File :-(, x, )
Coping Anonymous
My fiance of two years has kept the hand-made dog house of a dog he had that died when he was a little kid. It's broken, with rusted nails, and holds the dog's old blanket, and the outfit he was wearing the day he found the dog dead in the road.
I've lost a lot of pets, the most recent one I raised since it was a puppy and he never left my side, until he got out one day and died the same way, in the road. I can understand the pain, but it's been years, he's in his twenties now, and he is quite adament on keeping the thing. I've tried to be understanding, but having it in the house seems disturbing to me. I've suggested that some sort of ritual, like burying it or burning it, could help him let go and could be therapeutic, but he gets very angry and even childish, insisting that he's never going to get rid of it, and that whne we get a bigger place, it could go in a closet or something and I wouldn't have to deal with it.
We've actually been having heated arguements over it. We've been living together for over 2 years. I feel terrible about it, but I can't help not wanting it there, and it's starting to make me bitter towards his attitude. I mean, everyone's had it happen. The thing takes up our limited space and it's got sharp edges. Any advice?

tl;dr : Fiance has a dead pet's doghouse he's had for 10 years and refuses to get rid of. Advice please?

Pic related-ish.
>> Anonymous
Pass it on to any future pets you have. He gets to keep it, and it gets used. *shrugs* First thing I came up with.
>> Anonymous
>>178026
I suppose with a lot of renovating...
>> Anonymous
sigh....them fucking cars.
>> Anonymous
Leave it alone.
Some people keep the collars to dead pets, ashes, their favorite toy, etc. Its his comfort, I guess.

I had a dog that got ran over when I was a teenager, and my father was not able to retrieve the collar(he could have, but it was covered in gore and that wouldn't help with my temporary trauma), I still have the blanket and box she slept in. It has been in my closet for the longest time and its the only thing I feel I have left of her.
>> Anonymous
>>178031
I know...
>> Anonymous
>>178032
It's easier said then done, but I suppose I should try for another few months until we get the bigger place where he could put it somewhere.
>> Lokian !!8oBdJTVCtNB
The only place you can keep things forever is in your mind. Something is going to happen to that dog house/collar/blanket/ etc eventually. The best place to keep it is in your memory.

I don't think I have any pictures of my male black cat I had, but I do have his collar, and most importantly fond memories. I can imagine him coming up and laying by me or whatever I like. I remember all the cats I have ever had the privilege of serving. =D
>> Anonymous
Using the cover of night, burn it!
>> tigerfeather !CrwtTbFNxQ
Wouldn't it be great if one day, suddenly, he found the house and clothing and everything smashed in the road with tire treads on it?

Kidding aside, was this the only pet that he's had in his life? Do you guys have pets now? I can understand where he's coming from (I hardly think that I'd hold onto stuff like that for 10 years though), and perhaps another pet in the house will help him to bond to something else. Obviously he was traumatized by the incident, and may have to go to counseling to find out why he's so attached to it. Did he have any other major life problems within a few years of the incident? He could be holding onto it for reasons other than him losing the dog itself.

If your space is really that limited, I would tell him to rent a storage unit for it, and to have him store it there. It's not serving any practical purpose, and so shouldn't be cluttering up your precious space.

Also, why didn't his parents make him get rid of it within five years or so? Kind of creepy.
>> Anonymous
Why does it bother you so much? A dog house can't take up THAT much space and if he wants to keep it, you should let him. Since he's kept it this long, it's obvious that it's really important to him. Hell, i've still got all my old dogs stuff still.

IMO, i'd get pissed too if someone suggested burning something important to me. Say your mother died and you kept a quilt or something she made, would you like it if someone was trying to get you to get ride of it?
>> Anonymous
Do you have a basement? Just try to put it in some dark out-of-the-way corner than nobody ever goes to
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
It does sound like a little bit much.. BUT as long as he doesn't kiss the doghouse goodnight or put dog treats in it and talk to the dog's spirit, what's the harm? If you must have room, see if he will compromise: Keep the blanket and perhaps a board or shingle from the doghouse, and perhaps donate a couple bucks to a local animal shelter in the dog's name.

Its normal to keep tokens of your loved ones, and its easier to keep something belonging to a pet than a human (if he had the clothes his mother was wearing when she died, that would be srsly fucked up).

