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Anonymous
Anyone know how to carbonate a cat?
>> Anonymous
Feed it hamburgers?
>> Anonymous
if bitter wasn't gay, i'd hit it.
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>150185
Look, I'm gonna follow you home anyway, so you might as well make it easy and just get in the goddamn truck.
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>150186
Baby, you light my forest fire.
>> Anonymous
>>150187
goddamn, bitter says the kinkiest things
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>150190
So I asked him "Do you love me?" and he said, "No, but that's a really nice ski mask."
>> Anonymous
>>150027
You're supposed to carbonate drinks, not cats.
>> Anonymous
>>150206
it's that kind of thinking that holds science back!
>> Anonymous
give it a lot of root beer?
>> Anonymous
>>150027
your cat must be in liquid form before the carbonation process. Your cat must also be chilled while in liquid form. Now, I don't know how both of these can be obtained at the same time unless you were in an area with extremely high atmospheric pressure (like, say, the outer core of the Earth).
By the way, cats, like all other living creatures, have many non-H2O ingredients such as carbon, calcium, nitrogen, etc... and having these many non-H2O ingredients in the liquid makes it difficult to carbonate, so I wouldn't recommend it in the first place.
But assuming you somehow manage this combination of liquification and chilling, you must also put the cat in a sturdy closed container and spin it around in a circular motion while simultaneously dispensing pressurized carbon dioxide. As you do this, you have to release the gradually increasing pressure from within the container prevent an explosion and continue dispensing the carbon dioxide until it fills the entire container.
Do you have 8 hands? Because if you don't, this is going to be really hard.
>> Anonymous
I lvoe you, BA... You are smaller than three (other Anons?)
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>150604
You don't compliment a man by saying he is smaller than someone. However true it might be, considering I am a teddy bear and many Anons are hulking hambeasts, I could take this as an insult on my genitals, which might be true if horses read 4chan.

I choose to take this as e-peen stroking, and rightfully hate you. Please die in a fire.
>> Anonymous
>>150607

Actually, I wonder.

You see, the defendant said 'you are smaller than three.'

Another way of saying smaller, is less than.

Less than three, can also be written as <3.

Ergo, it is possibly he meant 'you are love'.

Still e-peen stroking, though.
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>150610
I am clearly not love. One might say I am anti-love. I am the funnel through which snailcat's infinate haet reaches the internet. I exist to combat all of the fluffy kittens and hearts and glitter on the internet.
>> Anonymous
Oh man, I should know better than to browse chans while drunk. "I el-voe you" indeed... But yeah, I diid mean "less than", not "smaller than". Language barrier, etc.
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>150624

Watching while you sleep
You sleep with your mouth open
Which is convenient