File :-(, x, )
Silent Sea Revenge Translation Ehhh.....
Yesterday, I realized while reading Silent Sea Revenge that I was actually able to understand a fair deal of it... and I broke out my kanji dictionary and a text editing program, just to see where I got... one thing lead to another, and I ended up translating, more or less, the entire thing into what I deem to be acceptable English. There are some places that are kind of loose, but I think I ended up getting the feel of what was being said pretty well.

I've never actually tried this before, but I'm seriously considering doing some work in photoshop and then giving it to my fellow 4channers... Where this sudden genial streak comes from concerns me, but while it lasts, I figured that I may as well go with it.

Now, I know next to nothing about One Piece, and the sample page of translation is still kind of a rough draft, both visually and linguistically, but I thought I'd ask for feedback, since I haven't ever tried this. Any is appreciated, as is praise (however meaningless).
>> Ehhh.....
     File :-(, x)
Oh, and on the off chance that anybody with a working knowledge of Japanese feels like critiquing my translation, or just flat out insulting it, here's a copy of the original.
>> Fanto
You wouldn't happen to have this for d/l would you?
>> Anonymous
I approve of the translation. I couldn't go through all of it (I'm not good enough), but what I was able to follow was good.

That said, more please! [luffy-voice]It's soooo haaaaawt![/luffy-voice]
>> Anonymous
nice
>> Anonymous
Yea, sauce of this would be much appreciated, it's art appeals to me, plus its dickgirls
>> Anonymous
Yes, please moar!
>> Anonymous
Id like to say that the translation made pretty good sense to me, and i agree with the others, sauce
>> Anonymous
All in all not a bad job at all. Here's my critique:

- Please match the punctuation up. Timing is everything. Although you should note a certain distinction, in that in Japanese a "..." indicates silence, whereas in normal English it means (a) you omitted part of a quote, (b) you are pausing in the middle of a statement, or (c) you are trailing off. There's a difference, even if it's very subtle.
- Please learn better editing techniques (I know it's difficult, but it pays off). Among other things, your lettering doesn't go into the bubbles quite that well (yes, I know you don't really have the option of going vertical too often, but you should work around it to the best of your ability). Also, unless the scan is plain old TERRIBLE, you should align the page to be straight up and down vertically (hello, did you know that the human eye is awful at all sorts of perception tests EXCEPT determining whether something is 90-degrees? Well, if you didn't, now you do) and correctly apply the levelling tool as well as clean the crap (speckles, etc.) before you apply the lettering. Also nice is to not use JPG and instead opt to convert to a few greyscale colors and use PNG format (at this point it's a little obsessive, yes, but dialup people will appreciate the effort).
- IMHO translating Japanese honorifics should be flexible unless the situation demands titles (e.g. you are actually in Japan in which case you're totally allowed to weeaboo in your "-san"s and such, you're talking with royalty in which case close attention should be paid to titles). It's simply not a part of natural English speech, and anyone who inappropriately adds them into their speech should be reported to the Grammar Gestapo.
>> Bing! You get skeleton key!
Bing! I approve!
>> SMAP
Some thoughts:
>Although you should note a certain distinction, in that in Japanese a "..." indicates silence, whereas in... [deletia]
To nitpick, I'm not aware of any other method in English to specify a period of silence with a text bubble, though I read only a limited number of American comics, so it could simply be something that hasn't stuck in my memory. It _is_ used in weeaboo American releases (Final Fantasy in particular comes to mind.

>(at this point it's a little obsessive, yes, but dialup people will appreciate the effort).
No offense, but dialup persons are pretty strongly in the minority. I'm afraid at a certain point you have to simply accept that users on the lower end of the spectrum may have difficulties- and that it is their own problem. In a doujin this small the savings are not particularly significant, anyways. (Now, if this were a 200+ page manga, on the other hand...)

>It's simply not a part of natural English speech, and anyone who inappropriately adds them into their speech should [deletia]
Text is very different from speech; while they would certainly be inappropriate in "conversational" text (talking to a friend online, etc) barring wacky nicknames, I think in a fan-intended release like this they can have value. Most of the honorifics don't have precise English equivilents, so keeping them (a minor sin at best) can retain a lot of meaning that is otherwise lost. In an offical release I would object to them, but given the intended audience for this is probably so far gone they wouldn't even notice anyways. However, I think that it's nescessary to be a bit more consistant, either using them or not rather than on-again off-again appearances.

Looks good overall, although watch the sticking to literal phrasings over more natural ones. ("Say selfish things" as opposed to "be selfish," for example.)
>> Anonymous
please use a real comic font (or at least http://www.blambot.com/ fonts)
>> Anonymous
>>336723
?????????????????????…
This should be: You shouldn't say such selfish things and trouble mistress Arvida...
Or even: You shouldn't trouble mistress Arvida by saying such selfish things...

