File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
So for the third day in a row I was attacked by magpies and forced to go to another bus stop to catch my bus, only this time the magpies swooped me as soon as I was in sight of the bus stop. Is there anyway I can stop them from attacking me, or am I going to have to walk an extra 20 minutes every day?

Also, magpie attack stories thread.
>> Anonymous
Bring a tennis racquet with you.
You don't have to kill it or knock it for six, but if it comes swooping just bump it away. It'll get the idea soon enough.

Magpies sure are bitches.
>> Anonymous
Swing for the fences.
>> Anonymous
Umbrella. Seriously.
>> Anonymous
australia, defeated by a small bird!
>> Anonymous
>>339197


They're a bit larger than you think.
>> Anonymous
>>339159
I have never been, or heard of anyone being attacked by magpies, you must really be a victim.
>> Anonymous
>>339201


You're obviously not an Australian and you're obviously never even visited during springtime.

Seriously, OP, I can relate. I was attacked by a magpie when I was six- the bastard thing actually sat on my head and pecked at my eyes- and it took me a long time to get over the mortal fear of the vicious sods. You can't ignore it either; mostly magpies will just you a nasty rap and leave it but they have been known to do some serious facial damage. Someone suggested an umbrella which is a good idea, and I suggest sunglasses as well, one of the large and hideous types. Walk very, very slowly, do not look up, if you act non threatening sometimes they'll leave you alone. Sometimes, that is. Magpies will only stop swooping if the nest is removed or the chicks have fledged. You're just going to have to live with it or get used to the longer walk. At least it'll let it'll be healthier for you. You could also try ringing the local council and bitching about it. If there have been enough complaints about a particularly vicious pair they'll sometimes remove the nest.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
i got attacked every day when i rode my bike to uni

just man the fuck up and deal with it, try hit the cunts mid-air if you can.
>> Anonymous
Canadian magpies, on the other hand, only follow you because they think you might have food
>> Anonymous
>magpie attack stories
when i was 3 or 4, i decided to copy something i saw on sesame street. Involved an animated skit of a robot typing machine thing barking at a bird, in the manner of 'Woof Woof, hehehehe, Woof'.

I did the exact same thing, Magpie swooped at me and got onto my head, scratching me with its claws, and fluttering around me.
My dad ran over and managed to scare it off.

Years later, when i thought about the whole thing, i realised in the animated skit, the robot thing got swooped by a bird (or at least that's how my memory remembers it now). Because of that i wondered why i didn't think i'd be swooped by a bird.
>> Anonymous
>>339203
Op here. I was lucky enough to have a jacket on at the time with a hood on it, so I pulled that over my head, and stuck my hand on top of my head, in between my hair and the hood. They only managed to hit me twice, when I thought they had gone. It didn't hurt at all, as they only just scraped me slightly with their claws.. talons? It just scared the fuck out of me.

Oh also, I was walking to where a bunch of buildings were to get away, head down, with hood on and two fucking magpies swooping about when some ass drives past and bursts out laughing like he had just seen a funniest home video moment. Fuck him.
>> Anonymous
>>339238
Oh also, I think I've developed a fear. Every time I see a birds shadow on the ground, I get freaked the fuck out. Also, I crossed the street to avoid a magpie sitting on a power line.
>> Anonymous
Holy shit OP, you are a pussy. Why don't you man the fuck up and punch the bastards out of the air. A man should not be afraid of any bird that size that isn't a raptor.