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Anonymous
Hello, /d/, I come to you seeking advice. I understand that this thread might soon be deleted, especially as it doesn't contain /d/ images, but I am in serious need of advice and help.

I'm sure threads like this must pop up every once and a while but I need to break a fetish. I am in a serious relationship and I know that this fetish won't fly. It's funny, I never thought about it before and lo and behold, about a year ago some thread on /b/ suggested it to me it's stuck with me ever since. I'm into infantilism, and I hate it, and I hate myself for liking it. I'm not into scat but the whole "losing total control" part is what gets to me. What's more, I think this is the only thing that could ruin my awesome relationship. My significant other is into being a sub, and I am too creeped out by my fetish to want to practice it or act it out outside of my head. I've become too dependent on it, and it's starting to be that nothing else gets me off. If I concentrate enough I can get off to a few other things that rely on absolute loss of willpower or on a sex partner utterly and completely dominating me, which I think is the underlying fetish, but I am having a hard time being creative enough to come up with anything but a pet fetish/sex slave fetish.

Sorry for the tl;dr, /d/, so I'll pose my questions now:

1) Is there any way to break a fetish?
2) Is there any way to water down a fetish? Is there a chance I will like less hardcore domination over time, or a way for me to become more versatile a sex partner?
3) What are some relevant, less-disgusting fetishes that I could transition into?

Thanks for the help.
>> Anonymous
I believe therapy would be a good place to start, since it looks like you will have a very hard time breaking this fetish.

Also, I think it would be better if you moved this thread to /b/.
>> Anonymous
1) Only thing I can think of is just cold-turkeying it. Your need to masturbate will draw you to other sources of entertainment, and with luck, you'll be able to swap to one of the new ones.
2) Anything gets old eventually. Have you tried using the same type of domination repeatedly, in hopes of getting bored with it? Understand, though, that I'm just using an extremely basic knowledge of human psychology; I have no experience with any of this.
3) Excepting those that deal with death, pedophilia, or mutilation, no fetish is any more or less disgusting than any other.
>> Anonymous
I'm not making fun of you when i say this but getting a therapist really might be a good idea, normally i would laugh at you and tell you to get into eating babies. If you cant get it out of your head you might not necessarily need to get over it so much as find something else. Your best bet would to find a way to get into a few other things so you don't end up with another fixation on one thing.
>> Anonymous
>>1095211

That is a good point. I did the same thing for a few months and suddenly it got boring and I discovered that the whole pet fetish thing was pretty cool.

It's hard to have a fetish you can't tell the person you're with. My partner is fairly vanilla and into light sub bondage.
>> Anonymous
Try r9k.
>> Anonymous
If you're so uncomfortable with it therapy is probably the best route. Go to someone who concentrates on sexual acceptance, they'll be able to help you more than anyone else as they deal with people who are put off by their own fetishes.
>> Anonymous
In general I'd say that's what porn is for: to enjoy shit too fucked up to enact or admit to IRL. I have relatively normal and perfectly satisfying sex with my wife, then I turn to porn for futa and shit like that, which she doesn't know I'm into and which would undoubtedly freak her out.

Of course, if you're really to the point you can't get off on anything else, then that's a problem.
>> Anonymous
find someone who accepts you. nevar conform!
>> Anonymous
I tried /b/ but the thread was deleted (but not after I got a really /b/ comment).

Therapy really seems like the way to go. I don't have insurance right now though so I'm worried I wouldn't be able to afford it. Until I can, I'm just going to try as many measures as I can to get this out of my head.

So, onto the topic of segueing fetishes: what other fetishes depend on total loss of control? Is there anything you /d/eviants are into that might be helpful or interesting to me?

Also I've heard that your sexual appetite mellows out as you get older. I have a friend that was really into futa in high school and now he can't get aroused by it (although he still likes pegging). I hope something like that happens to me and I can just become interested in subordination.

I found an extremely cheap therapist but she seems extremely sex negative. Maybe if I work out some of my own personal issues, this fetish will seem less desirable to me.

Thanks for all of the input and for listening to my problem.
>> Anonymous
>>1095225

I can get off to other things but they would be almost as weird. Well, pet fetish isn't that weird, on the scale of normal to odd fetishes, right? Or is it?
>> Anonymous
>>1095231

My biggest worry is that I wouldn't be able to find a stable person into my fetish. Also, I really do not want to practice this fetish in my everyday life.

