File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Would it be possible for an unarmed human being to defeat a gorilla with his bare hands?
>> Anonymous
Oh god I remember this from SomethingAwful. No, it's not possible. It will not happen. I don't care if you're a prize winning boxer or Bruce Lee. You're not taking down a gorilla unarmed. They have the strength of ten full grown men, they have claws, they have huge teeth and their jaw muscles wrap around their ENTIRE head! They are fast, they are intelligent, they are agile and they could break your body with a single slam of their fist. A gorilla would win.
>> Anonymous
No.
>> Anonymous
If it was a quadrapelagic gorilla, then yes. Or maybe a really young baby gorilla.
>> Anonymous
>>189835
I call bullshit. Gorillas have nails like humans, not claws.

The rest is true, though...
>> Anonymous
...Do you have ANY idea how strong a gorilla is? Seriously, a CHIMP can pull the arm off of a full grown man, now imagine a fucking gorilla.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
You gonna get raped
>> Anonymous
I'm pretty sure someone with a lot of martial arts training would at least have a chance. It's not THAT different from fighting a human.
>> Anonymous
Give the human a small knife and he has a chance, otherwise it'd be like Mike Tyson boxing a toddler.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>189833
No.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Bears vs Gorillas!
>> Anonymous
>>189850
Fuck, that's hard... Oh man! I think I'll lean towards bear just because of its incredible swiping power.
>> Anonymous
No fucking chance at all. Gorrillas are awesomely powerful.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
A human would have a hell of a time fighting a chimp, but a gorilla? Suicide. It just won't fucking happen. The gorilla will win and he'll win quickly.
>> Anonymous
Jesus... Think people. Does the gorilla have eyes? Yes. Stab it in the eyes with your fingers! Bam, you've won.
>> Anonymous
>>189842
tenderly givin the look in its eyes

>>189850
that would be fn sweet
>> Anonymous
>>189855
And tell me, how are you going to manage that? You think the gorilla will just sit there and let you poke it in the eyes? It's arms are longer than yours. Not to mention you're going to die in a single blow.
>> Anonymous
what about a nigger vs. a gorilla?

that should be a closer match
>> Anonymous
>>189855
If you stab it in the eye, he will just be angrier and you will be just cut to more pieces.

Good thing they are jeantle by nature.
>> Anonymous
You fucks, you won't be able to beat a Gorilla when he's pissed off.

>>189844Absolute no. I don't know if you're being sarcastic but martial arts isn't the kind of sport that will save you.
>> Anonymous
>>189859
While a white person or a wigger would die instantly (wiggers more instantly), the Nigger would have a moment to swear loudly (like all niggers do) before dying.
>> Anonymous
>>189860
>jeantle
spectacular
>> Anonymous
>>189868
jeans + gentle = jeantle.

In other words, a gorilla is a gentle pair of jeans.
>> Anonymous
>>189865
Racism is so funny. Congratulations. Now go away.
>> Anonymous
>>189875
what are you some kind of jew
>> Anonymous
>>189855Jesus... Think people. Does the gorilla have eyes? Yes. Stab it in the eyes with your fingers! Bam, you've won.

Take a look at the picture in this post:>>189854

You see how close those eyes are to his giant, bone-crunching teeth? Yeah. Good luck with the eye gouge.
>> Anonymous
you might have a chance if if you sneak up behind it and somehow manage to shove your cock through its ear, but i doubt thats very likely.
>> Anonymous
>>189868
jeantle person here. I loled.

>>189887
Here too.
>> Anonymous
I'm reminded of that video where the tree-hugging dumb-ass was trying to have a personal moment with a wild chimp, when that chimp's man came running up and grabbed the dumb-fuck by the hand and proceeded to drag him around the shoreline they were at. The chimp crushed the guy's hand like a spastic 2 year old crushes a bag of smarties, and broke his arm, too. So I imagine a gorilla would fuck up a human pretty badly.
>> Anonymous
Fuck Gorillas are OP, nerf them I say.
>> Anonymous
>>189833
No, but who would go to a gorilla fight unarmed?
>> Anonymous
>>189906
Gorillas can even beat an armed human. There's at least one account of a silverback biting the arm of a guy armed with a rifle. (Of course being a gorilla, he ran away right after that, but the guy could no longer shoot him.)
>> Anonymous
>>189844
nope.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_Z_ZnFDQg4&NR=1
>> Anonymous
>>189887

