File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Dear /d/,

My gf and I have decided to explore a Dom/Sub thing in our relationship. We've been messing around with bondage, spanking, and some similar stuff for a couple of years now, and want to try expanding it into more everyday things as opposed to just sex.

Here's what we agreed to. I get to make three rules, she has to follow them or face the consequences (*fingers crossed for rule-breaking). Nothing that would alienate friends or ruin careers or generally fuck up our relationship. Small, private things. Here's what I've got so far:

1. She must ask permission before getting in or out of bed
2. She must ask permission before getting dressed or undressed

I need a third one. Help me /d/eviants, you're my only hope.
>> Anonymous
Permission before leaving kitchen.
>> Anonymous
>>912060

/thread
>> Anonymous
asking 2 to use the restroom
>> Anonymous
Permission when to come
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
OP here

>>912075
Not really my thing.

>>912081
Been considering that one. Anyone tried it before?

>>912060
/thread
>> Anonymous
>>912060
agreed, /thread

How about asking permission before leaving the house?
>> Anonymous
well there are dozens of things you could do.

my number one suggestion is to coller her, look up what that entails on bdsm life style sites.

a summery is, a coller is like a temperary wedding ring for a slave and master, the master agrees to care for the sub and the sub agrees to obay w/o question.This usualy has a writen contract that may include absolute limets (things that can not be done) and proably safe word.

and when the coller is worn you are in the roll untill it is removed.

as a casual suggestion if the coller is unavalable then have her where x when you 2 are alone, that is fun because it is not about asking it is about doing or being repremanded. if it is somthing easy to put on and take off that will make it easy or somthing difficult like.. knee hight lace up boots and corset, she will most defenaty act up befor too long.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>912102

Agreed. A submissive woman should never be allowed to come without permission, although I would expand this to include any form of self-stimulation. My first gf (natural slave-type) was not allowed to touch herself sexually without permission, and I very rarely granted it. I, of course, made every effort to keep her turned on and wet at all times. She loved the frustration.

Essentially, this kind of rule makes a submissive entirely reliant you on for sexual satisfaction. Let her go awhile without being granted permission. Tease her about it. Get her worked up, then deny her release. Even if you intend to grant her permission when she asks, make her beg for the privilege. Drag it out as long as you can. It'll drive her crazy, and if she's really the submissive type, it'll make her putty in your hands.
>> Anonymous
YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK
SICK I TELL YOU
>> Anonymous
>>912102

Yeah, I've been on the receiving (?) end of needing to ask before coming. I found it frustrating but a turn on (which, given my situaion, was actually kind of unfortunate...), but as much as I enjoyed it, I didn't get half as much a thrill out of it as my bf did.

Go for it.
>> Anonymous
>>912057
Cannot disobey an order.
>> Verfor99 !dW6ztBRlKA
Also, try her needing permission to BE fucked. She can give you handjobs, blowjobs, footjobs, and titjobs all you want, but if she wants vaginal or anal, she'd have to earn it.
A chastity belt could aid this by keeping her from fucking herself.
>> Anonymous
BDSM is fine and all, but it belongs in the realm of fantasy. Sex isn't the be all end all of life or relationships. Sexual Games should never leave the bedroom.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
OP here. I knew you people would have good ideas. I'm thinking that rule number 3 will be that when we are alone in the house she must wear a uniform of my choosing. Corset, fishnets and heels probably, until I find something better. That way, after she gets sick of the corset and I punish her a few times, I can let her "get away" with just the fishnets and heels without being too disappointed. I'll need to think of something for winter though...
>> Anonymous
Yay!! anon liked my suggestion best :P

for winter if your alone and she is not going about a task have her crawl naked into a mummy camping sleeping bag.

1. its warm
2. it will confine her
3. it is easy to move it to another location so you can see her wriggle and squirm.

dam you anon now i am bursting with naughty ideas... ah ther is mine i think i am going to go use some of my ideas now :p
>> Anonymous
>>912137
wow i'm a sub and that post turned me on a lot
>> Anonymous
>>912229

Do this, but put a vibe in her, lowest setting. Don't forget to bind her so she can't move in the bag.
>> Anonymous
>>912137
I came, though I probobly shouldn't have.
>> Anonymous
Rule 3: Allowed to add/remove/change existing rules at a whim.
>> Anonymous
>>912122
I have my pet constantly have a collar of some sort. Cat collar soemtimes since its cute on her, a studier leather for everyday stuff at home, choker necklace for public (which was her idea actually), and it's fun to always have her bound in some way like that.
>> Anonymous
>>912319
Where on earth do you find girls that are into that kind of stuff?
>> Anonymous
>>912336

His imagination.
>> Anonymous
>>912336
OP here. In my case, at least, and every other successful dom/sub couple I know of, it isn't a matter of just "finding a girl" who's into it. The thing is, it's taken us two and a half years to go from me binding her arms and legs with silk scarves to this. Because no girl in her right mind is going to say "well, it's our second date, would you like a large degree of control over my life?"

