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Anonymous
I would not recommend turtles if you're looking for something "cheap, small, and easy to take care of."
Your average water turtle (red eared sliders are probably the most common, no?) is going to get like ten inches in length. This means a large tank, one fit to hold water, with appropriate heating and filtration because an aquatic turtle will dirty a tank FAST and it smells like cat piss. They need very specific lighting (heat and UV) which isn't cheap - these are vital to their shell health, activity levels, etc. Then there's also their diet - strictly turtle pellets or just feeder fish aren't good for them, they need a variety. Not to mention they're strong and can easily push filters/heaters out of the water and damage them, move rocks and get themselves in trouble, etc.
Tortoises are a little easier to take care of but are usually expensive, think around $100-ish for one that isn't going to get very large. They still have a pretty demanding diet, however, fresh vegetables and fruits, some need animal proteins in some form, and so on.
I'd say you're probably better off with a hermit crab. Also, your roommate is a moron. And a pussy.
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