here's the situation, /an/. a FUCKING HUGE SPIDER is on my bed, where i was about to go to sleep. the weapons i have at disposal are a full can of hair spray and a long metal pole. what do i do.pic related, i made this face.
Spiders are afraid of human faces. Rub your face all over the spider and it will run away to never bother you again.
I AM FUCKING FREAKING OUT HERE I SWEAR TO GOD IT IS ON MY FUCKING PILLOW MY HANDS ARE SHAKING
>>240558Take a deep breath. There, does that feel good? Good.Okay, now count to 3, and rub your face all over that spider! Go!
>>240560I DONT THINK THAT WILL WORKITS ALMOST AS BIG AS MY FACEAND I DONT HAVE A FREAKISHLY TINY FACE OR ANYTHING!
>>240556I think you will have better luck with the metal pole.
>>240562it's long though, and unstable!and OH MY GOD IT'S SO FUCKING FAST IT JUST RAN ONTO ANOTHER PILLOW HOYL SHIT
Take the hair spray, stick in next to crotch, then jump in a fire.
This is a bad troll. It's hardly that poisonous, so just take a towel, wrap it into it and throw it outside.I'm going to be mad if you maul an innocent spider. :(
okay, i sprayed him with about half the can of hairspray and now my room smells awful but i think i have immobilized the enemy for long enough to get a picture....he's bigger than he looks and OH GOD HE'S STILL MOVING WHAT DO I DO
THE DEED HAS BEEN DONE.
TITS OR GTFO
>>240573i don't think spiders have tits, as they are not mammals.as far as i know.
nice toilet paper you got there. enjoy your hand
>>240556So you have a House Spider huh?
>>240577almost ironically, i keep a roll of toilet paper in my room to pick up the occasional bug with to release outside. i tore off a piece when i saw the spider, but then arachnophobia took over and i was all like 'oh fuck this'
>>240578I personally prefer House Centipedes...
Thats a pretty weak spider OP. An hero probably would have been a more productive use of your time.
>>240616Seconded.I bet this small thing could't even bite through your skin.Grow some balls plz....mhh wait, don't grow them, so your genes will never be spread amongst humanity.
>>240558MY HEART IS BEATING, MY HEART IS BEATINGMY HANDS ARE SHAKING, MY HANDS ARE SHAKINGBUT I'M STILL SHOOTING, AND I'M STILL GETTING THE HEADSHOTS LIKE BOOM HEADSHOT, BOOM HEADSHOT, BOOOOM HEADSHOT
>>240611>>240578Oh, you guys! :3
where do you live? how is that a "huge" spider?
>>240786it shriveled up when i sprayed it.and it was 2:30 am for gods sake