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tl;dr Gumshoe Thread Anonymous
Poor Detective Gumshoe. He works so hard. He's always first on the scene, and yet he never quite gets it right. He puts so much time and effort into each and every case, but his salary just keeps getting cut down every time he opens his mouth. I almost cried when he was getting all excited over finding a dollar in the snow, /v/, I really did. I want to buy him a big, juicy rib-eye steak, with a steaming great pile of hash browns on the side. I want to watch his loveable, ape-like face as he bites into the delicious prime quality beef, tears of joy and appreciation running down his cheeks.

Then I'd take him home, back to my place. No sad little apartment in Compton for him tonight. I wouldn't light candles, because it'd just remind him of his inability to pay his electric bill. Instead, I'd put all the lights on, leave the tv running gently in the background, and blast the aircon on full for him. I'd take off his sweaty, worn shoes and massage his massive feet, working out all the aches and pains. I'd rub my hands slowly up his hairy calves, caressing every part of his stout, stubby legs.

But I wouldn't stop there, oh no. Slowly and reassuringly, I'd run my hand up to his crotch, grabbing a hold of his thick, meaty penis, watching his face betray puzzlement, pleasure, and yes, a sorrowful longing, a craving for the intimacy that Maggey denies him. Rubbing my fingers back and forward over his wide member, I'd gently whisper sweet nothings into his ear, telling him it was going to be okay, and that he never had to eat instant noodles ever again. And then, /v/, I'd move in for the kiss, his leathery lips meeting my own, our thick stubble tickling and rubbing each other as our tongues intertwine, sealing our pact, marking the beginning of a long and loving future together.
>> Anonymous
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tl;dr indeed, but do want this thread.
>> Anonymous
Oh, /v/, you're so deliciously gay.
>> Anonymous
text is so effing hilarious
>> Anonymous
/v/?
>> Anonymous
>>766064
because it's copypasta from /v/
>> Anonymous
;w; beautiful!
>> Anonymous
I lol'd.
I'd do the same thing.
>> Anonymous
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> Oh, /v/, you're so deliciously gay.
>> Anonymous
I lol'd then I lol'd and I lol'd again.
Then I noticed I was horny damn you awesome /v/ copy-pasta
>> Anonymous
/v/ LOEV Gumshoe.