File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
So my insane mother found a bird outside which she believes to have a "broken wing." Rather than be a responsible, normal human being and either a)leave it be b)take it into an injured wildlife clinic, she decided to be her usual white trash self, put it in a box, and bring it into our house. She says she'll, "keep it till it heals," yet has no experience with veterinary medicine or anything similar at all.

I tried to explain to her it could be carrying disease and keeping the animal like that is not good for the bird itself. Of course she didn't listen, so now we've got this disease bag sitting in our bathroom.

So tell me /an/: what is a good way to quickly kill it without her noticing that it was killed by an outside source? If I snap its neck or burn it or something she'll obviously know it didn't die naturally by itself and she'll be all pissed. So how do I kill it then /an/?
>> Anonymous
just try to take care of it. It'll die, don't worry.
>> Anonymous
why don't you take it in the box to an injured wildlife clinic?
no sense in killing it.
>> Anonymous
Say a hawk came and ate it
>> Sagacious
Two things. It healed and "flew away". Or two, alcohol poisoning.
>> Anonymous
It's a European Starling. An animal rescue place won't take it cuz they consider it an invasive species. They eat worms, not bread. Also, the fledglings spend a few days on the ground before they are able to fly.
http://www.starlingtalk.com/
>> Anonymous
Put the bird back outside where it belongs, then tell your mother to shut the hell up. What's she going to do, ground you?
>> Anonymous
>>279511

Some how, I don't doubt that OP will get grounded. OP is probably 16 or lying about the ticket.
>> Anonymous
christ.

Op is as fucking retarded as Op's mother.
>> Eponymous
Well what about ignoring the fuck out of it and not getting infected.
>> Anonymous
putsome soap and honey in the water. POISON.
stupid little bird.
>> Anonymous
>>279710
nice detective work, anon.

mods, ban OP for wasting everyone's time.
>> Anonymous
how about snapping your own neck, OP.
>> Anonymous
>>279717

Are you serious? This is a great hoax! It's believable, successfull and rips the shit out of the people who keep rescuing feral species and have utterly no idea of how to look after them. Hats off to OP, this was very well done. It's so much of an improvement on the usual troll threads with beastility etc. It's a hell of a lot better than any of the /w/ trolls could come up with.
>> Anonymous
>>279721
If you think this hasn't ever been done before, you really haven't been on /an/ long enough.
>> Anonymous
>>279727

Oh, there's no doubt about that. I never said it was original. But it's still entertaining and the most entertaining things are the butthurt idiots screaming about the fact that they've been had.
>> Anonymous
HAHA GREAT HAOX

I TOTALLY BELIEVED IT
>> Anonymous
If you want to kill it, you might as release it.. at least then you won't see it, and it has somewhat of a chance of surviving, and if not? Well, food for others.
>> Anonymous
My mom does that. Don't hate your mom, moms do it cause the birds remind them of us. Funny thing too, this morning my cats brought in a baby bird and it was hopping around the house all day. I just captured in a box and released it in far away from the house.