File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
THIS THREAD IS ABOUT BRUTAL MOTHERFUCKING ANIMALS FUCK YES I'LL START.

GODDAMN THIS IS A BRUTAL FUCKER, FUCK YES THE MOST AWESOME TURTLE EVER, THE ALLIGATOR MOTHERFUCKING SNAPPING TURTLE.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
GREAT WHITE SHARKS. SUDDENLY YOU'RE IN THE OCEAN, AND THESE MOTHERFUCKERS ARE IN THERE TOO. SUDDENLY THEY REMEMBER HOW FUCKING HUNGRY THEY ARE AND HOW YOU LOOK KINDA LIKE A SEAL OR SOME SHIT, AND THEY FIGURE YOU'RE SO AS SHIT SO THEY BITE YOUR LEG OFF.

GG WOULD SWIM IN THE OCEAN AGAIN? I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
FISH MONSTERS FROM THE PLANET ZORBON 6
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>331438
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

THIS IS THE GODDAMN COLOSSAL SQUID, IT'S FUCKING HUGE, MUCH LARGER THAN EVEN THE FAMED GIANT SQUID, THESE FUCKERS WILL TEAR YOUR SHIT UP.

THE FIRST PERSON TO CATCH ONE THESE FUCKERS WERE FISHERMAN HOW HARDCORE IS THAT? FUCK YEAH
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>331440
FUCK YOU.

FLYING CENTAUR MEN. ARE THEY HUMAN OR ANIMAL? HOW DO THEY WORK? THEY WILL SEDUCE YOU WITH THEIR MAN PARTS, THEN RAM YOUR SHIT WITH THEIR COLOSSAL HOOVES AND EAT YOU. BUT IT'S ONLY PARTIALLY CANNIBALISM AND IS SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE IN FLYING CENTAUR SOCIETY.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
FUCK YOU FAGGOTS, YOU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO SIT DOWN FROM ALL THE BRICKS YOU'RE ABOUT TO SHIT AFTER SEEING THIS CRAZY MOTHER FUCKER. THIS BITCH IS TINY AS HELL SO YOU CAN'T SEE WHERE THE FUCK HE'S GONNA BE, PROBABLY UP YOUR FUCKING ASS.

HE HAS THESE FUCKING THINGS ON HIS BACK THAT CAN PROBABLY RIP THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR FURNITURE, MOTHER FUCKER IS INSANE WITH THAT

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THOSE FUCKING EYES, JESUS CHRIST ITS LIKE YOU'RE STARING INTO TWO TINY BLACK HOLES OF DESPAIR, MOTHERFUCKER, WE'RE TALKING ENDLESS POOLS OF FUCKING NOTHING. THAT'S HOW HARDCORE HE IS.

FUCK, THIS IS AWESOME.
>> Anonymous
>>331442

"AWESOME" ISN"T THE WORD I'D USE FOR THAT. MORE LIKE TERRIFYING AS FUCK.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
THIS HERE IS A FUCKING CRAZY MONKEY. HE KNOWS THAT RABID DOG WILL FUCKING TEAR HIS SHIT TO PIECES IN A MOMENT'S NOTICE, BUT THAT MONKEY JUST DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK. HE'LL TEASE THE RABID DONG WHENEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS TO TEASE THE RABID DOG. FUCK YOU, HE'S A CRAZY MOTHER FUCKER, LOOKING DEATH STRAIGHT IN THE EYES AND SAYING "FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
THERIZINOSAURS ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING PINNACLE OF EVOLUTIONARY BADASSARY.

SEE THOSE CLAWS, YOU BITCHES? THOSE ARE OVER A METER IN LENGTH. THERIZINOSAUR WOULD FUCK YOUR SHIT ALL OVER HELL AND BACK.

YOU COCKFAGS MIGHT THINK THAT SINCE HE'S A HERBAVORE HE'D BE A PUSSY, WELL YOU'D BE WRONG FAGGOTS. THIS MOTHERFUCKING KING OF BADASSES WAS AS TALL AS A T-REX, THATS UP TO 40FT TALL, YOU FUCKS. THERINOSAUR WAS 6.2 TONS OF COLOSSAL BRICKSHITTING AMAZEMENT.

NOT ONLY THAT, BUT THIS PIMP WAS SPORTING FEATHERS. HALF BIRD, HALF DINOSAUR, ALL ASSKICKING DEATH MACHINE OF JUSTICE.
>> Anonymous
I've always been afraid of lakes and shit because of alligator snappers.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
GENTLEMEN BEHOLD, I GIVE YOU THE FINEST OF ABYSMAL FUCKWIN AWESOMENESS.

THIS FUCKER RIGHT HERE IS THE MOTHERFUCKING GIANT ISOPOD. IT'S GOT ENOUGH CLAWS TO RIP OUT BOTH YOUR THROAT AND YOUR LOWER INTESTINE. IT IS A FUCKING SIXTEEN INCHES WHEN ADULT.

SIXTEEN MOTHERFUCKING INCHES, HOLY DICK.

IT WON'T JUST RAPE YOUR MOTHER, IT'LL BITE OFF YOUR MEAT-STICK WITH IT'S FUCKING MULTI-KNIFE MANDIBLES.

ITS YOUNG EVEN HIDE ON FISH DICKS, SO WHEN ANOTHER FISH DECIDES TO GIVE ANOTHER FISH A BLOWJOB, IT RUNS INTO THE OTHER FISH'S MOUTH, EATS ITS TONGUE, THEN TAKES IT'S PLACE.

