File :-(, x, )
Dealing with a cat in heat Anonymous
Equipment:
1 cat in heat, 1 Q-tip
Procedure:
Grab wailing, squirming cat and place it on your lap with its hind quarters readily accessible. Chances are the cat will freely offer them, if not the first time this procedure is followed, then certainly each time afterward.
Insert the Q-tip into the cat's VAGINA. It will be exposed and puffy. Do not insert the Q-tip into the other orifice. Either way the cat will begin to scream, but there is a subtle and audible difference in the scream of satisfaction and the scream of rectal pain. Experiment a little until you can distinguish the two.
Move the Q-tip in and out of the cat's VAGINA slowly at first, then more rapidly. No need to be gentle, no matter what you do with the Q-tip it beats a barbed cat PENIS digging around in there.
You are finished when the cat is finished. You will know when the cat is finished because it will either begin immediately to have a cat orgasm, or it will run away with the Q-tip sticking out of its ass. If this happens let it enjoy itself for a few minutes before attempting to retrieve your Q-tip.
* That is it, you are done. Enjoy the peace and quiet until the cat flares up again.
>> Anonymous
What to look for: The cat orgasm that follows this procedure is something the likes of which I have never seen elsewhere. It is a wriggling, leaping, moaning dance of ecstasy that defies any experience of pleasure my mind can even begin to grasp. If humans had orgasms with the intensity of a cat serviced in this way there would be no such thing as war, hunger, capitalism or God.

Background: A cat in heat is, with few exceptions, one of the most irritating things to have living in your home. A cat in heat will follow you around and howl at you in a bone chilling, hideous wail until you are ready just to toss it outside and let it get pounded by the local tom's. After a few days of this torture having to drown a few kittens sounds relaxing. This cat-saving technique was first demonstrated to me by a terminally un-squeemish roomate of years past.

And there you have it! Your cat's no longer broken. Enjoy your silence and lack of horrible yowling and catstink.
>> Anonymous
you just want to beat it to the idea of massive amounts of cats getting q-tips rammed up their cooches
>> Anonymous
Other preventative solution: Desex the damned cat in the first place. Problem solved even before it begins!
>> Anonymous
>>199720
>>199721

You could always just ram your micro-penis into it to service it, fucking catfag.
>> Dr. Drews' Cat
     File :-(, x)
thats fukin sick. sick as in barf all over ur bf's cock sick.
>> Anonymous
I lol'd. Well written on disgusting practice
>> Mr. Bubbles !!DLJ3bQ7yunJ
Parrots dont have that kind of problem. They just rub up against something for a few seconds, and theyre done.
>> Anonymous
Why would you rather masturbate a cat than spay it? Jesus christ.
>> Anonymous
>>199727
>>199783

I think it was about 1 in every 50 cats or so, even after desexing, the cat still goes in heat.
>> Anonymous
>>199786
Weird. Never heard of that.
>> Anonymous
>>199787

Well, my friend never heard of it too... until her desexed cat started caterwauling.
>> Anonymous
even if the cats been spayed or goes into heat anyway; have you ever owned a cat in heat and let it go outside to get "pounded by the local toms"? it doesn't stop losing its head wailing after one go, its in essence a cat slut, anyone who tries this is just going to have their cat bugging them to q-tip them instead
>> Anonymous
>>199720
Another Anonymous likes Dan Bialek? Who knew.
>> Anonymous
oh fukken shit i came after reading this.
i usually cum when i check you out,/y/, but never this good
>> Anonymous
OLD AS SHIT, FAGGOTS, GOD DAMN

DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THE RIGHT PICTURE ATTACHED
>> Anonymous
>>199821
oh yeah? what's the right picture?
>> Anonymous
>>199838

THE ONE OF THE CAT WITH SOMEONE'S FINGER UP ITS VAG, DUH.