The person I'm with is extremely important to me, someone I don't want to lose. I'd almost be willing to never orgasm again if I thought it would help, but it makes me seem like a reluctant and shitty sex partner to be so focused on one thing.
>> Anonymous
See, this is okay in my opinion. OP isn't requesting something, posting someone completely unrelated to /d/, or something against the rules.

TBH OP, I think you may be worrying over nothing. We can't exactly choose what arouses us. If your significant other truly cares about you, they won't leave you over something like this. They might say 'no', but they shouldn't just up and leave you.

Have some courage. Be yourself.
>> Anonymous
I think your fear over the fetish is causing what would normally get you off to stop working as well. Anxiety is the biggest cause of sexual dysfunction. Just keep it private. My girl of 3 years doesn't know and will never know my love of futas, because how the fuck do you explain that to a girl who doesn't even like anime? Keep it separate, stop worrying, enjoy normalcy.
>> Anonymous
>>1095236
When you say total loss of control do you mean losing control of yourself, having someone else control you or both?
>> Anonymous
>>1095360

Do you ever find yourself getting way too into futa porn so that it effects however else you get off?

I'm glad to talk to /d/ about it because you guys have valid advice, rather than the things I've googled that say "tell your significant other and if they don't like it, fuck them." Seriously, some fetishes are pretty weird, and no matter how much someone loves you it would be hard to move past something like that.

But I think I will relax about it. I think the less I focus on this fetish, probably the more likely it will be that I'll be able to get off to other things.
>> Anonymous
>>1095375

Either/or. I do really like the idea of someone else having complete control over me and being powerless to do anything about it. Or having no control over liking something. Plus I think that shame and humiliation play a big part in my fetishes.
>> Anonymous
What OP is actually begging for is to be further degraded into infantism and submission.

I say we help.
>> Anonymous
>>1095381
I pretty much have the same kinks as you sans infantilism. If you like not being in control, try something like smothering.
>> Anonymous
>>1095382

No, but thanks anyway. That would be like bringing a keg to an AA meeting.
>> Anonymous
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>>1095360
You could begin to explain it by extolling up the virtues of androgyny for a while. I mean, that's why I like futa, the blending of traditionally masculine and feminine characteristics. I've got pretty good self-esteem and drive to improve myself, which is good in everyday life but strange in sexuality. If one likes an aspect of a thing, one will often try to become more like that thing or adopt that aspect. This one finds women attractive, but is a man and likes many aspects of manhood. Ergo, this one finds something in between the gender structures (and thus closer to its impression of itself) strangely attractive.
>> Anonymous
>>1095378

No, I rotate what porn I look at based on mood. One day it's nothing but futa, another day it's real porn.

I totally stand by my comment that you're letting it get to you far too much, it's an obsessive thing. I get obsessive about lots of stuff, magic cards, transformers, all that shit but I eventually learned to control it by rationalizing it. "I could buy this $100 exclusive transformer, or lubricate my car suspension and redo the brakes."

If it comes down to whether you really want to get off and the only thing that's going to do it that day is infantalism, just don't get off. Try and ween yourself off of it long enough that you can look at it when you're in the mood and not be totally dependent on it. It just might work.
>> Anonymous
>>1095414

That sounds like a good idea. I had actually almost managed to wean myself off of it so much so that when I looked at that kind of porn it didn't even arouse me much. Then, out of the blue, it returned.
>> tada
>>1095231
this man speaks truth. you will only regret and then risk regressing back.
>> Anonymous
>>1095417

You'll never stop enjoying it, just learn how to avoid dependency.
>> Anonymous
well this is how I would go about it,
Go the therapy.
Explain it to your gf, she should be understanding. Who knows she might be convinced to take control one in a while.
If you worry to much about it it will only make your sex life worse
>> Anonymous
Hump a cheese grater

And use your pants zip as lubricant


Works everytime ^___^
>> Anonymous
>>1095211
their first point is very valid. refuse yourself of obliging that fetish and it will die. I speak from experience. Had an odd fetish, wanted to get rid of it, didn't allow myself to indulge and the fetish was gone within a month. It is difficult the first week and the first part of the second week is ridiculous, but if you can make it past the second week and just continue to not indulge, it will be gone.
>> Anonymous
>>1095509
Thanks. This is quite reassuring.
>> Anonymous
>>1095529
I think I wouldn't be with someone that wouldn't at least accept you for having a fetish. Now if she doesn't want to engage in it, that's fine. And you'll just have to either A) Fap to it by yourself when you want or B) Slowly ease her into being ok with it.