THE FISH DOESN'T KNOW JACK SHIT.

THIS FUCKING AWESOME PIECE OF SHIT WILL RIP YOU A FUCKING NEW ONE.
>> Anonymous
>>331454
>HE'LL TEASE THE RABID DONG WHENEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS TO TEASE THE RABID DOG
>HE'LL TEASE THE RABID DONG
>TEASE THE RABID DONG
>RABID DONG
>DONG
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I'M SORRY PUSSIES, PLEASE PACK UP YOUR VAGINAS AND TAMPONS AND GET THE FUCK OUT BECAUSE A REAL MAN IS HERE TO FUCK YOUR SHIT UP.

MANTIS SHRIMP. HE IS NOT A MANTIS. HE IS NOT A SHRIMP. DOES HE GIVE A FUCK? FUCK NO. FUCK YOU TOO. HE JUST DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK AND HE HAS AN AWESOME NAME LIKE MANTIS SHRIMP BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING ALLOWED TO CALL HIMSELF WHATEVER HE WANTS AND THIS IS WHY:

HE HAS THE BEST FUCKING VISION ON THE PLANET. YOU PUNY HUMANS WITH YOUR SIMPLE BINOCULAR VISION THAT CAN DETECT ONLY VISIBLE LIGHT AIN'T GOT SHIT ON HIS EYEBALLS WHICH EACH HAVE INDEPENDENT DEPTH PERCEPTION THAT BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF BOTH YOUR EYES AND RETINAS THAT CAN DETECT MORE VISIBLE COLORS THAN YOU IN ADDITION TO SEEING SOME INFRARED AND ULTRAVIOLET BECAUSE WHY THE FUCKING HELL NOT?

THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS SMART AS HELL, TOO. HE CAN RECOGNIZE HIS FELLOW MANTIS SHRIMPS BY SCENT AND SIGHT AND CAN CREATE FLOURESCENT PATTERNS TO COMMUNICATE WITH THEM AND EVEN REMEMBER NEW ONES. HE FIGHTS LIKE A MAN, LAYING DOWN GROUND RULES FOR RITUALIZED COMBAT FOR MATING AND TERRITORY PURPOSES.

AND YOU DO NOT WANT TO PISS THIS MOTHERFUCKER OFF BECAUSE HE HAS A PUNCH LIKE A GODDAMN BULLET GOING INTO YOUR NUTS. HE WILL MAKE BUBBLES THAT EXPLODE LIKE A GODDAMN NUKE AND FUCK YOUR SHIT UP JUST BY PUNCHING YOU IN THE GODDAMN NECK.

BE THANKFUL THAT THIS MOTHERFUCKER CAN'T FLY OR DRIVE A TANK OR SOME SHIT BECAUSE YOU WOULD NOT CALL HIM A MANTIS SHRIMP THEN, YOU WOULD CALL HIM SIR AND GET HIM WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS.
>> Anonymous
this thread is awesome
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
YOU THINK THOSE FUCKERS ARE TOUGH? WELL YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A REAL BAD MOTHERFUCKER YET SO HERE HE IS.

THIS IS A GODDAMN TARDIGRADE. COMMONLY KNOWN AS WATER BEAR. THE FUCKER IS ONLY 1.5mm LONG AT MAXIMUM, BUT HE'S SO GODDAMN TOUGH THEY CALL HIM BEAR. BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE COMES CLOSE AND EVEN YOU RETARDS HAVE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

150 C° TEMPERATURE?
NO PROBLEM.
1000 TIMES MORE RADIATION THAN ANY OTHER ANIMAL ON EARTH.
NO PROBLEM.
MOTHERFUCKING VACUUM OF SPACE.
NO GOD DAMN PROBLEM.