I have the harness, tags, and sweater of my dog Toby. He meant a lot more to me than pretty much anyone else in my life, and he had to be put to sleep. I would go batshit insane if my partner threw them out, because it's all I have left of my best friend.
>> Anonymous
>>178077
>I remember all the cats I have ever had the privilege of serving.

Kill yourself you fat fuck.
>> Anonymous
>>178102
>A dog house can't take up THAT much space and if he wants to keep it, you should let him.

First of all, you have no idea how big that dog was. Dog houses can be fucking gigantic when they are built for a large dog. Also, I would be inclined to believe that you either live at your parents' home or have always had shelter provided for you. Otherwise, you would know that living space is a very, very precious commodity when you are a young couple cramped into a tiny ass apartment.

But thanks for your uninformed suggestion anyway. It was helpful.
>> Anonymous
>>178024

I would suggest couples therapy so that you two can reach a compromise. Either way, it sounds like your fiance needs some kind of therapy to get over his dog dying. Yeah, everybody deals with grief in thier own way but keeping the doghouse with the clothes you wore that day seems really ... out of the ordinary
>> Anonymous
Damn. That is weird. Just... weird. My MOTHER died and all I kept was her wedding ring. And this was just a dumb animal (pets are NOT even CLOSE to equal to family members, I'm sorry, they aren't).

Are you sure about this guy? Seems kinda weak to me.
>> Anonymous
>>178024
You're a meddling cunt. Go burn your photo albums after henpeck and emmasculate him.
>> Anonymous
Does he cry out the dog's name at the height of passion with you? That'd be very weird.
Count your blessings that he only has a doghouse.
>> Anonymous
going to a 4chan forum with your personal issues doesn't exactly bode well for your relationship
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Hi.
This is Op's Fiance. 100% no joke. No lie, I can't prove it to you really. So just go with it.

The dog Died On December 24(Or rather thats when I found his 2 dimensional remains in the road), 2005 IDK WTF she is getting that 10 years crap.
It is not a big doghouse. It is 2ftx2.5ftx2ft I know because I made it myself. The day I found his remains it killed me. (In b4 an hero) He was my best friend in the entire world, He was more like a child to me,(this might be weird but if you have had pets you know how attached you can get) There was no way I was going anywhere near the remains because I just couldnt see him like that again. My stepfather eventually went and got what little remains were left and buried them in the spot under a tree he would lay when we were outside. He wasn't an "outside dog" he was a "Stay with me" dog, unfortunatley he got out while I was away, I suspect someone left the door open. anyway, he wondered off and died. once I made back to my house (still in distress) I removed the clothing I was wearing (everything socks and shoes too) and put them inside his doghouse, closed it, and packed it away. I will never throw this thing away, Op doesent understand and she is over reacting . Its a tiny doghouse that takes up virtually no space. It is out of sight at all times except occasionally when we pack, unpack, or move things. I hope that cleared some stuff up, and while OP is sleeping Feel free to ask me questions.
>> Anonymous
wtf is wrong with you, let the guy keep it you whore
it's like keeping a picture or gift from your dead parents/grandparents/love ones

fuck you again, that is all

ps: you are jealous of his dead dog, YOU GET OVER IT
>> Anonymous
Hi.
This is Op's Fiance. 100% no joke. No lie, I can't prove it to you really. So just go with it.

The dog Died On December 24(Or rather thats when I found his 2 dimensional remains in the road), 2005 IDK WTF she is getting that 10 years crap.
It is not a big doghouse. It is 2ftx2.5ftx2ft I know because I made it myself. The day I found his remains it killed me. (In b4 an hero) He was my best friend in the entire world, He was more like a child to me,(this might be weird but if you have had pets you know how attached you can get) There was no way I was going anywhere near the remains because I just couldnt see him like that again. My stepfather eventually went and got what little remains were left and buried them in the spot under a tree he would lay when we were outside. He wasn't an "outside dog" he was a "Stay with me" dog, unfortunatley he got out while I was away, I suspect someone left the door open. anyway, he wondered off and died. once I made back to my house (still in distress) I removed the clothing I was wearing (everything socks and shoes too) and put them inside his doghouse, closed it, and packed it away. I will never throw this thing away, Op doesent understand and she is over reacting . Its a tiny doghouse that takes up virtually no space. It is out of sight at all times except occasionally when we pack, unpack, or move things. I hope that cleared some stuff up, and while OP is sleeping Feel free to ask me questions.
>> Anonymous
>>178024
Your fiance is obviously a deeply disturbed individual. Run while you still can.

