File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Serious question here. My roommate has a ferret that was left behind by his ex-girlfriend. For about a month now she has had a tumor and it keeps getting worse. I keep bugging my roommate, but he is a pussy and is not going to do anything about it. I don't want her to suffer any more, so I was thinking of taking care of it myself. I got no money to have a vet do it, and live in the city, so can't shoot it (don't have a gun anyway). I want to find something clean and painless, but the best thing I can think of is to put it in a small airtight container.

I am sorry, I know this probably pisses off a lot of ferret lovers, and I definitely wont do it if you think it is a cruel way to die. I personally see passing out as favorable to the constant pain of a tumor.
>> Anonymous
Break it's neck.. OR find someone who has a large snake and feed it to the snake, or if all else fails set it free in a park and someone else will find it, bring it to an animal shelter and they can deal with it, or you can just drop it off at an animal shelter either during the day with a lie, or at the dead of night
>> Anonymous
Give it to an animal shelter
>> Anonymous
>>164962

I suggested those last two to my roomie before, but in this state ferrets have to be registered, so they can track it back to my roommate.

I am not sure if I have the heart to snap its neck or anything like that.
>> Anonymous
Best for small animals=
the freezer, and walk away for the rest of the afternoon. I know how it sounds, but believe me, cold is the easiest, most humane way to go short of a shot. He'll get really sleepy and never wake up.
>> Anonymous
nope freezer doesnt work, tried to do that to a hamster * it was snake food and we didnt want to whack its head on the side walk* it was in there for like 2 hours and it was fine, pooped all over the freezer tried to drown it to that didnt work either, ended up putting it in a back and whacking it on the side of the house... that might work for you, just break its neck by whacking it, OR you can put it into a back pack and drop it into the ocean, or lake depends on which you have
>> Anonymous
>>164970

I don't really see any of those methods being better than small air tight container. I could probably even get her in there while she is sleeping and might never wake up at all. Takes a direct meteor hit to wake her.
>> Anonymous
>>164964

Don't know if a shelter would take a sick animal, and can't drop her at one anonymously for the same registration issue. I called ferret rescue, they wouldn't take her. I will call around tho. Pretty sure I am going to have to do it myself it it gets done.
>> Anonymous
Freezer works fine. You just need to leave it in there longer than 2 hours! If a freezer can freeze meat, it can certainly freeze a hamster or ferret.


Anyway, there are various options available to you:

-drown it. It's fairly quick but an unpleasant death.

-suffocate it. This will be painful if you put it in a plastic box. On the other hand, if you put it in a box with some dry ice, it will be much faster.

-Try to feed it a cigarette or some chewing tobacco. Nicotine is a strong poison, and it's not an unpleasant way to go.

-Mechanical: chopping it's head off will make a mess but it is quick. Even better would be to crush it's brain, particularly the brain stem. If you do this fast it will be instant and painless. Put ferret in a plastic bag, preferably a thick one. Put that in an old pillowcase, roll up. Smash head with blunt object. If you can get over the "gross" factor, this would be painless for the ferret.
>> Anonymous
>>164970

How the heck did you mangage to screw up that?

Hamster in freezer: LEAVE IT THERE. Still alive after two hours? Big suprise. LEAVE IT THERE. It's just like making ice from water, it takes time to freeze.

Ditto for the drowning. Hamster stays on the surface? Hold it down!

I'm suprised you can figure out how to tie your shoes...
>> Anonymous
>>164977

The dry ice idea sounds good. She would be breathing carbon dioxide and not be struggling for breath, so she would just pass out. Thanks.
>> Anonymous
Carbonmonoxide.
Build an airtight box with a hose connected to your cars exhaust.
Turn on car and gas your ferret.
Lulz
>> Anonymous
Just surrender you're roommate's ferret.
Seriously.
I surrendered a ferret that someone dumped on me and it didn't cost me a lot.
>> Anonymous
Your vets must charge a lot to put an animal down. It used to be $30 around here a few years ago. Don't know about now.
>> Anonymous
Get up early tomorrow, put it in a box and leave it on the doorstep of a vet's office a halfhour before they open.
>> Anonymous
chop its head off with a large knife. quick, painless, and little mess.
>> Anonymous
>>165013
Have you any idea what kind of bloody mess that would cause, severing all the arteries of the neck?!
>> Anonymous
>>165011
i 2nd this idea
>> Anonymous
Suffocating is a horrible way to die! And don't fucking freeze it, that's slower and even worse.