I lol'd.
>> Anonymous
The average Joe would never last a chance with a gorilla, but there are always a few people who could out wit one, or even over power them. But no, they're too powerful.
>> Anonymous
Seriously if I ever had to fight a gorilla I would just kick him in his nuts as hard as I could. Hopefully that hurts them, then I'd run like hell
>> Anonymous
>>189993
Aim well, They are as small as raisins.
>> Anonymous
>>189998
Jesus Christ, gorillas are the perfect fighter.
>> Anonymous
>>189984


NO


HUMAN BEING


COULD OVER POWER


A GORILLA


>> Anonymous
You might have a chance if you got the drop on it somehow...

Are humans faster runners than gorillas?
>> Anonymous
>>190255
No. No where fucking close.
>> Anonymous
more of the karate chimp:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra0OKiZZAek&feature=related
>> Anonymous
Gorillas are natural pacifists and will attempt to negotiate before resorting to maiming and killing.


Of course, the gorilla's method of negotiation involves shoulder tackles, warning bites, and a lot of angry chest-beating.
>> Anonymous
Hippo vs Gorilla?
>> Anonymous
The Gorillas natural armor and strength is so powerfull and so thick, a unarmed person in melee combat would be smashed in one strike, now if you were able to drop a bolder on it thats an other story, humans kill with tools, i think baiting it with some food that is poisoned would be the best idea , if it comes down to a race war humans have it won...! Anon RULES THE WORLD TILL 2012!
>> Anonymous
>>190319
does the battle take place on land or in water?
>> Anonymous
How about five unarmed humans versus one gorilla?
>> Anonymous
meh, the humans still dont have a chance, how about battle takes place on a lava flow, 5humans with crude weapons vs Gorilla partial drunk on ale
>> Anonymous
How to milk free stuff from the internet, like gift cards, ipods, etc:

1- Install Firefox autoreloader: http://ihmp.net/@/xy

2- Go to this site: http://ihmp.net/@/op and sign up (free).

3- Go to the search page at that site and input any search. (internet hate machine, etc.)

4- Set Firefox to reload the page every couple seconds(right click any webpage then find ReloadEvery - there's an enable function)

5- ???

6- Profit! I won a $5 Amazon card in the first fifteen minutes. It might take you a little longer, but if you set it up every day, you get tons of free shit. (Make sure to check your "My Prizes" page periodically)
>> Anonymous
GORILLA VS MOOT
>> Anonymous
>>190800

Gorilla raep moot.
>> Anonymous
>>190876

Rule 34 plz.

Also , only a retard would go near a gorilla. I mean the shit you see on tv, the people are almost never anywhere near the animals."We don't want to disturb their natural life..." and get torn limb from limb.

Let us put it this way. The energy the gorilla uses up the get pipe bending strenght, is used by humans to grow a brain, most of the time. It would be fun to be a gorilla though. RIP AND TEAR!
>> Anonymous
If the unarmed human was thirty feet tall and had fists made of pure steel...then maybe.

In any other circumstance, absolutely not.
>> Anonymous
not even twenty or 50 unarmend humans have any chance against a singel gorilla in mele battle we simple dont have the ability to inflict any dmg on them while they can rip us apart with not much effort
they are natures hulks
>> Anonymous
>>190920
Now, if you dropped 50 unarmed humans on a sleeping silverback from a reasonable height and all at a time...
>> Anonymous
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7djZzC6FKhw
>> Anonymous
>>190920
Now you're being stupid 50 humans could do it. 50 small children could take down Bruce Lee. 50 is a lot of people. They could win.
>> Anonymous
>>190966
You must be new here.
>> Anonymous
>>190966
>>50 children
Eh, Bruce Lee was just about the fittest person ever lived. He could send adults flying with a 1-inch punch.
Speaking of which, I guess Bruce would've had a chance against a gorilla.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>190984
>> Anonymous
>>190984
>Speaking of which, I guess Bruce would've had a chance against a gorilla.

Just as long as it didn't hit him.

Or bite him.

Or crush him with a mighty gorilla hand.