Most women are kinkier than they first appear. Try something small first, then talk about it, she'll tell you she liked it, move on from there in small steps. Unless she really does express a desire for you to just take over, in which case fuck the small steps and go nuts (had an ex who did that, she was a crazy bitch, but in a good way.)

That's it for me, it's midnight here, and my gf just asked permission to strip and get in bed. I'm going to lay out her "uniform" for tomorrow first, just so she can see what she's in for. Thanks for the ideas anons!
>> Anonymous
She has to meet your kneeling at the door when you return from work/class.

Train her to kneel with her back straight and hands down at the sides or something you like. Maybe have her jut out her chest a bit, w/e you like.
>> Anonymous
>>912369

You'd be surprised. Girl I knew (Not even a girlfriend, just a girl) talked me into buying a leather collar for her, which she wore everywhere for years until her boyfriend got jealous and made her wear one he bought her instead.

As for where to find girls into that kind of thing..That's not the trick. The trick is how you convince a girl who is into that kind of thing to talk about it. All I'll say about that is, chicks send out a lot of signs. Learn to read them and you'll be good.
>> Anonymous
>>912102

what the heck you're doing here then?
>> Anonymous
That's funny you guys can't find girl subs cuz Im having such a hard time finding a boy who is into this... are all dudes really into the dom/sub thing? where do i meet these guys!?
>> Anonymous
I've found that being randomly aggressive helps. Just out of nowhere while shes not expecting it, grabs her breasts, reach under her skirt or force her into a kiss. Let her know pleasure is when you decide it is.

Keep this up for long enough and she'll spring up a bit anytime you come into the corner of her view. The best is when she's being all cutesy and trying to provoke you into it by getting into positions but you just tease her, then when shes not expecting it, you give her what she wants.
>> Anonymous
>>912444
GAH, WHERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE YOU?!
>> Verfor99 !dW6ztBRlKA
>>912369

Sometimes it just happens. At AWA last year, after the 4chan meet-up, I came across a leashed girl who's owner had just left her behind at the Steak-n-Shake, so like any normal pervert under the cover of a gentleman, I offered to walk her back to the convention. Of course I didn't get any tail, if you know what I mean, because she was already taken.
tl'dr: you never know when it'll happen.
>> Anonymous
>>912315

If you are a submissive girl who just came without my permission, you should already know what to expect: punishment. I'd grab you by the hair and pull you over my knee, rip down your pants and panties, and smack that ass of yours until it's nice and red and stinging. Trust me, you would not be sitting comfortably for a while.

And while you are down on your knees, thanking me for correcting you, and rubbing your very sore bottom, I would be calmly explaining to you how your very disobedient act has just lost you your orgasm privileges. Sure hoped you enjoyed that last orgasm, because it’s the last time you’ll be coming for a long, long time.
>> eNon
     File :-(, x)
Many people like D/s, though they're not always open and honest about what they like and how far they want to go. Many alternitive dating sites exist for finding such relationships; even finding subs on Myspace isn't hard.

What is hard is finding someone who's a match to your likes both in bed and in love. A friend of mine just ended a 5-year relationship because he was a reluctant Dom. She wanted to submit daily, and he'd only do so rarely and randomly.

As per "what" question -- 'What/when to dress' and 'When to/when not to cum' are the two most common rules. Telling her what she can eat or when she can go potty are easy rules at home, but difficult elsewhere. Giving her daily chores, such as waking you with a blowjob or greeting you at the door on her knees will give her something to look forword to.

