File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Dear /an/

I have a cute female cat which I love dearly, whenever I'm down, she always jumps on my lap and rubs her head on me then purrs, she looks at me with those beautiful big eyes and I always feel happy to be by her side. She follows me everywhere in the house. She even talks to me with her meows. I turned on the lights in the kitchen, so she would be able to eat her food without getting scared. Even when I'm sleeping she always rests near my side. It almost feels like a woman sleeping with you. Cuddling almost....I sometimes pretend that she would transform into a catgirl at nights and go outside to act human by partying and eating at restaurants, then when she gets home, she would sleep in my covers and hug me tight then when morning hits, she would become a normal cat again. I love my cat so much /an/...So I wanted to ask you something guys...How do I fuck my cat?
>> Anonymous
>>144573
>>I have a cute female cat which I love dearly...

That line alerted me to the true nature of this post.

As for how you do it, just stick your wee-wee in her vagoo. If she yowls or tries to scratch/bite you, it means she likes it.
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
If you need me I'll be in my lab.
>> Anonymous
>>144576

we'll I decrawl her already and cleaned her pooper a bit, I thought about sticking my dick inside her anus, but her pussy might be too small but my cock....
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>144579
Just in case that isn't a joke:
Please don't try to fuck your cat. She doesn't love you. If you must fuck something, fuck your couch like a normal retard.
>> Anonymous
>>144579

Cocksize shouldn't be a problem, I'm guessing your small wang is a big reason why you're choosing to fuck a cat in the first place
>> Anonymous
>>144581

It isn't a joke. I love her dearly. And we're going to be together.
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>144585
... Is her name Clarice?
>> Anonymous
>>144586

No it's Emily.
>> Anonymous
A cat is fine too
>> Anonymous
>>144581

I can't find human women and Emily has always gave me great joy and I want to make love to her deeply. I want to lose my virginity to her.
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>144589
Have you considered suicide? You really should.
http://jackinworld.com/ should help get rid of those urges if you can't find some .45 caliber aspirin.
>> Anonymous
Fuck yo couch nigga!
>> Anonymous
>>144590

No I will fuck Emily and even have her became my wife
>> Emily
halp he is crazy
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>144593
Clearly she doesn't love you. Go wank and you'll feel better, trust me.
>> Anonymous
>>144593

Why? Because I want to marry my cat? Emily is my damn life, she's been with me for 2 years now and she never leaves me, I just wanna make love to her, is that so wrong to ask?
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>144595
Er, pretty much, yes.
>> Anonymous
what is this
>> Anonymous
>>144594

I don't wanna wank, I want my penis inside my precious emily ;-;
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>144598
Well if you do attempt to fuck her, she will hate you and you will hurt her. She might even bite your penis off. Is that really worth the risk? Losing the one you claim to love for a few moments of pleasure? Furfaggots always seem to miss that important lesson.
>> Anonymous
Ah, you gotta love trolls.

Anyway, I suggest the following: Smear your cock with wet cat food and let her go to town on it!
>> Anonymous
>>144598
lulz, have fun explaining to the vet why your precious cat is suffering from massive internal bleeding requiring surgery with money you can't afford to pay. then watch your cat die slowly as the vet reports you for animal cruelty :D

we'll see you in /n/ in a few
>> Anonymous
this is like some kind of bizarre troll feedback loop
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>144600
Sweet, then he can just drive up to the local hospital and ask for the "Ward for people who have had their penises chewed on by cats"
>> Anonymous
ITT: Darwinism
>> Anonymous Alt783 Unvrs5466 !t.Kvo5rgtQ
Why a cat? Get some sex toys and lube from a botique... If you luck there will be a rare nymph there to bribe to stay over night with...
>> Anonymous
use copious amounts of duct tape to strap a fleshlight to your cat, then pound away.
>> Anonymous
>>144578
>>144593

lol'd at these

dear troll:
enjoy your short-lived romance
just use a q-tip ok~!
>> Anonymous
You're not going to be able to fit your dick in your cat, unless it's the size of a lion. :o

However, you can use your cat to masturbate your erect penis. :)

Just get yourself on the edge while petting the cats belly...until it's nearly passed out from relaxation. Then put your penis between its legs and slow hump your dick against it's stomach fur while keeping its claws distracted with your hands petting its head.

PROFIT!
>> Anonymous
>>144896
cats usually don't like being touched on the stomach. out of all the cats i've ever owned, they would straight up try and bite me if i petted their stomach for more than a few seconds.
also.

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>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>144898
Hint: that's the idea. Anon was trying to get Anon's penis shredded.
>> Anonymous
1. Insert dick into cats mouth
2. Clamp its mouth shut
3. Pull out
4. Apply vinegar
5. ???
6. PROFIT!
>> Anonymous
If you want an animal to fuck, may I suggest a large dog or a horse?
>> Anonymous
pics, didn't happen