File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Hey /an/, what's the most humane way to put down a hamster?

See, mine was mauled by a cat last night (some one let it out of its cage while I was gone), and I really doubt it'll be alive for much longer.

I'm really worried about it, and I hate seeing it in this much pain. I just want to put it out it its misery.
>> Anonymous
Light charcoal and put it in a box with it
>> Anonymous
sorry about your hamster. you should have watched carefully.

but i've been meaning to ask something like this before. i'd like to know some ways to put an animal out of its misery without having to go to the vet or inducing pain.
no. i'm not an animal killer, i just tend to find animals such as cats that have been hit by cars and i know they aren't going to live and i rather not just sit and wait for them to die.
>> Anonymous
put it in a bag then whack it really hard against concrete.
>> Anonymous
Crush it.
>> Anonymous
>>72105
Carbon Monoxide is pretty painless. Just make sure the hamster doesn't catch on fire.

Sure you need to put it down though? I mean a vet might be able to help...
>> Anonymous
Clearly it needs putting down, so Crush it.
>> Anonymous
Put your hamster in a cooler with dry ice (not touching the dry ice of course, put it in an inescapable box first- then put the box (with small airholes) in with the dry ice.) They will fall asleep and die peacefully this way.
>> Anonymous
Just make it drink some vodka.
>> Anonymous
I went with the dry ice way. Thanks you guys (and thanks to the not-so helpful responses, I got a good chuckle out of them).

I'm going to go and grieve now, like the little girl that I am.

Thanks again, bye.
>> Anonymous
Richard Gere's ass
>> Anonymous
>>72117
lol, anonymous, you so Funnay!
>> Wesker !JYbrm0g7fs
My hamster was mauled by a cat.

I didn't have this dilemma, however, considering that the only thing left to put down would've been an organ or two.

Literally.
>> Anonymous
hmm i think playing baseball would end it pretty fast
>> Anonymous
DON'T PUT IT DOWN!

Bring it to a vet and save its life!
>> Wesker !JYbrm0g7fs
>>72158
A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT LOL
>> Anonymous
You could've taken it to a vet, lol.

Back when I worked at a pet store we regularly killed mice for the snakes by whirring them over our heads by the tail and smacking them on the tile and assuring all onlooking new employees, "It's actually quite humane!"

Hahahahaha.
>> Anonymous
guys.
it was a hamster.

better off ending its life then paying a shit load of money for a hamster operation that probably won't even work. its hard to operate on small animals.
>> Anonymous
snap its neck like a chicken
>> Anonymous
>>72158

You can usually tell when a hamster is done for. They look pretty bad before they die. I'm glad the OP killed it humanely though, it died without pain.
>> Anonymous
Use a butchers' knife, and slice it between the torso, and the head.

Sorry for your loss, bro.
>> Anonymous
>>72185

While I'd defend paying anything for an animal in the chance of saving its life, with what the OP said, the hamster was pretty close to death as is. And you're right, it's very hard for vets to get the proper amount of anesthetic to even put a hamster down for surgery. The vet probably would have just put it down and it would have cost a lot more than the method OP used.
>> Anonymous
OP here,

I wasn't able to find dry ice nearby from a store

so I sat on it ):
>> Anonymous
shoulda put it in it's little plastic hamster ball, and rolled it out for one final stroll, down the middle of the street
>> Anonymous
Too late now, but I have some suggestions for the next time:

-Throw into oncoming traffic/Hurl at street signs from a moving car.

-Tape to railway tracks

Since they are so small, the Weight/Drag ratio is quite low, if dropped from a tall building, terminal velocity is reached after about 2-3 stories (about 10 m/s). This is too little to ensure a quick death, if even lethal at all.
For comparison, humans can reach terminal velocities of about 60m/s, for that you'd need at least 180 meters of free fall...
However, you can tape it to your sole, jump and try to and on your feet (or head, if you decide to place it there).
The advantage of this, is that you'll know instantaneously whether you're going to hell for this.
>> Anonymous
Don't use a knife or drop it, that would be painful. Just hit it really hard with a heavy blunt object, like a shovel (not the edge).
>> Anonymous
Oh, and don't shoot it with a BB gun either. It tried that on a dying rat, and it was still wriggling around after two shots right in the forehead.
>> Anonymous
For animals small enough a sharp strike in the neck right behind the head is quite fast and clean. The back of a large knife is good tool for this. This method doesn't leave a tiny squashed-up carcass and is about as painless as can be without drugs or CO-suffocation.
This works for larger animals as well if the tool is heavy enough and your strike has sufficient force. If for example you run over a dog and it's still alive and clearly suffering, a tire iron or some such is an act of mercy.
I was once driving with my dad and we ran into a reindeer. (We live in one of the Nordic countries.) There's no use in clubbing *them* on the head, too much bone, and we had no firearm to do it with so he grabbed it's horns and slashed it's throat with a knife.
>> Anonymous
Baseball bat..