Or otherwise prove that the tougher body, faster reflexes, longer arms and stronger muscles belong to the gorilla.
>> Anonymous
>>190990
You don't know shit about Bruce Lee.
A gorilla IS stronger and tougher, but that doesn't stop Lee from being built like a goddamn terminator AND his movement is measured in tenths of seconds. He could kick the skull open before the fucker knows what hit him.
>> Anonymous
>>190997
Not enough face palm in the fucking world. Just leave. Get out. Seriously.
>> Anonymous
>>190966
Bruce Lee would smash 50 kids and not break a sweat.

A gorilla would smash Bruce Lee and not break a sweat. Capiche?
>> Anonymous
Bruce Lee would go to throw a kick only to have the gorilla jump ontop of him, smashing his fists onto his face and chest over and over again while biting ravenously at his throat and shoulders. The end.
>> Anonymous
>>191036
That was the greatest mental image ever. Thank you.
>> Anonymous
Female gorillas knock around a larger silverback gorilla:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ED1CZxLR38E

As you can see from this video, gorillas fight by charging at you and knocking you down, then possibly mauling you with their teeth. Considering how fast and heavy they are (over 400 lbs), I don't think it's possible for a human to stay on his feet after the initial charge. This makes it impossible for Bruce Lee to stay on his feet and use his kung-fu effectively.
>> Anonymous
NIGGERS
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
??
>> Anonymous
>>191062
Real?
>> Anonymous
>>191062
Wow... that looks more like a crap than a person.
>> Anonymous
Maybe if you somehow lodge your arm in its throat and hope it chokes. You will lose an arm when it bites, but you have a chance :p.
>> Anonymous
Nu~uh, Kung Fu dude would kick the shit outta a gorilla and leave it knocked out with no eyes!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=787srFqSpQA&feature=related

See?
>> Anonymous
The strongest man wouldn't stand a chance, even if he was pumped full of drugs for it. The gorilla could tear your arms off and beat you with the wet end if you tried to punch it.
>> Anonymous
>>189968
>>190257

DON'T TEACH CHIMPS AND GORILLAS MARTIAL ARTS YOU FOOLS! They've already got the advantage of strength over us. Goddamnit.
>> Anonymous
All right, how about how many chimps would you need to take on a gorilla? Maybe three or four?

What about an orangutan? The males look pretty big too.

We need to arrange some sort of test and scientific testing of these battles.
>> Anonymous
>a silverback of over 183 cm (6 ft) and 225 kg (500 lb) has been recorded in the wild

OH SHIT. 6ft and 500lb? Not even if there were ten Bruce Lees.
>> Anonymous
>>191087
Orangutans never struck me as being very fast or agile, or anything. And they seem more lanky, as opposed to a Gorilla, which has goddamn cannon arms. And can run fast.
I'd still say Gorilla.
And chimps are pretty small in comparison. I think the Gorilla would just snap their backs one by one at every chance.
>> Anonymous
martial arts doesn't work well when you're using it against something that has arms as long as a gorilla. it also doesnt work well after the gorilla rips your arms and legs off.
>> Anonymous
>>191100

Aren't chimps way stronger than people though? They're over 200lb and have big teeth too. You've got to consider they aren't as weak as people. Maybe in a group the chimps have enough strength to inflict damage?
>> Anonymous
>>189833
Wow, people actually get worked up about something as retarded as this.

Maybe a human being could beat a gorilla, but he would probably have to be like that mutant german baby that has double-muscle, have trained to fight and kill since from a very young age, be bat-shit insane and pumped full of steroids and combat drugs.

It would be cool to see in a 'what-if' kinda way, but really, it's just retarded.
>> Anonymous
A chimp has the strength of three men.
>> Anonymous
moar like Would it be possible for an unarmed human being to defeat a nigger with his bare hands?
>> Anonymous
Maybe if you were in a jungle you could strangle it with vines. Or impale it with a small tree. Or poison it.
>> Anonymous
I'm a battle hardened warrior with years of experience in Street Fighter and Warcraft. I think I can take a gorilla. Here's what I would do:

Assuming the fight starts with me and the gorilla in close proximity, I'd immediately feign submission by keeping my body low to the ground and scurrying out of the gorilla's territory. This allows me to abuse the gorilla's natural behavior and escape with my life. I'd wait for nightfall, then circle back and start digging a hole near the gorilla's territory. Once the pitfall trap is complete, I'd let the gorillas know I'm nearby and wait for the silverback to charge me and fall into the hole. Then I drop rocks onto the gorilla's helpless head until it dies.