????????…???????????????
I have long dreamed of it... to rape Nami's pussy with this cock...
>> Anonymous
>>337013
I agree, the font sucks.
>> svfvff
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
>>337016
I left off part of the second line, but ignore that, the tl is for the full line.
>> trenTT !!6MI0dra9GhC
love this comic
>> Ehhh.....
More of a response than I'd figured... xP

Thanks to the responses giving suggestions on the translations--it's always difficult to go immediately from one language's grammar to another, and it sometimes produces awkward results. I'm still in the process of cleaning it up, and what you see there already underwent some change since the initial translation, just in the process of typing it out in Elements. I'll clean the grammar/word choice up more as I go, of course.

SMAP's response to Anonymous covers most of the things that I'd be able to do, and the rest of Anonymous's complaints would be difficult for me to fix--I don't have a hard copy of the manga and the sample is in pretty much unchanged, edit-wise, from the way that I downloaded it--the exception being that I saved it in a significantly higher JPEG compression so that it would be easier to upload and download, though it doesn't seem to have suffered very much from that--compare to the original. As far as straightening things up to precise degree measures, it would be difficult to do without sacrificing the scan size--which I think is less preferable, in general--due to the fact that this is the way I got it, and I'd have to do some edge cropping. There are some places in this scan that bug me, I'll admit, but overall it seems to me to be of a decent quality--it never distracted me while I was perusing it.

Finally: Aww, I liked the font.

Eh, it was the best one I could find on short notice, since Comic Sans sucks ass. I'll probably hunt down a better font if it bugs people that much, though.
>> Anonymous
/r/ raw source
>> svfvff
>>337046

http://rapidshare.com/files/16211347/SILENT_SEA_Revenge__.zip
>> Anonymous
I don't know any japanese, but it always bugged me when the dialogue was always all weeaboo'd up. If it's in english then some english phrases rather than just translated japanese would sound better.
>> Anonymous
>>336723
One of my favorite DG doujins even though i hate One Piece. You should submit it to Life of Sara once you finish the translation.
>> Anonymous
Font aside, the scripting could use some work. Other than that, looks fairly good. Hope it'll be finished soon ^_^
>> Mel
Thanks so much for doing this, it looks like a great comic to begin with and 4Chan appreciates it. Or some of us do.

Response to>>336786

- Please match the punctuation up. Timing is everything. Although you should note a certain distinction, in that in Japanese a "..." <deletia>

As a comic book writer, there is no good way to indicate total silence in English, other than to have a panel with no speech, or a new speech bubble. So you're better off keeping the '...', we'll get the gist.

- Please learn better editing techniques Also, unless the scan is plain old TERRIBLE, you should align the page to be straight up and down vertically <deletia>

This has got nothing at all to do with you. You are doing us a massive favor. You didn't scan the original in. So, with respect, if Anon wishes to be so obsessive and anal about his scans, Anon can do this once you've finished.

IMHO, whatever you do on this board, lurkers will always want MOAR and MOAR. Don't let them burn you out. Thks again.
>> Anonymous
>>337081
Life of Sara?
>> Crap
>>337056
It not working for me
>> Anonymous
>>336723
If you prove it, I'll habeeb it.
>> soundwave !.QqkDUCQV2
zipper's broken
>> Anonymous
where the fuck is the link to the translation?
>> Anonymous
AWSOME
>> Anonymous
>>337235
Why are you looking for a translation when you can't even read the English in this thread?
>> Anonymous
>>337235
Haven't you read ? It's still in progress.
>> Anonymous
bump for encouragement!
>> Anonymous
>>337016

wow that wasn't very helpful. seriously.

>>337042

I happen to like the font. So please keep it. :)

>>336786

I personally hate it when translators feel compelled to change something like "Anonymous-san" into "Mr. Anonymous" or sometimes even "Anon-chan" into "Little Anon". It sounds stupid. Keep the darned honorifics. They help with portraying the intended meaning of the original content without sacrificing anything other than a little bubble space.
>> Anonymous
>>337125

>whatever you do on this board, lurkers will always want MOAR and MOAR

Fucking truth. OP, just do it the way you want to do it. It's cool to ask us to help improve your localization, but in the end, do it your way. Your sanity will be preserved by telling us to fuck off and take it or leave it.

>>337342

Again, truth, re honorifics. Sometimes you can simply omit them entirely though. The japanese use them quite often in, what in english would be entirely unneccesary situations socially.
>> Image formats Anonymous
It look like>>336786doesn't really understand why manga should use PNG. The real reason is that JPEG causes unpleasant fuzziness around any sharp color transition, like between black letters and lines and the white background. In your images they aren't very noticeable because you have a low compression ratio, but they are there and they make the art and the text slightly uglier.

PNGs will usually be bigger than JPEGs, but as you said there aren't a lot of dial-up users.

Otherwise, the doujin looks cool and your translation is at least better than average (I'd need to see more text to really judge.) And use a less ornate font, like others suggested.

Tip: have a buddy proof-read the thing before you post it. It's always annoying when you find typos later.