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Bitter Anon
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Flick his ear when he does something bad. It works best if you manage to get total contact between the back of your fingernail and his ear.
I'm serious. I've only met one cat that does not instantly run away when you do this, and it generally only takes one or two times to get them to completely stop the behavior. Why does this work? Because their ears are incredibly sensitive and it startles them. To test the theory, have someone flick the back of YOUR ear.
You have to make sure you catch them in the act, though. When he does it, not when you come across it later. If he shits on your bed, don't rub his nose in it, he'll just think you're rubbing his face in shit for no good reason. Punishing them after the crime has been commited is what creates cats that think its okay to retaliate. If you spank him without cause, he will think it is okay to bite you without reason.
An example of how well this works: I foster animals. I have two intact females in the house right now, and three castrated males. When the girls are not in heat, they all play like happy friends. But when the girls are being frisky.. the boys stay the fuck away. Why? Because when they were not fixed, I flicked their ears every time they started to get "interested" in the girls. Now, to the boys, vagina = oh god my ear hurts dad is mad oh god. Therefore, they stay away from vagoos. I am still trying to teach the girls that it is not okay to rub their cooters on everything, but girl cats are masochists and kinda like the ear flicking, so it doesn't work as well.
Honestly though, I cant guarentee this will work with your cat, because he wasn't raised with strict discipline and a clear authority figure. If any other anons get a kitten though.. don't be afraid to flick their ears and grab the little bastards by the scruff of their necks and toss them out the room when they are being shitheads.
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