File :-(, x, )
Chimp Vs. Human Deathmatch Anonymous
Setting: Octagon ring (UFC style)
Rules:
1.Fighters cannot use weapons, objects, or wear protection.
2.Fighters can use any part of their body and any method in battle (biting, eye-gouging, etc.)
3.Fighters will not be informed of the opposite opponent until 1-hour before the match.
4.Must fight to the death.

Contestants:
1. 250lbs Human (MMA Fighter of Chuck Lidel caliber aware that this is a fight to the death)
2. 140lbs Male Chimp (Fully enraged and aware that this is a fight to the death)

Who will win?
>> Anonymous
A fight with a chimp would warrant some very out-of-sorts methods. You can't fight it standing up; the thing won't trade blows with you or employ any predictable martial art.

In fact it would probably try to latch onto and bite you. I'd say the cleanest way to carry this out would be to get it into an arm-bar choke or strangle the fuck out of it.

Who can know what would become of this? Depends on how our fighter approaches the encounter. Once a man had his genitals and face chewed off by two chimps. Unfortunately for him he lived.
Vicious little fuckers, they can be.
>> Anonymous
Human
>> Anonymous
Human, since they know eye-gouging is allowed etc, we use our obviously superior intelligence to gain advantages like blinding the opponent then beating them. hmph

funny though, was watching spiketv the other day and saw an Orangutan out-of-control and it was tearin shit up lol
>> Anonymous
human, easily. even if you make the weight advantage less daunting
>> Anonymous
250 pound human is pretty big

if you were going for chuck liddel kind of guy, go fight a gorrila and get your arm ripped off.

female gorillas average about 220 and are about 4'7.

that would be a fight
>> Anonymous
>>207869
A fight? No, that would be rape. Given sheer bone density, Liddel could never in his life hope to knock something out like that.
Then there's the fact that a gorilla would be rather comfortable with that size, while 250lbs. is rather large for a human. It would probably leap onto him and beat the living shit out of him. And even if--by some miracle--he managed to keep it's arms at bay and keep it from stomping on him, it would still sink those huge canines into his head.
'Course, muscle isn't all about weight. There are different kinds of muscle, in the way that it's built and the way that it's accustomed to the activities it undertakes.
An enraged Silverback is said to be as strong as any 8 men.
One swat and chuck would likely be out. And with the sheer weight of those swings, it's unlikely that he's ever be able to block.
>> Anonymous
You guys are crazy. A full grown male chimp could probably beat two Chuck Lidels at once.
>> Anonymous
Yeah, a chimp of relative size to a normal person is FAR stronger than the human. They arent exactly rippling with muscle, but fuckers wouldnt have to use much effort to snap your arm.

Ive heard Orangutans can be about 4x as strong as your average man.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
lol, chimps
>> Anonymous
Ive seen a demonstration where some competitor from "worlds strongest man" tried tug of war with a adult female chimp. The guy was red in the face, leaning back, eyes bulging and the chimp was sat down holding the rope with ONE HAND and occasionally glancing over at the guy. Eventually she got bored, pulled him off his feet with a flick of the wrist and ambled off to do something else.
In this sort of fight the human would be torn to bits.
>> Anonymous
>>207880
It would be even more terrible if it were a gorilla.
>> Anonymous
I remember reading about a chimp that got loose at a chimp rescue facility and it attacked a guy and inflicted horrible injuries. ( Tore his face off, ripped his nuts off, bit his foot almost off etc.
>> Anonymous
IMO I believe a male chimp would kill the human without much effort trouble. Simply because chimps are 5-7 times stronger then the average human. You can't choke them due to body size and hair. A blow to the head is less likely to phase them, due to their dense bone structure. They can tear pieces and parts off of a human like tree limbs. They are able to bite thru anything on a human.

If a human would have "any" chance, it would seriously be like trying to kill a croc, go for the eyes.

>>207869
Not a chance. A silverback gorilla can twist a car into a figure 8. It would spagitify a human.
>> Anonymous
i see nobody here's read preacher...
>> Anonymous
Something tells that a sure fire way to lose to a chimp would be to try and grapple it UFC style. Still a human should be a lot more mobile, as long as he stayed outta reach and maybe used some powerful kicks he might be able to win, maybe.
>> Anonymous
how does a monkey know what fightans is?
>> Mr. Bubbles !!DLJ3bQ7yunJ
>>207886
Ripping off testicles is a disturbingly common attack among chimps. They will cut a hole in the bottom of your testicles and then pull the stuff in your balls right out of you. When I learned that chimpanzees would do that to one another, I swore to always be extra nice to them.
>> Anonymous
>>207828
>>140lbs Male Chimp (Fully enraged and aware that this is a fight to the death)

but thats the thing... chimps do not have the sense of awareness like a human would. it automatically would have its "to the death" game face on if it is outside its element and in unfamiliar surroundings. a human can rationalize where it is and what's going on, so we automatically lose the advantage of fear-induced strength and adrenaline from our surroundings. a human needs to be _told_ to fight all out, because it's not in our nature like it is theirs.

no matter what, strength will NEVER be on a humans' side in a fight like this. chuck liddel would be as effective as an 8 year old school boy. the best bet is somebody with high-level agility, long limbs, and a streamlined physique who can avoid physical contact and get the animal winded and spent of all energy before moving in. maybe somebody like a wide receiver in football?
>> Anonymous
>>208003

I have.
>> Anonymous
I bet some mad african warlord or arab sheik has tested this already but failed to put it in youtube.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Okay, so what if it was a modern human from the times firearms and modern society did not exict. Like...a caveman vs. a chimp?
>> Anonymous
What exactly makes them so powerful at a smaller weight? Thicker muscles that get more use than ours?
>> Anonymous
>>208162
Chimps, and all other primates have muscle fibres which are massively more efficient than humans. Each human muscle fibre produces about a fifth of the pulling force of a chimp fibre.
I don't think anybody's 100% sure why this is so, but it seems to be something do with a human gene for myocin, the protein from which muscle fibres are made. The human version of this gene is mutated from the version the other primates carry.
>> Anonymous
The Chimp wins, without any real fight. These fuckers are vicious.
>> ArcticBaiter !Hg3c8nDOFk
Thank nature for your noggin'.
>> Anonymous
>>208162
>>208174

Also, their muscles are not anchored to the bone so close to the joint.
>> Anonymous
chimp