File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
I was on the computer and I see a GIANT spider over my closet, not a web spinner I can tell, but giant as fuck, and hairy, I don't give a shit because my house is COMPLETLY infested with spiders, and somehow hundreds of moths find there way in everyday so I let them be, and I let that big ol bastard be, next thing I know my foot feels that unmistakeable "You have a giant fucking spider on your foot right now, Are you concerned?" tingle. I was concerned, Bit down on the willies and waited for her to get off, then I went and got a glass and piece of cardboard to catch her and put her somewhere else, next thing I know, shes gone. So I give up and resume my Important computer business (Furious masterbation) next thing I know I get that unmistakeable "You have a giant spider crawling up your leg, You should probably put your dick away and deal with this" tingle. What the fuck is with this spider? is it stalking me? Is the spider confused and finds my Ultra hairy legs a sign that I shall be her magnificent spider king and our children shall rule the Royal spinneret for a thousand generations? These philosophic thoughts aside I quickly zip back up (But carfully, oh yes we have made that mistake before) before it tries to consumate our marriage, and wipe it off, It quickly retreats behind my bookcase, I decided that the computer chair was probably not the most happening place right now, and return to my gentlemanly persuits on my bed, next thing I know The spider has crawled up on my bed and is now making a Bee Line.. wait no a S-line for my legs, I finally manage to apprehend my spider stalker and put it on the other end of my house and decide sleep would probably be best. I slowly drift off to sleep. CONTINUED
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>317065
Shiiiiiiiit I forgot to put it in the last thread, it's 2 AM give me a break.

Moments before unconciousness hits me like a donkeypunch my face gives me that unmistakeable "HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S ON YOUR FUCKING FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!" tingle. I run through my house screaming at the top of my lungs swatting at my face with a towel, Then my back gives me that unmistakeable "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" tingle, so I rip my shirt off and sleep in my car.
>> Anonymous
I will not sleep tonight. You don't even have paralyzing arachnophobia. Thanks. :3
>> Anonymous
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
>> Liska !!LIVFOETqL8j
The funnest thing i've ever seen ?

Well i'm not exactly the neatest person in the world, so my mom always tells at me, tells me to clean my room, etc or it'll get infected with bugs. She of course keeps her room shiny clean, etc. So, one night she tells me this-extremely grumpy and leaves.

the next morning I wake up to find her cleaning out her room and ask her why - apparently a spider had made itself at home under a mug on her desk and laid an eggsack- she had HUNDREDS of spiders crawling all over her desk area and on the floor. it was hilarious !

She hasn't bothered me about my room since :)
>> Anonymous
>>317065
ya let them so they can bite your dumbass.
>> spiderman !!SsRNV3jTiv8
     File :-(, x)
>>317069
Hell yea! haha I'm pretty sure I had a few dozen baby jumping spiders (P. johnsoni) escape in my bedroom because they somehow fit through the "seal" of the lid.

This is what they look like, but the slings (spiderlings..not a real word..) are tiny as hell!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Time for another story... Okay so like I said my house is COMPLETLY infested with spiders, The window overlooking my shower has a big brown spider with about a thousand eggs that I don't have the heart to squash, so my bathroom has hundreds of tiny little spiders all over it, I was taking a crap and opened up my pack of baby wipes (If there is one thing you get from this story, it's that you should throw away all your paper wipes and get baby wipes they are a thousand times better) And wipe away, when I'm done I look at the wipes, and see a baby spider on the top one.


I don't know who had it worse, me or the possible spiders on there... Also in the bathroom, I just got done taking a shower so I was completly naked, and started shaving, I sat down on the edge of my tub (I'm 6'9 and it hurts my neck to bend down to look at the mirror) Next thing I know my leg has this strange tugging feeling, I look down and see this horrid long fanged little venom spider MAKING A FUCKING WEB ON THE ARCH OF MY THIGH AND CALF, HE WAS MAKING A WEEEEB ON MEEEEEEEEE! I screamed but kept my body perfectly still so he wouldn't bite me, I couldn't see him as he crawled into the crack of my thigh/calf, I was afraid he was going to drown on the water covering my Pubic regionlike Super leg hair and go bite fucking crazy, I eventually managed to get him when has putting a line down on the floor and ran out of the bathroom screaming, naked, covered in shaving cream, and my hair full of conditioner. I'm pretty sure the spider is the same species as the one that just got done making a few thousand eggs.


