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Anonymous
Jesus HATES CATS!

http://www.dbhome.dk/carlo/cat.htm

SO CHOOSE /AN YOU CAN"T HAVE BOTH
>> Anonymous
Some have exposed themselves to possible spiritual contamination in this way. To invite cats in our house is to toy with disaster. Can one deny that the chance exists that the same grave consequences could visit your home that fell upon John? Clearly, God disapproved of this 'birthday' party. Should we not then disapprove (without showing any malicious intent, only Godly hatred) of cats the way the scriptures recommend?
>> Anonymous
Holy shit! They ARE heading back to the dark ages!

...anybody got some witches we could burn?
>> Anonymous
>>171769
From the sauce:"Throughout history, particularly in the middle ages and reaching its climax in the Salem Witch trials of the seventeenth century, cats were recognized by the forces of Christendom as familiars and carriers if not direct incarnates of demons. "

LOL well I'm convinced.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Forget burning... Give them the comfy chair!
>> Anonymous
>>171778
Well that was unexpected.
>> Anonymous
Cats > Jesus

Cats have 9 lives.
>> Anonymous
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>>171769
DUH! Jesus prefers dinosaurs. Every good Christian knows this.
>> Anonymous
>>171784
That's why Satan drove dinosaurs to extinction.
>> Anonymous
>>171785
OFCOURSE! and now cats are free to roam the world corrupting men's souls
>> Anonymous
>>171769

Explain to me then, why is there a kitty heaven?
>> Anonymous
My cat is fluffy and cute and purrs when I speak to him. I talk to Jesus all the time and he doesn't do jack shit. So I choose my cat.
>> Anonymous
>>171793

Jesus hates cats. Jesus is also a hypocritical bastard.
>> Anonymous
>>171794
Jesus hates a shitload of things, apparently. But he loves people who donate lots of money to their local preacher!
>> Anonymous
>>171799

Or local boyscout troop!
>> Anonymous
>Jesus
>God
>Christianity
>> Anonymous
>>171801

>Kitties?
>> Anonymous
From the source: Indeed, modern studies of classification of cats, while not necessarily being reliable as they may be based on the discredited 'theory' of evolution, strongly associate felines with serpents (despite some external differences in physiology and morphology, which confuse those who do not study these matters deeply)."

I sat back and lol'd for quite a while at that one.

Cat, anyday. Jesus doesn't stand a chance.
>> Anonymous
>>171810
Cats can make people say retarded things.
Jesus can make people say retarded things.

Since I can't take a Jesus as a pet, I think I'll settle for a cat.
>> Anonymous
>>171816
I think many christians think Jesus IS their pet.
>> Anonymous
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>>171810
Proof: Cats conversing with snakes.
>> Anonymous
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>>171818
>>171810

Further proof: Cat obviously attempting to embrace its distant relative.
>> Anonymous
>>171794
>>171799
Christfag here. I'd just liek to point out that neither Jesus nor God hate anybody or anything, and that anyone who says differently is either lying or misinformed. They love everybody, from you to Satan, any the emotion they feel about sins and sinning is not that of hatred, but of sadness.
>> Anonymous
"Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits not befitting a Christian household: coughing up fur balls, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?), urination on the floor, vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum) and widespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices, substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness, stealing food from the table, producing ungodly sounds, excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus, the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night, and so on."
>> Anonymous
>>171821
How can god not hate I thought he was infinite
>> Anonymous
>>171819
Picture makes me lol pretty hard, for some reason
>>171821
People are always using Jesus' name to promote hate bullshit. This is not news.
>> Anonymous
>>171822
If that looney didn't justify his ranting with religion, he'd be locked up in a safe place and stuffed full of meds. But as long as it's RELIGIOUS insanity, it must be okay.
>> Anonymous
>>171824
I'm not saying that they didn't. I'm just saying that they are wrong and should be ignored completely.
>> Anonymous
>>171828
>>I'm just saying that Religions are wrong and should be ignored completely.

fixed that for you
>> Anonymous
>>171828
We know he's wrong. Problem is, any religious nut will think he's right.
>> Anonymous
>>171821
Deuteronomy 12:31
You must not worship the LORD your God in their way, because in worshiping their gods, they do all kinds of detestable things the LORD hates. They even burn their sons and daughters in the fire as sacrifices to their gods.

Deuteronomy 16:22
and do not erect a sacred stone, for these the LORD your God hates.

pwnt
>> Anonymous
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>>171810
It's true! Just look at this phylogenetic tree I found on the Internets!
>> Anonymous
>>171834
NO SCIENCE NOOO! SAY IT AINT SOOOO
>> Anonymous
>>171830
I'm a religious nut, and I don't think he's correct.

>>171831
Err, what? Those had nothing to do with what I said.

>>171823
He does hate. He just doesn't hate anybody; He loves everybody. He hates the sins, not the sinners.
>> Anonymous
>>171837
Well according to the sources supplied by the internets you are not a true christian. Go pet your devil cat heathen!
>> Anonymous
>>171837
>>He does hate. He just doesn't hate anybody; He loves everybody. He hates the sins, not the sinners.

Right and God doesn't consider cats to be anybody. So he can hate them.
/thread
>> Anonymous
>>171822
thats hilarious
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Further proof.
>> Gunlord !.YMO7aNBcQ
Pardon me for being a Christaboo, but from the OP's link...

>>The careful student of the Bible will acknowledge that nowhere within it is any species ('kind') of cat referred to in favorable terms. In fact, was it not lions of the first century who the Devil used to devour faithful Christians?

This isn't quite right.

>>Proverbs 28:1--The wicked man flees though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion.

Here, righteousness and courage are associated with lions (cats)--clearly a positive reference. God is also compared to a lion on several occasions--His wrath is like a lion's roar, etc. etc. etc.
>> Anonymous
is it just me or does this prove that cats have eye beams??
>> Anonymous
This thread made me lol more than it should.
>> Anonymous
>>171877

Wasn't Aslan really Jesus in a costume?
>> Anonymous
which jeasus?? regular, zombie, raptor, or extra crispy??
>> Anonymous
>.> In Garfield's 9 lives Jesus is a cat...
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
Further proof. See how the cat mocks the Lord!?