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Anonymous
Oh lawd, text topic on a hentai board.

Anyway, I'm a bit embarrassed, so I guess I'll ask /d/. I've been into BDSM for a few years, and I've been totally closeted. Never told a soul. Well, I'm almost 19 and quite frankly I'm sick of it. And I think I want to try indulging a little. Luckily, I live in New York City.

So I plan on attending an S&M club. But I sort of...switch, I guess is the term? How rough do people get? I mean if I decided to submit or anything do people ever get way taken advantage of? Or is it overall pretty proper, organized, etc.?

I'm aware that it's BDSM and it's shady and shit but I guess I'm just a little nervous, and have no clue what to expect.

So I'm expecting a sagebomb, hahaha. But would anyone care to enlighten me?
>> Anonymous
>>1072081

It stands for Terra Non Grada, Basically it's like the other anon said, a Star Trek thing
>> Anonymous
that explains it. my Master likes star trek....i'm sure He'll get me into it
>> Anonymous
>>1072088
also, i don't live where the OP lives. i live in the middle of nowhere. BDSM is frowned upon here, not that i care, but i highly doubt i'll be able to find anything like that here.
>> Anonymous
>>1071941
Okay I'm from the NYC area and I have a friend who is a professional dom and sometimes does demos at a club in NYC. There is no penetration at the club, it's all pretty safe and there are doms there willing to show a 'newbie' for lack of a better word, the ropes (no pun intended). Dress code is depending, usually it's a lower cost to get into the club if you're in attire.

The first time I engaged in a BDSM activity at a club they were very good with safe words and testing my limits to make sure that they didn't go to far. I let them know it was my first time and everything went very smoothly. And honestly, it's really not that shady.
>> Anonymous
Some good advice in this thread. Also, always follow your gut instinct on someone. Chances are it's right. I've been to two different clubs here in Denver and 90% of the people I met are ok. Once you make a few friends or even passing acquaintances, if one of them sees you hanging around someone who might not be ok, they'll let you know too.
>> Anonymous
Just a random anon passing through but saw the great advice and wanted to say thankyou.
>> Anonymous
if you are meek or unsure in any way.
then do not do it.
>> Anonymous
bdsm is for nerds and ugly people, just jerk it fool
>> Anonymous
>>1072891
>bdsm is for nerds and ugly people, just jerk it fool

You are trolling but I have to agree. I went to a few places now and most of the people I saw were quite ugly by my standards. I mean...if you are just looking to get off and not be super attracted to someone then I guess that's ok. Otherwise you will be disappointed.
>> Anonymous
>>1073169
I have to agree. BDSM is more like shopping for a mechanic.
>> Anonymous
>>1072891
>>1073169

This is a sad and unfortunate fact I've struggled with as well. I've been involved in the scene, with various groups in various states, for about three years now.

People in the social scene are incredibly nice, friendly, intelligent, and experienced. They also tend to be more overweight than the general population, less attractive, and have nerdier hobbies (trekkies, RPers, and wiccans abound). I don't know why this is the case, but it's enough to wear on one's soul.

Average age tends to be about 50. In TNG groups, which are harder to find, it's closer to 30.

Basically, if you're looking for young, attractive people who are into kink, you're shit out of luck. No group like that exist, as far as I can ascertain. Get involved with the scene to learn and to make friends, but don't expect to find your smokin' hot soulmate.
>> Anonymous
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>>1071941
If you're new going to a club straight away and trying it with a bunch of total strangers MIGHT be the wrong approach.

Your first experience should probably be one-on-one with somebody you feel comfortable with. You should agree on a safeword, discuss your hard limits, and set up a "safety call" time with a friend (and make sure they know where you're at).

Try reading about BDSM before seeking it out. It isn't "shady." It's just a misunderstood hobby.

Collarme.com is an excellent dating site for kinky people.
>> Anonymous
Extremely helpful thread. Thank you.
>> Anonymous
>>1073727
Secconded.
Cheers to all you experianced anon, this has been an education.

n__n
>> Anonymous
Sure is surprisingly accurate and sound advice in here.