File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
here's the situation, /an/. a FUCKING HUGE SPIDER is on my bed, where i was about to go to sleep. the weapons i have at disposal are a full can of hair spray and a long metal pole. what do i do.

pic related, i made this face.
>> Anonymous
Spiders are afraid of human faces. Rub your face all over the spider and it will run away to never bother you again.
>> Anonymous
I AM FUCKING FREAKING OUT HERE I SWEAR TO GOD IT IS ON MY FUCKING PILLOW MY HANDS ARE SHAKING
>> Anonymous
>>240558
Take a deep breath. There, does that feel good? Good.

Okay, now count to 3, and rub your face all over that spider! Go!
>> Anonymous
>>240560
I DONT THINK THAT WILL WORK
ITS ALMOST AS BIG AS MY FACE
AND I DONT HAVE A FREAKISHLY TINY FACE OR ANYTHING!
>> Anonymous
>>240556

I think you will have better luck with the metal pole.
>> Anonymous
>>240562
it's long though, and unstable!
and OH MY GOD IT'S SO FUCKING FAST IT JUST RAN ONTO ANOTHER PILLOW HOYL SHIT
>> Anonymous
Take the hair spray, stick in next to crotch, then jump in a fire.
>> Anonymous
This is a bad troll. It's hardly that poisonous, so just take a towel, wrap it into it and throw it outside.

I'm going to be mad if you maul an innocent spider. :(
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
okay, i sprayed him with about half the can of hairspray and now my room smells awful but i think i have immobilized the enemy for long enough to get a picture.

...he's bigger than he looks and OH GOD HE'S STILL MOVING WHAT DO I DO
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
THE DEED HAS BEEN DONE.
>> Anonymous
TITS OR GTFO
>> Anonymous
>>240573
i don't think spiders have tits, as they are not mammals.

as far as i know.
>> Anonymous
nice toilet paper you got there. enjoy your hand
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>240556
So you have a House Spider huh?
>> Anonymous
>>240577
almost ironically, i keep a roll of toilet paper in my room to pick up the occasional bug with to release outside. i tore off a piece when i saw the spider, but then arachnophobia took over and i was all like 'oh fuck this'
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>240578

I personally prefer House Centipedes...
>> Anonymous
Thats a pretty weak spider OP. An hero probably would have been a more productive use of your time.
>> Anonymous
>>240616

Seconded.
I bet this small thing could't even bite through your skin.
Grow some balls plz.

...mhh wait, don't grow them, so your genes will never be spread amongst humanity.
>> Anonymous
>>240558

MY HEART IS BEATING, MY HEART IS BEATING

MY HANDS ARE SHAKING, MY HANDS ARE SHAKING

BUT I'M STILL SHOOTING, AND I'M STILL GETTING THE HEADSHOTS LIKE BOOM HEADSHOT, BOOM HEADSHOT, BOOOOM HEADSHOT
>> Anonymous
>>240611
>>240578
Oh, you guys! :3
>> Anonymous
where do you live? how is that a "huge" spider?
>> Anonymous
>>240786
it shriveled up when i sprayed it.
and it was 2:30 am for gods sake