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Anonymous
>>177400 Alright, let's make sure we have this memorized.
Raccoons: Adorable, marketable, about 2 in 3 chance that any one you actually see (seeing them is rare for they are as ninja) will have rabies, blindingly fast, travel in gangs, will mug you for bus fare change. Have huge testicles and elude predators by turning into statues.
Opossums: Filthy, disgusting, snaggle-toothed, highly unlikely to carry rabies, 2 in 3 chance that any given one you see is a mother with a bunch of mucous-covered pseudo-fetuses in her kangaroo pouch. Not aggressive in the slightest. Elude predators by playing dead, ie. going into a coma involuntarily and emitting corpsesmell.
Both can be found in a North American dumpster near you!
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