Though you seem set on just killing your fetish, so whatever.
>> Anonymous
>>1095556

I'm not sure how my partner would think of me after knowing about that kind of fetish. I don't want to risk all that we have on something I don't even want to acknowledge to myself, let alone share.
>> Anonymous
My advice would be not to tell your partner.

Everyone is grossed out by everyone else's fetish, and when it comes to infantilism you are fucking around with fundamental gender roles which could bite you in the ass in the form of your partner losing respect for you.

The PC thing to say would be some crap like "tell your partner and, if he/she can't handle it then that person was not the one for you". Fuck that, happiness is fleeting, few people ever hook up with someone they really love, if you're even a little bit happy together don't fuck it up over some stupid sex thing.

Indulging disgusting fantasies is what the internet is for.
>> Audovoice
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It strikes me that you are trying to find something that causes an effect (arousal). What you need to do is find something (new fetish) and cause an effect (arousal). There is a lot to why a fetish finds fertile ground in your psyche, BUT...
Fetishes are basically Pavlovian responses. In other words the strength of your fetish is from all those times you got a sexual kick from the fetish and perhaps went off to fap or fuck.

So to get a new fetish to compete with the old fetish would be to find some thing that gets you a little hot (used to) and view that then fap even if you are not that into it. If you keep on doing that I think eventually when you see lets say and old rubber boot, you will be conditioned to know it's time to fuck and your body will stand to attention. Daft cunts used to try to condition a sexual response to try to turn gay people straight but all it did was give them a fetish that kind got meteorically tacked onto the rest of there libido with a nasty clang sound that creeked for a bit before falling over the retarded psychologist's engineering.

But if you want to try to change who am I do argue. I would say when your girl freind does some thing that you find excites focus on that. It might be some thing simple as a way she bend or a way she bends you. See my pic for example it is all about body language as much as that fact that is is futa. The fact is that it has at least 2 fetishes, the way she is sitting and futa but most people would only notice the most obvious bit but there is also the feet and the brown hair and so on.
>> Anonymous
>>1095206
I'm trying to wean myself from my /d/ too (tentacle, parasite, impreg), and I'm finding that there are /h/ pictures with similar poses or facial expressions that also get me off, while also being less fucked up.

My general rule of thumb is that for every /h/ picture I add, I have to pick 2 /d/ pictures to delete from my collection.
>> Anonymous
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It comes down to the difference between fantasy and reality.

I like a little man on beast porn, but I'd be horrified if I met one who admitted that he liked actually doing it. I had a landlord who was into women and animals and almost came in his pants when his friends brought over their annoying crotch-sniffing dog which got rather too friendly with me; the freak was so thrilled when it would be clear to anyone else that the situation was simply as it was: it was an annoying crotch-sniffer dog that should have had its balls chopped off and been sent to basic obedience classes.

I also like a little light bondage, but I've met people into the actual bondage lifestyle, and frankly, they came very close to killing it for me because they couldn't 'turn it off'. I shared house with one (and accommodated her OCD, serious control freak issues and her constant "I'll LET you do this" when I was paying half the fucking rent), was so-called friends with one (who tried to destroy my writing as it was better than hers, and who told me we were no longer friends when my mother finally received a life-saving op that she'd waited two agonising years for; I was no longer in pain so I wasn't interesting any more).

I have various fetishes and etceteras, but they're just fantasies, not lifestyles. I feel no compulsion to actually carry them out. There's a vast difference between something that lives inside your head and something you're compelled to do. You don't 'have' to do anything. If you do 'have' to do something, then your fetish is ruling your life and is no longer a fetish but a compulsion, a mental illness. On the upside infantalisim is not one that focuses on hurting other people so it might not necessarily be a bad compulsion to have, if you must have one.
>> Anonymous
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>>1095623

There are solutions:

1. If your girl is a happy sub, she may be more understanding than you realise.

2. Understand why you have the fetish. As I said, I don't mind a little man on beast. Why? I'm not hugely fond of the male race and I find the prospect of a man willingly degrading himself...kinda hot. But knowing where the fetish comes from takes away a lot of the power, and I can face it, acknowledge the inherent absurdity and illogic of both it and the reasons behind it.