Put the poor little guy in a box and leave him on a vet doorstep two hours before it opens.
>> Anonymous
>>165011
Thirded. It'll piss off the vet, but they'll have to do something about it then.
>> Anonymous
>>165016

Not as much as you'd think. A ferret doesn't have much blood in it. Regardless, it is very quick and relatively painless. The only way you will do better is to smash it's head.

>>165048

Suffocating is not bad. It is actually euphoric. Ever heard of autoerotic asphyxiation? The bad part about asphixiation is the psycological aspect, and Ferrets don't have anywhere near the brain required to process that. It may be traumatic to you, but don't project that onto the ferret. Also keep in mind that it is very common for vets to put animals to sleep using an overdose of a muscle relaxant or a paralytic. This also causes death by asphyxiation becasue the animal can't breathe.


You guys can discuss leaving the ferret on a Vet's doorstep all you want, but understand:

1) It's probably illegal (though I don't know where OP lives)

2) All you're doing is ditching the responsibility. Don't dump this problem on someone else. Just take care of it. Either come up with the money to have the ferret put down, or if you can't do that just do it yourself.
>> AnonymouS
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
ITT: people who think the "humane" in "humane killing" applies to themselves, not the animal.
>> Anonymous
dude, why aren't you asking how to kill the roomate instead
>> Anonymous
>>165136
Agreed.
>> Anonymous
Ferret shelter is preferred. Most reputable ferret shelters will still take your sick little carpetshark, and if not try to treat her will at least give her a nice place to live out her final days until the big sleep. Doing it yourself is fine (if you can live with it forever), but not the way I'd do it.
>> AnonymouS
>>165124
Seriously. Drug it, and then suffocate/smash it.

This is the correct answer.
>> Anonymous
op is a troll: people who aren't severely retarded would know that "tumor" is easily treatable with surgery
>> Anonymous
>>165187

Let me guess, you saw something on TV where they operated on someone and removed a tumor.

Well, FYI: SOME tumors are removable with surgery. However, many tumors are inoperable, if they have metasticized or if they are located somewhere that makes accessing the tumor impossible.

There's also the issue of cost and the risk of the ferret surviving the surgery even it is is "simple". Even if the "tumor" is in an operable location and it is benign, you're still looking at an expensive procedure with a fairly poor survival risk: anesthesia on an animal the size of a ferret is risky in and out of itself!
>> Anonymous
>>165192
ferrets get tumors more often than you think. they are very prone to lymphoma. if op and his roommate didn't have the money to meet any expenses related to the ferret they should have given it to a shelter long long time ago.
>> Taboo Fetish !mEXZ86LiuA
>>165194
I had a ferret with a tumor, she was succesfully operated on and came through the surgery fine.
However, it sounds like the OP can't afford surgery, if he can't even afford to have it put to sleep. I would reccoemmend finding a ferret shelter, look in your local Yellow Pages. If not a shelter, then try a local pet store, who may take it.
>> Anonymous
Am I the only one who thought OP was talking about his friend's ex-girlfriend?
>> Anonymous
OP here. Checked up on everyone's thoughts, and I still think I will go with the dry ice thing. I can actually guess from experience that it shouldn't be bad. I used to have a job unpacking large shipping boxes of ice cream packed with dry ice and would often get light headed and nearly pass out from lack of oxygen. Also knew a guy that died cleaning a large chemical tank. Non-toxic fumes pushed the oxygen out and he just collapsed. Never saw it coming. Guessing it would be like that.
>> Anonymous
>>164967
How I kill my mice for my snakes, and I agree. Most humane. I'm not sure how long it'd take for the ferret; we leave the mice in overnight.

However, a ferret's a buttload bigger than four mice, and proportionately stronger, I'm not sure you want to have to deal with that scrabbling noise of it trying to get out. Personally, that'd break my heart. Luckily, we have a chest freezer in our basement, and get the mice in small cardboard boxes.