For hardcore subs, collars are worn 24/7 and even locked on. For part-time and novice subs, a collar serves as a signal of transition, telling her "You are now my slave: be obedient, be attentive, be silent." Chastity belts are fun, but also expensive. Generally a forboding word works, but it's fun to catch her in the act. Keeping a butt-plug insider her as she does chores or sleeps is a good way of teasing her. (I find the vibes with remotes especially fun.)
>> Anonymous
A shame there is no decent dating site which allows you to openly add a list a fetishes you're into without all people freaking out.
>> Anonymous
>>912726

ExtremeRestraintsDating

.com or .org? I forgot. Google is your friend.
>> Anonymous
>>912726
alt.com is expressly set up for this sort of thing, have fun!
>> Anonymous
>>912726

www.collarme.com

[/topic]

Sometimes you just get lucky, although as far as I can see freaks and perverts subconciously tend to wind up with other freaks and perverts. Freak-dar, I remember that nearly every girlfriend I've ever had has enjoyed bondage to *some* extent, even my first girlfriend reassuringly shushed me when I stumblingly asked to tie her up. and as I've degenerated into a deeper interest in BDSM so have their capacities to be bound and humiliated have grown.

The uniform is a fantastic, very sexy idea and one I've never given a lot of thought to. However, as a permanent matter I'm not sure it will remain practical if you're just starting out. In my experience it's something done by slightly more advanced couples, but if you feel she can keep up with it by all means keep on. I'd like to reiterate how permission to cum is a staple of many BDSM, and if it doesn't end up your number three it should absolutely be your number four.

Nothing ever made my day like slogging through a boring class and getting a text message from the young lady,
'Please, sir, may I cum?'

'Put your nipple clamps on and count to sixty, then you may.'

Happy days.
>> Anonymous
Most girls are submissive; it's in their nature to obey men.

Enough with the whores that do whatever I ask with their legs spread...what about some doms?
>> Anonymous
>>912956
What *about* some doms?
>> Anonymous
My gf totally likes being dominated on occassion and we talk about all sorts of perverted stuff. They're not going to tell you their fetishes straight out of the gate, though, but talk to them or occassionally dominate them (be forceful and then fuck them as long as they aren't seriously objecting, of course), and see what happens.
>> Anonymous
>>912398
It took me five months to make the jump from "she likes to be held down" to "she likes to be tied down".

There are a lot of little signs, you just have to kep your eyes open. I've never gotten as far as it appears some of these gents have, but I've made progress on a seemingly normal gal so it's possible.
>> Anonymous
I want to tie my gf down, she wants to tie me down. What to do? :p
>> Anonymous
Bit late, but here's my suggestion:

She must ask permission to do anything to satisfy herself in any way at all.

How's that? Covers everything she could possibly want to do. From masturbating to eating to watching TV.

Although the uniform thing is also good.
>> Anonymous
Oh, and you could always try swapping roles in this relationship, say, every month or so, if you're both into both sides of it.
You might decide you like it.

(In my imaginary world where I'm not a virgin, I like both sides. *Shrug*)
>> Anonymous
>>912137
Lord I wish my boyfriend was like this
>> The Anonymous
Possibilities of what you can make her ask to use/do :Bathroom, using bra, using panties, ice cream(?), shoes, FOOD, breathing, socks, computer, television, random hobbies, movies, certain food choices(e.g.no salmon), using scissors, using pens and pencils, masturbating, music(specific or all), video games(specific or all), glasses(if she wears them), using tape, calculators, surge protectors when using electronics, fax machines, printers, paper, books, specific headphones or audio systems, file cabinets, makeup(specific types or all), the letter "E"(in written or in speech), chairs, tables, silverware, rulers, cameras, clear plastic, bins, door nob's, greeting cards, the enter buttons on a keyboard, bread, blueberries, ON buttons, OFF buttons, alcohol(maybe), pron(women look at it too). that's about it 4 now.
>> Anonymous
>>913383

"Please can I write a greeting card?"

Kinky.
>> Anonymous
question for femanons... asking permission to cum is hot, but how do you do it? not cum/cum on command I mean, I've always wondered
>> Anonymous
You haven't taken your gf to be cum trained?
They don't consciously know the command you give them. You assign some sort of action or phrase, and they CUM. To train them, they put them in a semi-awake state, make them cum(chemically or the fun way) and repeatedly make them cum while you repeat the action/phrase.
>> Anonymous
>>913383
>breathing

wat
>> Anonymous
>>913403

Not a femanon but a novice dom, generally when I've done the "permission to cum" it's like "you can orgasm today" rather than "bitch orgasm right now".
>> Anonymous
>>913409