Yeah.
>> Anonymous
>>317083
clean your fucking house, jesus christ.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>317069
Whenever someone complains on how I can live in the squalor, complete with bands of roaming death spiders, I just let them know that the more disease and filth you are exposed to, the stronger your immune system becomes, so it's really healthy. Thats also why I eat my own boogers and pus.

Dear lord I love being filthy.
>> Anonymous
>>317086
See
>>317087
>> Liska !!LIVFOETqL8j
My room isn't THAT dirty, it isn't that filthy where the walls are black or anything like that, just some clothes on the floor. I don't get tons of bugs running around my room or anything like that
>> Liska !!LIVFOETqL8j
>>317083

sorry, i know this sounds means but i wish you would've videotaped that because it'd be funny to see.
>> Anonymous
>>317090
..maybe you should make it dirtier. Just pee on some bread and throw it in every corner of your room.
>> Liska !!LIVFOETqL8j
>>317092

nah, that's creepy. I'll just stick with the clothes all over the place
>> Anonymous
>>317091
What part of that sounds like I was both able and willing to grab a video recorder? Are you asking me to reenact it?
>> Liska !!LIVFOETqL8j
>>317094

You could make millions off of animal planets animal stars or something ! and actually, if you want to recreate it, sure- just post it in the 7chan men board :P Just kindly jar the spiders and move them outside before they stalk you?
>> Anonymous
>>317096
I don't think animal planet wants to see a 6'9 naked man covered in various hygenic creams running through a spider infested house screaming. But you are correct in assuming many others would...
>> Liska !!LIVFOETqL8j
>>317098

:x still be fun to watch !

Then again, i'm probably letting my girli-ness get in the way, so... never mind.
>> Anonymous
>>317083
Speaking of that, is there some type of pest that eats spiders?
>> Anonymous
I laughed so much reading this thread. I hate the tingly feeling on your skin after seeing a spider so much. I'm always like "is that it on my leg?" "is that it on my neck?" and of course it's not but it makes me incredibly paranoid and twitchy. I have quite a few spider stories I could ramble about but my most recent spider-related experience had me flinging my laptop to the floor and scrambling to the other side of the room because I thought I'd seen a spider crawl onto my computer screen. As it turned out, it was just an animated gif of a carousel... My eyes were just insanely tired due to no sleep for several days in a row and decided to play tricks on me.
>> Anonymous
A few years ago, I was in my bedroom on my computer. I didn't have a desk at the time, just a short table, so my computer was set up at the end of my bed. So I was laying down in the dark typing and clicking away when I felt something on the back of my left thigh. I ignored it since I have long hair that likes to catch the breeze from my fan and the loose ones float around sometimes. I felt it again, this time it felt like it was moving. I looked back...there was fucking spider crawling across my thighs. I couldn't tell if it was furry or what but all I knew was a decent sized spider was on me and I didn't like it. I held my breath till it crawled onto my bed then jumped up screaming and swatting at it with my mouse pad. I flipped on the lights and followed the bastard all around my room till he disappeared under some clothes. I didn't sleep in my room till 2 nights and a bug bomb later. What creeped me out the most was that the spider came from the side of my bed where the wall is, so who knows how long he'd been lurking there.
>> Liska !!LIVFOETqL8j
OH i just thought of another one; thank goodness i'm not afraid of spiders so i didn't really do anything to freak out, but i was driving my old car down the street one day about 3 years ago and all of a sudden a spider dropped down from the ceiling of the car (there were no webs or anything anywhere, had no idea how it even got in), wandered across the dashboard and went off into car oblivion somewhere. I have no idea where it came from.
>> Anonymous
>>317169