THIS MOTHERFUCKER LIVES WHERE HE WANTS AND DON'T AFRAID OF NOTHING. AND IF YOU THINK HE'S COOL AND WANNA BUY HIM A DRINK. DON'T YOU EVEN FUCKING TRY IT. HE HAD A SIP LESS THAN A DECADE AGO SO HE WON'T BE NEEDING YOUR PUSSY-ASS WATER SO JUST FUCK OFF.
>> 4tran
>>331440
more like the squid tore itself to pieces in the net
>> Anonymous
fuckin jews lol
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
OK BASTARDS, BACK UP AND MAKE WAY FOR THE POISON ARROW FROG. HE MAY ONLY BE A FEW CENTIMETRES LONG AND LOOK LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO SHIT A RAINBOW, BUT HE'LL FUCK YOU UP HARDCORE. THIS LITTLE FUCKER GOES OUT HUNTING IN THE DAYTIME, WHEN ALL THE OTHER FROGS ARE HIDING IN THE UNDERGROWTH. WHY? BECAUSE HE'S SO FUCKING POISONOUS THAT THE PREDATORS ARE SCARED OF HIM, THAT'S WHY.
HE'S SO HARDCORE HE EATS POISONOUS ANTS FOR BREAKFAST, MOTHERFUCKER. THOSE ANTS KNOW TRUE DESPAIR BEFORE THEY'RE EATEN. THEY LOOK AT HIS COLOURS AND THE SEE THE COLOURS OF DEATH.TO THESE ANTS, DEATH IS A RAINBOW.
SO YOU'D BETTER NOT BE MESSING WITH THIS LITTLE FUCKER, OR YOU MIGHT FIND HIM SHITTING RAINBOW POISON IN YOUR HALLOWE'EN CANDY THIS YEAR.
>> Anonymous
LEGENDARY THREAD
>> Anonymous
CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF BRUTALITY? THINK AGAIN. YOU MOTHERFUCKERS AINT NEVER SEEN NOTHING TO MATCH THE SHEER BADASSERY OF THIS CUNT HERE, THE ALLIGATOR GAR. IF THE ALLIGATOR GAR WERE A MAN HE'D OOZE TESTOSTERONE LIKE EVERY WOMAN HE WALKS PAST OOZES PUSSY JUICES IN PREPARATION FOR THE ASSAULT WITH HIS GARGANTUAN BATTERING RAM THAT BITCH IS ABOUT TO RECIEVE. HE'D FUCK YOUR GRANDMOTHER IN HER WITHERED ASSHOLE AND PULL OUT FOR A MONEY SHOT BEFORE TEARING THAT BITCH'S EYES OUT OF HER LEATHERY SPERM RECEPTACLE AND PUNCHING HER IN THE THROAT WITH HIS DICK AND TEARING OUT A NEW PASSAGE FOR HIS GLORIOUS SEED.
LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING JAWS MAN, LOOK AT THEM. OH THAT'S RIGHT YOU CAN'T LOOK AT THEM BECAUSE YOU'RE A PUSSY AND YOU'RE TOO SCARED TO LOOK UPON THE FACE OF SUCH A FUCKING BADASS MOTHERFUCKER. THE ALLIGATOR GAR IS UGLY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T NEED TO BOTHER WITH NONE OF THAT SISSY METROSEXUAL HOMO BULLSHIT TO SPREAD HIS SEED, NO, HE TAKES WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY HIS BY FORCE AND DOESN'T FUCKING APOLOGISE FOR IT LIKE YOU PATHETIC PUSSYWHIPPED CUNTS. THE ALLIGATOR GAR CAN REACH THE SAME WEIGHT AS YOU PATHETIC BEER GUZZLING WOW PLAYING VIRGIN SHITHEADS IN PURE, LEAN MUSCLE AND Y CHROMOSOMES. YOU TRY AND PULL THIS FUCKER OUT OF THE WATER AND FIGHT HIM MAN TO MAN AND HE'LL FIGHT BACK-FOR A WHOLE TWO FUCKING HOURS OUTSIDE THE WATER. HOW LONG CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH FOR, YOU PATHETIC MEATSACK? YOU SHITCOCKS CAN'T EVEN BEND OVER WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT.

LOOK UPON THE GAR AND YOU LOOK UPON THE PINNACLE OF MASCULINITY.
>> Anonymous
THREAD NEEDS ARCHIVAL.
>> Anonymous
>>331558

FUCKING SECONDED
>> Anonymous
>>331566
THIRDED MOTHERFUCKER
>> Anonymous
>>331570

forfd
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
OH RIGHT I HEAR YOU SAYING SHIT LIKE "THIS ANT IS SO RIDICULOUS AND I'D CRUSH IT WITH MY FOOT". BUT GUESS WHAT ? THIS ANT NEVER COMES ALONE, IT COMES WITH LIKE 2 MILLIONS OF HIS PALS WITH HIM AND YOU'RE NOT FUCKING GOING TO TRY TO CRUSH 2 MILLIONS OF THEM, THEY'RE GOING TO EAT YOU THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO FUCKING DO. THEY'RE ALWAY IN MOVE LIKE A HUGE COLUMN FROM A MOTHERFUCKING ARMY OF DOOM, AND IF YOU'RE IN THEIR PATH YOU'RE BOTH A MENACE AND FOOD FOR THEM, AND THOSE ANTS DON'T FUCK AROUND WHEN IT COMES TO THAT, THEY JUST EAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. MAYBE YOU'LL MANAGE TO KILL ONE OR TWO, BUT THAT WILL ONLY MAKE THE 1.999.999 OTHER EVEN MORE ANGRY AT YOU. YOU JUST NEED TO RUN, RIGHT ? WELL THAT'S ONLY IF YOU SEE THEM COMING, BECAUSE HOW DO YOU SPOT ANTS IN A FUCKING RAIN FOREST ? THESE FUCKERS HAVE ALREADY BEEN SEEN EATING A WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING HORSE, SO YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE ME THINK IF THEY CAN EAT A HORSE THEY CAN'T EAT YOU. JUST STAY THE FUCK AWAY OF THE RAIN FOREST, BECAUSE THE WHOLE FOREST IS LIKE A GIANT FRIDGE FOR THEM, AND THEY'RE ALWAY HUNGRY AND WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO EAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR FUCKING FAT ASS.
>> Anonymous
>>331580
THEY WILL CRAWL UP MY ASS AND EAT THE SHIT THEREIN?
FUCKAWESOME!
>> Anonymous
Archive this shit.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
FUCK YEAH SEAKING FUCK YOU TITANIC
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
ALRIGHT BACK THE FUCK UP MOTHERFUCKERS BECAUSE HERE IS..... oops sorry. yeah not brutal.
>> Anonymous of Canada !3uHwKW78fs
     File :-(, x)
So many capital letters!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THIS THING WHAT IS IT IS IT APE? IS IT MONKEY? IS IT MAN?

