File :-(, x, )
ITT RACCOON MADNESS!!! Anonymous
So /an/, yesterday I was peacefully smoking a cigarette in my backyard late at night, when all of the sudden this wild raccoon (followed by three or four of her offsprings) appeared.
At first I was like (wtf youscaredmeidroppedmycigarettebitch), and then I was shitting brix all over cuz the evil bitch started running towards me really fast. So, I did what any sane man would do in this situation: I RAN LIKE A WHORE.
In the end...this encounter made me think about something I never have b4.
How dangerous are raccoons? And, what damage can they inflict on humans?
Please note that I know squat about animal behavior.

in b4 gtfo newfag lurk moar
>> Anonymous
YR GONNA GIT RABIES
>> Anonymous
See those teeth? Very sharp. They will fuck you up. Not to mention they're one of the worst carriers for rabies...
>> Anonymous
>>204975
Is that so?...Hmm, I hear them tearing through my neighbors trash bags every now and then. I guess this means bad news. Shit!
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Call the Exterminators.
>> Anonymous
>>205013
Damn. How do I know if there's a raccoon infestation in my neighborhood? :S
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
"Good Anonymous. I will have you know that not all our kind are verminous or infected with the rabies virus."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205020
"Some of us are actually quite sophisticated."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205021
"I have taken a liking to playing the ivory keys, for example."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205022
"My brother, pardon his skin condition, fancies himself a connoisseur of sorts."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205024
"My cousin in Brooklyn has quite the slight hand and has become rather adept at parlor tricks."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205025
"Of course our charm also attracts the fairer sex."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205026
"So, good Anon. Remember not all raccoons should be seen as pests."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205027
"So sleep well, Anon. Sleep well in the knowledge that we will not hurt you."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205029
"Sleep well in the knowledge that sound you hear is not us rendering your primitive barricades obsolete."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205030
"That the creak of your door is only your imagination."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205020
"My cousin Vinnie enjoys drinking Limoncello a little bit too much."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205031
"Most of all. Sleep well in the fact that the strange sensation is not us dragging you to the sewers to devour your flesh as you scream and writhe in the darkness."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205033
"It is all just a nightmare, Anon. A bad dream. Rest your head and sleep soundly."
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>205034
"Let death's embrace take your soul as it is dragged to hell."
>> Anonymous
raccoons are fun to shoot.
>> Anonymous
>>205035
WhoaQ
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>> Anonymous
>>205042
HAHAHA OH WOW
>> Anonymous
inb4 raccoon blowjob
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
This is an untypical behavior for raccoons. Normally, they won't attack something as big as a human, knowing that this could be very dangerous to themselves. Maybe she had another encounter before and wanted to chase you away to prevent anyone doing (even more) harm to her cubs. Just have a look at the huge amount of videos of raccoons on YouTube where the family is only some feet away, but is completely unimpressed by the presence of humans. So, they are normally unagressive.

Please note that the danger of rabies is exagerated outside local outbreak areas. Rabid Raccoons are also known to not get aggressive but hiding in their dens. Disoriented behavior is the most important sign of rabies. Seeing raccoons at daylight is NOT.

All in all, running away was the best option in this special situation since raccoon bites can be very serious.
>> Anonymous
Raccoons hate niggers. Stop being one and they wont attack you.
>> Anonymous
>>205218
truth
>> Anonymous
One time a rabid (I'm guessing, it looked sick as fuck) raccoon wandered into our yard and died under the shed. Animal control wanted $200 to pick it up, so we had to scrape it out from under there ourselves. It's a shame there wasn't anyone I wanted to pull a prank on at the time, because the guts were fucking gross.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Why does everybody assume that any sick carnivor has rabies? It's not like there aren't at least a dozen other lethal illnesses.
>> Anonymous
Raccoons love to invade my backyard and eat my dogs food while they are sleeping/inside for the night. One time I caught one in the act, flung open the back door and gave it a scare. It quickly turned around, bolted for the fence, and ran straight into a patio chair. It sat there disoriented for a moment, got up, and tried to continue its escape. Well, it got a few steps and fell into my pool, got out, and disappeared into the darkness. Oh man was that funny.