My friend totaled his car attempting to swap a spider that dropped down in front of his face. Needless to say, I think I'll try to keep calm if that ever happened.
>> Anonymous
FFFFFFUUUCK SPIDERS ARE DAMN SCARY , if I saw one in my house I would just go sleep in the streets
>> finfag !cMsqVR/LtM
I sometimes notice some moving before my eyes when laying on my bed. And always its a fuck huge harvestman. Its really scary.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
This is the worst one I've ever had in my house. I was walking around barefoot one day and almost stepped on it when going up the stairs. Fortunately I saw it in time (and consequently pretty much fell down the stairs), but it later scuttled off into the coat rack...........
>> Anonymous
>>317065
FUCKING SHIT FUCKING SHIT

I read up to, "Is there a fucking spider on my leg" and freaked.
>> Anonymous
It's fucking annoying, spiders are the only 'bug like' creature’s I’m afraid of, and even the tiny ones give me the creeps. The other day I 'rescued' a housemate from a massive beetle-like thing in the bathroom, picking it up and tossing it out no problem, yet still tiny spiders give me the creeps.
>> Anonymous
>>317107
Praying mantis

>>317249
Fuck. I'm glad I live in England, biggest we get are like 3/4 inches long, and they are very rare and aren't fury or anything.

When I was in Africa had this fucking mini tarantula climb onto the sofa I was sitting on.

Would like to squish one of those, but couldn't bare to have it crawling around my house either.
>> Anonymous
>>317252

same, although I'm not a fan of craneflies either.,

Love beetles, and when I was in Botswana I was taking a shower and noticed a praying mantis on the wall, ended up carting it around for a few hours, they are fascinating
>> Anonymous
>I decided that the computer chair was probably not the most happening place right now

I love the way you write
>> Anonymous
OP make me smile :)
>> Anonymous
I would have squashed the motherfucker in every one of these stories. Republicans are to muslims as my family is to spiders. A few weeks ago we found this huge hobo spider. like 2 quarters wide... very satisfying kill
>> Anonymous
>>317174
I've had a spider drop down in front of me while driving too, it's pretty fucking distracting but thankfully I was driving along a straight deserted road at the time
>> Anonymous
Spiders can freak me the fuck out. It's not that they're insects and might bite me or anything like that, it's mostly that they are fucking silent. I'll be blastin away playing games or surfin the net then look behind me and there's some omnipresent, eight eyed fucker sittin on the wall like a tiny ninja and it's just sinister knowing that it could get right behind me without me having any idea. How long has that creepy bastard been there? Where did he come from? Are there more? Worst part is that once I remember they exist I keep getting phantom tingles on my skin and I overreact thinking the spider is creeping up on me and make a spazz out of myself.
>> SlowMope
>>317313
hobos deserve to die. they are horrible aggressive fuckers who are out to get you. we get a fuck ton in idaho.
other spiders on the other hand really should be left alone, they eat the really nasty bugs around the house.


but yeah. hobos can pretty much go fuck themselves.
>> finfag !cMsqVR/LtM
     File :-(, x)
I woke up with a harvestman walking up my arm. This is the third time I woke up to a spider walking on me while laying on bed.
>> Anonymous
IT'S FUCKING BIG YOU CAN SEE ITS LIFE BAR
>> Anonymous
Reading this thread made me itchy.
I can't stand any spiders in the house, but feel mean killing them, they just want a place to live, so we got a spider catcher, it's like a brush on the end of a stick, you press a trigger and the brush opens, let go and close it round the scary bugger then drop it out the window.

The other week I was minding my own business on the sofa, chatting to grandparents, when one galloped across the arm next to me, I sprang up and instinctively screamed "BLOODY HELL" and my grandparents just looked puzzled.
I made them go get a glass and some card to rescue me. it was at least an inch across, thats far too big.

