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Anonymous
RUSH: Folks, do you remember the cat Oscar? That cat in the nursing home that sensed when patients were going to die? He'd get up on their beds and they'd die. Well, Oscar has turned up dead. "Officials at the nursing home would not reveal the cause of death, but they did acknowledge rumors that the cat was growing increasingly unpopular among the patients." Gee, I wonder why! The cat jumps up on your bed, and you die! "One knowledgeable source who agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity confirmed increasing animosity toward Oscar the cat, and a dented bedpan was found near the body of Oscar the cat." I'm sure it jumped up on the bed and a seasoned citizen not ready to cash it in said, "Get off the bed, Oscar!"
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