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how do i get my roommate's cat to shut up? Anonymous
my roommate has this fat, furry, irritating fucking cat that meows at me *constantly* -as in whenever it sees me. it's really wearing thin on my nerves. i don't have anything this cat could possibly want. how do i get the stupid thing to shut up?

...aside from fucking punting it, which is what i really feel like doing, but that's not a terribly humane thing to do.
>> Anonymous
spray it in the face with a water bottle and scare it away, otherwise just kicking it and yelling would do the trick
>> Anonymous
>>324604
sometimes i wave my arms like crazy and that sort of scares him off
>> Anonymous
BUT HE LOVES YOU D:
>> Anonymous
>>324612
this cat doesn't love anybody. people exist to feed and brush him. he's a former award-winning show cat, meaning he's froofy and fat and spoiled and godawful hairy. i haven't seen him show affection in the least, even to my roommate, who constantly talks baby to him like he's the mostest specialest kitty in the world. it's about as annoying as the meowing, really.

fuck that fucking cat
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Hiss at him. It's the cats' way to say "gtfo". Fake swipe at him at the same time would make your point clear.
>> Anonymous
stretch its face, and say ching chong nip nong, do you understand me? gtfo
>> Anonymous
Just pet it and stop being such a dick.
>> Anonymous
>>324599
I'd hate to know how you deal with harder real-life frustrations.
>> Anonymous
>>324790
Contemplating about doing it out of shear stress and anger is different from actually doing it.
>> Anonymous
>>324794
Good. Then there's no problem.
>> Anonymous
cats don't speak human, meows ususally mean one of 3 things:
1-feed me
2-pet me
3-hi
>> Anonymous
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WHEN CAT MEOW MEAN IT CATURDAY!!
>> Anonymous
Get rid of the fucking cat. Cats suck anyway.
>> Anonymous
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YOU NEEDS SHUTUP CATS ARE FREAKIN GREAT ME NEVER SEE DOG DO CUTE THINGS
>> poe
     File :-(, x)
>>324599
he clearly wants
a. attention. (as in petting/snozzling)
b.food. (check to see if hes out of it, if so, fill it up)
c. to watch you get pissed as fuck over a little cat, he finds it hilarious (theres nothing you can do)
>> Anonymous
i have a cat that likes to bug my friends also. find something it doesnt like to smell, my friend uses a burt's bee's chapstick. have him smell it, my cat usually runs away after she smells it. I have no idea why, she must just really think it smells awful. Now she doesn't have to smell it, as soon as she sees the chapstick she runs from it.
>> Anonymous
>>325076

My cat does that if I let her taste sriracha. She also hates the smell of tea-bags.
>> Anonymous
>>324599

Kill it. Put some poison in its water. Cats suck worse than any other animal on the planet.
>> Anonymous
What people are saying about it being one of a few things -- Food, Attention or just hello -- Everytime it meows at you now, just give it heaps of attention... keep playing with it... Cats get bored fairly quickly so if you keep bothering it, It'll get annoyed at you and learn that if it goes near you, you'll annoy it.
>> Anonymous
>>324599
IT WANTS YOUR COMPANIONSHIP YOU HEARTLESS FUCK.

FUCK YOU.
>> Anonymous
>>325273
see
>>324620
>> Anonymous
Little squirt gun to the face usually works.
>> Anonymous
If a cat makes noise at me or comes within grabbing range, it is telling me that it is dirty. In order of preference:

1. Full immersion bath (toilet)
2. Spray with hose (if outdoors)
3. Water pistol, spray bottle etc

Straight in the face is preferable.

or -

Borrow a grown dog with a capacity for violence.

Fucking cat owners are so oblivious about their annoying little darlings.
>> Anonymous
> Fucking cat owners are so oblivious about their annoying little darlings.

HOLY SHIT TRUTH.

I'm pretty sure it's the brain parasites that make them such awful assholes.
>> Anonymous
>>325289
It's not our fault. Cat's come with brain parasites that enter your nose and attach themselves to your brain, making you just DOOOHHH LOOKIT THE KITTEN. LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE CAT HANDS. Having more cats increases this disease.
>> Anonymous
>>325289

So true. I shared an apartment with some ugly chick in Lisbon and her cat would always run in my room when I opened my door and dart under my bed. It would also jump up on for no reason whatsoever. And I hate cats. She'd fucking giggle like it was so cute. The cat would make a big fucking mess of its shit box and would walk around on the kitchen counter and the fuggly would just laugh. Holy shit I hated the two of them so much. Worst few months of my life.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
i agree wih this pic- and im a total cat fan
>> Anonymous
my cat isnt loud and scurries from everyone . i believe shes not annoying unless provoked to maul shit up when you dangle a little stuffed mouse around her,

i taught her to play fetch too, which is fuck awesome.
>> Anonymous
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>>324663
FURRY DETECTED
>> Crazy Cat Lady
>>325200
lol, i tried this to teach my cats to stop begging. worked for the fat one (we had chicken chow suey, very spicy mode, worked well. she won't even go near a shop stick now)
the bad begger, who thinks that everything i eat he gets to eat, stuck his head into my bag of hot cheetos, ate like 4 or 5 of them and went along on his merry way. begged for more the next day... fffffffffff
>> Anonymousse
Aww just give it a cuddle
>> Anonymous
>>325290
It's not something as benign a parasitic disease. You could fight such diseases with filter masks and antibiotics. No, it's telepathic mind control. That's why the closer you get to a cat the stronger their grip on your mind becomes. And there's no way to escape it, short of voluntarily damaging the part of your brain that they target.
>> Anonymous
get him a toy to entertain him or a cardboard beer flat, cats love those.
>> Anonymous
Most cats are trolls.
>> Anonymous
>>324599

Pet the thing, or toy. Yarn, HOLY SHIT, they love yarn.