Please tell me more. My girlfriend says she doesn't always know when she's about to cum, but when she's about to she can't talk. I assumed permission had to be given or denied beforehand. How do I make it so my trigger action/phrase makes her come?
>> Anonymous
Have the femanons tried listing their preference (Top/bottom/Domme/sub/slave/psychobitch) on anonidate?
>> Anonymous
>>913436
I guess I am more interested in how it is physically controlled... like when you watch pr0ns and the girl is screaming for permission, but she doesn't seem to actually orgasm until the dom says she can
>> Anonymous
Im very dominant in daily life and my girlfriend is a total sub, we do this sort of thing all the time. But, when i jack off i generally think about being dominated.
>> Anonymous
>>913450

haha I thought that was just me
>> Anonymous
Continuation from before: sometimes, if you're REALLY dominating her life, or she's just kinda weird/shy, she may not even need to do the training(let's call it therapy, women are people, even on /d/). If she's like that, and you tell her not to cum "yet", she might not, till you say so. Don't wait too long, though, or she'll lose it(the orgasm, or her sanity)
>> HypnoticDan
I've been a dom all my life and I'd like to make a few suggestions to the OP.
First, permission to do various non-sexual things is fine but be prepared with a rule for what happens when you can't communicate. Do you really want her to wake you at 2am so she can take a piss? See, if you punish her for waking you you're basically punishing her for following your own damn rule.

CollarMe.com, Bondage.com, and Alt.com are three kink dating sites. Don't even bother unless you've read up on SSC/RACK because you'll be written off as just another egomaniac with power issues.

I am openly kinky. The nice thing is that girls who show an interest in me already know what they're in for. If you're not into being open, try this instead: you're in bed, you're doing her missionary, she's loving it. Take her hands and hold them over her head by her wrists. Then do something like this:
"Mm..that feels great. You like how that feels?"
"Yes"
"You want more?"
"Yes"
"Then you're gonna do what I say, aren't you?"
"Yes"

Anyways, there's a hell of a lot more subs than doms in the world and even fewer good doms so if you are clean, healthy, keep your shit together, and generally act in control you'll have them lining up at your door. Then all you have to do is wait for the right one to come along.

I also suggest ballroom dancing. A girl who likes to be led...likes to be led.

One last thing, I tell my subs that if they enjoy an order they should say "yes sir" and if they don't enjoy it they should say "as you wish, sir." I think the reasons are obvious.
>> BAN THE BATHROOM! Anonymous
Of course, Dan, but I think there would be a previously set rule that, if the permission rules are being enforced, you can't get upset. Although, the girl could then wake you up at 2 on purpose, in which case you can either say yes and continue dreaming of plowing her, or if you don't take jokes well, blow your top and ban the bathroom for some days. Just make sure you don't screw up your relationship.
Lulz, banning the bathroom.
>> Anonymous
I'm a femanon, and honestly, I'm not at _all_ a sub... Though, I might CHOOSE to play at it, for some specific people - but then it's sort of always a risk for them, because it's ususally fairly obvious I can turn on them whenever the hell I feel like it, tie THEM up, and things go from there. So, gotta say - females as naturallys submissive? That concept is fatally flawed, on many levels.

Also, No.912822 ? That just made my 10 minutes, right there. That idea is fucking hillarious. xD Yeah, that's a text I'd lol at getting... Would make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
>> Anonymous
>>913409
It's not normally quite like that, though that kind of thing would work. It's basically Pavolovian association at work: you connect a reaction with a specific stimulus in your partner's mind. This works for lots of things, not just orgasm. I know a girl whose dom trained her to get the sensation of a hug from a specific phrase, written or spoken. She swears she actually feels it. Regardless, you can train someone to cum on command (subject to normal physical processes, of course, like the male biological necessity of downtime). You can even associate it with objects, so that they'll have the desired response when wearing, holding, or seeing that object. That's how collars work in many 24/7 collared relationships. For the sub, the collar becomes associated with submission, obedience, pleasure, etc. It will eventually get to the point that just wearing the collar can drop the sub, without any particular stimulus from the dom.
>> Anonymous
I'm a femanon and while I don't think all women are naturally submissive, I think most are. I could 'turn' on my guy in a minute. It takes time and the right person.
>> Anonymous
>>913523
I approve of you. <3 It's best having it both ways.
>> Anonymous
>>913523
You also are met with success because most males don't know how to properly restrain themselves, or how to tease a woman. Most males really are quite pathetic in that regard.

Only the good males like me know how to properly tease and bait a woman. ;D
>> Anonymous
>>913523

Another femanon that has to concur with this one.
>> Anonymous
>>913718
Fuck "teasing".

I'm the "5-month" asshole from before.
The best sex I have ever had, and I'm assuming likewise for my partner, was letting her start out with me tied up.
Then breaking loose right after being denied and orgasm, and reversing the situation.
Determine a winner beforehand or don't, but sometimes the more subtle "play" isn't as much fun as a honest fight.