File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Well i was told to post this here so i figured i'd try.

Now.

I'm a reasonably respectable heterosexual male, and being of sound mind and heart i decided to give up porn and fapping and lust in general. Now, the task itself was easy enough but the extremes it has driven me to are not.

Less than an hour ago i suddenly came under the impression that it would be somehow interesting to see how many tootsie rolls i could shove in my ass.

...

I'll give you a moment to allow that to sink in. Well 5 ounces later and i'm on the toliet straining trying to get these things out, my ass is bleeding, and i tried to get them out manually (...) but from the plops of the toliet i can assume that only roughly 3 (perhaps 4) rolls actually came out.

As i see it there are a few ending results to this situation.

Perhaps the tootsie rolls will be digested by the enzymes in my ass and be relinquished from my bowels naturally, somehow this seems likely but also impossible, what if the tootsie rolls remain solid and become lodged, or what if they liquefy enough but not entirely and become one large mass of death. I've been chugging water like a mad man, i'm not sure why but i needed a sense of progressiveness. Should i take some exlax or something? How long should i wait before i contact a doctor? Is a doctor neccesary. If people have parasites in their ass why cant you have some chocolate. I'll keep track of how many days ive gone without shitting and keep you updated.

You dont know how much i wish this was a troll right now. I'm almost in shock.
>> Mr. LTE
WOW
>> Anonymous
So.

Call the doctor now or later? Ive heard from /b/ and /r9k/ that sugar in da ass is bad. I was going to give it a few days at least to see if i managed to pass them naturally.
>> Anonymous
just wait, you'll just shit them out
if you left the packaging on them, you can still eat them afterwards :D


also, FUKKEN SAVED FOR FUTURE COPY PASTAING PURPOSES
>> Anonymous
>>51164

They were unwrapped. I dont know if i want to eat them anymore.
>> Anonymous
Didnt you see the southpark episode? You'll just reverse-digest them and shit out your mouth.
>> Anonymous
If they're in your intestines, they'll come out sooner or later... After all, it is an exit only. Just eat, and it'll come out with your shit.

How many did you shove, exactly? Also, if you don't think they have all come out within 5 days, just go to the hospital. I hope you live in a busy city or something, otherwise small town locals will probably think there's something really fucked with you. Not to say there isn't, but still.
>> Anonymous
>>51181

After sorting through the garbage, i've counted 10 wrappers. Which isn't a terrible amount.

My stomach hurts though and i cant tell if its anxiety or blockage.
>> Anonymous
WHAT
THE
FUCK
IS
WRONG
WITH
YOU
>> Anonymous
>>51184

There's tootsie rolls in my ass. I think we've already established my problem.

):
>> Anonymous
I could go ask my neighbor, Or i could just sit here and laugh at you.
>> Anonymous
hot/warm water enema would do it if they are still up there really.

won't be pleasant but it would certainly soften them up.
>> Anonymous
TO LOL OR NOT LOL...
>> Anonymous
This was posted on /r9k/ and, from what I've heard, also on /b/.

Anyways, get out the pliers...
>> Anonymous
Do moar SQUATZ
>> Guil
Get some semen in there to lubricate

but really, enema is obvious choice. make sure to go slow with that water though, don't want to push any further in (can only be bad) but yeah the water would melt them

and so would your body heat for that matter, so you might as well just wait for them to pass
>> Anonymous
>>51297
yeah, I copypasted. Thanks
>> Anonymous
I lol'd.

Real hard.
>> Anonymous
lol, tootsie pops...
>> Anonymous
oh lawd
>> Anonymous
just wait. they'll eventually come out with the rest of your shit.

probably won't even notice them when you pass them
>> Anonymous
So when you're not busy fapping you like to shove tootsie rolls up your ass for no apparent reason?

WTF?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I lol'd soooo goddamn hard when I read this. I have a question OP, were the tootsie rolls the small ones, or the GIANT ones?
>> Anonymous
Someone call MSNBC! I want Sanjay Gupta to do a special on this guy!
>> Anonymous
copypasta from /b/
>> Anonymous
I saw this docu about this emergency doc who said that he frequently sees the weirdest shit inside anuses, vaginas and penises.
For example a coke bottle that got stuck in ass (they showed x-ray) or a safety pin that opened inside a penis and got stuck.
My favourite was the fir twig that got stuck in a penis (goddamn that must have hurt).
Oh yeah, old vacuum cleaners used to have a small ventilator close to the front, leading to frequent penis mutilation.
>> Anonymous
>>51960
i serious grabbed my cock in pain when i read the safety pin part. Fucking ouch. Sounds like some communist torture
>> Anonymous
Scrubs.

The Ass Box.

You belong.
>> Beaver !D8rQiV7xz.
>>52006

You're not the only one.

What is wrong with people?!