Another time I saw one dragging a dead cranefly across the floor and eat it in the corner. that fucked me up. I hate both those insects.
>> Anonymous
>>317820
isn't this also called a daddy long legs? We used to have those all over our neighborhood but not any more for sum reason :/


>>317850
my brother hates crane flies but i really don't mind them. I think it's funny when they run into walls, cabinets, etc. You totally should have squashed the spider when it was eating the crane fly b/c now it will be a lot bigger.
>> Anonymous
>>317820

FFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKK
>> Anonymous
>>317873
some people call it a daddy long legs, but belive it or not that's not actually its name
>> Liska !!LIVFOETqL8j
>>317820

OH that's what those things are! I saw one in the woods behind the house I was visiting a month ago, took a quick shot of it, then that was it. Interesting !
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>317820

WTF is that?! Fuck's sake that thing is unlike anything I've seen apart from sci-fi and that horrible demon that kills Judeau in Berserk
>> Anonymous
>>317907
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
>> Liska !!LIVFOETqL8j
     File :-(, x)
what kinda spider is this?
>> Anonymous
>>317820

technically not spiders.
>> Anonymous
>>317968
In before brown recluse
>> finfag !cMsqVR/LtM
What Ive heard that harvestman/daddy long legs are attracted to white color, I think its time I change my sheets.
>> Anonymous
well, I don't frequent /an/ that often, but this thread reminded me of something that actually happened a few days ago

I was working on this homework assignment in my room when I suddenly heard this rustling noise. I thought it was coming from outside since it was a bit stormy that day. I look to the corner of my room and there's a moth stuck on an invisible thread, and it's struggling to remove itself. All the while, a small (maybe about a cm big) spider is crawling up and down the line, waiting for the moth to lose all its energy. After about 20 minutes, the moth starts to give in, and I watch the spider dig its fangs into it. It kinda just latched onto it until it stopped moving, and then it was there for a few hours. The next day I saw that it had hidden it's catch behind a box. Today it's nowhere to be found, though I think I saw a similar spider on my stairs a few days ago...

no pics though, I have no camera and I don't think I can identify either of the animals
>> spiderman !!SsRNV3jTiv8
     File :-(, x)
>>317968
Looks like another harvestman...which aren't spiders. :P You can tell because spiders have two distinct sections of their body. The prosoma and opisthosoma or cephalothorax and abdomen. They join in a narrow connection and the harvestman have a really broad joining of the two parts of the body. I'm sure there are some other differences..they don't produce silk or venom.

I honestly don't know a lot about them, but they look cool.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I have spiders like that in my shop. There's tons of them everywhere, big black K. hibernalis spiders. I just let them be. they stay put and don't eat wood, and I haven't seen roaches in there in forever. I hate roaches to the point that I'll let huge black spiders take over everything.

Pic related, I took it next to my anvil. Note the penny.
>> Anonymous
>>317065
>and somehow hundreds of moths find there way in

I wish I had a house like this :>
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Great spider thread. Here are my thoughts/ experiences.

Harvestmen/Daddy Long Legs are FUCKING AWESOME, even if they are the hurr durr cousins of real spiders. Grew up in East Texas and the place was lousy with them, though I seem to remember them being seasonal to some degree. Jumping spiders are also awesome, though to a slightly lesser degree.