GODDAMN IT IS THE MISSING LINK HOLY SHIT WE'LL WIN THE NOBEL FOR FINDING THIS SHIT FUCK YEAH THIS IS THE BEST EXPEDITION OF DEATH INTO THE JUNGLE EVER

IT'S FLINGING SHIT ONTO THE FUCKING SCIENTIFIC ESTABLISHMENT FUCK YEAH IT'S LIKE I'M REALLY APEINESE
>> cichlid !!WhOQyKVA829
     File :-(, x)
ALRIGHT YOU FUCKS, GET DOWN ON YOUR ASS AND PRAY YOUR THANKS THAT GOD FOUND THIS MOTHERFUCKER SO AMAZINGLY BADASS THAT HE HAD TO TAKE HIM OFF THE PLANET.

DUNKLEOSTEUS IS ABOUT TO ROCK YOU SHITS BACK INTO THE LATE DEVONIAN PERIOD.

THIS MOTHERFUCKER WAS ROUGHLY 20FT LONG, AND HAD FUCKING BONES ON HIS MOTHERFUCKING HEAD! WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON YOUR HEAD? WEAKASS PUNY-HUMAN HAIR IS WHAT YOU HAVE, YOU BITCHES.

DUNKLEOSTEUS HAD A BITE FORCE OF 5300N. YOU FAGS DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS DO YOU? I'LL TRANSLATE: DUNKLEOSTEUS WILL FUCK. YOUR. SHIT. BACKWARDS.
THIS BRUTAL MOTHERFUCKER COULD OPEN HIS JAW SO FAST, IT CREATED A GOD DAMN SUCTION EFFECT. YOU KNOW HOW YOU'D FAIR IN THAT? YOU'D FAIR LIKE DINNER. NO. FUCK THAT. MORE LIKE A SNACK. A PUSSY SNACK. CAUSE THATS WHAT YOU ALL ARE. PUSSIES.
>> Anonymous
I love you.
>> Anonymous
I found a baby aligator snapper but this chick hustled me out of it and she looked at me and it all crazy like she was going to smash it to bits, I asked her what she was going to name it , and she goes Ill right it down for you and walked off ...crazy biatch, poor turtle :(
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
YOU'RE PROBABLY WISHING YOU COULD TAKE THIS EVOLUTIONARY ODDITY HOME WITH YOU. GUESS WHAT, FAGGOT? THIS LITTLE FUCKER'S HIND LEGS HAVE POISONOUS SPURS. THAT'S RIGHT, THEY CAN PUT A NASTY VENOM RIGHT INTO YOUR BLOODSTREAM BY KICKING YOU.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
LOOK AT THIS MOTHER FUCKING BIRD YOU FAGGOTS. THAT'S RIGHT MOTHER FUCKS ITS THE GODDAMNED DEVIL BIRD OF SRI LANKA YOU PUSSIES. CAN YOU LOOK AT THAT BIRD IN THE EYES? FUCK NO YOU CAN'T, THIS BIRD WILL FUCK YOU UP! IT ALSO HAS A CALL THAT SOUNDS LIKE A HUMAN DIEING, WHICH IT USES TO ATTRACT BIRD BITCHES TO FUCK. THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKS THIS BIRD GETS TURNED ON BY THE SOUNDS OF HUMANS BEING KILLED. FUCK YES. CAN YOU FUCK WITH THAT? FUCK NO YOU CAN'T BECAUSE YOU'RE A BUNCH OF LITTLE PUSSIES.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU MOTHER FUCKING PUSSIES. THIS IS THE FUCKING FLY THAT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT. DO YOU KNOW WHY THE FUCK YOU DO NOT GO INTO THE FUCKING JUNGLE MOTHERFUCKERS? THIS MOTHER FUCKER RIGHT HERE, THE GOD DAMN BOT FLY! HOW FUCKING BAD ASS IS THIS LARVAE OF TERROR, THE RULER OF YOUR NIGHTMARES, I'M THE GOD DAMN BOT FLY AND AND I WILL LAY MY FUCKING BABIES IN YOUR FUCKING EYE AND IN YOUR FUCKING BRAIN AND IN THE VERY FLESH OF YOUR FLESH AND THEN I WILL CONSUME YOU FROM THE INSIDE LIKE SOME BLACK HOLE OF DESPAIR. I AM SO FUCKING BAD ASS I COULD EAT YOUR DICK OFF AND FUCK YOUR SISTER MY OWN FUCKING SELF ALL GYRATING AND GESTICULATING AND MAKING HER FUCKING CUM OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND SHE'LL KNOW IT COULD NOT HAVE BEEN YOU SO SHE GETS DOWN ON HER KNEES AND SUCKS MY SLIMY MUCUS COVERED BODY UNTIL AND THEN SHOVES ME IN HER CUNT SO THAT I CAN EAT AWAY AT HER PUSSY AND GIVE HER INTENSE PLEASURE...BUT YOU I'M GONNA FUCKING EAT FROM THE INSIDE OUT.

THE BOT FLY IS SO FUCKING BAD ASS THE ONLY WAY TO APPEASE HIM IS TO FUCKING GIVE HIM MORE FUCKING MEAT. THATS RIGHT FUCKER HE WANTS MEAT AND IF YOU LAY A FUCKING T-BONE ON YOU FLESH HE JUST MIGHT COME OUT AND SAY FUCKING HELLO BUT DONT FUCKING COUNT ON HE IS SO BAD ASS HE KNOWS YOUR FUCKING TRICKS FUCK THE GOD DAMN BOT FLY IS FUCKINNG BRUTAL LETS SEE YOU SLEEP TONIGHT FUCKERS KNOWSING THAT THIS HAS BEEN SET LOOSE ON THE WORLD BY THE CREATOR TO TORTURE THE SOULS AND FLESH OF THE FAITHFUL FUCKERS.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS HAVEN'T SEEN MOTHERFUCKING ANYTHING YET GODDAMN. THIS IS A FUCKING TASMANIAN DEVIL YOU FUCKS AND HE WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP. YOU SEE THOSE TEETH? THAT FUCKING JAW? IT WILL BREAK YOUR FUCKING BONY ARMS YOU PIECE OF SHIT. AND LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING TESTICALS GODDAMN. HE'S GOT BIGGER FUCKING BALLS THAN YOU DO AND FOR GOOD REASON TOO.