I would say release it in the wild, it may die painfully, but YOU don't have to deal with it, and it has a whack at survival. Guiltless.
>> Anonymous
>>165244
you honestly dont know anyone with a bit of cash to take it to the vet in exchange for a blowjob or something?
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>165244
http://www.alysion.org/euthanasia/
Details small animal euthanasia at home. I haet ferrets, but I don't really want to see one suffering.
>> AnonyVet
Animal shelters often euthanize for free as a means for animals who cannot receive the care they so rightfully deserve (due to owner incompetence) to escape the pain of a long and drawn out death. The ways /an/ has suggested will often be considered animal cruelty by the masses regardless of your own beliefs.
>> Anonymous
>>165104

If I were in that ferret's position, I think that I would rather have my owner "ditch responsibility" by dropping me off discreetly on the veterinarian's doorstep (where I would be painlessly euthanized) rather than be executed by a home "do-it-yourself" method. When the welfare of another living creature is at stake, a misplaced sense of duty should not be ranked higher than the painless elimination of suffering. Stop trying to project your irrational black and white morality onto someone else, because it's bullshit.
>> Anonymous
>>165277
Hear hear. Take it to fucking vet. Those people become vets because they care about animals. They'll understand. They wont let the ferret die a painful death.
>> Anonymous
>>165279

The ferret doesn't care who kills it. The only thing that affects the ferret is if it dies a quick death or a painful drawn-out death. You don't need a Vet to put down a small animal. Vets have many skills that we mere mortals don't have. But euthanizing a small animal doesn't require anything special. As was discussed before, a the most common vet technique for euthanasia of a small animal is the administration of a muscle relaxant or a paralytic. Both of them stop the muscles from moving. The result is that the animal suffocates because its diaphragm stops moving and thus it can't breathe. From the ferret's perspective, this is EXACTLY THE SAME as suffocating it in a plastic bag.

The dry ice procedure or the alternate CO2 method described in the web page linked above is used in many labs that euthanize rodents (lab rats, and so on) and in vet offices. You don't need a vet do do this. You can do it at home. It's easy. You don't need a vet for this any more than you need a professional mechanic to start your car.

Crushing the ferret's head sounds gross, but it is THE FASTEST and most painless way to kill a vertebrate animal. Crushing the brain takes less than a second. All function stops. It is an instant, painless, death--all you have to do is get over the "eew gross" part.
>> Anonymous
what is wrong with you guyz how can you be talking about how to kill a ferret!... I mean I know he is sick and he is suffering, and I don't really like ferrets but imagine the poor thing...I just cant, I wouldn't take hes life away, I don't have the right to do that, don't be a lazy fuck and if you want to do the right thing, get the money, I don't know how maybe you work I suppose you do because you live with your roomate, you can save some money and then take it to the vet. you cheap bastard you want the simple and cheap solution.
and excuse my engrish
>> Anonymous
>>165310

Actually, most veterinarians use an overdose of the same anesthetics used in surgical procedures, so the animal is actually mentally unconscious. It is not just a "muscle relaxant."
>> Anonymous
Dry ice method is the most humane. The ferret will fall asleep and then its heart will stop in its sleep.

Here's how you do it:

-put the ferret in some sort of small cage so it cannot touch the dry ice (like, perhaps one of those plastic small animal containers with vents on the top)

- put dry ice into a cooler, again, making sure the ferret cannot touch it or it'll burn itself

- put the ferret cage in the cooler with dry ice

the ferret will pass away in the most peaceful way possible if done right.
>> Anonymous
NOOOO DONT DO IT!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYZ!!!!!!!
put it in the fridge
drown it in the water
break his neck
WTF!!!! this is sick
<<<<<------ /b/ is that way
>> Anonymous
OP here.

Nevermind.

I sat on it.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
HEAVENZ!!!
>> Anonymous
>>165310

Sorry, wrong. Surgical anesthetics are volatile liqids or gases (Halothane, Desflurane, etc.) In concentrations high enough to cause death, these chemicals produce a lot of irritation and burning to the airway. While that could be used to kill an animal, it it would be a very bad way to go. Imagine breathing acid fumes--not pleasant at all.