Was sittint downstairs in my uncle's house one day, central Texas hill country this time. Hear a "thunk, thunk" sound and turn to look out the glass doors leading to the patio. A giant wasp is banging clumsily into the glass. I am fucking scared of wasps and this one is bright blue, huge and clearly mean-tempered. Eventually it wanders off and my attention wanders. Maybe fifteen minutes later I catch a tiny flash of movement out of the corner of my eye, turn to look out the doors again. The wasp is walking backwards across the patio, dragging a huge paralyzed tarantula after it. It's a fucking tarantula hawk. I wait for it get some distance from the doors, then go outside and follow it. Ugly sumbitch carts the tarantula 3/4s of the way around the house before dragging it into a crevice in the foundation. Ugh.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Worst spider to ever get near my house...
>> Anonymous
ugh..i live in the boonies of Ohio and get huge spiders on occasion.
Worst one was in my bedroom hiding in a small box. I was getting out said small box and a huge ass spider as big as my hand jumped out at me. I ran screaming from my room and begged my Dad to go kill it. He said if I wanted it killed to do it myself. ;_;
Soo..I went and grabbed one of my Mom's crutches and squished him from a safe distance. Lucky for me his smooshed body stayed on the end of the crutch so I took him out to the grass and wiped him off. I was pretty satisfied with myself until Dad said "Hope it didn't have any babies."
Needless to say I slept out on the couch that night.
>> Anonymous
OP, the way you write brings me great joy. And to contribute a story to this thread of terror, I bring you: One time when I was little me and my brother were sitting outside near the wall of our house. A huge harvestman fell from the roof (I'm assuming) and landed on my brother's head and proceeded to crawl right onto the middle of his face and STAY THERE. He was screaming and crying but too afraid to touch it to brush it off so it just stayed there on his face for like forever. And I was screaming and crying too and then I just ran as far away from him as I could and left him there. When I came back, it was gone though... I'm a horrible older sibling haha.
>> Anonymous
I let spiders crawl on me. Am I fucked up?
>> spiderman !!SsRNV3jTiv8
     File :-(, x)
>>318179
No.
>> Anonymous
>>318126
Once again, Harvestmen aren't spiders.
>> Liska !!LIVFOETqL8j
>>318013

but they look like spiders :(
>> Anonymous
No matter how clean your place is, spiders always find you. Best story I can give is cracking my head open from an airborne spider attack. Was browsing on my computer when I noticed something floating in the air. Reached over, turned my lamp on, only to see it was a decent sized spider swinging it's way towards my face. First instinct? Blow at it really hard so it'll go away. Good idea in concept, poor idea in execution-- as I was fighting against the air vent blowing the spider right back towards MY FACE. So I do the natural thing (scream!), push away from my desk to flee, only to have my chair wheels lock up on the carpet and my ass go crashing backwards into a piece of furniture. 8 stitches and one VERY amused ER nurse later, I get home to see the kamikaze spider chilling on the wall next to my desk. I never go out of my way to kill insects, but I ended up putting a dent in the wall to ensure the little fucker was dead.

Thanks to this thread, I've looked up probably 3 times now to check for the return of the 83rd Airborne Spider Cavalry. Thanks, /an/.
>> Anonymous
...that's a golden orb weaver

you'll die if it bites you
>> Anonymous
>>317820
We have those daddy long legs bastards everywhere in New Zealand.
Fact: They have the most poisonous venom of any spider (dont care if it isn't a spider), but their teeth are too gimpy to pierce human flesh
>> Anonymous
>>318360

If it's a fact, then please state your sources. 'Everybody' knows that Daddy Long Legs are highly venomous, but 'everybody' declines to site actual studies.
>> Anonymous
>>318369

YHBT. Well, maybe you're a troll too, I can't tell.
>> Anonymous
>>318276
I lol'd very, very hard.
>> Geddy Lee! !!P1xwAkG8In+
>>318360
they actually tested the "daddy long legs are the most posionous spider but can't bite people' myth on mythbusters and it was "busted...
turns out not only is a daddy long legs venom less powerful then that of a black widow, but they actually can bite people as well.

http://mythbustersresults.com/episode13
>> Anonymous
>>318623
Mythbusters tested Pholcidae spiders, which are also commonly called "daddy long legs", not Opiliones.

