File :-(, x, )
God
What would you do to stop a tiger if it attacked you? I heard putting it in a choke hold will work.
>> Anonymous
no. it wouldnt
>> Anonymous
If a tiger attacks you, you're dead. I don't care how tough you think you are, you're dead.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
if you're caught unarmed by a tiger and it tries to attack you it's possible to just punch it's face every time it tries to move towards you. it won't learn and so will keep doing the same thing. you won't be able to kill it but will be able to stay alive long enough to shout for someone to come out with a gun
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
what if you were wearing a suit of armor? Or one of those chain mail shark suits?
>> Anonymous
Can you play dead with a tiger?
>> Anonymous
>>211961
i haven't heard that before but it sounds feasible.

the best way though, is to just run away. the tiger's first instinct is to pounce on you so while it's crouching down you can just run and the time it takes it to crouch down will give you a headstart
>> Anonymous
>>211947
You're right. It doesn't matter how tough I think _I_ am, but I know for a fact that Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel, and>>211961can do it.
>> Anonymous
If a tiger wants to kill you, it's gonna kill you. It's jaws will tear out your juggulars even if you shoot it.
>> Anonymous
You would die unless you happened to be carrying a very large caliber handgun and knew what to do with it.

I'm curious if a knight in full plate armor would do okay though. You'd have to be completely covered because the tiger would take you down and go for your throat, and if there was only chain mail there it'd just crush it.
>> Anonymous
>>211998
no one tares out my jugglers!
but anyway a tiger attacks from behind while hidden, you wont get a chance to do anything. If you did get the chance you got to go for the face and eyes, i recon plunging your thumbs into its eyes would put the wind up the bastard!!
>> Anonymous
>>211998
Tigers kill through suffocation, not by ripping your throat to pieces. Though it might unintentionally do just that while it's trying to suffocate you by grasping your windpipe.
>> Anonymous
Odds are, you're dead. But I play by the rules that if I am ever overpowered by an animal, I am going to be the toughest motherfucking meal it will ever eat.

I'm serious. I am taking at least an eye with me. At least.
>> Anonymous
>>211961
>>212011
Thinking they are faster than tigers... Just no
It will either leap at you and bite your head off. Or if its walking up to you and you try to swipe it, it will just slap your arm to pieces with ZOMG HUEG CLAWS WITH SHARP NAILS FUCK
>> Anonymous
>>212017
Tigers hunt by using stealth. What makes you think you'd have time to react?

So you do have time to react, what will you do? Try to find a stick or a rock on the ground? Shit your pants? I doubt you'd even get a punch off.

A tiger will fuck your shit up, you have no chance.
>> Anonymous
>>212019

It doesn't just pounce on you and you're instantly dead. Sure, it'll come within seconds if it really wanted to kill you, more likely with a bone breaking swipe of the paw than a direct bite or constriction, but those few moments maybe enough to get a straight thought in if you're incredibly lucky.
>> Anonymous
I could beat up a tiger easily, I know karate.
>> Anonymous
Tigers generally attack from the rear. This is why game wardens in India wear special shoulder armor with spikes to protect the neck and houlders. Obviously this is only to keep the tiger from killing them while they scream for help. If you think you can do shit lying on your face with a 500 lb giant cat on top of you, you're dreaming.
>> Anonymous
>>211967

haha oh wow

running just encourages the tiger to eat you. You won't get a head start by running, since the tiger, after crouching, will simply leap the distance you have run onto your back.
>> Anonymous
>>212020

>more likely with a bone breaking swipe of the paw than a direct bite or constriction

ahaha what are you, some fat fuck who plays D&D too much? Tigers don't kill their prey by swiping at them, they just use them to trip you up when you're running away. Once the tiger gets on top of you it will get its mouth around your neck before you hit the ground, and then break it.
>> Anonymous
I would find something sharp or at least some pointy stick to wound it's eyes.
>> Anonymous
There is NO way to defeat a tiger without a gun. It will fucking kill you.
>> Anonymous
OP, try a choke-hold when you fight one.
>> Anonymous
I think a choke-hold might work. All mammals die if you crush their neck, why would a tiger be any different?
>> Anonymous
>>212093
because it weighs many times as much as you, is ridiculously stronger, has a ton of muscle and fur around it's neck, and has claws and teeth that will kill you long before you get it in a chokehold.
>> Anonymous
If it really wanted to kill you I don't think you could stop it if you were unarmed. I guess the key is to not annoy it in the first place.

