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Bitter Anon
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I am a little confused here. >I refuse to let the cat decide not to be held or played with Do you mean that you randomly pick up your cat, give it a hug and play with it, then continue what you are doing.. or do you mean you hold a cat while it is flailing and trying to get away, while babytalking and rubbing its fur all weird?
If the former, then HELL YES, that is great. As you said, it results in very social, laid back cats. Cats that are used to that kind of thing are much less likely to be skittish. All of the cats that go through my house get this treatment. If I am walking through the living room, I say make eye contact with whatever cat is in the room, maybe pick them up for a moment, or knock them over with my foot (not kick, but just enough that they roll over or sit down). As a result, they don't freak out if someone bumps into them or sits by them on the couch, they don't run whenever someone new walks past, etc etc. Socialization is a good thing. A cat that actually WANTS to spend time with people is a cat that is likely to get a good home, so socialization is very important when raising kittens or fostering animals.
However, cats make it very very clear when they are finished being social. If your cat is hissing, clawing, yowling, and trying to get away, then you need to fucking stop whatever you are doing. Do not ever chase your cat to pick it up or grab it in a way that makes it cry out. Those things will make a cat see people as predators and they will either become very reclusive and skittish or they will be aggressive, and neither make very good pets.
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