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Turtle Murder Anonymous
I get home today and my roommate is like "Look dude! I found a turtle! I'm gonna make an ashtray!"

he opens this big tupperware tub, and theres a big turtle, on its back, its belly smashed in, bleeding. Then in moves.
Now, the roomie is not a warped killer. In fact, seeing it alive almost brings him to tears.
Apparently he fed it a ton of antifreeze thinking it would die immediately, smashed it, and its been alive for like, 2 days.

SO he gets a pitchfork and stabs it some more and fills the tupperware with water. I think its still alive.

How the hell do you killa turtle quickly? I want to puke and the roomie is freaking out. Neither of us want to see it suffer.

I think he's a retard for kidnapping a turtle in the first place, but now we have no choice but to finish it off.

Halp!
>> Anonymous
stab it really deeply right under its neck. that should instantly kill it.
>> Anonymous
>Now, the roomie is not a warped killer.

>Apparently he fed it a ton of antifreeze thinking it would die immediately

>"Look dude! I found a turtle! I'm gonna make an ashtray!"

wat. You'd best be trollin'.
>> Anonymous
oh god what the fuck. cannibal holocaust anyone?

does a beer can with a 2cm of water not make a good enough ash tray?
>> Anonymous
So he found a turtle and decided to kill it to make an ashtray?

I think dry ice + water would release enough carbon dioxide to kill it, since it accumulates on the bottom.
>> Anonymous
Gasoline or anything alike should be poisenous enough to kill it, especially if it has open wounds.
>> Anonymous
sever the fucking head you pussy!!
>> Anonymous
>>SO he gets a pitchfork and stabs it some more and fills the tupperware with water.

It's a turtle, not a submarine. It's not going to fill up with water and sink.

BTW, I'd look into moving out. Just sayin'
>> Anonymous
If it's a box turtle, I might feel obligated to report your room mate to the authorities.
>> Anonymous
That's all we need here, /b/tard trolls.
>> Anonymous
>>264861
actually, yet. box turtles do not belong in water. and if OP's turtle was a box turtle...
>> Anonymous
>>264838
...I'm pretty sure box turtles are protected by law and you're not allowed to remove them from the wild. Much less make ash trays.

Of course yours was a troll post, so whatever...
>> Anonymous
>>264879
i ment yes.. not yet.
>> Anonymous
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This, retard. Also, use it on roomate and self.
>> Anonymous
this