*toss*
*SMACK*
>> Anonymous
>>72365
... and *SPATTER*
Asshole. Probably veeery quick and thus relatively painless, not counting the terror it would feel, but an insensitive asshole nevertheless.
>> Anonymous
hamsters are only 5bux why waste money on a vet?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Judo chop!
>> Anonymous
I'd recommend gas. Just put it in a big then let your car exhaust in it.
>> Anonymous
>>72400

Best method, imo.

Not too messy and disgusting like smashing it with a baseball bat, and it lets the hammy rest in peace.
>> Anonymous
Overdose it with cough medicine (the kind that makes you drowsy). And I mean OVERDOSE.
>> Anonymous
This thread made me lol hard.
>> Wesker !JYbrm0g7fs
>>72183
So that's how they prepare my sweet Annushka's food!
>> Anonymous
When my hammy was dying, I picked it up and hugged it. When I was done, it was already dead. ;_;
>> Anonymous
Put it in a sushi roll. It is an honorable way to die
>> Anonymous
Get a garbage bag, put hamster in garbage bag, attach end of bag to tail pipe of car.

Start car, allow bag to fill with carbon monoxide. Allow hamster to asphyxiate.
>> Anonymous
nevermind

I sat on it :(
>> Anonymous
As we all know, carbon monoxide asphyxiation is painless, and your hamster will simply fall into unconsciousness and never wake up.
>> Anonymous
>72365 Baseball bat . . . *toss*
*strike!* You fucker, you missed!
>> Anonymous
Throw it against the wall as hard as you can. I will definitely die in a split second.

Alternative is smash it with a shovel.
>> Anonymous
This thread is awesome.
>> Anonymous
>>72104
I heard Big Mike puts them in his Urethra to kill them...
>> Anonymous
best /an/ topic EVER.
>> Anonymous
lol first time I'm on /an/ and I lol'ed so fuckin hard!
>> Anonymous
>>72128

My mother actually tried putting down our gerbile with booze and sleep medicine.
The poor creature survived it, and was wasted for a whole week, just running around the cage, falling down and running again.
>> Anonymous
Ziplock bag, seal him up and it'll be over in a minute. Sorry for your loss.
>> Anonymous
why not just let the cat finish it?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Hey /an/, what's the best way to preserve a hamster, without it losing the flavor?

See, I tried to eat mine last night but it got away (I managed to open the cage while a master was out), and I really doubt it'll be fresh for much longer.

I'm really worried about it, and I hate seeing it go to waste like that. I just want to eat it so much!
>> Anonymous
>>73345
GO BACK TO BED, GARFIELD!
>> Anonymous
1. Get Condom.
2. Place hamster in condom.
3. Insert condom into rectum.
4. ???
5. Profit.
>> Anonymous
Excuse my ignorance, but how is freezing it humane? Won't it hurt like hell before the hamster becomes numb?
>> Anonymous
>>73373
Google frozen ice
>> Anonymous
>>73374
What? Frozen ice? Do you mean dry ice? I still don't see how that doesn't hurt
>> Anonymous
>>73373

You don't put it AGAINST the dry ice. The dry ice (carbon dioxide) cause the hamster to fall asleep, and then its body shuts down. It's not freezing it, it's asphixiating. It's how they put down rodents to feed to snakes. It's about as humane as you can get.
>> Anonymous
>>73423
That explains everything, thanks.

Sorry about your hamster OP
>> Anonymous
Take it out back.
>> Anonymous
TT needs screencap.
>> B
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
>> Anonymous
RAT POISON.

It's a powerful neurotoxin, he'll be dead in minutes.
>> Anonymous
>>73444

I agree. Someone screencap this topic.

It is beyond epic. It is LULZGENDARY.