File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
sup /an/

There is a chipmunk in my basement. I need it out of there. I've locked my cat down there, but he is just being fat and uncooperative. Ideally I would like it alive so that I can keep it for a pet. Suggestions?
>> Anonymous
dont send your cat after it if you want it alive, get some friends over and have a blast chasing that motherfucker down
>> Anonymous
If you want it alive why the hell you put your cat down there?
>> Anonymous
allow me to rephrase.

If I could get it alive that would be great, but removal of the chipmunk takes priority
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
so, my cat got the chipmunk but didn't kill him. I managed to save the chipmunk in the nick of time.

I wrapped him in a towel and put him in a box. 5 minutes later he was fine. Currently still in the box until I can find a better area to house him
>> Anonymous
in before nevermind i sat on him :(
>> #fortune Anonymous
Fortune?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
chipmunk pics.

Update, chipmunks jump really high and he just escaped from that box.Currently he is somewhere in my computer room
>> Anonymous
>>133626

send in the cat again
>> Anonymous
>>133628
Disregard that. Cat will have a taste for chipmunk and seeing the same chipmunk alive and free again will inspire it to be a much more effective killing machine.
>> Anonymous
>>133634
the hell's wrong with that?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>133628

nah, I set up one of those elmer fudd traps. What do chipmunks eat? I read cat food works, but he's not going for it
>> Anonymous
>>133641
Would YOU want chipmunk gore all over your computer room?
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
This is gold.
>> Anonymous
>>133644
Thread becoming epic.
>> Anonymous
op here

do you think chipmunks would go for wet cat food? or should I put out some fresh fruit
>> Anonymous
>>133644

He knows it's a trap.
>> Anonymous
Their omnivorous diet consists of grain, nuts, birds' eggs, fungi, worms, and insects.

Go with that for your trap.
>> Anonymous
anti-freeze
>> Anonymous
You are a horrible human being. Enjoy your terrified wild animal which will soon die of heart attack from fear or lack of proper care on your part.
>> Anonymous
chipmunks eat other chipmunks, find one and put it in your computer room
>> Anonymous
>>133660
horrible human beings? in MY 4chan?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
So I've eliminated all places for this thing to hide under, now its just my chasing him with a fishing net hoping to corner him or something

wtf

how does chipmunk jump that high?
>> Anonymous
This thread is fucking awesome, try peanuts or something.
>> Anonymous
>>133644

i lol'ed

20 internets to you if this works.
>> Anonymous
>>133665
OP IS A TERRORIST! GET HIM! Just look at all those outdated airport books and instrumentation manuals!
>> Anonymous
>>133665
shit, his eyes looks like a hollow's! BE CAREFUL OP!!! HE'LL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!!!
>> Anonymous
>>133668
lol'd heartily
>Thread
can't stop rofling
>> Anonymous
epic hunt
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
currently, the chipmunk is hiding behind two books near door and the trap just staring at me. I'm going to leave him alone until he goes for the food. A delicious platter of apples, peanut butter, bread, cheezits, and cat food
>> Anonymous
1. open window/door
2. leave room for a while
3.???
4. profit

There's no reason to keep the animal. You already have a pet.
>> Anonymous
>>133672

i think it's too scared to eat.
>> Anonymous
>>133672
next time you check i might be in that trap im hungry
>> Anonymous
Why don't you open the window and chase the damn thing out?
>> Anonymous
>>133676
cat food turns you on?
>> Muhamed Christbergstein
admiral ackbar has tipped off the chipmunk. you will need to come up with a better plan.
>> Anonymous
>>133678
>>133674

I would. However, this is all taking place in my basement, which is a corridor of sorts. there are 2 rooms. 1 is the computer room near the back of the basement, and there is a room we use for storage right near the stairs. I currently have a pissed off cat patrolling the storage room, while the chipmunk is with me. The cat hears the commotion and is right by the door. Should I open up, the cat would be in here and after that chipmunk and probably kill it. Fuck getting gore all over my nice carpet
>> Anonymous
>>133679
whats wrong with that?
>> Anonymous
I thought you said you moved it to a computer room. It's still in the basement? Let the cat catch it again, and refine us up some L.O.L.s (it stands for Laugh Out Loud) into useable Lulz.
>> Anonymous
>>133692

computer room is in the basement. Sending the cat in now
>> Anonymous
>>133693
This will be awesome.
>> Anonymous
TAKE PIX!
>> Anonymous
If your cat is fat he needs the exercise anyway.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
cat had the same idea as me and is laying a trap.

