File :-(, x, )
Reaching out for specimens... Dr. Eggman
Hello, my name is Dr. Eggman, and I'm the world's greatest scientist!

I require a fast humanoid to pit against my hated adversary, Sonic.

Please post your fastest accomplishments. The winner will be cloned..I mean...recruited to race and beat up Sonic in the next crappy game.
>> Anonymous
PROTIP from Sega game tester:
Next sonic game, Robotnik destroys the plant with a giant silver penis gun.

True story. Write it down somewhere so you can see for yourself when the game comes out.
>> Anonymous
Dear Dr. Eggman.

Why do they take hair samples for DNA? Hair isn't cellulose, so there's no DNA.

Sincerely,
Timmy Age 11, Labyrinth Zone
>> Dr. Eggman
>>253823

Dear Timmy,

When you're a scientist, you'll find that all you really need to do is put items inside complicated machines and under fancy microscopes; the rest just comes together.

Hatefully,

Dr. Eggman.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Leave Sonic to me
>> Dr. Eggman
>>253843

Oh no! A fan character!

You simply will not do. I can't go cloning something that's already a clone. That's overkill.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Don't feel so bad Robotnik, I mean, Sonic isn't exactly the picture of health either! Look at that belly!
>> Dr. Eggman
Who is Robotnik?
>> Anonymous
>>253858
Ha, sorry, I get the two of you confused! You're so similar.
>> Anonymous
Dr. Eggman has an IQ of 300, but he can't outsmart a small woodland mammal?