Not only that, but these agents require a lot of equipment to be set up to administer them, and they are expensive. These are all reasons why this method is rarely used--it's costly, it's a lot of work, and it is not a quick or painless death.
>> Anonymous
>>165342
Most veterinarians use euthanasol/euthasol, which is a combination of phenobarbital sodium and complementary agents such as phenytoin. Diluted, it is used an anesthetic in large animals, since it causes the patient to be rendered unconscious long before it causes respiratory failure and cardiac arrest. In fact, it is often used in HUMAN physician-assisted suicides (both illegally and where legal).

Gases such as halothane are not often used singly as a means of euthanasia, but can be with smaller animals such as rodents and birds. There are no "burning" symptoms if used properly (ie, an initial dose to put the animal "under" and then a lethal dose). Otherwise, anesthesia for surgery would be considered inhumane.

Seriously, you must have experience with shitty veterinarians.
>> Anonymous
Just post to craigslist that you have a sick ferret in need of someone to look after it until it dies and that you do not have the money to take care of it. A ferret lover will e-mail you and come pick it up the next day.
>> Anonymous
>>165187
>>165197

Thirded. Vets usually are pretty good with removing small animals' tumors; I have had them removed from mice, rats, and rabbits before. Sure, you can't afford it, so give it to someone that can. Shelter, craigslist, newspaper ad, something, but just realize it doesn't necessarily have to be put to sleep.
>> Anonymous
vinegar + baking soda, in a bucket. suspend a holey towel over it so the ferret doesn't have to get wet as it needlessly dies.
>> Anonymous
OP here. I am pretty sure it is a bone tumor of some kind, if they could remove it her leg and a chunck or torso would probably have to go. So no matter what she is probably a gonner no matter who I give her to. We were late to notice it because it was tucked up under her arm. I could probably scrap together the money to take her to the vet in a week or so, but I posted this hoping someone would suggest a method that was cheep, I could do ASAP, and would be reletively humane. The CO2 method seems to fit the bill, and seems even more humane than the vet method of jabbing her with a needle on a cold steel table. And like I said, if I do it while she is asleep, she will likely never even know.
>> Anonymous
ferrets are just like jews only smaller, find a well or construct a small well and throw it down the well.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I pity folks who just try to think of stupid ways to kill animals, instead of helping others or themselves in the realm of knowledge. Go back to /b/ and shoot yourself, please. Your posts are like Hummer SUVs in the world of knowledge
>> Anonymous
>>165467like Hummer SUVs in the world of knowledge

useful, comfortable, and villainized for income disparity political posturing reasons more than any hard facts are able to support?
>> Anonymous
>>165470
Oh hell no. Shut up now before this escalates in to new levels of retardation.
>> Anonymous
>>165471
>=3
>> Lokian !!8oBdJTVCtNB
How about a nice large dose of morphine.
Worked for the guys in WWII
>> Anonymous
Yeah give it to uthanasia, they eat the shit out of those little fuckers.
>> Anonymous
OP has it set for killing the poor fucker. Safely assume he's trolling at this point. /thread.
>> Anonymous
I remember reading about a family that almost died from carbon monoxide. When paramedics arrived, the whole family was paralyzed on the floor; conscious, but unable to move at all. EMTs opened all the windows (and probably administered oxygen) and movement slowly returned.
>> Anonymous
BRICK OF MERCY. there is no other method
>> Anonymous
the richard gere method, it's the only way to be sure
>> Anonymous
OP is a idiot for falling for his roommate's ex-girlfriends trap. Clearly it's a bomb and your roommate not wanting to deal with it obviously isn't fooled.
>> Anonymous
>>165553

which is why we're all talking about carbon DIOXIDE, fucker. can't you read?
>> Anonymous
>>165563
I just hate it when an idiot thinks he's smarter than I am.
>> Anonymous
>>165320
Win.
>> Anonymous
FIRE
>> Anonymous
>>165319
Go back to Gaia you little shit. They're talking about the most painless way to put to sleep an animal that would otherwise experience a lot of unnecessary pain.
>> Anonymous
Op, listen, seriously

First, SEARCH FOR A FERRET SHELTER IN YOUR AREA

Secondly, if there really is no other way, be a man and cut it's head off. You know it's the most honorable way, for both you and the ferret.

But really, do search for a shelter. Maybe the tumor isnt as big as you think.