He is also not pleased
>> Anonymous
>>133700
He knows you'll take the chipmunk away from him like a fucking idiot. When my cats were playing with mice and my mother tried to pull that shit they'd just scarf the fucker down in a few bites.
>> Anonymous
It's a little animal, it's not going to make a lot of blood if he does kill it. He'll probably just play with it until it dies of shock.
>> Anonymous
>>133704
So shampoo your carpet after words. Or the next time you catch it don't let it jump out of the box like a fucking moron. When the chipmunk was staring at you he was thinking: I can't believe I got trapped down here with THIS idiot.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
op here

Sorry for the lack of update, stuff happened quick. I ended up releasing the chipmunk, due to my cat getting pissed off at me for trying to take it away from him again
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Cat ended up snatching the chipmunk, which I promptly took, placed in a box again, and released outside
>> Anonymous
That is the most boring ending imaginable but you probably made some idiots happy.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
unfortunately, the chipmunk freaked out an had a heart attack in the box. Good night sweet prince

D:
>> Anonymous
It was still pretty funny.
>> Anonymous
>>133719
Ha ha ha. Boring ending becomes epic win!
>> Anonymous
Somebody should archive this on Wikichan.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I.. I couldn't resist..
>> Anonymous
>>133719
well now you need to kill another chipmunk and youll have a matching pair of socks
>> Anonymous
>>133683
nothing a steam bot couldn't cure. about 100 bucks in most department stores.
>> Anonymous
>>133719

I bet you microwaved it ;(
>> Anonymous
I've heard chipmunk soup is delicious. Gut and clean that bad boy and you'll feast well tonight.
>> Anonymous
>>133762
then do the same with your cat for deliscious WIN!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
>>133769
oh snap!!! SHINIGAMI CAT!!!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
op here

THE PLOT THICKENS. Not really. I let my cat out shortly after I dumped the chipmunk and he went right to it and dragged it off under a bush, where he proceeded to enjoy it quite thoroughly
>> Anonymous
>>133773
would you liek a link to a blog where a cats owner catalogs (via photographs) what his cat has killed?
>> Anonymous
>>133773
Saves you some monies on cat food. Every owner should wish to have such a responsible cat.
>> Anonymous
>>133775

this interests me. Yes plox
>> Anonymous
>>133777
anonymous delivers!

http://whatjeffkilled.com/index.html
>> Anonymous
If memory serves, Jeff of whatjeffkilled.com is a feral who hangs out on some guy's back porch and brings dead animals by, not the guy's pet.
>> Anonymous
>>133784you, sir, are correct (my bad)
>BACKGROUND:

>Jeff is a large orange tomcat that lives and kills in Shadow Hills, CA.

>Jeff has adopted our back porch and yard as his home. He uses our dog's house when it rains, but mostly he likes to sleep on our patio chairs and keep watch over his domain.

>Though he doesn't really belong to us, we provide Jeff with food and water; however, this does little to lessen his killer instinct. To humans, Jeff is an exceptionally good-tempered and friendly cat; to rodents and other small animals, he is death itself.

>It could be that Jeff likes to bring us gifts to repay our hospitality. Perhaps he is simply a hardwired killing machine. All we know for certain is that he hunts down a wide variety of small animals and disembowels, decapitates, and dines on them. Often.
>> Anonymous
>>133784

Eh, he's not really "feral," just a stray. Ferals are typically several generations wild and won't even let humans get near. Either Jeff was originally a pet or his mother was.
>> Anonymous
>Thread
Massive win!!!
>> Anonymous
>>133850

I AGRRE
>> Anonymous
OP is a horrible person and a complete idiot.

But I lol'd so hard.
and now i made myself feel bad.