You could try standing up straight and waving your arms and shouting at it, that might confuse or frighten it.
>> Anonymous
I've heard that if you shove your hand far down it's throat it will activate it's gag-reflex and it will vomit and be too sick to kill you.
>> Anonymous
>>212099
...
That is the STUPIDEST thing I have EVER heard. And I hear a LOT of stupid things.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>212071
>> Anonymous
A strange thing that works with lions is that if you see them while they are still stalking you, you can just stare them down. That's right, just look at them directly in the eyes, and they'll get confused and stop stalking you. This of course takes a lot of guts and only seems to work if you don't show signs of fear. (Learned this from one of those Adamson lion books, maybe the one about Elsa.)
>> Anonymous
>>212113
Nope.
>> Anonymous
>>212114
Tiger: RAWR I STALK U
Anonymous: * stare*
Tiger: >:-O * flees*

Suuuuuuure.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>212116
>> Anonymous
>>212120
No you are a cat.
>> Anonymous
>>212125
-_-
>> Anonymous
>>212127
:3
>> Anonymous
>>212099
uhh thats not why you're supposed to stick your hand down its throat dumbass.

In the very unlikely event that you're able to put together a solid thought while being attacked, you're supposed to shove your fist down its throat activating the gag reflex, and it'll stop biting and try to get your hand out of its mouth, thus keeping it from biting you. But in the long run that probably wont help.
>> Anonymous
>>212131
I'm still not sticking my goddamn hand into a tiger's mouth!
>> Anonymous
>>212116
I never said it works on tigers, did I?
>> Anonymous
>>212097
Your thinking Pumas/Cougars...
>> Anonymous
>>212141
Pumas and Cougars, ffs. I shit them. I meant that if you made yourself look bigger than the tiger and made some noise it's convince the tiger to just leave you alone because you're not acting like a prey animal.
>> Anonymous
>>212146
wouldnt work
>> Anonymous
I like cats.
>> Anonymous
>>212163
So do I, but only the kind I could beat to death with a baseball bat if necessary. Tigers are just fucking scary.
>> Anonymous
You're ignoring something important: what is motivating the tiger to attack you? Is it a man-eater, in which case it will it knows what to expect from a human? Is it just hungry and desperate, yet with no experience of humans, looking for a meal? Is it cornered and defensive, trying to get away from you? Or is it protecting its litter and ready to do anything to keep you away? This may seem trivial at first, but actually affects the tiger's behavior in many ways.
>> Anonymous
>>212177
yes, it does affect the tiger's behaviour. But not enough that you'd be able to kill it with your bare hands, or even just outrun it.
>> Anonymous
>>212168
Fail.
>> Anonymous
>>212114
Better yet, show it a mirror. It'll quickly run to the nearest car.
>> Anonymous
>>212032

It's true, they usually break the neck by biting and twisting. But humans aren't as tough as their average prey. A swipe from a tiger can easily break ribs, or worse, knock you unconscious. I think that would more likely be the cause of your death, because human necks are small and weedy compared to most quadrapeds, and I'd imagine it would be somewhat awkward to get a massive tiger mouth in the right position to effectively snap your neck in the way it normally would.
>> Anonymous
>>212177

Yeah, as brought up earlier, if it were to stalk you and jump you in the right way, you wouldn't have a second thought before being mangled. The way the question was phrased I sort of assumed that the human and tiger were equally aware of eachother, so possibly a territory thing?
>> Anonymous
>>212232

That is to say, an accidental swipe. Note I'm not making out as though it's a tigers primary way of killing. Not an intentional one. What I'm saying is humans are very differently proportioned and postured. We move in a very unusual way in terms of animals.

