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Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
Hey guys...

I've been practicing Yoga and now... I can totally do this.

Srsly.
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>> Anonymous
OP, do you swallow?
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>>378141

Depends on what I've been eating

If I drink alot of juice beforehand it taste pretty good so yes I do.

But sometimes if you eat alot of junk food it ends up tasting bitter.
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>> Anonymous
>>378138
did you take lessons or what?
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>>378146

no just a few months of good stretching
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>> Anonymous
was it totaly worth it ?
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>>378159

definitely.

stretch for 30 minutes before you go to bed everynight for about 6 months. I can only go about 3 inches past my lips but man, the feeling is great.

you could totally hurt your back if you overdid it though
>> Anonymous
>>378161

any tips on the stretching ?
>> Anonymous
I've been doing that for a year now, no yoga. I'm just really flexable.

It's not as good as you'd think it be, but it's in no way bad.
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>>378162

start small, do all of these in your bed

first lay back and try the stretch where you put your feet behind the back of your head.

then, laying on your back, try a stretch where you slowly raise up your leg and bring your knee to your chest. try one leg at a time

now get on your stomache, and act like you're doing a push up, but when you get all the way up, arch your back upward so your crotch is pressing against the bed. this is to loosen your back muscles in the opposite direction, and helps you gain distance.

and then lastly, lay down and then pull your legs up until your back is almost vertical, and your legs are outstretched. your penis should be right in front of your face. take both your hands and then pull your lower body half towards yourself, but dont overdo it.

with that last stretch you should only do that in bed, and if you have a bedpost or your bed is against the wall, once you raise your legs back you can use your feet, press them up against a wall and then push so your lower body half comes closer to your upperbody half. It really helps.

try that for a few months and you should make some progress. if you overdo it and snap you're back and become a parapalegic then I hope it was worth it! :D
>> Anonymous
>>378164

doesnt know how to give good head
>> Anonymous
i think my 6pack will get in the way... but il give it a go for some time and see how much will it get in the way, thanks for the stretching advise
>> Anonymous
>>378169

any tips for>>378164?
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
>>378179

only obvious ones like use your tongue
you're a guy... you should know what makes your penis happy >.>
>> nnms
Lo and behold, 12 new parapalegics were born this day.
>> Anonymous
sry guys but if you don t practice stretching while young your spinal column ( or what its called in english) will harden and grow together

so as an adult you get only pain from trying it
>> Anonymous
NOT WORTH IT.

Then again, I don't like semen, so...
>> Anonymous
>>378169
it also helps not to eat a lot the days you try to really go at'er
>> Anonymous
OMFG 4chan is really dangerous...
>> Anonymous
anyone ever think of using a penis enlarger? or do those things not really work?
>> Anonymous
Thank you /d/, I had a good laugh just now. Good times, keep trying.
>> Anonymous
...Sir, you have just made something worthy of a meme.

You can totally blow yourself. And you're getting others to try it too.

You're like Gary Brolsma. You rock as much as you suck. Which could be a lot or a little depending on your..."self."
>> Anonymous
http://www.xkcd.com/c240.html

OBSERVE LAST PANEL
>> crusader !!zNqz3IR0kQi
Hentai-Jedi, you are a GOD.
>> Anonymous
THREAD IS AWESOME.
>> Anonymous
It helps to have a really big Schlong. If its big enough you don't have to flexible cause it'd just poke you in the eye when you try to tie your shoes.
>> Anonymous
I can only get the tip in so far, and even then it kinda hurts at first...I wanna get more in there...tips?
>> Anonymoose !vKxf7WfCMQ
This thread is hilarious.

I remember trying a few times in the past just for the hell of it. Never got close.

I gave up cause the idea of taking my own junk in the mouth just turned me off.