WHEN THIS SCARY FUCK GETS HORNY HIS EARS GO BRIGHT FUCKING RED AND HE RAPES YOU WITH HIS THRUSTING BEAR-CAT MANHOOD, BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE A TINY BEAR MIXED WITH A CAT, AND THAT IS THE MEANEST ANIMAL MIXTURE EVER, BEAR FOR FUCKING STRENGTH, AND CAT FOR FUCKING MEAN!!! MOTHERFUCKER.

AND DON'T MAKE THIS CUNT ANGRY, BECAUSE BEFORE YOU CAN MAKE A HULK REFERENCE, HE WOULD ALREADY HAVE DROWNED OUT ALL OTHER NOISE THAN HIS TERRIBLE SHRIEKING AND THE FACT THAT HE'S MADE THE WHOLE FUCKING PLACE SMELL LIKE DEATH. THAT'S RIGHT, THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS A GODDAMN SATAN AND HE WANTS YOU TO FUCKING KNOW IT. JUST TRY SOMETHING, HE'LL FUCKING KILL YOU.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
THIS MOTHERFUCKING TURTLE HAS TWO HEADS. THAT'S TWO HEADS HE CAN USE TO FUCK YOU UP. WITH ONE HEAD HE'LL BERATE YOU AND HE'LL BIT OUT YOUR SPINAL CORD WITH THE OTHER.
>> Anonymous
MOVE OVER BITCHES, THE BLACK MAMBA (DENDROASPIS POLYLEPIS), IS AN ELAPID SNAKE NATIVE TO sOMALIA AND NORTHEASTERN kENYA[CITATION NEEDED] AND IS ONE OF AFRICA'S MOST DANGEROUS AND FEARED SNAKES. IT IS ALSO KNOWN FOR BEING VERY AGGRESSIVE WHEN DISTURBED OR CONFRONTED AND WILL NOT HESITATE TO STRIKE WITH DEADLY PRECISION.[1]

BITCHES
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
THE PYTHON IS HERE TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW FUCKING BADASS IT IS. HOW BADASS? SO FUCKING BADASS THAT IT DOESN'T EVEN NEED VENOM TO FUCK ITS PREY UP. IT WILL WRAP YOU UP, SQUEEZE THE AIR OUT OF YOUR LIMP LUNGS, THEN SWALLOW YOU WHOLE. ENJOY BEING DIGESTED BY ACID THAT CAN BURN THROUGH METAL. YOUR BODY IS NOT METAL. IT'S PUNY FLESH.
>> Anonymous
>>332099

pythons are cute
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
YOU POOR MISGUIDED FOOLS, THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE ULTIMATE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS APPROVED BADDASS MOTHERFUCKER ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH


BEHOLD......HONEY BADGER!!
>> headsigh !pPyM90q9.6
     File :-(, x)
HOLD UP I AM GOING TO TELL YOU WHY THIS SKUNK RIGHT HERE IS THE MOST HARDCORE CREATURE ON THE MOTHERFUCKING PLANET AND ALL YOU OTHER FUCKERS CAN JUST LAY THE FUCK DOWN BECAUSE THIS FUCKER'S ABOUT TO THROW DOWN YOU KNOW WHY SKUNKS ARE HXC

THEY SMELL LIKE SHIT AND DON'T GIVE A FUCK ALL YOU FUCKING GAYWAD ANIMALS WASH YOURSELF? FUCK YOUR SHIT, THIS FUCKER RIGHT HERE TAKES A BATH WHENEVER HE FUCKING WANTS AND CAN FUCKING CONTROL HIS STINK


ALL YOU OTHER FUCKERS HAVE TO WATCH YOUR BACK? THE SKUNK DOESN'T NO FUCKING FURFAG IS GOING TO FUCK AROUND WITH THIS HARDCORE FUCKER RIGHT HERE. YOU WANT TO THROW DOWN WITH THIS FUCKER RIGHT HERE? HOW ABOUT AN OUNCE OF SHITJUICE ALL OVER YOUR FUCKING FACE FROM THE MOTHERFUCKING POLECAT, THAT'S RIGHT, POLECAT, AND IT'S NOT EVEN A CAT

THE BADDEST MOTHERFUCKING ANIMAL ON THE FUCKING PLANET IS RIGHT HERE BITCHES
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
spotted hyena

they can kill lions
and they use their hyper powered jaws to drag huge animals to the ground and rip it apart in seconds
then to consume all the meat AND bones!!
leaving little more than a patch of blood on the ground where once stood a live healthy zebra

THATS BRUTAL!!!
>> Anonymous
>>331580

ANTS ARE FUCKING BADADD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E98bMZ650yE
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>332128


Win? In my /an/? It's more likely than you think.
>> Anonymous
This guy really knows his shit. This is a good thread. Educational and entertaining.