Seriously though, it seems that keeping the doghouse and the clothes and all has prevented him from coming into terms with losing his dog. In the long run, that kind of behavior is not healthy. He may eventually extend similiar behavior to other losses in his life, instead of coming up with more constructive coping strategies. He obviously needs support so he can take the first decisive steps, so a therapist might be a good idea.
>> Anonymous
So he lets you into his life and demand he gets rid of his happy memories?
>> Anonymous
ask someone who's convinced their spouse to get rid of an unwanted urn. they might have a trick
>> Anonymous
>>178121
even if you fucking hate your family?
>> Anonymous
First, get over it. Second, shut up.
>> Anonymous
>>178121
Uh. . . yeah they are. I mean, maybe not mother/father/sibling/child close, but frankly I cared a lot more about losing my last dog than losing my great aunt or grandfather (of course, my grandfather that died was an emotionally abusive cunt). You can't objectively determine sentimental value.
>> sage sage
>>178111
What would you do if your partner did in fact throw it away? Purposely, or accidently?
>> Anonymous
>>178122

No, she isn't. Having had an issue like the OP's fiance, the worst thing someone can do is hold on to the past like that. It took me 5 years to get over the death of a pet bird I had, and I kept its cage, its feathers, all sorts of shit I used to take care of it..

Worst thing I could have done. I had so much emotion attached to the stuff, that as long as it was around, it was like the bird was still there, and all the unfinished life it hadn't lived stood over me like an oppressive weight.

So the OP is doing one of the best things for her fiance that she could, albeit for selfish reasons.

tl;dr: Get over yourself. She's helping him.
>> Anonymous
seriously you're terrible, he loved that dog, it's something that gives him comfort and you're telling him to burn it or bury it? That is a very bad thing to do, sure I understand space is precious and all but it's something he hold dear to his heart. What are you gonna do next make him throw out all his belongings so you can make him your bitch?
>> anonymous of athens !SysNpnp3nU
it may seem irrational to you, but you can really place yourself in his position - I mean, however much we posture and say 'I understand' we cant really understand how anyone else is feeling, especially about a much loved, now dead pet.

Let him keep it.
>> Anonymous
sorry
>> Moo !XBOXgikTFw
Set it on fire
>> Anonymous
Gawd damn it, get rid of the crap already. Keeping the bloody doghouse or the macabre clothing kit within won't ever bring the dog back, nor will it make the dog-spirit happy or something.

Plus, it's fucking creepy. It reminds me of fucked up bitches who post ultrasounds of miscarried foetuses, and go on about what an angel (name picked out for blob) was, etc etc.

Whatever the fuck OP's fiance is doing, it's not "coping", it's hanging on as tightly as possible to a great excuse to pretend why his life is so fucked up now. Oh, and possibly generating massive levels of self-pity on the side.

If you don't think you can get rid of the doghouse, walk out of the relationship, no matter how financially and emotionally difficult it is. He seriously sounds like the type to ignore you all your life, then upon your death, keep your wedding dress and his tux on the double bed and bitch and whine about how his life was never the same after you left.
>> Anonymous
OH MY GOD. My apartment is FULL, CHOCK FULL OF USELESS SHIT my boyfriend has collected. We got a new apartment with a second bedroom just so we could have more space and guess what? He fills it up with 10,000 computers we'll never use and golf accessories. He even took over MY closet in that room. You know what I do? Close the door and never look in that room. Out of sight out of mind, the moment his mess spills into the living room or other parts of the house we have it out.

For gods sake woman let him keep one freaking doghouse, christ.

Maybe, fiance, you would consider getting a new best friend dog? Not as a replacement, but maybe just a new friend? Then maybe, if you love it enough and are comfortable with the idea, you can use the doghouse for them?

just a thought
>> Anonymous
Dear op,
FUCK YOU! stop trying to change people and get back into the kitchen/bedroom, he obviously is still hurting from his loss learn to deal with it or gtfo
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>178219
If it was an accident I would beat her until my hands gave out. And then I'd call an ambulance and all would be forgiven.

