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Anonymous File :-(, x)
I come to /d/ because real sex is often awkward, boring, and sometimes not very satisfying. Besides, masturbating is relaxing, and you don't always have access to someone else's genitalia, elbows, feet, tongues, or whatever else you find appealing.
.. much less squids and such. I can see that going over real well at any pet store.
"Excuse me, could you sell me an octopus?" "Sure, got a new fishtank?" "Oh, no. My girlfriend just said I could do anything I wanted for my birthday, and she doesn't know I regularly visit 4chan, so .."
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