But good for you, now you never need a girlfriend!
>> Anonymous
>>378177
Why do you keep cans of pop between your mouth and your crotch?
>> Anonymous
>>378434
they just happen to be there >_>... i dont eat much and i do some workout... nothing special realy
>> Anonymous
>>378434
oh and i dont have a gf and i wank to /d/... so no .. im still not normal :P
>> Anonymous
well i can easily get my legs behind my heand but i can honestly say ive never attempted to put my own penis in my mouth : / brb with update
>> Anonymous
>>378434
Lol
>> Anonymous
k 1 and 1/2 inches short of tip of tongue : / but not fully erect, for some reason it is defficult to maintain an erection while attemtping to suck yourself off
>> Anonymous
and i lost my freakin pants

my room ate them...
>> Anonymous
bout an inch after some stretching
>> Anonymous
WTF DID I DO WITH MY FREAKIN PANTS?
>> Anonymous
panic over, found em under my cat, bastard snuck in when i wasnt looking
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
>>378484

its like trying to do math while ur having sex, its a real distraction
>> 5002.1 - c h a n
>>378434
Real (TM) Pocari Sweat
>> The Criss Cross Man
o.o I'll be right back... I have... Laundry. Yeah! Laundry that's it...
>> Anonymous
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I remember doing this in like... High-school or something. I could only suck on the head though. It wasn't amazing or anything. To be honest, It's actually a lot easier (for me, at least - dunno about the numerous introverts on /d/) to just get a girlfriend. Of course, your girlfriend won't be futanari or anything, but I'm pretty sure you can still fap to /d/. Infact, if you build up your 'sexual-endurance' your girlfriend will like you more, because she can ride you for an hour and a half, unlike her previous boyfriend who was a five-minute-man.

Autofellatio takes more practice and time than getting a girlfriend who does oral, and is generally less satisfying.

But, now that I'm done... Go try it!
>> Anonymous
I can do this as well. Some days my back is quite stiff and I can't get anywhere near it. Some days my back is nice and loose and it's a lot easier. Also having a big dick makes it easier obviously.
>> Anonymous
not OP here, i'm able to do this as well, i've always been a pretty flexible person.

Stretch daily is all I can say.

And oh, TOTALLY worth it, if you try hard enough, you can reach to the base (don't hurt yourself, though!)
>> Anonymous
>>378530
what base # would that be?
>> Anonymous
>>378519
how do u build up your 'sexual endurence'
>> Anonymous
>>378556
13?
>> Anonymous
>>378556
-4?
>> Anonymous
>>378556
base #? I'm talking about the whole thing
>> Anonymous
This thread is made of lies and faggotry.

It's impossible to suck yourself off unless you either have a really big dick or you have your lower ribs removed.

Your physiology... IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!

(I'd post some relevant pics but it's not /d/material and I don't want b&)
>> Anonymous
>>378570
It's easily possible, you just have to be flexible and stretch alot.

You can't just do it overnight (well, maybe)
>> Anonymous
btw guys, keep posting those pics!
>> Anonymous
>>378570

has a small penis
>> Anonymous
>>378530
>>378230here

Reach the base? Didn't think about getting that far. I find that when I get to a point, my stomach gets too compressed and its not even a matter of my back anymore.
>> Anonymous
>>378580
Oh believe me, it hurts afterwards (my back) but so worth it.
>> Anonymous
This thread is useless without pics.
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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Well I'm only 19 so I guess my back hasnt grown in a way that makes it impossible for me to do this.

It might be easier for some to get a gf, I have a full time job and an assload of hobbies on the side so I find this alot more conveniant.

Its sorta like trying to tickle yourself. There are no surprises, but since you're a guy you know exactly what feels good.
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>>378230

yeah, sometimes if you had alot to drink or if you've just recent eaten within the past 4 or so hours your stomach's compression can be uncomfortable.

try eating smaller and try your attempts after a bowel movement or two.