Mantis Shrimp rule, but I hear they make shitty pets because they only move once a week when you feed them. Also you have to keep them in bullet-proof glass because they can punch so hard.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
FUCK ALL YOU TWICE DAILY WANKERS YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BRUTAL UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN THIS LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER, THE CHAIN CATSHARK. THATS RIGHT, HE'LL FUCK YOUR MOTHER WITH ITS ENTIRE 9 INCH BODY IN HER PUSSY AND HER FUCKING ASS. YOUR MOTHER WONT KNOW WHAT HIT HER BUT SHE WILL LOVE IT SO MUCH SHE WILL LEAVE YOUR FATHER AND GET HERSELF TWENTY OF THESE FUCKERS HERE. SHE WILL NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE BECAUSE THEY WILL FUCK HER SO GOOD. IN FACT, BECAUSE SHE WILL BE FUCKING ALL DAY LONG, SHE WILL HAVE NO TIME TO EAT AND THEREFORE SHE WILL DIE FROM STARVATION. SO BASICALLY THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST FUCKED AND KILLED YOUR MOTHER, HOW BRUTAL IS THAT? VERY FUCKING BRUTAL.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
ALRIGHT KIDS YOU MIGHT WANT TO LET GO OF YOUR THREE INCH DICK AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN BECAUSE THIS HERE IS A FUCKING HAGFISH. THESE BASTARDS HAVE A SKULL BUT NO FUCKING VERTEBRE. SO WHAT THE FUCK DOES THEIR SKULL AFFIX ITSELF TO? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS? NO ONE, BECAUSE NO SIMPLE FUCKING HUMAN HAS EVER DARED TO DISSECT THIS BITCH, NEVER MIND COME INTO CONTACT WITH IT. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? BESIDES THE FACT THAT THESE FUCKERS HAVE ROTATING JAWS, THEY SECRETE SO MUCH FUCKING SLIME PER MINUTE, NO ONE WILL GO NEAR THIS CRAZY ASS BEAST.
>> These guys are brutal ananamous
     File :-(, x)
These things can take you out with more or less one hoof
>> Anonymous
>>332256
>>you have to keep them in bullet-proof glass because they can punch so hard

That's insanely awesome.
>> H
EPIC THREAD IS FUCKING EPIC
>> ChickAnon
Hey AllCapsperson, you are hilarious! Don't think I've enjoyed a thread on /an/ quite so much for a while!
Oh, and don't forget Tiger Fish from Africa, Candiru from SthAmerica, the Stonefish and Conefish from Australia, or the ever popular Piranha from the Amazon. Bullet ants and Japanese hornets will also fuck you up.

Enjoy your googling, folks.
>> Anonymous
>>332542

Just so you know, there's more than one contributor.

I did the tardigrade one, and many of the others appear as though they're in different styles. I'd take a guess on 4 or 5 posters.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
SORRY TO CRASH THIS GIRL SCOUT'S PET PARTY, BUT I JUST HAD TO DROP BY TO PAY HOMAGE TO THE TRUE KING OF THE JUNGLE, THE HIPPOPOTAMUS. HIPPO IS A LATIN WORD, AND WHILE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE LACKS THE VOCABULARY FOR AN ACCURATE TRANSLATION, IT IS LOOSELY DEFINED AS "THAT WHICH DEFILES THE SACRED EARTH".

THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WEIGH UP TO 4 TONS (THATS 2 HUMMERS BITCH). THEY ARE VESSELS FOR A RAGE SO STRONG, THAT IF THE AFRICANS SOMEHOW FOUND A WAY TO UTILIZE THEM AS A MOUNT WE'D ALL BE SPEAKING ZIMBABWEAN.

THAT'S NOT ALL MOTHERFUCKERS I LEFT THE BEST PART FOR LAST. HIPPOS CONSTANTLY PARTAKE IN AN EXERCISE CALLED 'DUNG SHOWERING'. THIS PRETTY MUCH CONSISTS OF THEM BLOWING AS MUCH SHIT AND PISS INTO THEIR RIVALS FACES AS POSSIBLE TO SHOW EM WHOSE BOSS. FOR ADDED EFFECT THEY SPIN THEIR TAIL LIKE A PROPELLER DURING THIS SHAMEFUL SHOWER, TO INCREASE THE CONE OF FIRE.
>> Anonymous
>>332542
>Candiru
>fuck you up

Only if you recklessly piss in every river you cross.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
OKAY YOU FUCKS. LISTEN UP. THIS HERE MOTHERFUCKER IS A KANGAROO AND HE WILL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL. YOU TRY AND SAY G'DAY TO HIM AND YOU WILL BE DEAD BEFORE YOU HIT THE GROUND. THESE FUCKERS GO UP TO 40 MILES AN HOUR. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU SAW THESE FUCKER GO UP TO YOU AT THAT SPEED, HOPING AROUND LIKE THE MAD DEMONS THEY ARE? YOU'D SHIT YOUR PANTS IF YOU WERE SMART. TRY TO GET AN OBSTACLE IN THE WAY? THESE FUCKERS JUMP UP TO 3 METERS IN THE AIR. YOU'RE FUCKED, NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT. BECAUSE THESE FUCKS WILL GO ON THEIR TAIL AND KICK YOU. AND THESE ARE THE LEGS THAT GO UP TO 40 MILES AN HOUR. SO THEY WILL KICK YOU SO HARD YOU DIE. THAT'S RIGHT, YOU DON'T WANT TO FUCK WITH THEM. THEY MIGHT GO EASY ON YOU AND JUST POUND YOU WITH THEIR SHARP CLAWS, HORRIBLY SCARRING YOU. THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S THEM GOING EASY AND IT'S BAD ENOUGH WITH ONE OF THEM. BUT THESE FUCKERS COME IN MOBS. THAT'S RIGHT MOBS. OF HUNDREDS OF THE BADASSES. YOU'VE PISSED YOUR PANTS HAVEN'T YOU? AS YOU SHOULD, BECAUSE THESE FUCKS ARE HARDCORE.
>> Anonymous
fuckin epic thread needs to archived for GODDEMN MOTHERFUCKER BADASS SHITFUCKER MADBEASTS.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
ALRIGHT YOU SHITCUNTS. ARE YOU FUCKING SEEING THIS? ARE YOU? CAUSE I DONT THINK YOU ARE, CAUSE IF YOU WERE YOUR FUCKING PUSSY HEAD WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT

