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Anonymous
I will dress in several layers, leather gloves and trench, and cover my face with a veil of plastic wrap with pin-sized breathing holes. I will then approach the hive quietly and set off numerous smoke bombs. In case you have no experience with them, these are the kind you see around the 4th of July in the US - they produce a ton of colored smoke but very little noise.
In theory, the smoke should calm the bees. I experimented with a cigarette earlier and they seemed to, well, not keep away from me, but to move differently around me, and they did not sting.
Once the bees are fully sedated, my plan is to knock the hive from its perch onto the ground. In theory, this will disorient them and prevent a great deal of them from returning to it.
I am not sure what to use to knock it down. It needs to be a heavy object, but one that can be easily thrown from a great distance. There are rocks available but experimentation has told me that I cannot throw them terribly far. I have a copy of Kant's Critique of Pure Reason from a couple of semesters ago - it's HUGE and really heavy, and I hate the damn thing almost as much as I hate the bees. I was thinking of using that to knock their little place down.
Once the hive falls, I'm assuming they will swarm and my experience with cross-country running will come in handy. I figured I would run back to my dorm and wait several hours, then cautiously approach the area to see what has happened.
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