File :-(, x, )
Mr. Bad News
Listen up, /e/,
I must confess.
I've been most distressed
About my chest.
Until I get answers I cannot rest,
So I'll do my best
To explain my request.
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
My chest gets all sorts of attention
Which fills my heart with apprehension,
And I shouldn't have to mention
That my incomprehension
Is the root cause of this tension!
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
They say they're the best,
And they say I've been blessed,
But I can't help but protest.
What the HELL are these things on my chest?
This is a question that MUST be addressed!
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
I just don't know what to make of these.
Are they some sort of cancer? Some terrible disease?
They're big and soft and easy to squeeze,
But with these tumorous lumps, I have no expertise.
You have to tell me, tell me please!
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
Mine are somewhat big, like two softballs,
But I didn't have them as a kid, as far as I recall.
Some come really big and some come really small,
But the boys tell me they'll cum to any size at all.
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
They just won't stop staring,
And their girlfriends, uncaring,
Are glaring at what I'm wearing!
They call it daring
To have clothes so sparing!
(but... it covers the right spots, right?)
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
These breast-things are more than I can take!
When I run, they shake
And make my back ache,
And sometimes I think it must all be a mistake,
That maybe they'll be gone when I wake.
I hope that's true, for my sake!
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
But actually, sometimes they can be kind of nice.
When I go shopping, and ask about price,
Sometimes they say my boobs will suffice!
I show them to him, and my boobs buy the rice!
But only for male clerks (for women, no dice.)
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
So maybe when I said I hate them, I lied.
I need more experimentation to decide
What their drawbacks are, as well as upsides.
The benefits they provide to women worldwide
Can't be denied. And they make me feel good inside!
These two simple lumps fill me with pride
As I stride with my two boobs alongside!
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
>> Mr. Bad News
     File :-(, x)
Hooray for breasts! Hooray for these things on my chest!
They shouldn't be compressed, but undressed!
Expressed and assessed and never repressed!
Our guests, if impressed, are free to molest
If they're that obsessed. I should have guessed
That's all I needed to put them to the test
>> Anonymous
You, sir, are a god among men.
>> Anonymous
I feel weird.
Though it wasn't as bad as I feared.
After reading that seuss-inspired jest,
I think I need to rest.
>> Anonymous
i lol'd and came
>> Anonymous
Makes me wish I had a chest.
Soft, warm mounds, those lovely breasts.
>> Anonymous
This is a good thread.
>> Anonymous
See, this is what 4Chan is meant to be.
>> Captain Lazy !5q3CB1Co4E
.... see, this would all be well and good...

If HE didn't refer to HIMSELF as "Mr. Bad News". Way to ruin the illusion, cockfag. =p
>> Anonymous
bah, blow it out your actuator, tripfag. it was still amusing.
>> Llyander
Proof that porn does not mean you are a mindless cretin.

You can be an intelligent cretin too.
>> Anonymous
>>483120
I of course was never under any illusion that the story was based on personal facts. That aside, I think it'd be unfair to say that a guy can't write about a girl, even in first-person perspective.

Although, this is 4chan. :|
>> Anonymous
Anonymous is amused.
>> Kebinu !GhiZeo/aQQ
Thought it was going to launch into Lords of Acid's "I Must Increase My Bust" for a while.
>> Anonymous
This thread is instant win in the very first post.

I came three times before reaching the end.
>> Anonymous
I must confess, my mind is a mess
After reading that rhyme, is it now time
To contemplate meter, or yank on my peter?

(The answer is 'either')
>> Anonymous
Bump for win
>> Anonymous
>>483120

Kill yourself.
>> Anonymous
>>483056
Wow. Nice colouring.