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Anonymous
>>545155 So in other words, your boyfriend doesn't want to help you reenact your sexual abuse? Can you prove to yourself and him without a shadow of a doubt that it isn't what you're trying to do here? To instead of working on resolving the past, you're trying to mentally rewrite it and confirm that old world view that was imposed on you in a milder form?
I'm all for trust and kinkier ways of bonding, but you really might want to re-evaluate your own motives for this. Because if you really want him to trust you, you need to show that he can trust you with it. Try some domming, that should show that you're strong enough not to lock up. And really: inch your way into being dominated further with him. Have him do a little more each time, prove to him that you're not afraid of using the safe word and that you won't lock up. Have and decide training sessions where you make sure to use the safe word at least once each twenty minutes, where he too is allowed to say it as dom, without you getting upset with him. These are about seeing where both of your limits are. Pick one activity, start from mild, and slowly and gradually work your way up until either of you say the safe word, preferably you. Rinse and repeat, using a different activity each time, sessions of three times in a row twice or thrice a week should be a good pace. That will give you time to also in depth discuss any issues that might arise. Communication, communication, communication: a vital part in a healthy relationship. Discuss the past and following sessions. Discuss how they make you feel, what you liked and disliked. Don't belittle each other, don't be afraid of being honest (protip: bluntness is not the same as rudeness).
Within a few weeks he should feel comfortable with intensive domming without too much co-planning, and trust you to know where your limit is.
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