If you've got a beer belly chances are you wont be able to reace.
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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poat MOAR pix plox
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>> Anonymous
I got a bit of a beer belly and I can reach a bit, but I only can fit the head in my mouth. The fat sort of rolls off to the sides. If anyone is discouraged because of that, exercise as much as you stretch and you could reach too.
>> Anonymous
Autofellatio is great. I used to be able to go all the way down on mine, when I was in high school. All the freaking way. Of course, it wasn't always necessary, because my best friend and I were both bi- but god did he love to watch. And swallow, oh yes we did.
>> Unanonymous
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>> peniscockinmypenis
lol gay
>> Anonymous
too much roleplay in this thread, get rid of it.
>> Kebinu !GhiZeo/aQQ
I've tried once or twice out of curiosity. Never was able to get it in--I practically never stretch and actually have to go to a chiropractor because my back is jacked up from bad posture--but I have a long tongue (can easily touch the tip of my nose) and managed to lick the tip. Didn't find it pleasurable at all, said "Fuck it, this feels gay anyway" and went back to jacking off. Then again, when I had a girlfriend, getting head from her didn't really get me off either. imo getting blown is a lot of hype over nothing. Or maybe I just don't personally like it.
>> Anonymous
>>378519
Yeah, personally, I think it's too much effort to suck yourself off if you can get someone else to do it. Not saying that they will be better, but it will be easier from their angle.
>> Anonymous
So, if u r a shemale irl, how do u strecht to giver yousef a boobjoob?
>> Anonymous
>>378871
You'd have to stretch farther than is humanly possible. Although it would be simple if your penis length was more than 12 inches.

Unless you're a contortionist.
>> Anonymous
I could do it if my gut wasn't in the way
>> Anonymous
>>378519
Because I am a /d/tard or whatever, the last time I fucked a girl, I was hard for 3 hours and didn't come, but had several orgasms. I made her come a few times and have some orgasms, also.

It wasn't especially that I was holding out for so long, but that I honestly could not ejaculate. Later, I found out I was just gun-shy.
>> Anonymous
>>378732

Back when i was young and curious, i was quite flexible due to mutiple sports being played. I actually suceeded as per OP's pic, except i would sit and bring my head to cock, not vice versa. It was quite cool, i could get more than half of my guy in my mouth. I did this for more than a year but finally lost some flexability as i aged and can no longer do it. Those were the days....
>> Anonymous
just came on my own face. it was awesome
>> Anonymous
>>378495
Exactly.
>> Anonymous
>>378711
Go on...
>> Anonymous
>and then lastly, lay down and then pull your legs up until your back is almost vertical, and your legs are outstretched. your penis should be right in front of your face. take both your hands and then pull your lower body half towards yourself, but dont overdo it.

I've tried thinking of this three different ways, and I can't tell what you mean at all.
>> Anonymous
I can only get the tip in, you don't need a big dick to do it...just go get yourself a hooker, much easier, if your that desperate lol
>> Anonymous
Actually, women are so mother fucking picky anymore that getting a girlfriend isn't the fucking easiest thing in the world.

Course I never REALLY tried myself. Mainly as I know it wouldn't pan out to fucking well given my circumstances.

and that isn't really even touching the fact that I have a genetic mental disorder that makes me fairly anti-social.

I have actually tried this... well not any stretching but just trying it and I didn't get anywhere close.

I am fairly out of shape though. Though technically wouldn't all the stretching and such be helpful due to the flexibility it would give you. Not to mention that that much exercise when you get little may help weight just a bit, if you don't over do it right?

all I managed to do is make my back hurt when I tried. as I seemed to end up putting nearly all of my weight on my upper back.

well I did cum and managed to get some but it tasted pretty damned bad and it wasn't very fun as the soreness it gave me was more than the good feeling I got by getting off.

and as for the all the fuckers that cry gay.
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>>379046

...

>>378979

Look at this pic here>>378143

You see how her hands are on her butt? She's pulling her lower body closer to her face. This is pretty much what I meant. You should be in your bed, and your back should be shooting straight up.

The last bit I added was that if you had a solid surface behind you, you can bring your feet to it and then push, which would make your waist come closer to your face.
>> Anonymous
i have helped my boyfriend to do this to himself!
granted, he has a pretty long dick
and is v. skinny.
but it's very possible! and incredibly arousing for watching (open-minded) female partners !!!
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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need more pix plox
>> Anonymous
>>379066

gb2/y/, fatty
>> Hentai-Jedi !Pzfs.fsjKo
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>> Anonymous
>>378138
Just wait till you can lick you vagina
>> Anonymous
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