File :-(, x, )
What does anon seek? Anonymous
This anon seeks a mature, attractive, two faced partner for secret mission purposes. The ideal candidate can participate in cooking or shopping in the lingerie section for me. He should have a genuine desire to cook and kill at any given moment, and leave a considerable amount of leftovers.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Oh, I'd love to!
>> Anonymous
Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.
>> Anonymous
go back to /ck/
>> Anonymous
>>521446
Source and series?
>> Anonymous
>>521564

Ah ha ha ha! Oh, wow.
>> Anonymous
this thread is in quantum hyperstate
it could collapse into being made of lulz and win or of ljfaggotry and fail
bumpin out of curiosity

>>521546
OH U
>> Anonymous
>>521565
Umm...What?
>> Anonymous
>>521669
It's Bible Black.
>> ­
     File :-(, x)
This anon seeks an immature, brother-obsessed, ranting beansprout as a partner. He must have an ego as fragile and delicate as spun glass, and throw a massive temper tantrum if anyone makes any reference to anything small within his earshot as if they'd personally insulted him. Bonus points for having strong alchemical ability for getting things like dripping sinks fixed around the house. Even more bonus points for being under five feet tall and so thin he probably still has to shop in the children's section.
>> ­
     File :-(, x)
Wanted for LTR: Cantankerous, rude, foulmouthed and occasionally extremely vulgar older man with impossibly high standards of perfection. I'll swoon for you if you smoke like a chimney and swear like a whole ship full of sailors. Harsh, abrasive personality a must, as is chin stubble as thin and scraggly as a sixteen year old's. Considerate, kind, soft-spoken men need not apply.
>> ­
Bump for lulz
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
This anon seeks a moe albino psuedo-shota that compensates for his fragile appearance with a smartass attitude and jaded outlook on life to love tenderly.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
This furinon seeks a young, yet mature man with a scary voice, who will scream at her for no other reason than because he is a control freak for a partner. Ideally, the candidate must have a bad past with a hot ex-boyfriend, an obsession with balls, and a very jaded personality.
>> Anonymous
This is made of winz.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
This anon seeks a partner with a bad attitude, rather sadistic outlook on life, and a strange food fetish; preferably blonde. Must look good in leather, know how to handle a gun, and occasionally be mistaken for a women. Scar/blowing self up is optional.
>> Llyander
     File :-(, x)
This namefag seeks the eternal comfort of a personal anime-style slaveboy who exists soley in my own world, to squeal over and jealously guard from a horde of others who wish to claim him as their own. I really REALLY seek this because I'm too insecure or obnoxious to get a real boy.
>> ­
     File :-(, x)
DO -YOU- HAVE EVERY STD KNOWN TO MAN? Wanted: a skinny son of a gun with no visible muscle definition and bright ginger hair visible from space. You must be cocky, completely full of yourself, and give the impression that you'll sleep with anything that moves, and maybe a few things that don't move, too (if you haven't already slept with them, that is.) You must have a long, stiff rod. It's a bonus if you have a weapon, too.
>> ­
     File :-(, x)
LONG LOCKS AND LONELY HEARTS - Wanted: Mother-obsessed musclebound formal general turned mental patient. Must possess a sword of such absurd length that it's patently obvious to everyone that you're compensating for something. Calf-length silver hair that's never one strand out of place a must, as is an absurdly femininely delicate face on an exaggeratedly masculine body. Can -you- burn down an entire town without batting an eyelash? Contact me. Men who spend their time volunteering at the local homeless shelter or wandering around out of their minds with mako poisoning need not apply.
>> Anonymous
This anon seeks somebody.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
BECAUSE LUNG CANCER IS DAMN SEXY - Seeking a nerdy, 4channer-like slacker that smokes like a dying chimney. Must be lazy and dick around a lot (figuratively and literally), sometimes even jeopardizing life or death situations, and have awful fashion sense. Must be obsessed with video-games and have already beaten Halo III with only 23 minutes of sleep. Cannot be taller than 5'6", because short guys are pimp. Goggles are optional; booze, stale chips, and dirty hookers are mandatory.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
IF I WISHED IT HARD ENOUGH, WOULD WE DIE PEACEFULLY TOGETHER? - This anon seeks a hotblooded carnivorous family man with a moemoe catgirl complex. He should be a complete slut but also a wonderful, loving, caring hazubando/waifu/papa. Bonus points for having the vocal chords of a character from a dated video game franchise. Hair length doesn't matter, but shark teeth and cat eyes are a must.
>> Anonymous
These anons seek lj, apparently.
>> ­
     File :-(, x)
ANGST? LAY IT ON ME WITH A TROWEL! - I'm looking for a man whose inner demons are literally demons. Have you wasted the last thirty-odd years of your life pining for a woman who you never even dated? Are you so aloof and emotionally detatched from everything else that people think -you- are the robot in the group? Do you look like you must own stock in Hot Topic because all your clothing comes from there? You just might be the man for me. Brooding and moping in the full moon is a must, as is the absolute refusal to release those events that happened three decades ago and move on with your life.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT - Wanted: Hot clone of Jesus Christ with white spiky hair that could poke someone’s eye out if he hasn’t already done so with his arsenal of 10 yen coins, records, or manhole covers. Must want to become the world’s best singer in order to give hope to the youth of the world rather then causing a world wide teenager rebellion like he was created to cause.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>521446
You called?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Anon seeks a tall, middle-aged male with silver hair, lazy and/or sarcastic disposition and penchant for all things sweet. Literally. Will bribe with crates of strawberry Nesquik if necessary. Must also enjoy fanboying over cheesy shounen manga and cutting retards down to size if needed.
>> Anonymous
>>522600
Isn't he in his lower or mid twenties?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
ANON SEEKING MAD HENTAI ARTIST who's hard-working, studious, and eager to learn. ALSO sweet, dedicated, sexually deprived and willing to go on late-night ramen runs across town on bicycle. Toilet obsession NOT required.
>> Anonymous
>>522600
>middle-aged

lolwut?
>> Anonymous
...
>> Anonymous
>>524076
maybe where that anon lives, early twenties IS middle-aged.

poor third world country anon.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
BATSHIT CRAZY- Seeking a 29 year old clerk who is curt and has a short temper. Must be obsessive and desperate, followed by manifestation of sexuality and guilt, a strange pension for pillows, and a serious case of suicidal reckless abandon. Pocket flashlight for a bonus.
>> Yakitori
     File :-(, x)
I WILL RUN WITH YOU INTO THE SUNSET, BEYOND THE MAJESTIC CRASHING WAVES!! Desperately seeking a smooth-voiced, passionate partner who is not afraid to embrace his youth despite his own age. Must look good in green spandex. Willing to take long walks on my hands alongside him due to lost bets, and more than willing to accept his sudden bouts of manly tears. Already have a surrogate son? That's just fine, I'm willing to adopt!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
This anon seeks a cocky, daring U.S. agent, who loves quiet walks through spooky graveyards, and enjoys going to the shooting range. Must not be afraid of any type of monsters, including ones that love to eat brains, or crazy Europeans. He should be able to switch quickly from gun-toting specialist to a loving, seductive man. Abilities not limited to using windows as doors, and making sarcastic/cocky comments.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
RAPE RAPE RAPE- Seeking a hulking, menacing representation of guilt and a need for punishment. Willing to put up with rape, skewering, and spankings. Must love big cutlery.