THATS RIGHT FUCKERS. THATS A BIRD. RIDING ANOTHER BIRD. THIS GUY IS SO MOTHERFUCKING HARDCORE, HES RIDING A FUCKING HAWK OR SOMESHIT THAT COULD KILL YOU IN A FUCKING SECOND WITH ITS RAZOR SHARP TALONS. THINK ABOUT THAT. JUST THINK. THIS FUCKING HAWK COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND DIVE BOMBS YOU CLAWING THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR FACE AND NECK. THATS IT MAN, YOUR WIMPY PIECE OF SHIT PHYSIQUE CANT TAKE ALL THIS AWESOME.

BUT ITS NOT OVER YET.

THEN THE SECOND BIRD JUMPS OFF THE FALCON AND PECKS THE FUCK OUT OF WHATEVER LITTLE PIECES OF YOU ARE LEFT. JUST GIVE UP AND SHOOT YOURSELF NOW, THIS IS TOO FUCKING HARDCORE FOR YOU.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
OKAY BITCHES. SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP, BECAUSE IT'S TIME TO MEET ONE HUGE BADASS. THIS IS A WOLVERINE. YOU KNOW WOLVERINE FROM THE X-MEN? PUSSY COMPARED TO THE REAL THING. YOUR SHIT IS FUCKED UP IF YOU PISS OFF THIS BADASS. WOLVES GO RUNNING FROM THIS BADASS. EVEN BEARS PISS THEMSELVES THINKING ABOUT THEM. THAT'S RIGHT, BEARS. SOMETIMES THEY KILL THE BEARS. THEY DON'T EAT ALL OF IT THEY DO IT JUST FOR FUN. DOES YOU PUNY MIND GRASP HOW GODDAMN AWESOME THESE THINGS ARE? IT IS SO AWESOME IT NEEDS ABOUT 200 SQUARE MILES OF TERRITORY TO STORE IT'S AWESOME. UNDERSTAND BITCHES? WOLVERINES HAVE MORE AWESOME IN A STRAND OF THEIR FUR THAN IN YOUR ENTIRE BODY.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
BACK A FUCK UP YOU SHIT-WADS. SHARKS ARE BRUTAL? WELL GUESS WHO EVEN FUCKING SHARKS ARE AFRAID OF. MOTHERFUCKING DOLPHINS.

IF YOU CAN - RAISE YOUR PATHETIC IQ FOR A MOMENT AND REALIZE THAT I NEVER SLEEP FOR MORE THAN 4 MINUTES. EVER. KNOW WHY? I DON'T FUCKING NEED SLEEP. I'D RATHER USE MY PREHENSILE DICK TO SLAP A SHARK AROUND AND THEN KILL IT.

JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET OPPOSABLE THUMBS. YOU'LL BE FUCKED.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
ALRIGHT FAGGOTS, HATE TO INTERRUPT YOUR PUSSY FESTIVAL WITH A TRUE BADASS SON OF A BITCH.

MEET THE ZOMBIE BOAR, IT'S LIKE A BOAR, BUT IT'S A FUCKING ZOMBIE AND HAS TEETH GROWING THROUGH ITS SKULL.

THROUGH ITS SKULL.

IT WILL FUCK YOU UP WITH ITS TEETH GROWING THROUGH ITS SKULL.

THROUGH ITS SKULL.

FUCK YEAH.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
YOU BETTER GET YOUR DIAPERS ON FAGGOTS CUZ THIS MOTHERFUCKIN BADASS WILL MAKE YOU SHIT BRIKCS HES GOT A SUPERIOR BRAIN ULTRAFAST REFLEXES AND HE FUCKING WRESTLES CROCS YOU CAN NEVER BE AS HARD AS THIS MOTHERFUCKER HE PRETTY MUCH WRESTLES DINOSAURS FOR A FUCKING RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY HE WOULD RIP YOU A FUCKING NEW ONE AND THEN JAM A TAIPAN UP YOUR MUTHAFUCKIN COLON JUST TO WATCH YOUR SUFFERING HE EVEN STUCK A STINGRAY BARB IN HIS FUCKING CHEST AND LIVED
>> Anonymous
>>332801

MOVE OVER BITCHES, MEET THE FUCKING STINGRAY.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>332801

MOVE OVER BITCHES, MEET THE FUCKING STINGRAY.

LOOK AT IT.

ITS HUGE, AND IT WILL FUCK YOU UP.

LOOK HOW FLAT IT IS.

IT COULD FUCKING KILL A CROCODILE.