3. Therapy may help but...mmm. It might not. I've had unfortunate run-ins with sexual predators and talking about this sort of thing just seemed to embed it further in them and convince them that they have a 'relationship' with me. Bad things followed. If you want to rid yourself of a fetish then you'll probably need therapy a step higher than what your cheap therapist is offering (and just a point here, things that are cheap are generally cheap for a reason.)

4. Ignore it.

5. Indulge yourself porn and fantasies. It's your head and your wang, play with them all you like.

Frankly, it's weird but hey, you're not hurting anyone even if you do decide to indulge it. Except perhaps your GF. Remember: If you are a mentally sound adult YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT. If you HAVE to do it, then you're got compulsion disorder issues which counts as mental illness no matter what the compulsion actually is. If you do decide to tell your GF, who knows, maybe she'll happily participate. Just be aware that she may feel comfortable enough to share her secret fetish with you and people can get very, very strange.
>> Audovoice
>>1095601
This kind of got away from me towards the end. But I guess I was saying that it does not need to be a weird fetish just so long as it is strong one.
>> Anonymous
>>1095206
i dont know if it was sugested, but what you like is the losing total control part, right.

well get her some dominatrix gear, some nice rope, and for the "sex partner utterly and completely dominating me" get a 6 inch by i believe 1-2 inch wide strap on for her.

she may like it as much as you. and its FAR less creapy than infantilism... i mean FAR LESS CREAPY. just play it out in your head.

hay hunny, you know how you want kids...

apposed to, hay honny, make my your bitch
>> nnms
How often do you generally have sex or masturbate? See if you can put more time between when you do, avoiding anything that could arouse you, specifically the fetish you want to get rid of. Then, once you find yourself getting horny at just the slightest hint of sex, have "normal" sex with your girlfriend.

My reasoning is that you would begin to associate arousal, climax and all that stuff with having "normal" sex with your girlfriend instead of having it attached to your current fetish.
>> Anonymous
I think the main problem here is that you're a sub who's with another sub. been there done that and it doesn't work out.

sure it seems ok at first, especially if you like each other but if the sexual frission isn't there then alot of everything else dies.

sad fact is it's better to be with someone you get along with but don't love if the sex is great than vise versa.

my current relationship is with a very dominant girl. and alot of times it's a pain in the bum because she's very controlling. but even if she isn't as nice as my ex we mesh better.
>> Anonymous
I have an idea. Maybe you can help yourself by helping me. Possibly, you can find an answer to your problems through helping others (teach-back I think they call it).

I have a dilemma OP. I'm into transformation as my choice of fetish. Women turning from themselves into an animal, turning to stone, turning to or even part-way into something and staying the rest. I don't know why really, but I think it's very hot. I'm not dependent on this fetish, as I still find just a naked woman to be profoundly arousing. However, my problem arises in re-enactment.

How can I indulge in my fantasy? I can't very well magically transform or even scientifically transform my mate into something, even half way. And it's not the end result that turns me on, it's the act of the mutation. Your fetish can be easily done (I'm not sure if that offends you, so... no offense) where as mine seems impossible. I can't think of anything to do that would allow me to par take in my fetish while in bed with my lover.

How would I solve my problem? the closest I've come is thinking about furries... but they are a breed I wouldn't live near let alone interact sexually with. Besides, they don't turn into the furry, they put on the suit before it begins. That's of no use to me. The other choice I thought of was along the lines of mud wrestling. Where as you get more and more into it, we both become more and more covered and "changed," but I have yet tried it considering the requirement of materials, preparation, and a willing partner.

Any help?
>> Anonymous
>>1095884
well why don't you do something like covering her with liquid latex. I even know a couple who get off on covering each other in plaster of Paris/paper mache
>> Anonymous
>>1095888
Hmmmm... wow. Or body paint would probably work. Then again, this brings me back to the whole mud wrestling thing. I would need to set up for it and have someone who I like and would be willing to do it with me. But yeah... liquid latex is also pretty sexy.
>> Anonymous
>>1095884

Not the OP, but bodypaint + shower is probably as close to a transormation as you're going to get in RL.