If she did it on purpose I would kill her, and she knows it. I have a big dog, rats, and access to a swamp, just in case the first two can't get rid of the remains.
>> Anonymous
Congratulations, OP, you've identified your partner's biggest emotional weakness, and started to crank up the pressure. Make sure you bring up the subject when you feel he's at his most tired, or better still, introduce the issue into a disagreement about something else entirely.
My god, women are such fucking heartless bitches.
>> Anonymous
Jesus Christ! That guy had better be the best lay in the world, because the doghouse and clothes thing... that's just fucking creepy! If I lived with someone like that, I would spend my night in cold terror, waiting for the day when the guy finally freaks out and gouges my eyeballs out with a spoon or something. Just saying, the guy is not normal...
>> Anonymous
Don't expect a lot of helpful answers. While I think maybe your fiancee could use some serious help, and barring that, you might want to look into a new fiance, most of 4chan are sexist pigs who aren't usually very helpful.

But seriously? New fiance. This guy's got a screw loose.
>> sage sage
>>178860
lol wut? you're not gay anymoar?
>> Anonymous
>>178897
Think Will & Grace
>> Anonymous
>>178077
Agreed. Tell that to your fiance. I feel like it's probably healthier for him to let go. But at this point, that's going to be harder to do than ever because he's kept the doghouse for so long. Also, by asking him to do it, you're making yourself the enemy. Is there anyone in his family or a close friend you could tell this to who might support you? Good luck.
>> Anonymous
>>178845
Wow, what about all your useless shit i.e. shoes and clothes that you wore once and never again because you only wear new stuff or grew out of them? Eat shit and die whorebag.
>> Anonymous
Wouldn't you two have been living together in 2005? I'm assuming she probably even met the dog. Calling bullshit.

BUT IF THIS IS TRUE THEN HERE'S WHAT YOU DO...

If it's really not all that big you could keep it in a closet or a distant corner. That way it's still yours to look at and think about but it's not bothering your fiancee.

If that's not good enough then I suggest>>178147dump fiancee and get a new dog instead.

OP: While getting rid of the crap on his own terms might be a sign that he's willing to let go if you do it just because you're sick of looking at it he'll probably resent you and it'll ultimately damage the relationship. Let him have his memento if he's so attached to it, especially if it's his space the thing is cutting into. If it's still too much then maybe you should think about why the hell you care so much.
>> Anonymous
>>178862
Sounds to me like you've got some issues with women that have nothing to do with the OP's problem. Seriously, why would you even say something like that?

OP, you may want to suggest therapy if your fiance is having difficulty coping after 10 years. I personally don't see much harm in holding on to the doghouse, but if it really bothers you, then that's something you and your fiance may need to work out with a counselor.
>> Anonymous
>>178922
What does this comment have to do with ANYTHING? It is clear you hate women. Shut the fuck up about it.
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>178898
Except Karen and Jack are cats.


Everyone stores things. Everyone. I bet your mother still has your favorite blanket from when you are a kid, and you probably have Christmas cards from 20 years ago. Humans naturally keep things that they find important or that they might use later. Some are better at being selective, and give away or sell what they don't need.

Again, I say: Keep the blanket and perhaps a board or shingle from the doghouse, and perhaps donate a couple bucks to a local animal shelter in the dog's name. And therapy, possibly, because a doghouse is a bit much.
>> Anonymous
Why don't you just get another fucking dog and let it live in the dog house? I fail to see what the hell the big issue is, other than you're both crazy: Him for keeping a doghouse in the house, and you for getting engaged to him.
>> Anonymous
Jim art come back from dedz!!!
>> Anonymous
>>178024
Your fiance has serious problems of letting go. What pisses me off the most is that people don't know how to live on. Shit dies all the time. I would suggest you either hit him with a bat, or therapy. If you leave him you do know that he is going to keep a couple pair of your panties because he can't let go.

>>178147
If you are really the fiance then get a grip, man. He is not going to come back. Is that doghouse more important than your relationship or are you destined to come to 4chan after you have lost everything and cry on /b/?