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Anonymous
With respect to sealing up, there are always plugs that work quite well in that capacity. Be a bit wary of them though as extensive use can result in some rather strange effects over time, specifically the decline of being able to tell when you actually do have to use the bathroom or not. From those I've spoken to, this sort of thing isn't relevant for short term use.
With respect to strange things that we've done with masturbation... When I was much younger I had gotten ahold of a dildo that I would put to good use in my room when I thought that I was completely alone. One day I was doing my thing when I was interrupted, and since I was already almost completely dressed as is I just pulled my pants up in a blind panic when the door knob started to turn [nobody around here knocked back then, apparently], with the toy still in me. My mother needed me to go and do something, which led to doing something somewhere else, which led to going shopping at a few stores, which led to dinner at my grandparent's house, and so on. Nearly 10 hours of this little bit of cock shaped jelly wriggling, emitting a subtle hum as it danced around, stirring me up inside. By the time I had a chance to do something about it, the batteries had long since died.
May not be /d/ material, but certainly fits the question.
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