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Anonymous File :-(, x)
24, male, hetero, virgin, never dated, etc, etc.
For a couple of years, I had a... can't actually call it a crush, more like there was a certain girl, and if she, at some point, happened to ask me out, I probably wouldn't have turned her down.
Yet I wasn't sure what to make of her. She seemed interested in me, but then, she seemed friendly to pretty much everyone. I kept cordial and quiet.
About eight or nine months ago, I started to suspect that she might be genuinely interested in me. She seemed to be dropping hints, and these appeared to grow more blatant with time. I maintained my distance; I was (and still am) disinclined to trust others, and I certainly was not about to chance making a fool of myself.
Then one day, she did something completely unexpected. She walked over to me, and started to talk. As she was talking, she continued to close the distance between us, maneuvering herself around to my side. I froze. Any time anyone had ever gotten this close to me before, it meant that I was about to find myself on the receiving end of a Biblical thrashing.
She didn't hit me. She didn't shove me, trip me, or otherwise knock me off balance. There was no blow to my solar plexus, no shot at my jaw. Instead, she placed her head in the crook of my shoulder and leaned into me.
I shut down. There's no other phrase that describes it. I felt like I left my body, and could see the two of us from the third person. My body was frozen solid; I couldn't move, speak, I couldn't think. I could feel, though. It was like my shoulder was burning. In the past, I'd sustained second-degree burns from a hot stove element, and now I was feeling that pain all over again. I wanted to run. I needed to get away from there. I couldn't deal with standing so close.
(cont'd)
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