HELL, IT COULD FUCKING KILL SOMETHING THAT HUNTS CROCODILES.
>> Anonymous
And now for a fun game. See if you can see which posts are made by the same Anon, if any.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
SAVAGE
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Wow...my second thread here is being regarded as Epic? I'm hardly worthy... anyways...

FUCK YES, LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKER, THE LARGEST LAND ANIMAL CURRENTLY ALIVE, HE'LL SHIT ON YOUR CAR AND HE TOTALLY WON'T GIVE A DAMN, BECAUSE HE'S JUST THAT FUCKING HUGE, THESE GUIYS ARE SO BIG AND POWERFUL THAT THERE WAS A MOTHERFUCKING MASSIVE GUN NAMED AFTER THEM, HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THAT?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
YOU SEE THIS THING? YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS? WELL, SHIT, I DONT KNOW. BUT ITLL DO YOU A FUCKING INJURY. I HAD ONE IN MY KITCHEN ONCE AND I WAS BAKING SOME COOKIES. IT KNOCKED MY PAN ON THE DAMN GROUND, TASTED MY BATTER, AND TOLD ME IT WASNT GOOD. FUCK. THAT WAS SOME MENTAL TRAUMA.
>> Anonymous
>>332875
this is just getting silly...
>> Anonymous
>>332765
what the fuck is the deal with this picture
>> Anonymous
>>332887
Looks like it's a male Red-Winged Blackbird (Agelaius phoeniceus) and a Red-Tailed Hawk (Buteo jamaicensis). Male Redwings are very territorial and defensive -- I have more than once gotten dive-bombed by one when I have (unknowingly) gotten too close to its babies.
If the photo is not shooped, then it probably captures the exact moment when a Redwing harrassing a hawk happened to make contact with the hawk's back.
>> Anonymous
>this is just getting silly...

MORE LIKE "I JUST SOILED MY MOTHER FUCKING TROUSERS"
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
FUCKING ROBO-SNAIL
>> Anonymous
this once epic thread is failed. god damn it.
>> Anonymous
Awesome thred
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Babirusa , fucken . mental
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
THIS.

YOU SEE THIS MOTHERFUCKER?

GOOD, YOU GODDAMN BETTER, BECAUSE HE SEE'S YOU, BITCH.

THIS IS A FUCKING FULL GROWN NAME-TAKING, ASS RAPING SALTWATER CROCODILE. YOU BEST GET ON YOU KNEES IN FRONT OF THIS MOTHERFUCKER, YOU WORTHLESS PEICE OF SHIT, HE'S A GODDAMN LIVING DINOSAUR. ALL THOSE OTHER DINOSAURS?

DEAD.

T-REX?

DEAD.

MOTHERFUCKING BRACHIEOSAURUS?

DEADER THAN YOUR SEX LIFE, YOU SAD SACK PEICE OF SHIT. BUT THIS MOTHERFUCKERS STILL ALIVE, STILL EATING WHAT AND WHOEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS. HE DID'NT EVEN HAVE TO CHANGE HIS EVOLUTIONARY CHARACTERISTICS TO ADAPT TO CHANGING CLIMATES, CHANGING TIMES, HELL, A WHOLE CHANGING WORLD. HE WAS BORN BADASS, AND BADASS HE'LL STAY. YOU BEST RECOGNISE HIS BADASSERY WHO LIMP WRISTED GUTTER TRASH SHITPILES.
>> Anonymous
ARCHIVE THIS SHIT, YOU FUCKERS
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
GODDAMN LOOK AT THOSE LEGS ITS FAST AS FUCK
IF YOU MEET THIS THING IN A DARK ALLEY YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK
SO STEP THE FUCK BACK AND GENUFLECT.
CAUSE THIS BADASS MOTHERFUCKER IS GONNA GET YOUR SHIT WRECKED.
>> Anonymous
Epic thread is epic!
>> Niggertits !!mGchtWMuwyw
>>332800
that looks horrible.
sauce?
>> Anonymous
>>333982
It's a babirusa.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>331507
Over 9000 hours in mspaint, by some fag.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
this badass mother fucker is a dingo. they are so badass that they can rip through a seat belt like its fucking butter and will come in the night to fucking steal your baby. thats right bitches. they steal babys. since your all so fucking stupid and puny compared to the motherfucking babyeating dingo i will provide a link.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Azaria_Chamberlain_disappearance
this badass will assfuck you back a timezone, just to force you to watch the brutal assfucking over and over again in a time paradox so your fucking stuck in a world of rectum tearing, screaming, wailing in pain alternate reality.
:cruise control :P
>> Anonymous
>EPIC THREAD IS EPIC
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
BACK UP MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU FORGOT ABOUT MOTHER FUCKING CHUCK NORRIS. THE ONLY ANIMALS ON THIS PLANET ARE THE ONES CHUCK NORRIS ALLOWS TO FUCKING LIVE!!

HE'D KILL ANY FUCKING ONE OF THEM JUST AS SOON AS LOOK AT THEM AND HE WOULN'T GIVE A SHIT, HE LIKES BUNNY RABBITS AND SHIT BUT HE'D STILL FUCKING KILL THEM ALL IF ONE OF THEM PEE'D ON HIS RUG!
>> Anonymous
>>334483
You killed it.
>> Anonymous
>>334483
Threads over guys, everyone go home
>> Anonymous
>>334483
CHUCK NORRIS IS, IN FACT, A ANIMAL.
>> Anonymous
>>331507
And then
>>334008
Make this post epic. Thread needs archiving solely for OC in /an/