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Anonymous File :-(, x)
Ok, this shit has gone just about far enough. You do one photo shoot with some frozen apples and all of the sudden everyone forgets youre the flesh-hungry king of the Arctic. Suddenly, youre the approachable guy on the block. Now I know how 50 Cent felt after he worked that bar mitzvah.
Do me a favor, the next time you see this photo with me and the frozen apples and start feeling all warm and fuzzy about me and my kids, flip on over to the National Geographic channel. See that giant, savage mammal tearing apart what appears to be a slimy purple grape? That grape is a baby seal, and that big white bear is me. Hi, nice to meet you, Im a polar bear. I do not fuck around.
A herd of penguins? You humans see a bunch of bundles of cuteness. I see a buffet.
I dont even like the taste of human flesh, its gamey and decidedly tough, but Im damn near ready to start eating every last motherfucker who is dumb enough to approach me. Or at least giving them a good mauling.
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