The myth is the same for Opiliones but unlike Pholcidae spiders they don't even have fangs.
>> Anonymous
>>318623
protip:

mythbusters have "busted" scientifically PROVEN "myths"

like resonance frequency (science doesn't apply to old men who only have experience in sfx you know)

don't believe the bullshit they feed you
>> Anonymous
>>318639
So you're saying they're wrong about Pholcidae spiders and that they are, in fact, extremely venomous? Based on what?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
OP here, Just got my computer upgraded so I have been gone for the last 3 days. Glad to see people enjoyed my story. Here are a few new ones but not as good as the first. My house is absolutly SWARMED with daddy long legs, but I don't care because they don't even register as spiders to me, they are just like flightless crane flys (Which I find scarier because they are so fucking big and fly right into your fucking face what the fuck?) I even had a pet one that crawled onto my desk and stayed there for a few weeks, I would even catch tiny little fruit flies with my thumb and forfinger and feed him with them, he was awesomee he loved to stay in an old plastic cookie sleeve. I loved that spider... Another story was when I was really young, and very afraid of spiders. It was late and I was on the computer, little did I know that would grow to be the best, and only way to describe my life.. But anyway, there was a giant spider terrorizing me, it kept popping up here and there, I was about to leave the room and sleep on the couch when my cat comes in and starts hunting for the spider in my scrunched up blanket, I see the spider sneaking around my cat and making a Spider line for under a desk, but I ain't having none of his shit, so I throw a taco bell sauce packet at my cats ass, he turns around to glare at me, sees the spider, and eats the fucker. I felt such a spirit of teamwork and pride at that moment that I don't regret ever playing a single sport ever. Not at all.... Nope..

Here is the devourer of spiders Mewmew.
>> Anonymous
Daddy Longlegs/Harvestment are not venomous. Them's the facts.

Also, for the curious, something is venomous if it can bite or sting you, injecting venom into your bloodstream. Something is poisonous if ingesting it fucks you up. An important distinction.
>> Anonymous
Hey folks, great thread with a bit of my research subject.

Im a neurological researcher, and here at the Uni we've been testing the increase on neural response when exposed to visual, sonic or even mental stimuli.

I wont get into details, but basically when you read up on spider stories like this, or see spider pictures, your body 'readies' itself, thinking that there is a spider in the vicinity.

Every synaptic reaction related to pressure simply skyrockets, and you became aware of things as simple as a hair out of place and applying the slightest bit of pressure on another one, or your skin.

So in short, thats why you get itchy when you see spiders or any animal/thing that you consider threatening, its just your body at its sensitive peak!
>> Anonymous
>>318879
We truely are the best board. Seriously.
>> Anonymous
>>318879
ok science boy how the fuck do i stop it?
>> Anonymous
>>318883

Former arachnophobe here: keep a couple spiders as pets and observe their behaviors, maybe let them walk on you. I used jumping spiders and a tarantula to get rid of my fear and have none of the said reaction. Exposure is the best way to get rid of your fear.

But, this leads down a path of addiction in some cases. I've increased my single tarantula to 34 of them, plus a shitload of other invertebrates.
>> spiderman !!SsRNV3jTiv8
     File :-(, x)
>>318255
They're related and are arachnids but they split off from spiders at the order level and are more closely related to scorpions actually.
>> Anonymous
>>318639
they got a fucking spider to bite them, then sent the venom to a lab.
it's not like they tested it themselves.
and you can clearly see the spider bite happen in the show.
>> Anonymous
Worst thing I've ever had was a common house spider sneaking up on me when I was sleeping on the cough as it was too hot for bed. Being the arachnophobe that I am, I was frozen and kept track of it frantically. Eventually I got up and got myself a huge fucking book on nature to squash the thing, but then I found I couldn't bring myself to go within a radius of five feet of the thing in fear I'd see any details (bad eyesight but no glasses).
So the next hour I was standing there un my underwear, carrying a giant book, not knowing whether to lie down, try to crush it, flee, or cry myself to sleep.
Eventually it started walking again and made its way down to the floor, where it ran surprisingly quickly into a corner and vanished behind the furniture. I could actually hear it's little feet rattle on the laminate floor.