pushups (have a set number that you increase as the weeks go by) then jog again til you feel ready to drop and do some crunches or other ab work. continue in this fashion (alternating pushups, situps, and jump-ups) til you're tired as all get-out. this is a circuit workout and you should not do it more than once a week.
>> Anonymous
Not OP, but what is /fit/'s general plan for survival for the world's inevitable future full of zombies?
>> Anonymous
>>96516
1. Run into crowd
2. Pick up random fatty
3. SQUAT
4. Hurl fatty at oncoming zombies
5. ??????
6. PROFIT!!
>> Anonymous
Does the books you mentioned provide any reason you should be prepared for a zombie apocalypse, or are you just paranoid because it feel cool to prepare for something dangerous?
>> Anonymous
>>96539
That you even have to ask is rather silly...
>> Anonymous
I shall also prepare for the apocalypse, just in case.

Anon shall unite and start a new society on the ruins of the old. The zombie flesh shall only aid our bid towards world domination.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Hoy /fit/, the subject matter for today is sex.

Now i'm not a bad looking guy, infact I get enough attention for me to feel quite good about myself. I'm pretty skinny but i'm the kind of skinny girls like so i get told. I'm a good kisser and my penor is more than enough for anyone without a vagina the size of a hallway.

Now, my problem is sex.

I'm a master of foreplay and girls i've been with have a lot of fun at this part, and when the actual sex starts it's all fine and dandy. The issue i have is keeping things going, not necasarily "keeping it up", but being able to fuck for more than 15-20 minutes without feeling pretty knackered. There comes a point where i'm hot as hell, really thirsty, and my body feels like ass, and all that distraction is a major boner kill, so finishing is somewhat of a rarity for me.

SO ONTO THE ADVICE: What excercises would you advise me to to merely to make me able to keep going without me ending up having a heart attack mid-sex?
>> Anonymous
>>96540
I've always guessed it's the latter, but OP gave me doubts. Can I get an answer to my question if it's that silly?
>> Anonymous
>>96806
Ignore this, for i am a retard.
>> Anonymous
>>96785
Anyone who doesn't prepare for zombie survival deserves it. We shall build anew, and it will be great.