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Anonymous
Like some sort of hideous beast from a fucking zombie movie, it hears me approach and sits up, swinging what's left of its head to "look" at me. Jesus Christ. Blood is pouring out of the red, fleshy space that used to be connected to the rest of his head. Then it did the worst thing imaginable.
It puffed itself up and started HISSING. It's their usual defense mechanism, but this time, it was FUCKED UP. Blood was pouring into the 1/4th of its jaw that was still attached, and as it hissed, it fucking GARGLED on its own blood, the layer of goo covering its wound literally bubbling as it tries to defend itself.
IT HAS NO FUCKING FACE AND IT IS STILL TELLING ME TO FUCK OFF
I fetched a shoe box from the house and had to fight to get this horrific, grotesque half-corpse of a lizard into the box. It was still fully mobile and put up a struggle.
I actually took this lizard to the vet to have him put down. My dog normally gets one or two of these lizards per year, and sometimes they're left paralyzed or just slowly dying, so I do the humane thing and finish them off swiftly and dispose of them. But I couldn't do that for this one. This motherfucker lost the entire front of his head, lived for at least half an hour after it (that's the amount of time it took for this story to unfold) and was actually fighting me off right until the end. This little fucker is a fucking champion. He deserved clinical care in his dying moments.
This was easily the most amazing/horrific thing I have ever seen. I had to tell you, /an/, because I feel that being revered as a fucking MACHINE is the only appropriate way for this fucker to be remembered.
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