File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
I come to you /fit/ in search of guidance...because the worst thing that can happen here is I get flamed.

My girlfriend and I have been together since March, just before I went home for the summer, though we've split several times since then. Before we were together she'd often come to me about issues in her personal life. She's had a lot of abusive boyfriends in the past and it shows in that she has serious self-esteem issues. She's been generally taking care of herself more and more poorly over the past year, and she often lets slip that she doesn't care about her life or if terrible things happen to her. This drives me crazy, because I care about her a lot. To top it off, she rarely tells me when something's bothering her, I always have to drag it out of her. We're almost always arguing, and even when we're not we're often awkward together. I'm beginning to think more and more that we're just incompatible as people. A normal person would call it off at this point, right?

There are two things keeping me from that. One is that I really believe she deserves to be in a good relationship because honestly, she's never been with a guy who isn't a jerk before. If I break up with her I'm worried she'll end up with another asshole, as she doesn't seem to care about herself enough to keep that from happening or break up with a guy. She's a good person inside and she deserves better than that. The other thing is that she's not exactly emotionally stable, and often sits alone and drinks herself to sleep. She's attempted suicide and cut herself more than once before I met her, and I don't want her to hurt herself if I leave. What would you do?

tl;dr: Help, trapped in a mutually destructive and draining relationship with a really nice really insecure girl.
Any at least semi-serious advice is appreciated, pic unrelated.
>> Anonymous
Just be there for her, that doesnt mean be with her ....
Make sure shes happy, and be aggressive about it (but dont tell her she cant be with so and so) just keep tabs on her...Her happiness and wellbeing is important, right? Keep an eye on her... Thats the best you can do.
Tell her exactly how you feel, about everything.


If she doesnt listen then...painfully, c'est la vie.
>> Anonymous
>>344171
You know, you're right...just because we aren't in a relationship doesn't mean I can't still be in her life. After all, I was able to talk to her about things even before we were together. Thank you for the advice...that helps me a lot to think about it that way.

The only thing I'm still worried about is what it might do to her self-esteem, the first relationship with a guy who didn't treat her like crap ending because she wasn't right for him and vice-versa. I'm not sure what I can do about that, especially with how she sees herself as doomed to be unhappy (or undeserving of happiness) as is.