I'm just thinking that a struggling human would probably be most injured from taking the brunt of the tigers weight through a paw, or maybe its clasp, before it decided to bite.
>> Anonymous
So would Weegee be able to stare down a lion and freak it the fuck out?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
I DUNNO LOL
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
A tiger recently killed a woman by swatting at her with his paws. The claws ripped through her leg and tore an artery.

http://www.thestar.com/printArticle/213023
>> Anonymous
>>212146

Pumas and cougars are the same animal. :3
>> Anonymous
>>212071

Unarmed, no. But I recon since the Masai used to hunt lions with spears it probably should be possible to do something similar with tigers.
>> Lion vs. Tiger?? nin
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>212316
Is that going to result in a liger or a ligon?
>> Anonymous
>>212392
Tigon?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
>>212402

at first i thought the guy was gonna get mauled
and then I was like AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
>> Anonymous
>>212402

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

i would shit myself though. Seriously though, the thing you should do in any wild animal attack is walk slowly backwards, if you see one and it hasn't attacked you, and is threatening you. If it is attacking you, shout, scream, throw rocks and make lots of noise to sound bigger than you are. Punch its face and scratch at its eyes, bite back etc.
>> Anonymous
>>212406
you wouldnt live that long
>> Anonymous
>>212413

People don't just instantly die, what is with this idea? I'd bet in most situations there would be a struggle.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
there is NOTHING you can do.
>> Anonymous
>>212445
not if you're fighting a tiger
>> Anonymous
spear hand to the throat...that's what...
>> Anonymous
Tigers don't have a very good vision. I'd just move to it's side and it wouldn't know where I was.
>> Anonymous
>>212558
wrong
>> Anonymous
>>212316

Liger

>>212392

Tigon

It is all based on what species the farther is.
>> Anonymous
I read somewhere you can outrun crocodiles if you run in zig-zags

but this is a tiger thread
>> Anonymous
>>212093
good sir, you made me laugh. thank you.
>> Anonymous
I'd just pray
>> Anonymous
>>212755
real suggestions only plz
>> Anonymous
Roll up in the fetal position and try not to piss it off or make it hungry.
>> Anonymous
you gouge it in its eyes.
>> Anonymous
>>212898
good luck with that
>> Anonymous
>>212903
Thanks
>> Anonymous
I'd strike up a conversation on the morality of killing other animals for food, then take advantage of its confusion to get in a few hits to the eyes and throat.
>> Anonymous
A lion handler said to push it's cheek in, so it's between the jaws, and it won't bite.

You're still fucked by the claws, though.
>> Anonymous
>>212558
complete nutjob
>> Anonymous
>>212920
I figure I could strike up a conversation with it over the weather, and then invite it out for tea. Eventually, we'd meet every week to play bridge and discuss cricket.
>> Anonymous
>>213054
what if it fucking kills you?
>> Anonymous
>>212973
...hmmm... that would take nerves of steel and ninja reaction/accuracy
>> Anonymous
guys just uh pick up a stick and poke the cat's stomach its the weak spot
>> Anonymous
>>213206yeah thats pretty easy to do while your face is being ripped off and besides, tigers aren't dumb
>> Anonymous
>>213209
do it while the tiger is launching at you it'll land on the stick
>> Anonymous
/r/ link of lion video, where it has a man caught, inside a cage and isn't letting go - then they get a gun and shoot it.

This should solve OP's dilemma
>> Anonymous
rawr
>> Anonymous
>>211961
Fuck a hand gun. I'd hit with a 12 gauge and it kept approaching fire the second shell right in its face from 10 feet away
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
This is a good thread. I don't think I'll ever go to /b/ again.

I'd bring out my Dell laptop and show the tiger some kawaii cat macros. It would get confused and ask me how to work the internet.
>> Anonymous
Hope it chokes on my backpack or something. Otherwise die. They kill and eat crocs you morons, you cant strangle, punch, or gouge a fucking tiger.
And you can't outrun a tiger. It's even doubtful that a gun would help, since you'd have to hit and kill it the second it attacks you. And if it is planing to attack you, you won't hear it.
Though if it has cubs, you can probably try and head in the opposite direction.