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Anonymous
Dear /an/
I found this thing shuffling around the bushes. It's about the size of a small cat and looks docile. I took it home and currently is keeping it in a stainless steel cage for parrots. It wouldn't eat the bird feeds so I'm feeding it chicken. My question is, how big do they get? and are they protected/dangerous?
>> Anonymous
OP here
Also, what should I name it?
>> Anonymous
>>127607

You have to fead it pork.That's a striped butthumper.
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>127610
Listen buddy, I know a thing or two about striped butthumpers, and that is not a striped butthumper.

Also, name it biscuits
>> Anonymous
>>127612

Well for one thing I know that IS a striped butthumper.Maybe a striped cocksquisher,thou...

Yeah,Biscuits.
>> Anonymous
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Looks like you've found yourself a baby errosaur. Since it isn't full grown yet, it may be hard to tell which species it is, and therefore how big it will grow. Just in case, be prepared for the possibility that it will end up being larger than you, so assert your dominance while you still can.

As you can see from the teeth, this animal is a predator, so feeding it meat is a good idea. Don't give it any bird bones, though, they might hurt its intestines. Since it's still a baby, you should cook the meat, because normally its mother would vomit half-digested meat for it. Normally I wouldn't advocate taking wild animals as pets, but since the mother must have abandoned it already, it's best that you look after it.
>> Anonymous
>>127616

Bullwhacks.If that was a baby errosaur OP would be screwed.Mothra errosaur will come after him and bite off his family jewels.
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>127615
>that IS a striped butthumper.Maybe a striped cocksquisher
Obviously you don't know it is a striped butthumper if you think it might be a cocksquisher! I'm telling you, that's not any kind of butthumper. They tend to have multicoloured stripes and usually the feathers are much more bold.
>> Anonymous
>>127622

Well what do you perprose it is?
>> Anonymous
>>127621
It's not impossible. Sometimes mother errosaurs just abandon their babies. Stuff like that happens in nature just as it does in zoos.

Of course, there's still the risk that when the baby grows up, it will be the one biting OP's balls off...
>> Anonymous
>>127625

OP loses his balls either way,heh.I like that thought.
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>127624
I honestly don't know, but from what the OP named the picture, I would assume a Tyrannosaur or close relative.
>>127616believes it to be an Errosaur (The family that big predators are in, yea?)
>> Anonymous
u know a lot about butthumpers, huh>>127622
>> Anonymous
>>127629

Oh please.It looks nothing like a tyrannosaur.More like a zebrastriped cumlicker.
>> Anonymous
>>127630

Yes.They are a species evolved from little bacteria on a plane.
>> Anonymous
>>127616
OP here
Thanks, since it's one of those errosaurs I won't need to worry about it getting as big as its extinct relatives.
Hm, though since its a reptile, should I get one of those heat lamps? or is it endothermic enough for me to just give it a doghouse with aspen shavings.
I'm well aware of the fact that I may need to dedicate a room in my house for it. Hopefully it can be leash trained.
>> Anonymous
>>127633

No it can not be leash trained.Leashes are it's narutal prey.
>> Anonymous
>>127633
Errosaurs are fully endothermic, though I'm not sure if a baby that small should be running on its own. It might still need brooding from its mother to keep warm. At least get it a warm blanket, possibly an electric one to lay on if it feels cold.
>> Anonymous
>>127637

Pinching just below their necks helps too because it releases a chemical that will spray a peppery substance in his blood.This warms up his body.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
It's a red butthumper, also known as Errosaurus birdusdelicious. you're correct on feeding it chicken, as wild waterfowl /gamefowl are the natural prey. Yes, they do get as tall as you are (small for a dinosaur) and can pack a powerful crunch with those killer jaws. You might want to watch out for any sudden movement from the head, or tail, or feet.
You might want to leash train it, with chrome steel chains.
Also, name it Grimlock
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>127630
I've spent a great part of my life dealing closely with butthumpers, I've even put out a documentary on their mating habits.

>>127632
False, where is it you are getting your information? Butthumpers are simply an evolutionary offshoot of the vagchaser. Due to the butthumper's inability to reliably breed on their own, a population left alone will likely go extinct. This is why it's so important to occasionally cross the two.
>> Anonymous
>>127641

Nono,it's the other way around,because the vagchasers evolved from butthumpers whent he Easterbunny granted them a wish
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>127642
I hate you so much. Why must you spread disinformation?
>> Anonymous
>>127645
so you'll pay attention to me :(
>> Anonymous
>>127645

It's the truth.Your just wrongly right.
>> Anonymous
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Feed it giant squid and sperm whales
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>127646
Baby, why you gotta make me hit you? You know I love you. I drink because you burn dinner.

>>127647
Yes, yes I am.

>>127648
Well, since it's a baby, I'd suggest feeding it americans (whale larva) and grocery-store purchased squid.
>> Anonymous
>>127651

If you want it to shine you can feed it toxic waste.Then use it as a bedlamp.
>> Anonymous
>>127651
Americans are unhealthy, filled with all sorts of unnatural chemicals and saturated fats. They'll make your new pet sick.
>> Anonymous
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Let it join the air force
>> Anonymous
>>127651
But I burn dinner so that you won't drink...
>> Bitter Anon !!WJLRQ1cwCyZ
>>127658
Stupid bitch! Thats it, I'm going to the bar and watching football where I won't have to hear your nagging!

>>127652
sdfkljghg

>>127653
Good point. A previous poster suggested chicken. I wonder, does it also need pine bedding? I think a heatlamp would be a good idea, even if it's not medically nessicary.
>> Anonymous
lulz
>> Anonymous
>>127655

agreed.
>> Anonymous
wow
>> ??
>>127648
sperm lol
>> Anonymous
You guys are all wrong. It's very obviously a frog named Fred.
>> Anonymous
>>128319
Fred the Frog is green you retard. You're just jealous because you don't know shit about errosaurs.
>> Anonymous
>>127621and anything else you have
>>127648JAWSOME
>>127655sauce?
>> Anonymous
him name is hopkin green frog
>> Anonymous
This thread boggled my mind so much I was half wishing these weren't long fucked in the ass by nature.
>> Anonymous
>>128341
>sauce
That's Calvin and Hobbes.

I want one too.
Is there a way you can breed them?
They're so cute!