Foolproof plan!
>> Anonymous
>>191220
today's best post
>> Anonymous
>>191220
brains think!
>> Anonymous
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFMpWm6ECgQ

Anyway, this debate is useless cause we are talking barehanded human. We are so weak because we evolved a brain that allows us to make weapons / set traps and work in teams. At least give the human some time to create a spear / bow or something to make it more fair (I suppose a well trained archer / spear man could get lucky and kill the gorilla before it reaches them).
>> Anonymous
>>191235
that video's funny since the orang isn't even really trying that hard.
>> Anonymous
Could Mike Tyson beat a gorilla? He's certainly crazy enough.

>>"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."
>> Anonymous
>>190997
>A gorilla IS stronger and tougher, but that doesn't stop Lee from being built like a goddamn terminator
>A gorilla IS stronger and tougher, but that doesn't stop Lee
>A gorilla IS stronger and tougher

Capiche?

>>191261
I would love to see that. I think Tyson's last words would be funny.
>> Anonymous
>>190997
I thought you might have a point about Bruce Lee being faster, so I checked it out. But I found this vid of a gorilla scaring the crap outta some kids:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8afAqnar3qw&feature=related

!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
OH SHI.... IT'S A GORILLA!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
GET DOWN!
>> Anonymous
Chimps have the strength of at least three men, even Bonobos (pygmy chimps) have been seen dragging fairly sized trees with ease. Ourangutans have the strength of about five men since they are almost arborial and climb trees all day many males have been seen knocking down small trees. Gorrillas have the strength of ten men, basically we're practically the only member of the ape family that got screwed in the strength department besides Gibbons, though we are more intelligent.
>> Anonymous
>>191293
>>191294

Sauce
>> Anonymous
YOU FUCKING FAGGOT MOOT

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY /b/?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
gb2 cock smoking you sack of shitting dick-nippled cuntrags, and GTFO.

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot believe this shit!

And you too p4ch3co, for selling 7chan to him! Like the traitor Judas, you WILL recieve your divine retribution, you, moot and all of the faggots infesting this hallowed ground... the Armies of Anonymous will march again, and this time we will not stop until the demon and the traitor lie dead at our feet!

Now, as 7chan, our Shelter, our Rock, our Valhalla is tainted and infested with the faggotry of 4chan, we stand in somber respect, for the death of our home.

Hail to 7chan, our crumbling bastion against the tide of AIDS and fail. Though the fires of cancer now infect and ravage your once glorious walls, the fires of hate and vengeance will never be extinguished! We the last surviving defenders of freedom, hope, and lulz will continue to fight, to resist, to deny you, Moot, the Faggot King, the Realm of Faggotry you want. Anonymous cannot be defeated, cannot tire, cannot break. We have an unbreakable goal to fight for. Farewell, 7chan, our glorious Pillar, our great monolith. As the faggots desecrate your sanctity and trod over your holy ground, we, Anonymous, though outnumbered and cast into the fires of Faggotry, will not give up. We will not allow this desecration of your Sacntity to go unpunished. Moot tand the Arch-Heretic will pay in foul blood for every inch of ground we have so grudgingly given.

Anonymous does not forgive!

Anonymous does not forget!

7chan will be avenged.
>> Anonymous
>>191316

Google "Bokito". He's the reason why you shouldn't taunt gorillas at the zoo. One of those stereotypical crazy hippie ladies (I CAN COMMUNE WITH ANIMALS!) visited him everyday and pestered him by tapping on the glass and smiling (gorillas interpret smiles as aggressive gestures because teeth are exposed).

Bokito finally had enough of this crap and escaped his enclosure. He tracked down that old hippie lady at the zoo and beat her down.
>> Anonymous
Sure an unarmed human can beat a gorilla with his bare hands... AT CHESS!
>> Anonymous
>>191322
bit her like 200 times yet still didnt manage to kill...
>> Anonymous
>>191330
Not really.
You take his pawn. He takes your king and smashes it through your skull.
>> Anonymous
>>191333

He wasn't trying to kill that woman. He wanted to show her who's the man. In the wild, a male gorilla will knock down another gorilla and give it a warning bite to exert his dominance. Unfortunately, humans aren't built as sturdy as gorillas, so that woman got fucked up. Notice that he didn't attack the other humans who were cowering in fear and showing submissive body language.